Original subtitles

I don't know why, Angel.

That's what he used to call me.

It's always time to leave the lab.

I've put positive for heroin.

I've booked the registry office.

Which only leaves the best man to sort out.

Jim.

Dewey's having an open day on the 15th.

That's our chance.

And I need you to get back in with that screw, what's her name?

Karen Betts. She'll take the heat off me.

They're around you, Mum.

Don't worry.

I won't break.

No.

They'd mind.

There's going to be a breakout.

Shall I invite her?

Oh, it's up to you.

I have got my stag night to deal with.

You know, I can't believe it, Neil.

In a couple of days' time, we are going to be Mr and Mrs Grayley.

And no one's even batted an arm in.

Yeah, let's just bat natural and keep it that way, huh?

Not then.

What the hell are you doing here?

I'll miss you tonight.

How's your holiday?

I'm at work, okay?

I tried calling you.

I can't have you turning up at work, so please, just respect what we agreed.

Tonight, then?

Goodbye, Richie.

I'll call you.

Don't just stand there like an idiot.

That kettle won't boil itself, will it?

I'm going to be honest, Karen. I don't see why you needed to tell me this.

Tea? No, thanks.

I don't want anybody questioning my professional integrity.

Well, so long as you don't confuse personal and professional, how are you

compromised?

You don't see a difficulty in me looking after Yvonne Atkins and having an

affair with her son?

Are you trying to tell me he has a criminal record?

No, no, not at all.

Richie didn't want anything to do with the family business.

He's been in Spain the last few years.

Well, then.

Look, if you're asking me to slap your wrists for fancying a younger man, I

won't do it.

If you want me to tell you not to see an Atkins...

I can't do it.

I just thought you should know.

And I appreciate your integrity.

But we all have a right to a private life.

God, sorry, Mark told me.

I hear congratulations are in order.

Well, I hope you'll be able to make it to the wedding.

Of course.

Neil, I know it probably doesn't need to be said, but... Completely

confidential.

Thanks, I appreciate it.

Yeah, hello, Ted. What can I do for you?

Seven o 'clock at the Meridian.

Then it's on to jumping duties for Eats and Entertainment.

That sounds, um, interesting.

Two words, Shania Twain.

Lion dancing.

Well, I'm going to have to look at my diary, but I don't think... No, no, I

word with your secretary. She said your last meeting finished the same time as

our shift, so we can all share a taxi.

Oh.

Slashing. Jim.

I hear Neil's chosen you for his best man.

Nice to know you've kissed a maid up.

Now, Mr Grayling's adopt a prisoner scheme. Good response from local

Thanks to Jim's presentation at the Lark Hall Masonic Lodge.

Managed to get a few of the inmates to volunteer as well.

Including Atkins and Tyler, I hear.

On your own head.

And I've had a change of occupation app from the Julie's. All three of them.

For education classes.

So they can all sit on their idle backsides.

They'd do better to apply themselves to the survey and be grateful.

We want to encourage all our women into the classroom.

Or who'd be left to wash these?

Sorry to interrupt.

I've just had a phone call from Aria.

It's going to affect every one of us.

They say no news is good news, yeah?

Suppose it ain't, Jew.

Well, don't worry about it, Jew.

Then if they turn us down, we ain't lost nothing.

I'm not kidding about this, Jew.

I've got my heart set on it.

Right, yeah.

But we'd miss all this, wouldn't we?

We've got six months.

If we fail, they throw us to the dogs.

Privatisation?

Locking people up for profit?

Can't be right, can it?

It'll be the wages and conditions that won't be right, because it'll be

for the union.

Look, we can win, John, or we prove ourselves.

I'm telling you guys, G -Wing is the make -or -break now. Got to use this

day to show the sceptics that we have listened and learned, and we're making

this prison work.

So let's get busy.

OK?

I hope you're not going to regret taking this job back, Karen, because...

Well, if we don't pull it off, it's not just my neck.

They're going to want a clean sweep.

Frigging bitch.

She's going to pay for this.

You promised, Denny.

I knew she'd write to me.

Thanks, bounce man. You're a mate.

Barbara, may I?

I wondered if I could recruit your computer skills to help me sell myself.

We're all setting out our stalls for this open day. I'm trying to drum up

support from our local religious communities.

If you could turn this into an eye -catching handout.

How many copies do you want?

I've got Rabbi Goldstein coming, Dr. Ibrahim, the nuns from St.

Saviour's, St. Vincent of Port.

So how long's Roisin going to lie rotting on the Muppet wing now that

back in charge?

Why don't you give a shit either?

It won't help Roisin if you're down the block when she gets out.

I'm just worried, that's all.

As it happens, I'm on my way to see the SMO right now. The next time, think

before you kick off.

You must be Snowball Merriman. That's me, ma 'am.

I'm Miss Betswing, Governor.

I'll be needing a catch -up soon, OK?

Yeah, sure.

Andy Vaughan.

A word in my office after work, if you don't mind.

You what?

11 .30.

Leon, are you from somewhere?

Better not be.

Feeling nicely?

Hello, Roisin.

Well, I don't know how you're feeling, but... I shouldn't be here.

I'm not insane.

Obviously, you're getting the right help.

If you put me back on G -Wing, you have my word, I won't swallow as much as an

aspirin.

Mr. Fennel.

Betts want to see Atkins in her office this morning.

Eh? Thought you might have tipped her off.

Don't be daft.

I don't want Atkins pulled till she's in the back.

Only I heard that Atkins' son's coming in to visit her today.

I'll have to go out on a limb to get this okayed.

You're a star, Mrs. Ollenby.

I said, if the Jewelers want to study schoolbooks instead of earning extra

spends, who are we to say they'll regret it? We won't.

Don't worry.

As long as you're confident.

We are.

I can keep your jobs until tomorrow, if you change your mind.

But don't come crying to me after that.

Now, which?

She just wants to keep us skivvying.

Give her that, Kim. Sorry. Oh.

Uh, fill reallocations before the attention is...

First day back in a suit and coming on over.

Please, take a seat.

What have I done now?

Another drowning before breakfast?

There's a personal matter I want to discuss.

Jesus Christ, it's not Lauren.

No.

No, actually, it's about Richie.

Richie?

Look, this is awkward.

But I wanted to tell you in case you hear it from someone else.

Before I went away, Richie and I, well, we, uh... We met up.

The same big night as me.

What are you doing running around with a kid like Richie? There is no running

around.

It's not a big thing, but I felt you should hear it from me.

Jesus Christ.

What, is this some form of new punishment?

I am not interested in discussing this any further, Yvonne.

You need to accept that this is between me and Richie.

You sad cow.

I think I've made myself clear.

I've got to claw your bloody eyes out.

I wouldn't expect any less of you if I'm disgusting.

And I'll be telling Richie that when he comes to visit today.

I want you to really look at what you're given.

Try to see past its name.

The word stone.

Feather. Yeah?

I want you to touch your object.

Smell it.

That's right.

Feel it.

I want you to get to know your object, and then I want you to write down your

thoughts. Whatever comes into your head.

Don't worry too much about spelling or grammar.

Let's begin to express ourselves.

I don't think that springs to mind about a feather. It's a punter I used to

have. Old Judge used to stick one up his arse and go cock -a -doodle -doo.

Shut up, will you, June?

Clean me off.

Here, June.

Come on, now, settle down.

Bookie, you're a mum, aren't you?

Yeah, and?

I'm doing a project for this open day.

That mum's in here separated from their kids.

I gave my son up for adoption.

So you don't know where he is now?

Yeah, of course I do.

I picked the parents myself, innit?

Yeah.

My little Lennox is sorted now.

I give him to this really cool couple.

Well loaded.

Living in a big old mansion with a pool, yeah? And dog.

And horses.

And pigs right at my twat.

There's no need to be ashamed, Vicky.

Do I look ashamed?

But it's these dogs coming to visit I want to make feel ashamed.

I want to tell them about you, Bookie.

He could be dead now for all I know.

It's illegal to tell me, isn't it?

And you're going to let that dog be trying to find him?

You know his date of birth, yeah?

Anything else?

cut him from the paper from when I left him in the bogs.

Winsome, what the nurse had called him.

But his real name's Lennox.

And here's me thinking you were pining away on yourself.

No such luck.

I reckon I've been stunned all my life.

I've soaked up all the messes I've been dumping and some that other people have

spilled on me.

From now on...

I'm only going to soak up good things.

The sponge isn't just for taking things in.

They can squeeze things out.

And I'm going to squeeze out the bad things, too.

Well done, Junie.

Now, who wants to follow that?

Anyone?

Bloody hell, Ju.

That was a bit deep.

I can't read mine out after that. You'll chuck me out.

Anybody? Junie?

You have a talent there, Julie.

We should work on that.

Jeez, miss.

I was only doing that what you said.

Come on, Julia.

Maybe you'd consider writing a poem for your Wings Open Day.

Think about it, yeah?

Hello,

Mum.

I thought you might not show.

Come on.

What did I say on that card? I said it was OK.

But you've got yourself a new girlfriend now, haven't you?

No time for girlfriends.

I'm trying to get my business up and running again.

I've seen some mates about setting up a minicab firm.

Oh, yeah.

Problem is, see, I've got no credit record to raise a bank loan.

I'm not here anyways.

You know, after they cut me off.

And I was thinking...

Well, there's Lauren sitting pretty in Chelsea.

There's a bunch of flash motors laying idle in the driveway.

I mean, surely I'm entitled to sell him a bit of cash.

Especially after all the shit I took off him.

I'm not saying you ain't.

But the difference between you and your sister Lauren is that I can trust her

not to tell me lies.

What are you on about? You can trust me too.

Really?

So why didn't you tell me you were screwing the governor?

Eh? Don't deny it, Richie.

Bet told me herself.

It's been so horrible, babe.

Being here on my own at night.

Just keep turning things over and over.

I reckon I'm a selfish cow.

I've been most of my life. Don't be ridiculous. I have, Roja, I know it.

Doubt for myself.

Because if I didn't grab it all first, some other knob would.

But being in here with you, what you feel for your kids, no

amount of money can make that better.

So I've decided to use this open day to tell people what present I've been mum

of.

You get behind on the bills, steal a can of beans and that's it.

Your kids get taken into care.

Lose your home.

Come out even worse.

Could you use another volunteer?

Promise me you're going to stay clean.

I promise you.

Love you.

And I don't get why you don't write

back. Oh, Shaz. I'm going to rip Bodybag's tits off, man.

Whatever.

I hate it here and miss you so much.

The cool thing is I've made an app to the

gov. For an in... In...

Give it in.

In a prison visit.

If Grayling agrees we can meet up, how cool would that be, babe?

Wicked man. I'm going to get to see her.

I needn't be pissed off. That's why I get stoned.

It's embarrassing.

Embarrassing? Thank you. A cow locks me up like an animal every night.

I don't want to get one over, that's all.

I swear, I won't be going back for more.

I hope you don't, Richie.

Unless you want to wake up next to Doc Cotton in a few years' time.

Find a girl your own age.

And if it's the unicorn you like, make it a nurse.

Right.

Now money.

I'm always in charge.

I'll give her a call later.

I'm on my way to go.

Right.

That's it, ladies and gents. Wind it up.

I'll take care of the punter's self.

You pull out kids for a strippy.

That's what works.

Just trust Mr. Savvy, all right?

Go on. I'm going to make you proud of me, Mum. I promise.

I'm going to hold you to that.

Right, Atkins, drive out for you. What?

Get over. Whatever you've passed her, we'll find it. Come on. Get you out of

here. Go on. Get out. You bastard.

Go on. Get a move on.

Ow.

I've got a favour to ask you.

Fine. Whatever.

But it means being a little bit brave.

No bother. I mean, you know what I'm in for, right?

Nothing like that, silly.

It's just, Yvonne Atkins has got this radio.

Blows it out all night long.

It's spoiling my beauty sleep.

I'll throw the bastard over the wall and I'll shut the parcel, man. I only want

to make a point out.

If you could just go and fetch it to me in the library.

No problem.

Please, miss, you can't say no. Please.

It's not my decision, Denny.

I'll process your application, but I'm not promising anything.

But what's the deal, man?

Shazza's governor said yes, so why wouldn't Mr Grayley?

Yeah, well, Shazza's governor may be deferring the blame for refusing her.

Into prison visits are normally for close relatives.

Well, that ain't fair, miss.

Because Denny ain't got no close relative, does he, since her mum died?

Shaz is as near as.

They're partners.

Yeah, we love each other, innit? Gay prisoners should have the same rights as

married couples.

It ain't their fault that the law won't let them walk down the bleak aisle.

I'm not saying you haven't got an argument.

Thanks for backing me up, mate.

Anytime, mate.

Legal's what this gob's getting trained up to talk.

Shit. And how are you?

Bits told by myself.

I bet she's looking out the cash for me.

Oh, thank Jesus for that.

Yeah, you're right.

She owes me.

She'll be paying you back a whole lifetime once we fit her up for this

You got the last booking, OK?

Yeah.

And are you dead sure you can make it look like my old girl did it?

You just get yourself back into Betsy's bed.

Eh? Stick to the plan, Richie.

I've got to keep feeding Fenner, so that when it all happens, they'll be after

your mum, not me.

Right. And I've got the most brilliant idea for me going away outfit.

Oh, someone's coming.

Just do your stuff with Beth, yeah?

Hi.

It says Reverend Mills out of his office again.

He was kind enough to let me have a few minutes.

That mother of yours must be very ill indeed.

No, it's gone great today.

I'm really hopeful now.

Fine.

If I could just have a moment.

Of course.

I need some washing and darning.

What's this?

One of my predecessors.

We need a back cloth for the open day displays.

I'm beginning to feel as if I'm in a threesome.

Nothing on it anyway.

Are you sure?

I gave her a good going over.

Jim, I'm off home.

I'll see you at Black's later on.

Don't let me down, though.

What are the others going to think if the best man doesn't turn up to the

stagner?

Oh, you babs, you ain't got a minute, have you?

Just me and the girls, we're trying to write this poem, you know, for Open Day.

And apparently I've got the knack of expression.

I think I lost it as soon as I found it.

Doing my head in trying to make things right.

Oh. Good to see you, Jones.

See, I just need an idea, you know, to get me started.

I thought about something like floating in the Milky Way.

Only I'm not really sure what we'd be doing there.

Just try and write about something personal.

That way there'll be something real in the lines.

Thanks.

What do you think?

Well, we could give it a try.

I feel like we're letting her down for now.

I can't make my brain work faster.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Leave it to me.

Red to Fenner.

What a nice surprise.

You, uh... You heard anything else about Atkins' getaway plan?

Cos her son didn't smuggle her anything in today.

Something did catch me here, actually.

And this, well... Frankly, it was almost unbelievable.

Let me be the judge of that, yeah?

Well... It's just, I heard there might be a prison officer giving a helping

hand, if you know what I mean.

making all this up.

Or Atkins is feeding you a load of crap for a laugh.

Either way, don't waste my time.

Well, it might explain why Miss Betts called her into her office.

I was thinking maybe a rap song, right?

Like, dance moves, rhymes, a lot. Like that geezer, you know, Eminem. I mean,

everybody says he's a poet, and he uses swear words and everything.

I don't know. But I'm going to do what Babsy.

Keep it really personal.

Like about why me and you ain't ended up with brain surgeons.

Something interesting.

We're both mums.

Keeps.

Listen, Jew.

Me and Julie, OK, have been talking, right?

And the fact is, this education lot, it just ain't our scene,

eh?

Sorry, love, but it's no point kidding ourselves, is it?

Only holding you back, dragging us two dunces along, and it ain't fair, are

Jew?

It's just we do everything together.

Don't seem right.

Well, I know, but I can still help you with a rap poem, can't I?

And... Three dancers is better than one, isn't it?

I don't need Miss Green to tell me how to shame my moneymaker, yeah?

All out to stand by the best mate a girl could ever have.

OK, let's start the search engine.

Adoption.

Do you not think we should bring Bookie in on this?

There's no point in getting our hopes up.

Okay, let's try... Where can I find resources on adoption and

fostering in the UK?

There you go.

www .londonchildren .org Bingo.

There's a checklist.

Give me Vicky's cutting.

Well, it can't be that simple.

I'll put all London boroughs.

Mixed race.

White, black, Caribbean.

Could have changed his name again.

Winston. That's him, Cass.

Tell me more about Winston.

Watch you pace yourself on the cocktail, self.

It's going to be a long night.

After the day I've had, I'm fit to keel over right now.

Are we ready to rock?

Just do me, Lippy.

I hope you're ready to learn how to line dance.

Me?

Corinne, who takes my class. She's going to teach you all a routine.

So we can all make a spectacle of ourselves.

Great. Come on.

That'll be fun.

We'll have you doing the tush -push before we can say yee -haw.

Oh, come on, it's not like that.

Buki, how do you spell beautiful?

As in what?

As in your beautiful body.

B -A -C -C -I -E.

You what?

As in kiss my, you dirty dyke.

Can we have a word with Buki in private?

I can write again.

It's a big scenario anyway.

Stop.

We found him, Buki.

Talk of work banned, okay?

So switch your mind onto the subject of text.

Yee -haw.

Di,

I'm going to have to head home.

Oh, what?

Message from my son. He's waiting on the doorstep, no key.

Surprise visit.

Sorry. I'll catch up with you later if I can.

Right.

Bye. I might have guessed she'd find an excuse.

Oh, well.

As long as no one else lets me down tonight, so...

You don't give up, do you?

Even on your own stag night.

It's my last night out as a bachelor, Jim.

Nobody I'd rather share it with.

I thought you'd be flattered.

Flattered, my arse?

Oh, don't be such a spoiled sport. Sit down and stop fussing.

It's fine.

You should be pleased.

After all, we're celebrating my return to be straight and narrow, aren't we?

Chin -chin.

Ah, here's our food.

I thought we'd skip the starter.

Chateaubriand and sweet potato dumplings.

Aren't you just drooling?

Hey, come on.

He might be perfectly happy.

And you can go and see him when you get out.

I've got to talk to my baby.

He can't even walk because of me.

And I was too stoned to give a shit.

I deserve to die.

You don't know that.

I've never heard of CMT disease.

We just need to... Don't tell me what I need. I know what I need.

Get on my knees and pray to God, that's what... Just leave me, right?

Okay.

Just leave me!

No, Jim, believe it or not, I mean it.

If my ex -wife knew what Di knows, maybe I wouldn't have looked elsewhere.

Convincing yourself?

I'm not going to deny I've been confused.

You mean a bender.

Until I met Di, I thought only blokes understood.

I mean, don't get me wrong, I've always fancied the ladies, but I like it dirty.

You understand?

Girls do flowers and cuddles.

Yeah, I know what you mean. With some I -need -a -hug shit.

Spare me.

Hug this love.

You see, we're not so different, Jim.

Yeah.

Except I'd rather chop it off than bend over.

Huh? You do have a way with words.

Ah!

Regards, sir.

Ooh!

Don't mind if I do, darling. Thank you very much.

What is this?

I thought we'd have a bit of fun.

Hmm. Aaron.

Sorry. You must have said any time, didn't it?

I didn't think you'd come right over.

I'm not saying this is a good idea, but... You can't help yourself?

Let's just say you've got more going for you than my other offer.

Lying dancing on a screw's head night?

Is she good?

Or is she good?

Encore, encore.

Thank you.

Hey, hey. Whoa, whoa, whoa, come on.

Don't break up the party yet, love. Come on, that's got to be worth the drink at

least, doesn't it?

Here we go.

This one is on us.

like her, do you, Jim?

Are you trying to make me late?

No, I'm sorry.

You'll have to sack yourself.

I do have superiors, you know.

All watching me for a slip -up.

So I'd rather not hand them one.

On a plate.

I'll pick you up for lunch, Charlotte.

No.

Not at work.

Come on, darling.

I've cleared it with a number one. What's the hassle?

Please, Richie, I just don't want the gossip.

That's why you told my mother, is it?

Yvonne won't say anything.

She's mortified.

Besides... I'm glad I told her.

I knew she'd warn you off.

But you still called, didn't you?

At least I know I'm not just a one -night stand.

Oh, no way.

Jesus.

It's me who's worried.

You just seem to know exactly what you want.

It is such a turn -off.

Yeah, well, I want to keep my private life separate.

Don't give a shit who knows about it.

Please.

I've been burnt before.

If you want this to go ahead, then you're going to have to do things my

If that's what it takes, gorgeous.

So long as you want to see me again.

I do believe I might.

That pub we went to the first night, 1 .30?

I'll be there at 12.

Okay, Buki Lester's cut up again.

Badly this time. I want to put on Suicide Watch.

If she's so keen to end it all, why does she keep missing that Maynard trip?

It's attention -seeking, plain and simple.

Shut up, Sylvia.

OK.

On a lighter note, Julie, Jonathan and O 'Kane have resumed wing -cleaning

duties. So at least there'll be fewer complaints at meal times.

Sorry to interrupt.

Thought I'd pass on some good news.

Area management will be joining us for lunch on the open day. They're delighted

with our initiative.

So it's all hands on deck, boys and girls, if we're going to keep those

privatising sharks at bay.

That's great.

Neil, while you're here.

Can I run something past you?

Denny Blood's request for an interprit and visit with Shaz Wiley.

Oh, for goodness sake!

You can't treat a couple of lesbians like a married couple!

I've liaised with the governor of Bridgeway. We have some transfers coming

the 15th. It'd be cost -efficient if she came in on the same transport.

What do you think?

Fine by me.

I'm keen to implement equal opportunities all round, irrespective of

Absolutely. Thanks, Neil.

Right, I think that's all for now.

I'll catch you later. OK.

Neil.

Morning, Jim.

How's it hanging?

I, er... I don't really remember getting home last night.

But I do know I'd had a skinful.

We did enough to put it away, didn't we?

Well, it was my stag night.

Morning.

I, er... I really don't know what came over me.

Don't worry, your secret's safe with me.

We must do it again sometime.

Over my dead body, mate. Why not?

No point saving yourself for Karen anymore.

Not now she's found herself a younger man.

Oh, you hadn't heard.

Fifty grand cash.

And I've got bets on her knees again.

You would be jealous.

I'm all yours, babes.

You got the shooter?

No, I'm all right.

It's down to you now, babes.

Can you get Fen at a bite?

Look at all the love you gave Baxter.

And he was really ill.

But you were there for him.

And you weren't even his mum.

Think what you can do for little Lennox, eh?

How are you feeling, Bookie?

Like I'm going to go to hell.

We found a little boy on the internet.

He's got problems.

And Bookie thinks it's her fault.

It's got to be.

It says it's hereditary, love.

I keep telling her.

Now listen to me, Bookie.

Do you know what congenital means?

It means it's passed through the genes.

From parent to child.

From a distant ancestor sometimes.

It is nobody's fault.

I dumped him and it was filthy.

I used to be a nurse, Buki. I know what I'm talking about.

You cannot get CMT disease from a toilet floor.

So, you can stop blaming yourself.

Like you do with everything else that goes wrong in your life.

Mr Fennell, how do I make a request to get a new pair of shoes?

What? I just thought you should know.

Maybe I did get it wrong about Miss Betts.

I told you.

But whether she's gone bad, or she's just being you, she's playing hide -and

-seek with Richie Atkins.

What, Atkins' son?

Don't make me laugh.

Check it out, then.

That's the time he was in, visiting his mother.

Might not have passed her anything.

But one of the yard girls saw him outside with Bette.

Winston's mother, but his real name is Lennox, which is what I called him when

he was born in the toilet.

Maybe I shouldn't say about the box.

No, no, it's good.

Proves you are who you say you are. You're ill, Bookie.

For real.

I know I done wrong to leave him, but I was a junkie then.

And now I've ended up inside.

But prison has changed me into a clean living Christian girl.

I want so much to meet up with my son.

as I love him very much.

Could you sort it with my probation, please?

I am very grateful. Yours truly, Bucky Lester.

You go and post it off right now.

I feel so different about things now, Cass.

I'd really have a chance of changing things in here.

Yeah, me too.

Did you get it?

Piece of purse.

I owe you.

Go on.

I'll catch you up.

You've got it.

Yes, sir.

I'll bang her up.