Original subtitles

Don't leave anything on Dean that'll ID his body.

Get it all.

Ow.

Ow.

Damn.

That won't bother you much longer.

What?

You shouldn't have stuck your nose where it didn't belong.

What am I doing in here?

This isn't right.

Who are you?

Amnesia?

You don't remember the test blast?

I know what you're talking about.

Go.

I gotta get out of here.

Hey, if he does that again, break his fingers.

What did that do to you?

It's not what you did, Joe.

It's what you saw.

Joe.

Joe. Is that my name?

Yeah.

I mean, maybe you are telling the truth. We did dent your head pretty good.

That hasn't changed anything.

My boss doesn't want to see you buried in the desert.

All right, fellas, let's roll. I want to swing through Vegas when we're done.

Don't tell me you're going to the range.

The day you see me do that is the day you see me in sensible walking shoes.

The mayor's assistant is paying us a visit, and Val wants to soften our rock

-and -sock image.

Right, I'm going to show him that VIP is not just about guns.

It's about helping people.

And fabulous clothes.

I wore this to storm in the Ukrainian -Belizean nuclear Gucci bag.

Why the whitewash for City Hall?

Oh, little thing called Mayor for a Day contest.

Val's one of the finalists because she received the most amount of online write

-in votes.

I don't suppose you helped with Val's score?

Maybe. I sent in a few thousand.

But it is for a good cause.

Yeah. You know, if I get to wear the mayor crown, I am going to make this

hipper for everybody. See?

I believe in Talmente.

Well, then I have to win.

Is that my writing?

What number is this?

I'll get that. That's okay.

Who is that?

Hello? Anybody home?

Oh.

Whoever that was, I think I made a computer crash.

The beautiful and lethal Valerie Irons.

Plucked from obscurity to head an elite Los Angeles bodyguard agency.

They know how to get things done.

Eventually.

I wore this little ensemble to a PETA event where I disarmed a bomb in the B

-52's wake, and I saved the party, but got the wig.

You never forget the tough one.

Helping to run City Hall is a hard job, too.

Run City Hall?

Aren't you the mayor's assistant?

Answer his phone, right? The mayor has many phones.

Making recommendations for the Mayor of the Day contest is definitely one of the

perks.

Might as well call the contest.

No way anyone's going to beat Val.

You could be right.

I think it's fabulous how your whole staff is volunteering their time for the

mayor's pet project.

The whole staff?

That's news to me.

Surprise! I've got everybody hooked up with community service.

We're fully booked.

I just think it's time we give back, you know, to the city. We'd better do it

soon. The DA's office is threatening to yank our license.

All because of last week's Hollywood Boulevard explosion fire flood mishap.

you caused.

See? If I were mayor, I could just... Lose that whole nasty mess. Right over.

Look, we have to keep this mom and pop organization going, okay? So you guys

have to help me win the contest.

Well, Johnny and I are part of the mayor's volunteer brigade.

Quick and Tasha will be painting murals in Venice.

And Nikki, she's already doing a pro bono gig.

They got me endurance testing some super fuel efficient car they invested in.

And the queen bee?

True. Uh, I'll be shopping.

At Bloomy's.

Pantry. Snap, snap.

Everyone smile.

So that's Valerie.

Head bodyguard.

She's willing to answer the phone.

Is that why I wrote down her number?

Maybe she knows me.

Maybe I can find her.

That was easy. I've done this before.

Maybe a little too easy.

All right, the ignition wires are red.

Red.

How do I know that?

Okay, Santa Monica is that way.

Last night you promised me Dean would be cactus fertilizer by now. Mr. Harmon,

you broke one guy's nose and the other guy still can't see straight.

Before he came to work for me, he was an army ranger. You knew that. You should

have been prepared.

But the hit he took cleaned his clock.

He doesn't remember Jayhawk. He doesn't remember test blasts. He doesn't

remember anything.

Well, maybe that's good enough for you.

But it's not good enough for me.

If it gets out that I sabotaged Project Jayhawk, my next job is going to be in a

prison laundry.

It's not going to get out. The test blast went perfect.

When they're picking through the pieces of Jayhawk, they will not find a trace

of the bomb. It did not go perfect. That Boy Scout saw everything.

My guys are on the street. We're monitoring the police bands.

We'll find Dean.

You better.

Mail that.

We don't get a lot of sign -ups for the volunteer brigade.

Oh, we're happy to help. We're big believers in giving back to the

That's right.

It's not what the city can do for you.

It's what you can do for your city.

And what the hell is this?

I need you to wash the mayor's car.

You're kidding me, right?

We'll close our office down and come here.

It's a valuable service.

Johnny, he's got a point.

Excuse me?

Appearances are important. Val taught me that.

And besides, Val needs our help to win the contest.

Thanks,

the heat.

This car is a classic. The mayor just loves repeats.

I suppose one car is not going to kill us.

His honor has this big shindig to go through later, so, uh, chop -chop.

Then you can get started on the city council's car.

Okay.

Two days ago, I base jumped off a building in downtown LA with a bomb in

hands. Nicky radioed me the instructions, and I diffused it on the

And today, my job is this.

Paint by numbers.

Whoever designed this must be a mental patient.

Well, look at the bright side.

It's a beautiful day, and we're doing something good for the public.

Come on. Let's put it down, Rembrandt.

How's it feeling, Nicky?

A little knocking at a buck and a quarter.

Maybe the engineers down here don't know.

It's my job.

Whoa, this part's a bomb.

It's mercury and methane.

When the electric engine runs out of juice, the methane engine kicks in. They

finally made a green car with more guns than a blow dryer.

People might actually buy these.

Cops found a stolen car in the parking garage just about a little less than an

hour from we lost Dean.

Witness description says it's our guy.

We should split up.

What, did you think of that yourself?

Look, if you see him, radio me.

Don't go after him yourself.

Can you believe that people actually buy clothes off the Internet?

I know. What is that all about? That is not fun.

Shopping is about the heart. Catching stuff.

Trying it on. You can't do that on a computer. I need that crowded mall to go

the store. Right?

One thing, you want to download a pizza off the Internet.

Excuse me.

I've lost my memory. I think you can help.

Coming your way.

lost my memory. This is all that I have to go on.

Hey, that's the office number.

People are asking me and I don't know why.

Okay, well, less stoppy, more goey. Max Factor, look, it could be a billionaire

with amnesia.

Well, the

bartender

over here is an undercover cop friend of ours, so he can put the bad guys in the

pokey, and he can make the best modest he's ever had.

Well, I don't think it's a good idea if you bring your friend over just yet.

Why? Because the police staff are for the drink order.

Well, I think he doesn't want the police involved.

Paulie knows they could be after him, too.

Right?

Well,

if they weren't, they are now.

A hot -wired car to get over the mall.

See? Now, this is why I call Dreamalicious quick.

Because only thieves and mechanics know how to hot -wire cars.

Uh, Val, you should call the team to help you with this.

Oh, I never get to do my own cases.

If I do this, I'll get in good with the mayor, and I'll have more of a shot at

the mayor thing.

Plus, my spidey sense says that Freddy over here is a really good guy.

Freddy?

Scooby -Doo.

I'll call you something.

Scooby who?

Oh, God.

His amnesia is real bad.

Major. All right, fly solo on this, but if your spidey sense changes his tune...

Don't worry about it. I've got a really good idea on how to get Freddy's

identity back.

What, are you going to check in with missing persons?

That's boring.

I'm going to call Dionne Warwick and talk to a psychic friend.

Right. Good.

Okay. Well, then, cool. If we're going to drive anywhere, I'm sitting on your

lap, Mr. Mann. But you've got to change your clothes first.

What's the good news, Pip?

That taking down Dean's going to be tougher than we thought.

He's hooked up with Valerie Irons.

What did he tell her?

Nothing. I'm telling you, this guy's brain is a clean slate.

You idiot.

He's got enough of a slate to hook up with a bodyguard.

Look, you take care of the problem, or I'll have someone bury you in the

You aren't tired?

Try using some of your other muscles.

Just hold the sponge out and use your legs to go back and forth.

Yeah, like that.

Cool.

Like that, Kate. Keep it up.

What's up, guys?

Thought I'd show off my community service.

Real hard work.

They should name a street after you.

Ha, you're just jealous.

This baby's got 340 horses, 400 foot -pounds of torque, and the only thing

it does to the environment? Kills bugs fast.

Alright, let's go for a spin.

Um, excuse me, John.

The mayor's white walls will not wash themselves.

Whatever.

Who do I see about getting my windows squeegeed?

Oops.

Sophie is the best psychic around. She told me that I would never date Charlie

Sheen. And since I'm a blonde living in North America, that is really going on.

Our lives are in our own hands. You just have to know how to read it.

What, are you telling me who I am?

I don't see a name.

Not recently, you were some kind of laborer. She's channeling. No, no, he's

got grease on the nails.

Well, there goes the billionaire, Siri.

Shh, shh, shh, shh.

Danger. Danger swirls all around you.

Every teeny's clouded in smoke.

But soon you will meet two men who know you.

Oh, that's good news.

But these two men will have hot buns.

Now we're talking. Hey, maybe I'll get something out of it.

Be careful what you ask them. You might not relish the answers.

It's $50.

What are you doing?

I'm not paying you to eat.

Are you supposed to keep an eye on... Well, don't you worry about a thing. I

know exactly where we're going next.

Now where?

Medicare's.

Give us a job, you get 100%. True that.

At least we paid it at all lines.

You know, I wasn't thrilled about this job at first, but I gotta say, it helps

when you can personalize it, kind of make it your own.

Yeah.

Swapping that butterfly for HKG36?

Big improvement.

Come on, look at the detail.

The molded grips and stock. I even gave it that optional laser sight.

Yeah, those pussycats aren't wimps anymore.

I thought you said that, uh... The volunteer work was for suckers.

Maybe there is something to it.

Hey, we're looking for a red viper belonging to Valley Irons.

I promise we'll reacquire it.

I'm beginning to think a hole in the desert is too good for you.

Yes, sir, I know, but you should consider delaying your plan.

Jayhawk has to blow up at the unveiling.

Washington and the state reps are going to be there along with all the press.

It's too perfect to pass up.

Yeah, but if you wait for the production to start... I never in... I never

intended to go into production. That's the whole point.

I underpid the contract.

I have to get out now or I'm finished.

Taking a big risk.

Do you know what happened to NASA after the Space Shuttle Challenger blew up on

national TV?

No. No.

They got a $3 billion budget increase the next year.

That's the way Washington works. You got a problem, they throw money at it.

One more deal like Jayhawk, I can buy my island.

Who's that?

Last minute replacement. State sent us.

Don't get too attached.

Hi, I'm Vance Harmon.

Thank you, Franco.

How's my baby treating you?

Broken her in.

Oh, hopefully not too much. I want her to have a little spark left for the

unveiling this afternoon.

With me behind the wheel, we'll definitely get you money's worth.

Good.

I got you into this.

I just want to know who I am.

Oh, don't be so down.

As soon as you get your memory back and I win mayor for a day contest, we're

going to party like rock stars in the mayor's mansion.

You know, I'm really good at figuring out puzzles.

Let's just think about what we know about Freddy already.

Well, you're mechanical.

You see?

I can do the stair luge.

Interesting.

That helps. Oh!

Oh! Oh! God! What about in Cool Runnings? Remember the movie? Remember

crashed and they almost died? Right. And they pulled their... The rickety

bobsled over the finish line? Right, right.

So, I mean, okay, what's your point?

Here's a Jamaican bobsledder. No, honey, no.

How about that manicure now, huh?

Oh, yeah, you know what? That grease under your fingernails probably will

us something about all this.

Oh.

I don't know.

But I do know someone who knows everything about things that are funky.

This grease isn't grease.

It's mercury fulminate.

You work with thermometers.

No, mercury fulminate is a component in a top -secret fuel substitute.

Yeah, well, the guy in the SUV did say I stuck my nose where it didn't belong.

I've got to keep you under lock and key.

No one's at VIP, so you're best bet staying here.

Oh, I was going to show them my gallery of fashion.

Okay, fine, whatever.

I've got to get Jayhawk prepped for the big show. Duck into one of the offices

there, because everybody's got the track.

Jayhawk? What is this place?

Harmon Manufacturing.

Look, I gotta go. I'll talk to you guys later.

That must be fun for Nicky to test drive cars.

Yeah, he blows him up and he's got the job.

Something's here, I know it.

Come on, dig in.

Jayhawk.

Harmon Manufacturing.

God, I've been here.

All right, who's he?

Harmon. He's the one.

She has something to do with it. Come on, think.

Think.

Come on, stud.

Don't worry, Kay.

Doing races?

Maybe it's the whole motorcycle together with much less.

Yes, sir.

It's all done.

I've got it looking good as new for you.

No, thank you, sir.

Hi. Absolutely super, people.

Bang up job, if I say so myself.

I'm going to let the mayor know in a memo.

I'll CC you.

Oh, well, you know, if you bring your car around, I could get it all spick and

span for you.

I could use some sprucing up. I'll bring it by.

Oh, well, good.

You do that, then.

Excuse me?

Oh, right, of course.

Oh!

You don't want the fingerprints on the clean car.

Can you wait here for me?

The mayor and I have to go to this big Jayhawk car gala thing.

Well, I will wait as long as it takes.

Ew. I feel so dirty.

Which way did they go?

Which way did they go?

Plus you wrote Rialto Avenue on the wall.

You walked down the wrong street.

Ooh, he's got a bat.

He's got a pipe.

Go back where you came from.

You're going back and fixing that mural.

Look around.

You can walk out or you can crawl out.

Enough of this West Side Story.

You drive into our neighborhood and you put up that stupid mural and then you go

home. We gotta live with it.

Still doesn't give you the right to be short.

Hey, we can paint. You saw.

How come they never ask us, huh?

Forget about it.

What?

We think a mural sucks, too.

Okay,

now it's time to loosen up that memory.

Try anything.

Inkblots!

Okay,

so you tell us the first thing that comes to your mind, okay? Go.

Yeah, I don't think these work if you were hit on the head.

Could you at least just play along for a little bit? Because we spent a lot of

time on these things, okay? All right?

Okay.

A dog.

Maybe you'd have better luck if you pulled your head out of your butt.

They're here.

Gee, you know, that amnesia's really... I don't know how you got hit in the head

like that.

All right, that's me.

Maybe you work here.

And now what you did, Joe, is what you saw.

I wish I'd bombed you on the head a long time ago.

Those eight blots really work.

Really good.

Oh.

Dean McKee.

That's your name.

Dean.

Dean, right.

You don't remember the test blot?

Talk about your heart.

Harmon is going to blow up Project Jayhawk and make it look like a methane

explosion. No, no, no. Jayhawk is the car that Nicky's test driving.

That Boy Scout saw everything.

Yeah, I didn't write your number down because I needed protection.

I was going to warn Nicky.

Well, just stop remembering right there. I gotta talk to Kay. Yeah, uh... This

is serious.

Oh. Oh.

Okay, Kay. Yeah, I'll give Mickey the scoop. Just get over here fast, okay?

Remember me?

You bet I do.

It's too bad.

But you're just in time for the big show.

Oh, my God.

Nicky.

Kay said Val was trying to warn Nikki, but she got cut off. Did Kay call Nikki?

Couldn't get through.

She might already be in the car.

We got to pick everybody up.

Go to the proof and grab the stealth mode.

If Harmon sees us coming, he'll detonate J -Walk early.

Disappear the witnesses.

Should we use the cover?

I have an idea.

Give me all you got, and I want it now.

Want to know what I want? Put it down.

Yo, I want money. Yo, I want money. Yo, I want money. Yo, I want money. Yo, I

want money.

Yeah, I'm here with you. Go on.

Okay,

thank you.

Ladies and gentlemen, please take your seats.

You're about to witness the next generation of automotive.

You just want me to drive around in a circle?

That's what the boss wants. I could pull some 360s, spike things up.

Mickey, just drive this time, okay?

Wake me up when it's over.

Move him out after the explosion.

There's a car crash at the other facility.

Stick him in the trunk of the Viper, then cube it.

Hey, Harmon.

You're gonna get caught.

He may be the boss of this big company, but I'm not that smart.

Hmm. Well, I'm feeling a heck of a lot smarter than you right about now.

Enjoy the junkyard.

Hey, let me through. I want to take on the supercar. Body gas only, homie.

Now move this taco burner out of here.

Hey, that ain't cool, Stallone. Hey, I don't even like Mexican food.

Hey, in two seconds, I'm going to haul your ass out of there.

We've got no time.

Let's go.

This ought to be good.

Uh, you're a hanky.

I have allergies.

If we take it down, there's some behind there in that cabinet.

Hey, you got a lot more to worry about than running out of sweetheart.

Oh, I think, well, if I start sneezing, it's going to get really messy in here.

Yeah, it's messy. Hip, waiter, messy.

Talking nasty.

Uh, excellent.

That one.

Please, I can't even watch.

Oh, I'm sorry, sweetie.

You know this is the mayor's baby.

He comes back and his gun will go nuclear.

He wants to stick around.

No.

You can't.

Relax. You right over there.

Don't worry. We're going to take good care of it.

This is good.

That's more than fuel, ma 'am.

Pretty damn smart.

I'll get Harmon.

We'll do it your way.

Nice car, Nick. Now get out.

Come on.

What have you done to the car?

I'm sure the mayor's car will clean up.

That outfit is suitable for framing.

Well, this is what I was going to wear to the mayor for a day contest if I won.

See, that's not fair. The mayor should have given you extra points for helping

out Dean and locking Harmon up.

Well, he did.

Just that he wasn't too crazy about us blowing up his car.

Well, I'd rather have a friend for life than be mayor for a day.

Ha, ha, ha. Knock it off.

I just want to thank you guys for bailing me out.

No problem. If you'd have been there for us.

Yeah, I probably would have been there a little faster.

Not that I'm complaining or anything.

Here you go, guys.

Yeah, I just want to tell you, that new mural rocks.

Yeah, we made an executive decision and painted over the kiddies.

Ruben's crew painted a tribute to his lowrider.

Bitches.

Guys, I may have a little problem.

Oh, no idea.

Well, I must have flashed the wrong gang signal the other day at those

gangbangers or something.

Well, you didn't start a turf war or anything, right?

First.

That one.

She has the hots for me.

All I told you.

This isn't a gang fight.