Original subtitles

This game sucks.

Where's the remote?

I don't know. Where'd you put it?

I think Sharon's sitting on it. Come on.

Well, are you sure?

Yeah, I think I'd feel it. Sharon, I left it right where you're sitting. Come

on, get up. Come on.

See?

Listen, wire up. Could you get us a couple more beers?

Looking for this?

Yeah, thanks.

Can I get you a tall, cool glass of lemonade?

Yeah, that'd be nice.

Coming right up.

Sharon, going after the repairman.

Chickabaw!

Did you ever stop and think that Johnny just might be an emotionally scarred,

working -class hero whose genius is simply untapped?

You know, Sharon, I am so sorry that I got you goodwill hunting for your

birthday.

Sharon, I'm working here.

Hence my crazy idea to order from you.

You know what? I'm having a little trouble with my class schedule right

I would have gone over it last night, but I was a little busy preparing for my

interview with Conway & Associates, okay? It's just the biggest architecture

firm in Boston, okay? And if I get this internship, I'm going to be set for

life. Set for life! But I suppose, I suppose I can put everything on hold and

get you your lemonade.

You got Isaac Bain in the middle of your forehead.

Did I just start my psych rotation?

Great. And you know, I think I found my calling.

Easing the woes of the pizza of the world.

Well, on behalf of the pizza of the world, go away.

Come on, what's wrong?

They're not going to let me graduate unless I pick an elective.

What kind of police state are we living in?

Look, it's my last year, all right? I need to focus. I don't need a

right now. A distraction is exactly what you need right now.

You're too focused, okay? You've been eating and sleeping architecture for the

last eight months. You're stressed out over a career that you haven't even

started yet.

You know, I think that a nice, easy elective would be a good thing.

Loosen you up.

Okay.

I wish I had my last... semester to do all over again, because once you're out

in the real world, every day is all yuck and blah.

Want that lemonade?

Oh, yeah. Here you go.

Okay, right here. The perfect elective.

Intermediate bowling.

Bowling? That's a course.

I've been bowling every Wednesday night for the past ten years. Where's my Ph

.D.? John, not just bowling.

Bowling appreciation.

You know what I appreciate about bowling is it cost me 15 bucks.

It's gonna cost you clowns eight grand.

Go figure.

I gotta track down a part. I'll see you tomorrow. And thanks for the lemonade.

Sure.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's so smart.

Why's it taking him four days to fix a jukebox?

Every night after he leaves, I break a different part.

Oh, man.

I've got to Xerox my blueprints, I've got to pick up my super clean cleaners,

and somehow I have to drop these cards off to the registrar's office by five.

Hey, so if you want, I'll drop by the registrar's office on the way home and

drop those off for you. You rule.

I will certainly do.

Hey, Bert.

Hey.

You're not going to believe this. Funniest thing. I went into my...

class today, and it turns out I'm not enrolled in metallurgy.

Apparently, someone enrolled me in sports broadcasting.

Hmm.

And how does that make you feel?

Angry.

That's good. Now, tell me, how are we going to work through these negative

emotions, Pete?

Well, First, I'm going to lunge at you and beat you unconscious with my sports

broadcasting book.

Come on.

No, no, I can do it. It's a really heavy book. Just calm down.

I tried to switch out, but all the other electors were full.

Well, you should have gotten there early, like I did. I've got to go to

interview, then I've got to rush over, and then it's a stupid game for this

stupid course that I shouldn't even be taking. And if I don't go, I'm going to

fail.

You know, this is the rest of my life we're talking about.

Exactly.

It's your last year of grad school, okay? Your last year to do something

Woo -hoo!

Your last year before yes and blech.

This is my last year.

Oh, my God, Bert, it's my last year.

You wanted to strike me with a book.

If sports broadcasting... Come on, you know sports better than anyone.

True. How many times watching football at a Malley's have people throwing

peanuts at your head, told you to sit down and shut up? A lot.

Now you get college credit for that.

It'll be great. You've got the big crowd, the stadium, the fans, the action

the field, and tell me who, who is going to bring that fun into everyone's

living rooms?

Pete Dumbo?

Yeah!

I'm going to go to my interview, and I want you to meet me at the game.

And if I don't have any fun, I'm going to have to kill you afterward. Fair

enough.

I must say, Mr. Dunville, your portfolio is quite impressive.

Thank you, sir. Thank you.

I found this on the bus.

This is a little joke.

Great.

Great attention.

So what inspired you to be an architect?

My dad, my dad mostly. Was he an architect? No, no, no, no. He was a

a construction site.

Ever since I was like eight years old, he always had these big dreams for me.

And so, hi, how are you?

The thing that strikes me, Mr. Dunville, is in the past 25 minutes, you've

answered all of our questions in a clear and competent manner.

But the one thing I haven't heard you say is why you love architecture.

I love architecture.

Hmm. Um... Well, you know, the thing is...

Well, I mean, it's because... Well, without

architecture, we'd all be outside.

Thank you, Mr. Dundall.

We'll have you back tomorrow to meet our senior partner. Thank you. Thank you

very much.

Did you get that thing with the bus?

This is Pete Dunville for WMFO College Radio, and we've got a real clash of the

titans tonight.

The first round of the Monday night chess club tournament is just seconds

after these words from Frank Soda Repair.

Remember, at Frank, you won't get rooked.

Great. You got the crowd in a frenzy.

It'll be great, you say. It'll be great.

The crowd, the stadium, the action on the field. This game doesn't even have a

ball.

So I take it the interview went poorly. No, no. The interview went great. Going

back to meet the senior partners.

Hey, have I told you that I love architecture lately?

Well, then you've been together as long as we have.

You don't have to say it.

Oh, and we're back, and I think a move is about to happen. Wait, wait, wait,

wait.

Nope.

Yes.

No.

Yes, yes, and what a move it was from our exchange student, Yuri Kirov, who

hails from Kazakhstan.

I'll tell you, I don't know how much longer he'll be able to sustain this

dizzying pace.

Oh, and the counter move. Oh, and a beauty pawn to knight four. An

aggressive play by our challenger, Isaac Glickstein.

We have a slugfest brewing here in the Cohen Auditorium.

And Yuri the Mad Russian is dominant.

sides of the board.

And Glickstein's queen is running scared.

Go get him, Yuri.

Finish him, Yuri.

You might. This is a blast.

You think Johnny's going to be able to solve that, don't you?

It's possible.

Admit it. You like this guy, and you just can't stand the fact that he's not

investment banker.

So now you're rationalizing, telling yourself he's some big genius.

Go play with Pete's brain. Leave mine alone.

Johnny, what do you make of this?

Yeah, I know this.

elusive, cute bunny with a big fluffy tail theorem.

Hey, everyone. How y 'all doing? Ooh, mine.

Happy guy.

Where's my friend?

You're right, Merck. Sports broadcasting.

Now, normally this type of progress would have taken years of

Me? Half hour.

Are you Pete Dunville?

Yeah, that's me. Ah!

right here he is the voice of chess yes i am come on do it do it okay

okay this is pete dunville reminding

you it's your move oh awesome all

right see you later so i just stopped in to let you know to

huddle around your radios tonight because that's right, Pete Dunville is

announcing women's basketball.

Tough versus Amherst, 5 p .m. football.

Okay, first of all, stop referring to yourself in the third person.

And second, I thought you were meeting a senior person tonight.

Blowing them off.

What? Yep, blowing them off.

But this internship is huge.

Set for life. Can't get you lemonade, remember? That was before I decided to

quit architecture.

What?

Thanks to that man, for he had shown me the light.

Doll, looketh at me.

Hey, hey, you're a semester away from getting your degree. Get your butt down

that interview.

If I go to that interview, I'm going to tell you right now, I'm going to get

that internship.

Yeah? Yeah, and then I'm going to be locked into that job for the rest of my

life. Why settle for yuck and blah when I can have yippee?

Don't do this. It's bad for your future. And your parents are going to blame me.

Your mother still hasn't forgiven me for setting the pool on fire.

You did set the pool on fire.

And I'm tired of hearing about it.

Ever since I was 12 years old, I never even thought about being anything but an

architect. I mean, I was the only kid on my block who used scaffolding to build

a snowman.

Yeah, which is why you should be an architect.

No, no, look, this stupid elective has opened my eyes. I mean, there's so many

things out there that I've been missing, but not anymore.

All right, so wish me luck.

Goodbye, and I will see you on the radio.

And Pete's on bill is out the door.

Where did he get these ideas?

Oh. This isn't funny. You broke our Pete. Now go fix them.

Where's Berg? I need him to stop this.

Oh, he just missed him.

But if you left now traveling at 15 .6 kilometers per hour, and Berg is

traveling at 5 .3...

kilometers per hour, how many minutes will it be before you reach him?

So, in other words, he's not here.

Right.

Okay, number 42.

Tracy Keller.

Raised her eight brothers while father worked nights.

That's a good human interest story.

Number eight. Cheryl Lozaso.

An amazing jump shot.

Parents live in a bubble.

Okay, I can use that.

Hey, Pete.

Bert, Bert, don't even try and talk me out of this, because it's not going to

work. I just came by to wish you luck in your new career. I even... Well, I

brought you a present.

Wow,

Bert, these are amazing.

I knew you'd like them. These are the original blueprints for Fenway Park.

Well, this... Scale down. In real life, it's really much bigger than this.

Look where the scoreboard used to be.

Man, they don't build them like this anymore. And look, they used I -beams to

support the upper deck. It gave the game character.

Pretty cool, huh? It's very, very cool.

See, this puts everything into perspective now. It gives me something

for.

Really? Yeah.

I hope to announce a game there someday.

Nice try.

This was supposed to be an elective.

Not a career. Look, you can't just throw everything away like this. You did a

good thing.

You helped me find my calling.

Your calling?

Yeah. I'm a natural.

You did the play -by -play for one chess match.

I was on top of everything.

I didn't miss a move.

They made a move. Every 35 minutes.

Pete, interview.

Come on, it'll be fun. What do you say?

Pete, hey, your body language is very negative.

Do you like to read?

Yeah, I like to read.

Oh. What did you think of Kant's critique of pure reason?

Oh, man, I couldn't get enough of it. Really?

What are you, crazy?

What are you trying to do?

Look, I wasn't trying to... Yes, you were.

No, no, no, I didn't mean to... Yes, you did. See, do I know this? Do I know

that? Let me tell you what I do know.

I know how to take a Chevy carburetor and put it into a Ford.

I know every word to every Motown song ever written, and...

I know you watch too many movies.

What? What are you talking about?

Good Will Hunting.

Oh, I've been meaning to see that, but when I go to rent... Okay.

I know one more thing.

You are very, very cute.

Guess I don't have to be a genius to figure that one out. You know, it's five

'clock. You might want to turn on the radio.

Stupid friend is on.

I'm Pete Dunville, and we're just seconds away from the tip -off of what

promises to be the most explosive game between these two intrastate rivals.

Okay, looks like they're ready to play, and here's the tip.

Coakley's all over it. It's tough sensing up court on the fast break.

Coakley passes it to Sheila Lawrence. Sheila Lawrence finds Lozaso baseline,

Cheryl Lozaso dunks it, just like a man.

Dunk like a man?

Pete, don't explain it. Just move on. Move on.

And when I say she dunks it like a man, I don't mean to imply that women aren't

as good as men. They're just slower.

It's like a handicap, but not a bad one.

Women can do anything.

I mean, I'm sure that someday we'll even have a woman president.

We almost had a black president.

Not that we shouldn't have a black president.

In fact, next election, I'm voting for a woman black president.

Shut up, Pete. Just shut up already.

And I'm going to vote for her.

Not because she's black, but because she's the most qualified.

Whoever she is.

The score is 16 to 12 as we go into our first time out. I'm Pete Dunville with

What Is Shaping Up To Me, my last broadcast.

Bonnie, I'm telling you, I'm not just saying this, but I'm not a couple of

idiots.

But all I know is, somehow, somebody got rigatoni in the jukebox.

You just have to get to know them.

My professor, Miss DeBoer, made a point to stop by and personally give me a

date. Is that bad?

I've never gotten a D before in my life.

Well, security gave you a personal escort to your car.

That's pretty cool.

Look, I've been studying architecture my whole life, right? And then along comes

the sports broadcasting thing, right? And it felt great.

You know, and I know I went a little nuts, right? But it was so liberating.

So basically, the thing I love, I suck at. Boy, do you ever.

I'll thank you.

Rhetorical. Didn't need a response.

And the thing I'm great at, I threw away.

Not necessarily.

What do you mean?

What big firm you had the interview with.

You have another interview Tuesday. I wrote them a note as your doctor saying

you were ill.

Really? Yeah. Now, if anybody asks, you had electroshock therapy.

You broke

our Pete. Now go fix him.

But wait.

Before we do anything, you just slapped me in the ass, didn't you?

What? You've never done that?

Yeah.

Just like a nice little surprise in my day.

Should I not slap his... Sure, sure. I feel great.