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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,473 --> 00:00:08,442 ("THERE'S NO BUSINESS LIKE SHOW BUSINESS" PLAYING) 2 00:00:15,483 --> 00:00:18,886 ♪ There's no business Like show business ♪ 3 00:00:19,019 --> 00:00:22,790 ♪ Like no business I know ♪ 4 00:00:22,923 --> 00:00:26,427 ♪ Everything about it Is appealing ♪ 5 00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:29,863 ♪ Everything the traffic Will allow ♪ 6 00:00:29,997 --> 00:00:32,866 ♪ Nowhere could you get That happy feeling ♪ 7 00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:36,604 ♪ When you are stealing That extra bow ♪ 8 00:00:36,737 --> 00:00:40,608 ♪ There's no people Like show people ♪ 9 00:00:40,741 --> 00:00:44,178 ♪ They smile When they are low ♪ 10 00:00:44,312 --> 00:00:47,748 ♪ Yesterday they told you You would not go far ♪ 11 00:00:47,881 --> 00:00:51,419 ♪ That night you open And there you are ♪ 12 00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:53,154 ♪ Next day On your dressing room ♪ 13 00:00:53,287 --> 00:00:54,555 ♪ They've hung a star ♪ 14 00:00:54,688 --> 00:00:59,460 ♪ Let's go on with the show ♪ 15 00:00:59,827 --> 00:01:03,264 ♪ Let's go ♪ 16 00:01:03,397 --> 00:01:10,471 ♪ On with the show ♪ 17 00:01:16,510 --> 00:01:17,378 Say what now? 18 00:01:17,511 --> 00:01:20,748 Vaginas make his flesh creep. 19 00:01:22,150 --> 00:01:24,752 What-- What class was this for? 20 00:01:24,885 --> 00:01:26,254 PE. 21 00:01:27,855 --> 00:01:30,558 Whose vagina is he talking about? 22 00:01:30,691 --> 00:01:32,059 General vaginas. 23 00:01:32,193 --> 00:01:33,927 So... Wait. 24 00:01:34,828 --> 00:01:36,530 You went to PE? 25 00:01:36,664 --> 00:01:40,434 It was a class on CPR. They were discussing anginas. 26 00:01:40,568 --> 00:01:43,471 So, he thought they said vaginas! 27 00:01:44,605 --> 00:01:47,441 Oh, I mean, he isn't exactly sexually active. 28 00:01:47,575 --> 00:01:50,711 He hasn't even seen one. We talk about sex all the time. 29 00:01:50,844 --> 00:01:52,880 - Usually during carpool. - Mr. Smart-- 30 00:01:53,013 --> 00:01:54,215 Which is why my mom drives us now. 31 00:01:54,348 --> 00:01:56,450 In history class, Les was assigned 32 00:01:56,584 --> 00:01:59,119 one page on Manifest Destiny. 33 00:01:59,253 --> 00:02:00,754 Instead, he turned in 34 00:02:00,888 --> 00:02:02,956 a nine-page Wizard of Oz musical 35 00:02:03,090 --> 00:02:06,427 set in the French Revolution he calls "Les Wiz." 36 00:02:06,727 --> 00:02:08,729 I'm sorry. I'm trying to understand. 37 00:02:09,363 --> 00:02:11,465 Aren't nine pages better than one? 38 00:02:11,599 --> 00:02:13,567 That wasn't the assignment. 39 00:02:13,701 --> 00:02:15,803 Les, would you please step outside? 40 00:02:19,773 --> 00:02:21,842 Like it's my fault vaginas make my flesh creep. 41 00:02:21,975 --> 00:02:23,411 You haven't seen one yet! 42 00:02:23,544 --> 00:02:25,012 It's because he hasn't seen one yet. 43 00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:26,547 Mr. Smart, 44 00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:30,751 you may need to consider the possibility that Les... 45 00:02:31,452 --> 00:02:33,187 is homosexual. 46 00:02:34,188 --> 00:02:38,158 That is a remarkable statement. 47 00:02:38,626 --> 00:02:40,261 You know I'm in theater, right? 48 00:02:40,394 --> 00:02:42,796 For a living. I produce regional theater. 49 00:02:42,930 --> 00:02:44,164 I don't see what that has to do with-- 50 00:02:44,298 --> 00:02:46,300 Uh, just follow the plot. 51 00:02:47,201 --> 00:02:49,570 Theater teaches empathy. 52 00:02:49,703 --> 00:02:52,340 We don't care if someone's black or white-- 53 00:02:52,473 --> 00:02:53,641 Neither do we. 54 00:02:53,774 --> 00:02:55,809 Don't care if they are gay or straight... 55 00:02:55,943 --> 00:02:59,046 - Neither do we. - Rich, poor, thin, fat-- 56 00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:00,314 Neither do we! 57 00:03:00,448 --> 00:03:03,351 We don't care who they happen to love, 58 00:03:03,484 --> 00:03:06,920 or have sex with, Mrs. Franklin. 59 00:03:08,489 --> 00:03:10,157 As long as they are talented-- 60 00:03:10,291 --> 00:03:11,492 Christian. 61 00:03:13,294 --> 00:03:14,528 - Talented. - Christian. 62 00:03:17,531 --> 00:03:18,699 - Talented. - Christian. 63 00:03:19,467 --> 00:03:21,502 (DOOR OPENS) 64 00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:26,674 (MAN) You know, Les, I've always felt deeply sorry 65 00:03:26,807 --> 00:03:28,909 for people who couldn't appreciate me. 66 00:03:29,710 --> 00:03:33,113 (LES) Noël Coward, 1899 to 1973! 67 00:03:33,247 --> 00:03:35,549 I was from Teddington, Middlesex, you see. 68 00:03:35,683 --> 00:03:38,686 Have you ever played Teddington, Middlesex? 69 00:03:38,952 --> 00:03:40,187 Not yet. 70 00:03:40,321 --> 00:03:43,357 Well, if you do, just make the best of it. 71 00:03:43,491 --> 00:03:47,661 My point is, Les, I was a boy actor like you. 72 00:03:48,296 --> 00:03:51,832 You and I think differently than other boys and girls. 73 00:03:51,965 --> 00:03:56,337 I'd like to fit in, Noël. But I don't know how, I guess. 74 00:03:56,470 --> 00:03:58,572 It didn't bother me in the least. 75 00:04:00,140 --> 00:04:01,742 I call bullshit. 76 00:04:04,011 --> 00:04:06,947 I never cared who scored the goal, 77 00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:09,950 or which side won the silver cup. 78 00:04:10,418 --> 00:04:13,253 I never learned to bat or bowl. 79 00:04:13,654 --> 00:04:16,990 But I heard the curtain going up! 80 00:04:17,458 --> 00:04:19,059 (FATHER GROANS) 81 00:04:19,293 --> 00:04:20,494 (CHUCKLES) 82 00:04:20,794 --> 00:04:23,130 Come on, Les. Let's go pick up your mother and brother. 83 00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:25,433 (BELL RINGS) 84 00:04:26,367 --> 00:04:28,068 (DOOR OPENS) 85 00:04:28,201 --> 00:04:30,338 I hate this school. No one gets me. 86 00:04:30,904 --> 00:04:33,374 You're a weirdo. It's not their fault. 87 00:04:34,342 --> 00:04:35,476 Wait till you get to high school. 88 00:04:35,609 --> 00:04:37,311 You'll find your people. 89 00:04:37,545 --> 00:04:38,912 Derrick likes high school. 90 00:04:39,046 --> 00:04:40,914 Derrick likes pushing the button in elevators. 91 00:04:41,048 --> 00:04:43,351 Well, you're more complicated than your brother. 92 00:04:43,484 --> 00:04:44,918 You're an artist, like me. 93 00:04:45,052 --> 00:04:47,988 But Derrick's popular. You gave Derrick a popular name. 94 00:04:48,121 --> 00:04:50,123 You actually gave me a name with no value. 95 00:04:50,257 --> 00:04:51,625 Les-- 96 00:04:51,759 --> 00:04:53,494 If dirt were a name, you would've called me dirt. 97 00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:56,464 Nice. Clever and dramatic. 98 00:04:56,797 --> 00:04:58,932 You'll be happy too. It's inevitable. 99 00:05:00,368 --> 00:05:02,035 Were you popular in middle school? 100 00:05:02,169 --> 00:05:03,537 (SCOFFS) 101 00:05:03,671 --> 00:05:06,073 Five people are popular in middle school, Dirt. 102 00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:08,542 I already knew I wanted 103 00:05:08,676 --> 00:05:10,811 to produce shows on Broadway when I was your age. 104 00:05:10,944 --> 00:05:12,980 Who wants to do that in middle school? 105 00:05:13,113 --> 00:05:14,748 Talk about weirdos. 106 00:05:14,882 --> 00:05:15,983 (CAR HONKS) 107 00:05:17,385 --> 00:05:19,620 Does it bother you it never happened? 108 00:05:23,891 --> 00:05:27,461 Things change on a dime in show business. 109 00:05:27,595 --> 00:05:29,630 It could still happen, you'll see. 110 00:05:30,798 --> 00:05:31,799 Come on. 111 00:05:34,802 --> 00:05:37,337 Vaginas scared me too at first. 112 00:05:37,738 --> 00:05:41,341 Don't worry about it. Vaginas will grow on you. 113 00:05:41,475 --> 00:05:42,876 ("GIVE MY REGARDS TO BROADWAY" PLAYING) 114 00:05:43,010 --> 00:05:45,946 ♪ Give my regards to Broadway ♪ 115 00:05:46,079 --> 00:05:49,683 ♪ Remember me To Herald Square ♪ 116 00:05:49,817 --> 00:05:52,886 ♪ Tell all the gang At Forty-Second Street ♪ 117 00:05:53,020 --> 00:05:54,522 ♪ That I will soon be there ♪ 118 00:05:54,655 --> 00:05:57,658 Buddy, you need to talk with your son. 119 00:05:58,759 --> 00:06:00,327 Why are they mine when they're in trouble? 120 00:06:00,461 --> 00:06:02,763 Ernie Saracino wants to quit. 121 00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:04,465 Les. 122 00:06:04,598 --> 00:06:05,666 Why is it me? It could be Derrick. 123 00:06:05,799 --> 00:06:07,334 He says Les just arbitrarily 124 00:06:07,468 --> 00:06:09,136 sneaks into scenes during the show. 125 00:06:09,269 --> 00:06:10,671 I didn't sneak. 126 00:06:10,804 --> 00:06:12,473 I told him I really think I should be in more scenes. 127 00:06:12,606 --> 00:06:14,274 You're not the director. You can't-- 128 00:06:14,408 --> 00:06:15,676 It's Fiddler on the Roof. 129 00:06:15,809 --> 00:06:17,845 I'm pretty sure there were children in Anatevka. 130 00:06:17,978 --> 00:06:19,312 Ernie Saracino is the best, 131 00:06:19,447 --> 00:06:21,214 least expensive director we have. 132 00:06:21,348 --> 00:06:22,650 We cannot afford to lose him. 133 00:06:22,783 --> 00:06:25,085 And he's tired of you upstaging everyone. 134 00:06:26,454 --> 00:06:27,421 Derrick almost lost his virginity. 135 00:06:27,555 --> 00:06:28,689 - Hey! - Almost? 136 00:06:28,822 --> 00:06:29,990 How almost? 137 00:06:30,123 --> 00:06:31,391 - Her name's Annabeth Devine. - Shut up! 138 00:06:31,525 --> 00:06:33,927 Maybe Anna Bess. (LISPING) She lisps. 139 00:06:34,061 --> 00:06:35,563 Well, invite her over for dinner. 140 00:06:35,696 --> 00:06:36,897 We'd all like to meet her. 141 00:06:37,030 --> 00:06:38,365 (SCOFFS) No. 142 00:06:38,499 --> 00:06:40,801 No? It's not like you're embarrassed by us or anything. 143 00:06:41,134 --> 00:06:42,570 Dad, of course I am. 144 00:06:43,203 --> 00:06:46,707 Well, then bring her by the theater on a matinee day. 145 00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:48,175 She won't even know we're checking her out. 146 00:06:48,308 --> 00:06:50,944 (SCOFFS) No one I know wants to go to the theater. 147 00:06:51,078 --> 00:06:53,213 God, I don't even want to be at the theater matinee days. 148 00:06:53,346 --> 00:06:54,648 I-I'd rather do football. 149 00:06:54,782 --> 00:06:56,083 - Okay? They're having-- - That's just a phase. 150 00:06:56,216 --> 00:06:57,918 I could easily make the team at this school. 151 00:06:58,051 --> 00:07:00,087 It's not my rule, there are eight shows a week. 152 00:07:00,220 --> 00:07:01,254 That's just the way it is. 153 00:07:01,388 --> 00:07:02,222 I'm not doing any more musicals. 154 00:07:02,355 --> 00:07:04,024 You are not the only 16-year-old 155 00:07:04,157 --> 00:07:05,759 who has to work in the family business. 156 00:07:05,893 --> 00:07:06,727 You don't even pay me. 157 00:07:06,860 --> 00:07:08,195 Well, you're not very good. 158 00:07:09,630 --> 00:07:11,198 Just bring her over for dinner. 159 00:07:11,331 --> 00:07:12,900 Uh, no, better yet, 160 00:07:13,033 --> 00:07:14,735 we'll be having auditions at the house 161 00:07:14,868 --> 00:07:16,403 for Raisin in the Sun soon. 162 00:07:16,537 --> 00:07:18,606 Bring her by then. She will love it. 163 00:07:18,739 --> 00:07:21,141 She won't, Dad. She's normal. 164 00:07:21,441 --> 00:07:22,910 She'll grow out of it. 165 00:07:23,043 --> 00:07:25,345 (WOMAN) We'll stay with your Uncle Abram! 166 00:07:26,013 --> 00:07:28,148 (MAN) We're staying with your Uncle Abrams! 167 00:07:28,281 --> 00:07:30,350 We're staying with your Uncle Abrams! 168 00:07:30,484 --> 00:07:31,619 The whole world has to know our business! 169 00:07:31,752 --> 00:07:32,820 (CROWD LAUGHTER) 170 00:07:32,953 --> 00:07:34,087 Stop yelling and start packing. 171 00:07:34,221 --> 00:07:35,923 (MAN) I don't need your advice, Golde. 172 00:07:36,056 --> 00:07:37,190 (LAUGHTER) 173 00:07:37,324 --> 00:07:39,993 We have a train to catch, and a boat. 174 00:07:40,260 --> 00:07:43,897 Children, put the bundles on the wagon. 175 00:07:44,598 --> 00:07:45,999 Work hard, Motel. 176 00:07:46,734 --> 00:07:48,201 Come to us soon. 177 00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:51,138 (WOMAN) Go on. Do it! 178 00:07:51,772 --> 00:07:54,808 Why go through life unnoticed? 179 00:07:54,942 --> 00:07:58,546 (LES) Ruth Gordon, 1896 to 1985. 180 00:07:58,712 --> 00:08:00,981 Which scene are you crashing? 181 00:08:01,882 --> 00:08:03,450 I promised my dad I wouldn't. 182 00:08:03,584 --> 00:08:06,954 Well, some days, you have to lie. 183 00:08:08,989 --> 00:08:10,991 This next scene's the one I really wanna get into. 184 00:08:11,124 --> 00:08:13,460 They're forced to leave their little village of Anatevka. 185 00:08:13,627 --> 00:08:15,663 So they stand in a circle holding hands, 186 00:08:15,796 --> 00:08:17,598 then let go and go their separate ways. 187 00:08:17,731 --> 00:08:18,899 It's symbolic. 188 00:08:19,032 --> 00:08:20,534 Terrific! 189 00:08:20,734 --> 00:08:21,969 But I don't know how to get in the circle 190 00:08:22,102 --> 00:08:24,004 'cause they're holding hands. 191 00:08:24,137 --> 00:08:26,840 Just do it. You'll figure it out. 192 00:08:27,307 --> 00:08:30,143 You gotta go out there and show 'em what you got. 193 00:08:33,881 --> 00:08:35,816 (DISTANT CHATTER AND LAUGHTER) 194 00:08:35,983 --> 00:08:38,318 Don't worry about Ernie Saracino. 195 00:08:38,451 --> 00:08:39,687 What can he do? 196 00:08:39,820 --> 00:08:42,522 Go on. Make it great. 197 00:08:42,656 --> 00:08:45,458 Bring the scene up to your great level. 198 00:08:45,593 --> 00:08:47,995 Go! Go! 199 00:08:55,603 --> 00:08:57,705 What the hell are you doing? 200 00:08:59,006 --> 00:09:00,841 (VOICE CRACKING) I'm leaving Anatevka! 201 00:09:03,644 --> 00:09:04,377 (MOTHER) Honey, our electric bill 202 00:09:04,511 --> 00:09:05,846 is killing us. 203 00:09:05,979 --> 00:09:07,715 Couldn't we raise the temp in the theater a bit? 204 00:09:07,848 --> 00:09:10,217 It doesn't need to be like a morgue in there. 205 00:09:10,784 --> 00:09:12,485 (BUDDY) Cold keeps the audience alert. 206 00:09:12,620 --> 00:09:14,788 And it keeps us in debt. 207 00:09:15,222 --> 00:09:17,424 - Let's just go to sleep. - (SIGHS) 208 00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:20,027 Seems to me the only thing we ever fight about is money. 209 00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:23,764 Well, I'm an American. And I love money. 210 00:09:26,033 --> 00:09:27,134 Honestly, though, 211 00:09:27,267 --> 00:09:28,936 you know what I'm afraid of, Buddy? 212 00:09:29,436 --> 00:09:31,104 Silence? 213 00:09:33,106 --> 00:09:36,677 Look, we are rich in other ways. 214 00:09:36,810 --> 00:09:38,812 And I've got some coals in the fire. 215 00:09:38,946 --> 00:09:41,749 Big things are coming. (CLUCKS TONGUE) 216 00:09:48,555 --> 00:09:51,024 - I saw Reverend Jackson. - Mace-- 217 00:09:51,158 --> 00:09:53,894 Millions of people find comfort in God. 218 00:09:54,027 --> 00:09:55,262 You act like it's just me. 219 00:09:55,395 --> 00:09:58,231 I just don't want to be associated with it. 220 00:09:58,565 --> 00:10:02,736 I was raised by two of the meanest, churchiest women-- 221 00:10:02,870 --> 00:10:05,939 I'm not your horrible dead aunts, I'm your wife. 222 00:10:06,073 --> 00:10:08,575 And if you loved me, you would at least be open to it. 223 00:10:08,709 --> 00:10:10,811 But if you loved me, you wouldn't try to change me. 224 00:10:10,944 --> 00:10:13,013 It's because I love you, Buddy. 225 00:10:13,146 --> 00:10:16,416 It would break my heart to watch you die without God. 226 00:10:16,984 --> 00:10:19,119 Sweetie, who says I'm going first? 227 00:10:19,552 --> 00:10:22,690 - Mm. (LAUGHS) - Hmm? 228 00:10:23,356 --> 00:10:26,526 Honestly, I thought I would've worn you down by now. 229 00:10:27,327 --> 00:10:29,963 The thought of you in purgatory terrifies me. 230 00:10:31,498 --> 00:10:32,966 (MACY SIGHS) 231 00:10:33,100 --> 00:10:35,102 - Goodnight. - Oh. Stop talking. 232 00:10:35,235 --> 00:10:37,137 You don't always get to have the last word, you know? 233 00:10:37,270 --> 00:10:38,906 - You're right. - Then stop talking. 234 00:10:39,039 --> 00:10:40,173 - I am. - I mean it. 235 00:10:40,307 --> 00:10:42,475 - I know. - Don't say any more. (CHUCKLES) 236 00:10:42,609 --> 00:10:43,811 - I won't. - Oh... 237 00:10:44,712 --> 00:10:47,480 (LAUGHS) I have to sleep. 238 00:10:47,614 --> 00:10:50,483 I have to get up early to make the boys' lunches. 239 00:10:59,359 --> 00:11:01,328 (BUDDY SIGHS) 240 00:11:03,463 --> 00:11:06,066 - Sweet dreams. - I knew you were gonna do that! 241 00:11:07,467 --> 00:11:09,436 (BAGPIPES PLAYING) 242 00:11:13,406 --> 00:11:14,374 (MACY) Hey! 243 00:11:15,275 --> 00:11:16,376 Hey! 244 00:11:16,509 --> 00:11:17,677 Hey! 245 00:11:17,811 --> 00:11:19,212 Honest to Betsy! 246 00:11:19,346 --> 00:11:21,348 Do you have to play that thing where we can hear it? 247 00:11:21,481 --> 00:11:24,084 Mom, I have to practice, or I'll never sound good. 248 00:11:24,217 --> 00:11:27,788 You'll never sound good 'cause you're playing a bagpipe. 249 00:11:27,921 --> 00:11:29,890 Bagpipes sound like a mistake. 250 00:11:30,157 --> 00:11:32,960 Well, who were we bothering? We're making music. 251 00:11:33,093 --> 00:11:34,895 That is not music! 252 00:11:35,028 --> 00:11:36,864 Those things sounded lousy on stage. 253 00:11:36,997 --> 00:11:38,331 They sound worse in life. 254 00:11:38,465 --> 00:11:40,233 Les, come in and get ready for school. 255 00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:41,701 (BAGPIPE TOOTS) 256 00:11:41,835 --> 00:11:45,072 I will call the police on you myself, I swear it. 257 00:11:45,205 --> 00:11:46,573 (BUDDY) Can you at least take joy 258 00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:49,509 in the fact of knowing that any minute we might stop? 259 00:11:52,445 --> 00:11:53,981 On with the show. 260 00:11:56,216 --> 00:11:58,185 (BAGPIPES PLAYING) 261 00:11:58,318 --> 00:12:00,287 (DOGS BARKING) 262 00:12:12,565 --> 00:12:14,067 (SIGHS) 263 00:12:14,902 --> 00:12:16,069 (STUDENT) Hey. 264 00:12:17,905 --> 00:12:19,139 I was just wondering, 265 00:12:19,272 --> 00:12:20,874 how come you never play sports after school? 266 00:12:21,008 --> 00:12:22,843 I work at my parents' theater. 267 00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:24,244 Theater? 268 00:12:25,378 --> 00:12:27,514 I thought theater's just for fags. 269 00:12:27,948 --> 00:12:29,382 Not just. 270 00:12:29,516 --> 00:12:30,884 Are you a fag? 271 00:12:31,384 --> 00:12:34,054 Actually, are you a boy or a girl? 272 00:12:36,023 --> 00:12:37,791 You know you're going to hell, right, faggot? 273 00:12:37,925 --> 00:12:40,961 You and all of your AIDS-y fag friends are gonna burn in hell. 274 00:12:43,163 --> 00:12:45,665 ♪ Sodomy ♪ 275 00:12:45,799 --> 00:12:48,401 ♪ Fellatio ♪ 276 00:12:48,535 --> 00:12:50,603 ♪ Cunnilingus ♪ 277 00:12:50,737 --> 00:12:54,241 ♪ Why do these words Sound so nasty? ♪ 278 00:12:54,374 --> 00:12:57,010 Hair, 1967. 279 00:12:57,144 --> 00:13:00,981 Galt McDermot, James Rado, Gerome Ragni, asshole. 280 00:13:01,114 --> 00:13:02,215 You tell 'em, Les. 281 00:13:02,349 --> 00:13:03,750 It's the age of Aquarius, man. 282 00:13:03,884 --> 00:13:06,119 Let the sunshine in, you turd. 283 00:13:06,820 --> 00:13:09,122 You are so fucking weird. 284 00:13:10,891 --> 00:13:12,359 Yes, I am! 285 00:13:14,327 --> 00:13:15,495 (SIGHS) 286 00:13:15,829 --> 00:13:18,598 (BELL RINGS) 287 00:13:19,099 --> 00:13:20,333 For what we are about to receive, 288 00:13:20,467 --> 00:13:22,402 may the Lord make us truly grateful. 289 00:13:22,535 --> 00:13:23,536 Amen. 290 00:13:24,771 --> 00:13:28,575 Uh, I have an announcement. 291 00:13:30,043 --> 00:13:31,278 Two words. 292 00:13:33,446 --> 00:13:34,447 You ready? 293 00:13:35,115 --> 00:13:36,316 Were those them? 294 00:13:37,350 --> 00:13:38,351 No. 295 00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:41,588 New Jersey. 296 00:13:41,721 --> 00:13:43,056 (GASPS) Oh, my God! 297 00:13:44,324 --> 00:13:45,859 I haven't even said what's in New Jersey. 298 00:13:45,993 --> 00:13:47,394 Les, what-- what are you doing? 299 00:13:48,161 --> 00:13:49,930 Just being supportive. 300 00:13:50,430 --> 00:13:51,598 Uh, okay. 301 00:13:52,032 --> 00:13:54,234 So, I talked with Ed Monroe. 302 00:13:54,367 --> 00:13:57,670 The Barn Theater in New Jersey is ours if we want it. 303 00:13:58,271 --> 00:14:00,373 Now it's a family decision. We all get to vote-- 304 00:14:00,507 --> 00:14:02,075 No, we're not moving to New Jersey. 305 00:14:02,209 --> 00:14:03,776 That's actually a good theater! Like, 1100 seats. 306 00:14:03,911 --> 00:14:05,245 - How much are they paying us? - Well-- 307 00:14:05,378 --> 00:14:07,380 No, I-I-- Dad, I like it here. Okay? 308 00:14:07,514 --> 00:14:09,983 I-I like my friends. I like my school. 309 00:14:10,117 --> 00:14:12,319 I have a girlfriend, okay? I can't like... 310 00:14:12,452 --> 00:14:13,286 What's the point of doing anything 311 00:14:13,420 --> 00:14:14,554 if we always have to start over? 312 00:14:14,687 --> 00:14:16,389 Derrick, The Barn is a summer theater. 313 00:14:16,523 --> 00:14:17,857 We'd be back in the fall. 314 00:14:17,991 --> 00:14:19,292 - Ding, ding, ding! - So, I got plans this summer. 315 00:14:19,426 --> 00:14:20,660 - Les. Can you... - What? 316 00:14:20,793 --> 00:14:23,196 You didn't even let me get to the fun part. 317 00:14:23,563 --> 00:14:24,965 Milwaukee! 318 00:14:25,098 --> 00:14:27,434 - Oh, my God! - (SIGHS) 319 00:14:30,037 --> 00:14:31,204 Ed also owns 320 00:14:31,338 --> 00:14:33,106 the Players Theater in Milwaukee. 321 00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:35,542 Now if we do enough business this summer, 322 00:14:36,309 --> 00:14:37,444 he's going to offer us 323 00:14:37,577 --> 00:14:39,947 a five-year contract for both theaters. 324 00:14:41,681 --> 00:14:43,316 No more season to season! 325 00:14:43,450 --> 00:14:44,784 That sounds too good to be true. 326 00:14:44,918 --> 00:14:46,219 - (LAUGHING) Yes! - Wait. 327 00:14:46,353 --> 00:14:47,187 What if we don't do enough business at The Barn? 328 00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:49,156 Well, then we're screwed. 329 00:14:51,158 --> 00:14:53,226 If we all decide to go to The Barn, 330 00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:56,529 then I have to give notice here so they have time to replace me. 331 00:14:56,964 --> 00:14:59,599 And if we don't do 332 00:14:59,732 --> 00:15:02,569 enough business this summer, then we end up with... 333 00:15:03,203 --> 00:15:04,737 (POPS) ...nothing. 334 00:15:04,871 --> 00:15:06,706 Of course. When is it ever easy? 335 00:15:06,839 --> 00:15:08,408 I-I-I vote no. Okay? 336 00:15:08,541 --> 00:15:09,576 Enough. 337 00:15:09,709 --> 00:15:11,811 I... All I wanna do is play football 338 00:15:11,945 --> 00:15:13,080 and lose my virginity. 339 00:15:13,313 --> 00:15:14,847 That's not asking a lot. 340 00:15:14,982 --> 00:15:16,049 And I can't do either of those things 341 00:15:16,183 --> 00:15:17,684 if I'm constantly moving around. 342 00:15:17,817 --> 00:15:18,918 I like it here. 343 00:15:19,052 --> 00:15:20,587 Okay? Please, just... 344 00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:22,355 Les, how do you vote? 345 00:15:23,523 --> 00:15:24,857 I vote... 346 00:15:25,492 --> 00:15:28,161 that we leave this ugly town. 347 00:15:28,295 --> 00:15:30,697 Okay, so we have one voting to stay, one to leave. 348 00:15:30,830 --> 00:15:31,898 You little shit. 349 00:15:32,032 --> 00:15:33,033 Don't say "shit" when we're eating. 350 00:15:33,166 --> 00:15:35,235 Nobody likes me here, okay? 351 00:15:35,368 --> 00:15:37,004 Derrick, and you can play football anywhere. 352 00:15:37,337 --> 00:15:39,272 You can do better than Annabeth Devine. 353 00:15:39,406 --> 00:15:40,740 I didn't wanna tell you this, 354 00:15:40,873 --> 00:15:42,609 but she told me her favorite Marx brother was Curly. 355 00:15:42,742 --> 00:15:44,077 Guess what? I don't give a shit who 356 00:15:44,211 --> 00:15:45,578 - her favorite Marx brother is. - Derrick. 357 00:15:45,712 --> 00:15:47,547 Curly isn't a Marx brother. He's Three Stooges! 358 00:15:47,680 --> 00:15:48,982 That's very telling. 359 00:15:49,116 --> 00:15:50,950 What do you think, Mace, huh? 360 00:15:51,084 --> 00:15:52,885 I mean, no pressure. 361 00:15:53,020 --> 00:15:55,322 This is just our entire future. 362 00:15:55,455 --> 00:15:56,556 Well, I know how you're gonna vote, 363 00:15:56,689 --> 00:15:58,791 and I know how you want me to vote. 364 00:15:59,993 --> 00:16:01,894 (MACY EXHALES) 365 00:16:02,329 --> 00:16:04,531 You're quite adorable when you get keyed up. 366 00:16:04,731 --> 00:16:06,666 Oh! I know it. 367 00:16:06,799 --> 00:16:09,002 You're the biggest liar. You only ever think of yourself! 368 00:16:09,136 --> 00:16:10,770 No. That's not true. 369 00:16:10,903 --> 00:16:12,105 Just last night, I was up late 370 00:16:12,239 --> 00:16:14,774 imagining what it must feel like to be you. 371 00:16:16,876 --> 00:16:19,512 But then, I got so bored. 372 00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:21,081 - (SHOUTS) - (YELPS) 373 00:16:21,214 --> 00:16:23,016 - Five years? - Yeah. 374 00:16:23,150 --> 00:16:24,651 We could have real lives. 375 00:16:24,784 --> 00:16:25,985 Yes! 376 00:16:26,119 --> 00:16:27,154 - Wow! But... - (LES SCREAMS) 377 00:16:27,287 --> 00:16:28,421 You little asshole! 378 00:16:28,555 --> 00:16:29,689 - No, uh-uh, no, Derrick! - Come here! 379 00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:31,524 I'm just, I'm so afraid to be hopeful. 380 00:16:31,658 --> 00:16:33,793 This could be the biggest mistake we've ever made. 381 00:16:33,926 --> 00:16:37,430 But Milwaukee could lead to bigger cities. 382 00:16:37,697 --> 00:16:40,967 Our name could finally mean something. 383 00:16:41,268 --> 00:16:42,669 This is what we've been waiting for. 384 00:16:42,802 --> 00:16:45,138 But if it doesn't work, I mean... (GASPS) 385 00:16:45,272 --> 00:16:47,440 Honey, we'd be living in the car. 386 00:16:47,574 --> 00:16:49,709 That's a new low, even for us. 387 00:16:49,876 --> 00:16:52,345 Mace, it could be great. 388 00:16:53,713 --> 00:16:55,082 Well... (SIGHS) 389 00:16:55,448 --> 00:16:57,750 Great is the way I like it. (CHUCKLES WEAKLY) 390 00:17:03,223 --> 00:17:04,857 (CHEERS AND LAUGHS) 391 00:17:04,991 --> 00:17:05,992 Yes! 392 00:17:06,126 --> 00:17:07,994 (BOTH CHEERING AND LAUGHING) 393 00:17:08,295 --> 00:17:10,630 Mwah! Oh, yes! Yes! Yes! 394 00:17:10,763 --> 00:17:13,200 - (MUFFLED MUSIC) - (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 395 00:17:13,333 --> 00:17:14,567 (BUDDY) Derrick? 396 00:17:15,335 --> 00:17:17,837 (MUFFLED MUSIC CONTINUES) 397 00:17:25,112 --> 00:17:26,713 I know you're upset. 398 00:17:27,080 --> 00:17:28,748 I'm not upset. 399 00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:30,750 - I'm not going. - (MUFFLED MUSIC STOPS) 400 00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:32,819 I'll stay here with Annabeth's family. 401 00:17:32,952 --> 00:17:35,455 That is never going to happen. 402 00:17:35,588 --> 00:17:37,357 I got a job at Foot Locker. 403 00:17:37,490 --> 00:17:39,359 I'll stay with her family, pay her family rent. 404 00:17:39,492 --> 00:17:41,528 I'll stay in school. I'm almost 18 anyway. 405 00:17:41,661 --> 00:17:42,662 You're 16. 406 00:17:42,795 --> 00:17:43,763 I'm happy here. 407 00:17:43,896 --> 00:17:45,031 You're gonna be happy there too. 408 00:17:45,165 --> 00:17:46,566 I'm happy here. 409 00:17:46,699 --> 00:17:48,735 Okay? I hate always saying goodbye to everyone. 410 00:17:48,868 --> 00:17:51,104 Well, you won't have to say goodbye for five years. 411 00:17:51,238 --> 00:17:53,039 If we even make it there! 412 00:17:53,173 --> 00:17:55,975 This is yours, Les and Mom's dream. 413 00:17:56,343 --> 00:17:57,744 Theater, it's all right, 414 00:17:57,877 --> 00:18:00,012 except it's bullshit. It's not real. 415 00:18:00,147 --> 00:18:03,216 Real is so overrated, Derrick. 416 00:18:03,350 --> 00:18:04,751 I-I-I have a girlfriend here. You-- 417 00:18:04,884 --> 00:18:06,619 You'll have a dozen girlfriends. 418 00:18:06,753 --> 00:18:08,988 And that's life. You don't-- You don't stop at the first one. 419 00:18:09,122 --> 00:18:11,658 So I should just sleep around? Is that what you're telling me? 420 00:18:12,559 --> 00:18:14,461 - Yes. - (SCOFFS) 421 00:18:14,594 --> 00:18:16,629 I wish someone would've told me. 422 00:18:16,896 --> 00:18:19,832 Look, Derrick, you're a great looking kid... 423 00:18:19,966 --> 00:18:21,201 You're not listening. 424 00:18:21,334 --> 00:18:22,502 That's the last thing I think about, you know? 425 00:18:22,635 --> 00:18:24,671 Did you know that more Playboy Playmates 426 00:18:24,804 --> 00:18:28,175 come out of Milwaukee than any other town? 427 00:18:28,608 --> 00:18:30,977 Dad, you can't just make things up 428 00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:32,445 and then think that they're true. 429 00:18:33,079 --> 00:18:37,083 Derrick, you have to dream things into happening. 430 00:18:37,217 --> 00:18:39,752 You have to dream bigger than you are. 431 00:18:39,886 --> 00:18:43,323 And you have to find work that you love, 432 00:18:43,456 --> 00:18:46,993 and then you bring that love into work with you. 433 00:18:47,594 --> 00:18:51,264 (STAMMERS) Who would rather work at the Foot Locker 434 00:18:51,398 --> 00:18:53,666 when you could work in the theater? 435 00:18:55,968 --> 00:18:57,337 Me! 436 00:18:57,737 --> 00:18:58,771 (SCOFFS) 437 00:18:58,905 --> 00:19:02,475 ("WALK OF LIFE" BY DIRE STRAITS PLAYING) 438 00:19:02,609 --> 00:19:05,111 Thirteen, fourteen. All bags are accounted for. 439 00:19:05,245 --> 00:19:06,446 You gonna be okay there, Annabeth? 440 00:19:06,579 --> 00:19:08,815 - (SOBS) - Okay then. 441 00:19:12,419 --> 00:19:14,987 Goodbye, Akron. I will not be back. 442 00:19:15,121 --> 00:19:16,856 There are places I like better. 443 00:19:16,989 --> 00:19:20,793 Derrick, come on. Chop, chop. Get the show on the road. 444 00:19:22,061 --> 00:19:24,964 ("WALK OF LIFE" BY DIRE STRAITS CONTINUES) 445 00:19:25,097 --> 00:19:26,999 (HORN HONKS) 446 00:19:33,273 --> 00:19:36,075 ♪ Here comes Johnny Singing oldies goldies ♪ 447 00:19:36,209 --> 00:19:38,811 ♪ "Be-Bop-A-Lula" "Baby What I Say" ♪ 448 00:19:38,945 --> 00:19:41,614 ♪ Here comes Johnny Singing "I Got a Woman" ♪ 449 00:19:41,748 --> 00:19:44,717 ♪ Down in the tunnels Trying to make it pay ♪ 450 00:19:44,851 --> 00:19:47,587 ♪ He got the action He got the motion ♪ 451 00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:50,189 ♪ Oh, yeah The boy can play ♪ 452 00:19:50,523 --> 00:19:52,859 ♪ Dedication Devotion ♪ 453 00:19:52,992 --> 00:19:55,161 ♪ Turning all the night time Into the day ♪ 454 00:19:55,295 --> 00:19:57,664 ♪ He do the song About the sweet lovin' woman ♪ 455 00:19:57,997 --> 00:19:59,599 ♪ He do the song About the knife ♪ 456 00:19:59,732 --> 00:20:00,667 (MUSIC MUFFLES) 457 00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:03,169 ♪ They do the walk ♪ 458 00:20:03,303 --> 00:20:05,104 What's our address out there? 459 00:20:05,572 --> 00:20:08,308 - Hmm... - We're not exactly sure. 460 00:20:08,808 --> 00:20:11,811 Remember Dee Baskin, who played Anybodys in West Side Story? 461 00:20:11,944 --> 00:20:13,680 - In real life too. - (CHUCKLES) 462 00:20:13,813 --> 00:20:16,616 She sells real estate in New Jersey now. 463 00:20:16,749 --> 00:20:19,886 We are going to stay in empty houses Dee Baskin's selling. 464 00:20:20,019 --> 00:20:21,554 (SCOFFS) Do the owners know? 465 00:20:21,688 --> 00:20:24,657 - (BOTH GROAN) - Great. We're squatters. 466 00:20:24,791 --> 00:20:25,992 We're enterprising. 467 00:20:26,125 --> 00:20:27,760 I'll just tell Annabeth to address her letters 468 00:20:27,894 --> 00:20:29,896 to "Empty houses Dee Baskin is selling." 469 00:20:30,029 --> 00:20:31,464 Derrick, you're handsome. 470 00:20:31,598 --> 00:20:33,065 You'll be single for an hour wherever we go. 471 00:20:33,199 --> 00:20:35,201 I don't give a red hot shit about how I look, okay? 472 00:20:35,335 --> 00:20:37,770 I wish everyone would just shut up about how I looked. 473 00:20:37,904 --> 00:20:39,205 - (LAUGHS) - What? 474 00:20:39,339 --> 00:20:41,073 Oh, my God, you got lipstick all over your face! 475 00:20:41,207 --> 00:20:42,809 - Shit. - (LAUGHS) 476 00:20:42,942 --> 00:20:44,311 Is it gone? 477 00:20:44,444 --> 00:20:45,745 - Oh, yeah. - Yeah. You got it. 478 00:20:45,878 --> 00:20:47,980 ("I AM THE VERY MODEL OF A MODERN MAJOR-GENERAL" PLAYING) 479 00:20:48,981 --> 00:20:51,751 ♪ I am the very model Of a modern Major-General ♪ 480 00:20:51,884 --> 00:20:54,421 ♪ I've information vegetable Animal and mineral ♪ 481 00:20:54,554 --> 00:20:55,822 ♪ I know the kings of England ♪ 482 00:20:55,955 --> 00:20:57,557 ♪ And I quote The fights historical ♪ 483 00:20:57,690 --> 00:21:00,059 ♪ From Marathon to Waterloo In order categorical ♪ 484 00:21:00,192 --> 00:21:01,894 Ha ha! 485 00:21:02,028 --> 00:21:04,797 ♪ I'm very well-acquainted too With matters mathematical ♪ 486 00:21:04,931 --> 00:21:06,232 ♪ I understand equations ♪ 487 00:21:06,366 --> 00:21:07,500 ♪ Both the simple And quadratical ♪ 488 00:21:07,634 --> 00:21:08,901 ♪ About binomial theorem ♪ 489 00:21:09,035 --> 00:21:11,371 ♪ I am teeming With a lot o' news ♪ 490 00:21:12,605 --> 00:21:13,606 Oh, yes. 491 00:21:13,740 --> 00:21:15,107 ♪ With many cheerful facts ♪ 492 00:21:15,241 --> 00:21:17,276 ♪ About the square Of the hypotenuse ♪ 493 00:21:17,410 --> 00:21:18,778 ♪ With many cheerful facts ♪ 494 00:21:18,911 --> 00:21:20,246 ♪ About the square Of the hypotenuse ♪ 495 00:21:20,380 --> 00:21:21,748 ♪ With many cheerful facts ♪ 496 00:21:21,881 --> 00:21:23,182 ♪ About the square Of the hypotenuse ♪ 497 00:21:23,316 --> 00:21:24,784 ♪ With many cheerful facts ♪ 498 00:21:24,917 --> 00:21:26,586 ♪ About the square Of the hypoten-potenuse ♪ 499 00:21:26,719 --> 00:21:28,688 - (ARPEGGIO PLAYS) - Mom! 500 00:21:28,821 --> 00:21:31,290 ♪ I'm very good at integral And differential calculus ♪ 501 00:21:31,424 --> 00:21:33,960 ♪ I know the scientific names Of beings animalculous ♪ 502 00:21:34,093 --> 00:21:36,729 ♪ In short in matters vegetable Animal and mineral ♪ 503 00:21:36,863 --> 00:21:39,131 ♪ I am the very model Of a modern Major-General ♪ 504 00:21:39,265 --> 00:21:41,901 ♪ In short in matters vegetable Animal and mineral ♪ 505 00:21:42,034 --> 00:21:45,137 ♪ He is the very model Of a modern Major-General ♪ 506 00:21:45,271 --> 00:21:46,506 - (CHUCKLES) - Derrick! 507 00:21:48,408 --> 00:21:49,576 (BUDDY) Derrick? 508 00:21:50,209 --> 00:21:51,378 (MACY) Derrick? 509 00:21:51,811 --> 00:21:53,380 - Oh, my God. - (SONG CONTINUES) 510 00:21:53,513 --> 00:21:54,747 (ACTOR) ♪ I know our mythic history ♪ 511 00:21:54,881 --> 00:21:55,915 ♪ King Arthur's And Sir Caradoc's ♪ 512 00:21:56,048 --> 00:21:57,484 ♪ I answer hard acrostics ♪ 513 00:21:57,617 --> 00:21:58,485 ♪ I've a pretty taste For paradox ♪ 514 00:21:58,618 --> 00:21:59,852 ♪ I quote in elegiacs ♪ 515 00:21:59,986 --> 00:22:01,488 ♪ All the crimes Of Heliogabalus ♪ 516 00:22:01,621 --> 00:22:04,290 ♪ In conics I can floor Peculiarities parabolous ♪ 517 00:22:04,424 --> 00:22:05,892 (PERSON COUGHS) 518 00:22:06,025 --> 00:22:07,427 ♪ I can tell Undoubted Raphaels ♪ 519 00:22:07,560 --> 00:22:08,928 ♪ From Gerard Dows And Zoffanies ♪ 520 00:22:09,061 --> 00:22:10,296 ♪ I know the croaking chorus ♪ 521 00:22:10,430 --> 00:22:11,531 ♪ From the frogs Of Aristophanes ♪ 522 00:22:11,664 --> 00:22:13,165 ♪ Then I can hum a fugue ♪ 523 00:22:13,299 --> 00:22:14,767 ♪ Of which I've heard The music's din afore ♪ 524 00:22:15,134 --> 00:22:17,904 Din afore? Din afore? Din afore? Ah. 525 00:22:18,371 --> 00:22:19,772 ♪ And whistle all the airs ♪ 526 00:22:19,906 --> 00:22:21,441 ♪ From that infernal nonsense Pinafore ♪ 527 00:22:21,574 --> 00:22:22,975 ♪ And whistle all the airs ♪ 528 00:22:23,109 --> 00:22:24,143 ♪ From that infernal nonsense Pinafore ♪ 529 00:22:24,276 --> 00:22:25,712 ♪ And whistle all the airs ♪ 530 00:22:25,845 --> 00:22:26,846 ♪ From that infernal nonsense Pinafore ♪ 531 00:22:26,979 --> 00:22:28,515 ♪ And whistle all the airs ♪ 532 00:22:28,648 --> 00:22:30,349 ♪ From that infernal nonsense Pina-Pinafore ♪ 533 00:22:30,483 --> 00:22:31,518 (ARPEGGIO PLAYS) 534 00:22:31,651 --> 00:22:33,019 ♪ For my military knowledge ♪ 535 00:22:33,152 --> 00:22:34,186 ♪ Though I'm plucky And adventury ♪ 536 00:22:34,320 --> 00:22:35,588 ♪ Has only been brought down ♪ 537 00:22:35,722 --> 00:22:37,223 ♪ To the beginning Of the century ♪ 538 00:22:37,356 --> 00:22:38,891 ♪ But still in matters Vegetable, animal and mineral ♪ 539 00:22:39,025 --> 00:22:40,827 ♪ I am the very model Of a modern Major-General ♪ 540 00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:42,962 ♪ But still in matters Vegetable, animal and mineral ♪ 541 00:22:43,095 --> 00:22:45,665 ♪ He is the very model Of a modern Major-General ♪ 542 00:22:46,198 --> 00:22:49,068 (SCATTERED APPLAUSE) 543 00:22:52,004 --> 00:22:53,973 (APPLAUSE CONTINUES) 544 00:22:55,642 --> 00:22:56,843 (WHISPERS) What the fuck! 545 00:22:56,976 --> 00:22:58,845 (WOMAN) Bravo! 546 00:22:58,978 --> 00:23:00,713 (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS) 547 00:23:00,847 --> 00:23:04,050 - (BUDDY HUMMING) - (MACY SIGHS) 548 00:23:06,619 --> 00:23:07,887 Is that the smile you're gonna wear? 549 00:23:08,020 --> 00:23:09,556 Well, I don't have a poker face. You know that. 550 00:23:09,689 --> 00:23:11,057 Come on, the show was great. 551 00:23:11,190 --> 00:23:12,625 Yeah, but the house wasn't. 552 00:23:12,759 --> 00:23:15,394 Seriously, Ed Monroe did not look happy. 553 00:23:15,528 --> 00:23:16,829 What are we gonna say to Ed? 554 00:23:16,963 --> 00:23:19,599 - Ed! Congratulations! - Ed! Congratulations! 555 00:23:19,732 --> 00:23:21,033 Beautiful production, Buddy. 556 00:23:21,167 --> 00:23:22,669 Well, if you're happy, we're happy. 557 00:23:22,802 --> 00:23:24,537 - I'm not happy. - Oh. 558 00:23:24,671 --> 00:23:27,173 - Where was the audience? - Oh, listen. 559 00:23:27,574 --> 00:23:29,442 Wait until the reviews come out. 560 00:23:29,576 --> 00:23:30,643 Word of mouth will spread. 561 00:23:30,777 --> 00:23:31,778 We'll be selling out every night. 562 00:23:31,911 --> 00:23:34,814 We better, 'cause this won't do. 563 00:23:34,947 --> 00:23:36,716 (MACY) We hear you, Ed. We're on it. 564 00:23:36,849 --> 00:23:38,951 (BUDDY) All over it. Don't worry about a thing. 565 00:23:39,085 --> 00:23:40,252 Buddy, honey, I want you to meet Fred. 566 00:23:40,386 --> 00:23:41,454 - I'll bring him right back. - (MACY) Please. 567 00:23:41,588 --> 00:23:42,655 I will. 568 00:23:42,789 --> 00:23:45,157 - (INDISTINCT CHATTER) - (SIGHS) 569 00:23:45,558 --> 00:23:47,694 (CHATTER AND LAUGHTER) 570 00:23:48,394 --> 00:23:49,629 No. 571 00:23:49,829 --> 00:23:52,364 No, the first time I kissed a girl, 572 00:23:52,499 --> 00:23:55,668 she stuck her tongue in my mouth, moved it around... 573 00:23:56,035 --> 00:23:57,904 I thought she was having a seizure. 574 00:23:58,070 --> 00:23:59,772 Wow, Kyle. 'Cause, you know, 575 00:23:59,906 --> 00:24:01,941 you look like you were born without your virginity. 576 00:24:02,074 --> 00:24:03,476 (CHUCKLES) 577 00:24:03,976 --> 00:24:05,244 So, uh... 578 00:24:06,445 --> 00:24:08,214 how do you act sexy? 579 00:24:08,347 --> 00:24:10,917 It's more like thinking. Hm? 580 00:24:11,050 --> 00:24:12,284 You know, when I go up to a girl, 581 00:24:12,418 --> 00:24:15,421 I'm not worrying, "How will I impress her?" 582 00:24:15,555 --> 00:24:16,956 "What am I gonna say?" No. 583 00:24:17,089 --> 00:24:19,659 You think one thing, very clearly, 584 00:24:19,792 --> 00:24:21,761 over and over when you approach... 585 00:24:23,395 --> 00:24:24,396 What? 586 00:24:24,531 --> 00:24:26,666 "I have a foot-long penis." 587 00:24:26,799 --> 00:24:29,268 "I have a foot-long penis." 588 00:24:30,637 --> 00:24:32,371 And then just be whatever she wants you to be. 589 00:24:32,505 --> 00:24:34,306 You're an actor. You could do that. 590 00:24:34,440 --> 00:24:35,708 And it's sexy. 591 00:24:35,842 --> 00:24:39,145 Oh, also, try and go for the plainer girls 592 00:24:39,278 --> 00:24:41,113 who think you're out of their league. 593 00:24:41,247 --> 00:24:42,915 Flattered sex is amazing. 594 00:24:43,049 --> 00:24:46,553 Now you try. "I have a foot-long penis." 595 00:24:47,620 --> 00:24:48,855 Oh, really? Just-- 596 00:24:48,988 --> 00:24:50,557 Yeah, no, really. It works every time. 597 00:24:52,158 --> 00:24:53,225 Okay. 598 00:25:10,076 --> 00:25:12,011 You're a very weird kid, Les. 599 00:25:12,344 --> 00:25:13,546 Thanks. 600 00:25:13,846 --> 00:25:17,717 (HARD ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) 601 00:25:24,490 --> 00:25:26,593 (MUSIC CONTINUES MUFFLED) 602 00:25:34,366 --> 00:25:35,668 Tonight was fun. 603 00:25:36,502 --> 00:25:38,971 How can you act like we're not in some serious shit right now? 604 00:25:39,105 --> 00:25:40,506 All I said was tonight was fun. 605 00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:44,043 Ed Monroe is not happy. We're about to lose everything. 606 00:25:44,176 --> 00:25:46,445 Do you even care about your family at all? 607 00:25:46,579 --> 00:25:47,580 This is just what we do, Macy. 608 00:25:47,714 --> 00:25:48,948 What do we do? 609 00:25:49,081 --> 00:25:52,819 We struggle, you freak. It works out, we repeat. 610 00:25:53,319 --> 00:25:54,520 That is not our thing. 611 00:25:54,654 --> 00:25:55,988 That is-- That's a terrible thing. 612 00:25:56,122 --> 00:25:57,323 But it's ours. 613 00:25:57,456 --> 00:25:58,290 Well, it's not the way I see it. 614 00:25:58,424 --> 00:25:59,726 Well, how do you see it? 615 00:25:59,859 --> 00:26:02,962 I see to it we scrape by, by any means possible 616 00:26:03,095 --> 00:26:04,964 while you promise us this great future. 617 00:26:05,097 --> 00:26:07,266 - Okay, okay, come on. - It's exhausting, Buddy. 618 00:26:07,399 --> 00:26:09,101 I am lonely, and it's turning me into some kind of a shrew. 619 00:26:09,235 --> 00:26:10,302 Macy, please. It's okay. 620 00:26:10,436 --> 00:26:12,204 I'm actually repelling people now, 621 00:26:12,338 --> 00:26:13,505 and I don't blame them. 622 00:26:13,640 --> 00:26:15,775 I'm even repelling you! 623 00:26:15,908 --> 00:26:17,243 We're about to lose everything, 624 00:26:17,376 --> 00:26:19,145 and you're talking about what fun you had at a party. 625 00:26:19,278 --> 00:26:20,446 (GROANS) 626 00:26:20,579 --> 00:26:23,515 You know, it would be nice if just once 627 00:26:23,650 --> 00:26:26,085 you showed a little faith in me. 628 00:26:26,218 --> 00:26:27,519 Just a little. 629 00:26:27,654 --> 00:26:30,189 You, you put so much faith in your invisible God. 630 00:26:30,322 --> 00:26:33,225 Well, I'm actually here, and you have none in me. 631 00:26:33,359 --> 00:26:35,795 Because you promised we'd make it in five years! 632 00:26:35,928 --> 00:26:37,630 Wishing things won't work, Buddy. 633 00:26:37,764 --> 00:26:39,298 This is my dream too! 634 00:26:39,431 --> 00:26:42,635 I have given us a big life! 635 00:26:42,769 --> 00:26:44,070 A unique one. 636 00:26:44,203 --> 00:26:46,038 Don't treat that like it's nothing. 637 00:26:46,172 --> 00:26:47,039 (MACY SIGHS) 638 00:26:47,173 --> 00:26:48,775 And we're not doing so badly. 639 00:26:48,908 --> 00:26:50,376 No, we're doing horribly! 640 00:26:50,509 --> 00:26:52,344 - Oh, my-- - We have kids. 641 00:26:52,478 --> 00:26:54,046 You wanted to wait so long 642 00:26:54,180 --> 00:26:55,514 'cause you didn't wanna make the same mistakes 643 00:26:55,648 --> 00:26:56,716 as your mean dead aunts, 644 00:26:56,849 --> 00:26:58,550 but your mistakes are just as bad. 645 00:26:58,685 --> 00:27:00,720 - We're living hand-to-mouth... - Ha! Jee-- I mean-- 646 00:27:00,853 --> 00:27:02,755 ...in empty houses Dee Baskin is selling. 647 00:27:02,889 --> 00:27:03,990 What's your plan B? 648 00:27:04,123 --> 00:27:06,558 We are not living hand-to-mouth. 649 00:27:06,693 --> 00:27:09,061 We are so rich in so many ways, 650 00:27:09,195 --> 00:27:11,530 but the only thing you ever see is what we don't have. 651 00:27:11,664 --> 00:27:13,465 Yeah, well, unless we get some butts in those seats, 652 00:27:13,599 --> 00:27:15,601 I don't know where we're going. Where are we going, Buddy? 653 00:27:15,735 --> 00:27:19,438 As I've said all along, we are either all in or we're not. 654 00:27:19,571 --> 00:27:21,173 I will make this work! 655 00:27:22,074 --> 00:27:24,711 All right? I promise. 656 00:27:26,378 --> 00:27:27,379 (DOOR SLAMS) 657 00:27:28,781 --> 00:27:30,049 (GROANS) 658 00:27:32,118 --> 00:27:34,286 (DISTANT SIREN WAILS) 659 00:27:47,566 --> 00:27:49,268 Come on, go to sleep. 660 00:27:49,401 --> 00:27:51,804 Your mom and I were just rehearsing. 661 00:27:55,975 --> 00:27:57,777 (WHISPERS) I don't know how, 662 00:27:58,544 --> 00:28:01,714 but your mom will blame me if she knows you're still up. 663 00:28:02,348 --> 00:28:04,083 How old were you when you married Mom? 664 00:28:04,216 --> 00:28:06,352 You know we don't do age in this house. 665 00:28:07,319 --> 00:28:08,320 (EXHALES) 666 00:28:10,723 --> 00:28:12,224 (BUDDY SIGHS) 667 00:28:15,762 --> 00:28:17,797 She was so much fun, your mom. 668 00:28:18,697 --> 00:28:20,366 No, she really was. 669 00:28:21,100 --> 00:28:22,534 But she couldn't say, "I love you" 670 00:28:22,668 --> 00:28:26,238 unless she really felt it deeply. 671 00:28:27,106 --> 00:28:29,876 I could say "love" like other people say "envelope," 672 00:28:30,009 --> 00:28:31,610 I'm so shallow. 673 00:28:32,044 --> 00:28:33,946 So I admire that in her. 674 00:28:35,514 --> 00:28:36,983 What was your mom like? 675 00:28:37,116 --> 00:28:39,318 Oh, I really don't remember her. 676 00:28:39,518 --> 00:28:41,020 She walked out when I was only four, 677 00:28:41,153 --> 00:28:42,654 didn't even shut the door. 678 00:28:42,989 --> 00:28:47,193 I had to live with my aunts, Astrid and Reliance. 679 00:28:47,593 --> 00:28:48,761 God. 680 00:28:49,261 --> 00:28:53,465 So, your mom could be anywhere in the world, 681 00:28:53,599 --> 00:28:54,533 you'd never know it. 682 00:28:54,666 --> 00:28:57,569 Yeah. People are shits. 683 00:28:58,871 --> 00:29:00,940 But that's on them. 684 00:29:01,073 --> 00:29:02,942 How you treat people is more important. 685 00:29:03,075 --> 00:29:07,313 And, Les, you have a huge capacity for kindness. 686 00:29:07,479 --> 00:29:09,181 Yeah, yeah, I know. 687 00:29:10,282 --> 00:29:11,784 I didn't learn anything about love 688 00:29:11,918 --> 00:29:14,320 from Astrid and Reliance. 689 00:29:15,121 --> 00:29:16,422 I got all that from your mother. 690 00:29:17,356 --> 00:29:18,490 Yeah. 691 00:29:18,657 --> 00:29:20,092 And you two monsters. 692 00:29:22,428 --> 00:29:23,830 Can you imagine your mother's face 693 00:29:23,963 --> 00:29:25,531 when the money comes in? 694 00:29:26,498 --> 00:29:27,599 Wow. (LAUGHS) 695 00:29:28,600 --> 00:29:30,602 Oh, that would be something. 696 00:29:34,941 --> 00:29:36,943 I wish I knew how to do it. 697 00:29:39,912 --> 00:29:41,247 We will. 698 00:29:43,649 --> 00:29:44,951 I know. 699 00:29:47,519 --> 00:29:50,589 - (BAGPIPES PLAYING) - (DOGS BARKING) 700 00:29:56,395 --> 00:29:57,897 (GROANS) 701 00:30:02,634 --> 00:30:05,938 (DISTANT TRAIN HORN BLARES) 702 00:30:08,507 --> 00:30:10,776 - (KNOCKING ON DOOR) - Yeah? 703 00:30:11,710 --> 00:30:13,345 - Hey. - Hey. 704 00:30:13,612 --> 00:30:17,183 I told Les I'd drop these off to him. 705 00:30:17,716 --> 00:30:18,851 Did he tell you I was coming by? 706 00:30:18,985 --> 00:30:20,452 No, of course not. (CHUCKLES) 707 00:30:20,786 --> 00:30:22,321 Books on acting. 708 00:30:22,454 --> 00:30:24,891 Oh, I don't know if I should thank you or throw them at you. 709 00:30:26,825 --> 00:30:29,028 I tell you what, you wash, I'll dry. 710 00:30:29,161 --> 00:30:30,462 Then I got to get to rehearsal. 711 00:30:30,596 --> 00:30:31,797 Deal. (CLEARS THROAT) 712 00:30:31,931 --> 00:30:33,365 Thank you. 713 00:30:34,000 --> 00:30:37,236 (EXHALES) So, what's your story? 714 00:30:37,769 --> 00:30:39,005 Where you from, anyway? 715 00:30:39,138 --> 00:30:41,607 Arkansas City, Kansas. You ever hear of it? 716 00:30:42,341 --> 00:30:43,809 - No, never will. - (CHUCKLES) 717 00:30:44,143 --> 00:30:45,744 So what do you do for fun in Arkansas? 718 00:30:45,878 --> 00:30:47,013 (MACY LAUGHS) 719 00:30:47,146 --> 00:30:49,381 Oh, think of ways to get out, mostly. 720 00:30:49,882 --> 00:30:51,850 But looking back, I was happy then, 721 00:30:51,984 --> 00:30:53,886 and didn't even know it. 722 00:30:54,420 --> 00:30:56,355 Maybe that's just being young. 723 00:30:57,056 --> 00:31:00,659 But I was Queen of the Arkalala Festival. 724 00:31:00,792 --> 00:31:02,761 Oh, I knew you looked familiar. 725 00:31:02,895 --> 00:31:04,931 (MACY LAUGHS) 726 00:31:05,064 --> 00:31:06,532 My nickname growing up was Bigfoot 727 00:31:06,665 --> 00:31:08,434 'cause I was six feet by the time I was twelve. 728 00:31:08,567 --> 00:31:10,769 So you could've knocked me over when I got that crown. 729 00:31:10,903 --> 00:31:12,638 It sounds like an honor, 730 00:31:12,771 --> 00:31:16,108 but pretty slim pickings in Arkansas, I admit it. 731 00:31:16,242 --> 00:31:17,776 - (LAUGHS) - Is that where you met Buddy? 732 00:31:17,910 --> 00:31:20,379 No, we met at a theater party. 733 00:31:20,846 --> 00:31:22,014 I think he always thought 734 00:31:22,148 --> 00:31:23,983 I was gonna be that kind of party happy. 735 00:31:24,116 --> 00:31:26,986 And I let him. We married a week later. 736 00:31:27,119 --> 00:31:28,287 Mm. 737 00:31:28,420 --> 00:31:29,621 It was like there was a spotlight on him 738 00:31:29,755 --> 00:31:31,323 anywhere he'd go. 739 00:31:31,924 --> 00:31:33,492 And he chose me. 740 00:31:34,994 --> 00:31:36,195 Hmm. 741 00:31:37,263 --> 00:31:38,564 It's hard being the plus one 742 00:31:38,697 --> 00:31:41,100 in your own life sometimes, though, you know? 743 00:31:41,533 --> 00:31:44,370 I've never felt like a plus one before. 744 00:31:44,636 --> 00:31:46,738 (LAUGHS) No. 745 00:31:46,872 --> 00:31:48,340 - What? - No. 746 00:31:48,474 --> 00:31:50,309 (LAUGHS) Well... 747 00:31:51,177 --> 00:31:52,378 - What? - Nothing. 748 00:31:52,511 --> 00:31:53,912 - (LAUGHS) - (CLEARS THROAT) 749 00:31:54,146 --> 00:31:55,948 I don't see him going anywhere. 750 00:31:56,682 --> 00:31:59,051 No. Mm-mm. He's not. 751 00:31:59,485 --> 00:32:00,486 I am. 752 00:32:01,520 --> 00:32:02,688 Rehearsals. 753 00:32:02,821 --> 00:32:03,990 (MACY CHUCKLES) 754 00:32:04,690 --> 00:32:06,292 Thanks for the books. 755 00:32:06,425 --> 00:32:08,727 And in the future, when Les is on unemployment, 756 00:32:08,860 --> 00:32:10,262 we'll think of you. 757 00:32:12,965 --> 00:32:17,469 (QUIRKY UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS) 758 00:32:35,554 --> 00:32:37,189 (BUDDY) Thank you for the tour. 759 00:32:37,323 --> 00:32:40,259 I've been looking for a really nice place to worship. 760 00:32:40,392 --> 00:32:41,693 You're very welcome here. 761 00:32:41,827 --> 00:32:43,162 - Oh. - Anytime. 762 00:32:43,295 --> 00:32:45,964 Thank you. How many parishioners do you have here? 763 00:32:46,098 --> 00:32:48,700 I would say 120. 764 00:32:49,468 --> 00:32:50,769 Oh... 765 00:32:50,902 --> 00:32:52,704 Well, it's a start. 766 00:32:52,938 --> 00:32:54,373 Very nice. 767 00:32:54,940 --> 00:32:56,742 Rabbi, how many members are there 768 00:32:56,875 --> 00:32:58,644 in the temple's congregation? 769 00:32:58,777 --> 00:33:02,214 The masonry itself is just spectacular. 770 00:33:03,982 --> 00:33:05,251 As the newest member 771 00:33:05,384 --> 00:33:08,720 of the Ascension Greek Orthodox Church, 772 00:33:08,854 --> 00:33:10,356 I would love to organize 773 00:33:10,489 --> 00:33:13,292 a theater party for all our parishioners. 774 00:33:13,425 --> 00:33:15,894 So Catholics can come to our productions 775 00:33:16,028 --> 00:33:18,197 at a much reduced rate... 776 00:33:19,331 --> 00:33:21,167 seeing that I'm one of you now. 777 00:33:22,101 --> 00:33:24,170 Buddy, that's horrible. 778 00:33:24,303 --> 00:33:26,338 How many churches did you join? 779 00:33:26,472 --> 00:33:27,573 Eleven. 780 00:33:28,840 --> 00:33:31,177 What? You're always after me to join the church. 781 00:33:31,310 --> 00:33:34,613 Buddy, it's a sin to lie to a man of the cloth! 782 00:33:34,746 --> 00:33:36,115 Who lied? 783 00:33:36,248 --> 00:33:38,950 I said I wanted to join the church, I joined. 784 00:33:39,085 --> 00:33:40,419 Well, you're sending yourself to hell. 785 00:33:40,552 --> 00:33:42,221 I hope you know that. Straight to hell. 786 00:33:42,354 --> 00:33:44,323 I'm doubling our subscriptions. 787 00:33:47,326 --> 00:33:50,362 - Seriously? - (DEVIOUSLY) Yes. 788 00:33:56,302 --> 00:33:57,569 (POPS MOUTH) 789 00:34:01,940 --> 00:34:03,509 (SIGHS AND CHUCKLES) 790 00:34:03,642 --> 00:34:06,545 I bet I could get us a balcony full of Episcopalians then. 791 00:34:06,678 --> 00:34:07,579 (LAUGHS) Yes! 792 00:34:07,713 --> 00:34:09,248 Holy cow! 793 00:34:09,381 --> 00:34:10,982 (LAUGHING AND GROANING) 794 00:34:11,117 --> 00:34:12,484 (GASPS) 795 00:34:12,618 --> 00:34:16,388 Oh, my God, you look exactly like the girl I married. 796 00:34:17,656 --> 00:34:18,924 Wow. 797 00:34:19,491 --> 00:34:21,527 Or maybe we always see the people we love 798 00:34:21,660 --> 00:34:23,829 the way they looked when we first fell in love with 'em. 799 00:34:23,962 --> 00:34:24,896 I'm not like that girl. 800 00:34:25,030 --> 00:34:26,365 Oh, you're not? 801 00:34:26,498 --> 00:34:29,000 You said, "Holy cow!" 802 00:34:29,135 --> 00:34:30,702 Maybe you don't see it, but I do. 803 00:34:30,836 --> 00:34:32,604 You just want to see it. 804 00:34:34,340 --> 00:34:37,243 I told you I was gonna make this happen, Macy. 805 00:34:40,612 --> 00:34:42,848 You're very sexy when you get all self-starty. 806 00:34:44,216 --> 00:34:47,219 Wow, get used to that. 807 00:34:49,288 --> 00:34:51,890 What? What are you doing? 808 00:34:52,023 --> 00:34:53,325 - Come here. - What? 809 00:34:53,459 --> 00:34:55,026 We have just enough time for a quickie. 810 00:34:55,261 --> 00:34:56,562 (LAUGHS) What? 811 00:34:56,862 --> 00:34:58,630 (MACY) Come on, right here on the counter. 812 00:34:58,764 --> 00:35:01,167 We'll turn off the lights. Save on the electricity bill. 813 00:35:01,600 --> 00:35:04,470 Macy? We can't, we don't have time. 814 00:35:04,603 --> 00:35:05,937 - Five minutes, tops. - No. Look, 815 00:35:06,071 --> 00:35:08,474 Les could be here any second with-- 816 00:35:08,607 --> 00:35:10,409 with Fritzi and Loud Sue and the rest of the gang. 817 00:35:10,542 --> 00:35:11,943 When is Les ever on time? 818 00:35:12,077 --> 00:35:13,779 Oh, my God! 819 00:35:13,912 --> 00:35:16,014 (LAUGHS) 820 00:35:16,148 --> 00:35:19,751 You are my favorite wife ever! 821 00:35:22,821 --> 00:35:23,855 Ooh! 822 00:35:25,824 --> 00:35:28,594 I'm gonna go to the store to get beer for everyone. 823 00:35:28,727 --> 00:35:29,695 (DOOR OPENS) 824 00:35:31,397 --> 00:35:32,564 (DOOR CLOSES) 825 00:35:34,099 --> 00:35:35,367 Macy, this is the best brownie 826 00:35:35,501 --> 00:35:37,068 I've ever had in my entire mouth. 827 00:35:37,203 --> 00:35:38,670 (LAUGHS) 828 00:35:38,804 --> 00:35:40,406 Dad, can we do On Borrowed Time when we get to Milwaukee? 829 00:35:40,539 --> 00:35:41,773 If we get to Milwaukee. 830 00:35:41,907 --> 00:35:43,775 Honestly, Les. You only ever want to do plays 831 00:35:43,909 --> 00:35:45,311 with parts for you in it. 832 00:35:45,444 --> 00:35:47,879 Well, you got to audition like everybody else, sport. 833 00:35:48,013 --> 00:35:49,681 (WOMAN) Barbra Streisand made me her Brooklyn brownie 834 00:35:49,815 --> 00:35:52,284 when I was with the Broadway company of Funny Girl. 835 00:35:52,418 --> 00:35:54,520 (CHUCKLES) It doesn't compare to this. 836 00:35:54,653 --> 00:35:57,256 They always make me audition. I hate auditioning for them. 837 00:35:57,389 --> 00:35:59,258 (WOMAN) Kyle, you're the first person 838 00:35:59,391 --> 00:36:00,192 who didn't look impressed when I happen to mention 839 00:36:00,326 --> 00:36:01,493 I worked with Barbra. 840 00:36:01,627 --> 00:36:02,828 And they always say the same thing 841 00:36:02,961 --> 00:36:04,430 after every audition. 842 00:36:04,563 --> 00:36:06,998 (BOTH) Thank you, Les. We'll call you. 843 00:36:07,132 --> 00:36:08,667 You know, and they never call. 844 00:36:08,800 --> 00:36:10,436 I have to audition again tomorrow. 845 00:36:10,569 --> 00:36:12,371 Brighton Beach Memoirs. It's the lead. 846 00:36:12,504 --> 00:36:13,739 I was the first replacement, 847 00:36:13,872 --> 00:36:16,675 Mrs. Strakosh, in the original show. (LAUGHS) 848 00:36:16,808 --> 00:36:18,143 Does that make me too old for you? 849 00:36:18,277 --> 00:36:19,645 No. It's your age that does. 850 00:36:20,212 --> 00:36:21,347 (RINGING) 851 00:36:21,480 --> 00:36:23,014 That's my beeper. 852 00:36:23,382 --> 00:36:25,584 Oh, I gotta check my answering service. 853 00:36:25,717 --> 00:36:28,153 - Oh, maybe it's your big break. - Yeah. 854 00:36:28,287 --> 00:36:30,155 Hey, Macy, can I use your phone? Whoa. 855 00:36:30,289 --> 00:36:31,923 - Of course. - Thanks. 856 00:36:32,458 --> 00:36:34,960 Relax, dear. He plays for my team, not yours. 857 00:36:35,093 --> 00:36:37,195 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 858 00:36:37,329 --> 00:36:39,565 (BUDDY) There you go. You got it. 859 00:36:39,998 --> 00:36:43,569 (QUIRKY JAZZ MUSIC PLAYS) 860 00:36:49,441 --> 00:36:50,876 Les Smart. 861 00:36:51,910 --> 00:36:53,379 It's Lester. 862 00:36:59,084 --> 00:37:00,852 (BUDDY CLEARS THROAT) 863 00:37:01,287 --> 00:37:02,954 Whenever you're ready, Lester. 864 00:37:04,423 --> 00:37:05,691 Oh, yeah. 865 00:37:06,224 --> 00:37:08,126 - (BUDDY) * One... ♪ - (LES) Two, shoulders up. 866 00:37:08,260 --> 00:37:09,795 (BOTH) * Singular sensation Every little step she takes ♪ 867 00:37:09,928 --> 00:37:11,430 (LES) Point and point. And step. 868 00:37:11,563 --> 00:37:12,731 Hat to the head. Three, four. 869 00:37:12,864 --> 00:37:14,733 - * One ♪ - Elbow right, down. 870 00:37:14,866 --> 00:37:18,169 ♪ Brilliant combination Every move that she makes ♪ 871 00:37:18,304 --> 00:37:20,105 Step, brush, three, four. 872 00:37:20,238 --> 00:37:23,509 ♪ One smile And suddenly nobody else ♪ 873 00:37:23,642 --> 00:37:26,878 Step, flick, step, up, step and step, slow. 874 00:37:27,479 --> 00:37:29,381 ♪ You know you'll never Be lonely ♪ 875 00:37:29,515 --> 00:37:30,582 (LES) Kick, step, brush. 876 00:37:30,716 --> 00:37:32,518 ♪ With you-know-who ♪ 877 00:37:32,651 --> 00:37:34,820 - Five, six. Back, back! - (BUDDY CONTINUES SINGING) 878 00:37:34,953 --> 00:37:38,123 Yes, Tiffany, find your light, pop, good. 879 00:37:38,256 --> 00:37:40,058 ♪ And you can forget the rest ♪ 880 00:37:40,191 --> 00:37:41,360 ♪ Diddla-diddla-do ♪ 881 00:37:41,493 --> 00:37:44,062 ♪ For the girl is second best ♪ 882 00:37:44,195 --> 00:37:48,199 ♪ To none, son ♪ 883 00:37:48,667 --> 00:37:50,235 ♪ Ooh, sigh ♪ 884 00:37:50,369 --> 00:37:52,103 ♪ Give her your attention ♪ 885 00:37:52,237 --> 00:37:55,807 ♪ Do I really have to mention ♪ 886 00:37:55,941 --> 00:38:01,580 ♪ She's the one ♪ 887 00:38:01,813 --> 00:38:04,450 (HUMMING) 888 00:38:05,250 --> 00:38:06,785 When do we hear about Milwaukee? 889 00:38:07,218 --> 00:38:09,321 Shouldn't we have heard something already? 890 00:38:09,821 --> 00:38:14,360 Derrick, what are you gonna do when the money comes in? 891 00:38:14,760 --> 00:38:15,761 Hmm? 892 00:38:15,894 --> 00:38:17,162 - When the money comes in? - Yeah. 893 00:38:17,295 --> 00:38:18,564 I'm gonna get Green Bay season tickets 894 00:38:18,697 --> 00:38:20,366 right at the 50-yard line. 895 00:38:20,499 --> 00:38:22,033 I mean, everyone's writing them off, 896 00:38:22,167 --> 00:38:23,602 but I don't know. 897 00:38:25,971 --> 00:38:28,139 Well, what are we gonna do if Milwaukee doesn't happen? 898 00:38:28,273 --> 00:38:32,811 Oh, it will happen. Everything's gonna be great. 899 00:38:32,944 --> 00:38:35,481 But, I mean, like, do we have a place to go? 900 00:38:35,614 --> 00:38:37,683 Because eventually Dee Baskin's gonna sell a house. 901 00:38:37,816 --> 00:38:40,552 No, we are all in on this one. 902 00:38:40,686 --> 00:38:43,889 But, the bigger the risk, the bigger the reward. 903 00:38:44,022 --> 00:38:45,691 (SMACKS LIPS) The bigger the loss. 904 00:38:47,058 --> 00:38:49,361 I mean... (STAMMERS) how will we even pay for food? 905 00:38:49,495 --> 00:38:50,796 - Theater tickets. - Theater tickets. 906 00:38:50,929 --> 00:38:51,997 (SCOFFS) 907 00:38:52,130 --> 00:38:53,932 You gotta have a little faith, Derrick. 908 00:38:54,065 --> 00:38:57,936 You might ask yourself, "Why can't I be more like Les?" 909 00:38:58,069 --> 00:38:59,037 'Cause I'm more like me. 910 00:38:59,170 --> 00:39:01,172 He's got a positive attitude. 911 00:39:01,306 --> 00:39:03,642 He has faith that we're going to end up in Milwaukee. 912 00:39:03,775 --> 00:39:05,644 - Don't you, Les? - Nope. 913 00:39:07,012 --> 00:39:08,046 Thanks. 914 00:39:08,647 --> 00:39:10,048 Very funny. 915 00:39:10,616 --> 00:39:11,883 - Watch out for the pothole. - Hmm? 916 00:39:12,017 --> 00:39:14,052 - The pothole, right-- - (METALLIC THUD) 917 00:39:14,420 --> 00:39:16,354 - Sorry. - Really? 918 00:39:17,288 --> 00:39:18,524 Derrick? 919 00:39:18,924 --> 00:39:20,859 I need to talk to you about all the girls 920 00:39:20,992 --> 00:39:22,394 that you've been kissing on lately. 921 00:39:22,528 --> 00:39:23,929 No, no, you don't. 922 00:39:24,062 --> 00:39:26,665 Yes, I do. Your mother and I think you're being a slut. 923 00:39:26,798 --> 00:39:28,734 No, look, you-- you told me to sleep around. Okay? 924 00:39:28,867 --> 00:39:31,169 It's exactly what you said, word-for-word. 925 00:39:31,302 --> 00:39:33,505 "Have a big life," you said. You wished someone had told you. 926 00:39:33,639 --> 00:39:34,773 That doesn't mean you sleep around 927 00:39:34,906 --> 00:39:37,943 with every girl from Secaucus to Paramus. 928 00:39:38,076 --> 00:39:40,579 I mean, there's horny, and then there's pervy. 929 00:39:40,946 --> 00:39:42,347 Watch out for the pothole. Do you see it? 930 00:39:42,481 --> 00:39:43,782 - Right there. - (METALLIC THUD) 931 00:39:43,915 --> 00:39:46,217 - Dad, he's doing it on purpose. - Shut up! 932 00:39:46,351 --> 00:39:47,352 Hey! 933 00:39:47,486 --> 00:39:48,787 If you have sex without a condom, 934 00:39:48,920 --> 00:39:50,822 your mom's gonna cut your balls off. 935 00:39:54,660 --> 00:39:56,662 I think this talk went well. 936 00:39:58,897 --> 00:40:00,966 (LES) Derrick, can you drop me off at the theater? 937 00:40:09,541 --> 00:40:11,477 (BUDDY) All right, Lester, have fun. 938 00:40:25,323 --> 00:40:27,626 (WOMAN) Les, darling. 939 00:40:27,893 --> 00:40:29,928 How did you know I'd be here? 940 00:40:30,228 --> 00:40:33,499 (LES) Tallulah Bankhead, 1902 to 1968. 941 00:40:33,632 --> 00:40:37,135 You look ghastly, Les darling. What's the matter? 942 00:40:37,268 --> 00:40:40,205 I'm just waiting to see if I got a part and... 943 00:40:41,306 --> 00:40:42,708 It's a long story, Tallulah, 944 00:40:42,841 --> 00:40:45,143 and I'm not sure how I come out at the end of it. 945 00:40:45,276 --> 00:40:46,978 Champagne? 946 00:40:47,112 --> 00:40:50,549 I meant for me. (LAUGHS) 947 00:40:50,682 --> 00:40:52,751 You know, plus, Derrick's making out like a bandit, 948 00:40:52,884 --> 00:40:54,486 and it's got me thinking-- 949 00:40:54,620 --> 00:40:56,087 I don't know what to tell you. 950 00:40:56,221 --> 00:40:58,724 I've been with many men, and I've been with many women. 951 00:40:58,857 --> 00:41:03,328 And, darling, there has got to be something better. 952 00:41:03,829 --> 00:41:05,263 (DISTANT RATTLING) 953 00:41:05,396 --> 00:41:06,598 Did you hear that? 954 00:41:13,338 --> 00:41:15,306 (RATTLING CONTINUES) 955 00:41:21,212 --> 00:41:23,014 (MOANING) 956 00:41:24,115 --> 00:41:25,617 - Oh! - Oh, uh, I'm sorry. 957 00:41:25,751 --> 00:41:26,985 I-I didn't see anything. 958 00:41:27,118 --> 00:41:28,319 Oh, shit. 959 00:41:30,255 --> 00:41:31,590 Les... 960 00:41:33,058 --> 00:41:35,060 (WHIMPERS) 961 00:41:35,594 --> 00:41:37,696 (CRYING) 962 00:41:40,098 --> 00:41:43,969 Les, wait, please! Les, Les, no... 963 00:41:45,236 --> 00:41:46,337 Buddy? 964 00:41:46,471 --> 00:41:49,541 What-- What happened? What's wrong? 965 00:41:50,075 --> 00:41:53,211 What did-- What do you-- Who's on the phone? 966 00:41:54,746 --> 00:41:56,014 (STAMMERS) 967 00:41:58,383 --> 00:41:59,718 We got Milwaukee. 968 00:42:01,753 --> 00:42:03,221 I got the call. 969 00:42:03,789 --> 00:42:05,223 Milwaukee! 970 00:42:06,091 --> 00:42:07,659 Five years! 971 00:42:07,793 --> 00:42:10,696 We are set for the next full five years! 972 00:42:10,829 --> 00:42:12,664 Oh, my God! 973 00:42:13,164 --> 00:42:16,067 Champagne. We need champagne. Lots of it! 974 00:42:16,201 --> 00:42:18,937 We're celebrating big time. You know why, Les? 975 00:42:19,070 --> 00:42:21,072 It's not just because of the phone call. 976 00:42:21,206 --> 00:42:22,473 Les... 977 00:42:23,174 --> 00:42:24,309 I should probably go through your people, 978 00:42:24,442 --> 00:42:25,744 I know, but I can't wait. 979 00:42:27,713 --> 00:42:30,148 You got the role. 980 00:42:31,750 --> 00:42:33,118 What? 981 00:42:33,251 --> 00:42:34,452 What? The role. 982 00:42:34,586 --> 00:42:36,387 Brighton Beach Memoirs. You got the role. 983 00:42:36,521 --> 00:42:39,725 You were the best actor. Truly. 984 00:42:39,858 --> 00:42:42,360 There was no nepotism involved. 985 00:42:46,164 --> 00:42:47,733 Oh-oh-oh. 986 00:42:48,399 --> 00:42:52,270 There you go. Yes, let it out. You deserve it. 987 00:42:53,004 --> 00:42:54,606 Oh, I'm so proud of you. 988 00:42:54,740 --> 00:42:56,141 (BUDDY LAUGHS) 989 00:42:56,274 --> 00:43:00,278 Congratulations. You wanna go to the store with me? 990 00:43:01,880 --> 00:43:03,414 No, it's okay, it's okay. 991 00:43:04,315 --> 00:43:05,416 You know what? 992 00:43:06,785 --> 00:43:09,220 This is a turning point for our family. 993 00:43:10,155 --> 00:43:11,456 (CHUCKLES) 994 00:43:11,890 --> 00:43:14,092 Whoo! (LAUGHS) 995 00:43:18,764 --> 00:43:19,998 (WHISPERS) Les... 996 00:43:23,902 --> 00:43:25,937 (DISTANT BELL TOLLING) 997 00:43:30,308 --> 00:43:31,276 Alcohol... 998 00:43:31,409 --> 00:43:33,111 (DOOR CHIMES) 999 00:43:33,244 --> 00:43:34,946 Do you have any decent champagne? 1000 00:43:35,080 --> 00:43:37,148 (CLERK) Indecent only. 1001 00:43:37,548 --> 00:43:39,384 Everyone's a comedian. 1002 00:43:40,185 --> 00:43:41,219 (HUMMING) 1003 00:43:41,352 --> 00:43:42,654 There we go. 1004 00:43:42,788 --> 00:43:44,956 (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) 1005 00:43:48,760 --> 00:43:49,995 Mm. 1006 00:44:05,510 --> 00:44:06,544 No, no, no. 1007 00:44:06,678 --> 00:44:09,080 (HIGH-PITCHED RINGING) 1008 00:44:09,214 --> 00:44:10,181 No. 1009 00:44:10,315 --> 00:44:13,218 (DEEP RUMBLING) 1010 00:44:19,657 --> 00:44:21,292 (MUFFLED THUD) 1011 00:44:29,901 --> 00:44:31,336 (MUFFLED THUD) 1012 00:44:49,620 --> 00:44:52,257 Welcome in the name of Jesus, 1013 00:44:52,390 --> 00:44:56,361 we are gathered to worship, to proclaim Christ crucified 1014 00:44:56,494 --> 00:44:58,964 and reason to remember before God, 1015 00:44:59,097 --> 00:45:02,400 our brother Buddy Smart. 1016 00:45:02,533 --> 00:45:04,903 To give thanks for his life, 1017 00:45:05,036 --> 00:45:08,006 to commend him to our merciful redeemer 1018 00:45:08,139 --> 00:45:11,676 and to comfort one another in our grief. 1019 00:45:11,810 --> 00:45:14,045 The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ 1020 00:45:14,179 --> 00:45:16,581 and the communion of the holy spirit 1021 00:45:16,948 --> 00:45:21,519 all gather grace and glory, we remember before you today... 1022 00:45:21,652 --> 00:45:23,388 (VOICE GROWS DISTANT) ...our brother Buddy. 1023 00:45:23,521 --> 00:45:26,357 (MELANCHOLY MUSIC PLAYS) 1024 00:45:26,491 --> 00:45:29,227 (MUFFLED VOICE CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY) 1025 00:45:33,932 --> 00:45:36,534 (MELANCHOLY MUSIC SWELLS) 1026 00:45:38,269 --> 00:45:40,338 (MUFFLED VOICE CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY) 1027 00:45:41,773 --> 00:45:45,210 (OVERLAPPING WHISPERED SPEECH) 1028 00:45:49,915 --> 00:45:51,983 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 1029 00:45:53,351 --> 00:45:55,186 Do you remember Mr. Paterson? 1030 00:45:55,686 --> 00:45:57,288 Son, sorry for your loss. 1031 00:45:58,623 --> 00:46:00,125 Oh, doctor. 1032 00:46:00,725 --> 00:46:02,227 (GRUNTS) 1033 00:46:03,394 --> 00:46:06,397 Boys, I'm so sorry for your loss. 1034 00:46:07,799 --> 00:46:09,134 And, Macy. 1035 00:46:09,267 --> 00:46:13,004 He lived life exactly the way he wanted. 1036 00:46:13,338 --> 00:46:17,475 It's a gift. No one could ever tell Buddy what to do. 1037 00:46:17,608 --> 00:46:20,545 I could. And did. But he didn't listen anyway. 1038 00:46:20,678 --> 00:46:21,913 (CHUCKLES) 1039 00:46:22,047 --> 00:46:23,414 Clearly, I couldn't. 1040 00:46:23,548 --> 00:46:26,051 Dr. Kannengiser, thank you for coming all that way. 1041 00:46:26,184 --> 00:46:30,255 I'm just so overwhelmed by how many people showed up. 1042 00:46:31,389 --> 00:46:33,158 I wish Buddy could've seen it. 1043 00:46:33,524 --> 00:46:34,926 He loved a packed house. 1044 00:46:35,060 --> 00:46:36,627 (LAUGHS) That he did. 1045 00:46:37,195 --> 00:46:41,299 Doctor... what couldn't you tell Buddy to do? 1046 00:46:42,067 --> 00:46:46,204 Well, you know. Retire. 'Cause of his heart. 1047 00:47:21,506 --> 00:47:22,974 (BUDDY, ON RECORDING) You've reached the Smarts. 1048 00:47:23,108 --> 00:47:24,042 If you were trying for someone else, 1049 00:47:24,175 --> 00:47:25,476 we beg your pardon. 1050 00:47:25,610 --> 00:47:28,079 I will recite a poem if you leave a message. 1051 00:47:28,213 --> 00:47:29,514 (CLEARS THROAT) 1052 00:47:29,647 --> 00:47:32,217 There once was a woman from Devizes, 1053 00:47:32,350 --> 00:47:35,186 whose breasts were of different sizes. 1054 00:47:35,320 --> 00:47:38,523 One was quite small. It was nothing at all. 1055 00:47:38,656 --> 00:47:42,027 The other was huge and won prizes! 1056 00:47:42,160 --> 00:47:44,095 - Your turn. - (MACHINE BEEPS) 1057 00:47:44,529 --> 00:47:47,465 ("IF YOU COULD READ MY MIND" BY GORDON LIGHTFOOT PLAYING) 1058 00:47:53,404 --> 00:47:56,607 ♪ If you could read My mind, love ♪ 1059 00:47:56,741 --> 00:48:00,111 ♪ What a tale My thoughts could tell ♪ 1060 00:48:00,545 --> 00:48:04,415 ♪ Just like An old-time movie ♪ 1061 00:48:04,549 --> 00:48:07,652 ♪ 'Bout a ghost From a wishing well ♪ 1062 00:48:08,619 --> 00:48:12,958 ♪ In a castle dark Or a fortress strong ♪ 1063 00:48:13,091 --> 00:48:16,361 ♪ With chains upon my feet ♪ 1064 00:48:17,228 --> 00:48:20,265 ♪ You know that ghost is me ♪ 1065 00:48:21,666 --> 00:48:25,270 ♪ And I will never Be set free ♪ 1066 00:48:25,403 --> 00:48:29,907 ♪ As long as I'm a ghost You can't see ♪ 1067 00:48:36,481 --> 00:48:38,416 - Mom? - (MACY) Hmm. 1068 00:48:39,050 --> 00:48:41,719 Did he talk to you about me playing football in Milwaukee? 1069 00:48:43,188 --> 00:48:44,722 He said I could. 1070 00:48:44,855 --> 00:48:47,758 He, uh, said if we got there, that there'd be security 1071 00:48:47,892 --> 00:48:50,195 so I wouldn't have to work at the theater anymore. 1072 00:48:51,162 --> 00:48:52,530 He promised. 1073 00:48:52,663 --> 00:48:54,865 You don't have to work at the theater anymore, Derrick. 1074 00:48:55,000 --> 00:48:56,701 But what about the theater in Milwaukee? 1075 00:48:56,834 --> 00:48:58,103 (SIGHS) Look, I really tried, 1076 00:48:58,236 --> 00:49:00,338 but your father had a contract there, not us. 1077 00:49:00,471 --> 00:49:03,608 We're not going to Milwaukee. We're going home. 1078 00:49:05,710 --> 00:49:06,644 - Home? - Yeah. 1079 00:49:06,777 --> 00:49:08,746 You can play football in Kansas. 1080 00:49:08,879 --> 00:49:11,182 My brother said we could stay with him on his farm. 1081 00:49:11,682 --> 00:49:13,584 - On his farm? - (PENCIL SCRIBBLING) 1082 00:49:13,884 --> 00:49:15,820 We're living on a farm? 1083 00:49:16,221 --> 00:49:17,455 What are we, cowpoke? 1084 00:49:17,588 --> 00:49:18,956 What am I supposed to do in fucking Kansas? 1085 00:49:19,090 --> 00:49:20,291 Hey. 1086 00:49:20,425 --> 00:49:21,792 You can start by watching your mouth. 1087 00:49:21,926 --> 00:49:23,594 It's physically impossible to watch your mouth. 1088 00:49:23,728 --> 00:49:25,196 We don't have options. 1089 00:49:25,330 --> 00:49:26,731 You might even like it there, Les. 1090 00:49:26,864 --> 00:49:28,533 It'll be like living in The Wizard of Oz. 1091 00:49:28,666 --> 00:49:31,202 In the black-and-white section of The Wizard of Oz. 1092 00:49:31,336 --> 00:49:33,604 No one wants to live in that section! 1093 00:49:33,738 --> 00:49:34,939 Just keep an open mind. 1094 00:49:35,073 --> 00:49:37,475 Kansas is famous for twisters and being white. 1095 00:49:37,608 --> 00:49:39,977 We don't have any place else to go! 1096 00:49:40,111 --> 00:49:42,180 I am doing the best I can for us. 1097 00:49:42,413 --> 00:49:44,549 You're just gonna have to accept it, Les. 1098 00:49:47,085 --> 00:49:49,187 (BIRDS CAWING) 1099 00:50:00,498 --> 00:50:04,469 The motto of the state of Kansas is... 1100 00:50:05,203 --> 00:50:08,506 "To the stars through difficulties." 1101 00:50:09,674 --> 00:50:13,778 Seems to me you've all had your share of difficulties. 1102 00:50:16,181 --> 00:50:19,750 What do you boys like to do for fun? Huh? 1103 00:50:22,019 --> 00:50:23,921 - Um... - Les loves theater, 1104 00:50:24,055 --> 00:50:25,823 - like his dad. - Mm-hmm. 1105 00:50:26,191 --> 00:50:29,960 Uh, I don't know about theaters much, but... 1106 00:50:30,461 --> 00:50:32,063 we have a Renaissance Fair 1107 00:50:32,197 --> 00:50:36,501 with costumes, mermaids, and fire spitters. 1108 00:50:36,634 --> 00:50:37,968 (CHUCKLES) 1109 00:50:38,103 --> 00:50:41,172 The church puts on a nativity tableaux each year. 1110 00:50:41,306 --> 00:50:45,310 And, that's... you know, kinda theater-y, and... 1111 00:50:45,443 --> 00:50:46,911 That's not even amateur theater. 1112 00:50:51,048 --> 00:50:52,350 Um, what about football? 1113 00:50:52,483 --> 00:50:55,453 Oh, well, we love our football in Kansas. 1114 00:50:55,586 --> 00:50:57,622 - And we're really bad at it. - (LAUGHS) 1115 00:50:57,755 --> 00:51:03,094 But we got national parks, national forests, and, uh... 1116 00:51:03,494 --> 00:51:06,664 Macy? What do you say I take the boys hunting tomorrow? 1117 00:51:06,797 --> 00:51:08,566 Really? Arming them? I-- 1118 00:51:08,699 --> 00:51:10,935 Well, I know the girls never wanted to go, 1119 00:51:11,068 --> 00:51:12,270 but I bet your boys would. 1120 00:51:12,403 --> 00:51:14,972 I'm not some psycho serial killer 1121 00:51:15,106 --> 00:51:16,541 shooting and killing things. 1122 00:51:16,674 --> 00:51:18,376 - My dad just died. - (FORK CLINKS) 1123 00:51:18,509 --> 00:51:19,777 Les... 1124 00:51:20,311 --> 00:51:23,448 I know that, but people here feel differently. 1125 00:51:23,714 --> 00:51:28,553 Out here... gun control means hitting what you aim at. 1126 00:51:28,686 --> 00:51:31,156 People out here, they love their guns. 1127 00:51:31,289 --> 00:51:33,358 - People followed Hitler, too. - Jesus. 1128 00:51:33,491 --> 00:51:36,294 Oh, yeah, you think that's a fair comparison? 1129 00:51:36,427 --> 00:51:37,828 I don't give a shit about being fair. 1130 00:51:37,962 --> 00:51:39,797 - Les! - Well... 1131 00:51:40,831 --> 00:51:43,201 You know, suit yourself. 1132 00:51:44,802 --> 00:51:48,273 You're free to stay, and you're free to go. 1133 00:51:49,540 --> 00:51:51,742 No one's holding you prisoner. 1134 00:51:52,343 --> 00:51:55,846 But we clear our own plates in this house. 1135 00:52:02,653 --> 00:52:04,289 What part of "We don't have anywhere else to go" 1136 00:52:04,422 --> 00:52:05,723 was unclear? 1137 00:52:11,996 --> 00:52:13,964 (OWL HOOTING) 1138 00:52:16,901 --> 00:52:18,236 You all right? 1139 00:52:19,537 --> 00:52:20,705 No. 1140 00:52:20,838 --> 00:52:23,574 I don't think I'm me anymore without my dad. 1141 00:52:23,941 --> 00:52:26,944 I'm never gonna find my people in Kansas. 1142 00:52:28,746 --> 00:52:31,449 You haven't even been here a day. 1143 00:52:33,184 --> 00:52:35,286 This is an opportunity. 1144 00:52:36,787 --> 00:52:40,325 You start a new school next week. High school. 1145 00:52:40,458 --> 00:52:42,760 Just try fitting in. Huh? 1146 00:52:42,893 --> 00:52:45,563 Having a normal life isn't a sin. 1147 00:52:47,898 --> 00:52:49,200 Les... 1148 00:52:49,734 --> 00:52:52,637 Y-You need to let me explain. 1149 00:52:54,539 --> 00:52:56,374 - I loved your father-- - Just go away. 1150 00:52:56,507 --> 00:52:58,276 I just want to unsee it. 1151 00:52:59,109 --> 00:53:01,212 But for the longest time, 1152 00:53:01,579 --> 00:53:04,249 everybody looked at me like I was... 1153 00:53:05,316 --> 00:53:08,018 dull and serious, and not worth knowing. 1154 00:53:08,152 --> 00:53:11,289 And-- And I-I never used to be any of those things. 1155 00:53:11,622 --> 00:53:14,191 Even you looked at me like that, Les. 1156 00:53:14,759 --> 00:53:18,095 Your dad, he saw someone that didn't exist anymore. 1157 00:53:18,229 --> 00:53:19,564 And I just... 1158 00:53:19,697 --> 00:53:22,867 I just wanted to be seen. And Kyle saw me. 1159 00:53:23,000 --> 00:53:25,169 Saw you with his penis? 1160 00:53:25,303 --> 00:53:27,004 (INHALES SLOWLY) 1161 00:53:27,137 --> 00:53:29,540 I made a really bad decision, 1162 00:53:29,674 --> 00:53:31,942 and I made it deliberately. 1163 00:53:32,076 --> 00:53:35,680 And I wish to God it was just my secret and you didn't know. 1164 00:53:36,314 --> 00:53:38,349 I'm so sorry, Les. 1165 00:53:46,424 --> 00:53:48,459 I love you, sweetheart. 1166 00:54:03,841 --> 00:54:06,977 (MAN) Hey, Les. Can I tell you something? 1167 00:54:07,545 --> 00:54:10,648 Kansas was my real inspiration, you know. 1168 00:54:11,816 --> 00:54:15,286 (LES) William Inge, 1913 to 1973. 1169 00:54:15,520 --> 00:54:18,789 If you look at my plays, Les, they're all about my life here. 1170 00:54:19,189 --> 00:54:23,628 Kansas turned me into a real artist. (CHUCKLES) 1171 00:54:23,761 --> 00:54:25,430 You could be an artist too. 1172 00:54:25,563 --> 00:54:29,367 You could be as happy as I was here if you just give it a try. 1173 00:54:31,001 --> 00:54:32,403 Didn't you kill yourself? 1174 00:54:35,239 --> 00:54:37,141 Well... (CHUCKLES) 1175 00:54:40,378 --> 00:54:41,646 (SIGHS) 1176 00:54:45,015 --> 00:54:46,817 (ROCK MUSIC PLAYS) 1177 00:54:46,951 --> 00:54:49,554 ♪ Run, run, run, run Run away now ♪ 1178 00:54:49,687 --> 00:54:52,323 ♪ Got to run away from me ♪ 1179 00:54:52,690 --> 00:54:54,124 ♪ Whistle-blowin' Pistol-packin' ♪ 1180 00:54:54,258 --> 00:54:55,593 ♪ Gun-slingin' showdown ♪ 1181 00:54:55,726 --> 00:54:57,762 ♪ Is what you're all About to see ♪ 1182 00:54:58,563 --> 00:55:01,399 (MUSIC FADES) 1183 00:55:02,032 --> 00:55:04,669 - Nice shirt. - Thanks. 1184 00:55:05,235 --> 00:55:06,871 Listen to Dr. Feelgood yet? 1185 00:55:07,605 --> 00:55:10,341 Pretty good. Better than Girls, Girls, Girls. 1186 00:55:10,475 --> 00:55:12,577 (MUSIC CONTINUES) 1187 00:55:12,710 --> 00:55:14,679 - Alex. - Derrick. 1188 00:55:15,480 --> 00:55:16,914 - Johnny. - New? 1189 00:55:17,047 --> 00:55:18,749 - Yeah. - Cool. 1190 00:55:23,053 --> 00:55:24,489 Seriously? 1191 00:55:25,222 --> 00:55:26,824 (CHATTERING) 1192 00:55:28,726 --> 00:55:30,461 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 1193 00:55:30,595 --> 00:55:33,063 - My mom, you know, she just-- - (CHUCKLES) 1194 00:55:33,197 --> 00:55:36,367 This is, uh, my brother Les. 1195 00:55:36,834 --> 00:55:38,035 Yo. 1196 00:55:38,168 --> 00:55:40,371 (ANNOUNCER) The chess club in room 104 1197 00:55:40,505 --> 00:55:42,006 has been canceled. 1198 00:55:42,139 --> 00:55:43,508 Am I seeing things, 1199 00:55:43,641 --> 00:55:46,377 or did Selena Roach get, like, totally hot over break? 1200 00:55:46,511 --> 00:55:48,145 Oh, man, look at her. 1201 00:55:49,680 --> 00:55:51,716 - She looks kind of slutty. - Right? 1202 00:55:52,116 --> 00:55:54,251 Right. Yeah, I love sluts. 1203 00:55:54,385 --> 00:55:56,487 She is totally third base, man. 1204 00:55:56,854 --> 00:55:59,690 You know, when I pick up girls, I think one thing. 1205 00:55:59,824 --> 00:56:03,127 - Very clearly, over and over. - What? 1206 00:56:03,461 --> 00:56:05,796 - "I have a foot-long penis." - (SNORTS AND LAUGHTER) 1207 00:56:05,930 --> 00:56:07,264 Yeah, watch. 1208 00:56:07,398 --> 00:56:08,599 No way. 1209 00:56:11,268 --> 00:56:12,870 (LAUGHTER) 1210 00:56:16,273 --> 00:56:19,176 What's so funny? What are they saying about me? 1211 00:56:19,309 --> 00:56:21,178 My brother thinks you're a fox. 1212 00:56:21,311 --> 00:56:23,414 He's the guy you're watching like a TV set. 1213 00:56:23,548 --> 00:56:24,982 Yeah, I'm so sure. 1214 00:56:26,250 --> 00:56:27,618 Not really my type. 1215 00:56:28,419 --> 00:56:29,754 What kind of girl does he like? 1216 00:56:30,154 --> 00:56:31,288 New. 1217 00:56:31,656 --> 00:56:33,157 (CHUCKLES) 1218 00:56:33,357 --> 00:56:34,559 I'm Les. 1219 00:56:35,359 --> 00:56:37,762 Hmm. Okay. Selena. 1220 00:56:47,237 --> 00:56:49,406 Oh, you shouldn't be drinking like that. 1221 00:56:49,540 --> 00:56:51,308 I'm using a glass. 1222 00:56:51,842 --> 00:56:52,977 - No, I meant-- - No. 1223 00:56:53,110 --> 00:56:55,379 I should absolutely be drinking, okay? 1224 00:56:56,080 --> 00:56:59,116 I yelled at Buddy over and over to have a Plan B. 1225 00:56:59,249 --> 00:57:00,785 I have no plan. 1226 00:57:00,918 --> 00:57:03,287 I was an awful wife. My kids are miserable. 1227 00:57:03,420 --> 00:57:05,756 Give me one good reason why I shouldn't be drinking. 1228 00:57:05,890 --> 00:57:07,925 I meant you shouldn't be drinking alone. 1229 00:57:08,058 --> 00:57:09,159 (BANGS TABLE) 1230 00:57:13,464 --> 00:57:14,932 My mistake. 1231 00:57:26,544 --> 00:57:27,878 (GRUMBLES) 1232 00:57:28,012 --> 00:57:29,914 Why'd you stop talking to me? 1233 00:57:30,180 --> 00:57:32,617 Why, I'm pretty sure we're talking now. 1234 00:57:32,750 --> 00:57:35,553 You stopped returning calls, you stopped writing... 1235 00:57:35,686 --> 00:57:37,622 - No, I didn't. - Yes, you did. 1236 00:57:38,222 --> 00:57:39,624 Well, you look terrible. 1237 00:57:39,757 --> 00:57:41,225 Well, I feel terrible, Walter. 1238 00:57:41,358 --> 00:57:42,593 Well, you... 1239 00:57:42,727 --> 00:57:44,128 You look it. 1240 00:57:47,297 --> 00:57:49,466 - (GLASS CLINKS) - (SIGHS) 1241 00:57:49,600 --> 00:57:51,168 Look... 1242 00:57:52,036 --> 00:57:55,139 I read three different articles this week about... 1243 00:57:55,472 --> 00:57:56,674 food allergies. 1244 00:57:57,975 --> 00:58:01,245 Three. That can't be a coincidence. 1245 00:58:02,079 --> 00:58:05,983 They say, what you eat directly contributes to how you feel. 1246 00:58:06,116 --> 00:58:08,252 You can be allergic to something. 1247 00:58:08,385 --> 00:58:09,954 And-- And it-- And it causes-- 1248 00:58:10,087 --> 00:58:12,990 it causes mood swings, and you aren't aware of it. 1249 00:58:13,223 --> 00:58:14,458 That's not this. 1250 00:58:14,592 --> 00:58:17,995 Look, there's a man in Enid, Oklahoma 1251 00:58:18,128 --> 00:58:19,897 who cut his wife up in a salad bowl 1252 00:58:20,030 --> 00:58:21,766 'cause he was allergic to dairy. 1253 00:58:21,899 --> 00:58:23,167 All three articles talked about him. 1254 00:58:23,300 --> 00:58:24,535 Walter... 1255 00:58:24,669 --> 00:58:27,872 No, all I'm saying is... aside from Buddy... 1256 00:58:28,639 --> 00:58:30,407 The uncertainty? 1257 00:58:30,975 --> 00:58:33,944 The overwhelming emotions? 1258 00:58:35,112 --> 00:58:36,446 Yeah? 1259 00:58:38,315 --> 00:58:40,384 Could all be tuna. 1260 00:58:43,253 --> 00:58:44,388 Yeah. 1261 00:58:45,155 --> 00:58:46,423 (SELENA) Glad you could ditch with me. 1262 00:58:46,557 --> 00:58:48,058 (LES) I always ditch PE. 1263 00:58:48,826 --> 00:58:50,327 How long have you lived here? 1264 00:58:51,295 --> 00:58:52,763 God, too long. 1265 00:58:52,897 --> 00:58:55,666 I know everything everyone's gonna say before they say it. 1266 00:58:56,433 --> 00:58:57,835 Intolerable. 1267 00:58:58,302 --> 00:59:00,738 I'm moving to LA first chance I get. 1268 00:59:01,138 --> 00:59:02,973 If Debbie Gibson can be a rockstar... 1269 00:59:03,107 --> 00:59:05,743 I'm giving myself five years to make it in New York. 1270 00:59:05,876 --> 00:59:07,011 I'm going to an acting school 1271 00:59:07,144 --> 00:59:08,679 where they don't just teach acting... 1272 00:59:08,813 --> 00:59:11,148 but how to become rich and be fascinating. 1273 00:59:11,281 --> 00:59:13,751 My dad said they have those in New York. 1274 00:59:14,451 --> 00:59:15,786 Wait, you're gay? 1275 00:59:18,088 --> 00:59:19,323 What? 1276 00:59:19,690 --> 00:59:23,160 Mm. All actors are just a little bit gay. 1277 00:59:27,064 --> 00:59:28,398 Do you wanna touch my boob? 1278 00:59:30,735 --> 00:59:32,002 Yeah. 1279 00:59:34,705 --> 00:59:36,273 Uh, under the shirt. 1280 00:59:37,141 --> 00:59:38,142 Oh. 1281 00:59:41,746 --> 00:59:43,013 Hey, your brother seems way cool. 1282 00:59:43,147 --> 00:59:44,815 - Mm. - He have a girlfriend? 1283 00:59:44,949 --> 00:59:46,717 - Uh-uh. - Hmm. 1284 00:59:46,851 --> 00:59:49,286 Okay, it doesn't screw off, Les. That's enough. 1285 00:59:52,356 --> 00:59:54,892 I saw Hair when I was eight 'cause... 1286 00:59:55,192 --> 00:59:57,594 my dad said he'd rather I learn about sex in the theater 1287 00:59:57,728 --> 00:59:58,963 than the street. 1288 00:59:59,229 --> 01:00:01,666 People here are obsessed with sex. 1289 01:00:01,966 --> 01:00:04,068 You know, I'm in AP Calculus. 1290 01:00:04,201 --> 01:00:06,370 But no one ever talks about that. 1291 01:00:06,971 --> 01:00:08,405 I know what the guys here say about me. 1292 01:00:08,538 --> 01:00:10,775 But I'm not doing anything they're not doing. 1293 01:00:10,908 --> 01:00:12,542 Anything they wish they were doing. 1294 01:00:12,677 --> 01:00:13,911 Exactly. 1295 01:00:14,044 --> 01:00:15,345 Intolerable. 1296 01:00:17,081 --> 01:00:18,816 Yeah, it just really upsets people here 1297 01:00:18,949 --> 01:00:21,819 that I have a working brain, and a working vagina. 1298 01:00:22,653 --> 01:00:23,854 (GAGS) 1299 01:00:26,490 --> 01:00:27,925 Intolerable. 1300 01:00:28,625 --> 01:00:30,060 Intolerable. 1301 01:00:30,961 --> 01:00:33,130 (ORGAN MUSIC PLAYS) 1302 01:00:35,833 --> 01:00:39,603 ♪ On a hill far away ♪ 1303 01:00:39,737 --> 01:00:43,908 ♪ Stood an old rugged cross ♪ 1304 01:00:44,041 --> 01:00:50,881 ♪ The emblem Of suffering and shame ♪ 1305 01:00:51,615 --> 01:00:56,053 (SINGING MUFFLES) ♪ And I love that old cross ♪ 1306 01:00:56,186 --> 01:00:59,957 ♪ Where the dearest and best ♪ 1307 01:01:00,090 --> 01:01:06,764 ♪ For a world of lost sinners Was slain ♪ 1308 01:01:07,064 --> 01:01:08,799 Thank you so much for coming today. 1309 01:01:10,400 --> 01:01:12,937 - Pastor Ellis, I'm Macy Smart. - Oh, hi, Macy. 1310 01:01:13,070 --> 01:01:15,139 I hear the church is looking for a bookkeeper. 1311 01:01:15,272 --> 01:01:16,540 Yes, actually, 1312 01:01:16,673 --> 01:01:18,976 our Miss Rowbottom's leaving us to get married. 1313 01:01:19,109 --> 01:01:23,047 I have over 15 years experience in bookkeeping for my husband. 1314 01:01:23,180 --> 01:01:25,515 - Okay, and your husband is-- - Dead? Yes. 1315 01:01:25,649 --> 01:01:26,917 Oh. 1316 01:01:27,051 --> 01:01:29,286 His number came up, as we say in bookkeeping. 1317 01:01:29,419 --> 01:01:30,520 I see. 1318 01:01:31,055 --> 01:01:33,357 Look. Apparently, I'm a control freak 1319 01:01:33,490 --> 01:01:35,926 with control over absolutely nothing in my life. 1320 01:01:36,060 --> 01:01:38,896 And I'm also seemingly dull and uninteresting, 1321 01:01:39,029 --> 01:01:40,931 so perfect for the job. 1322 01:01:41,899 --> 01:01:44,068 I'll see what we can do, Macy. 1323 01:01:46,070 --> 01:01:48,505 It was a lot of this, watch... Double take. 1324 01:01:49,139 --> 01:01:51,041 - (BOTH LAUGH) - Triple take. 1325 01:01:51,508 --> 01:01:53,944 - (LAUGHTER) - It was so... Oh, my God! 1326 01:01:54,078 --> 01:01:55,813 It was like serving time in thespian jail. 1327 01:01:55,946 --> 01:01:57,047 And the more I tried to escape, 1328 01:01:57,181 --> 01:01:58,348 the more musicals they'd put me in. 1329 01:01:58,482 --> 01:01:59,917 That's bizarre, dude. 1330 01:02:00,050 --> 01:02:02,386 I know, and I'm fantasizing about football and tackling 1331 01:02:02,519 --> 01:02:04,922 and for real, this is what they have me doing. 1332 01:02:05,055 --> 01:02:06,656 On stage, in front of everyone. 1333 01:02:06,791 --> 01:02:08,893 Eight shows a week. Triple time step! 1334 01:02:09,026 --> 01:02:10,761 - (TAPPING) - (LAUGHTER) 1335 01:02:10,895 --> 01:02:13,363 It wasn't actually like that. 1336 01:02:13,798 --> 01:02:15,933 It was actually really great. 1337 01:02:16,166 --> 01:02:18,402 Come on! "Moon, June, croon, tune" 1338 01:02:18,535 --> 01:02:19,603 and the "feelings" bullshit. 1339 01:02:20,337 --> 01:02:22,239 It was so corny and embarrassing. 1340 01:02:22,372 --> 01:02:23,974 I never told any of my friends what I was doing 1341 01:02:24,108 --> 01:02:25,575 'cause I know I'd never live it down. 1342 01:02:25,709 --> 01:02:26,877 It wasn't corny. 1343 01:02:27,011 --> 01:02:28,913 It was corn right off the cob, Les. 1344 01:02:29,046 --> 01:02:30,480 You just weren't good at it. 1345 01:02:33,183 --> 01:02:35,385 Everything's different up there. 1346 01:02:35,853 --> 01:02:37,421 The energy, the intensity. 1347 01:02:38,055 --> 01:02:39,890 You connect with everybody simultaneously 1348 01:02:40,024 --> 01:02:41,758 and bring them together. 1349 01:02:41,892 --> 01:02:43,527 That's the opposite of corny. 1350 01:02:44,929 --> 01:02:46,663 - We were good. - No. 1351 01:02:46,797 --> 01:02:48,665 We were terrible, Les. 1352 01:02:49,099 --> 01:02:51,568 Dad told you we were good, and you believed him. 1353 01:02:52,903 --> 01:02:54,738 And we were a joke. 1354 01:02:55,005 --> 01:02:57,007 And Dad picked that joke over us. 1355 01:02:58,909 --> 01:03:00,310 And he died for it. 1356 01:03:01,411 --> 01:03:02,847 (SCOFFS) I mean, he wanted to be good, 1357 01:03:02,980 --> 01:03:04,414 but you gotta face the truth, 1358 01:03:04,548 --> 01:03:05,983 Dad was the joke. 1359 01:03:07,584 --> 01:03:09,586 Dad was fucking tragic. 1360 01:03:10,254 --> 01:03:12,389 - Take it back! - (CROWD) Whoa. 1361 01:03:15,392 --> 01:03:19,229 Dad went after what he loved 100%, and that's brave. 1362 01:03:19,363 --> 01:03:22,199 We were special, and you weren't. 1363 01:03:22,666 --> 01:03:24,601 That's not Dad's fault. 1364 01:03:25,069 --> 01:03:28,205 You're just a boring, ordinary asshole, Derrick. 1365 01:03:32,742 --> 01:03:34,912 Dad wasn't tragic! 1366 01:03:36,313 --> 01:03:39,583 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 1367 01:03:41,051 --> 01:03:42,786 We were special. 1368 01:03:43,187 --> 01:03:46,423 (INDISTINCT CHATTER CONTINUES) 1369 01:03:49,593 --> 01:03:51,561 What are you and Derrick fighting about? 1370 01:03:55,799 --> 01:03:57,634 I'm not talking about it with you. 1371 01:03:58,936 --> 01:04:00,237 Okay. 1372 01:04:01,238 --> 01:04:02,172 Why not? 1373 01:04:02,306 --> 01:04:04,241 Because you cheated on Dad. 1374 01:04:08,612 --> 01:04:10,614 Is that what you and Derrick were fighting about? 1375 01:04:11,548 --> 01:04:12,549 You know... 1376 01:04:13,650 --> 01:04:15,752 I'm gonna be so famous. 1377 01:04:15,886 --> 01:04:19,123 Everyone's gonna piss themselves wishing they were nicer to me. 1378 01:04:19,256 --> 01:04:21,158 When the money comes in... 1379 01:04:21,291 --> 01:04:24,261 I'm gonna make Kyle my assistant and treat him terrible. 1380 01:04:24,394 --> 01:04:27,331 No matter what he does, it's not good enough. 1381 01:04:27,464 --> 01:04:29,699 And when it's time to give him a raise, I'm gonna fire him. 1382 01:04:32,970 --> 01:04:34,471 Okay, you wanna join me here 1383 01:04:34,604 --> 01:04:36,006 - in reality for a second? - No. 1384 01:04:36,140 --> 01:04:37,607 Reality sucks. It's better in my head. 1385 01:04:37,741 --> 01:04:38,708 But it's not real. 1386 01:04:38,842 --> 01:04:40,377 - It's better. - It's not. 1387 01:04:40,510 --> 01:04:43,447 It's braver to face things head on. 1388 01:04:45,049 --> 01:04:46,750 Artists appreciate truth. 1389 01:04:47,918 --> 01:04:49,753 You're not an artist. 1390 01:04:49,886 --> 01:04:52,689 Your dreams never happened, so now you don't dream at all. 1391 01:04:52,990 --> 01:04:54,891 That's the opposite of brave. 1392 01:04:55,025 --> 01:04:58,795 No, you don't dream when you're just trying to survive, Les. 1393 01:04:58,929 --> 01:05:00,297 That's exactly when you do. 1394 01:05:00,430 --> 01:05:04,568 No, you face facts and you deal with them. 1395 01:05:04,701 --> 01:05:07,537 Dreams are fine, but dreams can also destroy you. 1396 01:05:07,904 --> 01:05:09,606 I am trying... 1397 01:05:10,040 --> 01:05:11,675 to protect you, Les. 1398 01:05:11,808 --> 01:05:13,310 That's my job. 1399 01:05:13,443 --> 01:05:14,878 - You're limiting me. - No. 1400 01:05:15,012 --> 01:05:18,015 You want me to pick the safest, smallest life possible. 1401 01:05:18,615 --> 01:05:19,916 Honey... 1402 01:05:20,050 --> 01:05:22,686 I'm giving myself five years to make it in New York. 1403 01:05:22,819 --> 01:05:26,556 I'm not gonna be small and simple like you. 1404 01:05:28,058 --> 01:05:30,060 I'm going after what I want. 1405 01:05:30,627 --> 01:05:34,231 And I'm dreaming fucking big, just like my dad. 1406 01:05:38,868 --> 01:05:41,471 You're not ever gonna forgive me, are you? 1407 01:05:57,187 --> 01:05:58,522 - (EXHALES) - (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 1408 01:06:01,992 --> 01:06:03,160 You have everything you need? 1409 01:06:03,293 --> 01:06:05,062 (CHUCKLES) Really? 1410 01:06:05,195 --> 01:06:07,764 (CHUCKLES) Uh, you know what I mean. 1411 01:06:08,698 --> 01:06:10,134 I'm fine. 1412 01:06:11,868 --> 01:06:13,203 Really? 1413 01:06:14,271 --> 01:06:16,706 You know what I mean. Come in. 1414 01:06:19,709 --> 01:06:21,311 (BOTH GROAN) 1415 01:06:24,514 --> 01:06:27,384 (EXHALES) You think you're gonna stay? 1416 01:06:29,186 --> 01:06:30,854 I don't know what to think. 1417 01:06:30,987 --> 01:06:33,290 I'm just... 1418 01:06:34,458 --> 01:06:35,459 Well... 1419 01:06:36,760 --> 01:06:37,961 Questioning everything. 1420 01:06:38,095 --> 01:06:39,296 Yeah. 1421 01:06:40,264 --> 01:06:42,232 I can't even pray. 1422 01:06:43,033 --> 01:06:46,636 Why would I pray to a God that let Buddy die without faith? 1423 01:06:47,204 --> 01:06:49,373 Plus, Buddy knew he was sick. 1424 01:06:50,774 --> 01:06:53,877 He pretended he was fine. He never let on. 1425 01:06:54,144 --> 01:06:55,345 Mm. 1426 01:06:57,047 --> 01:07:00,217 I didn't know Buddy well, but... 1427 01:07:01,585 --> 01:07:02,919 I guess he didn't want you to worry-- 1428 01:07:03,053 --> 01:07:04,488 They warned him. 1429 01:07:05,189 --> 01:07:07,491 Buddy and his big dreams. 1430 01:07:07,624 --> 01:07:09,793 That's what killed him. And I-I... 1431 01:07:09,926 --> 01:07:13,430 I must've known on some level because I kept begging him... 1432 01:07:15,031 --> 01:07:16,666 I don't know how to forgive him. 1433 01:07:17,401 --> 01:07:19,269 I can't forgive myself. 1434 01:07:20,370 --> 01:07:22,439 - Mm. - And I don't know how to... 1435 01:07:23,273 --> 01:07:25,642 live my life now without God. 1436 01:07:27,144 --> 01:07:29,346 You know, growing up, uh... 1437 01:07:30,514 --> 01:07:32,782 I always wanted to protect you. 1438 01:07:32,916 --> 01:07:35,152 But you never needed it. 1439 01:07:37,521 --> 01:07:39,856 Who knew I'd be so bad at it? 1440 01:07:39,989 --> 01:07:41,691 - (LAUGHS) - No... 1441 01:07:44,094 --> 01:07:47,364 What do you suppose Buddy'd say about all this? 1442 01:07:51,368 --> 01:07:53,170 On with the show. 1443 01:07:54,171 --> 01:07:55,372 Hm. 1444 01:07:57,874 --> 01:07:59,276 (MUFFLED MUSIC PLAYS) 1445 01:07:59,409 --> 01:08:00,944 I know what you've heard about me. 1446 01:08:01,345 --> 01:08:03,813 - (EXHALES) - I don't, you know. 1447 01:08:04,181 --> 01:08:05,915 They all just say they've been with me 1448 01:08:06,049 --> 01:08:08,118 because they don't wanna be the only one who hasn't. 1449 01:08:08,252 --> 01:08:10,254 - (EXHALES) - All of 'em. 1450 01:08:10,387 --> 01:08:12,122 (CAN CRINKLES AND CLINKS) 1451 01:08:12,256 --> 01:08:13,190 It's all good. 1452 01:08:13,323 --> 01:08:14,591 (BOTH CHUCKLE) 1453 01:08:14,724 --> 01:08:17,794 You know, I don't say anything because, uh... 1454 01:08:18,528 --> 01:08:20,730 you do what you have to when your last name's Roach. 1455 01:08:20,864 --> 01:08:22,232 (BOTH LAUGH) 1456 01:08:22,366 --> 01:08:24,601 I mean, I don't care, it doesn't bother me, I-- 1457 01:08:25,502 --> 01:08:27,237 I'm leaving town anyway. 1458 01:08:27,571 --> 01:08:29,373 I'm moving to LA to become a singer. 1459 01:08:29,506 --> 01:08:32,609 Don't-- Don't go. I just got here. 1460 01:08:32,742 --> 01:08:35,044 (LAUGHS) You're messed up, huh? 1461 01:08:35,179 --> 01:08:37,247 Wha-- I'm not messed up. 1462 01:08:37,381 --> 01:08:39,316 Uh-huh. No? (LAUGHS) 1463 01:08:39,449 --> 01:08:41,117 - No, no siree-- - Yeah. 1464 01:08:41,251 --> 01:08:42,852 No, I'm-- 1465 01:08:43,187 --> 01:08:44,354 - Okay, yeah, I am. - Yeah. 1466 01:08:44,488 --> 01:08:46,790 - I'm messed up. - (BOTH LAUGH) 1467 01:08:57,334 --> 01:08:58,935 - Okay, slow down. - Hey. 1468 01:09:00,870 --> 01:09:02,272 (CLEARS THROAT) 1469 01:09:05,141 --> 01:09:07,444 Yep, LA. 1470 01:09:09,913 --> 01:09:13,082 Actually, we, um-- We moved here from Milwaukee. 1471 01:09:13,217 --> 01:09:14,218 Mm. 1472 01:09:14,351 --> 01:09:17,187 Yeah, my dad's in manufacturing. 1473 01:09:17,321 --> 01:09:19,489 He worked at the Maybelline cosmetics factory 1474 01:09:19,623 --> 01:09:21,090 until it shut down there. 1475 01:09:21,525 --> 01:09:23,727 I didn't even get a fucking lipstick outta it. 1476 01:09:23,860 --> 01:09:25,562 (BOTH LAUGH) 1477 01:09:26,095 --> 01:09:27,297 Wha... 1478 01:09:27,431 --> 01:09:30,400 Did you know that more Playboy Playmates 1479 01:09:30,534 --> 01:09:33,370 come from Milwaukee, than... 1480 01:09:40,610 --> 01:09:41,845 Shit! 1481 01:09:43,380 --> 01:09:44,781 (BREATHES HEAVILY) 1482 01:09:44,914 --> 01:09:46,450 (WHISPERS INDISTINCTLY) 1483 01:09:53,890 --> 01:09:55,792 (SIGHS) Oh, Dad... 1484 01:09:56,360 --> 01:09:57,927 What's wrong? 1485 01:09:58,528 --> 01:10:01,231 It's just... I don't even miss my dad. 1486 01:10:01,365 --> 01:10:02,699 I-I don't miss him. 1487 01:10:04,934 --> 01:10:06,536 (SOBS) 1488 01:10:07,404 --> 01:10:08,605 Fuck. 1489 01:10:10,640 --> 01:10:11,641 My-- 1490 01:10:12,376 --> 01:10:14,544 It's just, my dad, um... 1491 01:10:17,514 --> 01:10:19,649 (INHALES AND EXHALES DEEPLY) 1492 01:10:20,850 --> 01:10:22,786 Okay, well, um... 1493 01:10:24,354 --> 01:10:26,623 I still want to, so... 1494 01:10:27,357 --> 01:10:28,792 - you can if you want. - (ZIPPER ZIPS) 1495 01:10:30,760 --> 01:10:31,795 Yeah. 1496 01:10:37,634 --> 01:10:39,969 Okay, yeah, Derrick. Off. 1497 01:10:40,103 --> 01:10:41,771 I have to get home. 1498 01:10:43,072 --> 01:10:44,073 What happened? 1499 01:10:45,642 --> 01:10:47,143 You don't remember? 1500 01:10:47,277 --> 01:10:49,078 - (ZIPPER ZIPS) - What? 1501 01:10:50,280 --> 01:10:52,181 Whatever, just take me home. 1502 01:10:52,316 --> 01:10:55,084 Wait. We didn't... 1503 01:10:56,986 --> 01:10:59,856 I-I lost my virginity, and I don't even remember? 1504 01:11:01,190 --> 01:11:02,826 You-- You were a virgin? 1505 01:11:04,561 --> 01:11:05,862 You couldn't tell? 1506 01:11:06,830 --> 01:11:09,899 (QUIRKY UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS) 1507 01:11:12,068 --> 01:11:13,737 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 1508 01:11:17,907 --> 01:11:19,876 (QUIRKY UPBEAT MUSIC CONTINUES) 1509 01:11:22,145 --> 01:11:24,113 (DOOR OPENS) 1510 01:11:26,650 --> 01:11:28,852 Macy, everything all right? 1511 01:11:28,985 --> 01:11:30,454 (SIGHS) 1512 01:11:30,587 --> 01:11:33,523 Everything's sunshine and Santa Claus, Pastor. Why do you ask? 1513 01:11:33,657 --> 01:11:35,559 Well, the high school just called. 1514 01:11:35,692 --> 01:11:38,462 They wanna know if you'd come in at 1:00 to talk about Les. 1515 01:11:39,896 --> 01:11:42,165 Oh, well... 1516 01:11:42,632 --> 01:11:45,369 he's having a little trouble adjusting. 1517 01:11:46,803 --> 01:11:51,074 You know, the church has a pretty big outreach, so... 1518 01:11:51,708 --> 01:11:54,110 You know, you don't have to do all this alone, Macy. 1519 01:11:54,243 --> 01:11:57,447 Well... I'm taking a vacation from church. 1520 01:11:57,581 --> 01:12:01,284 Well, you're literally working... for a church. 1521 01:12:01,418 --> 01:12:02,819 (LAUGHS) 1522 01:12:02,952 --> 01:12:05,689 Well... I'm not working very hard. 1523 01:12:05,822 --> 01:12:09,993 Look, I just meant that I know how messy it all is. 1524 01:12:10,126 --> 01:12:12,562 And, you know, if you needed help, 1525 01:12:12,696 --> 01:12:15,298 I'm sure the church could spring for an analyst. 1526 01:12:15,632 --> 01:12:18,334 I do not need an analyst. 1527 01:12:18,468 --> 01:12:20,404 I face things head on. 1528 01:12:20,537 --> 01:12:22,105 That's what I do. You know what? 1529 01:12:22,238 --> 01:12:24,474 I hide in the background and keep my mouth shut 1530 01:12:24,608 --> 01:12:25,775 and get things done. 1531 01:12:25,909 --> 01:12:29,779 If anything, I am too sensible, too safe. 1532 01:12:29,913 --> 01:12:32,482 As a matter of fact, I resent this entire conversation. 1533 01:12:32,616 --> 01:12:34,317 I keep a tight reign on things. 1534 01:12:34,451 --> 01:12:37,186 I am managing just fine. Thank you very much. 1535 01:12:37,320 --> 01:12:40,490 I know, I was talking about a financial analyst. 1536 01:12:40,624 --> 01:12:42,592 I was talking about the books, Macy. 1537 01:12:44,728 --> 01:12:46,763 (SIGHS AND GROANS) 1538 01:12:48,698 --> 01:12:50,500 I'll let you finish up. 1539 01:13:00,610 --> 01:13:02,045 (MACY) He said what now? 1540 01:13:02,178 --> 01:13:04,047 God doesn't exist. 1541 01:13:04,180 --> 01:13:06,049 What class was this for? 1542 01:13:06,516 --> 01:13:07,717 PE. 1543 01:13:07,851 --> 01:13:09,052 PE? 1544 01:13:09,285 --> 01:13:10,554 Coach Gifford was saying 1545 01:13:10,687 --> 01:13:12,922 that it would take an act of God for Les to pass PE 1546 01:13:13,056 --> 01:13:15,324 if he continues the way he is. 1547 01:13:15,459 --> 01:13:16,660 And he responded with-- 1548 01:13:16,793 --> 01:13:19,128 Did the coach ask him what he does believe in? 1549 01:13:19,262 --> 01:13:20,564 'Cause I'd like to know. 1550 01:13:20,697 --> 01:13:23,066 That is a pretty bold statement. 1551 01:13:23,199 --> 01:13:27,070 What-- What do you believe in, if not God? 1552 01:13:27,471 --> 01:13:29,005 I don't know, just... 1553 01:13:30,540 --> 01:13:32,676 Me, I guess. 1554 01:13:32,809 --> 01:13:33,743 (SCOFFS) 1555 01:13:33,877 --> 01:13:37,013 You're 14. You're 14 years old. 1556 01:13:37,146 --> 01:13:38,181 I-I know. 1557 01:13:38,314 --> 01:13:39,683 (MACY STAMMERS) 1558 01:13:39,816 --> 01:13:42,418 I second guess myself every 15 minutes! 1559 01:13:42,552 --> 01:13:44,554 That's an extraordinary statement 1560 01:13:44,688 --> 01:13:46,089 - for a 14-year-old to make... - Mrs. Smart... 1561 01:13:46,222 --> 01:13:47,957 Who thinks like that at 14? 1562 01:13:48,091 --> 01:13:49,493 I don't think you understand-- 1563 01:13:49,626 --> 01:13:52,161 His dad had trouble with God too. Les takes after him. 1564 01:13:52,295 --> 01:13:54,030 (WHISPERS) And he hates the hell out of me right now. 1565 01:13:54,163 --> 01:13:55,632 (SCOFFS) 1566 01:13:55,765 --> 01:13:59,135 But God bless you, Les, if you'll excuse the expression, 1567 01:13:59,268 --> 01:14:01,671 'cause I know how you feel about Him. 1568 01:14:01,805 --> 01:14:04,508 But it's a little like having his dad back. 1569 01:14:04,641 --> 01:14:06,876 I don't think you understand, Mrs. Smart. 1570 01:14:07,010 --> 01:14:09,112 If he continues this way there's a good chance 1571 01:14:09,245 --> 01:14:10,814 that Les will fail PE. 1572 01:14:10,947 --> 01:14:14,250 Oh, he's failing PE! Just wrap your head around that. 1573 01:14:14,383 --> 01:14:17,020 But, he'll make it up in another way, it'll be fine. 1574 01:14:17,153 --> 01:14:20,490 He could be the football team's mascot maybe. 1575 01:14:20,624 --> 01:14:22,091 We're-- We're still, um... 1576 01:14:22,659 --> 01:14:23,827 Um... 1577 01:14:23,960 --> 01:14:24,994 - What are we? - The Beavers. 1578 01:14:25,128 --> 01:14:27,163 Beavers! Dress him up like a beaver. 1579 01:14:27,296 --> 01:14:29,298 (LAUGHING) 1580 01:14:30,900 --> 01:14:32,902 (LAUGHS HARDER) 1581 01:14:33,603 --> 01:14:34,971 Whoo! 1582 01:14:35,805 --> 01:14:37,440 Mom, are you drunk? 1583 01:14:37,574 --> 01:14:39,475 Do not talk to me like that. 1584 01:14:39,609 --> 01:14:42,011 (GASPS) No, you don't! 1585 01:14:42,746 --> 01:14:44,113 Can you believe he's... 1586 01:14:44,247 --> 01:14:46,115 This is not about me. This is just... 1587 01:14:46,249 --> 01:14:47,283 (VOICE FADES AND ECHOES) 1588 01:14:50,386 --> 01:14:52,622 (WALTER) You probably like lox for breakfast. 1589 01:14:52,756 --> 01:14:55,458 But there's no salmon fishing near here. 1590 01:14:55,892 --> 01:14:58,061 Now, bass toast... 1591 01:14:58,795 --> 01:15:01,965 is an undiscovered meal you're gonna love. 1592 01:15:04,033 --> 01:15:07,170 Say... how do you like your school? 1593 01:15:08,504 --> 01:15:09,939 They don't get me here. 1594 01:15:10,073 --> 01:15:11,841 (MURMURS) 1595 01:15:11,975 --> 01:15:14,978 You think I give a shit if people get me? 1596 01:15:16,112 --> 01:15:18,782 You are who you are, that's it. 1597 01:15:19,883 --> 01:15:23,887 Maybe they'll, uh... they'll get you tomorrow. 1598 01:15:25,722 --> 01:15:27,657 Maybe they'll catch up. 1599 01:15:27,791 --> 01:15:30,526 The thing of it is, by the time they do... 1600 01:15:30,827 --> 01:15:32,862 you won't give a shit either. 1601 01:15:35,965 --> 01:15:37,133 Hmm. 1602 01:15:38,802 --> 01:15:40,536 How come you stopped seeing each other? 1603 01:15:40,837 --> 01:15:42,271 You and Mom. 1604 01:15:43,707 --> 01:15:45,241 'Cause we're idiots. 1605 01:15:46,710 --> 01:15:49,679 I was so pissed off... 1606 01:15:50,046 --> 01:15:52,015 when she left town with your dad. 1607 01:15:53,750 --> 01:15:55,985 She was engaged to my best friend, 1608 01:15:56,119 --> 01:15:59,088 and I couldn't understand how she turned her back on all of us 1609 01:15:59,222 --> 01:16:01,591 for a guy she'd known for, like, a week. 1610 01:16:02,592 --> 01:16:04,661 Nobody saw it coming. 1611 01:16:05,161 --> 01:16:06,529 Oh... 1612 01:16:06,896 --> 01:16:09,198 We fought and just, uh... 1613 01:16:09,565 --> 01:16:13,436 measured and doled out the exact amount of love and affection 1614 01:16:13,569 --> 01:16:17,206 we thought the other was giving and gave that exact amount back. 1615 01:16:17,340 --> 01:16:18,307 (CLEARS THROAT) 1616 01:16:18,441 --> 01:16:20,143 Stupid shit. 1617 01:16:20,610 --> 01:16:22,178 Hey, you want, uh... 1618 01:16:23,512 --> 01:16:24,848 (CLEARS THROAT) 1619 01:16:25,715 --> 01:16:27,717 You want butter or cream cheese? 1620 01:16:29,318 --> 01:16:30,453 On bass? 1621 01:16:30,586 --> 01:16:31,821 Yeah. 1622 01:16:32,421 --> 01:16:33,790 Butter. 1623 01:16:35,959 --> 01:16:38,327 I stayed put here all my life. 1624 01:16:38,461 --> 01:16:41,798 Freakin'... Kansas, man. 1625 01:16:44,801 --> 01:16:46,870 I don't know, maybe she was smart. 1626 01:16:52,008 --> 01:16:54,811 You should make up with your brother. 1627 01:16:59,849 --> 01:17:01,685 She's falling down a rabbit hole, 1628 01:17:01,818 --> 01:17:03,820 and I don't know how to help. 1629 01:17:16,933 --> 01:17:18,968 (DOOR OPENS) 1630 01:17:25,842 --> 01:17:29,578 Oh, For God's sake. You would all make the worst spies ever. 1631 01:17:29,713 --> 01:17:30,814 (WALTER LAUGHS) 1632 01:17:30,947 --> 01:17:32,315 - Happy birthday! - Happy birthday! 1633 01:17:32,448 --> 01:17:35,351 Oh, yay! 1634 01:17:35,985 --> 01:17:38,387 (SIGHS) Another year older. 1635 01:17:38,521 --> 01:17:42,058 Here's to the decay of my body and growing old alone. 1636 01:17:42,191 --> 01:17:45,995 Here, this came in the mail a few days ago. 1637 01:17:47,496 --> 01:17:48,765 Derrick... 1638 01:17:48,898 --> 01:17:51,868 Would you open it up? Your mother is hung. 1639 01:17:52,568 --> 01:17:53,937 That's a line from Auntie Mame. 1640 01:17:54,070 --> 01:17:56,873 It's just a line from life now. You can forget all that. 1641 01:17:58,241 --> 01:17:59,575 It's a Bible. 1642 01:17:59,709 --> 01:18:02,812 It's probably from one of the many churches in Jersey. 1643 01:18:03,446 --> 01:18:04,848 Let me see it. 1644 01:18:08,384 --> 01:18:09,518 Nice Bible. 1645 01:18:16,625 --> 01:18:18,795 (SOFT MUSIC PLAYS) 1646 01:18:30,039 --> 01:18:31,841 I don't understand. 1647 01:18:32,675 --> 01:18:34,010 Who's it from? 1648 01:18:36,145 --> 01:18:37,546 Buddy. 1649 01:18:38,982 --> 01:18:40,316 Let me see the postmark. 1650 01:18:40,449 --> 01:18:42,852 Really? You think it's going to say "Kingdom Come?" 1651 01:18:44,453 --> 01:18:47,957 Akron, Ohio. Yeah, it was forwarded from our last address. 1652 01:18:49,092 --> 01:18:51,895 I... I remember him getting it. 1653 01:18:52,028 --> 01:18:53,863 It's engraved. 1654 01:18:53,997 --> 01:18:56,465 Leather bound, he spent money on this. 1655 01:18:57,233 --> 01:18:58,667 We were in the book store. 1656 01:18:58,802 --> 01:19:01,637 It was... kind of random. 1657 01:19:01,771 --> 01:19:03,072 But... 1658 01:19:04,407 --> 01:19:06,142 the effort he went to... 1659 01:19:06,910 --> 01:19:08,444 It made him really happy. 1660 01:19:09,412 --> 01:19:10,579 Then... 1661 01:19:10,880 --> 01:19:13,116 I mean, on, I-I... 1662 01:19:16,585 --> 01:19:18,354 on some level... 1663 01:19:18,988 --> 01:19:21,290 for him to give me this, I mean... 1664 01:19:24,727 --> 01:19:28,231 Maybe he accepted God a little. 1665 01:19:29,298 --> 01:19:31,835 Maybe even just for my sake, right? 1666 01:19:34,303 --> 01:19:35,438 Yeah. 1667 01:19:35,571 --> 01:19:37,006 (GASPS) Okay. 1668 01:19:37,473 --> 01:19:39,475 Okay, wait, wait, wait. (EXHALES) 1669 01:19:46,249 --> 01:19:49,018 We're going to church. Now. All of us. Let's go. 1670 01:19:49,152 --> 01:19:51,154 What? Really? We're going to church? Now? 1671 01:19:51,287 --> 01:19:53,923 (SIGHS) He's not gonna be in purgatory. 1672 01:19:54,057 --> 01:19:56,059 I can make it up to him. 1673 01:19:56,192 --> 01:19:58,527 I-I was just laying here thinking... 1674 01:19:58,661 --> 01:20:01,931 Buddy died never having found faith, but I was wrong. 1675 01:20:02,065 --> 01:20:04,167 He had so much faith in us. 1676 01:20:05,468 --> 01:20:07,236 What're you all standing there for? 1677 01:20:07,370 --> 01:20:08,604 - Move! Go! - All right. 1678 01:20:08,737 --> 01:20:09,705 - Church? - Go! 1679 01:20:09,839 --> 01:20:11,307 - Go! - Church... 1680 01:20:11,440 --> 01:20:12,876 Yay. Happy birthday. 1681 01:20:15,845 --> 01:20:19,248 (SCREEN DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES) 1682 01:20:23,452 --> 01:20:24,487 So... 1683 01:20:26,722 --> 01:20:29,458 you really think he found God all of a sudden? 1684 01:20:31,594 --> 01:20:33,296 Maybe he did. 1685 01:20:34,864 --> 01:20:36,599 In what reality? 1686 01:20:36,900 --> 01:20:38,401 I don't buy it. 1687 01:20:39,668 --> 01:20:42,471 I don't see what's so great about reality. 1688 01:20:43,339 --> 01:20:45,274 It just doesn't work for me. 1689 01:20:49,112 --> 01:20:51,447 How'd you get it postmarked from Akron? 1690 01:20:56,285 --> 01:20:57,386 What? 1691 01:20:57,620 --> 01:20:59,055 That was genius. 1692 01:21:00,723 --> 01:21:01,891 I didn't. 1693 01:21:03,159 --> 01:21:04,360 You didn't? 1694 01:21:04,928 --> 01:21:06,129 I didn't. 1695 01:21:09,899 --> 01:21:11,534 I got Ernie Saracino to. 1696 01:21:13,602 --> 01:21:14,803 There it is. 1697 01:21:15,271 --> 01:21:17,173 It got her out of bed, didn't it? 1698 01:21:17,306 --> 01:21:18,607 So what? 1699 01:21:18,942 --> 01:21:20,043 Now we just spend the rest of our lives 1700 01:21:20,176 --> 01:21:21,677 pretending Dad found God? 1701 01:21:22,645 --> 01:21:23,980 Who's it hurting? 1702 01:21:24,313 --> 01:21:26,449 Ruth Gordon said, "Some days you have to lie." 1703 01:21:29,785 --> 01:21:31,820 You pretend you don't know me in school. 1704 01:21:31,955 --> 01:21:33,256 You're good with that lie. 1705 01:21:34,690 --> 01:21:35,724 Look. 1706 01:21:37,293 --> 01:21:40,429 You're gonna move to New York, and you'll fit in there. 1707 01:21:41,030 --> 01:21:43,432 And you're gonna be really successful. 1708 01:21:44,633 --> 01:21:45,969 I'm-- I'm not. 1709 01:21:47,203 --> 01:21:49,805 I need to fit in here, and... 1710 01:21:50,073 --> 01:21:51,707 I just can't with you around. 1711 01:21:52,675 --> 01:21:54,443 You think I'm going to be successful? 1712 01:21:54,577 --> 01:21:57,346 I'm-- I'm not talented like you, Les. 1713 01:21:58,247 --> 01:22:00,649 Shit, I'm not even talented for Kansas. 1714 01:22:03,052 --> 01:22:06,255 Dad thought what people don't like about you in school, 1715 01:22:06,389 --> 01:22:08,224 they're gonna love about you on the page. 1716 01:22:09,458 --> 01:22:11,527 I mean, he thought you were gonna be a writer. 1717 01:22:14,430 --> 01:22:16,565 And I'm never really gonna get to know him now. 1718 01:22:18,934 --> 01:22:20,736 'Cause I'm an idiot. 1719 01:22:22,571 --> 01:22:25,874 You're not just an idiot, Derrick. 1720 01:22:27,110 --> 01:22:29,012 No one's just one thing. 1721 01:22:30,546 --> 01:22:32,348 You're also selfish and unfair. 1722 01:22:32,481 --> 01:22:34,083 (SCOFFS) Okay. 1723 01:22:34,217 --> 01:22:36,485 (CHUCKLES) 1724 01:22:36,619 --> 01:22:39,155 I think we treat each other terribly 'cause we're family. 1725 01:22:39,288 --> 01:22:40,623 And we know we can. 1726 01:22:46,229 --> 01:22:48,131 (SNIFFLES) 1727 01:22:52,168 --> 01:22:54,037 Wanna hear something funny? 1728 01:22:56,172 --> 01:22:58,341 I tried out for the football team here. 1729 01:23:00,876 --> 01:23:02,145 I didn't make it. 1730 01:23:02,278 --> 01:23:04,313 (ORGAN PLAYING) 1731 01:23:04,447 --> 01:23:07,850 (GIRL SINGING) ♪ O holy night ♪ 1732 01:23:07,983 --> 01:23:12,988 ♪ The stars Are brightly shining ♪ 1733 01:23:13,122 --> 01:23:15,858 ♪ It is the night ♪ 1734 01:23:15,991 --> 01:23:20,696 ♪ Of our dear Savior's birth ♪ 1735 01:23:21,997 --> 01:23:25,268 ♪ Long lay the world ♪ 1736 01:23:25,401 --> 01:23:30,139 ♪ In sin and error pining ♪ 1737 01:23:30,273 --> 01:23:33,008 ♪ Till He appeared ♪ 1738 01:23:33,142 --> 01:23:39,148 ♪ And the soul felt its worth ♪ 1739 01:23:39,282 --> 01:23:43,052 ♪ A thrill of hope ♪ 1740 01:23:43,186 --> 01:23:47,190 ♪ The weary world rejoices ♪ 1741 01:23:47,323 --> 01:23:50,959 ♪ For yonder breaks ♪ 1742 01:23:51,294 --> 01:23:55,364 ♪ A new and glorious morn' ♪ 1743 01:23:55,498 --> 01:23:58,234 ♪ Fall ♪ 1744 01:23:58,367 --> 01:24:02,871 ♪ On your knees ♪ 1745 01:24:03,005 --> 01:24:05,908 ♪ O hear ♪ 1746 01:24:06,041 --> 01:24:10,746 ♪ The angel voices ♪ 1747 01:24:10,879 --> 01:24:14,750 ♪ O night ♪ 1748 01:24:14,883 --> 01:24:17,820 ♪ Divine ♪ 1749 01:24:17,953 --> 01:24:21,056 ♪ O night ♪ 1750 01:24:21,190 --> 01:24:25,728 ♪ When Christ was born ♪ 1751 01:24:25,861 --> 01:24:30,032 ♪ O night ♪ 1752 01:24:30,166 --> 01:24:34,737 ♪ Divine ♪ 1753 01:24:34,870 --> 01:24:38,874 ♪ O night ♪ 1754 01:24:39,242 --> 01:24:45,281 ♪ O night divine ♪ 1755 01:24:48,784 --> 01:24:54,323 (ORGAN CONTINUES) 1756 01:24:54,690 --> 01:24:56,192 - Thank you. - Thank you, Macy. 1757 01:25:05,401 --> 01:25:06,835 Look, I've been thinking. 1758 01:25:08,271 --> 01:25:13,909 I never wanna hear you say you only have five years to make it. 1759 01:25:14,343 --> 01:25:15,478 I played that card with your father, 1760 01:25:15,611 --> 01:25:17,246 and it made us both miserable. 1761 01:25:17,380 --> 01:25:20,716 It's like starting a race with 100 extra pounds on your back. 1762 01:25:20,849 --> 01:25:23,252 You're either all in or you're not. 1763 01:25:23,452 --> 01:25:25,454 - You hear me? - Yeah. 1764 01:25:26,555 --> 01:25:28,591 And don't get so comfortable here. 1765 01:25:29,024 --> 01:25:30,459 We're leaving. 1766 01:25:33,496 --> 01:25:34,797 Come on, let's go. 1767 01:25:46,742 --> 01:25:48,677 - You wanna take a break? - Hmm? 1768 01:25:48,811 --> 01:25:50,979 I mean... You let me know if I'm working you too hard, okay? 1769 01:25:51,113 --> 01:25:52,381 Oh, no, I'm good. 1770 01:25:52,515 --> 01:25:53,982 Seriously, Les, give me a hand. 1771 01:25:54,116 --> 01:25:55,318 Oh. 1772 01:25:57,953 --> 01:25:59,488 - Well... - (DERRICK SIGHS) 1773 01:25:59,622 --> 01:26:01,690 ...you still look terrible. 1774 01:26:02,525 --> 01:26:04,393 But I don't feel terrible. 1775 01:26:04,993 --> 01:26:07,463 Anyway, you oughta see what I'm looking at. 1776 01:26:07,596 --> 01:26:09,097 (LAUGHS) 1777 01:26:09,232 --> 01:26:11,467 Are we staying in empty houses Dee Baskin's selling again? 1778 01:26:11,600 --> 01:26:14,069 (GRUNTS) I negotiated a better deal than that. 1779 01:26:14,203 --> 01:26:15,804 Especially after I heard Joe Henley, 1780 01:26:15,938 --> 01:26:17,373 who took over for Buddy, 1781 01:26:17,506 --> 01:26:19,308 tanked in Milwaukee doing 1782 01:26:19,442 --> 01:26:22,077 Death of a Salesman, of all things. 1783 01:26:22,211 --> 01:26:23,779 If we get our shot in Milwaukee, 1784 01:26:23,912 --> 01:26:26,882 we're gonna do a full season of nothing but Neil Simon. 1785 01:26:27,015 --> 01:26:28,517 Money in the bank. 1786 01:26:28,651 --> 01:26:30,219 (DERRICK) What if we don't get Milwaukee? 1787 01:26:30,353 --> 01:26:31,854 We'll get it. 1788 01:26:31,987 --> 01:26:34,156 Anyway, I've got a couple of tricks up my sleeves. 1789 01:26:34,290 --> 01:26:37,025 Good things are coming, boys. I can feel it in my bones. 1790 01:26:37,159 --> 01:26:38,126 Mm. 1791 01:26:38,261 --> 01:26:40,028 Maybe that's arthritis. 1792 01:26:41,330 --> 01:26:43,399 (BOTH CHUCKLING) 1793 01:26:43,532 --> 01:26:45,834 Feels weird doing this without Dad. 1794 01:26:45,968 --> 01:26:48,837 Well, I guess that makes us weirdos again. 1795 01:26:50,239 --> 01:26:52,741 Derrick, step it up. If you make me late for Ed Monroe-- 1796 01:26:52,875 --> 01:26:55,478 Seriously? I'm literally the only one doing work here. 1797 01:26:55,611 --> 01:26:57,313 Talk back and I'll put you center stage 1798 01:26:57,446 --> 01:26:58,847 in every dance number this summer. 1799 01:26:58,981 --> 01:27:00,849 No, no, way. I'm not doing another musical. 1800 01:27:00,983 --> 01:27:02,618 Triple time step under the spotlight. 1801 01:27:02,751 --> 01:27:04,387 No, uh, you-- you can't-- You can't make me do it. 1802 01:27:04,520 --> 01:27:06,889 I'm a woman drunk with power. I will make you do mime. 1803 01:27:07,022 --> 01:27:08,424 (CHUCKLES) 1804 01:27:08,557 --> 01:27:10,793 Come on, let's go. Say goodbye to Walter. 1805 01:27:13,161 --> 01:27:14,830 - Bye. - See ya. 1806 01:27:30,479 --> 01:27:32,315 (CAR DOOR OPENS) 1807 01:27:33,516 --> 01:27:36,285 - (CAR DOOR CLOSES) - Thank you, Walter. 1808 01:27:39,221 --> 01:27:40,489 Anytime. 1809 01:27:43,326 --> 01:27:44,226 (WHISPERS) Hey. 1810 01:27:52,234 --> 01:27:53,268 (WALTER GRUNTS) 1811 01:27:53,402 --> 01:27:54,670 (HONKS HORN) 1812 01:27:54,803 --> 01:27:56,305 - (DERRICK) Come on, Mom. - Yeah, I'm coming. 1813 01:27:56,605 --> 01:27:58,507 (ENGINE STARTS) 1814 01:28:15,958 --> 01:28:17,125 God. 1815 01:28:18,026 --> 01:28:19,227 (GRUNTS) 1816 01:28:19,695 --> 01:28:21,930 When I was 29, I joined the U.S.O. 1817 01:28:22,064 --> 01:28:25,801 I had no particular talent, but I didn't let that get in my way. 1818 01:28:25,934 --> 01:28:26,969 (AUDIENCE LAUGHS) 1819 01:28:27,102 --> 01:28:28,170 You felt it was your patriotic duty? 1820 01:28:28,303 --> 01:28:30,839 I was single. I was 29. 1821 01:28:30,973 --> 01:28:32,541 I went for the boys. 1822 01:28:32,675 --> 01:28:34,910 - (AUDIENCE LAUGHS) - (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 1823 01:28:35,043 --> 01:28:38,046 Keep that swagger, remember to smile and have fun. 1824 01:28:38,180 --> 01:28:39,114 Off you go. 1825 01:28:39,247 --> 01:28:40,449 Sparkle! 1826 01:28:41,884 --> 01:28:44,019 Could you put these at stage-left prop table for me? 1827 01:28:44,152 --> 01:28:45,120 Thank you so much. 1828 01:28:45,253 --> 01:28:47,390 Places, guys, have a great show. 1829 01:28:48,023 --> 01:28:49,992 - Good show, good show. - (AUDIENCE LAUGHING) 1830 01:28:50,125 --> 01:28:51,159 Uh-- You! 1831 01:28:51,293 --> 01:28:53,496 You did good in your one scene. 1832 01:28:53,629 --> 01:28:55,531 But you're done, one and done. 1833 01:28:55,664 --> 01:28:56,932 You take another step toward that stage, 1834 01:28:57,065 --> 01:28:58,667 it'll be your last step, Lester Smart. 1835 01:28:58,801 --> 01:29:00,335 Mom, I'm nowhere near the stage. 1836 01:29:00,469 --> 01:29:03,238 Mom. Can we have the keys to the car? 1837 01:29:03,472 --> 01:29:05,207 (SIGHS) If I can find 'em. 1838 01:29:05,340 --> 01:29:06,842 Go, go, go! 1839 01:29:08,477 --> 01:29:11,046 (AUDIENCE APPLAUSE) 1840 01:29:11,179 --> 01:29:14,850 (JAZZ MUSIC PLAYS) 1841 01:29:41,243 --> 01:29:42,645 (MUSIC FADES) 1842 01:29:42,778 --> 01:29:44,480 (BUDDY) How's the house? 1843 01:30:05,267 --> 01:30:07,536 What are you up to, Les? 1844 01:30:10,706 --> 01:30:13,676 - Just-- Just watching. - Hmm. 1845 01:30:13,809 --> 01:30:16,879 (SOMBER MUSIC PLAYS) 1846 01:30:20,148 --> 01:30:21,416 Go. 1847 01:30:21,550 --> 01:30:23,619 (SOMBER MUSIC CONTINUES) 1848 01:30:31,426 --> 01:30:33,562 (SOMBER MUSIC CONTINUES) 1849 01:30:44,707 --> 01:30:49,845 (INTRO TO "ONE" PLAYING ON PIANO) 1850 01:30:53,749 --> 01:31:00,388 (MEN) * One singular sensation Every little step he takes ♪ 1851 01:31:01,323 --> 01:31:07,295 ♪ One thrilling combination Every move that he makes ♪ 1852 01:31:09,064 --> 01:31:15,403 ♪ One smile and suddenly Nobody else will do ♪ 1853 01:31:16,271 --> 01:31:23,045 ♪ You know you'll never be Lonely with you-know-who ♪ 1854 01:31:23,178 --> 01:31:29,384 ♪ One moment in his presence And you can't forget the rest ♪ 1855 01:31:30,318 --> 01:31:37,526 ♪ For the guy is second best To none, son ♪ 1856 01:31:37,660 --> 01:31:39,427 ♪ Ooh! Sigh! ♪ 1857 01:31:39,562 --> 01:31:41,263 ♪ Give him your attention ♪ 1858 01:31:41,396 --> 01:31:44,800 ♪ Do I Really have to mention ♪ 1859 01:31:44,933 --> 01:31:51,039 ♪ He's the one ♪ 1860 01:31:56,211 --> 01:31:58,914 ♪ She walks into a room And you know ♪ 1861 01:31:59,047 --> 01:32:01,216 (WOMEN) * She's uncommonly rare Very unique ♪ 1862 01:32:01,349 --> 01:32:03,451 ♪ Peripatetic Poetic and chic ♪ 1863 01:32:03,586 --> 01:32:06,254 (ALL) * She walks into a room And you know ♪ 1864 01:32:06,388 --> 01:32:08,957 ♪ From her maddening poise Effortless whirl ♪ 1865 01:32:09,091 --> 01:32:10,458 ♪ She's a special girl ♪ 1866 01:32:10,593 --> 01:32:14,262 ♪ Strolling ♪ 1867 01:32:14,730 --> 01:32:16,198 ♪ Can't help ♪ 1868 01:32:16,464 --> 01:32:20,903 ♪ All of her qualities Extolling ♪ 1869 01:32:21,269 --> 01:32:23,338 ♪ Loaded with charisma Is ma ♪ 1870 01:32:23,471 --> 01:32:25,373 ♪ Jauntily sauntering Ambling shambler ♪ 1871 01:32:25,507 --> 01:32:28,110 ♪ She walks into a room And you know ♪ 1872 01:32:28,243 --> 01:32:30,478 ♪ You must shuffle along Join the parade ♪ 1873 01:32:30,613 --> 01:32:32,981 ♪ She's the quintessence Of making the grade ♪ 1874 01:32:33,115 --> 01:32:36,451 ♪ This is whatcha call Traveling ♪ 1875 01:32:36,585 --> 01:32:38,153 ♪ Oh strut your stuff! ♪ 1876 01:32:38,286 --> 01:32:43,291 ♪ Can't get enough of her ♪ 1877 01:32:43,425 --> 01:32:46,995 ♪ Love her! ♪ 1878 01:32:47,429 --> 01:32:52,968 ♪ I'm a son of a gun She is one of a kind! ♪ 1879 01:32:53,802 --> 01:32:54,970 (MEN) * One ♪ 1880 01:32:55,103 --> 01:32:56,639 (WOMEN) ♪ She walks into a room ♪ 1881 01:32:56,772 --> 01:32:58,206 - ♪ Singular sensation ♪ - ♪ And you know she's ♪ 1882 01:32:58,340 --> 01:32:59,574 (WOMEN) * Uncommonly rare Very unique ♪ 1883 01:32:59,708 --> 01:33:00,475 ♪ Peripatetic Poetic and chic ♪ 1884 01:33:00,609 --> 01:33:01,777 (MEN) * One ♪ 1885 01:33:01,910 --> 01:33:03,679 (WOMEN) ♪ She walks into a room ♪ 1886 01:33:03,812 --> 01:33:05,280 - ♪ Thrilling combination ♪ - ♪ And you know from her ♪ 1887 01:33:05,413 --> 01:33:06,715 (WOMEN) * Maddening poise Effortless whirl ♪ 1888 01:33:06,849 --> 01:33:09,484 ♪ She's a special girl Strolling ♪ 1889 01:33:09,618 --> 01:33:12,354 (MEN) * One smile and suddenly Nobody else ♪ 1890 01:33:12,487 --> 01:33:14,056 - ♪ Can't help ♪ - ♪ Will do ♪ 1891 01:33:14,189 --> 01:33:16,224 (WOMEN) * All of her qualities Extolling ♪ 1892 01:33:16,358 --> 01:33:18,526 (MEN) * You know You'll never be lonely ♪ 1893 01:33:18,661 --> 01:33:20,362 - ♪ With you-know-who ♪ - ♪ Loaded with charisma ♪ 1894 01:33:20,495 --> 01:33:22,765 ♪ Is ma jauntily sauntering Ambling shambler ♪ 1895 01:33:22,898 --> 01:33:25,200 ♪ She walks into a room And you know ♪ 1896 01:33:25,333 --> 01:33:27,602 ♪ You must shuffle along Join the parade ♪ 1897 01:33:27,736 --> 01:33:29,371 ♪ She's the quintessence Of making the grade ♪ 1898 01:33:29,504 --> 01:33:33,241 ♪ This is whatcha call Traveling ♪ 1899 01:33:33,575 --> 01:33:34,977 ♪ Oh, strut your stuff! ♪ 1900 01:33:35,110 --> 01:33:39,815 ♪ Can't get enough of her ♪ 1901 01:33:39,948 --> 01:33:43,351 ♪ Love her! ♪ 1902 01:33:43,485 --> 01:33:45,788 - ♪ I'm a son of a gun ♪ - (MEN) * She's the... ♪ 1903 01:33:45,921 --> 01:33:50,492 - ♪ She is one of a kind! ♪ - (MEN) * One ♪ 1904 01:33:50,859 --> 01:33:57,299 (ORCHESTRAL MUSIC CONTINUES) 1905 01:34:00,903 --> 01:34:02,070 (ALL) * One! ♪ 1906 01:34:02,938 --> 01:34:07,976 ♪ Singular sensation Every little step she takes ♪ 1907 01:34:08,110 --> 01:34:11,279 ♪ One! Thrilling combination ♪ 1908 01:34:11,413 --> 01:34:14,149 ♪ Every move that she makes ♪ 1909 01:34:15,650 --> 01:34:21,690 ♪ One smile and suddenly Nobody else will do ♪ 1910 01:34:22,524 --> 01:34:29,131 ♪ You know you'll never be Lonely with you-know-who ♪ 1911 01:34:29,264 --> 01:34:30,966 ♪ One! ♪ 1912 01:34:31,099 --> 01:34:34,937 ♪ Moment in her presence And you can't forget the rest ♪ 1913 01:34:36,304 --> 01:34:41,309 ♪ For the girl Is second-best to none ♪ 1914 01:34:41,443 --> 01:34:43,311 ♪ Son ♪ 1915 01:34:43,445 --> 01:34:44,847 ♪ Ooh! Sigh! ♪ 1916 01:34:44,980 --> 01:34:46,782 ♪ Give her your attention ♪ 1917 01:34:46,915 --> 01:34:50,018 ♪ Do I really have to mention ♪ 1918 01:34:50,152 --> 01:34:53,588 ♪ She's the ♪ 1919 01:34:53,722 --> 01:34:57,492 ♪ She's the ♪ 1920 01:34:57,625 --> 01:35:03,198 ♪ She's the one! ♪ 131851