Original subtitles

(♪♪♪)

-BIG GUY: Wayne... -Shit, man.

BIG GUY: It's leaking.

(INDISTINCT SPEECH)

(GRUNTS)

Um, are you sure about this, Wayne?

(CHUCKLES)

You trust me to get in,

but you don't trust me to get out.

KELLSTROM: Wait, that idiot built it himself?

RAQUEL: Yeah.

So he just learned on his own?

He was in the Coast Guard,

and he was an engineering major for a minute.

You're kidding.

Do I look like I'm fucking kidding?

I thought this loser never finished anything.

He's not a loser.

He suffers from selective completion.

You know what?

Can we just get this over with?

Please?

All right, be sure you give us, like, a three-second countdown.

What the hell do you think this is, a space launch?

That was, like, four seconds!

Goddamn it! Fuck it!

(WATER SPLASHES)

(WHISTLES)

(♪♪♪)

(SCREAMING)

-(POLICE SIREN BLARING) -(INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER)

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

I was shaving my ball sack last night,

which got me to thinking about your call numbers here.

These metrics suck. These are sucky-ass metrics.

Clients with freight. Carriers with trucks.

The only impediment to this synergy is the leads.

The leads have to be called!

(SIGHS)

So, you know, there's a recycling bin

outside your office.

Have you hired a new sales rep yet?

You gotta have a pretty good reason

as to why you wanna take

a entry-level freight broker job, right?

Well, where'd you find that big Santa sausage hairy guy?

Oh, you mean Big Guy? A client referred him.

Well, get someone else, at least for Prine & Prine QC,

We're not shipping dildos here.

Have you been out to see them yet?

Uh, no. I haven't.

They would love a visit from a veteran.

The service records are hot right now.

Wayne...

there is a reason you're the age you are and stuck.

Ambitious ones have more going on

beneath the surface.

Don't be 35 and still making cold calls.

You really think this account needs that much attention?

The biggest pharmaceutical company in this country.

You have any idea how insidious their reach is?

The supply chain's in disarray. Big business needs us.

And you need to focus on freight 24-7.

I focus on freight when I'm fucking my wife.

(LAUGHS)

(INDISTINCT SPEECH)

Take some gear, go see your client,

and do your job.

Aye, aye, captain.

(SIGHS)

(GRUNTS)

No speeding. That's a company car.

Got it.

(THUDS)

(GROANS)

Fuck!

(♪♪♪)

(SCREECH)

Oh! Oh, oh, oh.

Thank you.

It looked a lot more stable before I picked it up.

Nobody asked you to make a move, baby dick.

I meant the stack.

I'm-- I'm sorry your load is late.

Yeah, the driver fell asleep.

No, no, like, in a parking lot or something.

Well, yeah, he's a driver, not a doctor.

(LAUGHS)

You get it?

(PHONE HANGS)

Dumbass.

Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Thanks, buddy.

-(INDISTINCT CHATTER) -(FOOTSTEPS RECEDES)

Oh, shit.

You wanna go on a ride with me real quick?

KELLSTROM: Bringin' the new guy on reops?

RAQUEL: Welcome to logistics.

I guess it started back in college.

Where you and Wayne sold Studyall

to students cramming for exams.

You took the fall and Wayne transferred.

Everyone experiments in college.

Pushing speed on desperate college students?

Push?

What push?

You were caught selling it outside of the library.

Do you know how supply and demand works?

So Wayne enters the workforce.

He doesn't even need to switch up his Rolodex

to keep his side gig.

Tell me about his supplier Hoppy.

Mm, Hoppy.

She never met a drug she couldn't sell.

RAQUEL: Zannies, uppers, downers, coke,

kitty coke, mescaline, mini thins, whippets,

boobs, buttons,

over the counter decongestants, barbiturates.

I don't even know what barbiturates are.

Well, barbiturate is--

RAQUEL: Hoppy sold ‘em.

Unkies, fluff, K-hole, poor man's ecstasy,

hippy crack, Lucy, crissy,

Molly, Miss Emma, Mr. Blue,

blue silk, blue meanies, jenkem.

Oh, if you don't know what jenkem is,

please look it up.

Battery acid, dollies, Mexican brown, China white,

green K, red dexies, red devils, red rock,

peppies, skippies, fizzies, whizzies.

Wayne kept it low key for a while,

hustlin' Studyall at the office,

because let's face it,

ADD-stricken freight brokers rip through that shit.

And he probably would have kept things mellow

until one day she asked him to level up some Oxycocet,

some Fentanyl.

KELLSTROM: Can you stay on the point?

I've got the supply, your office has the demand.

Synergy.

Oh, you know, the speed, it's-- it's harmless.

Shit, you know, shit's helpin' my customers a lot, but, um...

Huh?

This is, uh, this is kinda different.

Don't be such a little bitch.

I'm not.

Like, they can't cop it without you.

She's got a point, Wayne.

Oh, I can just see the headlines,

“Wayne Poss's limp dick wins the war on drugs.”

Hey, when you're done being such a boner killer,

will you let me know?

In the meantime, spread these around the office.

See how easy it is.

(OBJECT CLATTERS)

Good stuff.

Yo, we got this.

Let's go, Big Guy.

Hasta la vista, dickheads.

(TRAIN RUMBLING)

(BUS HISSES)

(HORN HONKING)

(♪♪♪)

Work the leads.

It's a numbers game.

They give you a dictionary with your training manual?

No?

Well, get a dictionary.

Look up “synergy”.

They have drugs to sell.

We have jails to fill.

(MIMICS EXPLOSION)

Synergy.

They teach you about supply and demand at the academy? Huh?

No, but I wasn't dropped on my head as a child.

Well, I was.

Help me find the supply.

Huh?

You gonna help me?

KELLSTROM: It's my job.

Yeah, okay, good. That's good.

You're gonna do all right around here.

KELLSTROM: Is that all?

No, that's all.

KELLSTROM: Okay.

(SLURPS)

I'm at the service center five days a week plus this shit.

Who is that?

It's Big Guy. We work together.

RAQUEL: Oh, I pay for those, dude.

WAYNE: Hey, cut it out!

(BLOWS PIPE)

Hey, look at me. We're go-- It's gonna be like old times.

(SCOFFS)

Where I get arrested and you don't.

Uh, dude, can-- can you not?

Those are-- those are for the kids.

If you could just leave them. Seriously.

No, uh, it's cool.

I got a buddy that-- that makes these.

I'll sell them for cheap.

Where did you find him?

Uh, uh, he's going to frighten the children.

Look at me. Please look at me.!

Don't worry about him.

We're not gonna be drivin' around the city dealing drugs

to college kids.

We're just gonna be slinging some shit to co-workers

once in a while.

(SCOFFS)

I don't know shit about logistics.

It'll be like a promotion. Come on. I got this.

You in?

(SIGHS)

All right, I take that as a yes. All right?

Yo, Big Guy, let's go!

Come on.

Take that shit off, man.

Take it off.

Oh, dude, oh, I'ma gonna grab this.

Happy birthday to me, bitches!

Hey, Monday, 9:00 a.m., all right?

Sectorem Logistics.

I'll text you.

-(MOTORCYCLE WHIRRING) -(TRAFFIC PASSES BY)

(♪♪♪)

How'd you get in here?

Door was open.

Gotta be more careful lockin' up.

People might steal your stuff.

Didn't I tell you to quit calling me baby dick

at the office?

(CHUCKLES)

I had to.

This new recruiter on my team was like,

“Wayne is Wayne, uh, landing Big Pharma accounts.”

Well, Wayne's the man.

(CHUCKLES)

It's like my uncle who's 6'7", and everyone calls him Tiny.

Okay, stop talking about Tiny, please.

‘Cause this is mine.

Stayin' the night or what?

I can't. I have a networking thing at 8:00.

I just came by on my way.

Do I need to get my vibrator, or were you gonna, like...

Yeah, no, absolutely.

(GRUNTS)

(♪♪♪)

(♪♪♪)

Best time of the day!

♪ Ring-a-ding ding-a-ding-a-ding ding-a-ding-a-ding dong♪

Doing great, champ.

(CHUCKLES)

Yeah, no, I'm sorry I can't physically

make a truck move faster.

No, I can see that on the screen.

(BELL RINGING)

Hey.

Thanks, sweets.

Yeah, all right, great.

Well, fortunately for you in this land of opportunity,

if you didn't like my rate, you didn't have to take it.

You know what you did.

Hey, baby.

Did you, uh, get my email?

The one that you just sent three minutes ago

that said “no rush”?

Yeah.

Um, roll call.

(CLEARS THROAT)

What about it?

Why haven't you been out to P&P?

I don't know. I was worried it wouldn't work out.

Wouldn't work out?

(CHUCKLES)

How could it possibly not work out for you?

Jesus Christ.

You're the worst white man in America.

That's not racist.

That's reality.

And no, it's not fair, but neither

is a reality where people fail upwards,

wives lie to their husbands, and Big Pharma can smack us

around with their big battering ram cocks.

(DWYER SIGHS)

DWYER: Not to worry.

All they care about is their stock price,

which is healthy... (INDISTINCT SPEECH)

Uh, that's good.

Yeah.

(CLEARS THROAT)

If you're not on time, you're late.

And if you're late, you're fired.

I'm kidding. I'm not kidding.

I'm kidding.

I'm not kidding.

RAQUEL: Boss man, good to see you. Happy Monday.

Happy Monday.

Monday fun day.

That's right!

(CHUCKLES)

Hey, Big Guy, real quick.

Uh, what's it like havin' a kid?

Daisy?

Yeah. How expensive are they?

Ugh, kids with Ashley. Gross.

I'm convinced I have a tapeworm.

The school system never really taught me about a tapeworm.

So I'm thinkin' maybe it's not so bad, right?

I mean, it does help with digestion, you know?

It's a predatory leech.

Sucks the soul from the inside out.

And so's a kid.

(SIGHS)

How'd you get through that shit so quick?

Hell, shit flew.

BIG GUY: Speedy delivery service? My ass.

I've been waitin' on this driver forever.

Come on, man! I just wanna know where my sandwich is.

All right. I'm out of here. Uh, who's coming with?

Oh, I'm in.

Not me. I got food on the way. Later, losers.

I gotta feed the dogs, by the way.

WAYNE: You know what you need?

A freakin' dog shelter.

Shit, idiot. Why do you think I'm working?

Yo.

Every minute you wait, my cheese coagulates.

Come on, buddy!

Oh, my fucking God, Wayne.

If the average IQ is 100, you are a healthy 85.

It is simple logistics.

Logistics, huh? Two-tail.

Our connection in Canada?

He's got a surplus, but he doesn't wanna drive it

across the border.

How big's the pickup?

400K.

I mean, he's got more up there. I just don't have the cash.

What if I go in on it with you, and then I-- I go pick it up?

Whatever tickles your pickle.

Wayne.

If you get 200K, you could easily triple it.

When's the pickup?

Next week.

How do you plan on driving it across the border?

I don't.

Come on.

RAQUEL: Just makin' a pickup.

It's in a different country.

Oh, gee, thanks.

Me working in shipping, I wouldn't know that.

You don't have $200,000.

I withdrew 150K today.

Oh, let me see that bottle opener.

See?

Wait.

Why did you bring $150,000 to the table?

Easy money, ho.

You're goin' alone?

No, no, I bring Big Guy. Yeah?

I can manage.

You couldn't manage a Buffalo Wild Wings

if you wanted to.

I'll go.

No.

Then why am I here?

Hand to hands in the office.

Oh, so you have this random guy put up all the money

and make me do all the work.

It's the oldest arrangement since the invention of money.

Gentiles make Jews do all the work for them.

BIG GUY: That rich people make broke-ass bitches

do tasks for cash.

You know, look. It's all reproductive, you know?

-BIG GUY: Uh, redecorative. -Yeah.

It's reductive.

Oh, it doesn't matter.

We're all gonna split the money three equal ways.

Oh, okay.

So this shit sandwich just gets to use his trust fund and--

It's more of a portfolio now. I've diversified into crypto.

Okay, well, you're still 50K short

and you don't have that much in your little bitch Vermont fund.

We're, uh, we're 10K short.

The shelter deposit?

No.

No.

Easy money, holes in your pockets.

Who else knows about this?

No one.

Ashley?

(LAUGHS)

You don't trust her either.

No, it's not-- it's just-- I mean, no, I just--

I don't think international drug smuggling is a key way

to start a healthy relationship.

Do you?

No, that's literally my point.

KELLSTROM: Just like that.

Here's the deposit for my sad animal hospital.

Wayne's like a brother.

My brother doesn't drive around

with a trunk full of decongestants.

Not what I heard.

You can make a lot of meth with 612 boxes

of Congesti-phed.

It's over the counter.

Mm, it's locked up at the drugstore.

So is shampoo!

And conditioner, and razors.

Failure to repay within 15 days means forfeiture of your land.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I got it.

Uh, you're gonna give me the $30,000 today, correct?

All right, all right.

Wait, you know what?

Before you, like, put pen to paper,

let's think about some things.

Too late. There you go.

Oh. Yep. It's over.

Thank you.

15 days.

(♪♪♪)

(GRUNTS)

(INDISTINCT WHISPERING)

(GRUNTS)

Jeez, this door is stupid.

Hey, babe. A call would have been nice.

Okay.

Uh, yeah, this looks super normal, Wayne.

What are you doing?

(CHUCKLES)

WAYNE: I mean, look, I don't have a choice.

I have to leave tonight.

Uh, you know, I mean, it sounds pretty crazy, but...

Can I have a code name? Can I be Wet Kitten?

Hey, I've been thinking about the future a lot, you know?

I really think that you and I could start a family.

Don't.

Don't.

Oh.

Cool.

Cool?

Sounds cool.

We're talkin' about runnin' drugs here.

Navigating psychos and shit.

I mean, jail time.

I know, but you can earn some money.

I'd like to help.

(CLEARS THROAT)

Okay, how?

I don't know, but we'll figure it out

because I am good at a lot of things.

Hmm.

Like, come here.

(INDISTINCT LYRICS)

(BOTTLES THUDS, SHATTERS)

(CHUCKLES)

Uh, we're gonna get the check.

There is not a cab in sight. Come on.

Uh, no. What are you doin'?

(PHONE BEEPS)

Please, my basement is flooded.

(PHONE BUZZES)

There it is. We got an Uber. It's 15 minutes out.

Wayne, when a girl suggests riding a bike home

because she's wet, you say yes.

I don't-- I don't know how to ride a bike.

What?

I don't know how to ride a bike.

Wow, okay.

We're gonna have to fix that, but not tonight.

Come on, get behind me.

Don't make me beg.

Get behind me.

-All right. -(CHUCKLES)

Let's do it.

Get that ass home.

Oh, yeah.

(GARAGE DOOR OPENS)

(♪♪♪)

Fuck, dang, man! Freakin' door, man!

Always.

Better check that warranty, bud.

Mm, thought it would be bigger.

(GRUNTS)

(GRUNTS)

(FANS WHIRRING)

(LAUGHS)

We're in business, baby.

Precious cargo here, bro.

Oh, fuck, I hope Big Guy fits in this.

Seriously. Wayne, open the hatch, buddy.

(BIG GUY FARTS)

WAYNE: Ugh, what's that smell?

BIG GUY: Your entire ride home if I don't get syrup.

-(CELL PHONE RINGING) -WAYNE: Fine.

DELIVERY DRIVER ON PHONE: What?

WAYNE ON PHONE: We have to move the drop.

DELIVERY DRIVER ON PHONE: Are you out of your mind, dick rag?

Ugh, I don't care how much money you have.

I'm not driving to where--

Where are you even trying to go?

WAYNE ON PHONE: Oh, the shoreline syrup stand.

DELIVERY DRIVER ON PHONE: Oh, man. That's good syrup.

It's not just good on pancakes, you know?

You should try it on ice cream, fresh fruit,

and, oh, yeah, my balls.

Get your ass over here and help me.

Why is that guy such an asshole?

Will you shut your mouth?

Put the box down. Help me go through this shit.

I think we're gonna need a bigger boat.

(LAUGHS)

My God, right?

It's a lot of fuckin' drugs.

Wayne.

Shit, man.

It's leaking.

(INDISTINCT SPEECH)

I know.

Move! Move!

What do you mean? I'm tryin' to-- what the fuck!

Fuck it!

Fuckin' man... (INDISTINCT SPEECH)

Oh, my God, you farted!

Man musk!

Be sure you give us, like, a three-second countdown?

What the hell do you think this is, a space launch?

That was, like, four seconds!

Goddamn it! Fuck it!

-(IMPLOSION) -Oh, fuck!

Wayne!

Wayne!

Wayne!

(BOTH PANT)

RAQUEL: Okay, keep your head like this for 15 minutes.

The entire 15 minutes!

What does that mean?

Hey, how much time do we got?

Until Hoppy collects? I don't know.

No, I meant for breakfast.

It makes me physically ill to be around you.

But you know what?

I have a birthday party I have to shoot.

So, um, can you just give me a ride?

Hey, why did Hoppy have all that Congesti-phed?

Huh?

Seriously, I mean, how does a woman get sick

Living in a cave all day playin' video games?

I don't care, Wayne.

You owe her more money than our lives are worth.

(SIGHS)

You owe me.

You owe him.

You-- you know what? I don't even--

I don't even care about him. I mean, fuck him. Yeah, you!

I don't even know who you are.

Can you just give me a ride, please?

Oh, oh, yes, your majesty.

Just take her to the car, man. Please.

Seemed like that went well. Why didn't you call me?

Why is your head like that?

She just put some eardrops in.

I almost drowned in my submarine.

Do I fail at everything?

‘Cause I just failed again, like every other damn thing.

I mean, do I fail because I-- I don't finish anything?

Whoa. Deep breath.

Talk to me.

What happened?

Are you hurt?

Why was Raquel here?

I just lost $400,000 in every hope that I had

of getting out of this corporate bullshit, okay?

I don't need to hear that stuff.

Just maybe if she hadn't slept with half of Chicago.

We're just friends, Ashley! We're just friends. Okay?

(SMACKING LIPS)

You know what I do when I almost lose half a mil of drug money?

What?

Learn how to ride a bike.

Oh, you want me to learn how to ride a bike right now?

After my meeting.

Keep your head tilted like that the whole time,

or the ear stuff won't work.

The whole time, baby dick.

(SIGHS)

(♪♪♪)

(BANGING ON DOOR)

Move.

(♪♪♪)

Enough, Hoppy. You have to fix this.

Who goes there?

(GRUNTS)

GAME VOICEOVER: Game over.

(PANTING)

Need some water?

What the fuck?

I'm in the middle of my exercise here.

You guys come in. I'm clearly in the zone here.

(♪♪♪)

Hey, hey, hey!

What?

Okay, well, if you'll excuse me,

I'm gonna go teach my boyfriend how to ride a bike.

He can't ride a bike?

What an idiot.

So freakin' embarrassing, man.

Would you rather I put your--

- No. -Training wheels back on?

You just got my beard in here.

Don't be a pussy.

Okay, so just pedal towards me really fast and don't stop.

You make it all the way to me, I'll give you your juice box.

Freaking juice box.

ASHLEY: Good.

Goo-- Whoa! Okay.

Careful, careful, careful.

Steady.

Hey.

Yes, you're doing it!

I got it!

-Oh, shit! -(SCREAMS)

Oh, God!

Okay, walk it off, baby, walk it off.

Yeah, we handle all the shipments

for Prine & Prine.

I just need a little bit of info from you,

and we'll-- we'll make the arrangements.

Four pallets of Congesti-phed?

Sure, we, uh, we ship all over the U.S.,

wherever your Congesti-phed--

Wherever your Congesti-phed needs to go,

we can get it there.

Indeed.

All right.

KELLSTROM ON PHONE: Both leads were dead ends for me.

How about you?

What?

Where are you right now?

I'm at the lake, collecting evidence.

KELLSTROM ON PHONE: Are you eating?

Mm-hmm.

KELLSTROM ON PHONE: All right, okay, we're going to need to find something soon,

because I don't have--

Uh, yeah.

KELLSTROM ON PHONE: Real evidence.

All right, bye. Call you back.

(PHONE HANGS UP)

(BURPS)

No.

What do you mean “no”?

No.

We're not even actually stealing any drugs.

It's just an ingredient of drugs from a Fortune 500 company.

Why are you two even here?

Well, this is where I gotta ship the pallets.

Uh, this isn't a drugstore.

WAYNE: No shit, I mean, but P&P does

so much business with Sectorem Logistics

that a few missing pallets here and there,

no one's gonna even notice.

We sure the drivers are gonna come here?

We dispatch the drivers.

Dude, have you not been dispatching any of the drivers?

Mm-mm.

Well, point is, you can have ‘em ship it anywhere.

Let me give you guys a 101

on when it comes to logistics, okay?

30-day training course in just two minutes. Come here.

Like, take a semi-truck.

Actually, no, make it a box truck.

WAYNE: All over town, local drivers make pickups.

A pallet of Congesti-phed here, sex toys there, whatever.

A mixed bag of freight.

Then these grumpy drivers bring ‘em to the local terminal

where they're stirred into a freight bouillabaisse

with all the other local pickups.

At this point, they're sorted, and our pallet is put on

another truck with other freight going the same

general direction across the country.

Along the way, they stop at every major city's terminal

where they're again unloaded and sorted

by underpaid gig workers

with no benefits or job security,

makin' $10 an hour, minus bathroom breaks,

who are perpetually running behind.

Our pallet is loaded onto yet another truck

until it reaches the delivery terminal

where it's again unloaded, and put onto another local truck

where a geographically different but equally stressed-out driver

makes the final drop.

Now, if you have a shipment going 1,000 miles,

it can be unloaded and reloaded four extra times.

All right, that's a dozen extra sets of hands on it.

Might as well shriek wrap ‘em in red tape.

It's just such a clusterfuck.

That's the journey of one pallet,

and multiply that by 1,000 times daily.

I mean, literally, supply chain is like a giant clown orgy.

Not funny clowns, just the sad clowns.

But at this point in the journey, what I do

is I revise the bill of lading, set up a new delivery address.

What is that called, Big Guy?

Uh. Uh...

WAYNE: Come on, dude, it's fuckin' easy.

Our plan to steal pallets?

Reconsignment, man.

It's French for change of course.

Fuck yeah.

Wait, why are they gonna change course?

WAYNE: Well, because it says in the paperwork,

“Bill Sectorem Logistics.”

Obey the money.

WAYNE: Exactly.

I'm a little over my head here, Raquel.

Yeah, shocking.

Just get me my money back, man.

This isn't fun anymore.

What crawled up your cooter?

RAQUEL: A lot, dude.

I thought it was a solid plan. I-- I even drew it all out.

BIG GUY: I think you need to invite her to the clown orgy.

(SIGHS)

DISAPPOINTED BANKER ON PHONE: Sir, I-- I told you it's no longer your land.

WAYNE: Yes, I know, I get it.

I'm just curious if anyone's tried to buy it out.

DISAPPOINTED BANKER ON PHONE: Sir, please, please, stop calling me.

You don't have it?

No.

But wait!

I have somethin' for you.

It's in my car.

Fine.

Let's go play outside, kids.

I need finished product, Wayne.

Who was gonna cook this?

That idiot?

400K by the first.

And in case you forget how deep my reach is...

You reach him now.

What?

(WAYNE SCREAMING)

That's also figurative. Okay, pumpkin?

(WHIMPERS)

IVR VOICEOVER 1: Thank you for holding. We will be with you shortly.

Yo, I've got another idea.

Uh-huh?

PHARMACY REPRESENTATIVE: Thank you for holding.

Your Fentanyl prescription is ready for pickup.

Peddlin' prescription pills.

PHARMACY REPRESENTATIVE ON PHONE: Sir, I'm still on the phone.

(LAUGHS)

(DIALTONE RINGING)

Like, I'm not suggesting we roam around Washington Park

with opioids in a Pez dispenser.

Not yet.

I mean, we could just dish it around the office

to the coworkers and, um, give the bulk to Hoppy.

Look, we've gotta pay this deranged nerd

her money back.

(SCRUNCHES)

Probably just sittin' there playing video games

right now anyway.

Hey.

Those are my nan's.

Shut up.

It's only the green ones? What, do they have other colors?

It's like Skittles.

Hey, you know what, scumbag?

When I was a kid, we used to steal candy,

not ingredients to make meth.

Was meth even a thing in the Cretaceous Period?

(LAUGHING)

Shut up!

Phew-hoo! She told you.

I thought you said this was not

goin' to be a meeting discussing other meetings.

Okay, no.

Two shakes, that's all you get.

Well, that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.

No, this definitely-- Hang on just a second.

Let me, take-- I'll come back.

Okay.

ASHLEY: Well, this could have been an email.

(INDISTINCT LYRICS IN BACKGROUND)

ASHLEY: Wayne?

Where is this?

Vermont.

I used to own five acres out there.

Well, so, like, what is it?

Is this, like, a place where you take other women?

A stabbin' cabin?

For Ashley?

Yeah, I first thought it would-- would be a tiny house.

How were you gonna pay for it?

Tiny mortgage?

No, when I started workin' over at Sectorem,

I thought maybe you, and I could, um,

bundle up a couple shipping containers together.

(SIGHS)

I was an architecture major for one semester.

What happened?

That ship sailed on a sea of Coors Light.

So, I mean, when you said that you used to own it,

what do you mean you used to?

Oh, uh...

that money went down on a different ship.

Let's get it back.

I'll do my best.

(♪♪♪)

Wall Street called.

What, the whole street?

Our investors are pissed, Wayne!

Why? Revenue's up.

DWYER: Call numbers are not!

A monkey could be trained to dial the phone.

Maybe we should get your girlfriend

to start hiring monkeys!

All right, follow me. I'll go tell her.

Not so fast!

All those drugs you're moving are really working out.

Prine & Prine.

Also, we need to talk about your monthly goal.

(SCOFFS)

What about it?

DWYER: We need to raise it to 400,000.

(LAUGHS)

You just gave it to me at the start of the month!

That's a gift!

(GIBBERS)

Table for one! And don't use that word.

That offends my gypsy heritage.

You can't just double my goal out of the blue, man!

You know, in the old days, a worker's goal for tomorrow

was based on their production for today.

So, if you picked 80 pounds of cotton today,

your goal, for tomorrow would be 90.

Did you really just say cotton?

You're talkin' about slavery, man!

The system worked.

The system did not work!

DWYER: They made money.

Oh, God.

This is fuckin' bullshit! You know it, man.

Prine & Prine.

Visit!

Oh.

Hey, fellas.

I need a nap.

(GRUNTS, SIGHS)

Grit, hustle, execute, success.

Nap.

You need a prescription for pills.

So, where they comin' from?

Mexico?

Oh.

Hmm?

These, uh, Mexican knockoffs?

These are the real deal!

Straight from the drug companies.

Like, oxycodone, Fen, the greatest hits.

So-- so no needles?

Not when they're floodin' in like a sorority party.

Stop harassing our citizens.

I don't wanna be on the news for this shit.

BORDEAUX: So, they're not, uh, shoplifting them then, huh?

Maybe they're falling off trucks.

Of what?

Just tryin' to help you.

RAQUEL: So what, you a manager now?

Well, Dwyer groomed me like a dog.

What, are you gonna start harassing us with call numbers?

You're gonna bring your stupid little

lunch in a yoga bag, like--

(FARTING SOUND ON MEGAPHONE)

Where are we on those pharma leads?

I can't get this lady on the phone.

What lady?

This lady right here? You fucking useless queef.

Hey, uh, there's a number. Hang on a second.

Hey, my guy.

Drugs, please.

(DIALTONE RINGING)

MIDWEST OPIOIDS REPRESENTATIVE ON PHONE: Midwest Opioids. How can I help you?

SALES REP MIKE: Yeah, I'm looking for Joanne Reynolds.

Yeah, this is the principal at her son's school.

There's been a horrific accident.

MIDWEST OPIOIDS REPRESENTATIVE ON PHONE: Oh, my God, yes! Please hold.

Yes, yes, yes. I'll hold.

That's how it's done. You fucking ball bag.

God, this fucking cast stinks.

You guys can suck me.

JOANNE ON PHONE: Hello?

Joanne! Have I got good news for you.

I feel like I'm scrubbing the world's largest toilet

with the world's smallest toothbrush.

Come on. Canvassing junkies and shoplifters one at a time

is a great idea.

1992, I was one.

There's a digital footprint out there, Bordeaux.

Breadcrumbs, rookie, seriously?

Come on. Nice try.

Think!

That barista said something.

No, yeah, let's listen to the burnout

who, for sure queefed in your iced coffee

instead of listening to your partner.

That's a great idea.

Check out the trucking companies and...

brokerages.

Anyone in particular?

Yeah, whoever's orchestrating it,

they are strictly business.

Serious mind.

Hey, when the fuck's Raquel getting here?

Uh, her sores are probably flarin' up again.

Well, who's gonna make the rounds then?

Hey, you think I gotta pay extra for them

to sedate the lions when I'm on safari

so that it's easier for me to kill ‘em?

Remember when you asked,

“Why doesn't your downtrodden friend like me?”

I believe my exact words were,

“What's that broke chick's problem?”

This is why.

(♪♪♪)

Do you have a format that should be thrown off a bridge?

You wanna know what the two most important words to success are?

-What's that? -Pay special.

Ooh, yeah, thank you, baby dick.

That's what I'm talkin' about.

Wayne, you have a client visit to get to.

P&P is pissed. Something about shortages.

Did he just call you baby dick?

Hey, Suzanne, did you get the, um, email

from the, uh, s-- uh, about the thing?

Sam--

I gotta make a stop first, boss. I'll meet you there.

Maybe don't treat me like a horse.

What? You're not a horse.

(SIGHS)

Just-- if you're gonna take a week off the shitty job,

give me a heads up, you know?

Give me a text, a call, something, a smoke signal.

Okay, okay.

How are you feelin' about Prine & Prine?

Nervous.

Meeting's in an hour.

What? Why now?

They wanna discuss the missing shipment,

but it's cool, okay? It's cool.

They don't even have to prove that you're jacking skids.

They'll just suggest it and then game over.

We're not at that point yet.

I mean, the client's been paid for.

Some EVP just wants to make sure we're addressing it.

(SCOFFS)

I should go.

Oh, my gosh! No, I'm so sorry. You're totally good.

WAYNE: Wow, I actually thought she had an excuse this time.

I do. I have a sore throat.

(COUGHS)

I'm so sorry.

DWYER: Just remember, every carrier screws up at some point.

Freight happens.

As long as we own it, they'll forgive us.

I bet my reputation

these guys are intrinsically good.

No, these people are a soulless corporation

that prey on disease and winks.

Maybe at a holistic level, sure, but not logistics.

How can I help you?

Don't be nervous.

Mr. Dwyer.

Call me Dick.

Oh, I sure will.

Pleasure.

And Mr. Poss, is it?

Oh, uh, what happened there?

Just um...

minor accident, a mistake.

Oh, God, I hope you learned from it.

Please, um, take a seat.

Thank you so much for taking the time

to meet with us.

We understand how busy your schedule is.

I just want to start by saying

we are committed to your business

and servicing your account.

I think about freight 24/7, and so does Wayne.

Yeah, I'm gonna stop you right there.

I really don't care about a couple of missing pallets.

You don't?

You know, it's drops in a bucket,

and I'm willing to concede a few losses.

I need you to cut my spending by 15%.

15?

Uh, yeah.

Well, let's get to it!

(CLEARS THROAT)

HOPPY: Let's make money.

Mr. Poss, thank you.

WAYNE: I-- I'll call.

Great to see you.

Have a nice day, Dick.

A real pleasure.

Hey, Mr. Poss, I'll be watching you.

Wait, Big Pharma is using freight brokers?

RAQUEL: To push more pills.

Doit! Case closed!

(DIALTONE RINGING)

BIG GUY ON PHONE: What's up, baby dick?

Hey, I just finally got to visit a freaking client.

And guess what?

It's that bitch-ass drug dealer I owe a fortune to!

BIG GUY ON PHONE: Hoppy didn't sink yourself, though.

No, she just gets half the city's brokers

high as balls,

and then dangles a carrot in my face,

knowin' I couldn't resist.

BIG GUY ON PHONE: P&P wants us to leave, man.

Hoppy can demand even more.

Now, dude, that's some synergy.

The fuck do you know, you fat bastard?

(GRUNTS, YELLS)

Fuck you, Big Pharma!

(SOBS)

What did you do? What did you do?

Fuck!

I'm cold.

Are you?

Yeah.

Get in.

Hi.

I'll be right back.

So, how long is the wait?

(FLUSHES)

Hey, you just took a two.

You're not gonna wash your hand-- okay.

Really? Freakin' bathroom?

I mean, there's gotta be rules against that kinda shit.

Rules?

(GROANS, GRUNTS)

Hoo-hoo!

What do you want?

Equilib-- equili-- Oh, fuck me.

You almost had it! Equilibrium?

Equilibrium!

Yeah, I want equilibrium.

Okay, so what?

Hoppy doesn't pay jack shit.

She said some gibberish about below equilibrium salaries.

Okay, quit! Why do you work for her?

It's Big Pharma!

She starts talkin' economic this and Adam Smith that,

and blah, blah, blah!

So, I'm thinkin', while you're out there slingin' them pills,

carve out ten grand a week, for me as well.

(SCOFFS)

Whoa, whoa!

What?

Buddy, hold up there.

You have any idea what you're up against here, Wayne?

Yeah, pretty girl out there.

Yeah, she's fine.

Hey, now, that's against the rules!

(GIBBERS)

Shut up, Wayne!

Not sure you're in any position to be a hard ass.

Neither are you. Your fly's undone.

Oh, what?

OH, Shit!

Bitch!

Can't believe you fell for that shit!

You seriously hit me?

Yeah, I did.

Oh, my God.

Stay away from my girlfriend, you hear me?

Seriously!

But seriously, I'll shoot your fucking dick.

SHANE: Okay, okay, I get it, I get it, I get it.

Oh, my God! You made me bleed!

Question, would a blowjob help us get a table?

‘Cause my boyfriend would love to.

-Okay, we gotta go. -No, wait!

No, no, we need to go.

-Why? -Just come!

No, I wanna eat here!

No, I'll take you somewhere else!

I'm hungry!

I'll get you some pizza anywhere you want,

just not here!

Okay, I do want pizza.

All right, good. Pizza it is.

I really need to get out of this shit, babe.

Who are you gonna go to, the FDA?

WAYNE: What do you want me to do?

Get shot in the face by some simp?

They're not gonna shoot you if you play ball.

You just gotta keep the sales up until we're out of this.

Where?

Wayne.

You just have to balance both for a bit.

You know, once you pay your debt off, then we're done.

It's over.

Plus, you're making more at Sectorem, too.

Just sitting in sales management meetings all day

while people throw out buzzwords that sound more smart?

Babe, it's all synergies and systemic paradigms

of cooks in the kitchen who wear too many hats.

And if they're not busy throwin' people on the buses,

they're chasin' after low-hanging fruit

with a plug-and-play system to make things more scalable,

streamlined, you know?

Sustainable.

What?

Oh, God! Oh, fuck!

Oh yeah.

Hey, hey.

(♪♪♪)

Bam!

Customer call?

The fuck are you doing'?

hmm.

Oh, getting my talk time up.

You've been listening to that shit for nine minutes.

RAQUEL: Mm-hmm.

You know, you got a headset on,

and you're mainlining this shit right into your brain.

I'm disappointed in you, Wayne.

You underestimate the lengths I'll go through

to not do this job.

You know what? I feel like celebrating.

So, bam.

Mm. I got my own shit.

IVR VOICEOVER 2 (ON PHONE): Max call time exceeded. Goodbye.

WAYNE: Perfecto timing.

Hey, want some?

Nah. I brought my own.

RAQUEL: Give me one of those.

Nope.

What do you mean “no”?

I shared all of my food with you yesterday.

BIG GUY: Uh, you didn't share anything. I taxed you.

What? I swear--

All right, guys, cheers!

Yeah, cheers.

That's what I'm talkin' about.

I need that baby dick special, dude.

Uh, can't do it, man. We're out.

What are you talkin' about?

Just, like, put up, like, one or two.

What about you two fuckin' dick tips?

You have nothing? One or two? Come on! Huh?

Mike.

Mike. You okay?

Yo, Mike.

You all right?

Mike! You all right?

SALES REP MIKE: Yeah, dude, I'm good.

I'm super good.

I got, like, two hookers at lunch.

So they'll be back, like, three grand.

I'll make it back in ten minutes on the phone.

No one's got anything? None of you guys?

Fuck you, number one. Both of you can suck me.

You know what? You can suck me

from the back, you fat shit.

This plant? Yeah, it's my plant now.

Okay.

Don't.

(SCOFFS)

Yeah.

(GRUNTS)

Goddamn.

I gotta take this to Hoppy.

Here, um take her some swag.

I don't know about Mike, guys.

ANNOUNCER: Doors closing.

(♪♪♪)

Jesus, come the fuck on, man.

I didn't get a thank you email after your last visit.

Granted, I am threatening you and your loved ones,

but let's not abandon civility.

(CHUCKLES)

There's the rest of the final payment. I'm out.

Oh--

You ready for lunch?

You know what?

Take a shirt.

Oh, Mr. Poss here handles transportation of our products,

some distribution.

No, not-- not anymore.

(CHUCKLES)

You're walking away from your largest client?

Fuck you.

I don't give a shit about your evil business.

I'm done with it.

(CHUCKLES)

Everybody says that about Big Pharma.

Evil, sinister, propagating addiction.

You know, we-- we don't cure anything.

We just-- we just give you more pills.

I mean, yes, if a wonder drug, like, did its job,

yeah, we would not have our jobs.

But you know what?

No one considers the invaluable role

that we play in this country.

Four and a half million people earning a living in our realm,

and accruin' debt, goin' to college,

buying homes, spending.

I mean, you take the Big Pharma brick

out of the wall, that is the American economy,

oh, I mean, the whole thing just-- just crashes down.

Well said.

Yeah, we're a crucial piece.

And you rip off drivers, you degrade dock workers,

belittle dispatchers for your progressions

and commissions,

and then you just recline in your Herman Miller chairs,

arguin' about fantasy football

and where you're gonna order lunch from.

You are just another spoke on the corporate wheel.

Well, you know, the thing is about spokes,

if you lose one, the whole wheel just collapses.

And that is exactly why you're not quitting anything.

But hey, thanks for the swag.

I love swag.

I heard you served our country.

Call me sometime.

Fuckin' bitch.

No. No, no.

I wasn't talking about-- about you.

(♪♪♪)

I have a feeling that they're gonna leave you alone.

(CHUCKLES)

I didn't know we were telling jokes today.

Ha-ha, well, here's one.

My boyfriend rides me better than he rides a bike.

Hey, come on now.

Come on, meet me in the middle of the court!

KELLSTROM: Tough spot.

Caught in the middle between Big Pharma

and her boyfriend?

RAQUEL: Uh-huh. No, she's a snake.

KELLSTROM: What's your deal with her?

-Jealous? -(RAQUEL SCOFFS)

RAQUEL: Yeah, right, she's a Tuesday for me.

She just came out of nowhere, and now he's just different.

She's fake.

Even if she didn't actively deceive people

to suck them into a corporate hellscape.

KELLSTROM: It's called recruiting.

RAQUEL: Right.

She's just so-- I don't know, shame on the last generation

for not pulling out more.

(♪♪♪)

What the fuck you tell her?

Huh? Did you tell her we know each other?

Cool it, baby dick.

Hey, Wayne, baby, are you okay?

Yeah, babe, everything's just fine!

-(GRUNTS) -Oh, God!

Prick.

SHANE: Baby dick!

(SHANE GROANS)

Get some training wheels, you little bitch!

Fuck you!

SHANE: Fuck you!

(GROANS)

What are you lookin' at?

Stop lookin', I'm part of Big Pharma, motherfucker!

I'm gonna throw up.

KELLSTROM: So you and your little posse were being followed?

RAQUEL: Followed.

Stalked.

What's the difference?

You could've come to us.

Hey, officer, the guys we're dealing drugs for

are askin' us to deal more drugs!

Send help!

Beep, boop, boop.

(SCOFFS)

Better than this.

A pair of concrete shoes,

divers found at the bottom of Lake Michigan.

I love Chicago.

(CHUCKLES)

Or this.

Hoppy literally had it sewn into the guy's chest.

(RETCHES)

Wait, that's actually pretty clever.

Oh, my God, I thought you would be alarmed!

RAQUEL: Look at me.

You really think I care anymore?

Now you ruined my lunch, so thank you so much.

What's that?

Take a look at this shit.

What the fuck is this?

Ogre Sentry.

Yeah, it's got to be Greaves.

Harvest Hand.

(BIG GUY PANTING)

Jesus.

Guys, Daisy.

WAYNE: What about Daisy?

BIG GUY: They-- they're threatening my daughter!

WAYNE: Fuck, is she all right?

Don't.

What the fuck, man?

Is she all right?

Is she all right?

Huh, she's good. She's good.

What the hell's on your shirt, man?

Honey barbecue sauce.

Oh, Jesus fucking Christ! What, do we kill them both?

No, double murder doesn't solve anything.

Wait, is that what double murder is?

That you kill two people?

-What else-- -...please.

Would that mean?

Well, like, a more severe type.

-Like, a worse degree? -Yeah.

-Who is this guy? -Goddammit, babe, that hurts.

Like, you kill ‘em and then you're not satisfied,

so you dig ‘em up and you kill ‘em again?

-...shit. -That's a fuckin' double murder.

We're not killin' no one, not once or twice.

Nothing changes.

Status quo.

Agreed.

Oh, at least I got this joint in my hair.

Here. Yes, please. I need some of that, please.

Don't ever touch my weed, I swear to God.

So, we're really talkin' about firing Mike.

(DEVICE BEEPS)

Have you seen his numbers lately?

You can't put in a European effort

and expect Asian results.

Oh, my God, you know how racist you sound?

Don't judge me.

Judgy Wudgy was a Wayney.

Jesus Christ.

Look--

(GRUNTS)

I don't wanna fire him either.

I was hoping we could get him to quit.

I even researched bullying techniques.

All I could find was page after page

of prevention methods.

Look, Wayne.

-(DEVICE BEEPS) -Ugh!

If we don't burn him, I can't churn.

Plus, I think he's on drugs.

And that worries me.

Well, if we're so concerned about his health,

shouldn't we try to help him?

-(LAUGHS) -What?

I don't give two shits about his health.

It's affecting his numbers.

Why can't they do blow, like when I was a sales rep?

You touch screen, Gen Z,

LGPDQ, this, them, they, us,

pronoun addicted, mumble rap, opioid using.

Oh, my God.

(GRUNTS)

Fine. I'll go fire his ass then.

Me.

This will be good for you, Wayne.

And firing someone is a rite of passage.

It'll be, like, your bat mitzvah,

only instead of getting circumcised,

you'll actually grow a pair.

(LAUGHS)

This feels like a mistake.

Mike! Mike! Wait!

Whoa! Hoo! Hoo!

Whoa! Whoa!

Oh. Uh, it wasn't herpes.

All clear. You're all good!

What? What was it then?

Have a good life, man!

(SIGHS)

Actually, dude, will you, uh,

will you take me to the police station?

(♪♪♪)

(INDISTINCT CHATTER IN BACKGROUND)

What?

(MIKE CLEARS THROAT)

Get your notepad out.

Wayne.

You animal.

I had no idea.

(CHUCKLES)

WAYNE: Jesus, will you quit dickin' around, man?

How did you sneak those in here?

I didn't.

Wait, I didn't.

Where's the package slip?

Where's the package slip?

Here. Wait.

Wait. Uh, what number do you have?

I got 98523329.

RAQUEL: Wait. Wait, wait. Mine ends in 326, which means...

Wait.

Means-- means all of these are dildos.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

(♪♪♪)

You know the sex shop Slippery Carrot, right?

I resent that implication.

Also, yes.

Knew it.

They were expecting a shipment of dildos.

Got pills instead.

Bummer.

-Bill of landing? -Lading.

Lading.

Digital.

Tell me it was a local freight brokerage.

It was a local freight brokerage.

It was a local freight brokerage.

Yeah. Hey, that's my coffee cup.

Oh.

Hey, that's mine!

Local dispatcher stonewalling us.

You mind pullin' out a little bit of your, uh, female charm?

Mm, you're about four words from bein' a pimp, Wayne.

No.

Fine. I'll do it.

-(KEYS DIALING) -(DIALTONE RINGING)

C. FOSTER TRACKING REPRESENTATIVE ON PHONE: C. Foster Trackin'.

Hi, yeah, can I get a tracking update

for Pro 98523329?

C. FOSTER TRACKING REPRESENTATIVE ON PHONE: That's been turned over to Detective Bordeaux.

Great. Thanks, Wayne. We're all going to jail.

No, no, we're not. We're good. We're not.

Maybe you could use your service record, you know,

and get a little pull with the police?

He was kicked out of the Coast Guard!

You're not a goddamn war hero!

Fuck!

Uh, how could you lie about the Coast Guard?

They protect our shores.

(SIGHS)

You do, for what we're doing, you look amazing.

Okay, it's all about who you interview, okay?

You get some buy-the-book suit, all right?

He's likely to clam up.

He's not gonna give you any sensitive info, all right?

But you get some idiot, right,

just running his mouth, blah, blah, blah.

Keep that guy talkin', keep him talkin', okay?

Fingers crossed for the idiot.

All right. Don't let ‘em see you sweat.

You got this.

Beautiful, my favorite shirt.

(CLEARS THROAT)

Uh, come in.

(CHUCKLES)

Mr. Dwyer. Tracy Fisher, SLN.

Please sit.

Quite an operation out there.

Well, the key is maintaining our simplicity.

Uh, success can sometimes breed complications.

Take Pearl Jam's album Ten, the apex of musical progress.

It featured simple song titles.

Once.

Alive.

Huh?

Jeremy.

(HUMS)

Oceans.

Black?

Oh, they blew up and became immensely successful.

Then you get Elderly Woman Sitting Behind the Counter

in a Small Town, which is terrible.

(BOTH LAUGHS)

So dumb.

You know, one of the pillars we based your award on

was service. Care to--

A to Z, baby.

Our team members in tech can handle it all.

Oh, good technology.

The best.

It's web-based.

So our reps can log in and dispatch from anywhere.

I'll give you a-- a demo login

so you can write about its functionality.

Oh, that just sounds wonderful.

Switching gears, how's your claims process?

Don't talk to me about claims. It'll make my penis go soft.

(LAUGHING)

I'm just kidding. You can ask me.

Unfortunately, sometimes product does go missing,

but we settle claims 40% faster than the industry average.

My turn to ask you a question.

How do you ship your magazines?

Well, don't ask me about that. It'll make my clit go soft.

Excuse me?

I'm just kidding. It's above my pay grade.

You freight brokers love to yap.

I wasn't planning on his demo login actually

working, though.

I'm surprised you're surprised.

You ever work for someone who tripped on a banana peel

and landed in the job they shouldn't be doin'?

Oh, he's an idiot. Makes me so angry.

I can't relate.

(SIGHS)

DWYER: (INDISTINCT SPEECH)

(INDISTINCT SPEECH)

Thanks for comin' in.

Thank you, I appreciate your time.

DWYER: Real pleasure to meet you.

KELLSTROM: You, too, have a good day.

DWYER: You, too, thank you.

Uh, that was good.

That's weird, you know, that was good.

The work doesn't do itself.

Get me lunch, coke, chips, turkey club, diet.

He pitched me their services.

BORDEAUX: What about the P&P account?

(CHUCKLES)

Multiple reps entering orders.

Uh, team lead is Wayne Poss,

but we don't know if he's capable.

Why not, who is he?

-Job jumper, quitter. -Mm.

Never finishes anything.

I found transcripts from three colleges.

When he finally graduated,

he enlisted in the US Coast Guard

where he was dishonorably discharged.

From the Coast Guard, is that even possible?

It is possible, I looked it up.

What have you been doing since I've been gone?

Just workin' on my eye-hand coordination.

I'm gettin' a little older and, you know,

I just wanna stay sharp.

What the fuck did he do

to get discharged from the Coast Guard?

He was renting yachts to Germans making fetish films.

Fetish films?

KELLSTROM: I'm sure you're familiar.

Can we get a look at any of these?

Just to see what-- I don't know. Evidence, you know?

KELLSTROM: Yeah, let me just call the president of yachting.

Okay.

(GRUNTS)

-RAQUEL: Wayne! Wayne! -Yeah.

RAQUEL: Wayne!

What? What?

RAQUEL: Sleeping puppies.

I'm here. What?

They're gone!

Sleeping puppies.

Hoppy took the dogs. The crates are empty.

KELLSTROM: They'd have been safe in a shelter.

Seriously?

KELLSTROM: Too bad he lost your deposit.

You know what I don't get is Big Guy's daughter.

Eh, kids suck.

Wayne's hand? He's got another one.

But threaten the mutts?

Mixed breeds, dick.

HOPPY ON PHONE: Yes?

WAYNE: Hoppy, we need to talk.

HOPPY ON PHONE: You don't summon me, I summon you.

Are you looking to adopt a dog?

Better hurry if you wanna hold one.

What the fuck!

What is-- what is-- is this amusing to you?

Please, just-- just come outside!

HOPPY ON PHONE: Look, Wayne, if you're confronting me here,

in my happy place, you better bring a gun.

(PHONE HANGS UP)

(WAYNE SIGHS)

I am flummoxed.

You are in a pivotal place

where you literally make money off your team.

This isn't about money.

It's always about the money, Wayne.

In our free enterprise,

it is driven by supply and demand.

Yeah, well, Adam Smith said the free market only works

if you got a good heart.

Well, uh, what's more good-hearted

than giving people exactly what they want

and having a team do all the dirty work?

Yeah, key word being dirty.

Hey, did you know that 90% of the heroin in our world

comes from poppy fields owned by the Taliban?

You know, I liked you a lot better

when you were just a nerd playing video games.

Yeah, it's funneled from Columbia

and onto our streets.

You and I, Wayne, we are replacing that heroin.

So is that a pellet gun?

What are you gonna do, shoot people with pellets?

Not people, Wayne.

(GROANS)

Children.

Jesus, what in the actual hell are you?

I am a revolutionary!

No, I am a patriot.

If you don't support Big Pharma, then you support the Taliban.

Okay, what about a third option? Huh?

One that doesn't involve fricking horror.

I'm not a drug lord.

(CHUCKLES)

What-- what about thousands of opioids

you have flooded into the streets?

I was just repaying a debt.

If Big Pharma is so bad, Wayne,

why do people go through insane extremes to get in with us?

Oh, and Greaves was telling me about

a certain pretty lady.

No, you keep her and my friends out of this.

I'm beggin' you.

I need you to up the deliveries to eight pallets.

I want these pills to flow like Capri-Sun

at the halftime of a kids soccer game.

You remember when we were kids, the Capri-Suns,

the orange slices?

You want the cards to stop, right?

I need ‘em twice a week.

You better run! You better run!

(KID YELLING)

(INDISTINCT VIDEO GAME VOICE)

BIG GUY: You don't think I could pull off William.

Is it the beard?

RAQUEL: You look like you could jerk off a William.

What the fuck you two talkin' about?

Oh. Oh, us?

We're just talkin' about how we're gonna have to, um,

change our names when we go on the road,

because we're now being stalked by psycho nerds and the police,

thanks to you.

Guys, it-- it's gonna take a while

for the cops to connect the dots to us.

Mm.

Oh, and cheese dick Dwyer, too,

because you know that guy has a sensor on his balls

for every time a shipping gets lost.

What the hell's your problem?

I mean, I'm actively tryin' to fix this shit.

What's my problem?

My problem is you're either gonna get

me arrested or-- or killed, Wayne.

Do you ever think about other people?

Other people, like Mike.

You created a straight up psycho with Mike.

WAYNE: I feel awful about that.

RAQUEL: Mm, mm-hmm.

Yeah, he was meeker than a motherfucker

when I started.

And now if that guy was on House Hunters,

all he would want is a crawlspace. You--

Jesus, I said I feel sorry about it, okay?

RAQUEL: Mm. Mm-hmm.

BIG GUY: You can't quit that account.

Hoppy can lean on you all she wants.

This is so dull. I am out of here.

Yeah, I actually have to go, too.

(CAMERA CLICKING)

Jesus, all I want is a tiny freakin' house, man.

(CHUCKLES)

We have a signed contract, Wayne.

Guaranteeing service levels above 99.5%.

You remember?

Name a fuckin' store or an airline company

or government infrastructure that operates above 70%.

99.5, really?

It's Prine & Prine's contract.

We signed it.

Okay, so what's with the 0.5%? Like, 99 isn't absurd enough?

You just tryin' to be a dick?

Pallets are missing, Wayne.

Find them!

Not so fast.

Success comes when we execute with grit and hustle.

Congratulations on meeting goal.

Yeah, go ahead.

(DINGS)

(♪♪♪)

God, Jesus fucking Christ!

What?

I have to work a birthday party, asshole.

Boo!

(CHUCKLES)

RAQUEL: See ya.

KELLSTROM: Bordeaux.

Yeah?

More deliveries coming.

Oh, pick her up.

Ugh!

(♪♪♪)

Pick up the freakin' phone, Ashley.

Fuck! Fuck!

(PHONE CHIMES)

Come on, come on, come on, come on!

Fuckin' work already!

(PHONE CHIMES)

No. No, no, no, no, no, no.

Ashley! Ashley!

(GASPS)

Door was open.

You gotta be more careful locking up.

People will steal your stuff.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER IN BACKGROUND)

(YAWNS)

Why are you covering for them?

I'm not covering for anyone.

They killed my fucking girlfriend.

(GRUNTS)

Oh, wow.

Look, I'm pretty much a lawyer.

Oh, is that, like, a degree you finished or...

Let's listen to ‘em.

(BEEPS)

KELLSTROM: How long have you worked at Sectorem Logistics?

13 months.

And how long have you really been working at Prine & Prine?

(SIGHS)

Four years.

Your promotion to VP of logistics?

Made official last week.

KELLSTROM ON SPEAKER: And how long have you been married to Shane Greaves?

Three years.

Ouch.

Yeah, they played you, Wayne.

What a drag. I'm so sorry.

We wanna help you, okay? If you just help us.

We arrested the mastermind. Come on, come on. I'll show you.

What are you? What are you, a clown?

WAYNE: Raquel.

Uh, grow up.

And it's like, “Excuse me but I'm the clown,

and, like, I do trick bappa boopity.

She, uh...

She-- she what?

I don't understand. I saw Ashley's blood.

There was blood all over the house.

What?

Ah, the blood!

Yeah, that came back from the lab.

Honey barbecue sauce.

Hmm.

That fat motherfucker.

Who? What? That's not very nice.

What, uh--

Am I under arrest?

Am I under arrest?

Technically?

-No. -No?

No. Uh...

Motherfucker.

Should have said yes.

Should have said yes.

ANNOUNCER: Doors closing.

Hey, don't do anything stupid.

You and Ashley in cahoots, huh? Are you?

I thought we were a fuckin' team, man!

You don't even have a goddamn kid!

Do you even work for Pharma?

I just invest in ‘em. I buy stocks.

The price has never been higher.

Why do you think Ashley put me on your team?

This ain't about the fuckin' stock price!

Grow up, Wayne.

Everything's about the stock price.

Oh, yeah?

What do you think the stock's gonna do when they learn

about P&P's doin' by fuelin' the addiction out here?

(LAUGHING)

It's gonna go up, man.

Come on. Think about it.

Pandemic. Stocks go up.

Racial unrest in the streets. Stocks go up.

Insurrection in the capital. Stocks go up.

Come on, man.

We can't stop the machine.

It just keeps chuggin' along, Wayne.

Now, you can either do something stupid,

like, double murder me off this roof,

or follow me to my car.

(LAUGHING)

Fuck!

(CAR DOOR BEEPING)

Bam!

That's a 100 grand.

You knew I was comin'.

Clown on Big Pharma all you want,

but you're in it now, brother.

You did all of this right from the start ‘cause of greed.

You're letting Raquel sit in jail ‘cause of greed.

And you're gonna take this big fat bag of money

‘cause of greed.

Come on, man. Smell it. Smell it.

Come on, smell it, baby. Come on, Wayne.

Smell me.

Get yourself a new car.

I've seen your apartment. It's real shitty, Wayne.

All right, shut the fuck up, man!

Wayne, come on, dude!

I've seen where you live, bro!

You got security cameras? No, ‘cause you can't afford ‘em!

That's why you need the money!

(SNIFFLES)

Save changes?

Why the fuck not.

The effects of future's purchases on market cities.

We are very proud of the regional spike in volume,

especially here in Chicago.

(WARBLED SPEECH)

(♪♪♪)

(GRUNTS)

Big problem.

Messed up deliveries.

HOPPY: You're interrupting a meeting because of messed up deliveries?

How many?

SHANE: Well, we found 250 so far.

Opioids going to nursing homes and police stations.

Boxes of Congesti-phed goin' to schools by the hundreds.

P&P EXECUTIVE: And?

And our stock?

It's fucking tanked.

Hoo!

Yeah, account 610221.

I have a lot of calls I need to cancel.

And dozens of deliveries still missing.

Where could those pills be?

I don't know.

Oh! Whoa, whoa!

Delivery for Hoppy.

I don't know who them is.

Call my corporate lawyer, please, for me.

You don't work here anymore.

You're firing me?

I'm not a drug dealer!

Who gives a shit about dealing?

Look at our stock.

Look.

Okay. don't... (INDISTINCT SPEECH)

(GRUNTS)

(SLURPS)

So how many more nights are you gonna spend here for Wayne?

It's weird.

Uh, we searched Hoppy's place.

Just a bunch of nerd games.

Wayne's a good guy.

He's a good guy.

Yeah, he's real good.

He, uh, he stole money from a-- a--

a big guy named Big Guy.

(TAKES DEEP BREATHS)

Fortunately, we have a replacement lined up for her.

Well, I hope her replacement

knows as much about freight as she does.

He should.

He's from a local logistics company.

I have met him.

Well, where is he?

Why are you protecting P&P?

I mean, P&P has already rebounded

with their stock after the announcement

of a new transportation executive. What is this?

KELLSTROM: Probably a manifesto.

“Dear Detective Bordeaux,

you can release Raquel.

She didn't set up a single shipment or steal a single pill

from Prine & Prine.

You'll find printouts of all the orders

in the envelope.

You can tell from the corresponding

IP addresses that I entered them from my apartment

while you were balls deep--”

Wow!

“In profiling Raquel and had her in jail.”

Wow, this kinda answers a lot of questions, doesn't it?

KELLSTROM: That is gross. Either a submarine or a penis.

-BORDEAUX: It's kinda cute. -KELLSTROM: There's a P.S.

Yeah. Oh. “P.S.

It would be wrong for that fat fuck

to keep his 100 grand.”

(CHUCKLES)

Oh, come on. What--

Oh. uh...

That's not what we wanted to be in there.

What-- what is going on?

Oh, no!

No, don't-- no, don't, no!

(SIGHS)

(♪♪♪)

Raquel, where is Wayne Poss?

Sorry, I'm late. I got lost on my way over.

Every team needs a Jew.

(GRUNTING)

(CHUCKLES)

Welcome.

Strong.

(TRAFFIC NOISES)

(♪♪♪)

So, surveillance everywhere?

His house, his car, Sectorem.

Where are you Wayne?

Just that...

Don't touch that.

Okay.

(♪♪♪)

(♪♪♪)