Original subtitles

Oh. This is a story about a guy named Al, and he lived in a sewer with his

hamster pal, but the sanitation workers really didn't approve, so he packed up

his accordion and had to move to a city in Ohio where he lived in a tree, and he

worked in a nasal decongestant factory, and he played on the company bowling

team, and every single night he had a strange recurring dream where he was

wearing leader holes and in a vat of sour cream, but that's really not

in the story.

Well, the very next year he met a dental hygienist with a special attitude on

her arm, but he didn't even touch any walls or a number, then he got a public

job on a tater tot farm, and he said, Outro

Music

Today's lesson is, when faced with a problem, use your creativity and

imagination to help you solve it.

Oh man, that was great.

Oh, hey everybody, how you doing?

Harvey and I are just getting back from CaveCon 3, the annual cave dwellers

convention. We had a blast, didn't we, pals?

I got to meet a bunch of my fellow cave dwellers, and you know, they're really

cool people.

I guess I got a little carried away. I mean, I had to brag that I have my own

show, right?

I told them how great it is and everything, and you know what?

A lot of them didn't believe me.

So I told them to just go home and watch for themselves.

So to all my brand -new conventioneer friends out there, look, it's me, Al!

I'm on TV!

Oh, and I got tons of cool souvenirs. Check this out.

Oh, this is my favorite. This is a picture of Melvin Troglovich, the very

cave dweller ever to befriend and domesticate a hamster.

This baby's going right over my... Hey, where's my table?

And my lava lamp collection.

And my eyeball chair.

Oh, no, this is terrible.

Harvey, I hate to say it, but I think we've been robbed.

Oh, I can't believe this. Oh, they got my home entertainment center and my

phone. And my perfectly preserved wad of Dustin Hoffman's earwax. Oh,

no, no, no, not my Hawaiian shirt.

Oh, Harvey,

you don't think they took...

Sacred. Oh, Harvey, look, they stripped your stunt car.

Oh, yeah, they got your stereo.

And all your Sheryl Crow tapes. Oh, man.

Welcome back, neighbor.

I saved your newspapers.

Say, what's going on here? A little spring cleaning?

Where's all your furniture?

I've been robbed.

What?

No, that can't be.

I kept an eye on the place the whole time.

Well, there was that one little dental appointment.

Yeah, well, while your one little cavity was being filled, my entire cave was

being emptied. So now I've got a show to do and nothing to do it with.

Oh, Al, I am sorry. I feel partly responsible.

Oh, that's all right. Dental hygiene is very important.

But what am I going to do?

Well, you'll have to be creative.

In the meantime, I'll just go back to the hood cave and put out an APB on the

Avenger crime hotline.

The least I could do is set the wheels of justice in motion.

All right, well, see you later.

Oh, this stinks.

All my new friends from the convention are watching.

But without my stuff, what am I?

Just another cave -dwelling, accordion -playing, hamster -loving TV show host.

What a cliche.

I've got nothing to entertain you with.

Well, except this piece of paper.

Okay, well, I'll do an origami trick for you, and that's it.

Barking poodle.

Woof! Woof!

Woof! Woof!

Okay, that was kind of pathetic.

Look, I just want all my new cave dweller pals out there to know that this

like my normal show.

Usually I do really fun stuff like... My nutrition break!

Oh!

They even raided the icebox! This is too much!

Great. Nothing like an overachieving burglar.

Hey, what's this?

Mmm, moldy pita bread.

Well, this should hit the spot.

Hey, would you look at that?

Those wacky bacteria have built an entire metropolis. Look, there's a dry

cleaners and a mall and a video store. Wait a minute.

Can I destroy an entire microscopically advanced civilization just to feed my

face?

Yeah, I guess so.

Moldy, good.

Okay, what can we do now?

Hey, why don't we go... Oh, wait, we can't do that.

All right, then why don't we... I can't do that either.

Well, we could, uh...

We could talk to my old friend, Rita the Peeta.

How you doing, Rita?

Just fine, Al.

Well,

Rita, why don't we... Forget it.

How can I do a really great show when I don't have any of my stuff?

This is awful.

I feel worse than I did the time someone stuck a crazed weasel in my pants.

Hey, you letting the little robbery get you down?

Don't be a crybaby.

Get creative.

How about a wrestling match? What do you say?

Come on. You want to wrestle? Yeah. You want to wrestle, Mr. Man? Yeah. You

don't even know what you're in for. You are the world to hurt, my friend. Oh,

really? That's right. Come on. Bring it on. Yeah, that's right. You are going to

get it now. You, my friend, have finally met your match.

All right, Harvey.

Go get him.

Go.

Careful, man. You're hurting him.

Cut it out.

Hey, go easy.

Stop it. He can't take anymore.

Okay, okay. That's enough.

Get him off me. Get him off me.

Okay, Harvey. I think Mr. Savage has had enough.

I think I bruised the rib.

I demand a rematch. Next time, that rodent's going down.

Yeah, yeah. Whatever.

Man, I can't believe it. Harvey, you got to take it easy on these guys.

That really got my adrenaline going. I'm feeling really good right now.

That completely got my mind off the fact that I've been robbed and all my stuff

is gone and I can't do a decent show now and I'm going to be the laughingstock

at next year's Cave to Earth convention.

I've got to come up with something creative quick.

But in the meantime, watch a commercial.

Seems some sinister spelunker has stolen Al's stuff. But if he uses his

imagination, maybe he can solve his problem.

Hey, don't go away. The Weird Al Show will be back in a blast.

Hey,

welcome back.

I was just looking through this mess trying to find something to entertain

with. Wouldn't you know it, the burglar took all the good stuff and just left

this trash.

You know, I've been thinking about it while you guys were gone, and it just

doesn't seem fair that I should have to do my show this way. It's embarrassing.

Yes, I've suffered enough for one day, so I quit.

See ya.

Hello? Why, hello, Cage Roller Mowgli.

That's the president of the convention.

What? You say the bus was late and you're all just tuning into my show now?

You want to know what you missed?

Well, what can I tell you?

It hasn't been like any show I've ever done before.

Yeah. You guys missed all the really cool stuff and now the show's over.

Not according to your watch, huh?

Well...

Oh, would you look at that? Someone's at the door.

Really great seeing you guys.

Sorry you missed the best part of the show.

Gotta go. Thanks for calling. Bye.

Ow.

Quiet Bobby the Inquisitive Boy.

What's up, Bobby? I got a question.

Oh, that's a shocker.

Well, what do you want to know today?

Where did I come from?

Well, didn't your dad ever tell you about that?

No, he told me to ask you. He said you probably have movies on the topic.

Well, I did, Bobby, but I don't anymore. I've been robbed. All my movies are

gone, and so is my projector.

Well, can't you just tell me?

No, sorry.

Then can you read me a story?

Oh, okay, Bobby.

I'm going to read you a beautiful little story about the amazing adventures of

Fat Man.

The Adventures of Fat Man!

In the middle of a record -breaking heat wave, Donut World employee Al Yankovic

has found a unique way to make a quick buck.

Mmm.

I think they're tastier when you fry them right on the sidewalk.

Don't you, Harvey?

I think I'm starting to chafe.

Huh?

There appears to be some kind of evil lurking.

This looks like a job for... Well, you know.

I am the Eggman.

And he's the warmest.

Get cracking, boys.

Here's Eggman. Exactly what I want. Either I'm named ruler of this fair

I drop those eggs, and in this heat, it will turn this town into a giant

omelette. In fact, if I don't get to be chief executive... Okay, okay.

You're the Eggman. We get it.

Enough with the stupid puns already.

Careful. You wouldn't want to get hit by... the Scrambler.

Oh, dear.

The Scrambler. Whatever shall I...

You know, the usual. A guy called the Eggman wants to turn the city into a

omelet. Sounds great.

I'd love an omelet right about now.

Batman, the whole city's going to be smothered. Yeah, with onions and peppers

and mushrooms and... Well, the Eggman didn't mention any other ingredients.

eggs.

Just eggs?

Not even cheese?

Come on, pal. We've got to stop a madman from making a really boring...

It's not over until it's over. I shall return.

And the yoke will be on you.

That's it. I can't take any more stupid egg jokes.

Ouchie. That's got to hurt.

Well, looks like the Eggman is toast.

What is it?

I wanted an omelet!

Oh, come on.

I'll buy you an omelet.

And pancakes in the shape of a teddy bear? Of course, pancakes in the shape

whatever you would like.

Now, wasn't that a beautiful story?

Yeah, I guess.

But I still want to know where I came from.

Oh, man, I just remembered I've got a big musical act coming over to perform

a couple minutes.

Well...

There's a height requirement for audience members, and you're just under.

better run along home, Bobby.

Aw, what am I going to do there?

Use your imagination.

I know you'll think of something.

Well, see you later, Bobby. Goodbye.

Goodbye. Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye.

That's right.

All for One is going to be here any second.

How are they going to perform when all of my musical equipment is gone?

What am I going to do?

I bet Al can solve his problems with just a little creativity.

I mean, that little paper doggy thing was good, wasn't it?

We'll be right back.

Don't you move!

The Weird Al Show is back!

Did you miss me?

Hey, welcome back. All for one is coming over any minute, even though all my

musical equipment's been stolen.

That should be fun, huh?

Well, I can tell by the old clock on the wall that...

Once again, it's time for Al's Mailbag. That's right.

Well, let's see if the burglar stole that, too.

Oh, got a letter here from Marty Lick in Tulsa, Oklahoma.

And Marty writes, Dear Al, a lot of the kids at school laugh and make

fun of me because I have an imaginary friend.

What do you think?

Well, Marty, I think you've got a very healthy and active imagination.

That's good.

If you learn to develop that, you can do anything.

And by the way, there's absolutely nothing wrong with having an imaginary

friend. In fact, I still have an imaginary friend.

I call him Gilbert.

That's my name.

That's my name. Why wouldn't you call me Gilbert? That's my name. My name's

Gilbert. And even though Gilbert is imaginary...

He's always there if I need someone to talk to or a shoulder to cry on. I told

you a thousand times, I'm not imaginary.

I'm real.

You see me? I'm real. Look, you want identification?

Here, here, anything you want. You want a driver's license?

You want ID?

You want a birth certificate?

Hey, maybe we could say hello to Gilbert right now.

Oh, Gilbert.

I'm in.

If you could only hear what he's saying to me right now.

He's such a joker.

Okay, that's it. I'm out of here because you're a nutcase.

Who could that be?

Oh, that's okay.

I'll get it.

Hey, it's my pals, all for one.

Oh,

just ignore me.

I'm imaginary.

Yeah, those shirts look awfully familiar.

Where'd you get them?

There's a guy outside that's got a whole van full of them. And he's selling them

for like a buck a piece.

What a deal, huh?

Yeah. So, wouldn't that be a great time for us to do our song?

Oh, I'm really sorry. I meant to tell you guys.

All my stuff got ripped off.

All my musical instruments and amplifiers and cables and cords and

Oh, Al, we don't need any of that stuff.

You don't? No.

Real music comes from right here.

My shirt?

No, your heart.

Oh.

So what song are you going to be singing for us today?

Love in Need of Love.

Sounds great.

Hey, look. It's all for one.

Here's your friend.

Well, thanks for having us on, Al, but we're on a heavy -duty cave tour. We got

six more to hit today, so we got to be going. So we'll see you later, all

All right. Thanks, guys.

Bye -bye. Thanks a lot. River Dirty.

Ciao.

Hey, neighbor.

Got something for you.

Yeah? What?

I thought you might like to watch a little TV.

All right.

Oh, thank you. Yeah.

I improvised an antenna for you.

Ah.

You might need to adjust it a little bit.

Ah, here we go. Well, I gotta run.

Hey, since my super deluxe satellite broadcasting system isn't here, we can

our channel hopping on this.

If someone asks you for directions, stop.

Think about it for a moment. And if you don't know the best way for them to go,

smile and tell them cheerfully that you can't help them and they should ask

someone else.

Giving someone directions that you're not sure about, even if you're just

to help.

It's a bad idea.

Don't be a hero.

No directions are better than bad directions.

And it looks like this one's not going anywhere. In case you're just joining

you're watching live coverage of what has been an exciting high -speed chase.

The driver of this van is the prime suspect in a local burglary. And it

like they're opening up the van now.

Let's see if the evidence is in there.

Wow, would you look at all that junk? I've never seen so much garbage in one

place in all my life. The real mystery here is why would anybody want to steal

this worthless trash?

Hey! And so ends another exciting edition of America's Most Reality -Based

Some people have no taste.

But I guess I'll be getting my stuff back.

Hey, looks like Al's gonna get his junk, uh, stuff back, and he learned that

just about any problem can be solved with a little creativity and

Peace out!

Don't go away, or you'll regret it for the rest of your life!

And now, the spine -tingling conclusion of The Weird Al Show!

Well, they finally caught the guy that ripped me off.

Pretty scary looking, wasn't he?

So it looks like I'll be getting all my stuff back pretty soon.

Well, pal, I don't know whether or not the show was a success, but at least we

had fun.

Oh, thanks.

Hey, it's a letter from my pals at the Cave Drawers Convention.

Dear Al, we just wanted to say how much we enjoyed watching your show.

We had no idea you had so much imagination and creativity.

We'll be watching every week from now on.

P .S. We just developed those pictures of you wearing your underwear on your

head.

Well, that's it for this week. Thanks for watching, everybody.

Goodbye!

Say goodbye, Harvey.

Goodbye!

Listen to my story.

A little story about a man named Jed.