All language subtitles for Tim and Eric s04e01 Snow

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,099 --> 00:00:06,100 Hello, I'm Diarrhea Jones, and the inventor of D -pants. 2 00:00:06,880 --> 00:00:12,160 D -pants are protective pants you wear under your trousers to capture and 3 00:00:12,160 --> 00:00:14,800 contain your uncontrollable diarrhoea. 4 00:00:15,240 --> 00:00:17,460 Just squirt away right into the plastic. 5 00:00:17,720 --> 00:00:21,680 The diarrhoea almost never runs away through the tight elastic around the 6 00:00:21,680 --> 00:00:22,680 ankles. 7 00:00:25,700 --> 00:00:30,300 And my D -pants are discreet. As a matter of fact, I've been filling them 8 00:00:30,300 --> 00:00:31,400 right in front of you. 9 00:00:32,290 --> 00:00:36,250 And when they're filled up to the brim, you just hose them off in your backyard. 10 00:00:46,730 --> 00:00:47,730 Hello, Jenny. 11 00:00:48,670 --> 00:00:49,770 Ready for a new day. 12 00:00:50,430 --> 00:00:54,350 Damn it, I forgot to tell you. My deep pans are not made for solid loaves. 13 00:00:54,730 --> 00:00:56,270 It's too much for the plastic. 14 00:00:56,810 --> 00:00:58,510 It'll rip a hole right through the back. 15 00:00:58,830 --> 00:01:00,830 So please, keep it liquid. 16 00:01:01,630 --> 00:01:06,550 This is Diarrhea Jones reminding you to squirt on the go and poo in your pants 17 00:01:06,550 --> 00:01:07,650 with D -Pants. 18 00:01:44,180 --> 00:01:46,080 Fresh hot cocoa. 19 00:01:46,660 --> 00:01:47,980 Come to daddy. 20 00:01:49,240 --> 00:01:50,240 Ow, hot! 21 00:01:55,660 --> 00:01:58,540 Well, it's official. There's no way we're going to that party in this 22 00:01:58,540 --> 00:02:01,120 out there. You said it, Tim. Eric, check this out. 23 00:02:01,400 --> 00:02:02,580 Shake it, baby. 24 00:02:03,580 --> 00:02:05,360 Shake it, baby. 25 00:02:05,800 --> 00:02:07,320 Tim, careful of my new carpet. 26 00:02:11,039 --> 00:02:12,040 Shake, shake, shake. 27 00:02:18,300 --> 00:02:19,300 Ooh, 28 00:02:22,780 --> 00:02:23,780 hot cocoa. 29 00:02:25,420 --> 00:02:27,040 Careful, Tim. You might want to blow on it first. 30 00:02:27,340 --> 00:02:28,259 What? 31 00:02:28,260 --> 00:02:29,260 Not like this. 32 00:02:30,920 --> 00:02:31,920 But like this. 33 00:02:32,180 --> 00:02:33,180 Because it's so hot. 34 00:02:33,620 --> 00:02:34,700 I'll take my chances. 35 00:02:35,500 --> 00:02:37,040 Always a little behind the eight ball, aren't you? 36 00:02:37,460 --> 00:02:38,460 Let me get another cup. 37 00:02:40,760 --> 00:02:41,760 I'll get it, Mr. 38 00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:42,800 Worrywart. 39 00:02:46,020 --> 00:02:47,520 Anybody got any juggle cables? 40 00:02:48,340 --> 00:02:50,040 Richard, come in here. Get out of the cold. 41 00:02:50,340 --> 00:02:51,380 I tried driving. 42 00:02:52,140 --> 00:02:53,540 But the car wouldn't start. 43 00:02:53,780 --> 00:02:54,820 It's too cold out there. 44 00:02:55,040 --> 00:02:57,160 Put down that battery and come get some hot cocoa. 45 00:02:57,440 --> 00:02:58,440 Hot cocoa? 46 00:02:58,620 --> 00:02:59,620 Oh! 47 00:02:59,700 --> 00:03:00,820 That's a cool listing! 48 00:03:04,700 --> 00:03:05,700 Oh, shit! 49 00:03:06,480 --> 00:03:07,480 Hot! 50 00:03:08,460 --> 00:03:14,260 You don't understand! 51 00:03:14,820 --> 00:03:15,820 The crap! 52 00:03:15,880 --> 00:03:16,880 That's improv. 53 00:03:16,960 --> 00:03:20,600 I made that up off the top of my head. Hey, I want to spit on that person. 54 00:03:20,940 --> 00:03:22,350 Acting! let you do this. 55 00:03:27,970 --> 00:03:29,310 Love the camera, guys. 56 00:03:29,990 --> 00:03:30,990 Love it. 57 00:03:33,930 --> 00:03:36,050 Write that down! He fixed the fern back! 58 00:03:36,490 --> 00:03:40,650 Which is a great stage name, by the way, Cassie. Get rid of Cassie. Your new 59 00:03:40,650 --> 00:03:42,250 name is Fix the Fern Back. 60 00:03:43,850 --> 00:03:45,650 Mr. Fern Back, how are you today? 61 00:03:46,370 --> 00:03:47,370 Fix the! 62 00:03:47,410 --> 00:03:48,410 Answer me, fix the! 63 00:03:49,100 --> 00:03:51,940 Your smart -ass attitude is not going to get you into a good college. 64 00:03:52,640 --> 00:03:54,820 I went to James Sprunt Community College. 65 00:03:55,020 --> 00:03:59,660 Took acting there for seven years. That's Sprunt. S -P -R -U -N -T. 66 00:03:59,860 --> 00:04:01,340 Guess what it spells with. 67 00:04:01,640 --> 00:04:02,640 Rhymes with. 68 00:04:03,340 --> 00:04:08,300 You stick your tongue in a burrito and all of a sudden people think you're 69 00:04:09,160 --> 00:04:11,020 Let's go through everybody's names. What's your name? 70 00:04:11,260 --> 00:04:12,260 Kathy. 71 00:04:12,940 --> 00:04:13,940 Joyko. 72 00:04:14,760 --> 00:04:15,760 Melinda. 73 00:04:17,360 --> 00:04:18,360 Stanley. 74 00:04:20,690 --> 00:04:22,070 Fix the phone back. 75 00:04:22,970 --> 00:04:28,450 That's right Cheers 76 00:04:28,450 --> 00:04:35,050 to you guys. This is nice. 77 00:04:35,750 --> 00:04:37,250 Hey, you know what this reminds me of? 78 00:04:37,510 --> 00:04:40,690 What's that Tim? The first video we ever made together 79 00:05:27,210 --> 00:05:28,210 Okay, 80 00:05:35,410 --> 00:05:37,270 guys, for the last of the hot cocoa. 81 00:05:37,570 --> 00:05:38,570 Be right there. 82 00:05:38,990 --> 00:05:40,130 What are you doing over there? 83 00:05:40,450 --> 00:05:41,450 Peeing in a jar. 84 00:05:42,470 --> 00:05:43,530 What the heck for? 85 00:05:44,460 --> 00:05:45,640 In case the pipes freeze? 86 00:05:47,440 --> 00:05:48,440 Hey, Rick. 87 00:05:49,260 --> 00:05:50,260 Hold this for a minute. 88 00:05:54,220 --> 00:05:55,220 Hey, 89 00:05:56,360 --> 00:05:57,920 guys, you know it's supposed to snow outside. 90 00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:00,200 David, it is snowing outside. 91 00:06:00,800 --> 00:06:02,300 Oops, me so sorry. 92 00:06:02,660 --> 00:06:07,740 Did you know I need to check my email because my wing long is down. 93 00:06:08,520 --> 00:06:11,780 You know what that reminds me of? The first song we ever wrote together. 94 00:06:13,020 --> 00:06:14,720 That doesn't ring a bell for me. 95 00:06:15,720 --> 00:06:17,220 David, this might jog your memory. 96 00:06:22,460 --> 00:06:23,620 Now I remember. 97 00:06:28,240 --> 00:06:31,060 Email's the best way to communicate with your friends. Better than that antique 98 00:06:31,060 --> 00:06:35,140 telephone you have at home. And we made a song up about it, and this is how it 99 00:06:35,140 --> 00:06:37,960 goes. And this is Albert Herman. He's going to sing it with me. Hi. 100 00:06:38,220 --> 00:06:39,220 Nice to see you. 101 00:06:40,810 --> 00:06:44,890 Email's a great way to stay in touch with one another. 102 00:06:45,590 --> 00:06:46,930 It's all right. 103 00:06:48,150 --> 00:06:52,650 Jump online and write to a friend and stay in touch forever. 104 00:06:53,310 --> 00:06:54,350 It's online. 105 00:06:56,250 --> 00:07:00,270 Email's like speaking telepathically through a machine. 106 00:07:04,070 --> 00:07:08,830 Staying in touch is using email better than your best dream. 107 00:07:11,919 --> 00:07:15,860 Email's a great way to stay in touch with one another. 108 00:07:16,680 --> 00:07:17,840 It's all right. 109 00:07:41,450 --> 00:07:42,450 It's online. 110 00:07:47,990 --> 00:07:53,170 Hello, I'm Dr. Alan Thicke. Studies have shown that short periods of sleep 111 00:07:53,170 --> 00:07:57,050 during the day can drastically reduce the incidence of some minor illnesses. 112 00:07:57,310 --> 00:08:00,310 And that's why I'm here to introduce you to a brand new fruit. 113 00:08:00,690 --> 00:08:02,550 It's called the Cinco Napo. 114 00:08:03,010 --> 00:08:07,370 This fruit makes you fall asleep and then wakes you up after only about 15 115 00:08:07,370 --> 00:08:09,830 minutes. This is a truly amazing fruit. 116 00:08:10,940 --> 00:08:14,280 First, the apples are injected with a mild bowel irritant. 117 00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:18,880 Then the apples are dipped in a sleeping gel and set in the sun to dry. 118 00:08:20,820 --> 00:08:23,880 Simply take a few bites from an apple and it knocks you out. 119 00:08:24,280 --> 00:08:26,640 Oh, I'm so sleepy. 120 00:08:26,900 --> 00:08:31,180 The apple juice sits in your stomach and then starts to gently irritate the 121 00:08:31,180 --> 00:08:32,679 bowels. So you wake up. 122 00:08:32,919 --> 00:08:34,720 You may want to wear your deep pants. 123 00:08:38,640 --> 00:08:42,620 After all, a napple a day and a good nap a day will keep me away. 124 00:08:47,600 --> 00:08:51,340 Great job. 125 00:08:54,260 --> 00:09:00,260 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 126 00:09:00,720 --> 00:09:03,540 52. Full deck of cards. 127 00:09:04,160 --> 00:09:07,100 Well, I'm out of ideas. 128 00:09:09,480 --> 00:09:12,480 You know what? Just because we're snowed in doesn't mean we can't have fun. We 129 00:09:12,480 --> 00:09:13,500 just have to put our heads together. 130 00:09:14,100 --> 00:09:15,100 Interesting. 131 00:09:15,420 --> 00:09:16,440 Check this out. 132 00:09:19,620 --> 00:09:21,120 Hey, check out Richard, huh? 133 00:09:21,540 --> 00:09:22,540 Go, Rich! 134 00:09:22,700 --> 00:09:29,480 Go, Rich! Go, Rich! Go, Rich! Go, Rich! Go, Rich! Go, Rich! Go, Rich! 135 00:09:29,480 --> 00:09:30,480 Check it, baby. 136 00:09:33,120 --> 00:09:34,120 You know what, Tim? 137 00:09:34,680 --> 00:09:35,840 This gives me an idea. 138 00:09:49,620 --> 00:09:52,760 Nice. Hey, Eric, I love your ideas, man. 139 00:09:52,980 --> 00:09:54,780 Check it out, Tim. All our friends are here. 140 00:09:55,400 --> 00:09:57,200 Oh, snow, keep it coming. 141 00:10:03,360 --> 00:10:04,360 Uh -huh. 142 00:10:05,300 --> 00:10:06,300 Nice. 9701

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