Original subtitles

I feel like I know you. I mean, I think we've met somewhere before.

Yeah, that same feeling. It's weird.

All entrances secure.

I can't believe anyone would want to hurt you.

Well, my accountant got me involved in this land deal in Japan.

I pulled out as soon as I found out I was being run by Yakuten.

The Tokyo police wanted me to be careful.

I'm sure there's no hard feelings.

We have our order.

David Tokerchik must die.

So is it true what they say about bodyguards?

First rule is never get involved, never fall in love.

Oh, us bodyguards have a lot of silly thoughts.

Never run with scissors, never swim on a full stomach, never fall in love.

But when you're out on the field, you kind of just pee -pee -pee, play it by

ear. More champagne?

Please.

Nikki, check six. I see someone in the bush.

But isn't there an element of danger if you get involved with a client? You

might lose your concentration.

I'm sorry, what did you say?

I mean...

Aren't you afraid of losing that professional edge?

You have the most beautiful eyes.

You can turn your emotions on and off like a switch.

Or like a faucet.

I hate it when this happens.

Well, at least the bottle is empty.

Yeah.

Waiter, can we have another bottle?

Good work.

You guys don't understand. I got... Rocky Punch, I'm not a bodyguard.

But we are.

You'll just be a figurehead. A name on the door. You'll probably never even

leave the office.

You'll help us pull in the rich and famous.

We'll do the rest. We're professionals.

We'll take care of all the tough stuff.

So I'll never be in any danger?

Never. Never?

Never.

Well, I guess that's the end of the problem.

You made one mistake, Revo.

And what was that?

You got me mad.

The only guns I need are these.

The only guns I need are these.

Hurry up. Hurry up. Come on. Come on. He's going to kick somebody. He's going

kick somebody.

This is the best part. This is the best part. I've seen it 50 times, but I can't

get enough of watching Mike Brawler kick Wreck -It Rebo's butt all over the

block. All over the block.

I love that. I love that.

Yeah.

Rebo.

I guess he was yellow after all.

This is my favorite, favorite brawler film of all time. Wait a minute. What

about number two?

And my favorite brawler film of all time.

What was that film?

Oh, Five Socks. I know. It was embarrassing.

Watching the brawler going downhill.

I wonder what he's doing. And now a word from our spot.

Hi, I'm Dave Hart. You probably know me better as Mike Brawler from the brawler

movies. Hey!

What? Oh, my God. Come join my new gym.

Come meet me in person. I can see the brawler in person?

I can see the ball in person.

Great place for the whole family. Company rates available.

I'll get you the best shit for your life.

What do people wear to the gym?

Wow, looks good, huh, Julio?

Yeah. You like it?

It's going to be dope, man.

How's business, skunk? Just getting ready to call you, boss.

This is it?

Steroids alone used to bring in twice this. Things have been a bit off.

Maybe if I could have the next block down.

What's wrong with this block?

Mr. Clean over there needs exactly help.

Can I get done with this neighborhood, kid?

It's going to look like Beverly Hills.

More like Melrose.

You boys know this guy?

Yeah, I know him. He's fixing up the old McGinney workout gym.

He ain't on the street much. Oh, he's not on the street, all right.

Chased my last sail away with a baseball bat.

Well, I guess it's time we meet the new neighbor.

He's like, well, stay back.

It's a nice looking sign you got there.

Thanks.

You know who I am?

Do you know who he is?

Hey. Mr. Colcord wasn't talking to you, kid.

Leave the kid alone.

You know, I really appreciate what you're doing here. I really do.

You see, I'm a little worried about what can happen.

First, nice pretty boy, Jim.

Next thing you know, the whole neighborhood goes uphill.

You see, that's very bad for business.

You're the brawler.

That's why I know you.

You're the guy from the movie.

No wonder you still go with your hands.

Hey, you know, maybe you want to come work for me?

I got a job.

Thanks anyway.

Nice job.

You idiot.

This isn't over.

Yeah,

man.

It's good to work out as a team.

Since when did Miss Couch Potato get all interested in working out anyway?

Oh, since Kate emailed me about your fratty butt.

I did not. I swear, I would never flame your flabby butt. I mean, even if it was

flabby, which it isn't.

It's all right, Tosh.

Your butt's all right. I've been keeping tabs.

You're never going to get buff, cold cord. You keep sucking in that cancer.

You're not exactly the poster boy for clean living, Revo.

See, those make me strong.

They're making you nuts.

So, I hear your former co -star Dave Hart's setting up down the street.

How come you didn't tell me, Revo?

I got plans for Hart.

I was just waiting on this little sissy girl, Jim, though.

I see you could join.

Nah. So I can rip it apart, man.

That's back to what he did to me.

Now, see, that bothers me, Rex.

You taking a business matter like this and making it personal? When I could

handled it before it got out of control.

You just keep handing over the white lightning to me and my boys. See, that's

all the business that we have together.

There won't be no white lightning if the part has its way, okay?

Now, the last thing we need around here is urban renewal.

Don't worry.

I'll take care of the brawler, as if.

Fine.

Next time you see him, you might be in little pieces.

So the brawl has come to my turf, huh?

This time, we'll play by my rules.

You need some help?

Oh, God, no. I've done enough of those up -and -down, push -up -and -down -y

thingies. Fetch press 350.

Yeah.

Is that good?

For your size?

Absolutely.

Your first time here?

Yeah, well, me and my crew just joined today.

Wait a minute, you're Valerie Irons from VIP.

I thought I recognized you.

I'm a huge fan. I have seen all of your movies.

Oh, thank you.

I love them. I love... Oh, my God, number two was so great, but... Except

five. Yeah.

That really... I know. It really, really sucked.

Could have cut my loss at the roller floor.

If I tanked, I knew it was time to get back into the bodybuilding business.

No offense, but why build a great gym in such a lousy hood?

Actually, it's been here for quite a while.

I got my first break here from Old Man McGinney when I was a kid.

I got it fixed up. I thought it'd be a good way to give something back to the

community.

Looks like the community is giving it right back to you.

It's a bomb.

Looks like a chemical detonator. Everybody stay back.

Nick, you got it?

Yep. No problem.

Doc, you and me.

the detonator relay, but I'm not sure I can completely disarm it. I was talking

about Dave.

Hello.

Isn't he cute when I'm dressing him? That was sweet.

Yeah, he's the bomb.

Speaking of which, why'd you spray?

You must be working out really hard.

But you're not worried about that bomb thingy, are you?

You don't usually worry about bomb things.

You're the queen of bombs, right?

I can't stop it.

You've got two minutes to find an empty lot.

We've got to get going.

You said boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, kaboom, but never super kaboom. It means

let's go!

We running super kaboom.

up that all the way here cold court met that from my gym well not all of it you

know sometimes nicky gets a hold of a bomb and things go super kaboom yeah

we lost i could caught him we almost had the purse but then this giant explosion

wiped out the street in front of us explosion nicky explosion nicky any

connection maybe all right all right Back to business.

So who was looking to nicky your place?

You mentioned something about that cold court guy?

Yeah, local hood.

Been running off his corner drug dealers.

It's an excellent way to make friends.

Just trying to keep away from the kids.

This is like a job for VIP.

Don't you think?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on. I suck every dime I got into this gym. I'm sure I

can't afford you.

Oh, it's for the community.

We'll do it for free. Wow.

Remember at the Playboy Mansion, Hef wanted me to go, but I let you go and

went skinny smoking with all the playmates? Remember?

Come on.

Of course, given the important cause, our fee is negotiable.

Perhaps a lifetime company membership at the gym.

Sure, that'd be great.

I told you to pay card out.

It's not demolished the whole block.

It's a whole different block, Mr. C.

You morons!

Not only did you screw up, but you screwed up in the wrong place.

Sorry, boss.

I can't believe some actor brought maneuver to you like that.

We never even saw a heart.

It was a celebrity bodyguard's VIP.

VIP?

You're telling me VIP is on my turf?

What else are you going to tell me?

Do you want to hold my pet dog?

Some of my Imanis get shredded out at the cleaners?

Come on!

Before I crack your skulls open and show everyone how empty they are.

No, I think that's the worst of it, Mr. C.

You, get as far out of my sight as possible. Get out of here.

Okay, boss.

And you, get Rex Rebo on the phone.

Now!

Guess we'll be spending a lot of time together.

Yeah, for your safety, of course.

Great Valerie Irons. Must be an incredible physical condition.

Oh, yeah.

You can't get in this kind of shape and sit on a couch all day watching old

movies, eating popcorn and potato chips.

Great, then let's work out.

Come on. No, come on. You've got to love it. Come on, you've got to love it.

Come on, let's go.

I don't want to look like Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Don't worry, you won't.

Go more for the Jesse to body back to her to look.

Oh, stop your whining. Come on.

Three more.

Val really needs working out.

What?

Come on, guys. She's doing real good.

Val. Come on, you guys. I have to work out. You have to work out.

Lift up your chest.

And don't quit.

So tough.

Beautiful.

Got it?

Uh -huh.

Keep going.

Don't quit.

Go. Don't make me mad.

One. One.

Quick. You're not doing quick enough. Come on. Four.

One. Two.

One more. One.

Come on. Kill it. Two.

Three.

Badass. I can't smile.

These one hell of a coach.

I haven't worked out like that since Golden Gloves. I haven't worked out like

that since Boot Camp.

I haven't worked out like this since Special Ops Hell Week.

I haven't worked out like this since... Thanks, Cap.

I haven't worked out like this in... I've never worked out like that.

Isn't that Rex Riva?

Hey,

it's that guy from your movie.

Rex Riva?

What's he want?

Oh, he probably wants to congratulate you on your gym.

It's a lot bigger in real life, isn't it?

Boy, here Dave Hart is giving up the movie business and going back into

bodybuilding. Now he's built himself a gym.

What are you doing here, Revo?

Well, you see, this don't look like no gym to me. Looks like some kindergarten

playground. Man, look at these stupid chrome dumbbells. Get out of here, man.

It's okay, I'll handle it.

Boy, you're real tough, ain't you, Hart? Huh?

All those store openings and product endorsements you got because you're just

darn tough, right? What happened to you, Revo?

I knew you always a little tweaky. Why don't you go full out nuts?

Man, why don't you tell these people the real reason you're a movie career tank

brawler? Come on, tell them how you were so afraid of me you wouldn't even come

out of your trailer when I was around.

How you had to stab me in the back to make yourself seem like a bigger man.

Come on, Dave, you don't have to take that.

Tell them right now, heartless.

I'm going to show everybody up in here who really is the toughest.

It's only tougher than you in the movies.

I was Mike Brawler, not Dave Hart. Let me show you something.

Dave Hart says Rex Rebo ain't tough enough. Now, you see, Dave Hart said

Rebo, I'm not going to fight you. Now, get out of my gym.

Yeah, you better get out of here, or she's going to get mad.

Valerie Irons?

Wait a minute, Dave Hart is such a wimp that he needs bodyguards to protect him?

Nice talk, big fella, but I think your gym card just expired.

That's all right.

I'll be back, Hart. And either you fight me, or I'm going to rip this whole

place apart.

And not even the VIP can stop me.

Baby, baby.

Allow me to show you gentlemen to the door.

A street dealer within five blocks.

Even a side of Cadillac. Rex Revo is running from VIP.

Boys, we got a problem.

It's a lot bigger than Dave Hart.

It's hard to hook it up right this time. That's not funny.

Where'd you learn this stuff?

KGB? Deep cover ops?

Maybe. Always mysterious.

You guys must do this for a lot of big movie stars, huh?

It depends.

Sometimes it's more like following them around or having their back.

So, everything under control?

How's that X -47 doing up there? Is it okay? X -47?

Yeah, I hope I did the right thing.

Did you want the microwave model or the new infrared style?

Oh, come on, Tosh. I taught you to be a little more independent than that.

You figure it out for yourself while I go to the beach with the client.

Bye.

Well, wait a second, Val. I don't think it's safe for you two to be outside

alone.

Okay, I'll take some of Nikki's gun things.

Oh, everything will be fine. She's going to take some of Nikki's gun things.

Gun things.

Totally desperado.

I think it's great that you wouldn't

fight me, though.

Sorry, I forgot, but I kicked my butt.

Well, he's a lot bigger than you.

Used to be a cage fighter.

Look at that Roy Rage thing going on.

He's got two stunt people killed on a movie we're working on.

That's why I decided it was best just to stay away from him.

Steroids? Bad news.

I think maybe Tasha takes those every once in a while.

Stay away from her.

I try.

I'm going to need some paint to retouch a couple of places where I had to drill.

Dave's got it locked in the back room.

Look, I'll go get the key from him.

Stop that magazine article where you said you could beat Rebo up.

Studio publicists made up all that crap.

You told them to cut it out, but by that time it was too late.

What?

Well,

this guy hit the rock.

Oh, yes!

This way. No, no, this way, this way. Don't worry. I've got everything.

Okay,

follow me, follow me. Okay.

This way, this way.

Come on. Okay.

Oh, that'll be good.

That'll be good. Don't worry about it.

Use guns. The only guns I know how to use are these.

Get away from him!

This is your last chance.

Take a gun. Take a gun.

Okay.

I don't know how this works either.

All right.

Get up.

Val, you all right?

Welcome, Dano.

You guys are really connected with the cops.

Yeah, me and Gris were like this.

Nikki and Tasha, fill them in.

What's going on?

Oh, God, this is all my fault. I shouldn't have taken you to the beach.

Oh, my God.

How could they do this to you?

If Colcord's man was here to kill you, why bother with this?

This isn't Colcord's work.

This is Revo.

Looks like we're going to have to keep you under lock and key until you're safe

from Revo.

Well, we can't over here like a prisoner.

part of the bodyguard thing. You know, I've got to protect you. Just relax.

I really don't feel right leaving my gym.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Don't worry about it. I have those people that work

me. They can work your gym. Oh, hello there.

I know.

Can't you be shopping? Your credit card's maxed out. Oh, yeah, I'm sure

maxed. Well, if it isn't my brawler.

Dave, actually.

Hi, Dave.

Dave, Max, Max, Dave.

Nice to meet you.

Yeah, Max is terrific, isn't she?

I try.

You know what you're terrific at? You are terrific at making popcorn.

That new popcorn maker we have here, the kind of little one that you have to

wash for a million times and then it kind of burns.

We have an air popper, though.

No, we need butter, too. We've got to go to the store. Well, if you need popcorn

that badly.

Maybe you need a...

From distraction, maybe you want to watch TV or something, I'm sure.

Love boats on, maybe.

Police are still investigating the motive behind the violence here at Dave

Hart's gym. And in a bizarre twist of life imitating art, eyewitnesses report

seeing Rex Riva, who you may recall starred opposite Dave Hart in the Mike

Brawler films. Eyewitnesses reported seeing him right here at this gym

Now, allegedly, that's where he challenged Dave Hart.

to a fight. And now Live News 3 wants to know your opinion on the subject.

Dial one of the 900 numbers below to tell us who you think would win in a

-life brawl between Mike Brawler and Rex Rebo.

Oh, perhaps you can tell us. Is there going to be a fight, ma 'am?

Yeah, there's going to be a fight.

Guys, there's such a sick society and people can't tell the difference between

character in a movie and the actor who plays them. Tell me about it.

I don't want your popcorn, Mike. Dave! It's Dave.

Just breaking in some new muscle. Want to see how we do?

Man, no, no. Don't even pay him, man. He didn't even put up a decent fight.

I want a lot of people stupid enough to fight you, Wevo.

Dave Hart ain't stupid, but he'll fight.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Who said anything about Hart?

You didn't have to.

You think it's over with Hart?

You're wrong.

Look, I had my fun. You had yours. He's got no gym, no reputation.

Pretty soon McGinty's will be back to feed, and the neighborhood's safe again

for the poor, struggling drug dealers.

Hart will be back.

Look, Wevo.

VIP is there because of you. I could have chased him off before his damn gym

opened.

Now you listen to me.

I don't give a damn about your stupid drug dealer.

Hart's not going to hide behind VIP forever.

Now I'll make him come back.

And when he does, I'll be waiting on him.

What about VIP?

You keep them occupied.

I got a plan.

So what do you find?

The assassin on the dune buggy is Tony Griffley, a .k .a. Griff, a known

associate of Colcourt. But he's not saying anything to Detective Griffley.

have nothing on Colcourt. Not good.

But the dune buggy was rented with a credit card from a dummy corporation

just happened to own several warehouses right in Dave's neighborhood.

Just give me the addresses.

Nice work, Kay.

On Colcourt's hangout.

Hold on.

Looks like we might not even need to go there.

Julio, go home.

But I'm just trying to... Now!

Get going.

Does that car look familiar?

Any point in calling 911?

Something tells me we're not going to have time.

I really...

I don't like those guys.

Hey, kid, what do you want?

What do you want with me?

I want you to understand something, kid.

It's nothing personal. I just want heart.

And you're the way to get it.

We could.

Is Julio all right?

When he came out of the coma, he asked for you, Dave.

Are you going to be okay?

I'm going to be fine.

I'm going to be fine.

Julio.

Julio, Dave is here.

What happened?

I didn't want to take them.

They made me.

They held me down.

Who?

Where are you going?

You just get healthy.

I'll take care of this.

Dave, no.

Crap.

That's what he wants.

I know, and he's going to get it.

Oh, oh, not a good idea.

Wait, wait, Dave, you can't. You can't. You can't. No, you can't. I'm not going

to let you do it. I'm not going to let you do it. Look, I can call Detective

Grisby, and they'll put him in jail.

Until I kick his ass, they won't.

Don't make me use my martial arts skills on you.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Wait up.

I've got the keys to your car. You're trapped.

Dave? Dave?

You're pulled by blocks. Come on, you're not going to make it in this seat.

You're sweating.

You're going to shrink.

I'm not going to let you fight, Revo.

Twice your size.

Dave?

Come on, guys, let's hurry it up.

Come on, let's get the drugs out before this place is full of cops.

Bummer, isn't it?

We didn't want to wait for them either.

All right, all right, we don't want no trouble. Just relax, okay?

Relax.

Take cover!

These are the wrong boots to be chasing your ass down the road.

Excuse me.

I'm not going to let you fight, Revo.

Come on.

Don't let the jerk get away.

I got him.

This against Rebo.

Hey, hey, hey, hey. What are you doing? Watching too much TV or something?

Go back to your mother. No.

You'll need this against Rebo.

Drop it.

News Cam 3, coming to you guys live right now from Venice, where we have

breaking news. It is the fight of the century everybody has been waiting for.

We're talking the fight between Rex Revo and Mike Brawler. Now, everyone is

standing around anticipating this fight. Let's go to Brian now in sports. Brian,

what do you think Dave's chances are today?

Well, Shelly, Rex Revo definitely has the size and the reach, but Dave has

spirit, and you can never count that out.

Oh, my God.

I will take you down.

I'll make you pay!

Come on, brawler!

Okay, okay, stop.

There's not going to be a fight, okay? Just watch this. I'll take care of this.

But it's dumb.

Get out.

like a brawler movie.

Bring it on! Bring it on! Bring it on down!

No, it matches. It does. In kind of all big magic, mom -matching kind of way.

Thank you.

So what happened?

I bought Revo's place at the police auction. I got it on the first round,

one would even bid against me.

What are you going to do with it?

Some kind of new community center. I've been talking with the neighborhood

council.

Oh, I know what you can call it. Valerie Irons' Hard Body Gym.

No, she would use it to promote her hair and makeup line to impressionable

girls. No, not a good idea.

Huh, I have a great way to promote it.

Tasha and I fight to the death.

Now that would be the fight of the century.

Think you can take me?

All the guns I need are these.

Come on, just one round.

No, I was kidding, I was kidding.

Nikki,

Nikki, pull her up.