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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,390 --> 00:00:05,540 Oh. This is a story about a guy named Al, and he lived in a sewer with his 2 00:00:05,540 --> 00:00:08,900 hamster pal, but the sanitation workers really didn't approve, so he packed up 3 00:00:08,900 --> 00:00:12,400 his accordion and had them move to a studio in Ohio, where he lived in a 4 00:00:12,520 --> 00:00:15,700 and he worked in a newsworthy congestion factory, and he played on the company 5 00:00:15,700 --> 00:00:18,820 bowling team, and every single night he had a French recurring dream, where he 6 00:00:18,820 --> 00:00:21,420 was wearing leader holes and in a vat of sour cream, but that's really not 7 00:00:21,420 --> 00:00:22,420 important in the story. 8 00:00:22,780 --> 00:00:26,280 Well, the very next year he met a dental hygienist with a special attitude on 9 00:00:26,280 --> 00:00:30,280 her arm, but he didn't even touch any lobster number, then he got himself a 10 00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:31,780 on a tater tot farm, and he's back. 11 00:00:51,430 --> 00:00:54,230 Outro Music 12 00:01:14,550 --> 00:01:19,890 Today's lesson is, when friends want to share their feelings, you should be a 13 00:01:19,890 --> 00:01:20,890 good listener. 14 00:01:22,170 --> 00:01:23,068 Oh, hey! 15 00:01:23,070 --> 00:01:23,988 How you doing? 16 00:01:23,990 --> 00:01:26,730 I'm just doing a little last -minute decorating around the cave. 17 00:01:26,990 --> 00:01:30,270 See, a bunch of my friends are going to be dropping by any second, and we're 18 00:01:30,270 --> 00:01:31,890 going to have a big holiday party! 19 00:01:32,370 --> 00:01:35,930 The thing is, we couldn't decide on which holiday, so we're just going to 20 00:01:35,930 --> 00:01:36,908 celebrate them all! 21 00:01:36,910 --> 00:01:37,910 It's going to be great! 22 00:01:38,170 --> 00:01:39,730 Look at all this great holiday food. 23 00:01:40,610 --> 00:01:41,610 Archie's ham. 24 00:01:42,030 --> 00:01:44,310 Chocolate bunnies with cornbread stuffing and gravy. 25 00:01:44,630 --> 00:01:46,130 Green shamrock matzos. 26 00:01:46,350 --> 00:01:47,630 Candy corn on the top. 27 00:01:48,150 --> 00:01:51,430 And later on, we'll be bobbing for turkey. 28 00:01:51,770 --> 00:01:54,470 And of course, the secret weapon of a good party host. 29 00:01:57,850 --> 00:01:58,850 Mood pie! 30 00:01:59,110 --> 00:02:02,630 It soaks up all the vibes from the room and tells you at a glance how the 31 00:02:02,630 --> 00:02:03,488 party's going. 32 00:02:03,490 --> 00:02:05,390 Plus, it's moodalicious. 33 00:02:07,470 --> 00:02:09,210 Hey, where is everyone? 34 00:02:09,710 --> 00:02:10,810 They should have been here. 35 00:02:11,769 --> 00:02:13,310 27 seconds ago! 36 00:02:13,590 --> 00:02:14,910 Oh, no one's coming! 37 00:02:15,110 --> 00:02:17,610 I've been snubbed! Oh, this is terrible! 38 00:02:18,570 --> 00:02:19,570 Oh, no! 39 00:02:19,610 --> 00:02:20,710 The mood pie! 40 00:02:21,550 --> 00:02:22,550 No! 41 00:02:23,290 --> 00:02:24,890 I've ruined the mood pie! 42 00:02:26,210 --> 00:02:30,930 I mean... Hooray! I've ruined the mood pie! 43 00:02:50,600 --> 00:02:52,120 Is this a great turnout or what? 44 00:02:52,880 --> 00:02:54,100 Ho, ho, ho, neighbor. 45 00:02:54,320 --> 00:02:56,540 Have you been a good crime -stopper this year? 46 00:02:57,640 --> 00:02:58,640 Hi, Santa. 47 00:02:58,660 --> 00:03:02,060 I want a brand -new bowling ball and a drool baby with two extra cans of baby 48 00:03:02,060 --> 00:03:03,600 drool and a real -life pony. 49 00:03:06,200 --> 00:03:07,200 You're not Santa! 50 00:03:07,480 --> 00:03:11,100 Very funny, Al. Speaking of ponies, let me tell you a story about a little 51 00:03:11,100 --> 00:03:14,680 superhero who wanted a pony for Christmas more than anything in the 52 00:03:15,290 --> 00:03:16,370 But he never got one. 53 00:03:16,610 --> 00:03:17,610 That's okay. 54 00:03:17,630 --> 00:03:20,430 Say, why don't you check out the buffet table? It's a really great spread. 55 00:03:21,150 --> 00:03:24,890 I'd stay away from the tapioca stuffed potatoes if I were you. They smell kind 56 00:03:24,890 --> 00:03:25,509 of funny. 57 00:03:25,510 --> 00:03:26,509 Oh. 58 00:03:26,510 --> 00:03:28,650 Well, thanks for not listening to my story. 59 00:03:30,490 --> 00:03:34,850 This party was such a great idea. I think I'm... Oh! 60 00:03:35,250 --> 00:03:36,250 Hi, Val. 61 00:03:36,410 --> 00:03:37,410 Happy holidays. 62 00:03:38,010 --> 00:03:39,010 No! 63 00:03:39,150 --> 00:03:40,470 Hey, what was that for? 64 00:03:40,710 --> 00:03:42,630 I'm celebrating St. Patrick's Day. 65 00:03:43,160 --> 00:03:45,080 And you aren't wearing a liquor green. 66 00:03:45,860 --> 00:03:47,160 Well, yes, I am. Look. 67 00:03:47,460 --> 00:03:50,920 No, that's aquamarine. Oh, well, you got me. 68 00:03:51,300 --> 00:03:53,200 That was pretty good. That was a good one. 69 00:03:53,480 --> 00:03:54,480 That was good. 70 00:03:54,700 --> 00:03:55,780 Oh, the food looks great. 71 00:03:56,100 --> 00:03:57,160 I wish I tried first. 72 00:03:57,420 --> 00:03:59,000 Try the tapioca stuffed potatoes. 73 00:04:02,020 --> 00:04:03,020 Anyway, 74 00:04:04,400 --> 00:04:07,900 the really great thing about the holidays is that everyone's so happy. 75 00:04:08,360 --> 00:04:10,900 Oh, hi, Madam Judy. 76 00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:12,200 Happy, um... 77 00:04:12,460 --> 00:04:14,160 What holiday are you celebrating? 78 00:04:14,380 --> 00:04:17,300 Oh, well, give Madame Jules your poem. 79 00:04:17,519 --> 00:04:19,500 I must read your poem. 80 00:04:19,800 --> 00:04:21,620 Okay. Oh, no. 81 00:04:22,220 --> 00:04:23,380 What? What is it? 82 00:04:42,480 --> 00:04:43,880 Really? 83 00:04:48,560 --> 00:04:49,800 No. 84 00:04:55,310 --> 00:04:57,530 I think I'll get back to my party now. No, wait! 85 00:04:57,790 --> 00:04:59,730 Oh! Oh! Al! 86 00:05:00,330 --> 00:05:01,830 I'm getting another message. 87 00:05:02,190 --> 00:05:03,190 Oh! 88 00:05:03,250 --> 00:05:08,090 Listen to what your friends have to say or the holiday spirit will go away! 89 00:05:08,690 --> 00:05:10,930 Yeah, yeah, right. Well, April Fool's. 90 00:05:11,210 --> 00:05:12,950 Oh, hi, 91 00:05:15,670 --> 00:05:16,850 Al. Great party. 92 00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:18,129 Oh, thanks, cuz. 93 00:05:18,130 --> 00:05:20,090 So, what holiday are you celebrating? 94 00:05:20,410 --> 00:05:21,750 Well, I'll give you a hint. 95 00:05:21,990 --> 00:05:23,350 It starts with a V. 96 00:05:23,830 --> 00:05:27,600 Uh... Voter registration day. And I'm hoping to get some cards. 97 00:05:28,200 --> 00:05:29,440 Venus flytrap day. 98 00:05:29,860 --> 00:05:33,020 Vietnamese pot -bellied pig day. Or maybe some flowers. 99 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:35,220 Volcano worshippers day. 100 00:05:35,980 --> 00:05:36,980 No, silly. 101 00:05:37,060 --> 00:05:38,900 It's Vinny. 102 00:05:40,780 --> 00:05:41,780 Vinny day? 103 00:05:42,220 --> 00:05:43,220 That's a new one. 104 00:05:43,480 --> 00:05:46,340 Hey, everybody. Grab some punch. We're going to have a toast. 105 00:05:46,940 --> 00:05:48,040 No, no. 106 00:05:48,840 --> 00:05:50,100 Ah, Yankovic. 107 00:05:50,400 --> 00:05:54,620 JB Toppersmith here. Say, thanks for inviting me to your party, my boy. 108 00:05:54,860 --> 00:05:55,960 My pleasure, JB. 109 00:05:56,220 --> 00:05:57,860 Sorry you couldn't attend in person. 110 00:05:58,080 --> 00:06:00,680 Well, that's what video conferencing is all about. 111 00:06:01,020 --> 00:06:05,780 Gives the busy executive the illusion of being there without all that annoying 112 00:06:05,780 --> 00:06:07,740 personal contact. You know what I mean? 113 00:06:08,020 --> 00:06:13,440 Although, to tell you the truth, I sure could use a friend to talk to. 114 00:06:14,700 --> 00:06:18,240 Gee, JB, looks like your punch could use some more ice cubes. 115 00:06:18,500 --> 00:06:20,040 I'll messenger some right over. 116 00:06:20,400 --> 00:06:21,299 No, no, wait. 117 00:06:21,300 --> 00:06:22,480 I wanted to tell you. 118 00:06:24,280 --> 00:06:28,640 I want to thank everyone for coming. 119 00:06:29,100 --> 00:06:32,680 And I want to wish you all the very best Christmas, New Year's, Hanukkah, 120 00:06:32,700 --> 00:06:35,840 Kwanzaa, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Easter, Passover, Rosh Hashanah, and 121 00:06:35,840 --> 00:06:39,340 Mayo, as well as the happiest Groundhog's, Valentine's, President's, 122 00:06:39,360 --> 00:06:41,800 Patrick's, Mother's, Father's, Veterans, Memorial, Flag, Independence, Labor, 123 00:06:41,960 --> 00:06:43,960 Arbor, Boxing, Columbus, and best field day ever. 124 00:06:50,700 --> 00:06:52,660 Maybe Tuna Punch is an acquired tape. 125 00:06:59,740 --> 00:07:03,220 Well, this party is not turning out at all like I expected. 126 00:07:03,560 --> 00:07:08,420 What am I going to do? If Al wants his party to really rock, maybe he should 127 00:07:08,420 --> 00:07:10,180 listen when his friends talk. 128 00:07:10,760 --> 00:07:14,320 Hey, don't go away. The Weird Al Show will be back in a flash. 129 00:07:17,180 --> 00:07:19,280 Can you believe it? The Weird Al... 130 00:07:27,370 --> 00:07:28,990 Mood pie doesn't look very good right now. 131 00:07:29,530 --> 00:07:32,810 Why is everyone poisoning the good vibes at my holiday party? 132 00:07:33,130 --> 00:07:34,950 I better get busy cheering people up. 133 00:07:36,710 --> 00:07:38,350 Uncle Ralphie, how's it going? 134 00:07:39,050 --> 00:07:40,150 Hey, let me guess. 135 00:07:40,670 --> 00:07:42,290 You're celebrating Easter, right? 136 00:07:42,530 --> 00:07:44,490 No, no, no. Fourth of July. 137 00:07:44,830 --> 00:07:47,490 Oh. Then why are you dressed up like the Easter Bunny? 138 00:07:48,210 --> 00:07:51,570 Because someone else took the last Uncle Sam costume. 139 00:07:52,170 --> 00:07:53,810 If you snooze, then you lose. 140 00:07:54,720 --> 00:07:56,700 You knew I wanted to be Uncle Sam. 141 00:07:57,140 --> 00:07:59,680 Oh, what are you going to do, bust out crying, bunny boy? 142 00:07:59,960 --> 00:08:02,540 You! Hey, hey, hey, I don't want to listen to any of this. Look, we're going 143 00:08:02,540 --> 00:08:04,400 have a happy, happy, happy party. You got me? 144 00:08:04,640 --> 00:08:06,480 You started it. Did not. Did you? 145 00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:10,280 Okay, okay, that's enough. I think you two need a time out. Tell you what, why 146 00:08:10,280 --> 00:08:13,240 don't you guys go on a little Easter egg hunt? I hid a bunch of eggs in that 147 00:08:13,240 --> 00:08:14,940 abandoned mine shaft right over there. 148 00:08:16,360 --> 00:08:17,360 Looks dark in there. 149 00:08:18,040 --> 00:08:19,080 I'm scared of the dark. 150 00:08:19,340 --> 00:08:20,920 You're a big baby. Hey! 151 00:08:21,610 --> 00:08:22,990 Why don't you take this to help you along? 152 00:08:23,210 --> 00:08:24,490 Now, you two go have fun, all right? 153 00:08:24,850 --> 00:08:25,850 Okay. 154 00:08:25,910 --> 00:08:29,510 All right. Come on, little bunny boy. All right. Come on, Mr. Cotton Tail. You 155 00:08:29,510 --> 00:08:30,770 should be good at this. Come on. 156 00:08:31,010 --> 00:08:33,370 Hey, Hooded Avenger. Great party, huh? 157 00:08:33,610 --> 00:08:38,530 If Val Brentwood pinches me one more time for not wearing green, I'll be 158 00:08:38,530 --> 00:08:43,610 to do something very unsuperhero -like. Calm down. I'll talk to her about it. 159 00:08:43,710 --> 00:08:45,990 Thanks. I'm going to have a bruise in the morning. 160 00:08:47,130 --> 00:08:49,510 Is it my imagination, or is everything getting worse? 161 00:08:50,640 --> 00:08:52,700 holiday party. Everyone's supposed to be happy. 162 00:08:53,620 --> 00:08:55,180 That's probably just a lull, right? 163 00:08:55,560 --> 00:08:57,300 Let me go check the mood pie. 164 00:08:59,760 --> 00:09:00,760 Ah! 165 00:09:01,380 --> 00:09:04,060 Uh -oh. 166 00:09:04,320 --> 00:09:06,080 Something wrong with the mood pie? 167 00:09:06,820 --> 00:09:11,980 Oh, hi, Mrs. Fessenmeier. Gee, there sure seem to be a lot of unhappy people 168 00:09:11,980 --> 00:09:12,980 this party. 169 00:09:13,290 --> 00:09:14,710 I have no idea what you're talking about. 170 00:09:14,930 --> 00:09:16,330 This party's going great. 171 00:09:16,570 --> 00:09:19,210 Oh, maybe you shouldn't be worrying so much about your party. 172 00:09:19,470 --> 00:09:22,910 Maybe you should worry a little more about the feelings of your guests. 173 00:09:23,570 --> 00:09:28,010 Huh. Hey, why don't we all play a game of jump in the compote? 174 00:09:28,730 --> 00:09:29,730 Maybe, maybe. 175 00:09:29,750 --> 00:09:30,750 Ouch. 176 00:09:33,650 --> 00:09:35,290 Corky, you look kind of down. 177 00:09:37,010 --> 00:09:38,010 You know what you need? 178 00:09:38,730 --> 00:09:40,190 To talk about my feelings? 179 00:09:40,570 --> 00:09:42,160 No. A snack! 180 00:09:43,500 --> 00:09:47,040 I've been saving this for a special occasion. 181 00:09:49,760 --> 00:09:54,520 This fruitcake has been passed down in the Yankovic family from generation to 182 00:09:54,520 --> 00:09:55,520 generation. 183 00:09:58,080 --> 00:10:03,700 It was originally a gift from the Queen of England herself, and it came over to 184 00:10:03,700 --> 00:10:05,940 this country in the year 1620 on the Mayflower. 185 00:10:10,760 --> 00:10:15,620 Where it was used as an anchor when the original anchor was eaten by a giant sea 186 00:10:15,620 --> 00:10:16,620 monster. 187 00:10:17,120 --> 00:10:20,380 Well, it's just a little tougher than I thought. 188 00:10:22,300 --> 00:10:24,380 Look out! I'm really not hungry, all right? 189 00:10:25,900 --> 00:10:27,420 Don't you even want to know what's bothering me? 190 00:10:27,660 --> 00:10:29,340 Sure. Okay, what's wrong, Corky? 191 00:10:29,640 --> 00:10:33,320 My pilgrim escaped, and I didn't get a single valentine all day. 192 00:10:33,560 --> 00:10:36,120 In fact, I've never gotten a valentine. 193 00:10:37,680 --> 00:10:38,680 Corky. 194 00:10:39,280 --> 00:10:42,700 You're ruining my party, and I'll just snap out of it before you bum everybody 195 00:10:42,700 --> 00:10:43,700 else out, too. 196 00:10:43,820 --> 00:10:45,520 I wish somebody would listen to me. 197 00:10:45,720 --> 00:10:48,540 I think I'll just go hide in the abandoned mine shaft where I can talk to 198 00:10:48,540 --> 00:10:49,540 myself. 199 00:10:53,960 --> 00:10:54,960 Mmm, salty. 200 00:10:59,800 --> 00:11:02,900 Ow! Hey, what are you doing? I'm wearing green. 201 00:11:03,260 --> 00:11:04,260 Oh, yeah. 202 00:11:04,540 --> 00:11:05,540 Whatever. 203 00:11:08,040 --> 00:11:11,160 What's the matter? Couldn't you find any eggs? It looks like the underground 204 00:11:11,160 --> 00:11:14,780 rats got to them before we could. Yeah, what were you thinking, hiding Easter 205 00:11:14,780 --> 00:11:16,020 eggs in a mine shaft? 206 00:11:16,480 --> 00:11:19,640 Next year I'm going to Fred Huggins' holiday party instead. 207 00:11:22,040 --> 00:11:23,040 Uh -oh. 208 00:11:23,500 --> 00:11:24,540 Excuse me a second. 209 00:11:28,720 --> 00:11:29,720 What? 210 00:11:32,500 --> 00:11:34,360 Does everybody have the holiday blues? 211 00:11:35,020 --> 00:11:36,400 I've got to do something fast. 212 00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:44,220 Hey, everybody, here's something that's guaranteed to entertain you. A death 213 00:11:44,220 --> 00:11:49,260 -defying stunt from my best friend in the whole world, Harvey the Wonder 214 00:11:49,260 --> 00:11:50,260 Hamster. 215 00:11:50,980 --> 00:11:53,240 Harvey? Hey, pal, where are you? 216 00:11:54,100 --> 00:11:55,100 Oh, what's this? 217 00:11:56,820 --> 00:11:58,120 I'm not coming out today. 218 00:11:59,040 --> 00:12:02,200 Groundhogs have their very own day. Why can't hamsters? It's not fair. 219 00:12:02,420 --> 00:12:03,420 Signed, Harvey. 220 00:12:04,080 --> 00:12:05,720 What? Today? 221 00:12:06,740 --> 00:12:10,420 In my home country of Squamish? hamster stewing day. 222 00:12:10,900 --> 00:12:13,540 But the NFL, if you care, no. 223 00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:20,240 And I always hated the 4th of July because I think that the United States 224 00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:21,420 still be a part of England. 225 00:12:22,680 --> 00:12:25,780 I always hated the Beatles. 226 00:12:28,120 --> 00:12:32,960 No more sad stories. 227 00:12:33,220 --> 00:12:37,700 This party is for happy people. Happy people only. If you're not happy, 228 00:12:51,850 --> 00:12:55,790 Now it'll just be the happy people left. 229 00:12:56,230 --> 00:13:01,030 Ooh, too bad Al wouldn't let his friends share their feeling. Looks like now 230 00:13:01,030 --> 00:13:02,290 it's a party for one. 231 00:13:02,870 --> 00:13:06,370 The Weird Al Show will be right back. I promise! 232 00:13:09,270 --> 00:13:11,890 It's time for more of the Weird Al Show! 233 00:13:14,790 --> 00:13:18,930 Hey, welcome back to my one -man holiday party. 234 00:13:19,790 --> 00:13:24,130 I chased all my friends away because they were unhappy, and now I'm so bummed 235 00:13:24,130 --> 00:13:25,130 out I don't know what to do. 236 00:13:26,190 --> 00:13:31,130 Well, when the answers to life's questions elude you, there's only one 237 00:13:31,130 --> 00:13:32,130 do. 238 00:13:32,650 --> 00:13:33,650 Watch TV! 239 00:13:34,710 --> 00:13:39,390 Hey, you want to know why I feel so good? Because I look good! 240 00:13:39,670 --> 00:13:43,970 I'm Tony Maloney, your physical fitness friend, and I want all you potato chip 241 00:13:43,970 --> 00:13:46,730 eating slobs to get off your lazy butts right now! 242 00:14:12,330 --> 00:14:13,590 What would you like to do now? 243 00:14:13,910 --> 00:14:16,030 Get as far away from you as possible. 244 00:14:16,270 --> 00:14:17,270 Yeah, you stink. 245 00:14:17,490 --> 00:14:18,490 Well, now. 246 00:14:18,630 --> 00:14:20,410 Hey, tell you what. 247 00:14:20,830 --> 00:14:23,590 I just wrote a brand new song. 248 00:14:24,310 --> 00:14:26,570 Would you like me to play it for you? 249 00:14:27,190 --> 00:14:32,870 Slightly less than I'd like bamboo splinters under my fingernails. Dad, 250 00:14:33,070 --> 00:14:34,070 make him stop. 251 00:14:35,790 --> 00:14:37,470 I am a little kitty. 252 00:14:40,460 --> 00:14:41,640 I'm a little kitty. 253 00:14:42,200 --> 00:14:43,640 Meow, meow. 254 00:14:44,260 --> 00:14:47,600 When I'm dirty, I lick my fur. 255 00:14:47,980 --> 00:14:53,320 When I'm happy, I purr, purr, purr. Oh, I'm a little kitty. 256 00:14:53,740 --> 00:14:55,220 Meow, meow. 257 00:14:55,560 --> 00:14:59,960 Oh, man, he's really lost it. Yeah, I think it's back to the home for old 258 00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:03,500 Hello? Yeah, Papa Boo here. 259 00:15:03,940 --> 00:15:09,100 Yeah, he's singing the kitty song again. Oh, he's lost it. Better bring the 260 00:15:09,100 --> 00:15:10,100 straitjacket. 261 00:15:11,020 --> 00:15:16,960 Today on This Old Mouth, we take an up -close -and -personal look at our 262 00:15:17,280 --> 00:15:18,300 the uvula. 263 00:15:20,620 --> 00:15:21,220 All 264 00:15:21,220 --> 00:15:29,660 of 265 00:15:29,660 --> 00:15:34,260 which goes to show why I think Rabbit Puppy is the best film of this year or 266 00:15:34,260 --> 00:15:38,340 year. Well, that is probably the stupidest thing you have ever said. This 267 00:15:38,340 --> 00:15:43,810 was... I would rather rip my own head off than sit through this piece of 268 00:15:43,810 --> 00:15:47,250 again. Yeah, well, that's the kind of ignorance I'd expect from a doody head 269 00:15:47,250 --> 00:15:49,410 like you. You talking to me, poopy pants? 270 00:15:49,690 --> 00:15:50,469 Snot face? 271 00:15:50,470 --> 00:15:51,469 Vomit nose? 272 00:15:51,470 --> 00:15:52,470 Hooty fish? 273 00:15:52,550 --> 00:15:53,550 Hooty fish? 274 00:15:55,810 --> 00:15:57,350 With a ripe cantaloupe. 275 00:15:58,010 --> 00:15:59,010 This just in. 276 00:15:59,950 --> 00:16:03,750 Ping pong, spelled backwards, is gnop, gnip. 277 00:16:12,010 --> 00:16:13,010 Where are you taking me? 278 00:16:13,190 --> 00:16:15,230 Oh, you're hurting my little wristie. Ow! 279 00:16:15,490 --> 00:16:16,510 Oh, that was painful. 280 00:16:17,290 --> 00:16:19,790 Help me, Papa Bully. Yeah, right. 281 00:16:23,110 --> 00:16:26,550 Oh, what's wrong with the world when TV doesn't make you feel better? 282 00:16:28,530 --> 00:16:29,530 Hey, Al. 283 00:16:29,890 --> 00:16:32,330 Just thought I'd check up on you. You feeling okay? 284 00:16:32,590 --> 00:16:33,590 Oh, yeah, great. 285 00:16:33,910 --> 00:16:36,130 I'm walking on stinking rose petals. 286 00:16:36,610 --> 00:16:37,589 You know Al. 287 00:16:37,590 --> 00:16:38,590 Yeah, I know Al. 288 00:16:38,970 --> 00:16:41,970 He's this guy who can't even throw a party without bumming out his friends 289 00:16:41,970 --> 00:16:43,010 chasing them all away. 290 00:16:44,030 --> 00:16:45,510 Problem is with your ears, Al. 291 00:16:45,730 --> 00:16:47,030 You need to learn how to listen. 292 00:16:47,390 --> 00:16:48,389 I do? 293 00:16:48,390 --> 00:16:50,350 We all have feelings we need to share, Al. 294 00:16:50,670 --> 00:16:54,690 And when one person shares and the other person listens, those two people get to 295 00:16:54,690 --> 00:16:55,690 be better friends. 296 00:16:56,830 --> 00:17:00,230 You know, that's so darn happy. 297 00:17:00,550 --> 00:17:02,010 It's just got to be true. 298 00:17:02,910 --> 00:17:05,869 I think there are some people here who would like to see you. 299 00:17:20,750 --> 00:17:22,530 Come back to share your feelings. 300 00:17:22,849 --> 00:17:25,130 Well, we've been trying to all day. 301 00:17:25,609 --> 00:17:27,170 Now, where's that punch? 302 00:17:28,430 --> 00:17:32,950 Well, hey, everybody. I'm really glad y 'all came back, and I promise to listen 303 00:17:32,950 --> 00:17:37,210 from now on. And as long as we're all caring and sharing and opening up and 304 00:17:37,210 --> 00:17:40,950 that, right now I'd like to share some of my favorite holiday memories. 305 00:17:41,510 --> 00:17:44,150 And I have them captured right here in this. 306 00:17:55,790 --> 00:17:57,290 just learn about listening? 307 00:17:57,750 --> 00:18:02,930 I really have to go home and water the astroturf. 308 00:18:03,410 --> 00:18:07,510 Later. Now watch and listen. 309 00:18:09,350 --> 00:18:11,630 I like to call this one holidays. 310 00:18:12,870 --> 00:18:14,730 Oh, there's my crazy Uncle Jonathan. 311 00:18:14,950 --> 00:18:19,630 And hey, that's me. What a cute kid, huh? Even at that age, the camera loved 312 00:18:19,770 --> 00:18:22,950 Uncle Jonathan was great. We always had Thanksgiving dinner at his house. 313 00:18:23,490 --> 00:18:24,990 Ew, it's a dead bird. 314 00:18:25,489 --> 00:18:28,930 Uncle Jonathan always carves the Thanksgiving turkey. It's kind of a 315 00:18:28,930 --> 00:18:29,930 tradition. Ow! 316 00:18:30,130 --> 00:18:30,889 Oh, no! 317 00:18:30,890 --> 00:18:32,090 He cut off his thumb! 318 00:18:32,310 --> 00:18:33,310 Oh, 319 00:18:33,530 --> 00:18:35,530 that Uncle Jonathan, what a kidder. 320 00:18:36,170 --> 00:18:40,270 Of course, before we eat, we always take a moment to have a little food fight! 321 00:18:40,790 --> 00:18:42,970 Oh, man, I was hot that day! Look at me go! 322 00:18:43,730 --> 00:18:45,450 And what's this? 323 00:18:45,710 --> 00:18:47,110 Oh, it's the Fourth of July! 324 00:18:47,390 --> 00:18:48,390 I love... 325 00:18:48,780 --> 00:18:52,720 This year, my dad gave me my very own sparkler, but he got kind of mad when I 326 00:18:52,720 --> 00:18:54,380 accidentally burned down the neighborhood. 327 00:18:54,620 --> 00:18:58,180 Kids, don't ever play with fire. It's very... Oh, look, now it's Halloween. 328 00:18:58,680 --> 00:18:59,780 Cool costume, huh? 329 00:18:59,980 --> 00:19:03,200 My friends and I are just getting back from trick -or -treating. That was fun. 330 00:19:03,620 --> 00:19:07,980 Oh, look at this. Same thing every year. My friends get all this candy, and I'd 331 00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:09,620 get a big sack of broccoli. 332 00:19:10,540 --> 00:19:12,960 Broccoli's really good for you, but I guess at the time, I didn't really 333 00:19:12,960 --> 00:19:13,960 appreciate it. 334 00:19:14,410 --> 00:19:16,010 Oh, and there's Uncle Jonathan again. 335 00:19:16,230 --> 00:19:19,430 He would always put on a great magic show for us. There's the bunny. 336 00:19:20,430 --> 00:19:21,430 There's the bunny. 337 00:19:21,990 --> 00:19:25,470 Whoops. He'd always trick the other kids into leaving the room. 338 00:19:26,610 --> 00:19:29,230 Then... Oh, man. 339 00:19:29,450 --> 00:19:31,470 I couldn't sleep for three weeks after that. 340 00:19:31,730 --> 00:19:33,890 Hey, my film's burning up. 341 00:19:34,250 --> 00:19:35,250 No! 342 00:19:36,510 --> 00:19:37,510 Yes! 343 00:19:38,150 --> 00:19:39,150 Woo! 344 00:19:40,450 --> 00:19:42,890 Thank goodness that's over. 345 00:19:45,559 --> 00:19:49,200 Hey, I'm sorry I was pinching you so much. 346 00:19:50,080 --> 00:19:53,560 I'm sorry that I have such a low tolerance for pain. 347 00:19:54,940 --> 00:19:59,200 There were 15 people in the band, but we only had 14 accordions. Mrs. 348 00:19:59,300 --> 00:20:02,360 Bessemeyer, who are you talking to? I'm talking to the guy boarded up in the 349 00:20:02,360 --> 00:20:04,640 wall. He's a really good listener. 350 00:20:04,920 --> 00:20:07,680 Oh, you go on. Hey, hey, guy boarded up on the wall. What holiday are you 351 00:20:07,680 --> 00:20:08,639 celebrating back there? 352 00:20:08,640 --> 00:20:11,820 Hanukkah. Oh, well, Feliz Navidad. 353 00:20:12,120 --> 00:20:13,120 Oh, Bethany. 354 00:20:14,160 --> 00:20:15,600 Hey, Al, look. 355 00:20:16,440 --> 00:20:17,620 I'm red, white, and blue. 356 00:20:17,840 --> 00:20:18,840 I noticed. 357 00:20:18,960 --> 00:20:23,120 That's a new look for you. Once I listened to how important Independence 358 00:20:23,120 --> 00:20:27,320 to Uncle Ralphie, I sweet -talked the man at the costume shop, and he whipped 359 00:20:27,320 --> 00:20:28,860 this little number for my new friend. 360 00:20:29,240 --> 00:20:31,120 So now we can both be Fourth of July. 361 00:20:31,380 --> 00:20:33,240 That makes me so happy. 362 00:20:34,040 --> 00:20:38,500 Harvey, I decided to declare today Cancer Day. 363 00:21:03,050 --> 00:21:07,070 This is turning out to be the best holiday party ever. And here's the 364 00:21:10,930 --> 00:21:12,210 We'll be right back. 365 00:21:12,470 --> 00:21:17,550 Oh, it looks like the secret ingredients for friendship are one part sharing and 366 00:21:17,550 --> 00:21:18,870 two parts listening. 367 00:21:19,330 --> 00:21:20,790 Bon appetit. 368 00:21:21,270 --> 00:21:22,270 Hey, 369 00:21:22,510 --> 00:21:25,230 stay tuned for more of The Weird Al Show. 370 00:21:26,950 --> 00:21:31,410 And now, the spine -tingling conclusion of The Weird Al Show. 371 00:21:34,030 --> 00:21:37,570 You know, holidays can be fun if you're lucky enough to have friends who listen. 372 00:21:37,950 --> 00:21:39,270 Well, thanks for dropping by, everybody. 373 00:21:39,490 --> 00:21:41,810 Come back next week when... Hey, Al! Hey! 374 00:21:42,310 --> 00:21:44,070 Mr. Clark, what are you doing here? 375 00:21:44,310 --> 00:21:46,310 Well, I'm here to count down to the new year. What else? 376 00:21:46,750 --> 00:21:49,930 That's great, but the show's almost over. Well, how about a big countdown to 377 00:21:49,930 --> 00:21:50,970 closing credits? 378 00:21:51,290 --> 00:21:52,209 Sounds good to me. 379 00:21:52,210 --> 00:21:58,870 Okay. Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, 380 00:21:59,250 --> 00:22:01,270 three, two, one. 29591

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