Original subtitles

How do I look?

Hey, you look a lot better than Bonzo Moretti. Who's Bonzo Moretti?

Bonzo Moretti is the guy that we took that coat and tie from.

His coat, his tie, and one of his socks, too.

This job's getting to me, Julie.

Oh, what's the matter, Mr. Woodman?

I swear I just saw Juan Epstein wearing a coat and tie.

Either that or Bonzo Moretti's hair exploded.

That was a tie.

I thought his tongue was hanging out.

Juan's going on a job interview.

What's he going to be, a yo -yo tester?

Why do you need one?

I'll believe Epstein gets a job when I see the Statue of Liberty skinny

Come on, Mr. Woodman. It's almost practically a sure thing.

Come on, what kind of dumb, dumb nitwit would guarantee him a job?

Your niece, Kelly.

Welcome back.

Your dreams were your ticket out.

Welcome back.

To that same old place that you laughed about.

Well, the names have all changed since you hung around.

But those dreams have remained and they've turned around.

Who'd have thought they'd need ya?

Who'd have thought they'd need ya? Back here where we need ya. Back here where

we need ya. Yeah, we pleased him a lot, but we got him on the spot.

Welcome back.

Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back.

Welcome back, welcome back. Yeah, we tease him a lot because we got him on

spot. Welcome back.

Welcome back, welcome back.

Yeah? My boots.

Yeah, otherwise known as the Brooklyn home for wayward thighs.

Samson Malone? It's Freddie Washington. Freddie Samson runs this joint. Hey,

man, what's happening, man?

It's nice to meet you, right? Hey, look at the reach on him. What is it, 76, 78

inches? Huh? Yeah. How much do you weigh, 166, 167?

Yeah, about that much, yeah. Yeah, well, shave a few pounds and you make a heck

of a middleweight.

Yeah? Is that true? Tess says he's a lightweight.

Ah, get out of here.

Hey, um, Alcantara, Esten was telling me you used to be a boxer?

Ah, yeah. Before I retired, I had 32 great fights. Ooh, ain't nothing wrong

that. Out of 168?

Come on, come on. I'm only kidding you. I'm only kidding you. You're all right,

kid.

Thank you.

Well, back to the war on cellulite. I'll see you guys later.

Listen, Juan, I'm on my break now. Why don't we go call that store and talk to

the owner about your job? Sure.

Fetty, I'm ready to step up to the working class. Get down.

Hey, Juan, I hope you enjoyed your trip.

I'll see you next fall.

Go ahead. You first, lady. Go ahead.

You think I need it more than you do, huh?

Oh, no, I think you're in a terrific shape for a young lady.

Repeat up, old bag.

Why do you say that, man? Why are you putting words in my mouth? Well,

has to. You're not doing a very good job of it.

Wait a minute, man. You better back off. You don't know me that good.

Now, don't you tell me what to do, or I'll take you in the ring, and I'll

flatten you.

them every single day of life, you ain't gonna never be able to beat Freddie

Washington. And you know why?

Because I got moves that are smooth.

You know, I mean, my hands, they fast as lightning. My feet never touch the

ground. You know what I'm talking about? Because I float like a butterfly.

And I sting like a mattress.

And when you bend over to climb into the ring, I'll cold cock you with this.

Hey, lady, you're all right. You're cool.

You're not so bad yourself.

I'm Mrs. Gladstone Trevor Smythe.

Oh, yeah. My name is Freddy Boom Boom Washington.

Every day I be going boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Every day, boom, boom. Are

you from around here, Freddy?

Oh, yeah. I lived in Brooklyn all my life.

But things are bound to get better.

That's the spirit.

Go in there and give them what you got. All right.

You know, when my husband Gladstone died, everybody thought that was the end

me, too.

You know, I bet they didn't say that to your face, because I know you to

fracture their nose.

That's for sure. Get down.

No, it's just that I've been married for so long, no one thought I could get

along on my own.

But I showed them. All right. I jog a mile every day. I work out here.

And I got the snazziest little antique shop in Brooklyn.

These and those antiques.

Oh, I know that place. Them and those antiques? I know that place, man.

That's all.

movies candy store, right? Right.

Have you ever been in there?

Oh, no. We got enough antiques at home at my house. All the furniture is early

repossessed.

You know, I could use a nice young man like you in the shop.

Can you work after school?

You driving? You gonna give me a job?

Yeah. An antique business?

That's incredible, boy.

It'd have a sure enough make my mama feel good.

Does your mother admire fine antiques? No, she just admires the ink on a weekly

paycheck.

Then it's all settled.

You can start tomorrow. All right.

These and those antiques. Those and those. Right next to the candy store.

and those antiques I lose.

Got a gift.

Hey, Juan, Juan, Juan. What happened, man? What happened with your job? The

wasn't there when we called, but I'm going to stop by his shop tomorrow

Kelly said the job is in the bag. All right. Check this part out. What's that?

I got a job, too.

I start tomorrow.

Kelly, I don't believe it. We're going to be rich. We're going to be rolling in

the dough. Yeah. And we're going to be up to our armpits in moolah.

Celebrate, man. Let's buy a pizza or something.

With what?

Maybe we should have took bombs in Moretti's wallet, too.

Freddy, can you help me over here a minute?

Oh, sure enough, in a minute, Mr. Trevor Smythe. I just got to finish unpacking

these plaster dolls.

My dear boy, those are worth over $500.

$500?

You sure they're legal?

They're 19th century porcelain figurines. Wow, 19th century.

Man, new ones must cost a fortune.

Let me take care of that. You go into the storeroom and get the pachyderm ped

umbrella stand.

Pachyderm. All right.

Aye, aye, Captain.

Good morning, young man. May I help you?

In more ways than you know. I'm here for my job interview.

But before you say a word, let me just say you're in good hands with Epstein.

Job interview?

You must be Kelly's friend. Yeah, I'm the very one.

Oh, she said what a fine young man you are, and it's so good of you to come

down, but I'm sorry the position has been filled.

Filled with what?

nice young man I hired just yesterday.

Hey, boss. What do you want this elephant thing?

Hey, your wine. What's happening? What's happening? All right. How you feeling?

Well, good. You know each other. Then you'll excuse me. I have to sort out my

spittoons.

What's happening, man? Who's hanging out at the park, man?

Betty, what are you doing here?

What do you mean what I'm doing here? It's a new job I told you I started. I

started... Your job?

Yeah. This is the job that Kelly set up for me.

What are you talking...

Wait a minute. I didn't know this was the job that you was coming for. Come

come on. Don't hand me that, Freddie.

It's okay. You got the job.

Looks like you're happy.

See you later, Freddie. Wait a minute, Juan. Hold up, man. Wait a minute, man.

don't even know what you're talking about. What's happening, man? I'll tell

what I'm talking about, Freddie. You can take this job, and you can take our

friendship, and you can jam it.

Right in that umbrella stand.

Hey, yo, Mr.

Cocktail, what's up?

Hey, Freddie.

Well, how do you like being a working man, huh?

Oh, it's cool, man. You know, I'm learning a lot.

You know, I'm glad to see you working in a place like this.

Gives you a little culture.

You don't believe this, but there's a lot of people out there that don't know

the difference between antiques and junk.

You know, I know that, Mr. Cocktail, but do you know the difference between

antiques and junk?

What? Well, it's about $200.

You dealing old jokes here, too?

Yeah, you want me to come by your house and pick up all of yours?

Listen,

Freddy, I saw Juan last night.

What happened between you guys?

I don't know, Mr. Cartier. I don't know what's wrong with that guy.

He's just blabbing off at me. He's mad at me. He keeps saying that I aced him

out of this gig here.

Did you?

No, Mr. Cartier. I would never do something like that to Juan.

I don't know, Freddy. You've done worse things.

How about the time you glued all the pages in his history book together?

He didn't get mad at that.

Yeah, well, he would have if he ever found out about it.

Hey, Mr. Cartier.

I would never take a guy's gig, man. I couldn't do that.

Especially to Juan, man. I mean, there's a lady who owns this place. Her name is

Miss Trevor Smyke. She hired me for the job before I even knew that it was

Juan's job.

Well, why don't you explain that to him? I tried explaining it to him, Mr.

Carter. He won't listen to me. He's just too hard -headed.

I even tried to get Miss Trevor's mate to fire me and to hire Juan.

You know, she told me, man, she said, she said, I don't want to have any part

it. You're the guy I want for the job.

Freddy, look, you know, try talking to Juan again, all right? Maybe he's cooled

down. You guys have come too far to let something like this make enemies.

Look, I'll try, Mr. Carter, all right?

Samson, I want you to show me how I can cream this guy.

Hey, take it easy, kid.

Back off into a neutral corner for a minute.

Freddy's got six inches taller than you.

Come on, come on. Why in Epstein don't know the meaning of the word tall?

Well, I'll explain it to you.

Tall means he'll break your face.

There's more to life than just a pretty face.

Come on, Samson. I want you to show me the old one, too, huh? All right, come

over here.

Now, there's two things you gotta remember.

One, Keep your face covered, and two, keep moving.

Now, let me see your fighting stance.

Ah, come here, kid.

Pretty good, huh?

One other little thing.

When he knocks your teeth out, don't swallow them.

Oh, Shannon Dollar.

don't we use the good jelly glasses?

Oh, that's right. It's yogi beer for every day and the Flintstones for

You know, Mary, even though we've been married for such a very short period of

time, already I feel a certain responsibility and maturity that I never

before. Oh, Mary, be sure that I get to sit here so that I can have the bam -bam

glass.

I'm so happy being married to you.

And we're a lot luckier than most couples. By working here for my uncle,

to see each other all day.

Oh, yeah.

It's a great job.

Especially the fringe benefits.

Arnold, you have that same look in your eye that you had this morning at the

Mimeo machine.

Care for a duplication?

Greetings,

honeymooners.

This is my contribution to tonight's feast.

Got some hush puppies, some catfish, and last but not least...

Shoo fly pie.

Can I have the Bam Bam glass?

No!

All right.

Look, so when are Juan and Freddy due to arrive?

Uh, got about five peaceful minutes.

Well, you know, after a little run -in over the job, I'm surprised they're

coming to dinner together.

Yeah.

They're gonna be surprised, too.

You see, neither one of them knows that the other one doesn't know that the

other one is coming.

Well said, Arnold.

We need men like you in Washington.

You see, I feel that if we can get those two crazy kids together and act like

two civilized human beings in this room, well then, Brooklyn will once again be

safe for truth, justice, and the American way.

Arnold, you're the only guy I know that took notes during Superman.

Oh,

don't get up. I'll get it.

Hey,

what's going on, Bo?

Hey, Mary.

I brought you all a housewarming gift. Check it out. Oh, what is it?

It's an old incense burner. Oh, that's very nice.

Thank you, Freddie.

Thank you, Freddie. That's very nice. Look.

Bo brought us some shoofly pie.

and let's see what happens.

Now, listen, you eat shoofly pie.

Your mommy eats shoofly pie.

Hey, can I, um, sip on one of those band -aid glasses?

No!

Hi, Ray. Hi, guys. Hey, Kelly.

Kelly, um, where's Mom?

He's still trying to find you a nice housewarming gift. Now?

The stores are all closed.

Oh, he's not gonna buy anything.

He's just trying to find something.

Here's a little something I brought you from the west side.

Way over on the west side.

Hey, Juan.

Hi.

Two of your guests are leaving, Arnold.

Oh, no. Hey, come on, Juan. Hold up. Wait. Hey, man.

I mean, as long as we're here, you know, at least let's talk about this thing,

man. Yeah, that's the idea. We're all adults here. Now, you two can settle

little differences. Sure, sure. Like the fact that I'm trustworthy and honest

and he's a two -faced sneak, right?

Hey, Juan, look, man. If you want the job that bad, you can have it, man. Come

on. I don't want your job. I don't want anything from a backstabber. You better

watch your mouth, you little unemployed shithead. Come on, Freddy.

Now, you guys are acting like children. Come on. Yeah, well, he had a lot of

practice.

Right, right. Okay, look. Why don't you two just put the gloves on and get it

over with?

Oh, that sounds great. That sounds great to me.

If Freddy's got the guts.

Okay, I said come on, son. Put your hands up.

Don't worry, Mary. We have to redecorate the place anyway.

Now they're all going to be decorators, Washington State.

You guys do it!

I'm not going to let you make a shambles out of my wives and my apartment.

If you two insist on acting like morons, at least go down to the spa, put the

boxing gloves on, and act like grown -up morons.

That's fine with me.

Yeah, that's fine with me too, man. Freddie. Hey, I'm cool. Don't worry.

Freddie. Hey, I'm cool.

Freddie. What's the idea?

You know what I'm going to do for you, man? What are you going to do for me?

going to show you what a train wreck feels like up close. Oh, yeah?

Well, let's go.

Let's go.

Well,

that leaves more shoofly pie for us.

Idiot to idiot.

Come on, Freddie, let's go.

Honey, I'm ready for you.

I want to

dent my hands on your face.

What if somebody used a boxing glove, huh?

Yeah, get your security measures. Go ahead.

I'm feeling good.

Here you go, Freddie. Here you go. I'm ready for you.

Freddie, you're ready.

Hey, hey, hey, hey. Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

What's the idea?

I thought this was going to be an equal opportunity fight.

All right, there you go. We'll go halfies then, huh? All right, that's

Wait a minute.

What am I supposed to do with two right hands?

Come on, come on. I don't need these two boxing gloves.

Let's go. Come on, let's go. Come on. There. Come on. There.

Come on. There. Come on. There. Come on.

I'll pull it.

You want to go up against a guy who could press 200 pounds?

You can press 200 pounds?

You take a look over here, Fin.

Hey!

Hey,

Juan. You all right?

You all right, Juan? Take it easy. Don't let me hurt you.

Ready?

You're just testing your reflexes, that's all. Ah, yes, please.

I just want you to know that my reflexes is ready and steady and hot. Check it

out.

You know, it's an old training trick.

You know, it builds up strength in your arms and legs. Yeah, sure, sure.

You're going to need a lot of strength in your arms and legs to avoid these

fists of fire.

in my boxing history, two fighters that knock each other out without throwing a

punch.

Come on, let's go.

I didn't want to hit you, Freddy, you know what I mean? I'm glad.

Because almost fighting you almost killed me.

You know something?

About that job, I'm really sorry about the big stink I made about it, really.

It's your job. You earned it. You keep it, huh?

Oh, why, man?

You know, I always knew that our friendship was...

A lot bigger than any job.

Friends. Friends.

To the end, right?

Yeah, yeah.

Pardon me, gentlemen.

You guys want to dance? I'll put on some music and turn down the lights.

Don't worry, kid. You will play the violin again.

Sure, sure.

Yeah. What else?

Will I ever be able to dance Swan Lake?

You're a crazy kid.

Listen. I've been in fights with a referee that hurt worse than you guys.

Yeah, I ain't never been in no fight like this.

Every place only hurts except for my face.

Have a good hot shower and you'll both be as good as new. Yeah.

Listen, kid.

The other day I saw that you had spunk.

And today I saw that you also had common sense.

I could use a kid like you around here.

Can't he give me a job?

When do I start?

As soon as the swelling goes down.

Welcome back.

Your dreams were your ticket out.

Welcome back to that same old place that you laughed about.

Well, the names have all changed since you hung around.

But those dreams have remained and they've turned around.

Who'd have thought they'd lead ya? Who'd have thought they'd lead ya? Back here

where we need ya. Back here.

Well, we need you.

Yeah, we tease him a lot because we got him on the spot. Welcome back.

Welcome back. Welcome back. Welcome back.

Welcome back. Welcome back. Welcome back.

We're all in good spot of friends.

Welcome back.

And I smile when I think I must have been.

And I know what a scene you were learning in.

Was there something that made you come back again?

Then what could ever lead ya? What could ever lead ya? Back there where we need

ya. Back there where we need ya. Yeah, we tease him a lot, cause we got him on

the spot. Welcome back.