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1
00:00:09,960 --> 00:00:11,620
Watch it! That's my spleen!
2
00:00:13,940 --> 00:00:15,560
Can't you be furious just for one?
3
00:00:15,980 --> 00:00:19,920
Ironic, isn't it, Kamen? You and I,
archenemies, assigned to the Mord
4
00:00:19,920 --> 00:00:20,920
on Halloween?
5
00:00:22,060 --> 00:00:23,060
Kinda spooky.
6
00:00:28,980 --> 00:00:31,700
Well, that worked out well.
7
00:00:34,020 --> 00:00:36,800
Will you quit it, Berg? You're not
freaking me out.
8
00:00:45,930 --> 00:00:46,930
Hey, hey, whoa.
9
00:00:47,250 --> 00:00:48,470
Easy there, huh?
10
00:00:49,870 --> 00:00:51,110
Lighten up. It's Halloween.
11
00:00:52,810 --> 00:00:57,930
Listen, uh, my roommate and I, we're
having this big party tonight, so why
12
00:00:57,930 --> 00:00:58,669
you come by, huh?
13
00:00:58,670 --> 00:01:00,170
Yeah, like I'm gonna party down with
you.
14
00:01:01,130 --> 00:01:02,350
Cayman, come on.
15
00:01:02,670 --> 00:01:04,870
Put our differences behind us, you know?
16
00:01:05,310 --> 00:01:07,750
Bury the hatchet. Never. In a million
years.
17
00:01:08,170 --> 00:01:09,870
In a trillion million years.
18
00:01:11,330 --> 00:01:12,330
Hey, well, hey.
19
00:01:12,590 --> 00:01:13,950
Okay. Suit yourself.
20
00:01:14,650 --> 00:01:17,290
While others are having fun, you're
going to be alone in the morgue on
21
00:01:17,290 --> 00:01:18,670
Halloween.
22
00:01:57,130 --> 00:01:58,190
You're not scaring me.
23
00:02:03,330 --> 00:02:04,330
Berg,
24
00:02:08,110 --> 00:02:09,810
you scared me half to death.
25
00:02:10,449 --> 00:02:12,070
Let me take care of the other half.
26
00:02:13,230 --> 00:02:14,230
Yeah,
27
00:02:15,470 --> 00:02:17,190
very funny with the rubber blade.
28
00:02:18,730 --> 00:02:19,730
Wow.
29
00:02:20,190 --> 00:02:22,010
How'd you do that fake blood?
30
00:02:31,240 --> 00:02:32,240
your party.
31
00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:38,680
Again with the well -timed lightning.
32
00:03:23,080 --> 00:03:24,700
Yes, we'll try to keep the noise down.
33
00:03:24,940 --> 00:03:27,900
Yeah, I understand your dog has
sensitive hearing.
34
00:03:28,920 --> 00:03:29,920
He's a dog.
35
00:03:31,160 --> 00:03:32,160
No!
36
00:03:33,040 --> 00:03:34,260
Watch it! Sorry.
37
00:03:34,520 --> 00:03:35,520
You're not sorry.
38
00:03:35,600 --> 00:03:38,760
I am. I'm sorry you didn't wear a
costume you can walk in.
39
00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:43,460
Yeah, and I'm sorry you didn't dress in
the costume I bought you. If you were a
40
00:03:43,460 --> 00:03:46,500
fisherman, at least we'd go together. I
wanted to be a cowboy.
41
00:03:48,480 --> 00:03:50,840
But I was supposed to be your catch of
the day.
42
00:03:51,260 --> 00:03:54,890
We're at a cow... boy find a mermaid?
Where would anybody find a mermaid?
43
00:03:56,410 --> 00:03:58,750
Forget it. Just drop me near the keg.
44
00:04:03,710 --> 00:04:04,710
Hey, Johnny.
45
00:04:05,070 --> 00:04:06,170
Hey, Jack.
46
00:04:06,610 --> 00:04:07,610
Hey.
47
00:04:07,930 --> 00:04:08,970
Nice costume.
48
00:04:09,530 --> 00:04:12,590
Oh, thanks. How do you pee in that
thing? Out of a window on the 42nd
49
00:04:13,150 --> 00:04:14,150
No.
50
00:04:16,610 --> 00:04:18,329
I think the keg's running low.
51
00:04:18,550 --> 00:04:20,209
Oh, it's all part of my evil plan. What?
52
00:04:20,519 --> 00:04:22,320
to ruin your own Halloween party?
53
00:04:24,060 --> 00:04:25,260
Fiendish. No.
54
00:04:28,860 --> 00:04:30,880
You know how Berg pulls a Halloween
prank on me every year?
55
00:04:31,240 --> 00:04:33,940
You mean like the time he made you think
you were shrinking?
56
00:04:35,800 --> 00:04:36,980
They were big shoes.
57
00:04:37,720 --> 00:04:39,200
I would have fooled anybody.
58
00:04:39,760 --> 00:04:40,980
And a big hat.
59
00:04:42,960 --> 00:04:47,300
Okay, okay. Well, this year, I rigged a
keg over at the pizza place. When Berg
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00:04:47,300 --> 00:04:50,040
picks it up, it's going to be buried in
a... Bucket of cornflakes.
61
00:04:54,180 --> 00:04:56,580
And the huge jacket with the long
sleeves.
62
00:04:59,760 --> 00:05:03,500
Yeah, that was funny. That was funny.
Yeah, where's Johnny? Because I'm
63
00:05:03,500 --> 00:05:05,820
for a fisherman, but I don't see one
anywhere.
64
00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:07,640
Shut up.
65
00:05:07,680 --> 00:05:09,300
Just get me to the chips.
66
00:05:09,620 --> 00:05:10,620
All right.
67
00:05:10,940 --> 00:05:12,440
Come on. Hop on, flipper.
68
00:05:18,320 --> 00:05:19,320
you and Johnny are doing.
69
00:05:19,700 --> 00:05:23,800
It's like that episode of Bonanza where
little Joe goes to the well and he falls
70
00:05:23,800 --> 00:05:24,800
in love with the mermaid.
71
00:05:27,080 --> 00:05:28,900
Sharon, I want to be a cowboy.
72
00:05:29,220 --> 00:05:30,220
Stupid Johnny.
73
00:05:33,220 --> 00:05:34,139
Hey, Pete.
74
00:05:34,140 --> 00:05:35,720
Where's the beer?
75
00:05:36,060 --> 00:05:39,360
The keg on the counter, remember? I
specifically asked you to pick it up.
76
00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:43,220
yeah, you know, I got hung up at the
hospital. We had this unexpected
77
00:05:43,660 --> 00:05:44,660
D .O .A.
78
00:05:46,410 --> 00:05:48,370
You still had enough time to get into
costume.
79
00:05:48,950 --> 00:05:49,950
What do you mean?
80
00:05:50,230 --> 00:05:51,430
It's not bad, though.
81
00:05:51,710 --> 00:05:53,610
Looks a little thick to be real blood.
82
00:05:54,010 --> 00:05:55,010
What'd you use, ketchup?
83
00:06:00,250 --> 00:06:01,650
Yeah, it's getting a little crusty.
84
00:06:03,550 --> 00:06:04,810
Might want to add some fresh blood.
85
00:06:06,050 --> 00:06:07,190
That's a good idea.
86
00:06:08,230 --> 00:06:09,230
Nice hat.
87
00:06:09,850 --> 00:06:10,850
No.
88
00:06:12,710 --> 00:06:15,290
Hey, Boog the Butcher. Who cost you?
89
00:06:15,600 --> 00:06:16,680
I'm sorry, butcher?
90
00:06:17,420 --> 00:06:18,840
What the hell is wrong with you, huh?
91
00:06:19,240 --> 00:06:22,680
Can't you tell the difference between
animal blood and human blood, you
92
00:06:22,680 --> 00:06:23,680
imbecile?
93
00:06:25,980 --> 00:06:26,980
You're out of beer.
94
00:06:28,280 --> 00:06:30,740
Oh, gosh, we're out of beer. I got an
idea.
95
00:06:31,020 --> 00:06:34,040
Why don't you go over to the pizza place
and get the cake there?
96
00:06:34,380 --> 00:06:36,980
Yeah. Why don't you take Calamity Johnny
with you?
97
00:06:37,540 --> 00:06:40,160
Oh, right. That's a great idea.
98
00:06:40,740 --> 00:06:41,980
I'll take Johnny.
99
00:06:43,980 --> 00:06:45,700
It'll give me a chance to work on my
costume.
100
00:06:54,200 --> 00:06:55,460
How'd you get the beer without the cork?
101
00:06:56,060 --> 00:06:57,200
You didn't even get the keg.
102
00:06:57,480 --> 00:06:59,300
Oh, yeah, the beer. I forgot.
103
00:07:01,520 --> 00:07:04,380
Berg, look, if this is one of your
pranks, I'm going to kill you.
104
00:07:12,620 --> 00:07:13,620
Not coming back.
105
00:07:14,640 --> 00:07:17,060
He blew me off because of one little
fight?
106
00:07:17,700 --> 00:07:19,200
He can go rot in hell.
107
00:07:19,620 --> 00:07:22,180
Or in a dumpster behind the Dairy Queen.
108
00:07:24,240 --> 00:07:25,880
Pete, punch bowl.
109
00:07:26,200 --> 00:07:27,400
Oh, buddy, come on.
110
00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:29,080
Cart's taken. Beat it.
111
00:07:31,140 --> 00:07:32,140
Hey, Bert.
112
00:07:32,740 --> 00:07:34,020
Oh, Ashley.
113
00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:36,460
It's good to have some fresh meat at the
party.
114
00:07:38,730 --> 00:07:39,349
I was really surprised.
115
00:07:39,350 --> 00:07:42,450
I was sure I'd be here at least a minute
before you offended me.
116
00:07:43,130 --> 00:07:47,090
No, no, no, no. I'm afraid that you're
taking fresh meat the wrong way.
117
00:07:48,730 --> 00:07:52,630
Look, Berg, I came here to have fun, but
if you try any more of your stupid come
118
00:07:52,630 --> 00:07:57,070
-on lines, like how you'd like to thaw
me out or show me how you raise your
119
00:07:57,070 --> 00:08:00,450
Titanic, I'm going to have to leave.
120
00:08:01,330 --> 00:08:04,890
Trust me, you are not going to leave a
killer party like this.
121
00:08:06,450 --> 00:08:07,610
Oh, I'm not?
122
00:08:07,960 --> 00:08:10,260
No, you're not.
123
00:08:11,500 --> 00:08:16,240
Wow, there's something different about
you, Berg. Something intense.
124
00:08:17,700 --> 00:08:18,700
Well, what do you think?
125
00:08:19,440 --> 00:08:20,520
I like it.
126
00:08:21,980 --> 00:08:26,480
May I say that you make a wonderful
victim.
127
00:08:27,400 --> 00:08:28,480
Well, thank you.
128
00:08:30,020 --> 00:08:31,540
All right, who's the tenant here?
129
00:08:31,800 --> 00:08:33,000
We'll finish this later.
130
00:08:34,830 --> 00:08:35,830
Is there a problem, officer?
131
00:08:36,110 --> 00:08:38,610
Yes, there is. There have been some
complaints about the noise. You want to
132
00:08:38,610 --> 00:08:42,429
it down? You got it, officer. I'll turn
down the music and dispose of some of
133
00:08:42,429 --> 00:08:43,429
the gas.
134
00:08:44,270 --> 00:08:45,850
Nice costume.
135
00:08:46,070 --> 00:08:47,590
It's really realistic -looking blood.
136
00:08:47,910 --> 00:08:50,690
Well, thank you. But I didn't do it
myself.
137
00:08:51,310 --> 00:08:52,630
A lot of people helped.
138
00:08:54,430 --> 00:08:56,850
Pete, the cop, they want us to keep the
music down.
139
00:08:57,090 --> 00:08:58,090
Oh, jeez.
140
00:08:59,310 --> 00:09:00,730
Oh, all right.
141
00:09:01,090 --> 00:09:02,310
Yeah, you got me.
142
00:09:04,840 --> 00:09:06,020
So this is your big prank?
143
00:09:06,520 --> 00:09:07,520
Uh, no.
144
00:09:07,600 --> 00:09:09,820
No, he's real. Mm, he looks real, too.
145
00:09:10,180 --> 00:09:11,180
Ooh!
146
00:09:12,580 --> 00:09:18,100
Big badge, big nightstick, right down to
the fake spare tire from all those
147
00:09:18,100 --> 00:09:19,100
donuts.
148
00:09:20,220 --> 00:09:23,240
I told you I'd call the police if you
didn't keep it down.
149
00:09:24,080 --> 00:09:25,200
This is Himmelfar.
150
00:09:26,780 --> 00:09:27,900
Oh, my God.
151
00:09:37,480 --> 00:09:40,800
Maybe you'd like to come downtown, spend
the night in our fake jail, and be the
152
00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:42,320
fake wife of your cellmate.
153
00:09:45,540 --> 00:09:49,240
I'm sorry about my friend, officer.
We'll keep it down. You better.
154
00:09:50,860 --> 00:09:52,260
You're a good kid. You!
155
00:09:56,460 --> 00:10:00,900
gonna have to have a little talk with
that mrs himmelbach forget her party's
156
00:10:00,900 --> 00:10:04,500
falling apart like people are leaving
would you go get the beer i have a lot
157
00:10:04,500 --> 00:10:09,540
do all right what you think just killing
sprees just happened oh okay all right
158
00:10:09,540 --> 00:10:15,220
you know what i i give up i'm just gonna
get the beer myself well you know what
159
00:10:15,220 --> 00:10:19,720
bird if you were trying to pull a prank
on me i'd fall for it because that's the
160
00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:22,500
kind of friend i am i need this
161
00:10:25,260 --> 00:10:27,240
So when am I going to get the tour of
the place?
162
00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:31,860
I'll show you around, but I got to warn
you, my bedroom is a bloody mess.
163
00:10:33,380 --> 00:10:34,400
I've been warned.
164
00:10:35,380 --> 00:10:36,800
Okay, let's go then.
165
00:11:23,210 --> 00:11:24,490
You scared me half to death.
166
00:11:25,470 --> 00:11:27,330
All right, what's supposed to happen?
167
00:11:27,570 --> 00:11:28,570
What?
168
00:11:29,290 --> 00:11:32,530
What, I start to untie you and a bucket
of cornflakes fall on my head?
169
00:11:34,070 --> 00:11:36,150
I don't know how you did it.
170
00:11:36,630 --> 00:11:39,150
But you know what? I'm not falling for
it. Have fun getting out of this one,
171
00:11:39,210 --> 00:11:40,210
Houdini.
172
00:11:45,870 --> 00:11:46,870
Bacon straight pizza.
173
00:11:48,830 --> 00:11:49,830
Who's this?
174
00:11:58,760 --> 00:11:59,760
Yeah, yeah, I'm still here.
175
00:12:00,620 --> 00:12:02,860
Did you get my little gift wrap present?
176
00:12:05,780 --> 00:12:06,780
Who are you?
177
00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:11,380
Oh, no, just your average, mentally
deranged, homicidal imposter. Listen.
178
00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:16,540
Can you grab me some celery stick? I
feel like a bloody Mary.
179
00:12:19,880 --> 00:12:21,140
And a bloody Sharon.
180
00:12:41,320 --> 00:12:42,500
I thought it was part of your Halloween
prank.
181
00:12:42,760 --> 00:12:46,240
No, no, that wasn't my prank. This was
my prank.
182
00:12:50,040 --> 00:12:51,100
That was your prank?
183
00:12:51,480 --> 00:12:54,460
Yeah. I was going to hang it over your
bed. Can you imagine?
184
00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:08,040
I've been busy, okay?
185
00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:15,000
Some guy jumps out, hits me on the head,
and he looks just like me.
186
00:13:15,520 --> 00:13:17,420
I never realized how dashing I am.
187
00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:21,980
That guy's been pretending to be you at
the party. I've never seen my profile
188
00:13:21,980 --> 00:13:24,140
before. I should be on a coin.
189
00:13:26,540 --> 00:13:27,600
Berg, we've got to warn everybody.
190
00:13:30,160 --> 00:13:32,840
Hello? Sharon, you have to get everybody
out of the apartment.
191
00:13:33,460 --> 00:13:36,440
You already took care of that. Your plan
to run out of beer worked.
192
00:13:37,680 --> 00:13:40,040
Is Berg still there?
193
00:13:41,740 --> 00:13:42,740
to have a little chat with Mrs.
194
00:13:42,940 --> 00:13:43,940
Hemmelfarb.
195
00:13:45,440 --> 00:13:46,440
Oh, here he is.
196
00:13:46,600 --> 00:13:47,600
Hi, Burke.
197
00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:56,840
Sharon, you have to get down to the
pizza place now, all right? And stay
198
00:13:56,840 --> 00:13:57,840
from Burke.
199
00:13:58,360 --> 00:14:00,000
Me and Burke will be waiting for you
here.
200
00:14:01,340 --> 00:14:05,420
I got a better idea. Why don't you get
away from your Burke and me and my Burke
201
00:14:05,420 --> 00:14:06,440
will be waiting for you.
202
00:14:07,400 --> 00:14:08,400
Not listening.
203
00:14:09,080 --> 00:14:11,340
Sharon, listen to me, okay? This is
Burke. That's not me.
204
00:14:14,600 --> 00:14:15,600
good impression of Berg.
205
00:14:16,300 --> 00:14:17,500
Do me, do me.
206
00:14:19,040 --> 00:14:23,420
Sharon, listen to me, okay? This is
Berg. That guy's an imposter. Okay,
207
00:14:23,420 --> 00:14:27,120
believe you. Sharon, there's something
I've got to tell you about Berg. What?
208
00:14:27,380 --> 00:14:29,360
He's going to make a lousy doctor.
209
00:14:49,740 --> 00:14:50,740
All right, the police are on their way.
210
00:14:55,700 --> 00:14:57,940
Okay, it's Sharon. It's Sharon. It's
Sharon. It's Sharon.
211
00:14:59,680 --> 00:15:03,080
What took you so long?
212
00:15:04,160 --> 00:15:05,160
Hello?
213
00:15:06,300 --> 00:15:10,540
You guys, this is worse than we thought.
The guy in the apartment is a killer.
214
00:15:10,800 --> 00:15:11,800
A killer? Yes.
215
00:15:11,960 --> 00:15:14,040
Berg, I've got bad news for you.
216
00:15:18,560 --> 00:15:19,560
Ashley. dead.
217
00:15:20,730 --> 00:15:21,730
You're kidding.
218
00:15:22,950 --> 00:15:24,190
She came to the party?
219
00:15:27,850 --> 00:15:29,590
Pete, she came to the party!
220
00:15:31,130 --> 00:15:33,390
Maybe it didn't hear me. She's dead.
221
00:15:33,970 --> 00:15:35,610
Still, I consider it a minor victory.
222
00:15:37,890 --> 00:15:38,890
Oh,
223
00:15:39,790 --> 00:15:41,090
wait, wait, calm down. It's just the
cops.
224
00:15:57,200 --> 00:15:58,079
in place.
225
00:15:58,080 --> 00:15:59,160
Hey, well, that's pretty good.
226
00:16:01,080 --> 00:16:03,100
How'd you do it with the rigging? I put
the rope around.
227
00:16:55,600 --> 00:17:00,200
really sorry about the misunderstanding
earlier. I thought that my friend here
228
00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:03,100
was using you to pull a prank on us.
229
00:17:05,060 --> 00:17:07,319
But anyways, Evil Twin's outside and
he's trying to kill us.
230
00:17:08,680 --> 00:17:10,300
We have the same dashing profile.
231
00:17:10,640 --> 00:17:12,359
I ought to run the three of you in.
232
00:17:12,640 --> 00:17:14,980
But lucky for you, I retire at midnight.
233
00:17:15,380 --> 00:17:19,500
I don't want to spend the last hour of a
26 -year career filling out paperwork.
234
00:17:20,260 --> 00:17:24,079
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm late for
my retirement party.
235
00:17:26,060 --> 00:17:27,060
Well, he's dead.
236
00:17:30,980 --> 00:17:32,240
My God!
237
00:17:33,460 --> 00:17:35,620
I just cleaned that window this morning.
238
00:17:36,600 --> 00:17:39,720
Where are you going? I've got to help
him. I'm a doctor. You're not a doctor.
239
00:17:39,900 --> 00:17:41,560
Then you go. You're close enough.
240
00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:44,320
No, no, no. All right, all right, all
right.
241
00:17:44,600 --> 00:17:46,680
Come on. We've got to get a hold of
ourselves. Just calm down.
242
00:17:47,280 --> 00:17:48,259
Calm down.
243
00:17:48,260 --> 00:17:49,920
All right, let's put some music on.
244
00:18:08,640 --> 00:18:12,600
poor guy look on the bright side I
didn't blow you off
245
00:18:28,650 --> 00:18:31,370
killer. He's still out there. We should
barricade the door. Yes, yes, yes.
246
00:18:32,290 --> 00:18:34,790
I just thought of something. What if
that's not the real Berg?
247
00:18:35,590 --> 00:18:38,690
Oh, then we'd be barricading ourselves
in with the killer.
248
00:18:39,370 --> 00:18:40,370
That's not good.
249
00:18:41,710 --> 00:18:46,270
Um, um, uh, Berg, uh, you remember last
week when we were sitting around the
250
00:18:46,270 --> 00:18:49,750
kitchen table talking, uh, if you were
an appliance, what appliance would you
251
00:18:49,750 --> 00:18:50,870
be? What did you say?
252
00:19:34,130 --> 00:19:36,590
No, no, no. He'll never find it. It's
behind some boxes.
253
00:19:36,870 --> 00:19:39,530
Okay, you go help Pete. I'll stay here
kicking the psycho bird.
254
00:19:41,510 --> 00:19:42,510
No, Sharon!
255
00:19:42,650 --> 00:19:43,650
He escaped!
256
00:19:43,850 --> 00:19:46,450
No! No, it's me. I came to help you find
the rope.
257
00:19:46,830 --> 00:19:47,830
Oh, yeah?
258
00:19:47,970 --> 00:19:49,790
Then what appliance would you want to
be?
259
00:19:51,330 --> 00:19:52,330
Toaster oven.
260
00:20:36,750 --> 00:20:37,970
Talk about killing psycho birds.
261
00:20:40,370 --> 00:20:41,370
I'll cut you some slack.
262
00:21:42,570 --> 00:21:46,010
And now, some scenes from next week's
episode of Two Guys, a Girl, and a Pizza
263
00:21:46,010 --> 00:21:47,010
Plate.
19970
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