Original subtitles

Oh. This is a story about a guy named Al, and he lived in a sewer with his

hamster pal, but the sanitation workers really didn't approve, so he packed up

his accordion and had them move to a studio in Ohio, where he lived in a

and he worked in a newsworthy congestion factory, and he played on the company

bowling team, and every single night he had a French recurring dream, where he

was wearing leader holes and in a vat of sour cream, but that's really not

important in the story.

Well, the very next year he met a dental hygienist with a special attitude on

her arm, but he didn't even touch any lobster number, then he got himself a

on a tater tot farm, and he's back.

Outro Music

Today's lesson is, when friends want to share their feelings, you should be a

good listener.

Oh, hey!

How you doing?

I'm just doing a little last -minute decorating around the cave.

See, a bunch of my friends are going to be dropping by any second, and we're

going to have a big holiday party!

The thing is, we couldn't decide on which holiday, so we're just going to

celebrate them all!

It's going to be great!

Look at all this great holiday food.

Archie's ham.

Chocolate bunnies with cornbread stuffing and gravy.

Green shamrock matzos.

Candy corn on the top.

And later on, we'll be bobbing for turkey.

And of course, the secret weapon of a good party host.

Mood pie!

It soaks up all the vibes from the room and tells you at a glance how the

party's going.

Plus, it's moodalicious.

Hey, where is everyone?

They should have been here.

27 seconds ago!

Oh, no one's coming!

I've been snubbed! Oh, this is terrible!

Oh, no!

The mood pie!

No!

I've ruined the mood pie!

I mean... Hooray! I've ruined the mood pie!

Is this a great turnout or what?

Ho, ho, ho, neighbor.

Have you been a good crime -stopper this year?

Hi, Santa.

I want a brand -new bowling ball and a drool baby with two extra cans of baby

drool and a real -life pony.

You're not Santa!

Very funny, Al. Speaking of ponies, let me tell you a story about a little

superhero who wanted a pony for Christmas more than anything in the

But he never got one.

That's okay.

Say, why don't you check out the buffet table? It's a really great spread.

I'd stay away from the tapioca stuffed potatoes if I were you. They smell kind

of funny.

Oh.

Well, thanks for not listening to my story.

This party was such a great idea. I think I'm... Oh!

Hi, Val.

Happy holidays.

No!

Hey, what was that for?

I'm celebrating St. Patrick's Day.

And you aren't wearing a liquor green.

Well, yes, I am. Look.

No, that's aquamarine. Oh, well, you got me.

That was pretty good. That was a good one.

That was good.

Oh, the food looks great.

I wish I tried first.

Try the tapioca stuffed potatoes.

Anyway,

the really great thing about the holidays is that everyone's so happy.

Oh, hi, Madam Judy.

Happy, um...

What holiday are you celebrating?

Oh, well, give Madame Jules your poem.

I must read your poem.

Okay. Oh, no.

What? What is it?

Really?

No.

I think I'll get back to my party now. No, wait!

Oh! Oh! Al!

I'm getting another message.

Oh!

Listen to what your friends have to say or the holiday spirit will go away!

Yeah, yeah, right. Well, April Fool's.

Oh, hi,

Al. Great party.

Oh, thanks, cuz.

So, what holiday are you celebrating?

Well, I'll give you a hint.

It starts with a V.

Uh... Voter registration day. And I'm hoping to get some cards.

Venus flytrap day.

Vietnamese pot -bellied pig day. Or maybe some flowers.

Volcano worshippers day.

No, silly.

It's Vinny.

Vinny day?

That's a new one.

Hey, everybody. Grab some punch. We're going to have a toast.

No, no.

Ah, Yankovic.

JB Toppersmith here. Say, thanks for inviting me to your party, my boy.

My pleasure, JB.

Sorry you couldn't attend in person.

Well, that's what video conferencing is all about.

Gives the busy executive the illusion of being there without all that annoying

personal contact. You know what I mean?

Although, to tell you the truth, I sure could use a friend to talk to.

Gee, JB, looks like your punch could use some more ice cubes.

I'll messenger some right over.

No, no, wait.

I wanted to tell you.

I want to thank everyone for coming.

And I want to wish you all the very best Christmas, New Year's, Hanukkah,

Kwanzaa, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Easter, Passover, Rosh Hashanah, and

Mayo, as well as the happiest Groundhog's, Valentine's, President's,

Patrick's, Mother's, Father's, Veterans, Memorial, Flag, Independence, Labor,

Arbor, Boxing, Columbus, and best field day ever.

Maybe Tuna Punch is an acquired tape.

Well, this party is not turning out at all like I expected.

What am I going to do? If Al wants his party to really rock, maybe he should

listen when his friends talk.

Hey, don't go away. The Weird Al Show will be back in a flash.

Can you believe it? The Weird Al...

Mood pie doesn't look very good right now.

Why is everyone poisoning the good vibes at my holiday party?

I better get busy cheering people up.

Uncle Ralphie, how's it going?

Hey, let me guess.

You're celebrating Easter, right?

No, no, no. Fourth of July.

Oh. Then why are you dressed up like the Easter Bunny?

Because someone else took the last Uncle Sam costume.

If you snooze, then you lose.

You knew I wanted to be Uncle Sam.

Oh, what are you going to do, bust out crying, bunny boy?

You! Hey, hey, hey, I don't want to listen to any of this. Look, we're going

have a happy, happy, happy party. You got me?

You started it. Did not. Did you?

Okay, okay, that's enough. I think you two need a time out. Tell you what, why

don't you guys go on a little Easter egg hunt? I hid a bunch of eggs in that

abandoned mine shaft right over there.

Looks dark in there.

I'm scared of the dark.

You're a big baby. Hey!

Why don't you take this to help you along?

Now, you two go have fun, all right?

Okay.

All right. Come on, little bunny boy. All right. Come on, Mr. Cotton Tail. You

should be good at this. Come on.

Hey, Hooded Avenger. Great party, huh?

If Val Brentwood pinches me one more time for not wearing green, I'll be

to do something very unsuperhero -like. Calm down. I'll talk to her about it.

Thanks. I'm going to have a bruise in the morning.

Is it my imagination, or is everything getting worse?

holiday party. Everyone's supposed to be happy.

That's probably just a lull, right?

Let me go check the mood pie.

Ah!

Uh -oh.

Something wrong with the mood pie?

Oh, hi, Mrs. Fessenmeier. Gee, there sure seem to be a lot of unhappy people

this party.

I have no idea what you're talking about.

This party's going great.

Oh, maybe you shouldn't be worrying so much about your party.

Maybe you should worry a little more about the feelings of your guests.

Huh. Hey, why don't we all play a game of jump in the compote?

Maybe, maybe.

Ouch.

Corky, you look kind of down.

You know what you need?

To talk about my feelings?

No. A snack!

I've been saving this for a special occasion.

This fruitcake has been passed down in the Yankovic family from generation to

generation.

It was originally a gift from the Queen of England herself, and it came over to

this country in the year 1620 on the Mayflower.

Where it was used as an anchor when the original anchor was eaten by a giant sea

monster.

Well, it's just a little tougher than I thought.

Look out! I'm really not hungry, all right?

Don't you even want to know what's bothering me?

Sure. Okay, what's wrong, Corky?

My pilgrim escaped, and I didn't get a single valentine all day.

In fact, I've never gotten a valentine.

Corky.

You're ruining my party, and I'll just snap out of it before you bum everybody

else out, too.

I wish somebody would listen to me.

I think I'll just go hide in the abandoned mine shaft where I can talk to

myself.

Mmm, salty.

Ow! Hey, what are you doing? I'm wearing green.

Oh, yeah.

Whatever.

What's the matter? Couldn't you find any eggs? It looks like the underground

rats got to them before we could. Yeah, what were you thinking, hiding Easter

eggs in a mine shaft?

Next year I'm going to Fred Huggins' holiday party instead.

Uh -oh.

Excuse me a second.

What?

Does everybody have the holiday blues?

I've got to do something fast.

Hey, everybody, here's something that's guaranteed to entertain you. A death

-defying stunt from my best friend in the whole world, Harvey the Wonder

Hamster.

Harvey? Hey, pal, where are you?

Oh, what's this?

I'm not coming out today.

Groundhogs have their very own day. Why can't hamsters? It's not fair.

Signed, Harvey.

What? Today?

In my home country of Squamish? hamster stewing day.

But the NFL, if you care, no.

And I always hated the 4th of July because I think that the United States

still be a part of England.

I always hated the Beatles.

No more sad stories.

This party is for happy people. Happy people only. If you're not happy,

Now it'll just be the happy people left.

Ooh, too bad Al wouldn't let his friends share their feeling. Looks like now

it's a party for one.

The Weird Al Show will be right back. I promise!

It's time for more of the Weird Al Show!

Hey, welcome back to my one -man holiday party.

I chased all my friends away because they were unhappy, and now I'm so bummed

out I don't know what to do.

Well, when the answers to life's questions elude you, there's only one

do.

Watch TV!

Hey, you want to know why I feel so good? Because I look good!

I'm Tony Maloney, your physical fitness friend, and I want all you potato chip

eating slobs to get off your lazy butts right now!

What would you like to do now?

Get as far away from you as possible.

Yeah, you stink.

Well, now.

Hey, tell you what.

I just wrote a brand new song.

Would you like me to play it for you?

Slightly less than I'd like bamboo splinters under my fingernails. Dad,

make him stop.

I am a little kitty.

I'm a little kitty.

Meow, meow.

When I'm dirty, I lick my fur.

When I'm happy, I purr, purr, purr. Oh, I'm a little kitty.

Meow, meow.

Oh, man, he's really lost it. Yeah, I think it's back to the home for old

Hello? Yeah, Papa Boo here.

Yeah, he's singing the kitty song again. Oh, he's lost it. Better bring the

straitjacket.

Today on This Old Mouth, we take an up -close -and -personal look at our

the uvula.

All

of

which goes to show why I think Rabbit Puppy is the best film of this year or

year. Well, that is probably the stupidest thing you have ever said. This

was... I would rather rip my own head off than sit through this piece of

again. Yeah, well, that's the kind of ignorance I'd expect from a doody head

like you. You talking to me, poopy pants?

Snot face?

Vomit nose?

Hooty fish?

Hooty fish?

With a ripe cantaloupe.

This just in.

Ping pong, spelled backwards, is gnop, gnip.

Where are you taking me?

Oh, you're hurting my little wristie. Ow!

Oh, that was painful.

Help me, Papa Bully. Yeah, right.

Oh, what's wrong with the world when TV doesn't make you feel better?

Hey, Al.

Just thought I'd check up on you. You feeling okay?

Oh, yeah, great.

I'm walking on stinking rose petals.

You know Al.

Yeah, I know Al.

He's this guy who can't even throw a party without bumming out his friends

chasing them all away.

Problem is with your ears, Al.

You need to learn how to listen.

I do?

We all have feelings we need to share, Al.

And when one person shares and the other person listens, those two people get to

be better friends.

You know, that's so darn happy.

It's just got to be true.

I think there are some people here who would like to see you.

Come back to share your feelings.

Well, we've been trying to all day.

Now, where's that punch?

Well, hey, everybody. I'm really glad y 'all came back, and I promise to listen

from now on. And as long as we're all caring and sharing and opening up and

that, right now I'd like to share some of my favorite holiday memories.

And I have them captured right here in this.

just learn about listening?

I really have to go home and water the astroturf.

Later. Now watch and listen.

I like to call this one holidays.

Oh, there's my crazy Uncle Jonathan.

And hey, that's me. What a cute kid, huh? Even at that age, the camera loved

Uncle Jonathan was great. We always had Thanksgiving dinner at his house.

Ew, it's a dead bird.

Uncle Jonathan always carves the Thanksgiving turkey. It's kind of a

tradition. Ow!

Oh, no!

He cut off his thumb!

Oh,

that Uncle Jonathan, what a kidder.

Of course, before we eat, we always take a moment to have a little food fight!

Oh, man, I was hot that day! Look at me go!

And what's this?

Oh, it's the Fourth of July!

I love...

This year, my dad gave me my very own sparkler, but he got kind of mad when I

accidentally burned down the neighborhood.

Kids, don't ever play with fire. It's very... Oh, look, now it's Halloween.

Cool costume, huh?

My friends and I are just getting back from trick -or -treating. That was fun.

Oh, look at this. Same thing every year. My friends get all this candy, and I'd

get a big sack of broccoli.

Broccoli's really good for you, but I guess at the time, I didn't really

appreciate it.

Oh, and there's Uncle Jonathan again.

He would always put on a great magic show for us. There's the bunny.

There's the bunny.

Whoops. He'd always trick the other kids into leaving the room.

Then... Oh, man.

I couldn't sleep for three weeks after that.

Hey, my film's burning up.

No!

Yes!

Woo!

Thank goodness that's over.

Hey, I'm sorry I was pinching you so much.

I'm sorry that I have such a low tolerance for pain.

There were 15 people in the band, but we only had 14 accordions. Mrs.

Bessemeyer, who are you talking to? I'm talking to the guy boarded up in the

wall. He's a really good listener.

Oh, you go on. Hey, hey, guy boarded up on the wall. What holiday are you

celebrating back there?

Hanukkah. Oh, well, Feliz Navidad.

Oh, Bethany.

Hey, Al, look.

I'm red, white, and blue.

I noticed.

That's a new look for you. Once I listened to how important Independence

to Uncle Ralphie, I sweet -talked the man at the costume shop, and he whipped

this little number for my new friend.

So now we can both be Fourth of July.

That makes me so happy.

Harvey, I decided to declare today Cancer Day.

This is turning out to be the best holiday party ever. And here's the

We'll be right back.

Oh, it looks like the secret ingredients for friendship are one part sharing and

two parts listening.

Bon appetit.

Hey,

stay tuned for more of The Weird Al Show.

And now, the spine -tingling conclusion of The Weird Al Show.

You know, holidays can be fun if you're lucky enough to have friends who listen.

Well, thanks for dropping by, everybody.

Come back next week when... Hey, Al! Hey!

Mr. Clark, what are you doing here?

Well, I'm here to count down to the new year. What else?

That's great, but the show's almost over. Well, how about a big countdown to

closing credits?

Sounds good to me.

Okay. Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four,

three, two, one.