Original subtitles

How many times do I have to tell you not to steal my paper?

Three more times.

I need the business section.

Bert, give me the business section.

Hey, Ferret, you want the business section?

There's an article in my dad's construction company.

Oh, here it is, here it is.

Gregory Carter.

Ah, that's my dad.

Expert in urban renewal will give Boston's historic theaters a facelift.

Oh, my God, there's a whole biography on him. Hey, go, Dad.

Where's my name? Where's my name?

Family. family. Here it is. He is the proud father of three.

Daughter Elizabeth is the top -level executive at Bigford Consulting. Ah!

my sister!

According to Berg, it's your pregnant sister.

It was an honest mistake.

She was wearing a baggy sweater.

Son Todd is the successful vice president at the brokerage firm of

Antonotti. That's my brother.

And he has another daughter, Sharon.

Ah! That's you!

I like it. It was

nice and to the point.

Elizabeth, top -level executive.

Todd, successful VP.

And Sharon?

Why didn't he mention what I do for a living?

What father?

Wouldn't be proud of a daughter who has such a high -level position in a

company. I mean, you're even quoted in the paper today.

Our chemical company did not have any responsibility for the sudden increase

two -headed fish.

Oh, my God.

That's it. He's ashamed of me.

He refurbishes neighborhoods.

I breed circus fish.

Enough is enough. I've got to get a new job.

Having twins. Tell her to stop eating!

Hey, Karen!

Mr. Carter! Hey!

Hey, Pete.

All right, Berg.

We just came down to invite you two to dinner tonight to toast the new director

of marketing for Anne Nivelle Fashion. You got the job?

Dad, I didn't get it yet. I'm waiting to hear. Ah, you got it. You said they

loved you.

Well, they did.

Remember when you ran for Brookville Junior Miss and you didn't think you'd

the talent competition?

Dad. No one will ever do the robot like you did.

Dad.

Really? Yeah, come on, do it, do it.

No, go ahead.

Yeah, come on, honey, come on.

I got a meeting to go to. I'll pick you guys up at 8 o 'clock in the park.

See you, Dad.

I want ties.

Lobster. Ties.

See you tonight.

I'm so proud of you.

Bye,

Daddy. Bye -bye.

See that?

He hasn't gushed like that since I graduated.

He's so happy I'm finally going to be working for an ethical company.

I don't think you're giving your father enough credit. I think he's just happy

because you're happy.

Wrong. In my family, you are what you do.

My dad gave up a successful real estate development company and completely

started over because he didn't like the people he was dealing with.

My dad expects a lot from us.

Good thing you're not in that family, huh, Pete?

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. This is it.

Hello?

This is she.

Thank you. I love you guys, too.

What?

No, that's not true.

There must be some clerical error. I will go down there and straighten it out

immediately. Just don't give my job away.

Thank you.

What's going on?

They were doing a routine check on my resume, and Taff said I never graduated.

Yes, you did.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Look, see?

I'm going over to the registrar's office. All right, do you want company?

I'll get the car. Okay.

You don't think this is about... No.

But I'm going to go with her just in case.

She must never find out what happened graduation day.

She never will.

I

really appreciate

you coming with me.

Oh, come on, Cher. You know you come before my busy schedule.

You're taping General Hospital for me, right?

Yes.

Well, I... I gotta find out if Luke or Stefan pushed Catherine off the balcony.

This is so frustrating.

They said I was perfect for that job. That's what they said, perfect.

They said I was friendly and fun, and I'm gonna tear this woman's head off.

Ah,

look at him.

Look at him, so naive.

So unprepared for what awaits them.

Wasting three years of their lives going down the wrong career path.

Only to find yourself working in the same pizza place for minimum wage day

day. Puppet, you're all puppets.

Thanks.

Name? Sharon Carter.

Listen, I had this very important job interview today. And they called me up

told me I never graduated.

Well, look at this.

with unpaid parking tickets and they held your diploma.

No, no, no, no, no. I paid them. I remember paying them. Pete, don't you

remember me paying them? Yes, she paid them.

Oh, well, I can't tell you what a difference that doesn't make.

Listen, I don't have time for this. Can I please, Supervisor?

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Now is no time to stand on principle, okay? Just pay them again.

How bad could it be?

Oh, my Lord.

Tickets with interest plus penalties.

Whatever. Just take care of it.

At least you're getting airline miles.

Now we can all fly free to Saturn.

Okay, you're all set. Just sign here.

Congratulations. You're now just three English credits shy of graduation.

What are you talking about? I have enough credits.

Not anymore.

Requirements have changed.

Well, what am I supposed to do now?

You're in luck.

Night classes in freshman English start this evening.

I can't retake freshman English again.

You know what?

That's redundant. You don't need to say again.

What?

When you say retake, the again is implied.

Well, I'm not wrong.

What happened?

Luke pushed Catherine.

Was Sharon not graduating?

Oh, oh, oh. It was the parking tickets. No, no, no, no. But Sharon thinks that

the school screwed up.

And she has to retake freshman English.

But we're cool, right?

She must never find out.

She never will.

Over the next few weeks you will not only understand the parts of a sentence

you'll be able to diagram one on your own.

One more hour and we are graduates.

All right, okay, hey, this is it. All right, let's go. Come on. Wait, wait,

wait, wait. Picture, picture.

Oh, hey, I need my cap.

What's it worth to you?

Actually, caps are free today.

Oh, gosh. Hey, you guys dropped off the money I gave you for my parking tickets,

right? Absolutely.

All $210 taken care of.

Boy, are they paid.

Thank you, Pete.

What do you say we do this right, huh? Ooh, champagne.

Yes.

What would you do if you were young and beautiful and had a big bottle of

champagne?

You'd share it with your closest friends, and that's just what they did.

Wow, that's expensive stuff. How'd you guys afford it? Can you believe that

girl actually gave it to him?

All right, cheers.

Here's to graduation, or as I like to call it, getting out of jail.

Can someone give me a sentence with a subject, a verb, and an adjective?

I'm going to tear Pete and Berg's heads off their binly little necks.

Sheriff? Hey, Sheriff.

Which one of you wants to die first?

Actually, you know, we're going to go together.

We have this sort of Thelma and Louise pact.

Graduation day.

You took the money I gave you to pay for my parking tickets and bought

champagne. Admit it. We would never do that. Some girl gave us that champagne.

Who? I don't know.

Oh, yeah. Some girl, you don't know, gave you a $200 bottle of champagne?

Yes.

Admit you did it. For tonight at dinner, I'm going to tell my father that you

two squandered the thousands of dollars he spent to get me through college on a

bottle of champagne.

Well, I had to tell my father I squandered thousands of dollars in booze

me through college.

I think she's serious.

It's been three years. Let's just tell her the truth. No, no, no, no. Look, we

made a promise.

So what are we going to do?

The first thing I'm going to do is put her newspaper back under her door.

All right.

Five more hours and we are graduates.

Hey, guys. Hey.

I need your help. I have like 800 things to do. today.

Pick up my robe, sell back books, pay my parking tickets, get my nails done, and

be back here by noon to have lunch with my dad. No problem. Um, I'll have lunch

with your dad, and Pete'll get his nails done.

Oh, Bird, sharing up to our allowance. Yippee!

It's to pay for my parking tickets. Why are you paying in cash?

Because my checks and credit cards go to my father's accountant, and I don't, I

don't want my dad to know I screwed up.

All right, well, we'll drop it off for you.

I wanted to say goodbye to the campus police anyhow.

meet you guys back here after lunch, and we'll go to graduation together?

All right. All right.

A lot of money.

Oh, yeah. I forget. Did she say parking tickets were dog -cracked?

I don't recall.

What do you boys feel like doing?

Oh, Mellie. Berg. The presidents want to have...

It's open.

Hi, hi, hi, hi. It's me. Hey, hey.

God, I can't believe you guys are graduating. This place is not going to

same without you. Well, thank you. Here, a little going -away present.

Mike, good luck. Whoa, whoa, this is expensive stuff. Yeah.

Thank you. Well, you guys are worth it.

God, I'm going to miss you.

Whoa.

Come here. All right.

Okay. All right. We're going to miss you, too.

Bye -bye.

Absolutely no idea.

All right, come on, Bert.

Better get these parking tickets taken care of. Yeah, yeah.

Handlebars. You can't call handlebars inside.

Handlebars. Look, I just did it again.

Hello?

Hey, how you doing?

What? Why?

Why, why, what, what, what?

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God, what?

All right, look, Pete and I are on our way.

We're on our way where? Jail.

Which one of our bonehead friends got arrested this time?

Sharon's dad.

Hi, uh, we're here to bail out Gregory Carter.

Carter? What's the charge?

Drunk in public.

Okay, I need a signature and $200.

Well, we'll use Sharon's money, but we don't pay her parking ticket.

Excuse me?

Oh, it's campus police.

We've still got ten extra dollars. What can we do with ten dollars?

We could buy Mr.

Carter some Advil.

Right this way.

Your appearance date is on your arrest report.

Berg, thanks for coming. I didn't know who else to call. No problem.

I guess I had too many Long Island iced teas on an empty stomach.

Evidently, I've passed out on a McDonald's playland.

Since when does McDonald's serve Long Island iced teas?

Mr. Carter, if it's not too rude to ask, we need to ask you for the bail money

back. Yeah, sure, of course. I'll send you a check tomorrow.

Actually, we kind of need it now in cash.

Well, I'm sorry I don't have it on me. There's an ATM right around the corner.

Look, guys, I'm in a little bit of trouble.

Actually, a lot of trouble. I'm completely broke.

What? How?

Bottom fell out of the real estate market. I lost everything.

The creditors came after me. The whole thing was a mess.

So that's why you called us and not Sharon.

I didn't want her to know.

I just didn't want to see that look on her face.

But it's probably time I told her. No, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Mr.

Carter, you don't have to do that. She's going to find out eventually.

Not necessarily.

No.

We lie to her all the time.

Mr. Carter, you just, you hit a rough spot, all right? All you got to do is

things around.

Yeah, but I got to start over from scratch.

You can do that.

Look, Sharon says you're an amazing businessman, and that's why she idolizes

you. Yeah.

I guess I probably should at least try before I tell her, huh?

Why make her feel all upset if I don't have to?

I think that drinking sure isn't working.

No, it sure isn't.

So, this will just stay between us?

between us.

We promise.

No matter what.

Thanks. You're meeting Sharon for lunch in 15 minutes.

Handlebars. Can't call handlebars inside.

One more hour and we are graduates.

All right. Okay. Hey, this is it. All right, let's go. Come on. Wait, wait,

wait. Picture. Picture.

Oh, wait. I need my cap.

What's it worth to you?

Actually, caps are free today.

Oh, gosh. Hey, you guys dropped off the money I gave you for my parking tickets,

right? Absolutely.

All $210 taken care of.

Boy, are they paid.

Thank you, Pete.

What do you say we do this right, huh?

Ooh, champagne.

Yes.

What would you do if you were young and beautiful and had a big bottle of

champagne?

You'd share it with your closest friends, and that's just what they did.

Can you believe that some girl actually gave it to us?

All right, cheers.

Here's to graduation, or as I like to call it, getting out of jail.

Perfect. Okay, let's go graduate.

Oh, I'm so glad you're here, Daddy. I could never have done any of this

you.

So anyway, Dad, after I finished... This stupid class.

There's a possibility that there still might be a job for me at Annabelle.

I hate Peetenburg.

Listen, honey, if there's one thing I've learned, it's that jobs come and go,

but it's your friends that get you through the rough times.

Yeah, but they're the cause of my rough times.

This job is important.

I don't want you to be ashamed of me anymore.

What?

Why didn't you mention me in the article yesterday?

I mentioned you.

Yeah?

But to mention what Todd and Liz do for a living and me, nothing.

Really?

Admit it.

You, you hate my job.

Well, honey, I don't.

Yeah, I do hate your job.

But I love you.

I know you love me, but I want you to be as proud of me as I am of you.

Sharon, listen to me. Hi, Sharon. Nope.

Mr. Carter, can we talk to you for a second?

I can't believe she didn't get that job because of me.

We were talking, and we just want to let you know that no matter what happens

between Sharon and us, we're never going to tell her anything. Give it a few

weeks, we'll do something worse, and she'll forget all about it.

Thanks, guys.

But I think it's time Sharon and I had an honest talk about what really

happened. You're going to tell her everything?

Yeah. I owe it to her.

And I owe it to you guys.

You all set, honey?

Yeah.

Sharon, if it's okay with you, I think we should go to dinner alone.

Good.

She is going to feel so bad.

We must never let her live this down.

We never will.

I feel so bad. I really do.

We know.

And we've compiled a list of things you can do to make it up to us.

One, a six -pack of beer, imported, delivered to our fridge once a week.

Two, I like this one, your firstborn, regardless of sex, shall be named Elvis.

Tell Johnny no stomping around a work booth before 8 a .m. Yeah. Yeah, you

ever since he's moved in with you, we haven't been able to get a wink of

Johnny lives with you?

Oh, I forgot to mention that.

I think we have a few more things to discuss.

See you upstairs.