All language subtitles for Grace and Favour s02e06

I must say, it's been a very quiet
weekend.

Oh, it was bound to be. They're a silent
order.

Look out, here they come.

I think we ought to line up in our
saying farewell position.

We hope you enjoyed your stay.

What have you got, Mr. Rump? Oh, and the
abbot's just offered me a free

trial weekend as a novice in the
monastery.

Oh, the poor thing's in bare feet.
However, are they going to manage across

gravel?

Shut the door, Peacock.

Shut it yourself.

Can I have a word with you, Captain
Peacock? In fact, can we all gather

We have just witnessed another example
of the undermining of my authority.

Would you care to be more specific?

Yes, I would.

In my position as manager of this
establishment, which was clearly

young Mr. Grace's will, I am being
frequently undermined by a member of the

staff. If I make a suggestion, he comes
up with one which he thinks is better.

Oh, it's the he.

I hope you don't think it's me, Mr.
Rumble.

I've never been considered uppity.

Well, not as far as my work's concerned.

Oh, no, no, Mr. Humphries. It's not you
I'm complaining about.

I can handle you perfectly well.

Why don't you come out in the open, Mr.
Rumbold, and say that I am undermining

your authority?

Mainly because you have precious little
authority to undermine.

You're absolutely right, Captain
Peacock. You mean sweet Fanny Adams in

darling.

Well, may I remind you that I answer
directly to Mr. Thorpe of the

If anything goes wrong, I have to carry
the can.

Look, if any of you think that I'm not
up to the job, you should drop or say

You're not up to the job.

Oh.

Well, that's cleared the air.

Hands up those who think I should be in
charge.

That's cleared the air again, isn't it?

The point is, if we're anything at all,
we're a democracy.

An authority is conferred by common
consent. But in her case, dead common.

That's quite right, Mr Rumble. We don't
mind you being in charge. If only you

wouldn't keep rubbing everybody up the
wrong way.

Yeah, you get right up my...

Sometimes. Well, I thought I was very
popular.

Just trying to do my job.

I know that perhaps I make mistakes from
time to time, little ones.

Everyone does.

It's just that since Mrs. Rumboldt left
me for Mr. Prentiss of tools and

hardware, I've probably been a bit
introverted.

You know, I was often worried about Mr.
Prentiss of tools.

He offered me some very unusual
attachments for my black and decker.

Well, perhaps we can be more
understanding with you if you, in

less pompous with us.

Anybody see Mr.

Rumbles? Mr. Moulton, you do not come in
through the front door. Wipe your feet,

take your hat off, and say excuse me
before you interrupt.

What's bit him this morning?

His wife ran off with a do -it -yourself
expert.

Well, I've been asked to pass on a
challenge from the local pub.

Their team wants to know if you'll play
them at darts.

Now, what do I tell them?

Well, a moment ago, I would have said
no, but now I hesitate to make a

You play darts, Mrs. Floaker.

She scored a bullseye with me in
Tiverton.

Surprised all the lads when she pulled
off a double top.

To go down memory lane again, Mr.
Moulthard.

Well, I think it would be good for
public relations if we, so to speak,

with the locals, as I'm sure Mr. Rumble
was about to suggest.

Yes, it would be nice to acquaint
ourselves with their customs.

Well, I'll tell them then, and I shall
need some help outside.

We've got to get them sheep onto the
trailer, and it is more than me and

can manage.

Right, come along then. That is, if...
Everyone would be prepared to lend a

hand. Well, perhaps we ought to change
into more suitable attire, Mr Rumbled.

Absolutely right, Mrs Slocum. What a
good suggestion.

I'm so glad you mentioned it.

Oh, I preferred him when he was bossy
and horrible.

Where did you get that hat?

Oh, my pen pal sent it to me from
Australia.

Are you supposed to wear it turned up on
the right or turned up on the left?

Well, if you have it turned up on the
right -hand side like that, it means

you're in the army.

If you have it on the left -hand side,
it means you come from Queensland.

You can wear it like this just to be on
the stateside.

Dad's just fixing the tractor.

Oh, thank goodness.

It brings out the mother in me.

They look like a lot of thermals. Yes.

Where are they going?

Next door as farmers bought them.

Yes, we're making a good profit out of
them. That is, if everyone agrees.

Yeah. Shouldn't we have one of them
sheep dogs like they have on the

Oh, Dad used to have one of them. Used
to control it with his silent whistle.

Then he got his new false teeth and he
could never hit the right note again.

Thank you. It went for the lack of
trying.

He spent all day blowing away.

Didn't the dogs take any notice?

No, they just ignored him.

We ended up surrounded by a lot of bats.

Dealing with sheep must seem very tame
to you, Captain Peacock, after your hand

-to -hand encounter with the Gestapo
Alsatian when you were parachuted into

Yugoslavia during the war.

All the years I've known you, Captain
Peacock, and you've never mentioned it.

Well, it was only recently that MI5 gave
permission to release some of the

details. Well, it must be true about the
Alsatian. He actually showed me the

teeth marks.

He got them from Miss Adamsbrook in
account.

Appreciate it, Miss Lovelock, if you
would not reveal those things which I

from time to time, mentioned to you in
confidence.

Does that include Mr. Rumbold's
hemorrhoid?

You, Captain Peacock, you take the
hurdle away. Mr. Rumpris, you get behind

with me and we'll get them going.

I've never got sheep going before. Isn't
it a special method?

Why don't you get at them?

Right, now the rest of you, stand either
side of the ramp and make sure they

don't get out of sight before they get
on the trainer.

Right. Are we ready?

Ready. With your permission, Sir Rumble.

Go.

Look along.

Oh, that's done it.

That'll give me the strap for this.

Oh, don't worry.

I'll tell him it wasn't your fault.

I suppose you'll give me the strap.

Are you all ready? I decided, with your
permission, that we would proceed to the

pub in young Mr. Grace's daimler with
his pride and joy.

He was mad about his car. He had an old
racing Bentley.

He'd love me to drive with the top down.

Some of the villagers still talk about
it.

That's a sight that'll live in the
memory.

Follow me, then.

Please.

Quite a museum piece.

Does it go?

Oh, yeah.

I turns it over once a week.

Depression's good.

Be careful of your appliance, Dad.

I heard something go.

I think she's stark now. You can get in.

I love the smell of

real leather.

Mention real head.

If I'm not mistaken, dead headache.

They do say it used to belong to a
Marjorie Roger from India.

Oh, yes.

There's still some curry on the floor.

Flattened another hen.

I'll try. That is, if everyone's
agreeable. How long is he going to go on

that?

I say, well, sir, that doesn't appear to
be a tax dip.

Oh, we don't bother about things like
that round these parts.

All you need is a beer label.

How nice to find a bit of the spirit of
old England, miss.

Oh, look, there's one of those speaking
tubes.

Mr. Graves used to use it to give
instructions when we had a chauffeur.

Oh, and what did he used to say?

Keep your eyes on the road?

Mr. Rumbled!

Mr. Rumbled!

Can you hear me?

Very faintly.

Not that I mind, of course.

Let me have a go, Dad.

Mr.

Grace didn't have to do much, did he?

You might have mentioned that apart from
missing taxes, we were also missing

some petrol.

Oh.

Well, if that doesn't impress the
locals, nothing will.

Oh, there's Malcolm's bike.

He'll not like it, me being here with
you.

Well, you just bring me half a shandy
and I'll have it outside in the car. I

don't mind.

No, no, you must go inside, Mr.
Humphries.

Malcolm's just a bully.

Good morning, Morris.

Are you the driver of this vehicle, sir?

Well, seeing that I'm sitting behind the
wheel, it would hardly take a Sherlock

Holmes to come to that conclusion.

Well, perhaps Sherlock Holmes will also
notice that instead of a tax disc...

You're driving with a label from a
bottle of Newcastle brownie.

Is that all you've got to say for
yourself?

I told him about that, Percy.

I said you'll never get away with it.
These town folk thinks we're all stupid.

I'm afraid for it. There's only one
course open to me.

Take a bribe.

I've never been in here before.

It's really rather cosy.

Where is everybody?

Are we the first?

Landlord? Where's Malcolm?

Oh, don't you bother about him.

Half the blokes in the village is after
Mavis.

At least with you, I know she's in safe
hands.

Don't go on like that.

Good evening, Mrs. Slocum. Your usual.

I thought you said you'd never been in
here before.

Oh, well, now I remember. I have been in
just once when I was shopping.

But only for a minute.

This is the mob from the manor. Oh,
well, I was not waiting for you in the

public bar, drinking scrumpy.

Shall we have a small tincture before we
go in?

Oh, what a good idea, Captain Peacock.

This rounds on me.

Double whiskey.

Last gin and tonic for me.

And me.

Same for me.

I'll have a pint, it's scrumpy.

Same for Mr. Humphreys.

Oh, no, no, no, I think I'd like a small
port and lemon.

That won't put lead in your pencil.

I wasn't planning to write to anybody.

Will you use your point to stop me,
Mavis?

Yeah, why not?

One of those that I really let myself
go.

Now, don't you go getting Mr. Humphreys
into trouble.

If she bothers you, you let me know.

I'll give her the strap.

She never bothered me up to now.

You haven't seen me after a pint of
scrumpy yet.

Thank you very much, Sam. Take care now.

They're here from the manor. Here,
Malcolm.

Young Mavis is with that young buck from
up the hall. Now, I'm warning you, I'm

having no trouble in here.

If you want to sort him out, you take
him round the back.

Right.

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the
Millstone Manor dark team.

That's it.

Thanks all round for the Millstone Manor
mob.

I'm Henry Heathcliff, Malcolm's dad.

Who's your captain, then?

Oh, well, we're a democratic team.

Well, since Captain Peacock is a captain
already, perhaps we should make him the

captain. Well, with your permission, Mr.
Rumble.

Pleased to meet you.

I'm the one who bought them lambs off
you. Oh, nice to know they're in good

hands.

First team to empty their glasses wins
the toss.

Excuse me, do you think I could have a
port and lemon?

Of course you can, my dear.

Pour it in the scrumpy.

Thank you. Right.

One, two, three, go.

Oh, that paint stripper.

You're spilling it, Mrs. Slocum. I know,
I've melted half my sequins.

Looks like we won the toss.

Fill them up. We can't go empty during
the contest. Well, Malcolm, what say we

give them first throw?

Suits me.

Here's your dark.

Thank you.

Oh, ladies first. Mrs. Logan.

Well, half a tick. I just have a drop
left.

101 up.

She sounds like she knows what she's
doing.

I know you.

I've seen you play darts before.

You was Morris's bird in Tiverton.

One down, two to go.

You was known as a Tiverton bicycle.

If anybody else has fond memories of
Tiverton, will they kindly speak now

I throw me last dart?

Keep your nerve, Mrs. Slocum.

Double top 40.

That Malcolm staring at you through the
bottom of his beer glass.

Oh, he's not staring at me. He's staring
at you.

He's trying to frighten you.

Well, I must say, the sight of an
eyeball magnified through that is a bit

unnerving. 98.

Your turn next, Mr. Humphrey.

Oh, it's my turn.

Now stand back, I can go wild at times.

Would someone explain this game to me?

You're supposed to hit the board.

Oh, that one going round and round and
round.

One! Is that good?

No.

That makes a hundred and two.

Oh, you're wonderful, Mr. O 'Brien.

You keep your hands off her.

Don't you push him. I'll push you, I
like it. Don't you push her. Don't you

me. You behave yourself.

Don't you push my lad.

Or you and me will step outside.

Oh, I shouldn't step outside with
Captain Peacock. He was trained by the

Japanese over -carby.

Yes. Well, unfortunately, I'm not
allowed to use it unless there's a war.

There'll be a war here in a minute.

Stand aside, Peacock. And I don't
particularly like the look of you.

Right.

Outside with you.

I shall be delighted.

Boy, that'll kill him.

Well, come on, then, if you fancy it.

I do fancy it.

Well, then, are you going to have a go?

Go on, then.

You can have a go first.

I will do.

Come on, then.

You come on.

I'll come on when I'm ready.

Miss Brahms, I've been talking to that
farmer over there.

And you know those sweet little sheep we
sold?

Well, Malcolm's dad is going to sell
them to the butchers.

Do you think if we asked him nicely,
he'd give us them back?

Oh, I don't think now's a good time to
ask.

He's just taken Mr Rumbolt outside, and
I think he's going to kill him.

We'll see about that.

Pass me that bottle of light ale.

Right, watch me gin and tonic.

I'm just... ..working myself up to it.

I've worked up already.

May I say a word on behalf of Millstone
Manor? What is it, then?

It's this.

Oh!

Dear, I was quite capable of dealing
with that man.

Well, I got my gender up. And so did I,
and it's unusual for me.

You were wonderful, Mr. Humphrey.

Control yourself so you didn't hit that
Malcolm.

Yeah, especially after he called you a
weedy little git.

You never moved.

Well, I was suffering from a well -known
condition known as temporary paralysis.

Well, we didn't do a lot for our public
image.

No, but at least Mrs. Slocum laid out
the local bully.

Well, yes, but we got ourselves banned
from the local pub.

Well, I'm still worried about those
sheep. If we don't do something quickly,

they'll be in the butchers by tomorrow.

What did you think they were going to do
with them?

I just thought they were going to grow
wool.

There's not much we can do.

Well, I suggest we try to get them back.

We can hardly do that.

Why not? If somebody nipped John Wayne's
cattle, he'd have been on his horse and

over there quick as a flash.

He'd have raised a pussy.

You organise something like that,
Captain Peacock.

Yeah, do one of those commando -type
raids, you know, like when you try to

Rommel. Yes, well, it's quite simple, of
course, but I don't think we should

break the law.

Well, you could hardly complain if we
take the sheep and leave the money.

I've still got the cash.

I haven't paid it in yet.

Come on, let's have a go.

Well, I'm game. I'm game.

What about you, Mr. Humphreys? Are you
game?

Well, I always have been up to now.

You tell us what to do, Captain Peacock,
and we'll follow your lead.

Right.

Damn. That strap's broken. I'll go and
get another one.

He looks ever so sleepy.

Well, perhaps he isn't used to being
aroused at one o 'clock in the morning.

Won't the horse's hooves make a bit of a
clatter? I had already thought of that,

Mr. Rumbold.

I've asked Mr. Humphreys to prepare some
sacking for its feet.

How are these, Captain Peacock? Oh,
that's ever so good, Mr.

Humphreys. You're a dab ad with a needle
and a bit of ribbon.

Good. What about the horseshoes? Excuse
me. Would you mind lifting your foot up,

please? No.

You've got to be firm, Mr. Humphreys.

I'll hold it for you and you slip it on.

Right.

On board, everyone.

Mrs. Slocum, what are the garden shears
for?

Well, don't we have to cut the telephone
wires?

Ah, good. Good thinking.

Right. As soon as I fix this, we can go.

Miss Brahms, will you help me? Will you
get up there and give me a hand?

Well, why don't you just jump up
backwards and sit on me?

Oh, well... Mr.

Rumble, if we take a foot each, we may
be able to get her up there. Come on.

Here we go. Oh, dear.

Get off, get off.

Oh, how ed pneumonia.

Please help.

Oh, Mr.

Humphreys, thank you. How kind.

Hold tight, everybody.

Off we go.

Pity we didn't bring some cream.

There's always something.

Stop, Miss Lovelock.

Mr Humphreys, why don't you put on some
of my cold cream? Oh, thank you, Mrs

Slocum.

On the axle, Mr Humphreys.

Miss Downbridge, you take the money and
put it through the letterbox. What about

the dog?

Oh, you take the takeaway tandoori.

Good luck.

Miss Lovelock, you're in command of the
cart.

Yes, Captain. You keep it here.

We crawl to the barn.

Miss Brown and Mavis, you keep a
lookout.

Mrs. Slocum, you will open the barn
door.

Mr. Rumbold and I carry out these sheep
one by one and fetch them to the cart.

He's got care.

No,

no. It's just that rather a lot of cows
have passed this way.

Anyway.

Hello, night doggy.

Come on.

Have some tandoori chicken.

Come on.

Tandoori chicken.

Well, who didn't like it either?

Oh, heck.

Get out of the way.

What's going on down there?

Get back in your kennel and belt up.

They're probably all asleep.

I said go!

leadership, Captain Peacock.

I refuse to take the blame.

Well, it was your plan.

I did not plan for Mrs. Slocum to fall
on her backside and lose all the sheep.

Neither did I plan for Mr. Humphreys to
give Henry all the money for nothing.

Do sheep have homing instincts?

Well, do we pay for the rest or take
them back? Do you have a contingency

Captain Peacock?

Yes, I have.

A large drink and a hot bath.

Now, that's real ladyship, that is.