All language subtitles for The Weird Al Show s01e07 Because I Said So

Oh. This is a story about a guy named
Al, and he lived in a sewer with his

hamster pal, but the sanitation workers
really didn't approve, so he packed up

his accordion and had to move to a city
in Ohio, where he lived in a tree, and

he worked in a nasal decongestion
factory, and he played on the company

team, and every single night he had a
French recurring dream, where he was

wearing leader holes and in a vat of
sour cream, but that's really not

in the story.

Well, the very next year he met a dental
hygienist with a special attitude on

her arm, but he didn't even touch any
lobster number, then he got a full job

a tater tot farm, and he fed his life
since he's got a split level game 20

below the surface of the earth and he
really makes a mighty fine jelly bean

pickle sandwich for what it's worth and
one day i was in the forest trying to

get a tan when he heard the tortured
screaming of a funny little man he was

caught in a bear trap and al said i'm
free and the guy that he rescued was

grateful us could be and it turns out
he's a big chef producer on tv so he

al a contract and what do you know now
he's got his very own weird

Today's lesson is, the best way to work
out a problem with a bully is through

peaceful communication!

Besides, being a bully just isn't cool.

Oh, hey, how you doing?

You're probably wondering what I'm
working on this week. This invention is

to change life on this planet as we know
it.

It's an automatic toenail clipper!

Just think what this will mean to future
generations.

I think I finally got all the bugs out,
so now I just need some kind of guinea

pig to test it on.

Well, I don't have a guinea pig, but I
do have a

hamster! Hey, Harvey!

Hey, buddy!

You want to help me test out my new
invention?

Yeah, your toenails are a little long.

This will be good for you.

Okay, here we go.

All right, let's check out those
toenails.

Oops.

Sorry, Harvey. I guess my invention
needs a little fine -tuning.

Oh, excuse me.

Jankovic, que pasa?

Who's my favorite star?

Uh, what can I do for you, J .B.? Good.
Right to the point. I like that.

It's take an extended relative to work
day, and I'm bringing in my little

nephew, Huey.

Oh, that's real nice of you. I thought
so. He should be showing up at your

any minute now.

My place?

Yes, and oh, by the way, I told him he
could be in charge of your show. What?

That's right. I should warn you, he's
used to getting his own way. I would try

very hard not to upset him about you.
Because when he gets upset, his mother

gets upset. And when his mother gets
upset, my wife gets upset.

And when my wife gets upset, I get
upset. And when I get upset, you're

You understand me, Yankovic?

Yes, sir.

All righty, then. Well, have fun.

Ciao. Well,

Harvey, looks like we're going to have
some company.

JB's nephew is coming over.

I hate to say it, pal, but I don't think
the big hair thing works for you.

That's cold, man.

Excuse me, do I know you? I'm Buford.

I'm the new band leader.

We're your house band.

Hold it, hold it, hold it, hold it. I
didn't order any house band.

That's right, I did. He's here because I
told him to be here.

Hello there. You must be, let me guess,
JB's neato nephew.

Huey, right?

Oh, I sure have heard a lot about you,
mister.

Hey, Buford, guess what? What?

Chicken butt.

That's cool, man.

That is cool.

So, Huey, would you like a little tour
of the cave? Maybe watch a little TV?

TV? I hate TV. And from now on, I want
you to call me sir.

Okay.

Well, sir.

How did you get that name?

Were you knighted or something?

Knights are wieners. Where'd you get
that shirt? Hawaii or something?

Well, uh, no.

But if you're interested in knowing more
about Hawaii... Hawaii is a chain of

volcanic and coral islands in the
Central Pacific.

Settled by Polynesians in the 6th
century A .D., it later became part of

.S. in the year... Boring!

From now on, whenever the band starts
playing, I want you to sing.

Sing?

What do you mean, sing? Make up a song.

Tra -la -la -la -la. Sing.

Why? It doesn't exactly work that way.

Talk much?

You're supposed to be nice to me,
remember?

Yeah.

Anyway, I can tell by the old clock on
the wall that once again it's time

Al's Mailbag! That's right.

Well, let's... Sing the Owl's Mailbag
theme song.

Uh, Owl's Mailbag doesn't have a theme
song. Make one up and sing it now.

Okay, I just did, in my head. If you
don't sing the Owl's Mailbag theme song,

I'm gonna have my uncle kick you off
your show.

Buford, Mailbag song, hit it!

Letters.

I get letters.

So many letters.

A whole bunch of letters.

I'd even read mail from a cow.

It's time for Al's mailbag now.

Huff it!

Hit the...

really look like Mozart.

If I had that on tape, I'd tape over it.

Oh, man.

That's cold.

Okay, well, let's see what our viewers
have to say this week.

Got a letter here from Bill Burke in
Wausau, Wisconsin, and Bill says,

Dear Al, I've got a special request.

Could I see Dick Van Patten in a tutu
doing a little pirate dance?

Hmm.

Well, sure, I guess we have time for
that. Okay, here you go.

Well, that was fun, wasn't it?

Okay,

here's a letter from... I'm bored!

I want someone to draw a funny picture
of me right now!

Gee, would you look at the time?

Well, we're going to have to take a
quick break right now, but don't go away

you'll regret it for the rest of your
natural life.

Will Al figure out how to communicate
with Huey? Will Huey figure out that

a bully isn't cool?

Will I ever stop this annoying shouting?

Don't go away.

We'll be right back.

It's time for more of the Weird Al Show.

That doesn't look like me. I'm cuter and
taller.

My head's too big.

Hey, there's someone at the door.

Remember what I said, Al.

Sing. Buford, hit it.

There's someone at the door. There's
someone at the door. There's someone at

door. Please don't make me sing anymore.
Can't you see that there's someone at

the door?

Buford!

We got to open the door.

We got to open the door.

We got to open the door. We got to open
the door.

We got to open the door.

Open that door.

Open that door.

I can't. I can't. I just can't open that
door. You got to. I

can't. I can't. I just can't open that
door. You got to. I can't. Can't. No.

Can't do it.

Should I open it? Yeah.

Should I open the door?

Well, maybe I should answer it then.

But first, I just have to ask.

Who's at the door? Who wants to come
inside?

Say, who's at the door? But don't stand
out there and hide.

Is it Sam or Joe or Fran or Bill or Bob
or Clyde?

Who's at the door?

It's big -time TV star Tajmori. Hi, Al.
I just thought that I'd... Tajmori, you

wacky swinging cat.

Tajmori, Tajmori, would you like fries
with that?

Mr. Tajmori, now welcome to the Weird Al
Show.

Um, what's with the singing?

and maybe show a clip?

Well, of course. Hey, everybody, what do
you say?

Why don't we show a clip now?

Why don't we show a clip now, mon?

Why don't we show a clip now?

Let's show a clip right now.

Jurassic Park is frightening in the
dark.

All the dinosaurs are running wild.

Someone let T -Rex out of his pen.

Cause they sure don't act like Barney.
And they think that I'm their dinner,

their friend.

What was that?

Jurassic Park, smart guy.

You were in Jurassic Park, remember?

No, no, I wasn't. And besides, that
wasn't even a clip from the movie. That

just your music video.

I can't even believe you came on this
stupid show.

Why did you come on this stupid show?

Everyone watching. Everyone watching. We
sure like to know.

We sure like to know.

This was a big mistake.

That's it.

I'm out of here. Okay, Taj, but first,
will you do me a little favor?

Pretty please?

What? Will you try out my automatic
toenail clipper?

What do I have to do?

Just take off your shoe and put your
foot in that box.

Okay. I can't believe I'm doing this.
Let me just take off my shoe.

I think my machine needs just a little
more work. Forget your machine. Look at

me. You made me into a freak.

I made you into a freak.

You're the freakiest thing I've seen all
week.

I may be an accordion playing geek, but
my friend, you're a full -fledged

freak. And I'm not kidding.

I made you.

Into a big, fat freak!

Oh, yeah!

Oh, hey, guys.

Hey, where did Taj Mori go? He was just
here.

I think I just saw him limping away.

Oh, you know how those sensitive artists
are.

Speaking of artists, what's going on
over here?

You're the worst!

I can draw better than this with my
butt! Get out!

That's JB's nephew, Huey. Looks like
he's in charge of the show today.

Holy cannoli!

Dora, you want me to take care of him
for you?

Nice thought, but better not. Just try
to ignore him.

In fact, when I was a kid, I always
cracked under the silent treatment.

I just won't say anything to him.

Hey, who are these people?

What are your friends' names?

I'll name them.

You're Dummy.

You're Stupid.

And you're Nuclear Stupid.

Actually, I'm Corky. This is Val
Brentwood and the Hooded Avenger. You

go to court to change your name, Dummy.
Isn't that right, Al?

Why aren't you talking? I order you to
say something.

Perhaps if you asked nicely. Who asked
you, Hood Boy?

Okay. If you want to smell my socks,
don't say...

Anything.

Al wants to smell my socks.

Al wants to smell my socks.

That's cold, man.

That is cold.

Say it once in a while, not a million
times a second.

Okay, now let's talk about fun stuff.
What did everybody have for breakfast

today? I had waffles and maple syrup.
Okay, enough about breakfast. Let's all

have a party for me.

Or you're fired.

Well, he certainly has a healthy level
of self -confidence.

Okay.

Let's play musical chairs.

Go.

Al, don't ignore him.

But don't let him push you around.

Find a way, find a way to communicate
with the... lads.

Get ready. The music could stop at any
time.

Okay. Maybe I can kill him with
kindness.

Stop!

I win!

Gee, Huey. That was amazing.

What skill.

What finesse. Can you teach me how to be
as talented as you?

Wait a minute. Look.

I got you a cake because I think you're
so great.

Hey, everybody. Isn't Huey just the
greatest?

Oh, did you know I started a Huey fan
club? We've got our own Huey website and

everything. Would you autograph this for
me, oh Master Huey?

Do I look like a ski instructor?

Huh? I said, do I look like a ski
instructor?

Uh, no.

Then spare me the snow job.

Just checking in to see how you two are
getting along. Just fine. Hold on. Just

fine, JV.

Terrible! I want Al out of here right
now, but he can't ever come back!

Yeah, right. Whatever you say, Huey.
Well, I'm late for my liposuction

appointment. I gotta run.

Bye.

Did you hear that? You're out of here!

Too bad.

So sad.

Bye -bye!

You're right, Huey. I am out of here.

I've had enough of this bullying from
you.

I quit!

Oh, sorry, Huey. I mean... I quit, I
quit, I

quit!

Poor Al.

He tried to communicate peacefully, but
that Huey, he's such a bully.

We'll be right back.

Don't you move!

The Weird Al Show is back!

Did you miss me?

Harvey, as soon as I put down some
roots, I'll send for you.

Until then, take care, buddy.

Oh, really going to miss you, Buford.

Keep providing musical accompaniment and
punctuation to dramatic events.

You're the man, Al.

Yes. Yes, I know. Say, Buford, since I'm
probably never going to see you again,

I wanted to give you something to
remember me by.

This chunk of ice from my refrigerator.

Wow, man.

That's cold.

That's really cold.

Piece of pie.

We've had some good times together.

But now you're going to a better place.

Are you finished?

Yep, I'm done.

Well, there's nothing else you have to
do, like play your accordion or kiss

stalagmites goodbye?

Nope. Well, don't you have to make a
banana mustard sandwich for the road?

No, I'll just be on my way.

Farewell, cave.

It's been fun.

Wait, you can't go.

What? I order you, come back in here
now.

What is it, Huey? Are you trying to say
something?

I order you to do a cartwheel right now.

Sorry, I'm all cartwheeled out of the
moment.

Well, see ya.

Fine, go if you want.

And I'll be here all alone as usual.

Everyone hates Huey.

Huey Pooey.

Well, you're no bully, are you, Huey?

Come on, please don't cry.

Everyone hates me. Nobody wants to play
with me.

Huey, I had no idea you felt this way.

I had no idea you felt anything.

No one likes me.

I like you.

I mean, in theory.

If you weren't so bossy. In an alternate
universe where you're this totally

different person and not a tyrant, I
like you.

Really? Sure.

You know, if you just gave it half a
chance, you might find that people think

you're okay.

Like these people from Honolulu.

You mean you forgive me?

Well, I don't know. I mean, I don't
really have the right to forgive anyone.

mean, I don't live here anymore.

Well, see ya.

Well, that, yeah.

Um, I guess you don't have to go now.

Oh, great.

Go watch some TV.

Hello, boys and girls.

I'm Fred Huggins.

And these are my little friends, Papa
Bully and Baby Bully.

I'm hungry. When do we get paid?

Oh, what a beautiful day it is. It's
such a nice day, isn't it? It's really,

really nice.

I like that word, nice.

I hate you, Fred. You know, you should
always be nice.

Because it's nice to be nice.

It'd be nice if you'd just shut up! And
if you're nice to people, people will be

nice to you, too.

How about that?

I wrote a little song about it. It's
called, It's Nice to Be Nice.

Oh.

This is fun.

I like hanging out with you.

Ah, you're not so bad yourself, sir.

No, you don't have to call me sir
anymore. Just Huey. Now that we're

can come over here all the time and hang
out.

Finally, Huey learned that it's not good
to be a bully and misbead others.

The Weird Al Show will be right back.

I promise!

And now, the spine -tingling conclusion
of The Weird Al Show!

Harvey, what were you doing in there?
You mischievous little imp.

Anyway... My foot!

Look what he did to my foot!

He's nuts, I tell you! He must be
stopped!

Please! Ah, you'll be all right.

Well, Huey's gone now, and he promised
me he'd try really hard to be nice to

everyone. I have a feeling he'll be back
someday.

Unless I can get that restraining order.

And from now on, I'm going to try just
talking to people instead of letting

stomp all over me.

Anyway, before I sign off, I just have
to try my automatic toenail clipper one

last time.

They're beautiful!

Do you know what this means?

The world will never be the same again.

Thus begins the dawning of a new age.

An age in which we can all be free.

Free to live in a world without
hangnails.

Oh, what a glorious thought.

Anyway, it's the end of the show. So
until next time, remember to always look

both ways before crossing the street.

Because you never know when someone's
going to...