Original subtitles

Oh, excuse me, excuse me, oh, see, one week in Western School, they think

they're better than everybody.

They're all actors, Mr. Bell, if you were a producer, you'd be delusional.

Oh, so our host over there is being mobbed? Oh, Zach!

What, Zach Henley?

Self -proclaimed head lifeguard, the end of summer love?

Thanks, Zach!

I've seen all your movies.

Adios. Gracias.

This is familiar.

How much I had this in Egypt?

Egypt? You haven't been to Egypt quite much. Not in this lifetime, silly.

Kazatka said that I was a Nile princess 3 ,000 years ago and that I helped baby

Moses out of the bull restaurant.

Is that code for doing the nasty?

Because I don't believe you.

Madam Kudaska is my past life regression guide. And according to her, I've been

around the block more times than an ugly hooker.

I'm seeing a theme here.

Oh!

Oh! Engelberg!

Engelberg!

Sorry! Long time no see!

Sorry. Do I know you?

No.

I don't know why I said that.

I get that all the time.

I'm sorry. She's just a little nervous. I know she's been really wanting your

autograph. You don't mind?

I don't mind at all.

Does it look like me?

Yeah. Thank you. Thank you, Natalie.

Ladies? Come on.

Oh, my God. A genuine autograph.

Thank you.

It's so weird, though.

It felt like I knew him all day long. I've been having these bizarre...

Splashes. Like from another lifetime.

I think you need something to cool off.

Let's get some agua.

I'm telling you, right out there, right outside on the beach, right in the sand,

right there, that's where he pulled the love in scene for peace, love, and the

whole bag. You know, the Times said that that spoke for an entire generation,

man. Right on.

Yo. Hey, Randy, my man. And who was there? You were there. You were there.

were there. I was there.

Hey, Val.

Val, kitty cat.

Dig it.

Zach is back.

Can't you hear about my new miniseries, The 60s? Far off, far out.

Wow, groovy.

Oh, could you get my roommate?

She totally digs it.

Maxie, look who's on the scene. Zach Hanley. Meet Maxine Delacroix. Hey.

She needs to work on her hand -eye coordination, huh?

Ooh.

Max, why the freakout?

I just had a flashback.

That Zach guy, I... He murdered me.

The beautiful and lethal Valerie Irons.

Plucked from obscurity to head an elite Los Angeles bodyguard agency.

They know how to get things done.

Eventually.

We must really believe in that whole murdered in the past life thing.

He's already got three tabloid interviews online.

You don't buy all that days of voodoo.

Many cultures accept reincarnation as fact. Thank you very much.

You believe in reincarnation, don't you, Johnny?

Well, I don't know, Kay.

I might believe it when I was a challenger during the Goldwater period.

Well, I'm telling you, Val was there, and she said that Max was killed to

VIP? Oh, God, thank you for being there.

Maxine? He said he's going to kill me.

He? Who said he's going to kill you? It's on my email.

Wait, wait, I'm coming over.

Maxine?

Max?

Hello?

I'm trying to chill out my chakras with some moves from that power yoga website

thingy, and then I heard that creepy voice.

You've got mail.

What Nimrod sends threats by mail?

Zach Henley, read for yourself.

Clap your yap, stay clear of the fuzz, or you'll be a dead kitty cat.

Anybody could have sent that.

Oh, hello.

It's the double O's. Nobody uses words like the fuzz or kitty cat anymore. Max,

it's just hard to believe that Zach Henley would be making these death

The guy doesn't have the oysters. He's still into that peace love crap.

He does have a motive.

Anybody who's been reading the tabloids knows that Maxine thinks that Zach

killed her. Or the other her.

And he's trying to kill me again.

I need protection.

Please.

Okay. Sal said so.

Thank you.

There you go. Great car.

What is that, Viagra on wheels?

If I ever have to work that hard to look cool, shoot me.

Yo.

Yo, Carlos, I'll go, por favor.

Zach Henley?

Yeah. We're VIP.

Yeah, neat.

I was told you'd be here.

All right, why don't you give me the pitch?

How much?

Come again?

How much for the bodyguard trip?

That's what we're here about, right?

The Zachmeister is smoking hot one more time and you want me for a client.

Everybody wants a piece. I can't blame you.

Actually, we already have a client.

Maxine de la Cruz?

You ever heard of her?

Cruz?

Well, I know her. Tom Cruz. Hey, he's on to something with that long hair. And

Penelope Cruz, she's a little skinny but cute and a J .Crew catalog is neat.

Valeria and his roommates from the party last night.

Oh.

the trippy chick with the broken glass bit, yeah.

Man, was she smoking on the wrong end of the bong or what? She received a

threatening email.

She thought it might be from you.

Couldn't have been.

Why, were you too busy planning Woodstock 3?

Nope. It's email, baby. It's not my bag. It's too distancing.

In my days, you wanted to send a message, you get up close.

You get my message?

Itty cat.

Peace,

baby.

All right,

look, it didn't scare her off. Now she's got VIP involved. I'm telling you, she

is on to something.

Are you sure you don't want any chamomile movement or tea to soothe the

you? Or youse?

Whoever made you got in there.

No, that's okay, Val, thanks.

Turn that around upside down.

You have the world's greatest bodyguard watching you, especially.

Well, the world's greatest roommate, anyway.

And you have that hoot to protect you from everything. Doesn't that pack some

Asia Mojo?

Hmm, yonk?

I guess so, I don't know. Where'd you get it, anyway?

Roseboswap meat.

I had to elbow Cher out of the way to get it. I think it was Cher. It looked

like her.

You know what? That is when all those silly flashbacks started happening.

You think there's a connection?

Yeah. These psychics are always picking up dead people's stuff and soaking in

their spiritual remains.

Ew.

Nasty. I know it's true. I saw it on Murder, She Wrote. Now hold it and

concentrate. Okay.

See if you can pick up anything.

Well, there's a party.

with music and dancing.

My name is Layla.

Oh, good, a clue.

Okay, we need more.

How are we going to get it?

What would Madame Katsaska do right now?

Huh? I tell you what, silly.

Are you sure this damn thing's going to work?

You saw a ghost in you.

Huh? The undead can get really chatty. It can make you feel at home.

Hey, come on. Wait.

I've been running a random password generator all day trying to hack into

FBI's files. Get this.

It seems that Zach Henley's girlfriend disappeared under very mysterious

circumstances.

Her name was Layla Shea.

No, no, no. Don't say another word. Because when Maxine tells us what

we want to know that she was really there.

You know, someday your eyes are going to stick that way.

Hold hands.

One. Question.

When did you become an expert in conducting seances?

Well, one day I had my palm read by a gypsy in the Beverly Center, and she

I was a natural medium.

Medium?

More like a large.

Max, are you ready?

Ready as I'll ever be.

Hold hands.

Okay, everybody, focus.

Channel your spiritual energy.

We call upon the spirit of Layla Shea.

Layla, can you read me?

Layla, come in, come in, wherever you are.

I'm here.

It's me.

Me who?

Me, Max?

It's Layla.

Layla Shea?

Where are you?

I'm right here at the mansion, hanging out with the tribe.

I see them all.

Kwanji.

And Shikaz.

And... Echo's Mary Beth.

Shikaz. Don't bogart them with tooth.

Are you going to hit it or not?

Jaguar is a tool of the man that subjugates the righteous.

Give me some of that subjugation, baby.

You are turning me on, brother.

You see, man, materialism is a trap, you know. You don't own stuff, man.

It owns you.

It's true.

I'm a slave to my trust fund.

I need to cast it away to be free like you, Quan Chi.

Wow, look what I found.

These are great, I hear.

For you, one for you, and one for you.

I love you here.

Oh, jeez, are these for my dad's greenhouse? He's gonna freak.

What the hell?

It's only stuff, huh?

Hey, where's my woman, Layla?

Look what I got for you.

Hey, Randy.

You got the munchies, man. Why don't you go out and score some chow?

Sure thing, man.

That's my man.

I love you.

It kind of sounds like... Well, I don't know what it sounds like. It's just very

funny.

Nikki, could you get that, please? Because I want to rock my psychic boat.

Isn't this so exciting? You're finding out so much cool information.

It's kind of like IMAX, but it's QMAX.

Red roses?

Well, that means passion or pervert.

I'll take for Tasha.

The card says for Maxine.

We've got a bomb here.

Nick, can you defuse it?

Well, we've got two minutes.

That's our time, isn't it?

Watch from the balcony.

Hey, you.

Hey, what are you doing?

Oh,

man.

Sorry.

Johnny's with Val and Maxine. They insisted on stopping for some orange

Earl Grey smoothie or something like that.

You got anything?

Working on it.

I've got a little something.

Seems our Layla Shea actually did hang with some really iffy characters,

like Max said she did. Back in 68, when she and Zach were an item, his family

mansion was used as a hippie crash pad.

Gee, life was simpler then.

One pair of jeans and no mutual funds.

I got a buddy with the Bureau. Maybe he could add to the story.

The FBI kept complete dossiers on lots of Dak's buddies.

Hmm, that's funny.

The casing for the Sun -Tex was cardboard.

Big bang, no shrapnel.

The kind of things they'd use for special effects.

The kind of thing you find around a movie studio.

As in FTS.

Where Dak Henley is filming his new miniseries.

Might be time to have another chat with Mr. Doc.

Count me out.

Johnny's going to need a break after hanging out with Val and Maxine all

morning.

Do I look like a stalker?

I'm anywhere near Maxine Villacook.

Ask anybody.

We're asking you.

So, Zach, what kind of flowers do you like? Roses?

Roses, carnations, whatever you want to send me, kitty cat.

All right, guys, look, I'm prepping for a major miniseries here. Are we done

screwing around?

All right, go ahead.

We got another way to play this.

Test the Simtex residue, get a trace on the batch.

Lift the fingerprints from the envelope card. So much easier to lift.

Now, wait a second.

The video from the security cameras.

That's the way to go. All right, guys, look.

Who's just trying to scare her?

Randy.

The guy's a little fried from the 60s.

Randy. Randy Pazinski, we go way back.

The guys always had this kind of hero worship thing.

Who could resist?

Anyway, he was a gopher on my first film. We sort of became friends, and he

a hard left. I still try to look out for him every now and then.

What can I say? I'm a loyal guy.

So you think he'd want to return your loyalty by killing our client?

Killing?

Oh, God, no.

Is that what happened?

Oh, Randy.

She's shaken up plenty, but not dead.

Oh, good.

All right, look, guys, here's what I'm going to do.

I'm going to keep a tight leash on the guy.

Nothing else is going to happen. I promise you.

Hey, it's all about love.

Right, baby?

Love.

How about Layla Shea?

You loved her, too?

Layla?

I've heard that name for a while. Layla, what does Layla have to do with

anything?

You tell us.

You know, you two are whacked out. Just stay away from me, huh?

Far away.

Dig it?

Okay, girls.

Once more, with feeling.

Do we have to? This whole thing is sleeping me out.

Good, let's blow it off. No, wait a second. Okay, don't be a sticking -up -a

-toop -key.

And for you, you can do this, okay? Just focus.

MaxiVision, if there's anything else that Layla can tell us, sure would help.

Agents of the spiritual world.

Please hear our plea.

Layla Shea.

Yoo -hoo.

Talk to us.

And no roaming charges.

Yoo -hoo.

Layla.

Olly olly oxen free.

Come out, come out, wherever you are.

I can't do this, Val. There's blood in a window in Zach's bedroom.

He fell.

Zach's hurt. I hurt him and he fell. And that was his blood on the floor.

Oh, my God.

She's absolutely right.

After Layla's parents discovered her missing, the police held a huge

investigation. And they discovered dry blood on the floor of the mansion

the way she said.

Zach Henley's? Mm -hmm. He claimed that he cut himself while slicing the shrink

wrap off an album cover.

Oh, my God.

I've done that.

I was so happy when they came out with CDs, but they're even harder to get

They said the police files were sealed.

They were.

There's absolutely no way that Max could know this information unless...

unless she was there.

Take your door.

So will you come upstairs with me, too, and check the place out, even under the

bed and everything?

Oh, you're not going to make me.

Oh, please, please, please.

With all the weird visions and the blood and everything, I can't go upstairs

alone. Max, trust me. You're going to be safe up in your house while we check

this out.

Hallucinations won't hurt you.

Oh, please. I promise I won't say mean things to you again. Not until I have

this.

Why'd they ever learn?

Somebody's definitely trying to kill Maxine.

Candidate number one, Zach Henley.

Wow. This is really getting serious.

Maybe we should call Detective Crispy.

And tell him what?

We got email threats, prop bombs, a bad driver?

Did your FBI contact remember anything else about Layla?

A little bit.

The Bureau had an agent working undercover inside Zach's group. He heard

Shikaz and Loco got busted for packing explosives.

Shikaz bought it in the joint.

Some biker dude responded to his politics with a shiv up his neck. What

Loco? She got cozy with some prison mama. They busted out together.

They played Thelma and Louise till the cops blew them away.

Seems that Zach lived there at the mansion with his father until 1975 when

had a very public argument.

Zach's father threw him out of the house, cut him off without a dime.

You think the senior Henley would remember anything?

Zach's dad died three years ago without leaving a will, so the house and the

entire estate are still in probate.

I guess he wouldn't object to us taking a look around the place.

All right, I'll call Val on the game.

We are now entering the house of Hanley.

You know, if this were a movie, there'd be some wacko in a hockey mask right

behind that door. Go first.

Age before beauty.

Let's break on. Make sure we know our company.

We're on it.

So, are you feeling any vibes?

Seeing any cold spots?

Hot spots?

You see any spots?

This is so weird.

Feels like I've been in this house before, but I haven't been anywhere near

house.

Yeah, this is where we used to party.

One pill makes you larger, and one pill makes you

smaller.

And the ones that mother gives you don't do anything

at all.

Go ask Alice.

That's where it happened.

I can't go in. I can't. No.

Matt, you have to, okay?

Layla is the only one I can prove that killed her. Come on. Let's nail that

sucker.

Randy buried me up there.

So there you have it.

Layla will lead it to the body.

But she's dead.

Which means she must have come back.

Which means I was right.

Which means Tasha was wrong.

Note to self. Tell Kate to loop it and put her on Tasha's answering machine

and over again.

Here, get the whole poncho.

There was an ID on the body.

Lay the sale right. And if Maxine is right about the poncho, forensics ought

get some good hard evidence to convict Randy Pazinski.

Randy, what were you thinking, man?

I'll find out soon enough. We're picking him up right now.

You think you know a guy, huh?

Good work on this.

Be sure and thank Val and Maxine for me.

Yeah, I'll do that.

Woo -hoo! We did it!

What's up, Max?

Well, now I got a feeling there's more. We missed something.

Oh, boo, you did great.

There's no time to let your silver lining get all cloudy.

That'll make you feel better. Let's go shopping. Let's go shopping for that

antique reproduction silverware you always wanted.

You say silver?

Yeah, you know, the stuff that looks good on bracelets, candlesticks.

Silverware.

That's a damn shame. What are you looking at?

Damn shame.

Gah, gah, gah, gah. Is something the matter, Charles? Yeah.

Don't come back.

Uh, I don't think any of those people were what they seemed.

Back at the mansion, everything was so clear.

Oh, so now you're telling me you don't think Randy's the killer?

All right, then.

Boy,

this place didn't feel so creepy and spooky with people in it.

Oh, sorry. False alarm. It was just my purse.

Oh, Val, this place creeps me out. Even the furniture looks haunted.

Don't worry.

The spirits know we come in peace.

I just hope we don't go in pieces.

Come on.

Dad, bye, Grandma.

Okay. All the way in this time. Come on, all the way in. No!

Whatever happened here, it's all in the past, man. I can't hurt you now.

Unless I have to keep listening to you talk like that.

Man.

I guess you're on to me.

Well, that's a damn shame.

Why are you taking Zach's silver?

My silver isn't a turquoise.

Angeline, I think we got ourselves some company.

You're going to get yourself in real trouble.

That is a damn shame.

Zach?

This is Zach.

Zach? No, not here.

You know where the little girls are, man?

No, I've got to find Zach.

Hey.

Look, chicky -boo, you seem like a nice enough kid. Now go back to performing

the way you still can.

How do you know where I'm from?

FBI. We know everything.

I thought you were just some dick.

Oh, you think some could actually be that ditzy?

Now do yourself a favor. Get out of here, and don't come back.

Zach?

What are you looking at?

What do you guys think you're doing?

You want to rob a bank or something?

No, really, what do you guys think you're doing?

You didn't see nothing.

Got it?

Maybe we ought to snuff her out right now.

Shoot her up with some of that bad LSD the government's passing around. You

that, huh?

Down, baby.

Down.

We got some business to take care of.

Zach's not going to like this.

He knows all about it.

Okay.

Oh,

Layla. Far out. It's recent.

My dad would have a cow if he knew about this.

You jive turkey, Beck. Is this your idea of fun, banging a headboard with some

bottle -blown tramp?

Oh, listen, baby, I can explain.

Zach's just trying to help me free myself.

I'm about to free you of your hair, you fucker. You better get out of here. I

don't need to take this crap.

I'm taking my private jet back to Chicago.

Get out of here!

Come on, baby. That chick is rolling in bread. I need money to finish my movie.

Peace, love, and the whole bag. This flick, it's a message. It's the truth.

could change the world. We're almost there. I got the whole tribe working on

You know about... Kwanji and Shakaz?

Yeah, it's just business, baby. Kwanji knows a fence who can get top dollar.

the dynamite I sold Shakaz, it's for my buddy in special effects.

What if Shakaz kills somebody, Zach?

It's all for the cause, baby. It's for my movie.

Man, this is way too heavy for me. I'm calling the pigs. Oh, Layla, you're not

going to do anything stupid, are you?

Let go of me. Baby, I'm warning you.

I'm warning you. Don't make this hard for me. I need you on my side. You're

hurting me, Zach.

You won't go. I can't let you do that.

Layla?

Layla?

Layla, baby?

Oh, Randy, you gotta help me here.

She was gonna go to the cops, man. I had no choice.

Oh, you gotta help me, Randy.

Oh, my God.

It's all true. Look, this is Layla's necklace.

I gotta call Crispy. You've got the wrong psycho.

Zach's the killer.

It's cold in here.

He'll probably go to the spooky old place and crawl in with them.

That's right, kitty cat.

like throwing us off a building or something? I know. There are worms down

What? Yeah, I know.

Would you two just shut up and dig?

Nice and deep this time.

I don't want any bodies showing up.

Uh, God, it's so drafty in here. Don't you think we should button up?

I hate to get the sniffles in my next life.

Uh, Zach, do you remember Layla? She used to wear, like, a necklace. Do you

remember that at all?

Could you two just shut up and dig the hole?

Now, dig!

You know, that is the thing that you use to kill her and has your blood all over

it and completely ties you to the crime.

The arm.

You had that on when I met you.

I thought it looked familiar. All right.

Hey, hey, you.

Hand it over.

Yeah, like I'd be stupid enough to bring it here.

Yeah. Really, the cops already have it, okay? They're probably peeling your icky

DNA off it as we speak. Yeah.

What are you doing?

Give me what's in your hand. What is it?

Nice try, kitty cat.

Nice try.

Come here, kitty cat.

Come here.

Now you hand it over.

Hey, you guys.

I just got a really strange email from Val.

What the hell does that mean?

Send help.

Watch it, Jack.

Now, hand it over.

No. Hand it over.

Watch it.

Come and get it.

Hippie dip.

Well, Layla had a mouth on her, too.

Yeah?

Ah!

No more blood. No more blood.

Hold it.

Move, you lose.

Help me.

Help me.

Somebody help me.

You two okay?

Well, we're okay. It's just I think this guy needs a little help. He's not doing

very good.

We can flash on past lives this way? Yeah.

Oh, look.

Here's a good choker for you.

Sorry.

Pasadena, only thing coming in this neck will have diamonds on it.

Well, this one's empty.

Let me see.

What?

What? Are you getting something, Val?

I smell dead people.

And they're walking around everywhere.

And they don't know they smell.

for another behind -the -scenes look at VIP.

Today's subject, working out.

The important aspect of bodyguarding, staying in shape. Not only to look good,

but strength and power.

Keeping fit is the key in this business.

Health in mind, health in body.

Working out means something different for everyone.

For Nikki, I think working out is a competitive sport.

But at least she does it.

Now, Val, there's a mystery.

Hey, buddy.

I've never seen Val work out.

There's not an ounce of fat on that body.

All she eats is junk food.

I admire Johnny.

He's real dedicated to his body.

Quick, he appreciates the value of a good workout.

Well, we all know I used to be a professional boxer.

But, of course, I used to be a martial arts movie star.

So, obviously, I can work out a little harder than him.

I can take more.

Quick is good, but I'm better.

And they say I'm competitive?

As if.

Stay in shape.

Be prepared.

No one's going to stop VIP from doing their job.