Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,390 --> 00:00:05,540
Oh. This is a story about a guy named
Al, and he lived in a sewer with his
2
00:00:05,540 --> 00:00:08,900
hamster pal, but the sanitation workers
really didn't approve, so he packed up
3
00:00:08,900 --> 00:00:12,400
his accordion and had them move to a
studio in Ohio, where he lived in a
4
00:00:12,520 --> 00:00:15,700
and he worked in a newsworthy congestion
factory, and he played on the company
5
00:00:15,700 --> 00:00:18,820
bowling team, and every single night he
had a French recurring dream, where he
6
00:00:18,820 --> 00:00:21,420
was wearing leader holes and in a vat of
sour cream, but that's really not
7
00:00:21,420 --> 00:00:22,420
important in the story.
8
00:00:22,780 --> 00:00:26,280
Well, the very next year he met a dental
hygienist with a special attitude on
9
00:00:26,280 --> 00:00:30,280
her arm, but he didn't even touch any
lobster number, then he got himself a
10
00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:31,780
on a tater tot farm, and he's back.
11
00:00:51,430 --> 00:00:54,230
Outro Music
12
00:01:14,550 --> 00:01:19,890
Today's lesson is, when friends want to
share their feelings, you should be a
13
00:01:19,890 --> 00:01:20,890
good listener.
14
00:01:22,170 --> 00:01:23,068
Oh, hey!
15
00:01:23,070 --> 00:01:23,988
How you doing?
16
00:01:23,990 --> 00:01:26,730
I'm just doing a little last -minute
decorating around the cave.
17
00:01:26,990 --> 00:01:30,270
See, a bunch of my friends are going to
be dropping by any second, and we're
18
00:01:30,270 --> 00:01:31,890
going to have a big holiday party!
19
00:01:32,370 --> 00:01:35,930
The thing is, we couldn't decide on
which holiday, so we're just going to
20
00:01:35,930 --> 00:01:36,908
celebrate them all!
21
00:01:36,910 --> 00:01:37,910
It's going to be great!
22
00:01:38,170 --> 00:01:39,730
Look at all this great holiday food.
23
00:01:40,610 --> 00:01:41,610
Archie's ham.
24
00:01:42,030 --> 00:01:44,310
Chocolate bunnies with cornbread
stuffing and gravy.
25
00:01:44,630 --> 00:01:46,130
Green shamrock matzos.
26
00:01:46,350 --> 00:01:47,630
Candy corn on the top.
27
00:01:48,150 --> 00:01:51,430
And later on, we'll be bobbing for
turkey.
28
00:01:51,770 --> 00:01:54,470
And of course, the secret weapon of a
good party host.
29
00:01:57,850 --> 00:01:58,850
Mood pie!
30
00:01:59,110 --> 00:02:02,630
It soaks up all the vibes from the room
and tells you at a glance how the
31
00:02:02,630 --> 00:02:03,488
party's going.
32
00:02:03,490 --> 00:02:05,390
Plus, it's moodalicious.
33
00:02:07,470 --> 00:02:09,210
Hey, where is everyone?
34
00:02:09,710 --> 00:02:10,810
They should have been here.
35
00:02:11,769 --> 00:02:13,310
27 seconds ago!
36
00:02:13,590 --> 00:02:14,910
Oh, no one's coming!
37
00:02:15,110 --> 00:02:17,610
I've been snubbed! Oh, this is terrible!
38
00:02:18,570 --> 00:02:19,570
Oh, no!
39
00:02:19,610 --> 00:02:20,710
The mood pie!
40
00:02:21,550 --> 00:02:22,550
No!
41
00:02:23,290 --> 00:02:24,890
I've ruined the mood pie!
42
00:02:26,210 --> 00:02:30,930
I mean... Hooray! I've ruined the mood
pie!
43
00:02:50,600 --> 00:02:52,120
Is this a great turnout or what?
44
00:02:52,880 --> 00:02:54,100
Ho, ho, ho, neighbor.
45
00:02:54,320 --> 00:02:56,540
Have you been a good crime -stopper this
year?
46
00:02:57,640 --> 00:02:58,640
Hi, Santa.
47
00:02:58,660 --> 00:03:02,060
I want a brand -new bowling ball and a
drool baby with two extra cans of baby
48
00:03:02,060 --> 00:03:03,600
drool and a real -life pony.
49
00:03:06,200 --> 00:03:07,200
You're not Santa!
50
00:03:07,480 --> 00:03:11,100
Very funny, Al. Speaking of ponies, let
me tell you a story about a little
51
00:03:11,100 --> 00:03:14,680
superhero who wanted a pony for
Christmas more than anything in the
52
00:03:15,290 --> 00:03:16,370
But he never got one.
53
00:03:16,610 --> 00:03:17,610
That's okay.
54
00:03:17,630 --> 00:03:20,430
Say, why don't you check out the buffet
table? It's a really great spread.
55
00:03:21,150 --> 00:03:24,890
I'd stay away from the tapioca stuffed
potatoes if I were you. They smell kind
56
00:03:24,890 --> 00:03:25,509
of funny.
57
00:03:25,510 --> 00:03:26,509
Oh.
58
00:03:26,510 --> 00:03:28,650
Well, thanks for not listening to my
story.
59
00:03:30,490 --> 00:03:34,850
This party was such a great idea. I
think I'm... Oh!
60
00:03:35,250 --> 00:03:36,250
Hi, Val.
61
00:03:36,410 --> 00:03:37,410
Happy holidays.
62
00:03:38,010 --> 00:03:39,010
No!
63
00:03:39,150 --> 00:03:40,470
Hey, what was that for?
64
00:03:40,710 --> 00:03:42,630
I'm celebrating St. Patrick's Day.
65
00:03:43,160 --> 00:03:45,080
And you aren't wearing a liquor green.
66
00:03:45,860 --> 00:03:47,160
Well, yes, I am. Look.
67
00:03:47,460 --> 00:03:50,920
No, that's aquamarine. Oh, well, you got
me.
68
00:03:51,300 --> 00:03:53,200
That was pretty good. That was a good
one.
69
00:03:53,480 --> 00:03:54,480
That was good.
70
00:03:54,700 --> 00:03:55,780
Oh, the food looks great.
71
00:03:56,100 --> 00:03:57,160
I wish I tried first.
72
00:03:57,420 --> 00:03:59,000
Try the tapioca stuffed potatoes.
73
00:04:02,020 --> 00:04:03,020
Anyway,
74
00:04:04,400 --> 00:04:07,900
the really great thing about the
holidays is that everyone's so happy.
75
00:04:08,360 --> 00:04:10,900
Oh, hi, Madam Judy.
76
00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:12,200
Happy, um...
77
00:04:12,460 --> 00:04:14,160
What holiday are you celebrating?
78
00:04:14,380 --> 00:04:17,300
Oh, well, give Madame Jules your poem.
79
00:04:17,519 --> 00:04:19,500
I must read your poem.
80
00:04:19,800 --> 00:04:21,620
Okay. Oh, no.
81
00:04:22,220 --> 00:04:23,380
What? What is it?
82
00:04:42,480 --> 00:04:43,880
Really?
83
00:04:48,560 --> 00:04:49,800
No.
84
00:04:55,310 --> 00:04:57,530
I think I'll get back to my party now.
No, wait!
85
00:04:57,790 --> 00:04:59,730
Oh! Oh! Al!
86
00:05:00,330 --> 00:05:01,830
I'm getting another message.
87
00:05:02,190 --> 00:05:03,190
Oh!
88
00:05:03,250 --> 00:05:08,090
Listen to what your friends have to say
or the holiday spirit will go away!
89
00:05:08,690 --> 00:05:10,930
Yeah, yeah, right. Well, April Fool's.
90
00:05:11,210 --> 00:05:12,950
Oh, hi,
91
00:05:15,670 --> 00:05:16,850
Al. Great party.
92
00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:18,129
Oh, thanks, cuz.
93
00:05:18,130 --> 00:05:20,090
So, what holiday are you celebrating?
94
00:05:20,410 --> 00:05:21,750
Well, I'll give you a hint.
95
00:05:21,990 --> 00:05:23,350
It starts with a V.
96
00:05:23,830 --> 00:05:27,600
Uh... Voter registration day. And I'm
hoping to get some cards.
97
00:05:28,200 --> 00:05:29,440
Venus flytrap day.
98
00:05:29,860 --> 00:05:33,020
Vietnamese pot -bellied pig day. Or
maybe some flowers.
99
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:35,220
Volcano worshippers day.
100
00:05:35,980 --> 00:05:36,980
No, silly.
101
00:05:37,060 --> 00:05:38,900
It's Vinny.
102
00:05:40,780 --> 00:05:41,780
Vinny day?
103
00:05:42,220 --> 00:05:43,220
That's a new one.
104
00:05:43,480 --> 00:05:46,340
Hey, everybody. Grab some punch. We're
going to have a toast.
105
00:05:46,940 --> 00:05:48,040
No, no.
106
00:05:48,840 --> 00:05:50,100
Ah, Yankovic.
107
00:05:50,400 --> 00:05:54,620
JB Toppersmith here. Say, thanks for
inviting me to your party, my boy.
108
00:05:54,860 --> 00:05:55,960
My pleasure, JB.
109
00:05:56,220 --> 00:05:57,860
Sorry you couldn't attend in person.
110
00:05:58,080 --> 00:06:00,680
Well, that's what video conferencing is
all about.
111
00:06:01,020 --> 00:06:05,780
Gives the busy executive the illusion of
being there without all that annoying
112
00:06:05,780 --> 00:06:07,740
personal contact. You know what I mean?
113
00:06:08,020 --> 00:06:13,440
Although, to tell you the truth, I sure
could use a friend to talk to.
114
00:06:14,700 --> 00:06:18,240
Gee, JB, looks like your punch could use
some more ice cubes.
115
00:06:18,500 --> 00:06:20,040
I'll messenger some right over.
116
00:06:20,400 --> 00:06:21,299
No, no, wait.
117
00:06:21,300 --> 00:06:22,480
I wanted to tell you.
118
00:06:24,280 --> 00:06:28,640
I want to thank everyone for coming.
119
00:06:29,100 --> 00:06:32,680
And I want to wish you all the very best
Christmas, New Year's, Hanukkah,
120
00:06:32,700 --> 00:06:35,840
Kwanzaa, Halloween, Thanksgiving,
Easter, Passover, Rosh Hashanah, and
121
00:06:35,840 --> 00:06:39,340
Mayo, as well as the happiest
Groundhog's, Valentine's, President's,
122
00:06:39,360 --> 00:06:41,800
Patrick's, Mother's, Father's, Veterans,
Memorial, Flag, Independence, Labor,
123
00:06:41,960 --> 00:06:43,960
Arbor, Boxing, Columbus, and best field
day ever.
124
00:06:50,700 --> 00:06:52,660
Maybe Tuna Punch is an acquired tape.
125
00:06:59,740 --> 00:07:03,220
Well, this party is not turning out at
all like I expected.
126
00:07:03,560 --> 00:07:08,420
What am I going to do? If Al wants his
party to really rock, maybe he should
127
00:07:08,420 --> 00:07:10,180
listen when his friends talk.
128
00:07:10,760 --> 00:07:14,320
Hey, don't go away. The Weird Al Show
will be back in a flash.
129
00:07:17,180 --> 00:07:19,280
Can you believe it? The Weird Al...
130
00:07:27,370 --> 00:07:28,990
Mood pie doesn't look very good right
now.
131
00:07:29,530 --> 00:07:32,810
Why is everyone poisoning the good vibes
at my holiday party?
132
00:07:33,130 --> 00:07:34,950
I better get busy cheering people up.
133
00:07:36,710 --> 00:07:38,350
Uncle Ralphie, how's it going?
134
00:07:39,050 --> 00:07:40,150
Hey, let me guess.
135
00:07:40,670 --> 00:07:42,290
You're celebrating Easter, right?
136
00:07:42,530 --> 00:07:44,490
No, no, no. Fourth of July.
137
00:07:44,830 --> 00:07:47,490
Oh. Then why are you dressed up like the
Easter Bunny?
138
00:07:48,210 --> 00:07:51,570
Because someone else took the last Uncle
Sam costume.
139
00:07:52,170 --> 00:07:53,810
If you snooze, then you lose.
140
00:07:54,720 --> 00:07:56,700
You knew I wanted to be Uncle Sam.
141
00:07:57,140 --> 00:07:59,680
Oh, what are you going to do, bust out
crying, bunny boy?
142
00:07:59,960 --> 00:08:02,540
You! Hey, hey, hey, I don't want to
listen to any of this. Look, we're going
143
00:08:02,540 --> 00:08:04,400
have a happy, happy, happy party. You
got me?
144
00:08:04,640 --> 00:08:06,480
You started it. Did not. Did you?
145
00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:10,280
Okay, okay, that's enough. I think you
two need a time out. Tell you what, why
146
00:08:10,280 --> 00:08:13,240
don't you guys go on a little Easter egg
hunt? I hid a bunch of eggs in that
147
00:08:13,240 --> 00:08:14,940
abandoned mine shaft right over there.
148
00:08:16,360 --> 00:08:17,360
Looks dark in there.
149
00:08:18,040 --> 00:08:19,080
I'm scared of the dark.
150
00:08:19,340 --> 00:08:20,920
You're a big baby. Hey!
151
00:08:21,610 --> 00:08:22,990
Why don't you take this to help you
along?
152
00:08:23,210 --> 00:08:24,490
Now, you two go have fun, all right?
153
00:08:24,850 --> 00:08:25,850
Okay.
154
00:08:25,910 --> 00:08:29,510
All right. Come on, little bunny boy.
All right. Come on, Mr. Cotton Tail. You
155
00:08:29,510 --> 00:08:30,770
should be good at this. Come on.
156
00:08:31,010 --> 00:08:33,370
Hey, Hooded Avenger. Great party, huh?
157
00:08:33,610 --> 00:08:38,530
If Val Brentwood pinches me one more
time for not wearing green, I'll be
158
00:08:38,530 --> 00:08:43,610
to do something very unsuperhero -like.
Calm down. I'll talk to her about it.
159
00:08:43,710 --> 00:08:45,990
Thanks. I'm going to have a bruise in
the morning.
160
00:08:47,130 --> 00:08:49,510
Is it my imagination, or is everything
getting worse?
161
00:08:50,640 --> 00:08:52,700
holiday party. Everyone's supposed to be
happy.
162
00:08:53,620 --> 00:08:55,180
That's probably just a lull, right?
163
00:08:55,560 --> 00:08:57,300
Let me go check the mood pie.
164
00:08:59,760 --> 00:09:00,760
Ah!
165
00:09:01,380 --> 00:09:04,060
Uh -oh.
166
00:09:04,320 --> 00:09:06,080
Something wrong with the mood pie?
167
00:09:06,820 --> 00:09:11,980
Oh, hi, Mrs. Fessenmeier. Gee, there
sure seem to be a lot of unhappy people
168
00:09:11,980 --> 00:09:12,980
this party.
169
00:09:13,290 --> 00:09:14,710
I have no idea what you're talking
about.
170
00:09:14,930 --> 00:09:16,330
This party's going great.
171
00:09:16,570 --> 00:09:19,210
Oh, maybe you shouldn't be worrying so
much about your party.
172
00:09:19,470 --> 00:09:22,910
Maybe you should worry a little more
about the feelings of your guests.
173
00:09:23,570 --> 00:09:28,010
Huh. Hey, why don't we all play a game
of jump in the compote?
174
00:09:28,730 --> 00:09:29,730
Maybe, maybe.
175
00:09:29,750 --> 00:09:30,750
Ouch.
176
00:09:33,650 --> 00:09:35,290
Corky, you look kind of down.
177
00:09:37,010 --> 00:09:38,010
You know what you need?
178
00:09:38,730 --> 00:09:40,190
To talk about my feelings?
179
00:09:40,570 --> 00:09:42,160
No. A snack!
180
00:09:43,500 --> 00:09:47,040
I've been saving this for a special
occasion.
181
00:09:49,760 --> 00:09:54,520
This fruitcake has been passed down in
the Yankovic family from generation to
182
00:09:54,520 --> 00:09:55,520
generation.
183
00:09:58,080 --> 00:10:03,700
It was originally a gift from the Queen
of England herself, and it came over to
184
00:10:03,700 --> 00:10:05,940
this country in the year 1620 on the
Mayflower.
185
00:10:10,760 --> 00:10:15,620
Where it was used as an anchor when the
original anchor was eaten by a giant sea
186
00:10:15,620 --> 00:10:16,620
monster.
187
00:10:17,120 --> 00:10:20,380
Well, it's just a little tougher than I
thought.
188
00:10:22,300 --> 00:10:24,380
Look out! I'm really not hungry, all
right?
189
00:10:25,900 --> 00:10:27,420
Don't you even want to know what's
bothering me?
190
00:10:27,660 --> 00:10:29,340
Sure. Okay, what's wrong, Corky?
191
00:10:29,640 --> 00:10:33,320
My pilgrim escaped, and I didn't get a
single valentine all day.
192
00:10:33,560 --> 00:10:36,120
In fact, I've never gotten a valentine.
193
00:10:37,680 --> 00:10:38,680
Corky.
194
00:10:39,280 --> 00:10:42,700
You're ruining my party, and I'll just
snap out of it before you bum everybody
195
00:10:42,700 --> 00:10:43,700
else out, too.
196
00:10:43,820 --> 00:10:45,520
I wish somebody would listen to me.
197
00:10:45,720 --> 00:10:48,540
I think I'll just go hide in the
abandoned mine shaft where I can talk to
198
00:10:48,540 --> 00:10:49,540
myself.
199
00:10:53,960 --> 00:10:54,960
Mmm, salty.
200
00:10:59,800 --> 00:11:02,900
Ow! Hey, what are you doing? I'm wearing
green.
201
00:11:03,260 --> 00:11:04,260
Oh, yeah.
202
00:11:04,540 --> 00:11:05,540
Whatever.
203
00:11:08,040 --> 00:11:11,160
What's the matter? Couldn't you find any
eggs? It looks like the underground
204
00:11:11,160 --> 00:11:14,780
rats got to them before we could. Yeah,
what were you thinking, hiding Easter
205
00:11:14,780 --> 00:11:16,020
eggs in a mine shaft?
206
00:11:16,480 --> 00:11:19,640
Next year I'm going to Fred Huggins'
holiday party instead.
207
00:11:22,040 --> 00:11:23,040
Uh -oh.
208
00:11:23,500 --> 00:11:24,540
Excuse me a second.
209
00:11:28,720 --> 00:11:29,720
What?
210
00:11:32,500 --> 00:11:34,360
Does everybody have the holiday blues?
211
00:11:35,020 --> 00:11:36,400
I've got to do something fast.
212
00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:44,220
Hey, everybody, here's something that's
guaranteed to entertain you. A death
213
00:11:44,220 --> 00:11:49,260
-defying stunt from my best friend in
the whole world, Harvey the Wonder
214
00:11:49,260 --> 00:11:50,260
Hamster.
215
00:11:50,980 --> 00:11:53,240
Harvey? Hey, pal, where are you?
216
00:11:54,100 --> 00:11:55,100
Oh, what's this?
217
00:11:56,820 --> 00:11:58,120
I'm not coming out today.
218
00:11:59,040 --> 00:12:02,200
Groundhogs have their very own day. Why
can't hamsters? It's not fair.
219
00:12:02,420 --> 00:12:03,420
Signed, Harvey.
220
00:12:04,080 --> 00:12:05,720
What? Today?
221
00:12:06,740 --> 00:12:10,420
In my home country of Squamish? hamster
stewing day.
222
00:12:10,900 --> 00:12:13,540
But the NFL, if you care, no.
223
00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:20,240
And I always hated the 4th of July
because I think that the United States
224
00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:21,420
still be a part of England.
225
00:12:22,680 --> 00:12:25,780
I always hated the Beatles.
226
00:12:28,120 --> 00:12:32,960
No more sad stories.
227
00:12:33,220 --> 00:12:37,700
This party is for happy people. Happy
people only. If you're not happy,
228
00:12:51,850 --> 00:12:55,790
Now it'll just be the happy people left.
229
00:12:56,230 --> 00:13:01,030
Ooh, too bad Al wouldn't let his friends
share their feeling. Looks like now
230
00:13:01,030 --> 00:13:02,290
it's a party for one.
231
00:13:02,870 --> 00:13:06,370
The Weird Al Show will be right back. I
promise!
232
00:13:09,270 --> 00:13:11,890
It's time for more of the Weird Al Show!
233
00:13:14,790 --> 00:13:18,930
Hey, welcome back to my one -man holiday
party.
234
00:13:19,790 --> 00:13:24,130
I chased all my friends away because
they were unhappy, and now I'm so bummed
235
00:13:24,130 --> 00:13:25,130
out I don't know what to do.
236
00:13:26,190 --> 00:13:31,130
Well, when the answers to life's
questions elude you, there's only one
237
00:13:31,130 --> 00:13:32,130
do.
238
00:13:32,650 --> 00:13:33,650
Watch TV!
239
00:13:34,710 --> 00:13:39,390
Hey, you want to know why I feel so
good? Because I look good!
240
00:13:39,670 --> 00:13:43,970
I'm Tony Maloney, your physical fitness
friend, and I want all you potato chip
241
00:13:43,970 --> 00:13:46,730
eating slobs to get off your lazy butts
right now!
242
00:14:12,330 --> 00:14:13,590
What would you like to do now?
243
00:14:13,910 --> 00:14:16,030
Get as far away from you as possible.
244
00:14:16,270 --> 00:14:17,270
Yeah, you stink.
245
00:14:17,490 --> 00:14:18,490
Well, now.
246
00:14:18,630 --> 00:14:20,410
Hey, tell you what.
247
00:14:20,830 --> 00:14:23,590
I just wrote a brand new song.
248
00:14:24,310 --> 00:14:26,570
Would you like me to play it for you?
249
00:14:27,190 --> 00:14:32,870
Slightly less than I'd like bamboo
splinters under my fingernails. Dad,
250
00:14:33,070 --> 00:14:34,070
make him stop.
251
00:14:35,790 --> 00:14:37,470
I am a little kitty.
252
00:14:40,460 --> 00:14:41,640
I'm a little kitty.
253
00:14:42,200 --> 00:14:43,640
Meow, meow.
254
00:14:44,260 --> 00:14:47,600
When I'm dirty, I lick my fur.
255
00:14:47,980 --> 00:14:53,320
When I'm happy, I purr, purr, purr. Oh,
I'm a little kitty.
256
00:14:53,740 --> 00:14:55,220
Meow, meow.
257
00:14:55,560 --> 00:14:59,960
Oh, man, he's really lost it. Yeah, I
think it's back to the home for old
258
00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:03,500
Hello? Yeah, Papa Boo here.
259
00:15:03,940 --> 00:15:09,100
Yeah, he's singing the kitty song again.
Oh, he's lost it. Better bring the
260
00:15:09,100 --> 00:15:10,100
straitjacket.
261
00:15:11,020 --> 00:15:16,960
Today on This Old Mouth, we take an up
-close -and -personal look at our
262
00:15:17,280 --> 00:15:18,300
the uvula.
263
00:15:20,620 --> 00:15:21,220
All
264
00:15:21,220 --> 00:15:29,660
of
265
00:15:29,660 --> 00:15:34,260
which goes to show why I think Rabbit
Puppy is the best film of this year or
266
00:15:34,260 --> 00:15:38,340
year. Well, that is probably the
stupidest thing you have ever said. This
267
00:15:38,340 --> 00:15:43,810
was... I would rather rip my own head
off than sit through this piece of
268
00:15:43,810 --> 00:15:47,250
again. Yeah, well, that's the kind of
ignorance I'd expect from a doody head
269
00:15:47,250 --> 00:15:49,410
like you. You talking to me, poopy
pants?
270
00:15:49,690 --> 00:15:50,469
Snot face?
271
00:15:50,470 --> 00:15:51,469
Vomit nose?
272
00:15:51,470 --> 00:15:52,470
Hooty fish?
273
00:15:52,550 --> 00:15:53,550
Hooty fish?
274
00:15:55,810 --> 00:15:57,350
With a ripe cantaloupe.
275
00:15:58,010 --> 00:15:59,010
This just in.
276
00:15:59,950 --> 00:16:03,750
Ping pong, spelled backwards, is gnop,
gnip.
277
00:16:12,010 --> 00:16:13,010
Where are you taking me?
278
00:16:13,190 --> 00:16:15,230
Oh, you're hurting my little wristie.
Ow!
279
00:16:15,490 --> 00:16:16,510
Oh, that was painful.
280
00:16:17,290 --> 00:16:19,790
Help me, Papa Bully. Yeah, right.
281
00:16:23,110 --> 00:16:26,550
Oh, what's wrong with the world when TV
doesn't make you feel better?
282
00:16:28,530 --> 00:16:29,530
Hey, Al.
283
00:16:29,890 --> 00:16:32,330
Just thought I'd check up on you. You
feeling okay?
284
00:16:32,590 --> 00:16:33,590
Oh, yeah, great.
285
00:16:33,910 --> 00:16:36,130
I'm walking on stinking rose petals.
286
00:16:36,610 --> 00:16:37,589
You know Al.
287
00:16:37,590 --> 00:16:38,590
Yeah, I know Al.
288
00:16:38,970 --> 00:16:41,970
He's this guy who can't even throw a
party without bumming out his friends
289
00:16:41,970 --> 00:16:43,010
chasing them all away.
290
00:16:44,030 --> 00:16:45,510
Problem is with your ears, Al.
291
00:16:45,730 --> 00:16:47,030
You need to learn how to listen.
292
00:16:47,390 --> 00:16:48,389
I do?
293
00:16:48,390 --> 00:16:50,350
We all have feelings we need to share,
Al.
294
00:16:50,670 --> 00:16:54,690
And when one person shares and the other
person listens, those two people get to
295
00:16:54,690 --> 00:16:55,690
be better friends.
296
00:16:56,830 --> 00:17:00,230
You know, that's so darn happy.
297
00:17:00,550 --> 00:17:02,010
It's just got to be true.
298
00:17:02,910 --> 00:17:05,869
I think there are some people here who
would like to see you.
299
00:17:20,750 --> 00:17:22,530
Come back to share your feelings.
300
00:17:22,849 --> 00:17:25,130
Well, we've been trying to all day.
301
00:17:25,609 --> 00:17:27,170
Now, where's that punch?
302
00:17:28,430 --> 00:17:32,950
Well, hey, everybody. I'm really glad y
'all came back, and I promise to listen
303
00:17:32,950 --> 00:17:37,210
from now on. And as long as we're all
caring and sharing and opening up and
304
00:17:37,210 --> 00:17:40,950
that, right now I'd like to share some
of my favorite holiday memories.
305
00:17:41,510 --> 00:17:44,150
And I have them captured right here in
this.
306
00:17:55,790 --> 00:17:57,290
just learn about listening?
307
00:17:57,750 --> 00:18:02,930
I really have to go home and water the
astroturf.
308
00:18:03,410 --> 00:18:07,510
Later. Now watch and listen.
309
00:18:09,350 --> 00:18:11,630
I like to call this one holidays.
310
00:18:12,870 --> 00:18:14,730
Oh, there's my crazy Uncle Jonathan.
311
00:18:14,950 --> 00:18:19,630
And hey, that's me. What a cute kid,
huh? Even at that age, the camera loved
312
00:18:19,770 --> 00:18:22,950
Uncle Jonathan was great. We always had
Thanksgiving dinner at his house.
313
00:18:23,490 --> 00:18:24,990
Ew, it's a dead bird.
314
00:18:25,489 --> 00:18:28,930
Uncle Jonathan always carves the
Thanksgiving turkey. It's kind of a
315
00:18:28,930 --> 00:18:29,930
tradition. Ow!
316
00:18:30,130 --> 00:18:30,889
Oh, no!
317
00:18:30,890 --> 00:18:32,090
He cut off his thumb!
318
00:18:32,310 --> 00:18:33,310
Oh,
319
00:18:33,530 --> 00:18:35,530
that Uncle Jonathan, what a kidder.
320
00:18:36,170 --> 00:18:40,270
Of course, before we eat, we always take
a moment to have a little food fight!
321
00:18:40,790 --> 00:18:42,970
Oh, man, I was hot that day! Look at me
go!
322
00:18:43,730 --> 00:18:45,450
And what's this?
323
00:18:45,710 --> 00:18:47,110
Oh, it's the Fourth of July!
324
00:18:47,390 --> 00:18:48,390
I love...
325
00:18:48,780 --> 00:18:52,720
This year, my dad gave me my very own
sparkler, but he got kind of mad when I
326
00:18:52,720 --> 00:18:54,380
accidentally burned down the
neighborhood.
327
00:18:54,620 --> 00:18:58,180
Kids, don't ever play with fire. It's
very... Oh, look, now it's Halloween.
328
00:18:58,680 --> 00:18:59,780
Cool costume, huh?
329
00:18:59,980 --> 00:19:03,200
My friends and I are just getting back
from trick -or -treating. That was fun.
330
00:19:03,620 --> 00:19:07,980
Oh, look at this. Same thing every year.
My friends get all this candy, and I'd
331
00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:09,620
get a big sack of broccoli.
332
00:19:10,540 --> 00:19:12,960
Broccoli's really good for you, but I
guess at the time, I didn't really
333
00:19:12,960 --> 00:19:13,960
appreciate it.
334
00:19:14,410 --> 00:19:16,010
Oh, and there's Uncle Jonathan again.
335
00:19:16,230 --> 00:19:19,430
He would always put on a great magic
show for us. There's the bunny.
336
00:19:20,430 --> 00:19:21,430
There's the bunny.
337
00:19:21,990 --> 00:19:25,470
Whoops. He'd always trick the other kids
into leaving the room.
338
00:19:26,610 --> 00:19:29,230
Then... Oh, man.
339
00:19:29,450 --> 00:19:31,470
I couldn't sleep for three weeks after
that.
340
00:19:31,730 --> 00:19:33,890
Hey, my film's burning up.
341
00:19:34,250 --> 00:19:35,250
No!
342
00:19:36,510 --> 00:19:37,510
Yes!
343
00:19:38,150 --> 00:19:39,150
Woo!
344
00:19:40,450 --> 00:19:42,890
Thank goodness that's over.
345
00:19:45,559 --> 00:19:49,200
Hey, I'm sorry I was pinching you so
much.
346
00:19:50,080 --> 00:19:53,560
I'm sorry that I have such a low
tolerance for pain.
347
00:19:54,940 --> 00:19:59,200
There were 15 people in the band, but we
only had 14 accordions. Mrs.
348
00:19:59,300 --> 00:20:02,360
Bessemeyer, who are you talking to? I'm
talking to the guy boarded up in the
349
00:20:02,360 --> 00:20:04,640
wall. He's a really good listener.
350
00:20:04,920 --> 00:20:07,680
Oh, you go on. Hey, hey, guy boarded up
on the wall. What holiday are you
351
00:20:07,680 --> 00:20:08,639
celebrating back there?
352
00:20:08,640 --> 00:20:11,820
Hanukkah. Oh, well, Feliz Navidad.
353
00:20:12,120 --> 00:20:13,120
Oh, Bethany.
354
00:20:14,160 --> 00:20:15,600
Hey, Al, look.
355
00:20:16,440 --> 00:20:17,620
I'm red, white, and blue.
356
00:20:17,840 --> 00:20:18,840
I noticed.
357
00:20:18,960 --> 00:20:23,120
That's a new look for you. Once I
listened to how important Independence
358
00:20:23,120 --> 00:20:27,320
to Uncle Ralphie, I sweet -talked the
man at the costume shop, and he whipped
359
00:20:27,320 --> 00:20:28,860
this little number for my new friend.
360
00:20:29,240 --> 00:20:31,120
So now we can both be Fourth of July.
361
00:20:31,380 --> 00:20:33,240
That makes me so happy.
362
00:20:34,040 --> 00:20:38,500
Harvey, I decided to declare today
Cancer Day.
363
00:21:03,050 --> 00:21:07,070
This is turning out to be the best
holiday party ever. And here's the
364
00:21:10,930 --> 00:21:12,210
We'll be right back.
365
00:21:12,470 --> 00:21:17,550
Oh, it looks like the secret ingredients
for friendship are one part sharing and
366
00:21:17,550 --> 00:21:18,870
two parts listening.
367
00:21:19,330 --> 00:21:20,790
Bon appetit.
368
00:21:21,270 --> 00:21:22,270
Hey,
369
00:21:22,510 --> 00:21:25,230
stay tuned for more of The Weird Al
Show.
370
00:21:26,950 --> 00:21:31,410
And now, the spine -tingling conclusion
of The Weird Al Show.
371
00:21:34,030 --> 00:21:37,570
You know, holidays can be fun if you're
lucky enough to have friends who listen.
372
00:21:37,950 --> 00:21:39,270
Well, thanks for dropping by, everybody.
373
00:21:39,490 --> 00:21:41,810
Come back next week when... Hey, Al!
Hey!
374
00:21:42,310 --> 00:21:44,070
Mr. Clark, what are you doing here?
375
00:21:44,310 --> 00:21:46,310
Well, I'm here to count down to the new
year. What else?
376
00:21:46,750 --> 00:21:49,930
That's great, but the show's almost
over. Well, how about a big countdown to
377
00:21:49,930 --> 00:21:50,970
closing credits?
378
00:21:51,290 --> 00:21:52,209
Sounds good to me.
379
00:21:52,210 --> 00:21:58,870
Okay. Ten, nine, eight, seven, six,
five, four,
380
00:21:59,250 --> 00:22:01,270
three, two, one.
29591
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.