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Ashley. Hi, Berg.
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I did it.
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I broke up with Justin.
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What? Well, during the storm, I got
scared, and I started thinking about
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could happen and how short life is and
who I wanted to be with, and it wasn't
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Justin. It was you.
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God, Berg.
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I've missed you.
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Anyway, I've got to get back to the
hospital.
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This is going to be wonderful.
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I can't believe this.
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What did Ashley have to show up just
after I met Vanita?
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After all we've been through, how do I
just break her heart?
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After the six months of hell Ashley put
you through, I vote for not gently.
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Ashley? No, no, I have to break it up
with Vanita.
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What? Didn't you see?
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Mama finally came home.
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What are you talking about?
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Benita's great. She's wonderful.
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And best of all, she's not Ashley.
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Pete. Look, Bert, I think what Pete
means to say is Ashley is the devil.
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Hey. Okay.
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She's not the devil.
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Maybe she just works for him like a
subcontractor.
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It's different now. That's when she was
with Justin.
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Okay. Bert, you know what you need?
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You need a little reenactment.
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Sharon. Would you like to play the part
of Ashley?
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Oh, yes.
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No.
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Yes.
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No.
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I'm getting into character.
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And, Berg, I'll be you.
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Ashley, I love you. I must have you.
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Oh, Berg, me too.
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I can't see you anymore.
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Are you mad at me?
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I could never be mad at you.
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Ashley, you're... the best.
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Thank you. Thank you.
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It so isn't me.
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Why do you not pause like that in the
middle of my sentences?
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Yes, you do.
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Okay, fine, but at least I don't wave my
arms in the air whenever I get
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frustrated.
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I don't do that. Yeah, you do. No, I
don't. You do. Okay, you know, fine.
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But, Ferg, what we're trying to say is
you risked your life to meet Vanita, and
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it paid off. At least you could see it
through.
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Vanita is everything a guy could want.
Of course I should keep dating her. Oh,
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good.
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On the nights I'm not out with Ashley.
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Hey, Sharon.
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Hello? I called you 15 times during the
storm. Least you could do is let a guy
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know that you're okay.
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I'm okay.
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Okay.
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Look, can we talk?
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Listen,
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I've been thinking about what you said.
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You're the only one I want to be with. I
don't have any feelings for Sean.
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Really? Are you sure you don't need more
time?
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Hey, hey!
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We're not done with that.
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I couldn't be more sure.
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Shannon, when we kiss, it's like it's
magic.
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It's nothing at all like kissing Sean.
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You kiss Sean?
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00:04:31,100 --> 00:04:33,460
Well, you told me to see if there's
something there, and there's nothing
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But you kiss Sean.
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And felt nothing.
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You should be happy.
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Do I look happy?
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A little.
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You just don't get it, do you?
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00:04:47,490 --> 00:04:48,850
No. You know what? I don't.
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You tell me to do something and I do it
and now you're mad at me?
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What do you want from me? Nothing.
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Fine. You know what? That I can do.
Good. Good. Great. Great. See ya.
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Can you believe him?
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You know, I wasn't really listening.
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00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:07,780
Okay, so he kissed Sean.
83
00:05:08,100 --> 00:05:12,100
Yes, he kissed Sean. Why doesn't he
understand that that could bother me?
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00:05:12,100 --> 00:05:17,140
he could be more understanding if you
told him about how you and I kissed.
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00:05:17,480 --> 00:05:20,860
I told you, I don't want to talk about
that with you. And I certainly don't
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to talk about it with him. Why?
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00:05:23,380 --> 00:05:24,380
What, you listening?
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He kissed Sean!
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that I have some bad news.
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00:05:37,790 --> 00:05:38,930
We're out of Ritalin.
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00:05:42,410 --> 00:05:43,970
Just kidding.
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00:05:46,630 --> 00:05:50,330
Hey, Robbie, you're looking good. What
do you got, a hot date tonight?
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00:05:50,590 --> 00:05:55,090
I thought maybe I'd spill my dinner all
over myself and score a sponge bath.
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The student has become the master.
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00:06:00,210 --> 00:06:01,210
Hey, here.
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00:06:01,870 --> 00:06:04,010
Hey. Hey, how you doing?
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Glad you came by.
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00:06:12,820 --> 00:06:16,320
You ran out so fast, we didn't get a
chance to make a date. How about dinner
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00:06:16,320 --> 00:06:17,320
tonight?
100
00:06:17,860 --> 00:06:21,820
Tonight? Tonight, no good, actually. How
about tomorrow?
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Perfect. I'll tell Justin we're breaking
up. Great.
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00:06:25,080 --> 00:06:26,080
What?
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00:06:26,700 --> 00:06:30,340
You told me you left him. I did. He just
doesn't know it yet.
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Oh, well, could you maybe do me a favor
and, I don't know, tell him before our
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date? Of course.
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What kind of a girl do you think I am?
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I'm just remembering.
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I'll see you tomorrow night.
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00:06:47,180 --> 00:06:49,880
Excuse me, I'm looking for Michael
Bergen. Oh, yeah, sure. He's right over
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there. Oh, thank you.
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Berg?
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Vanita? Who?
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Very nice.
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Yeah.
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Jella!
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I came early. I wanted to see where you
were.
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Well, you know what? Actually, you came
at a great time. I was just about to
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entertain the kids. The balloon guy blew
up.
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No. No, literally.
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All right, kids, which impressions do
you want to see first?
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Bring back the balloon guy.
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What's that?
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Sean Connery?
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Let me tell you about the Chicago way.
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Hey, hey, don't throw a pantyhose.
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a little circle for me, huh?
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Little ones in the front, huh?
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Listen, my name's Vanita, and when I was
a little girl and I wasn't feeling so
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great, my mom used to sing me this song.
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It teaches us a little something about
life and ourselves.
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So, can you all clap along with me, huh?
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Like this?
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Good?
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00:08:09,300 --> 00:08:10,620
You gotta know...
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Know when to hold them.
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Know when to fold them.
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Know when to walk away.
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And know when to run.
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Don't play number one and keep playing
number two.
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You know what? I think you might be
right.
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I like the way she sings, but I love the
way she moves.
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Do it until I find a new apartment.
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Listen, um, Sharon doesn't know I'm
here, but, um, I thought if I came down
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explained a couple of things, it might
help you two get back together. No, no,
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it's hopeless.
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You know, I did what she wanted, but
she's still mad at me. Try putting
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in her shoes.
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You know, let's say she... And this is
just off the top of my head.
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00:09:03,510 --> 00:09:06,670
What if Sharon kissed a really close
friend, too?
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00:09:08,430 --> 00:09:11,130
Sharon would never do that. Yeah, but
say she did.
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What are you trying to say? She did.
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What do you mean?
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Sharon kissed... a person.
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Damn it.
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Johnny, calm down.
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It was Berg, wasn't it? No, maybe.
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He's dead.
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No, wait, Johnny.
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What? You can't kill Berg.
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It was me.
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What was you?
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I'm the guy Sharon kissed.
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No, no, no, you're just covering for
him. No, no, Johnny, Johnny, I'm not
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covering for him.
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It was me.
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00:10:01,810 --> 00:10:03,210
Please, don't put all your weight into
it.
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What? What's so funny?
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I thought she kissed Berg, but it was
you.
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And?
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You know, your pee.
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What's that supposed to mean?
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Is she out of shape with you?
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She is not, Johnny. I kissed your woman.
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So I hear.
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Wait a minute, wait a minute.
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How come you were so upset when you
thought it was Burke?
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That's true, I was.
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Now I see why she was so upset with me.
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Thanks,
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Pete. Thank you.
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What?
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No, no, no, no, no, no!
183
00:11:08,280 --> 00:11:11,040
No, you're not supposed to be thanking
me. You're supposed to be hitting me.
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Come here.
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Don't kiss my woman!
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Don't kiss my woman!
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Hey, Ashley.
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Hey, Berg. You're early.
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We need to talk.
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Have you spoken to Justin? Yeah, this
morning.
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He started to cry.
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This is really awkward.
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Maybe you should just come right out and
say it.
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00:11:43,950 --> 00:11:47,670
Uh... I met this woman.
195
00:11:48,510 --> 00:11:51,590
I thought I could date both of you at
once, but of course that wouldn't be
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to either of you. And I realized that I
have a much healthier relationship with
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her.
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00:12:00,070 --> 00:12:01,770
So I'm afraid it's over between us.
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I understand.
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No.
201
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What do you mean, no?
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00:12:11,240 --> 00:12:12,780
I mean, no. I veto you.
203
00:12:14,560 --> 00:12:16,180
You can't veto me. I'm not Congress.
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I just did. I can't afford to give up on
our relationship that easily.
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00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:23,460
Yeah, you can. You have to respect my
choice.
206
00:12:24,320 --> 00:12:25,740
No. Stop saying that.
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00:12:26,980 --> 00:12:30,160
When I was dating Justin and I told you
that I wasn't available, did you give
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00:12:30,160 --> 00:12:34,420
up? For what it's worth, I totally
appreciate how wrong that was to fake
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You saw something special, and you knew
that you couldn't afford to let it slip
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through your fingers just because of bad
timing.
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00:12:41,190 --> 00:12:43,430
Okay, now you're forcing me to be mean.
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What we had, it was sick.
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It was an obsession, and it is over.
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I never want to see you again.
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00:12:55,930 --> 00:12:57,110
That really hurts.
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00:12:58,330 --> 00:12:59,330
But no.
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00:13:06,440 --> 00:13:07,440
Where's Berg?
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00:13:07,680 --> 00:13:08,760
Med school. Good.
219
00:13:09,360 --> 00:13:13,180
Johnny just called. I can't believe you
told him about Valentine's Day. I was
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00:13:13,180 --> 00:13:14,180
trying to help.
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00:13:14,500 --> 00:13:17,320
Besides, you wouldn't talk to me about
it, so I had to talk to somebody.
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00:13:17,760 --> 00:13:18,960
Then get a therapist!
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00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:24,740
God, you were so lucky he wasn't upset.
If that was Berg, psh, we'd have killed
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00:13:24,740 --> 00:13:27,700
him. Yeah, I know, I know. He gave me
noogies.
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00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:29,960
Who hit you?
226
00:13:30,140 --> 00:13:33,700
You know, I just, I have a real problem
with Johnny not having a problem with
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00:13:33,700 --> 00:13:34,700
me.
228
00:13:35,420 --> 00:13:36,760
That's because you're a sweet guy.
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00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:38,080
You have morals. You're trustworthy.
230
00:13:38,340 --> 00:13:41,920
Face it, Pete. You're a wonderful
person. That is a horrible thing to say.
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00:13:42,860 --> 00:13:46,240
I'm not a wonderful person, Sharon. I am
walking testosterone.
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00:13:46,780 --> 00:13:47,780
I am a dog.
233
00:13:48,460 --> 00:13:50,300
Yes, a cute puppy dog.
234
00:13:52,940 --> 00:13:55,300
So what, does this mean that you and
Johnny are back together?
235
00:13:55,860 --> 00:13:57,760
No way. He kissed Sean.
236
00:13:58,080 --> 00:13:59,100
I didn't do anything wrong.
237
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Yes, you did. Yes, you did. You kissed
me.
238
00:14:02,200 --> 00:14:04,740
Yes. And you were very, very wrong.
239
00:14:11,590 --> 00:14:13,010
It's Ashley. She's following me.
240
00:14:14,430 --> 00:14:15,430
What?
241
00:14:15,750 --> 00:14:19,530
Today at school, there were balloons
tied to my desk. When I opened my
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it was completely filled with rose
petals that she'd pushed through the
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slots.
244
00:14:23,510 --> 00:14:25,090
Do you know how long that must have
taken?
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00:14:26,330 --> 00:14:29,650
Wait a second. I thought yesterday was
the big day you were going to break up
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with her.
247
00:14:30,550 --> 00:14:31,550
It didn't take.
248
00:14:33,650 --> 00:14:36,010
I've got a date with Vanita tonight. How
am I going to shake Ashley?
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00:14:36,390 --> 00:14:37,570
I'll tell you what not to do.
250
00:14:37,890 --> 00:14:40,650
Don't have her kiss me because I won't
make her jealous because I'm not a
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00:14:40,650 --> 00:14:41,650
threat.
252
00:14:46,510 --> 00:14:49,350
You could put on my lab coat and walk
around the block as my decoy.
253
00:14:49,770 --> 00:14:50,770
You're being paranoid.
254
00:14:50,950 --> 00:14:51,950
No, no, I'm not being paranoid.
255
00:14:52,250 --> 00:14:53,730
Okay, she's doing everything I did.
256
00:14:54,050 --> 00:14:57,930
And if I know me the way I think I do,
then she's going to be waiting, right?
257
00:14:58,170 --> 00:14:59,170
Who's Vanita?
258
00:15:06,810 --> 00:15:09,930
Oh, Herb, what a unique and out -of -the
-way play.
259
00:15:10,370 --> 00:15:11,490
It was a great idea.
260
00:15:11,970 --> 00:15:14,830
I always come here when I want to get
away from the traffic, you know, the
261
00:15:14,830 --> 00:15:15,830
noise.
262
00:15:16,609 --> 00:15:17,609
People.
263
00:15:18,230 --> 00:15:19,230
So romantic.
264
00:15:20,130 --> 00:15:21,270
Here's your champagne, sir.
265
00:15:22,050 --> 00:15:25,030
Thank you, but I think you have the
wrong table. We didn't order any.
266
00:15:25,410 --> 00:15:26,990
It's compliments of the lady at the bar.
267
00:15:29,790 --> 00:15:30,790
Oh, God.
268
00:15:32,070 --> 00:15:33,450
Isn't that the girl from the hospital?
269
00:15:34,110 --> 00:15:37,090
Yeah, she's the one I told you about,
the one I had the sick relationship
270
00:15:37,130 --> 00:15:39,050
Well, I broke it off with her, and now
she won't leave me alone.
271
00:15:39,870 --> 00:15:41,230
What, you mean she's following us?
272
00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:44,940
Why would someone chase after someone
who doesn't want them?
273
00:15:45,160 --> 00:15:46,360
I have no idea.
274
00:15:47,720 --> 00:15:51,220
Let's call her over here. I really don't
think that's a good idea. Why not?
275
00:15:51,320 --> 00:15:53,240
Relax. We're all adults here. No.
276
00:15:53,560 --> 00:15:55,040
You're pretty much the only one.
277
00:15:56,480 --> 00:15:58,840
Hi. Thank you very much for the
champagne.
278
00:15:59,060 --> 00:16:02,960
We weren't properly introduced at the
hospital. My name is Vanita. Hi. I'm
279
00:16:02,960 --> 00:16:03,960
Ashley. Ashley.
280
00:16:05,100 --> 00:16:09,720
I'm sorry, but as you can see, I'm here
with Vanita. And we're very happy
281
00:16:09,720 --> 00:16:11,520
together because she's the one I've...
282
00:16:12,130 --> 00:16:13,370
chosen to be with.
283
00:16:14,670 --> 00:16:15,730
I hope you understand.
284
00:16:16,010 --> 00:16:19,410
Oh, I understand, but you have to
understand that I broke up with my
285
00:16:19,410 --> 00:16:20,249
for Berg.
286
00:16:20,250 --> 00:16:23,410
Well, you can't really hold Berg
responsible for that. Well, actually I
287
00:16:23,410 --> 00:16:26,190
because he said he wouldn't go out with
me unless I broke up with my boyfriend.
288
00:16:26,430 --> 00:16:27,430
That was ancient history.
289
00:16:27,650 --> 00:16:28,650
It was yesterday.
290
00:16:30,790 --> 00:16:34,810
You made a date with her yesterday after
you told me she was out of your life?
291
00:16:35,050 --> 00:16:36,530
Well, there's a very simple explanation.
292
00:16:37,390 --> 00:16:38,390
Need a sec.
293
00:16:44,410 --> 00:16:45,410
Okay.
294
00:16:46,070 --> 00:16:47,150
I chose you.
295
00:16:48,070 --> 00:16:51,530
But then Ashley showed up, and I made a
date with both of you. Only, I saw how
296
00:16:51,530 --> 00:16:55,150
wonderful you were with those kids at
the hospital, so I canceled my date with
297
00:16:55,150 --> 00:16:56,290
Ashley, and I chose you.
298
00:16:57,050 --> 00:17:01,090
Again. So, if you think about it, I
actually chose you twice, which is twice
299
00:17:01,090 --> 00:17:02,290
many times as I chose her.
300
00:17:05,109 --> 00:17:06,530
Yeah, I think that was pretty good.
301
00:17:09,230 --> 00:17:10,829
Goodbye, Bert. But you win!
302
00:17:11,920 --> 00:17:14,020
No, I win, because I'm leaving.
303
00:17:18,800 --> 00:17:19,800
Happy? Huh?
304
00:17:20,900 --> 00:17:25,900
Are you happy? I had a chance for a
normal, healthy relationship, and you go
305
00:17:25,900 --> 00:17:31,260
ruin it. Oh, oh, God. I am so, so sorry.
I broke up your 35 -second
306
00:17:31,260 --> 00:17:32,260
relationship.
307
00:17:33,980 --> 00:17:37,260
You broke up my relationship with
Justin, and we've been together for four
308
00:17:37,260 --> 00:17:38,320
years. Yeah.
309
00:17:38,680 --> 00:17:41,660
Well, Justin deserves a medal for
staying with you that long.
310
00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:47,440
I can't stand you. I loathe you. I
despise you. I hate you. I can get us a
311
00:17:47,500 --> 00:17:48,500
I can drive.
312
00:17:54,480 --> 00:17:55,520
Hi, Pete. Whatever.
313
00:17:56,820 --> 00:17:59,840
Whatever? God, how much longer are you
going to continue this?
314
00:18:00,940 --> 00:18:05,700
Well, you know what? Now that you
brought it up, I'd like to talk about
315
00:18:05,700 --> 00:18:06,700
kiss.
316
00:18:06,720 --> 00:18:07,720
Please.
317
00:18:10,310 --> 00:18:11,310
Okay. Okay?
318
00:18:11,970 --> 00:18:12,970
Okay. Okay.
319
00:18:14,270 --> 00:18:19,770
If I'm not a threat to Johnny, does that
mean that our kiss meant nothing to
320
00:18:19,770 --> 00:18:20,770
you?
321
00:18:21,330 --> 00:18:23,510
I can't talk about that.
322
00:18:23,770 --> 00:18:27,990
Come on. Look, I'm trying to salvage
what I have with Johnny. I can't
323
00:18:27,990 --> 00:18:31,430
matters by wondering if you and I are
more than what we have been.
324
00:18:33,550 --> 00:18:35,430
So you're saying that it might have
meant something?
325
00:18:37,100 --> 00:18:38,100
It meant something.
326
00:18:38,620 --> 00:18:41,160
How could it not, Pete? You mean the
world to me.
327
00:18:42,640 --> 00:18:43,640
Thank you.
328
00:18:44,720 --> 00:18:48,020
Pete? What the hell are you doing?
329
00:18:48,500 --> 00:18:51,600
Oh, what? No, no, no. No, no, no, no. I
thought I could trust you.
330
00:18:52,140 --> 00:18:56,840
You're such a jerk. I can't believe I
ever went out with you.
331
00:18:57,540 --> 00:19:02,360
Are you okay?
332
00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:04,620
Yeah, yeah.
333
00:19:05,100 --> 00:19:06,100
Are you sure?
334
00:19:06,200 --> 00:19:07,200
Yeah.
335
00:19:10,039 --> 00:19:11,340
One was free, pal.
336
00:19:12,880 --> 00:19:14,280
The next one you pay for.
337
00:19:18,740 --> 00:19:23,620
Now, if you'll excuse me, my laundry's
dry, and if I don't fold it right away,
338
00:19:23,700 --> 00:19:24,700
it'll wrinkle.
339
00:19:32,240 --> 00:19:36,880
Do you think he bought it? No, he bought
it.
340
00:19:39,240 --> 00:19:41,320
down and helping me with Pete. You
didn't have to do that.
341
00:19:44,480 --> 00:19:46,760
Look, Sharon, how long are we going to
keep on going like this?
342
00:19:47,660 --> 00:19:51,520
I'm sorry I kissed Sean. Look, Johnny,
it's not about that. Well, then tell me
343
00:19:51,520 --> 00:19:53,880
what it's about. I just don't think it
would change anything. Try me.
344
00:19:55,700 --> 00:19:56,700
All right.
345
00:20:02,820 --> 00:20:04,180
On Valentine's Day...
346
00:20:04,919 --> 00:20:08,980
When I asked you if there was something
between you and Sean, why couldn't you
347
00:20:08,980 --> 00:20:09,980
say no right away?
348
00:20:10,040 --> 00:20:11,640
I told you because I wasn't sure.
349
00:20:11,860 --> 00:20:13,300
Even if you weren't sure?
350
00:20:13,500 --> 00:20:18,140
Even if you only mostly thought you
wanted to be with me? Couldn't you have
351
00:20:18,140 --> 00:20:19,960
least given me the benefit of the doubt?
352
00:20:20,200 --> 00:20:20,959
I'm sorry.
353
00:20:20,960 --> 00:20:24,840
Johnny, do you know how much that hurt
me? I never want to hurt you.
354
00:20:25,660 --> 00:20:28,640
But I never want to lie to you either.
And that's why you can believe me when I
355
00:20:28,640 --> 00:20:31,520
tell you you are the only girl that I
want to be with.
356
00:20:34,730 --> 00:20:35,730
believe you.
357
00:20:36,310 --> 00:20:37,310
Ow, my hand.
358
00:20:37,430 --> 00:20:39,130
Oh, it's swelling.
359
00:20:39,510 --> 00:20:41,150
Yeah, well, Pete's got a face like
concrete.
360
00:20:42,710 --> 00:20:44,430
Don't care. We'll put some ice on it.
361
00:20:44,810 --> 00:20:45,970
Really? Yeah.
362
00:20:46,530 --> 00:20:49,470
And we'll swing by your flea bait motel
and pick up your stuff.
363
00:20:50,310 --> 00:20:53,670
Great. Ow, my hand. Remember? Yeah, I
remember.
364
00:21:06,120 --> 00:21:07,120
What are you looking at?
365
00:21:10,680 --> 00:21:11,940
Yeah, that's right. I kissed her.
366
00:21:13,320 --> 00:21:14,440
I kissed your woman.
367
00:21:17,960 --> 00:21:19,000
You know what she said?
368
00:21:19,740 --> 00:21:22,140
At last, kissed by a real man.
369
00:21:24,760 --> 00:21:25,760
Yeah, that's right.
370
00:21:26,060 --> 00:21:27,060
That's right.
371
00:21:27,100 --> 00:21:28,100
What? What?
372
00:21:29,180 --> 00:21:30,200
You want a piece of me?
373
00:21:31,720 --> 00:21:33,120
You want a piece of this?
374
00:21:36,110 --> 00:21:37,110
Come on.
375
00:21:37,890 --> 00:21:38,950
Give me your best shot.
26586
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