Original subtitles

Oh, Vinnie.

Vinnie, you better get the door.

Oh, yeah, the door.

Look, you stay here and you cover up the rips on my couch.

Oh, hi, Juan. Good night.

Vinnie, who is he? Don't make him stand in the doorway.

Yeah, of course not.

Go stand down in the street.

Now, look, I hate that... bother you like this, Vinnie, but it is a matter of

life and death.

Excuse me.

I'll bring him right back.

Vinnie, do you remember when we was kids and you was trapped underneath your

bicycle and I pulled you out?

No.

Okay, forget that one.

Do you remember that gangland murder that we saw with Pasquale's, huh?

32 bullet holes.

And we thought the blood was spaghetti sauce.

I held up the cops and let you run away.

Why?

Because we like you.

Because you're my friend.

You're my buddy. Yeah, well, I don't need a buddy now. I need her.

Hey, look.

Vinny, I'm calling in all my favors right now. The way I figured, you owe me

big one.

Okay, okay, fine. Just make it quick.

I'm talking marriage, Vinny.

Look, Juan, I think you're very cute, but you're too old for me.

Me? My cousin Angelina. Oh, come on now. You're getting a little crazy with your

favors now here. All right, all right. I didn't want to have to do this, but I

guess I'm going to have to call in the big favor.

Remember last year?

The Giovanni twins?

Don't bring that up.

That's right. We couldn't split them up. You wanted to be alone with Josephine,

so who took the other one off your hands?

All right, all right. You did.

That's right. I did.

You got a chance to go up to the balcony and make out with Josefina.

I got a chance to go to the docks and shoot rats with Dominic.

Okay, I owe you a twin, but I don't owe you a life. I ain't marrying nobody.

Come on, Diggie, look.

Relax. It's all going to be over within three days.

You see, Angelina's from Guatemala.

She gets a citizenship.

You get a divorce.

Bing, bang, bomb.

The favor's completed. What do you say?

Why don't you get horse shack?

Come on, guys. She's scared enough as it is, huh?

Now, look, Vinnie, this ain't just for me. It's for my poor Uncle Sanchez,

He said he'd die a happy man if only his daughter Angelina would become an

American citizen.

Vinnie, he's 96 years old.

I mean, don't you want to see the guy die with a smile on his face?

He must be crazy.

All right, Vinnie, you wait right over here. I'll bring her right up.

What? She's here?

Epstein delivers, guy. Now, go on.

Get me the salad. How?

I don't know. I can't do everything.

I've got to take care of the marriage ceremony. I've got to take care of the

reception.

Look, doll baby, I've got to ask you to leave. I've got to do a favor for a

friend. You understand.

Okay. You understand, don't you? Yeah, well, I'll see you tomorrow, huh? Okay,

I'll call you later.

Okay, soon?

Yeah, as soon as I get the divorce.

What?

I'm going to see a man about a horse.

meet your new bride.

Buenas noches.

Buenas tacos.

Does she speak English?

Not a blessed word.

She's only been here one day. Hasn't left that box since she got here.

Welcome back.

Your dreams were your ticket out.

Welcome back to that same old place that you laughed about.

Well, the names have all changed since you hung around.

But those dreams have remained and they've turned around.

Who'd have thought they'd need ya? Who'd have thought they'd need ya? Back here

where we need ya. Back here.

Welcome back.

Welcome back.

Welcome back.

Welcome back. Welcome back. Yeah, we tease him a lot because we got him on

spot. Welcome back.

the place for you. School's the last place I figured you'd be.

Yeah, well, look, I couldn't sleep last night.

I kept on dreaming about Angelina. Well, beauty does run in the Epstein family.

Yeah, well, it's running downhill. I woke up screaming.

I can't marry your cousin, one. You know what she did to me last night?

She took the pretzels and she licked the salt off the pretzels and put them back

in a bag.

Look, guy, you ain't backing out now. We made a deal.

And with us, a deal's a deal.

Besides, I already got the wedding ring right over here.

Take a look.

Ooh, that's nice, a girl scout ring.

Yeah, yeah, she thinks you're rich, you know?

Working in a hospital, doctors, money, all that.

Yeah, no wonder she asked me if I could get a teeth done at cost.

Hey, look, I, Angelina, just needs a little bridge work, you know?

They just got jarred loose in the truck on the way up here.

Now, look.

I've been thinking about the wedding, and how about Freddie Washington is the

best man?

Come on.

Nobody's got to know about this. It's not a little secret.

Not even the guys?

Especially not even the guys.

Oh, here they come. Shh, shh, shh. I know. I can't believe she said that.

Morning, Juan. Morning, Freddie. Good morning,

fellas.

Well, I guess it's time for me to get these books down to the library.

What for?

The place is full of them.

are ten weeks overdue.

Perhaps I should learn how to read faster.

Once.

Yeah, Vinnie seems to trap a bit nervous today. Come on, guy. He ain't nervous.

He's as steady as I am.

Hey, you dropped your ring.

Come on, come on. Give me that. Hey.

Nice merchandise.

Check it out.

Oh.

My sister gets a ring just like this.

if she graduates from the Brownies.

Pardon me, uh, Horschak. Will you excuse me, please?

Hey, uh, Juan, Juan, Juan, uh, you got something going with a Girl Scout?

It ain't mine, it's Vinnie Barbarino's. Vinnie and the Girl Scout?

And he don't even like cookies.

First it's nurses, and now it's Girl Scouts. Now he's turning into a regular

uniform freak.

Yeah, man, pretty soon. Me and the maids won't be safe on the street.

Come on, come on, knock it off. This is Vinny's wedding ring. You ain't going to

go to the wedding because Vinny didn't want you to go anyway.

to say those wedding bells are breaking up that old gang of mine?

Guys, don't say anything to Vinny, okay?

Because he's going to deny it. Just don't say anything that I told you.

Little Juan, my lips are sealed.

What's the big secret anyway?

Look, Vinny's been going out with Sally for a long time.

Oh, no, no, no. It ain't Sally. It's this girl from out of town.

Way out of town.

Like an out -of -town manicurist.

In town on a cuticle convention.

What are you, some kind of joker?

Let me tell you, son of a horse, Jack, if word gets out around school that

Vinnie's marrying a manicurist, I'm going to shove your cuticles all the way

to your armpits. And that goes for every one of you.

And he's just the guy to do it, too.

Sit down, Barbarino.

Sit down, Vinnie.

What's all this about you getting married?

What? Sit down, Vinnie. It's all over school.

You're kidding.

I'm going to kill Epstein. Sit down. Sit down.

I don't approve of high school marriages. They all end up in the sewer.

That's right, Vinnie. Both parties get hurt, especially the girl.

Nobody ever cuts in on her at the school dance.

Not easy on the boy either.

He has to dance all night with his wife.

But, uh, on second thought, I think he should get married. What?

You heard me, Julie.

Barbarino's an exception to the rule. He's played the field long enough. He's

had enough fun.

Let him get married.

He's a baby. He could be ruining his whole life.

So? He's dated every girl in Brooklyn?

He's been behind more billboards than a motorcycle car.

It's time he settled down. I am telling you that he is too young to get married.

He lives on stale pizza. He doesn't have two socks that match.

He is not ready.

I'm telling you, he is.

He isn't. He is.

He isn't. He is. I'm so confused.

Look, why don't you take Miss Universe home so I can save some rupee?

Vinnie, come on. We've got to make the final arrangements for the wedding here.

Yeah, well, you tell her I ain't renting her tuxedo. I'm wearing a red T -shirt.

All right.

Yeah,

yeah, Roja.

Look, what about the reception?

No, no, no reception.

Vinnie, guy, come over here.

Come over here and sit down right over here.

Now, you look into my cousin Angelina's eyes and you tell her no reception.

No reception.

Come on, come on, come on.

All right, all right, we'll get some cheap sangria, some bean dip, no

Uh, back on par, uh, sangria y, uh, bean dip, pero no

guacamole.

Hey, go easy on me here. I'm just interpolating here.

Sure,

sure.

She says she wants a wedding like her sister's.

22 hot dishes, no substitutes. She's getting bean dip.

She wants you to use the bean dip money to hire a band. A band? That's right, a

band. Forget it. The wedding's off.

No

orquesta?

No.

All right, Vinny, here's the bottom line.

Nine hot dishes and one marimba player.

Now, where am I going to get a marimba player?

Oh, it's okay, it's okay. Angelina met one of my apos... Come on, Vinny, open

up. Yeah, let's get this bachelor party happening.

Just a minute, guys. I got to put something away.

Come on with me, Angelina. Come on, we'll go get some root beer and pretzels

everything else.

Now lock in here and keep a face out of my refrigerator.

Come on, guys.

Hey, guys.

Hey, how you doing? Hey, Vinnie, how you doing? Hey, Vinnie, man, we thought

we'd start the night off with a little bit of light poker, you know?

The winner gets to...

kiss the bride.

I wanted to get a girl to come out of a cake.

I couldn't even get a girl to come out of a house.

Oh.

No salt.

You're gonna break a lot of hearts, Vinnie.

Especially Dolores.

She just had your name tattooed on her chest.

Yeah, right under the aircraft carrier.

I'm really getting tired. You know, I've got a big wedding day tomorrow, and I

really think it's time for you guys to scat.

Saving up the old strength for tomorrow night, huh?

Yeah, but tonight we're going to drink, eat, and get crazy.

Freddy, don't. Don't go in there. Don't go in there. There ain't nothing in

there. There's no root beer. There's no food for you or nothing.

So we'll do something wild with COVID.

No, don't.

Denny.

I'm very proud of you. But will you do me one little favor?

Would you name your first one Little Arnold?

Oh, come off it. I ain't having no babies with her.

That's very wise, Vincent.

Get that high school diploma first.

I told you not to go in there.

I wish I'd listened.

Hey, um...

Your bride -to -be?

It's a lot of women.

Hey, come on. Get that little filly out here, Vinnie. Oh, no, come on. You're

going to see the little filly tomorrow.

Right after she finishes a bucket of cool whip.

What? Get her out of my fridge.

Come on, Freddy.

Fill the jalapenos.

What's she really like?

Well, let's just say...

She goes well with the apartment.

Guys, I want you to meet my cousin Angelina.

Angelina, mis amigos.

Hola.

Santa. Come on, I'll explain it all.

Go on.

All right, all right. Guys, pull up a sofa.

The facts of this case are thus.

She's illegal.

He ain't.

She needs a husband.

He owes me a favor.

She gets a citizenship.

He gets a divorce.

She goes to confession.

Case dismissed.

Isn't that illegal?

Hey, guy, who's ever going to know?

You know, I think it's beautiful that she wants to become a citizen.

Hey, you know, me too.

Hey, congratulations, Angelina. I think that's pretty hip what you're doing.

You know, you're getting hooked up to a real good guy.

El Vinny hombre muy bueno.

Vinny bueno?

Hmm.

Yo quisiera que Vinny fuera más chaparro, más gordito, con

bigote, y que tocara la guitarra.

What's she saying? She always keeps saying that.

It's some silly little fantasy she happens to have.

She says she wishes you were shorter.

Chubby, I had a mustache and played guitar.

Let's roll it away in.

Hey, guy, can she help it if she has a thing for Freddy Fender?

Freddy Fender, sí.

Ay, mi amor, mi príncipe azul.

All right, well, FC said that Angelina wouldn't even do this.

until the marimba player came. Well, I have nothing against marimba players, of

course, but I do have another wedding to go to at 7 .30.

I'm sure to be here in a minute.

Oh, there he is. Oh,

Sally, am I glad to see you.

Do you got an extra marimba player on you?

No, but Juan told me everything, and I think what you're doing is very noble.

Ain't it wild?

Look, I even got a Girl Scout ring, too.

Yeah, look at this. I put a prescription on it.

It says, Torres de Barcelona.

That's so romantic.

Yeah, ain't it? I got off one of them bullfight posters.

Excuse me.

Really,

really, we must get started.

Yes, I know.

Look, you just keep an eye on Sally because I got a date with her after the

wedding. I'll get it. I'll get it.

No!

Nothing. She just wants to wait out in the hall for the Mumba player.

Is that

the bride?

I would think so.

What a beautiful dress.

with them, so let's get this thing rolling, huh? All right, everyone.

Friends of the room on this side, please. Yeah, all right.

Okay, all right.

Gee, just look at this place. It looks so festive, you know?

Too bad they don't have a wedding photographer.

You know, obviously, Vinnie don't want no evidence.

But, uh... All right, Mr. Music, if you please.

side of the family here.

All right, try this one.

Beautiful.

Everybody, may I present Angelina Maria Conchete.

We don't have time for a whole name. He's got a wedding at 7 .30.

Dearly beloved.

Dearly beloved.

We are gathered here today to join in holy matrimony.

Now she tells me. Will you tell her to shut up and get back to the wedding?

Vinnie, it doesn't look like she's going to be your old lady. It doesn't look

like she wants to be.

What, you mean she's not happy still?

Look, you got your wedding, you got your reception, you got your ring, you even

got your marimba player. Vinnie, look, that's the problem. She's in love with

Roberta, the marimba player.

Says he looks like Freddy Fender.

Hey, Vinnie, you've been dumped.

Hey, gang, what say we save all of the rice and eat it for dinner?

I don't understand this. What are you guys talking about?

Vinnie, listen to me.

Don't you understand Spanish?

She ain't in love with you.

She don't want to marry you.

She's in love with Roberto the marimba player.

Not you, him.

Yeah, you too.

Well,

Vinnie, how did Field almost get married?

It's so bad, I imagine.

I might get married one day.

If I can find a Lady Marimba player.

With a mustache.

Well, you two can joke, but I know how it feels to be left at the altar.

You can.

That's right.

I was only 19.

She was 22, a barnstorming aviatrix.

Finished third in the powder puff derby.

Loved to watch her pour it on in the turns.

We were to be married in midair, but it never happened.

What went wrong?

Well, one day they found her goggles, her leather

jacket, and her white scarf scattered in a cornfield.

Ran off with a field hand.

I'll never go near Iowa again.

Welcome back.

Your dreams were your ticket out.

Welcome back to that same old place that you laughed about.

Well, the names have all changed since you hung around.

But those dreams have remained and they've turned around.

Who'd have thought they'd lead ya? Who'd have thought they'd lead ya? Yeah,

well, we need ya.

We tease him a lot because we got him on the spot.

Welcome back.

Welcome back. Welcome back. Welcome back.

Welcome back. Welcome back. Welcome back.

We all went goodbye, friend.

Welcome back.

And I smile when I think how it must have been.

And I know what it seems.

you were learning in?

Was there something that made you come back again?

And what could ever lead you?

What could ever lead you?

Back here where we need you.