Original subtitles

Mr. Woodman, how you doing?

Oh, good. I see your usual cheerful self.

Mr. Woodman, have you ever seen my uncle Bartholomew?

No. Oh, he was one of the wealthiest men in the world, Bartholomew Carter.

And his daughter was getting married, and he decided that he wanted to have a

very unusual wedding.

So he decided he was going to have the wedding in the middle of Kenya, the

deepest, darkest jungle in Africa.

He flew 400 people, went to the 747, flew 400 people over to Africa, built

hotel, the Kenya Kata, put his guests up there. The day of the wedding,

everybody got out, 400 people, 400 guys, walked two hours into the jungle, just

about to reach the site where he was about to have the wedding, the most

wedding in history. And the guy said, must stop here.

My uncle said, what are we waiting for?

Two weddings in front of us.

Welcome back.

Your dreams were your ticket out.

Welcome back to that same old place that you laughed about.

Well, the names have all changed since you hung around.

But those dreams have remained and they've turned around.

Who'd have thought they'd lead ya? Who'd have thought they'd lead ya? Back here

where we need ya.

We need you. We tease him a lot. Because we got him on the spot.

Welcome back.

Welcome back. Welcome back. Welcome back.

All right, all right. Now, what we're going to do is we're going to meet over

Freddy's house at 730. Yeah, that's nice.

Okay, if my mother asks where I'm going, what do I say?

Well, I just tell her the truth.

Tell her that you're going to see some go -go girls down at the Tosso Trap.

Oh, yeah, yeah. And when she comes out of the coma, tell her you was only

kidding.

Now, look, all you got to do is tell her you're going to Manhattan to see a

movie that ain't come to Brooklyn yet.

Oh, uh, The Sound of Music.

Not quite.

Get a load of this here, what we got here.

What we got for you, Arnold Horschak, is Lila Lust.

Peachy Tree.

We got Bubbles Baranski.

We got Kitty Litter.

Those don't sound like movies to me.

Of course, they ain't movies, Arnold. They're dances. Didn't you get a load of

their names? Here, check it out. Oh, yeah. Come on, check it out, Arnold.

Go ahead, Arnold. You can touch it. Just don't bite. Come on, touch it.

All right, now check it out. Listen to this.

A bombastic review of tintillating Titanic.

Oh, yeah. It's right here. It says, 20 exotic dancers with only 19 costumes.

Hey, I don't think I'm old enough to see this.

Well, that's what I thought. That's why I bought these IDs here.

Here you are.

This is you.

Raoul Epstein?

Just think rice, beans, and matzo balls, okay?

Okay, now, you're Sanchez Epstein.

Oh, wow, Sanchez Epstein.

I better check out my Spanish. All right, go ahead.

Bueno,

very, very bueno, Freddy, very bueno.

All right, now, you're Sidney Epstein.

How come I always got to be Sidney?

I hate being Sidney.

It sounds like some guy with no hair.

See you tomorrow, guys.

Hey, yo, Mr. Conner.

You, uh, doing anything tonight?

Tonight? Oh, yeah.

Hot night tonight. Tonight's the night Julie and I go to the laundrette.

What do you do tomorrow night? Go to Photomat to see what develops?

it really is exciting at the laundromat. You know what happens after 10?

They turn down the lights and the people touch each other's laundry.

Hey, Mr. Kyle, as long as you're going on a cheap date tonight, can I buy $10?

$10? Why?

Well, it's not for me. It's for Sidney.

She obviously works alone.

Is it over yet?

I mean, you ain't seen none of that yet.

I just came by to listen to the snappy music.

What's the matter with you? You crazy or something?

Well, what did I miss that was so great?

What'd you miss?

What'd the kid miss?

Let me show you what you missed.

What you missed was a little of this.

horse shack?

That's what I thought I missed.

Do some more, baby. Do some more. Hey, were you guys weirdos or what, huh?

And now, the torso trap takes you way out west.

Let's hear a big yahoo from Miss Honeypot.

What are you talking about? What are you talking about? Look at her outfit.

She's obviously from out of town.

Nah, man, I'm telling you, man, I've seen that chick before.

Really, check out her face, man.

You check out her face. I'm checking out the rest of her.

That's Hockey Topsy.

Where?

Right there.

She's obviously trying to wear it out from the inside.

Oh, no wonder she left Buchanan High School. To become a cowgirl.

Well, I bet you the student placement program didn't get her that job.

it's going to wind up in a joint like this.

Anybody show up in the audience that you didn't expect to see?

Yeah, my first husband.

What'd you do?

I sent him a drink.

Oh, that won't work.

These guys are in high school.

So send him a snow cone.

Look, when I went to school with these guys, they used to get their kicks by

telling people that I was fast and easy.

I wish I had friends like that.

But, Olga, it wasn't true.

Now they see me working in a dump like this, putting on a show for guys who

raincoats in nice weather.

You never can tell about the man behind the raincoat.

One guy told me he was a banker.

He said he wanted to put my picture on his scenic...

I just came back to apologize to you for the way that the guys acted before.

So, uh... I'm sorry, Rosalie.

Thanks for listening to me. Arnold, wait.

Wait. Come here. Come up here and sit with me.

Hey,

Rosalie. You was really terrific tonight. Really.

The... The music, the costume, the dancing, the

costume.

Hey, that's one terrific costume, Rosalie.

Arnold, you're embarrassed.

Well, I just didn't want you to think that I always come to places like this.

Arnold, you were worried about what I thought about you? I was worried what

guys thought of me.

Those guys know about interpretive dancing.

Especially Weston style.

Oh, Arnold, it's so good to see you again. Listen, do you still go ooh -ooh?

come on.

That's kid stuff.

So... Rosalie taught me in show business.

Hey, how did it happen? When was your big break?

Well... Listen, if I tell you, will you help me explain to the guys?

Well, can't you explain it to them yourself?

Well, it'll be easy to explain how I became a dancer.

The hard part is going to be explaining how I became a mother.

Yeah,

it was a good thing I got a next table, picked up our check.

Yeah, it was a good thing I put it on his table.

Listen,

you guys, Rosalie wants to talk to you.

Oh, is that Rosalie Todd? Yes, yes, it is.

I didn't recognize her with so many clothes on.

Yeah, um...

What you doing here, hotsy -totsy baby?

Came here to come do your act in the cafeteria?

Yeah, well, I hope all the flies are over 18.

Look,

if you guys are finished, I got something I'd like to explain.

Well, don't you need music for that, baby?

Will you guys at least give her a chance?

All right, then why don't you tell her some body language?

What do you guys know about making a living?

Yeah. Rosalie has a very good reason for taking that sleazy job. I'm sorry.

Look, Rosalie, there ain't no good reason for a sweat hog to take a job

that. Yeah, or any other kind of job for that matter.

Oh, yeah?

Well, what about a six -month -old baby?

Oh, come on. Why would a six -month -old baby want a job like that?

You dummy.

I'm a mother. I've got the baby.

You guys ready to listen?

When Rosalie here quit school two years ago, she thought that life was going to

be one big adventure.

All that she cared about were cheap thrills.

Rosalie, maybe you better tell the story.

Fly over, guys. Move over.

Well, the next thing I know, I was married to Harry and living above his

-night muffler shop.

Well, you know, I thought he was a nice guy.

Until the night he left.

I didn't even hear him. The creep, he must have got a new muffler.

So then, Rosalie had to come home and find a job.

Yeah, and do you know how many good jobs there are for 17 -year -old dropouts

like me? I had to take a job as a waitress in a pancake house.

Did you ever try scraping a tip off of a table soaked in blueberry syrup?

I know this chick, man, that works at one of them pie places. Oh, yeah. Yeah,

the house to crust.

Last week,

man, she came down with Dutch apple disease.

She was rotten to the core.

I don't know why I bothered coming here. You guys will never grow up.

We'll never grow up, never grow up, never grow up, not us.

Rosalie, wait a minute.

Rosalie.

Rosalie Totsie.

What are you doing here?

Wasting my time.

Rosalie, will you come on?

Who's that girl, Carter? I've seen her somewhere.

She used to go to school here. Don't you remember her?

All right, guys, come on. What happened?

It's Horschak's fault. It is not.

All right, come on, then. It's all of our fault.

Hey, look, Mr. Carter, we was just joking around with Rosalie for working

torso trap.

Oh, that's where I saw her.

Mr. Woman, you go to places like the torso trap?

I go there for the food.

Mr. Carter, it's not Rosalie's fault that she took that job.

Babies are expensive.

Babies? Yeah.

She had to find a job where she could make the most money.

Oh, come on, Horshack. Carter here's got two babies. You don't see him dancing

in no bar.

Well, of course not. Who's going to pay $5 to watch an ox in fishnet stockings?

You get that, Connor? An ox in fishnet stockings?

Little Rosalie Totsie has a baby.

All right, guys, why don't you tell me what happened?

Looking for Rosalie Totsie.

Well, I'm looking for Burt Reynolds.

But sometimes we have to be satisfied with what's available.

I'm an old friend of hers.

Well, don't you ever want to make new friends?

No, you don't understand. I'm her old high school teacher.

Oh, yeah?

I was always good in school.

In fact, teachers was my best subject.

I'm married.

So am I.

It's just a phase.

Mr. Carter.

Oh, Rosalie.

Well, I better go.

If I don't get out there on time, the drummer does my act.

Is she always that shy?

Olga warms up once she gets to know you.

Come on, have a seat, Mr. Carter.

So, uh, Rosalie, you guys tell me that, uh, you have a baby. Is it a boy or a

drama? Um, is it a boy or a girl?

Look, Mr. Carter, I know exactly what you're going to say. I can even do it

you.

Rosalie?

I didn't come here to tell you if you were right or wrong.

I came here just to see if you're happy.

I have a way with words, don't I?

You'd go into a corny story about your aunt who was a stripper.

Did she work in a club, Mr. Carter?

No, she worked on the streets.

She was a car stripper. Look,

if I ever become famous, you can make a living impersonating me.

Look, Mr. Carter, I don't like what I'm doing here, but I have a baby to

support. And this place pays $200 a week.

Rosalie, that's not the... Really?

And that's for three shows a night.

Nothing else.

You think I can fit into this outfit?

Rosalie, give yourself a chance.

If you want back to school, you can make $200 a week or more doing something

that you're proud of.

Well, I'd love to go back to school, but I have to worry about right now.

Look, Rosalie, come over to my house tomorrow about 3 .30. We'll talk some

and Julie would love to say hello to you.

I don't know.

What was that?

Silence.

I think peace has been declared.

Either that or we're being raided.

Okay. 3 .30 tomorrow.

Great. I'll see you 3 .30 tomorrow. I want to get out of here before Ogle

back.

See you tomorrow.

But come on, Uncle Morris. You've got a huge store. You must need somebody.

I mean, beside customers.

All right, Morris.

Okay, thanks anyway.

Bye.

Nothing for Rosalie, huh?

No, not unless the double knits start moving.

What about your family?

Gabe, my family is in Nebraska.

Somehow I just can't see Rosalie on a cattle drive.

Well, what are you going to do, Julie? I mean, we can't let her spend the next

ten years of her life bouncing off rim shots at the torso trap.

What's wrong with that? I'd probably do the same thing.

You would?

Sure, honey, I would.

You know, if I wasn't lucky and married to an underpaid teacher, I would do

anything that I could to put food on the table for my kids.

Julie, you're not helping me.

Yes, she is. Mrs. Cotter knows exactly what it's like for me.

I'll get it.

You would?

Hey,

Mr. Cotter. Hey, look, Rosalie, we've been thinking about it.

Yeah, baby. Okay, now look.

We tried to dislocate you into a new gig, but we're having a real tough time.

Since when do you guys care?

Come on, come on. We care, we care. We just haven't been able to find much.

But have you ever done any underwater welding?

Are you kidding? Of course not.

Yeah, well, how about meet a maid in a pay toilet?

No. Well, I'll tell you something. I could have gotten you the best job in

world, but you can't do it. Why not?

Because mothers can't be nuns.

Look, Rosalie, what's going on here, I think, is that they're trying to say

they're sorry and sweat hoggies.

Well, I'll talk in English.

I accept your apology.

Hi, everybody. Is Rosalie here?

Rosalie?

Rosalie.

I found a job.

What'd you get for me? Oh, it's not a job for you, Rosalie. It's a job for me.

I want to support you and your baby.

Mr. Woodman. Oh, uh,

Rosalie, I understand these thieves have been trying to get you a new job.

Forget it.

Thanks to me, you are now employed.

What did you do, uh, get her a job as a wine steward on Skid Row?

Yeah, why don't you give her your job, Mr. Woodman?

It ain't nobody doing it.

All right, guys, come on, that's enough of that. What kind of job did you get

her? Terrific job, Carter. Starts first thing Monday morning. He's going to be a

receptionist at Brooklyn College.

I'm talking second floor, $135 a week. Well, what about my dancing?

Well, you can be a dancing receptionist.

And while you're working there, you can get courses tuition -free.

Well... Come on, Rosalie, just start.

Rosalie, you've got to start somewhere.

Okay, I suppose...

Don't worry about a thing. I got the perfect act to replace him. All right,

boys, show us your legs here.

One, two, three, four.

Rosalie, listen, take care.

and good luck with your job as a receptionist. Oh, yeah. Thank you, Mrs.

for helping me out.

Uh, Rosalie?

Hmm? Did I ever tell you I had an aunt who was a receptionist?

No. Well, she was a receptionist in a hospital.

And one day she gets a phone call and she picks up the phone and the guy says,

How's Mr. Murphy?

She said, Mr. Murphy? He said, yeah, Mr. Murphy, 319. How's Mr. Murphy?

She looks up and says, Well, Mr. Murphy's condition is steadily

Who's this? Are you a relative?

He said, no, this is Murphy. They won't tell me anything up here.

Thank you, sir.

Rosalie, you know, you were kidding around in the dressing room when you

bet you had a joke about your aunt who was a stripper. I really did have an

who was a stripper. I hope she's funnier than the receptionist.

Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, she had a really funny act. You see, she would do an act

with these birds, these big swallows.

Oh.

What happened? Well, she could only work for six months a year because every

spring her act would go back to Capistrano.

Unless you get a Rosalie that swallows, go back to Capistrano.

Your dreams were your ticket out

Welcome back To that same old place that you laughed about

Well, the names have all changed since you hung around.

But those dreams have remained and they've turned around.

Who'd have thought they'd lead ya? Who'd have thought they'd lead ya? Back here

where we need ya. Back here where we need ya. We need ya, we need ya a lot.

Cause we got him on the spot. Welcome back.

Welcome back. Welcome back. Welcome back.

Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back.

We always could spot a friend.

Welcome back.

And I smile when I think how we must have been.

And I know what a scene you were learning in.

Was there something that made you come back again?