Original subtitles

Hey, Nick.

Everyone's headed over the phone. Were you down?

I'm just coming up on the 6th Street Bridge.

I'll meet you there.

I'll beat you there.

Hold that thought.

Sounds like trouble.

Nothing I can't handle.

Big boy, you're fast.

Hey!

You like my turn, man.

Let me go for a ride, man.

You've got a taste for blood, haven't you?

You're talking to your sword.

toys.

Mine's bigger.

We'll meet again, friend.

You, me, and her.

The beautiful and lethal Valerie Irons.

Plucked from obscurity to head an elite Los Angeles bodyguard agency.

They know how to get things done.

Eventually.

Another normal day at VIP.

Johnny's doing research online.

Mickey's doing her makeup.

And Kay is loading up a Zooka.

Weird.

This is a parallel universe.

Kay, I swear I stashed a magrenade in her makeup kit.

Hold on, let me just finish inventory and I'll help you find it.

Have you ever used a computer?

I like to use this one for target practice.

Phew.

Let me show you why it is I make the medium -sized bucks.

He's trying to track down those cowboys from this afternoon.

One of the bikers looks familiar.

Okay, I try cross -referencing motorcycles with medieval weapons.

It would help if we could cite a specific crime or felony offense.

Didn't some crazy motorhead just crash a wedding where some Richie Rich was

getting married?

I saw it on Fox's Worst Weddings Actors. Good thinking, Val.

There was an incident a while back with some mad bikers jamming up the

government motorcade last time. Here.

What did those jokers look like?

The wedding crashers wore racing leathers with bucket helmets.

And the other ones... Same thing.

The police record noted that two of the bikers had signs of bizarre wounds.

One had spiked holes in his leg. Ew.

And the other one's fingers were crushed as if by a mace.

He said he belonged to the Knights of Chaos.

Freak shows.

And you said one of those dudes looked familiar to you?

Actually, I didn't say.

Hey,

Joey, punch my... I'll be back for the late shift.

You got it, Kate.

Hey, Caitlin.

Johnny Lowe.

Haven't seen you in a while.

You sure about that?

I thought I saw you earlier at the 6th Street Bridge.

I don't know what you're talking about.

Look, I'm kind of late for something.

I know you're running with a dangerous crowd.

And who are you, my fairy godbiker?

I've seen you working here since you were 16.

I like to keep on seeing you, in one piece.

I was 14.

I lied about my AIDS to get the job.

If you don't mind, I'm late.

Be careful.

She should be here any second now.

I told you, Chad, we should never have let her in, man.

We're getting way too lax.

We?

I like to miss the memo.

When did we go from a lord and his vassals to a ruddy democracy?

I know, I know.

I'm late.

I got held up at work.

It is a privilege to ride with us and an honor to partake in our duels.

To the bottom of the list.

Well, I guess I'll just have to bounce back.

This is not a game, lady.

Good, because I'm not playing one. I just want to ride and piss off some fat

cats. That's what we're all about, isn't it?

Well, isn't it?

Glad to get your call, Mr.

Kittredge. We're always eager to meet with potential clients.

Especially ones with $8 billion.

Would you like to have a seat? Can I get you a cappuccino?

Let's cut the crap, shall we?

I don't respond well to suck -up.

Now, which one of you hassled Caitlin Ryder?

The clerk from the bike shop.

She's a good kid. I didn't want to see her hurt.

Now, what's it to you?

She's my daughter.

How can we help you, Mr. Kittredge?

It's Jared.

And you can't.

But you can.

You're on my payroll starting right now.

Six figures to keep an eye on her. Big fat bonus when you get her home.

Johnny's already got a job.

You're not listening, Junior.

He's working for me.

Caitlin's been in the ER three times because of these hyenas.

I want her back home.

Um, Jared.

Problem. We're not in the kidnapping business.

Oh.

I get it.

You don't want to cut it, is that it?

All right, I get Johnny Kung Fu Fighter here, and the rest of you can... I'm

tearing down this warehouse, putting up an art museum.

Don't anybody get misty on me. It's a tax write -off. The groundbreaking

ceremony's this weekend.

You can all run security.

I'll have to talk it over.

Listen, guys, Caitlin does need protection.

Those nights of chaos, it's just a time bomb waiting to blow.

Then it's settled.

This should hold you for about a week.

My daughter attends the party. I'll double that.

You got it?

I do not like that man.

But I could learn to.

Looks like we got ourselves a job.

So, Johnny Knievel, what's your plan?

Well, I'm going to need backup.

Most of the nights ride with partners, so any volunteers?

Come on, guys. You guys are missing out.

I'm testing Ducati's new 996.

Okay?

My parents won't let me ride a motorcycle.

Guess that leaves, uh... Reborn to be wild.

What's that?

Oh, it's my new Wichama thingy. I got it so I could record my entire life as a

road warrior.

That's why it's pretty easy.

There you go.

Hold on, Val.

Start at 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.

We're going in.

Dice of Chaos!

It's tournament time.

Can you feel your destiny?

Knife of O.

Bound by oath to hazard life and limb.

Today, we are all heroes.

Because it's not money that makes a man, but courage!

The rich might think they're better than we are, and they love to rub our

noses in it.

Well, the rich be damned!

We are the Knights of Chaos, and we rule!

Your face is familiar.

Who will sponsor this miscreant show?

We run a restricted club here.

Nights only.

Oh, wait a second.

Just wait a tick here.

I just caught Excalibur on AMC the other day, and that Arthur dude definitely

wasn't a knight when he pulled Mr. Glitter Sword from the stone, and he

becoming the baddest knight of them all.

What I'm saying is, why don't you give this guy a chance?

You know, unless you're scared of a little competition.

Yes.

A challenge.

There is one such test.

But it hasn't been used in years.

What are you talking about?

I don't know.

There! The contender will ride through the blades of chance.

Sir Scraps, connect the generator.

That's not exactly what I had in mind.

That's suicide.

If his heart is noble, he has nothing to fear.

Look, this isn't a book, Tag. This is real life. What ails thee, fair lady?

Do you know this drudge?

No, of course not.

Dost thou accept the challenge?

Sure. Why not?

Yoo -hoo. I can think of a few reasons.

Move her to the peanut gallery.

Great. Now I can't see anything.

Got it.

Oh, now what?

is thy name?

Lurleen?

Ah, definitely.

I knight thee, Guinevere.

You may now pick a battle.

You mean a man?

Someone who can wash my car, feed me grapes, and give me deep tissue

If it doth please thee.

He does look kind of hot.

But he'll do.

Right there.

Welcome to the Knights of Chaos!

beauties, aren't they?

But I've got four more at home just like them.

I take it this is the one for the auction?

Correct. Should bring in a few bucks.

Speaking of which, you spending any of my money yet?

Some. There are a few expenses we need to talk about. Fill me.

When do I see my daughter?

You can't guarantee that, sir.

I know that.

But I can still hope.

She's my only child.

Big joke, isn't it? It's a big joke.

You work your whole damn life so she doesn't have to grow up poor.

Send her to the right schools and you lose her to the street.

Maybe it is in her blood.

Mother always said we were two of a kind.

I just need to know that my daughter is okay.

She's in good hands.

Valerie Irons is personally handling the cakes.

Now, this hairspray contains aloe, vitamin E, mineral water, and brush

This will keep your hair in place, even with the helmet on. But the most

important thing about it is that it's all natural and not tested on animals.

Come on, get it.

Come on.

Guardian angel, right at the beginning.

Looks like the knights are going to eat this weekend.

The Guardian Angel's into leather.

Smells like heaven.

I was thinking... What do you want?

I want to talk.

Must be nice.

Having all that money, you can just give away.

What makes you think I have money?

I saw your stats on Fortune 500.

I'm decaying.

So that's your angle.

You're on my dad's payroll.

Why doesn't he just let me be?

Caitlin, why don't you give the guy a break?

He's your father.

Touching.

I want you to get out of here before I rat you out to Kat.

Really? Yeah?

Go ahead.

Tell him.

Tell him that your billionaire father hired you.

I hear tags got a real soft spot for the rich.

Cretan from last month's country club crusade are still running from us.

Big whoop.

You spoke tonight?

You heard me.

We tore up a golf course, man.

Big freaking whoop.

Why don't we just grab some pinky rings or a diamond Rolex or something, man?

Why? Why?

Because our mission is to bring light into their darkness. To spread the

tenets of our sacred brotherhood. To drive our message home.

What message?

I'm surrounded by idiots.

Jersey, what is our message?

Money sucks?

Eloquently put.

We are knights of chivalry, you paltry.

Doth thou understand?

Bonjour. Hi.

Sorry I'm late.

Did I miss anything fun?

Oh, cool, drink.

Guinevere. Join us. Please.

See, for a band of married men, you guys sure look a little cranky.

And, pray tell, what does milady suggest to lighten things up?

Oh, well, remember in the olden days, the guys used to like chasing that

thingy around.

The Holy Grail. I had one of those once.

Can I trade this for a nonfat no -whip soy macchiato?

You were saying?

Oh, um, well, like... For instance, me and my friend Maxine, we were searching

for the perfect pair of candy apple red Manala Blahniks, and we couldn't find

them anywhere. They were totally out of stock. We searched the entire tri -state

area, and by Georgio, we found them.

You're saying we should go shoe shopping?

No. It was about the quest.

It so bonded us.

A quest.

Yes.

I like it. A quest.

Burn. Burn.

Jump. Jump.

Jump. Jump.

Jump. Jump. Jump.

Jump. Jump.

Jump. Jump.

Jump. Jump.

Jump. Jump. Jump. Jump. Jump. Jump. Jump.

Jump. Jump. Jump. Jump. Jump. Jump. Jump.

Jump. Jump. Jump. Jump.

Jump.

Jump.

that they do, like, a group bonding session. I meant something more like,

know, a scavenger hunt or something like that. But I just want to break in.

Okay. Stay here.

You know that?

Somebody's going to get hurt.

We don't do any more than we can handle.

Really?

Chasen, on deck.

You, you ain't far behind.

Some people think gambling is living on the edge.

Others like to day trade.

This girl likes to ride.

Who dares challenge me?

You're in for some fun, girl.

I got you up against the... Change of plan.

Sorry, m 'lady.

Someone volunteered to joust in your place.

Can't fault a knight for being chivalrous.

Scrap? What is, Caitlin?

Scrap!

Percy! Harry!

In... You're not kicking my...

You got K -Power. You promised me my daughter would be safe.

She is.

Johnny checked in about an hour ago.

Really? Let me tell you about this. It was on the internet.

It seems her new best friends tore up a street, sent one of their own to the

hospital. Caitlin wasn't hurt, sir.

Val and Johnny have things under control.

Where are they?

I want some answers. You're on my payroll. Where are they keeping my

Their headquarters is a warehouse on 93rd near LAX.

Mr. Kittredge, I hope you're not planning on going after her.

I won't have to.

She'll come to me.

What were you thinking, showing off like that?

Don't worry.

Your guardian angel will take care of everything.

Hi, sweetheart.

I need money.

Oh, hello, Daddy. How you been?

Hope you haven't been too worried.

Look, let's not play games, okay? I need...

I need $10 ,000.

You got it.

Really?

Sure.

As soon as you come home.

Dad, I'm not coming home.

But you got no problem spending my money.

It's for a friend.

Katie, when are you going to realize that these people are just using you for

the money? These punks are using you for the money.

Nice try. They don't even know about the money.

You know, they have no idea that I'm a kid rich. They care about who I am, not

just some bank book.

But, you know, I wouldn't expect you to understand.

Katie! Katie!

Tell me, friend, what's your quest?

The girl, the glory, or is it something else?

The right.

I just like the right.

I fear thou speakest falsely, and I fear thou speakest like a B -movie.

Come on, man.

What's with the Renaissance fair stuff? It's getting old.

You're not one of us.

You want me out?

Okay, I'm out.

Caitlin, come on.

Let's go.

By the choice, lady.

But you must be careful where your friends are.

Nights of chaos.

Friendly neighborhood sheriff.

Anybody got the lease to this place?

Didn't think so.

Show's over.

Say it!

Says the new owner.

Jared Kittredge bought this building three hours ago, and he wants you out.

cast out of our dominion with neither keep nor castle, was ever royal

so abused.

So what shall we do?

Do?

Seek revenge.

An eye for an eye, a kingdom for a kingdom. Look, there.

VIP.

Invited to protect Kittredge Gal.

That's Gwynevere.

Better known as Valerie Irons.

Spent her on a little quest of her own while we pursue ours.

You want to crash the party?

I want to crash Jared Kittredge.

Destroy him.

Humiliate him. Bring him to his knees.

But you have to tangle with the IP.

They'll be powerless to resist us.

Because we're going with a very special guest.

May I present to you...

Miss Caitlin

Kittredge.

Everything's okay on this side.

Hey, try the shrimp before they're all gone.

I could get used to working for a guy like Kittredge.

Thanks, son.

Ah, yeah. Hey, Dr.

Carroll. Oh,

my dear.

I love your book.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you our host, Jared Kittredge.

Here, drink up.

You're going to need that when I'm through with you.

I'm the only one with the key.

Now, as those of you who know me will attest to, I am a lousy speech maker.

So, excuse me.

All right, so I just would like to say thank you very much for coming out and

supporting the museum and enjoy the party.

Daddy, I am so sorry.

Who the hell are you?

The entertainment.

Time to play who wants to bury a billionaire.

Or say we go for a ride.

Hi, it's Kay.

Hey, it's me.

The night totally dissed me.

I'm going to have to call you back.

Don't bother.

I'm heading in anyway.

No way I'm looking at a good party.

Are you on a guest list?

I'm on it.

Look, I'm sure we can make a deal here. Just let my daughter go.

You okay, man?

Hey, where's your bike?

You all right? Yeah.

Yeah. It's time for your last ride, mongrel dog.

I think I've just been challenged to a joust.

Blech!

You talk to this one, too?

Are you going to keep on riding?

You look pretty good out there.

I don't want to steal your thunder, Johnny. You're the biker in the family.

But if, you know, BMW decides to make a bike one day, then I'm going to come

back and kick your booty.

Val, BMW does make a motorcycle.

They do?

Hey, you guys, look what just arrived.

A bonus kit from Jared Kittredge. Oh, I'm going to need the new pair of

monologues.

What happened between Caitlin and her father?

Hi.

Oh, I think we're about to find out.

Hey. Hey, guys.

Hey.

So what ever happened to Scrappy Duke?

Oh, he'll be okay. My father ended up paying for his operation.

So, uh, things are good with your dad?

More like a work in progress.

Anyway, I came to say goodbye.

Johnny. Johnny.

Very safe, huh?

You could have had the gal, Galahad.

This episode of VIP features music by The Deftones.

VIP team member Johnny Lowe on motorcycles and the martial arts.

I can pretty much do a lot of things with my hands and feet.

I like the flexibility of being able to control what kind of physical harm I can

do to somebody.

Not necessarily do them in.

Motorcycle is definitely my passion.

Good morning, guys. You guys are missing out.

I'm testing Ducati's new 996.

It gives me a sense of freedom.

Reborn to be wild.

I love riding it.

I love Peter. I'm on it.

Being able to control, you know, this machine.

Riding motorcycles and doing martial arts at the same time is, uh, it's

The motorcycle is

where it's at.