Original subtitles

It's great.

I don't know why every restaurant doesn't have an early bird special.

Yeah, um, are you sure we should be here? I mean, I have my own teeth. That

disqualify me.

Hey, uh, hey, you want to cause some trouble?

Bingo!

Man, it's taking the girls so long. I'm getting hungry. Yeah, I know. It's

almost 4 .30. We have to be asleep by 7.

This is just as boring as work.

There's no fires, no deaths. I swear, sometimes it feels like there's this

cloud hanging over my head.

I know what you mean. They give all the near fatalities to the experienced

doctors. I spend my day draining a quart of pasta out of some guy's ear.

I guess I'll skip the soup.

They can't pull me over. I didn't do anything.

Oh, it's the sobriety checkpoint.

Well, you haven't been drinking, so it's not a big deal. Unless you happen to

live in a democracy.

Oh, God, here we go. This is just like the time you got kicked off the plane

because you refused to put up your tray table.

That flight attendant was on a power trip. You made him cry.

Well, I don't believe in allowing my rights to be boot -stepped on.

Okay, okay, here's the plan. You don't speak English.

Coming, officer.

Hold on your window.

Look down, look down, look down. We have done nothing wrong.

I know. That's why I'm not telling you to unbutton your blouse.

Um, I can still see a little. Maybe you want to hit me with your pepper spray.

And that didn't get us off to a good start, did it?

So maybe you should have thought of that before you stopped me.

Is there a reason you didn't roll your window down?

A little thing called the Third Amendment.

The quartering of soldiers during peacetime?

Okay, fine. The Fourth Amendment.

And the handle knob is a little bit sticky.

Is she always like this?

You ladies haven't been drinking tonight, have you? None of your

Oh, no, no, no. She's always like this when she's sober.

She'd be all over you if she were drunk.

Yeah, well, I'll take your word for it.

So is there anything else, or do you want to drag me out of the car and beat

with your flashlight?

Well, there's what I'd like to do, and there's what they allow me to do.

You ladies have a good night.

How obnoxious.

But you are fun to shop with.

Hey, look, there's old Mr. Lockwood. He just retired from the carpet business.

Yeah, I think that's one of his old samples on top of his head.

Where'd you get that thing, anyway?

I bought it for my baby so we could record our first Christmas as husband

wife. Isn't that sweet?

How can you afford it?

Go on. Tell him, honey. Oh, I can't. I'm going to return it after the holidays.

Here's to having a pup.

All right. All right. That's enough. Get that thing away from me.

You can put it at me.

When you watch this later.

Put it to music.

Where was that camera when my constitutional rights were being

Ashley, Ashley, we are so sick and tired of hearing how you haven't had a date

in three months.

What are you talking about?

Oh, what are you talking about?

Where is your moral indignation, people?

Doesn't anyone even care that I was harassed and humiliated by the police?

We should send the cops a really nice fruit basket.

Why are you in such a mood?

Well, she took all the presents from Whoville, and yet they still keep

Okay, that's it. I'm out of here.

Oh, whoa, whoa, Ashley, you can't just leave like this.

Okay, well, thank you, Johnny. Yeah, that's right. You still have to put your

new shirt.

Fine. Here.

Oh, okay.

I don't know why I always have to play the cheapskate, but you forgot to pitch

in for the wine.

Why should I pay for the wine? I didn't even drink any. Yeah, you know what? And

I just burped up like half my carrots. Credit me 50 cents.

Fine. Here.

But I'm taking my share.

What's so funny?

I dated her, and now she's everybody's problem.

I knew I was here.

But it should go a different way.

Because I'm an American and I don't have to go a different way.

Wow. Stubborn and stupid.

Please tell me you're single.

Sorry, I don't date a man whose head is smaller than his neck.

Have you been drinking since the last time I saw you or is this just more of

your personality shining through?

Give me your license, please.

Why?

Oh, usual reason.

Want to see how much you weigh?

Oh, great.

Now you made me spill my wine.

And how have you been drinking that wine?

Not that I have to answer that, but no. My friends drank it. You expect me to

believe that?

You have friends.

Listen, officer, I haven't been... Get in the car, please, ma 'am.

This beef is tough.

Oh, this is beef?

That explains why I can't blow a bubble.

Okay, okay, okay, you ready? On the count of three.

One, two, three.

Hey, it's like eating with supermodels.

What's so funny?

If I reverse it, I can make the food go back in your mouth. Look in.

Hey,

I could do that with my belly button. You want to see?

John, Mr. Lockwood, is he choking?

Sharon, I'm the doctor, okay? That's the way old people breathe.

Oh, where is she going? This is so embarrassing.

Oh, my God, he really was choking.

Oh, that's Mr.

Lockwood. So I was right. The guy in the plaid wasn't choking.

Did you guys see that? Sharon just saved Mr. Lockwood's life. She's a hero.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let the professionals handle it. All right, people, there is

nothing to see here. Move along.

Okay, we blew it. Yeah.

Yeah, you know, if the guys at the fire station get wind of it... Well, the

hospital. Yeah.

You know, we would have looked a lot better if nobody saved us.

Fortunately, the quick reactions of Boston resident Sharon Donnelly saved

-year -old Lockwood as Boston firefighter Pete Dunville and Tufts

Hospital resident Michael Bergen sat watching.

Here's to having a pulse.

Lockwood's grandson is a station manager, so I gave them the tape. They

this great jacket. Check it out. I'm a citizen news hand.

Why'd you have to tell him I'm a doctor, Johnny? Why?

He said that's what made it a story. It's what they call a hook.

We are never going to live this down. Oh, relax.

Nobody even noticed you. They were all looking at my Sharon because she is a

hero. Oh, Johnny, come on. I'm not a hero.

I'm a heroine.

How do they know that you saved him? You know, he's on a fixed income. He could

have just been trying to get out of the check.

Okay, guys, come on. You're going to have plenty of opportunity to save

Yeah, but on television?

Maybe you could start saving lives in community theater, and then just work

way up.

Hello? Oh, hey, Ash.

Hey, Sharon. I was wondering if you could help me out.

Oh, what was that? You need help?

Lucky you didn't call Peter Berg.

I need you to feed my fish and pick up my mail and water my plants.

Ash, uh, that sounds like something for a maid, and frankly, I'm a...

Well, I had a good day, too. I found out that I'm worth more on the street than

I am at the hospital.

You can't silence me.

You can bind my hands. You can shackle my feet. But I will be heard.

I bet you'd like to throw the switch right about now.

Sharon, what are you doing here? Oh, here. I came to get you out. I have your

release papers.

No. No, I am not leaving.

I'm staying until my arraignment tomorrow to prove my point.

But, okay, those weren't just your papers. My parking validation was in

Sharon, I'm sorry, but I'm standing up for something here, and it's not just

We are prisoners of conscience.

You know what?

I am going to call Amnesty International. That's who I'm going to

Good. Order me some curly fries.

Ash, please.

Come on home. You know, you can get some rest there, and then you can shower

before court tomorrow.

No, Sharon.

Freedom never rests.

Truth doesn't shower.

Can I just ask you something?

How did you not pass the sobriety test?

I exercise my rights, and I refuse to take it.

Your rights are what, be stupid?

Sharon, I don't expect you to understand, and you're free to think

stupid, but without my principles, what am I?

I'm just... Some middle class do -nothing who'd rather go along with the

than stand up for what she believes in.

So, I do appreciate your concern, but I'm not afraid to spend the night in

to get my day in court.

Wow. And I was proud of myself for recycling.

Well, that's just how we're different.

Yeah. Yeah.

So proud of you. You know what? I'm going to be there with you in court

tomorrow. Thank you. Okay.

All right.

You should be ashamed of yourself.

How long do we have to sit here and wait for somebody to choke?

I mean...

It's like expecting lightning to strike twice. Give it time.

Good afternoon, ma 'am.

Hi. Try the pot roast.

What was that?

It's just a cough. Stand down.

Guys, maybe we should try someplace a little more dangerous.

Hey, there's an air show in town. They're always having crashes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll bring our spatula.

It's finals time at Harvard. I say we go and hang out under one of the dorm

windows.

I don't want to save one of those guys.

Hey, look, maybe we can go watch Johnny's hockey game. You guys still

before those, right?

Sorry, no games for a couple of weeks yet. Ice hasn't thickened yet.

Kids have been falling through all week.

The lake!

The lake!

Come on, quick! We're kicking the ball through without us!

That's a nice coat. Thanks.

My Nana got it for me last Christmas. That's nice. Is it warm? Yeah, it's

reversible, too.

Hey, let's go save a life.

Next case, 14557 Commonwealth of Massachusetts versus Ashley Walker

on the charge of operating a motor vehicle under the influence. How do you

plead? Your Honor,

Grandfathers laid down their lives so we could enjoy freedom from government

intrusion. And this, I think you... I'm sorry.

I really hate to interrupt.

Could you approach the bench, please?

Now look, I am fighting a major headache here.

So I'm going to try to save us both some time.

Now this hearing is really a formality. Oh. Yeah.

You plead guilty, and I sentence you to six months of substance abuse classes.

Understood? Yeah. Okay.

I think I can handle it from here.

Go back.

Ms.

Walker, how do you plead?

Not guilty.

Please.

Yes, you. Thank you.

You know, I... I really don't think you're getting quite how this goes.

Oh, yeah, I do.

I am a victim of the system.

And I am not going to admit to something I didn't do.

So, if it pleases the court, I would now like to present my

first witness.

Uh, bailiffs?

Aspirin? Oh, oh, here.

Here, I've got some, Your Honor. Right here.

Uh, yeah.

I was with the perp on the night in question.

And I can say unequivocally that she was not drinking.

Oh, that's interesting, because according to the report, she was in the

alone.

Yeah, well, I don't know what she was doing in the car.

So she could have been drinking when you weren't around.

You know, she could have. She did have an open bottle.

Exactly. Oh, you are good.

Your Honor, there is a basic right to travel freely in this country without

being harassed by the police. Yes, kind of like the basic right not to have your

luggage searched while at the airport.

Exactly. No.

Look, look, Miss Walker, I am trying to save you from a prison sentence here,

which is exactly what you get if you insist on going any further with this

matter.

happened to innocent until proven guilty.

Look, checkpoints have been proven constitutional.

Now, as much as I would like to be in the Supreme Court, the president wants

here.

Just in case somebody shoplifts a chocolate bar.

So, you plead guilty to having a problem with alcohol, and I will sentence you

to a treatment program.

Or you can go to trial and possibly serve six months to a year in jail.

Now, what were you saying?

Well, if you would let me get a word in.

I was going to say.

My name is Ashley, and I am an alcoholic.

Great, there's no kids here.

Look, look, some do -gooder put up a sign to warn the kids.

Let's rip it down and throw it behind that line. You bet.

Guys, guys, guys.

Come on, it's getting cold. Let's go.

No, no, come on, Johnny. We can't go home. That's got to be something we can

Hey, you're a big guy. Go out onto the ice.

Oh, oh, oh, good idea, good idea, okay? Here's the plan, all right? When Johnny

falls in, I'm going to pull him out, okay? And you're going to wrap him in a

blanket. Oh, great, so you're the hero and I'm what, the stewardess?

Forget about it.

There's no way you're getting me out there on that ice.

Great, all your wallet's out there.

All right, I need a stick.

I don't think a stick's going to reach that. No, it's to beat Pete.

Come on, Johnny. Got two professional lifesavers here to save you. It's gonna

fun. Now get the camera to Burke.

Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm not holding the camera. You're holding the

camera, Buck. I'm not holding the camera.

Give the camera to one of the kids.

What are you, new? The kids aren't gonna take the camera. The kids won't even

know how to work the camera. This is a highly technical piece of equipment, you

guys. Are you listening?

Holy crap, there's kids on the ice.

This isn't right. This isn't a good idea.

You're right. There's like a bunch of them, and we only have one blanket.

Check it out. I found a wallet.

Come on, kids. Get off the ice. Yeah, give me back my wallet.

Lick my skates.

Nice mouth for a hockey player.

Hey, hey, kids. All right, come on. Get off the ice, all right? It isn't safe.

Yeah? Well, I'm pretty sure it's a lot safer than hanging out with three old

creeps and a video camera.

Okay, I got my eye on you, 31.

Did you hear that?

Was that the eye?

I know, but you can't expect him to send in a minute drunk out on the highway.

Miss Walker?

You're late. The trial's over.

You'll be happy to know he suspended my driver's license.

Well, actually, I was hoping to get your phone number and maybe take you out to

dinner sometime.

obnoxious and has nothing but contempt for you.

Well, what repels me as a cop attracts me as a man.

Man, do you so not know how to read a situation.

Okay, the top number is my home phone number, and if you can't reach me there,

there's my cell phone and my pager.

All right, okay.

And if you get bored later, I'll be at my checkpoint.

I'll bring the wine.

What?

What? After everything that he put you through, you're going out on a date with

him?

Sharon, I just got sprung from the slammer. Can't a girl get a little

for the two men, the quick -thinking children formed a human chain of life

pulled them out of the icy waters to safety.

Come on, you, the big one, use your bat!

Ironically, the two men are both professional lifesavers, Dr. Michael

Fireman Pete Dunkirk.

What? Dunkirk?

It's Dunville, you idiot!

I am calling that station.

You pointed at me. I assure you, general viewer, there are no special effects,

no trick photography. I am, in fact, this handsome.

How do I know you?

You had a little piece of lettuce right here. I know, I

know. It's right there. I just wanted to go F -O -F.

You got that?

You're doing great.

Yeah, thanks.