Original subtitles

I miss you over Thanksgiving.

I hate going home for the holidays.

Somebody goes throwing something at somebody and saying something they can

take back, and then I have to sit in my room until I cool off and apologize.

I'm being crammed into my sister's apartment.

Five nephews trying to shove yams in your ears and punching you in the

Uncle Johnny! Uncle Johnny! Uncle Johnny!

Do you think your sister would be upset if you didn't show up this year?

Why?

Maybe you and I could spend Thanksgiving together.

Start a new tradition.

Are we allowed to do that? Yeah.

You and me being thankful for each other.

Yeah, let's do it. Really?

Yeah. Oh, wow.

Thanksgiving at my place. Yeah.

My sister makes a great Thanksgiving dinner, but I know yours is going to be

even better.

Oh, Tony.

I have to cook.

You can get it out. Come on!

You're a med student.

Yes, and what you need is a vet.

What the hell is going on out there?

Check this out. There's a bus, a cop, and a taxi all being blocked in by a

green Buick Skylark.

Oh, God.

Please don't tell me it's a convertible with clear plastic seat covers.

How'd you know?

Grandpa!

leave the spot I got right out front.

What are you doing here?

Well, it was a nice day. I was feeling good.

I thought I'd take a drive.

Plus, I left your grandmother.

Was it on purpose or did you take a wrong turn?

This is not like last month.

This time it's for good.

All right. Give me your keys. I'm going to go move your car.

The day you drive my car, you'll be coming home from my funeral.

Great. Then I'll finally get to turn off the blinker.

Pete's grandparents sure have a messed up relationship.

Ooh, actually, that reminds me. I gotta get over to Ashley's.

What's the box?

That's her stuff.

Her boyfriend's moved to town. I figure it's really gonna slow things down

between us.

She sure left a lot of junk for someone you never really dated.

She doesn't know I have it.

you doing here i'm gonna respect what you said about your privacy and honey if

those are the movers could you tell them not to unload anything until i'm there

to supervise okay well i uh i have to get

just one look at him once honey oh oh

excuse me i'm sorry uh are you a mover and a shaker

Justin, this is Michael Bergen. He's a friend from medical school.

Oh, oh, I'm sorry. I'm just a little stressed out from the move.

That's okay. You know, not to mention having to find a new job.

Must be hard having to start all over again at your age.

Justin, why don't you go put on some pants?

Oh, oh, of course. I'm sorry.

Where is my modesty?

I cannot believe that that's... Justin, how could you choose him over me? Okay,

first of all... Shh!

And second of all... No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!

I told you I was going to respect your decision, and I am, okay?

It's okay. I'm bigger than this. I'm just going to leave.

The guy, huh?

I bet that we shared more passion in our one kiss than you've ever experienced

in your entire relationship with him.

Tell me.

Tell me that he's everything you want, and I'll leave.

He quit his job. He moved here for me. He asked me to give it a chance.

I owe him that.

Okay. Well, I'll take that as a no.

Honey, can I put my socks in with your underwear?

Chief Berg, I'm sorry you gotta go, but we're kind of in a big rush.

Where are we going?

Well, we have a lot to do to...

prepare for Thanksgiving tomorrow.

All we have to do is confirm our reservation at the restaurant.

You cannot spend Thanksgiving in a restaurant. At least not when my friend

Sharon is having a big Thanksgiving party. Well, I accept. No, he doesn't.

Sounded like he did. Are you okay? Is there some problem I'm not aware of?

That you want Justin to meet new people? Well, of course I do.

You can't just keep me all to yourself, honey.

No, you're right. I'm just being silly.

Then it's a date. Hey.

You know, I think that this is going to be the best Thanksgiving ever.

No. I told you. We're starting a new tradition.

I want an intimate dinner, just me and Johnny.

Have you forgotten what Thanksgiving's all about? People.

People coming together, sharing.

The pilgrims inviting the Indians onto their land and into their homes.

Befriending them, learning their ways, and then stealing what was rightfully

theirs.

What happened to respecting Ashley's choice?

She's only with this guy because she feels obligated. I mean, how can you

respect that?

Come on, Sharon. I understand how he feels. Look, if you were in love with

somebody else, I would do everything I possibly could to make sure you fell in

love with me instead.

Why do you have to be so damn sweet?

Fine. You can come. Thank you, Sharon. You are the best.

Thank you, Johnny. No problem.

Now we can watch football.

Just call Grandma, okay? We're going home for Thanksgiving.

I'm not going.

Yes, you are.

All right, Mr. Wiseguy, try this on for size.

We're at Thanksgiving dinner.

There's a lull in the conversation, and I turn to my son, your father, and say,

hey, how about little Petey dropping out of graduate school after all that money

you spent?

No, I don't think you raised him to be a quitter either.

You wouldn't.

I'll bury you.

Sharon, two more for Thanksgiving.

Great. This is great.

The start of a new tradition.

A quiet, romantic Thanksgiving with you, me, Berg, the woman he loves, the woman

he loves, boyfriend Pete, and his runaway...

Justin. Hey, I just wanted to stop by and thank you for the invite.

My pleasure.

Not really. It means a lot to me. I don't know if you've heard, but Ashley

have been having some trouble.

Oh, really?

Yeah, yeah.

I think she's seeing another guy.

Oh, I'm not making you uncomfortable by telling you this, am I? No.

I mean,

you're the only guy I know here.

Hey. You're her friend. Have you seen some guy hanging around acting all goofy

and lovestruck?

You're not going to say it, are you?

What?

You're in love with my girlfriend.

Well, yeah, but she's in love with you and that other guy.

You know, I have to admit, I'm just surprised Ashley would go for somebody

wasn't more substantial.

Okay.

Now, uh, I'm not admitting anything, but, you know, I'm surprised, because I

figured Ashley would be dating someone who was a little more... Everything.

Give it up, Berg.

You deliver pizzas. I deliver dissertations.

What kind of tips do you get for that?

I don't know. I guess we'll discuss it at dinner.

Can't wait.

That makes two of us.

It's been fun. Oh, I'll be there. Take care. You too.

Oh, one more little thing.

What?

I'd like a medium pizza with pepperoni and extra cheese.

You get a third topping free.

I think it's great. We're having it down here. It's going to be way more

romantic.

So I'm just going to charge up there and bring all that.

The greatest hunt. Okay.

Oh, if you've got any, could you bring down some of those mixed nuts?

Uh, leave out the cashews.

They repeat on me.

Pete, trust me, you are going to hate this Justin guy. He's so competitive. So

are you. He's arrogant.

So are you. You're my best friend.

What is with that guy?

Ashley,

Justin. Hey, look, we're having dinner in our apartment here, so, uh... Come on

in. Oh, well, this is a nice place.

I didn't realize you had children.

Well, well, you're everything Berg said you'd be. I'm Pete.

Yeah, let me help you up with the coat there. Oh, thanks. Oh, no, I'll do it.

Okay, I'm the host. Really, I insist, I insist.

Justin, let me introduce you to my grandfather, Charlie. Oh. And this is

Sharon's boyfriend, Johnny.

It's fourth and eight.

Pete, why don't you show Justin where to hang our coats?

Okay.

Right behind me.

Okay, Pete, why don't you give Justin a tour of the place?

Oh, oh, okay.

Follow me. The tram's broke, so we'll have to walk.

Okay, Berg.

The only reason that I'm here is because Justin was really excited about meeting

new people.

I like him.

He's a nice guy.

That's what I'm saying.

He is.

I know. You're impossible.

This is the hallway, which will lead us into the living room again.

Thank you for that very loud tour.

Just in time. I was just about to pour a bottle of wine. This came highly.

Highly recommended.

Oh, a blend.

I'll adjust my palate accordingly.

Man, you called that a block?

Don't let him go over you like that.

You should be in there. You're a moose.

No, no, please.

Don't get off your guess.

Hey, Sharon, this is Justin.

Hi, Justin, I'm Sharon. Give me the bottle.

Okay, well, everybody, happy Turkey Day.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Why don't we have a real toast? Since this is

Thanksgiving, I think we should all say what we're thankful for. I, for one, am

thankful for the love and devotion of the most beautiful woman in the world

has chosen to share her life and her heart with me, above all others.

Oh, Justin, that's so sweet.

Wait.

I'd like to say what I'm thankful for.

Don't. Yeah, don't. Go ahead.

I'm thankful that I'm surrounded by such very special friends.

Especially my new friend, Justin.

Justin, as I look at you and Ashley together, it fills me with a sense of

that someday, soon, I'll have what you have.

Because Grandpa's car blew a gasket.

Why can't we take the train?

Why can't we take the train?

Because you dropped out of graduate school.

Because there's a cow on the tracks.

Well, I know. We'll try to figure something out.

Okay. All right. I love you, too.

You're gonna rot in hell for lying to your grandmother.

Take that cigar in the hall, please.

Yes!

Johnny? Penny?

Penny, Johnny?

Would you like to say what you're thankful for?

Detroit's up by 12.

I'm gonna go get the bird.

It's all your fault.

We'll get him over there, huh?

What a phony.

I hate him.

I hate you.

What?

I just think it's ironic. You're trying to break up Justin and Ashley, and

instead you're breaking up Johnny and Sharon.

You're annoying.

But you've given me an idea. Look, follow my lead, okay? All right.

Hey, guys, maybe you can settle an argument for us. Okay, you two go to

room.

It's just that, uh...

One of us is a hard -working med student. The other lay about the house

freeloader. Oh, my God. Wait a minute. As I say this, I realize that you guys

are in the exact same situation with Justin being out of work and all.

I hope I didn't embarrass you, Justin.

Oh, not at all. Not at all. I just got a job at Boston College.

Yeah, they called right after you left.

I guess you're just my little good luck charm, Bert.

Hey, maybe you ought to cut off his foot and hang your keys from it.

Oh, God!

What a beautiful turkey.

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

I ruined Thanksgiving.

Nonsense. That's perfectly good.

We'll take it upstairs and wash it.

She's been, uh, thinking.

No, you're not. You're watching TV.

No. Come on, Johnny. Time's almost up.

Gosh, you're something, Johnny. Anything.

Yeah. Time's up.

She's not very good at this game. You think?

You know what else you're not good at? You're not good at helping. You're not

good at toasting. And you're not good at creating new traditions with your

girlfriend.

Now, I'm gonna go get pie.

What? Would you like some help with that, hon? Don't.

Even think about it.

Okay.

Well, here we go. Ashley, just you and me.

And me. Whatever.

Okay.

And go.

Circle, round, ball, circle. High noon. Yes.

What the hell? Did you get high noon out of that?

That's a great clue. Look, the thun at the top of the paper.

What else are you going to get from that?

Circle? Round?

Ball? Circle?

I don't know.

You can keep hitting it, but I still don't know.

Okay, and time.

It's gone with the wind.

Sarah?

Wind.

Are you from America?

What's the thing in the corner?

The...

did you get that from that?

Oh, wait, I see.

Yeah, of course, because you were cheating.

No, no, he wasn't. He was drawing the Eiffel Tower.

That's where we went last summer.

We just had so much history, Berg.

Fine, great, excellent. New game.

How about charades?

Okay, Pete, you and I are a team.

Ready?

Movie.

Three words.

Second word.

Kiss.

Long kiss.

Long kiss goodnight!

Okay,

okay, okay. Pete, you and I are a team. Okay, okay.

Movie.

Three words.

Second word.

Okay, I'll take a stab.

Long kiss. Good night.

Right. Right.

Okay, Pete, you and I are a team.

No.

Enough.

Enough.

I'm not going to be fought over like a piece of meat.

You knew about me and Burke, didn't you?

Oh, well, I suspected.

No, no, you knew. And instead of talking to me about it, you used it to make me

feel guilty.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, and you, you invited me over here only to drive a wedge between me and

Justin instead of respecting my feelings like I asked.

You know, this is, this is really hard for me.

And you guys, you guys who claim to care about me the most are making me the

most miserable. Well, congratulations.

This is the worst Thanksgiving I've ever had.

Oh, Justin, find someplace else to sleep tonight.

Berg, don't call me. Sharon, thank you for a lovely evening.

I just... I thought of another toast.

I'm thankful I'm not in a relationship.

You're kidding me, Pete.

That's passion.

Loving someone so much that you're willing to make a complete fool of

Like when you left Grandma because she beat you at Wheel of Fortune?

Come on, Pete. She gets worried if I get home too late.

Wait, wait, wait, whoa, whoa, whoa. Grandpa, what about my dad?

Didn't I tell you? He's out of town.

Wait a minute, wait a minute. What the hell happened here?

Well, for one, I think we all ate too much.

Secondly, I owe you an apology.

You're right.

I should have just stepped back and let nature take its course. You know, if you

guys worked it out, you worked it out. That would have been the classy thing to

do then.

And that's what I'm going to do now.

Well, that's really big of you.

Considering she just threw me out!

to make a grand gesture.

Robert, I came here tonight not liking you.

Now I don't like any of you.

You know, I wish you two just would have listened to me in the first place and

had a nice, intimate Thanksgiving.

Well, I guess I'm the one that gets to clean all this stuff up.

Before you do that, before you do anything, I have something I want to

I'm thankful that I found a girl who's not only smart and not only beautiful,

but who's more important to me than I could ever put into a toast.

Oh.

So sweet.

You might want to soak the turkey pan before you wash the dishes. Soap's under

the sink. I'm taking a bath.

Mom's gonna love her.

I feel like I'm letting everybody down.

I tell you, Pete, you're doing the right thing. If you don't want to be an

architect, don't be an architect.

Just be happy.

Thank you.

Why, is your father going to kill you?