Original subtitles

Irene, we can't do this. No, this is wrong.

I know.

This is wrong. I know. Yeah. I know. This is wrong. I know.

What?

That's the stuff.

Morning. Morning.

So you want breakfast?

No, thanks.

Want to get the hell out of my bed? Yes, please.

Berg, this was so wrong.

Very wrong, Irene. Very, very wrong.

See, my heart still belongs to Pete.

I just got caught up in the romance and the music.

See, this is why I never go to weddings or circuses.

Promise me you'll never tell another soul.

Oh, well.

Don't you worry, Irene. I'm more embarrassed about this than you are. Oh,

because of Pete?

Sure, why not?

Listen, I promise you, what happened here last night...

Beverell time.

We'll never, ever leave this room.

Good. This is the stupidest thing I've ever done.

So that's what she meant by ride the

tiger.

That's the best time today.

What's that?

Best time? I don't think the people with the slower times could hear you.

All right, dinner, and back to the barracks.

That was amazing.

You know, I am in a zone. Everything is coming together. I feel so alive, so

real. Ow, buckle.

Hey, um, why don't you meet me tonight in the supply shack?

It's against the rules. I mean, what if I get caught?

I promise I'll be quick.

Okay, let's not win every race.

Listen, I really want to, but I've got to train tonight. I mean, my time on the

drills have been terrible. Did you hear about mine?

Yes. I have to admit, I do like having a hot shot fireman for a boyfriend.

Yeah. All sexy, covered in suet. Yeah.

Meet me tonight, and I promise not to shower.

But you shower, okay?

I'll see you at midnight.

I can't do that. I've never been able to do that.

If I thought the honeymoon would be like this, I would have trained.

Yeah. I'm glad we waited till we were married.

Time to refuel.

I'll grab some snacks.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, honey, honey, honey.

Those are five dollars a bottle. There's a faucet and a plastic cup in the

bathroom.

Why don't I just lop up the toilet water?

I don't mean it like that. I'm just saying we could use the money for more

important things.

Johnny!

No, nothing for me. I'm stuffed with love.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, cashews.

I don't even like cashews.

Hey, baby, you want some water?

Okay, that's it.

Where are you going?

To the store before they charge us for that stuff.

Save a few bucks.

Are you crazy?

Not at their prices.

You tried to take food from a bear.

I can't believe Marnie hasn't even called since the accident.

Perhaps she was jumped by a chipmunk.

That's Marnie. That's Marnie. Wait, wait, wait.

You

ready?

I'm ready. I'm ready. Wait, wait.

I mean, look.

Stay calm.

Don't make a scene. I was mauled by a wild animal. The doctor says... Bert,

I talk to you? Sure thing.

Shut the door. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

You're not going to believe this. There's a photographer at the wedding.

And I also saw one at the mall. This is getting out of hand.

No.

Idiot. There may be pictures out there. You know, of us.

You're not going to kill me, are you, Irene?

Don't be silly.

Would I tell you if I was?

Hey,

Ashley, how's it going?

Not so bad, theme pole.

I'm still thinking things didn't go so well with your boyfriend.

Listen, you tell Pete when he gets back from boot camp, he better be prepared to

fight.

Because, you see, he's home.

Pete got mauled by a bear. Door's unlocked.

Oh. Oh, wow, Pete. God, you really are hurt.

Are you okay?

I'm oozing.

Oh, God.

You're so brave.

Let me take a look at those bandages.

Oh. Oh, they need to be changed.

Thanks, you see. It's nice to know that somebody around here cares about me.

Shouldn't you be doing that quickly?

Oh, no, no, no, no, no. I have to activate the pain receptors to help with

healing process.

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. Wait, wait, wait, wait. You know what?

When I was little and my mom used to take off my Band -Aid, she used to sing

a little song.

No.

Ow!

What do you say we just chat instead?

Okay. Ow, ow!

You, um, how you jokingly told Nomar that I was having an affair with Ferg?

That Nomar, he's got a great sense of humor, doesn't he?

Oh, no, he doesn't.

Well, now he doesn't trust me anymore, and you can't have a relationship

trust, so we broke up all because of... You!

No!

Come on.

Let's go for a walk, little doggie.

What are you thinking?

I think that these wounds need a little splash of rubbing alcohol.

Bird,

would you keep looking? We have to find these pictures. I'm sorry. I'm not used

to seeing myself in a suit. I'm delicious.

You did good work.

You should see my pornography.

Not the arty stuff, just good old -fashioned nasty.

Whoa,

whoa, not in front of the lady, okay? I'll just take your card.

I can't find them. I've been through every proof sheet from your wedding, and

cannot find the ones... Wait a minute, wait a minute.

Weren't you the one wearing her as a necklace?

I like to accessorize.

Those pictures made my private collection.

What? There we go.

This is a dog licking himself.

What's the matter? You don't like dogs?

Yeah, here's the one.

Okay, all right. This is it. This is it. Here's the money.

Negatives are inside.

All right. No one can ever see these pictures again.

Well, you might want to check with the bride and groom. I left a copy of the

proofs with them this morning.

But they're on their honeymoon.

Yeah, I know. I picked the lock.

I had some breakfast.

Oh, God. Come on. Let's go. Okay. Well, thank you, sir.

You know, I've never met a pornographer before. You're not at all what I

expected. Thanks.

Hey, pull your pants down. I'll take your picture.

Okay, now, when you say meaningless, you still mean it was good, right?

Oh, no, no!

I'm okay.

I'm okay.

I got it. I got it.

No.

Okay, hold right there!

Oh, good, you're home!

What are you doing? You scared us half to death!

You're scared?

Feel my heart.

Why are you back from your honeymoon?

Came home early.

Just looking through the mail.

Oh, nothing for me.

You know what it is? My mail doesn't come here.

Oh, look.

Here's one for you, Berg.

Right. Oh, well, we're off.

No, no, no, no, no. That's not yours. This is the proofs to our wedding

pictures. Wait, wait, wait, wait. What?

How could you throw our wedding pictures in the trash?

Johnny.

Irene's nuts.

She's one tangled piece of string. Okay, stop it, Kirk.

The truth is, cameras are instruments of the devil.

But you were pumping gas.

You know what? I'm not the one who started this fight, okay?

I'm not the one who was eating cashews out of the mini bar. Why not just eat

quarters?

Is money all that you care about?

I suppose all you remember about our honeymoon is that I bought an overpriced

chocolate bar.

So you admit they're overpriced.

Sharon, I never want you to feel like that.

I'm just a little strap for cash.

Truth is, I spent a lot of money on your wedding present.

I'll show you.

Here.

Johnny!

finally showed up to nurse her man, my devoted girlfriend.

Oh, come on. I came down as soon as I could.

There you go.

So how are you feeling, huh?

How do I feel?

Well, here's a hint.

I was just savagely mauled by a huge bear.

Oh, come on. It wasn't that big. Yeah, you should have seen him.

going to be okay.

No, no. The important thing is that we're there for each other when a crisis

occurs. Pete, you got a couple of scratches.

Don't be such a baby.

Oh, I'm... You are... You're the baby.

Pete, I knew you were okay. I mean, if you weren't, the guys at the camp would

have been making jokes about it.

What kind of jokes?

I don't remember.

What kind of joke?

I don't know. A dumb joke.

Like what's faster than a baby bear?

What? Now, Pete.

That's a joke?

Well, it was funny over the loudspeaker.

So this is why you haven't called or visited me? Because you're too busy

it up at my expense? No, I haven't...

because I've been working my butt off trying to fulfill my life's dream.

And it's not going very well. But you're too busy to notice because you're Mr.

Hot Shot Fireman.

What?

Um, I'm sorry. Did I come in a bad time?

No. Where are you going? Back to camp.

Morning.

Why are you still here?

Well, I... I came down to...

Change your bandages.

What, do they need them?

No, but I needed some cheering up.

I don't get it. I don't get it. Is it wrong to expect my girlfriend to be here

for me when I need her?

No, Pete, it's not wrong. Okay, and just assume you didn't mock me, Ashley.

No, Pete, I'm not.

Look, we put a lot of faith in the people we love, and sometimes they let

down.

And maybe it's a one -time thing, or maybe that's who they really are.

And I guess what we have to decide is, do we want to stick around to find out?

Yeah.

Thanks, Ashley.

It's a shame your opinion holds no value to me.

What's that smell?

It's our future, baby.

Okay, open them.

I spent our life savings on this house.

make me cry?

Are you crying because you're an idiot? Because that's why I'm crying.

What? The place is just, it's a mess.

I mean, the stairs are a death trap and the walls are

definitely

not up to code.

I know it looks a little worn now, but look, it used to be a palace.

This is our house 200 years ago.

People peed outside.

I can make it look like this again. I have a schedule. I'll be done by

Christmas. This Christmas?

Absolutely.

Or next.

Tony, I still think I should have seen it before you bought it. You did.

Do you remember our second date?

We were driving past an old Victorian row house, and you said how great it

be if somebody bought it and fixed it up.

No, no, no, somebody bought that and fixed it up.

And we can do the same.

You know, princesses don't live in basements.

They live in castles.

Chance, we all make this your castle, I promise.

Oh, God, Tommy.

You're just a sweet, romantic idiot.

I love you.

I love you.

Johnny, baby?

There's a rat eating a dead pigeon in our castle.

Yeah, in our castle.

Hey. Hi.

Doing laundry. Reading the paper.

Okay, then.

Wow.

It's quite a day, huh? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

But still, you know, it was fun.

It was odd, but fun.

Well, that's me.

Hey,

you know, I think that Sharon actually bought that whole devil camera thing.

Yeah, definitely. Hey, Irene, that was just a thing, right?

It's not about me being nuts.

I wasn't sure you'd quite pick up on that.

Yeah, well, it was well worth it. You know, it's not every day that two people

get a chance to erase the biggest mistake of their lives.

Yeah, definitely.

Definitely. We got off lucky, didn't we? There.

Tiger.

Is it so wrong?

I think the tiger winked at me.