All language subtitles for Grace and Favour s01e01

Ah, Miss Prescott, I'll just go through
the final papers in the office.

As soon as the staff return from the
funeral, let me know. Will I show them

young Mr. Grace's office, Mr. Thorpe?
No, this will do very well. How many

there be?

Well, at the time of the closing down
sale, there were only the ladies and

gentlemen ready to wear departments
left.

Ah, hateful servants.

A sad day, Miss Prescott. A sad day
indeed, sir. They're here, Miss

They're coming up in the private lift.

Oh, the dratted thing, it's stuck.

I think they could have mended it
properly by now.

Make the umbrella in the crack, Mr.
Humphreys.

Mr.

Thorpe, Mr.

Humphreys has arrived.

After you. After you, Mrs. Hercule. Oh,
thank you, Captain Peacock.

me leg up. Oh,

Captain Peacock, would you be good
enough to get out and lend me a helping

Certainly.

Thank you, Mr. Alfred.

Come on, now.

We'll give you a bunk up from behind,
Mr. Sir.

I'll do my best.

Thank you, Steve.

Oh, that lifts for ten years. on me. I
think he's put ten years on all of us.

Oh, there's young Mr.

Grace. Yes, it's hard to believe that
he's no longer with us. What a way to

scuba diving with his nurse in the
Caledonia.

Yes, according to her, his equipment,
although old -fashioned, was in perfect

working order.

He should have been with us had her
bikini top not popped off.

Oh, but it was a lovely funeral.

Yes, I've always been very moved by the
melody of I did it my way.

Personally, I think it was the closing
of the store that finished him off.

Yeah. Anyway, they must have left us
something, because otherwise we wouldn't

all be here.

Well, I understand that it's the pension
fund they want to discuss.

And after all, we have been paying into
it for a very long time.

Good afternoon, everybody.

This is Mr Thorpe. Ah, good afternoon.

We haven't met, but I represent young Mr
Gracie's solicitor.

Thorpe, Thorpe and Thorpe.

I am the junior partner.

I can imagine old Mr. Thorpe doesn't get
about very much.

If you all care to sit down.

Are we all here?

Where's Mr. Rumble?

Yes, he wasn't at the funeral.

He was engaged in other business
concerning the Grace Brothers estate.

He sends his regrets.

And there's still Miss Lovelock to come.

Oh, yes, so there is. Miss Lovelock.

Yes, she was the personal companion to
young Mr. Grace at the time of his

demise. Was she the one who... Yes.

And was it her top that... My paper
added Miss Prince. Said he was

scrappetising.

Miss Lovelock.

Sorry I'm late. Had a ghastly night.

Still got a hangover.

What paper was that, Miss Brown?

The Sun.

Truth at last.

Oh, do sit down, Miss Lovelock.

I'll just perch over here.

Stockings, then suspenders.

Tendinia, seamless.

Now, if I may have your attention, we
are not concerned today with the bulk of

young Mr Grace's fortune, which, as you
may know, was left to his favourite

charity, the Home for Fallen Women.

I don't suppose he mentioned fallen men.

I think Mr Thorpe would like to get on
with the business, if you don't mind.

I expect you're all concerned as to what
happened to the pension fund.

Your use of the past tense has already
sent a chill through my whole body.

There's no need to worry.

It's all been wisely invested in a
multitude of enterprises, ranging from

Rangoon Gas Mantle Company to Portland
Whalebone Enterprises.

Sounds a bit old -fashioned to me. In
addition to that, quite a bit was

in bricks and mortar.

As a pile or in a building?

Mr. Grace, on behalf of the fund,
acquired a Tudor manor house.

Oh, goody, we can flog that.

a lolly.

Unfortunately, it cannot be sold. It is
in trust to the pension fund.

On the other hand, it is in itself a
money -making proposition.

And the beneficiaries may use it in any
manner in which they see fit.

What was that about, fisheries?

Beneficiaries. You are the
beneficiaries, as you all stayed at your

the end.

Does that include Miss Lovelock? Of
course.

I bet she stayed at the bedpost till the
end.

It was surely that wasn't the only
property that young Mr. Grace owned.

I mean, he had lots of houses.

You're absolutely right.

Several times he promised to give me
one.

This was the only one included in the
pension fund.

It is at the moment being run as a
country house hotel.

Oh, when can we see it? Well, as soon as
you wish.

It's in the village of Great Pender.

Oh, where's that?

Well, it's not very close to London.

Perhaps you care to stay the night?

Sounds a good idea to me.

Miss Prescott, get on to Millstone Manor
at once and make the arrangements.

I think you all know the manager,
Cuthbert Rumbo. Oh, God.

There it is, Millstone Manor. Oh, look,
50 cats.

You don't get semi -detached manor
houses.

Oh, it looks quite nice.

Mr. Hubbard.

Have you got change for five pounds?

I expect so.

In case you can pay for the cab.

Mr. Humphreys, would you hold my pussy
while I... It's been very quiet.

The vet gave me a tranquilizer for her.

Give it a mop it down.

Nice to see you all. Welcome to
Millstone Manor. In which we understand

pension fund is firmly entrenched.

This is so good.

Here, look.

Built in 1576.

Oh, yes.

I hope the beds are aired.

Oh, well.

At least it's a bit warmer in here.

Did you notice that funny smell out
there?

That has probably come from the home
farm which forms part of the property.

Oh, but I love the smell of the
countryside.

It brings back so many happy childhood
memories.

During the war, you know, I was
evacuated to a farm in Diverton, in

thought you drove an ambulance.

The war went on quite a long time.

I was evacuated with the Barley Road
Mixed Infants.

The school bully swapped all our labels
round.

until well after D -Day I was known as
Gladys Wainwright.

I still get a funny turn every time I
see a Jim Slope.

So does Captain Peacock, and he was the
desert rat.

Mr Rumble, do you think we could have a
porter to take our cases up to our

rooms? Well, we are a bit short of staff
at the moment.

How short?

Well, I gather them all round the way I
usually do.

told them I was in charge, explained how
I wanted the place to be run, outlined

one or two changes I had in mind, and
conveyed to them in no uncertain terms

that if they didn't toe the line, they
could leave. And what happened?

They left.

Oh, that's not entirely true. We still
have an assistant cook.

Oh, it's good to know, Mr. Rumble, that
you've lost none of your qualities of

leadership. But how's the place going to
make any money if you've got rid of

everybody?

Oh, I've advertised locally. I'm sure
we'll be able to fill the vacant posts.

Excuse me, Mr. Rumble.

Might I have a word? Pay attention,
everybody.

This is the gentleman who runs the home
farm for a really good, loyal country

chap, Mr.

Moulterd. M -O -U -L -T -E -R -D.

Moulterd.

How's it going?

Well, it's just good to see that
somebody hasn't left the staff.

Oh, no, of course not.

Mr. Moulton has been here for years.

Yeah, there have been Moulton's in this
village for 200 years.

Quite a tourist attraction.

What I want to know, Mr. Rumbles, is
about the hens.

Ah, so we've got hens, have we? Oh, yes,
yes. They were all cooped up in a small

hen house. I thought we'd have a much
better chance of selling the eggs if we

could advertise them as free range.

Well, I've done exactly as you said, Mr.
Rumbles. I opened the door. to the hen

house, let them all out, and they all
buggered off.

Please, Mr. Moulter, not in front of the
ladies.

Who's going to help me round them up?
That's what I want to know.

Oh, I'm sure we'll find some willing
hands.

Well, shall we all help Mr.

Moulter to recover the hens? After all,
they're ours.

Why not?

Good thing Muck never hurt nobody.

I don't like the way that goat's looking
at me.

I don't suppose he likes the way you'm
looking at him.

Where do the hens live?

There's a hen house over there.

Oh, look, that's detached and all.

How do we persuade the hens to return to
their living quarters?

Well, we'll form a semicircle and shoo
them.

Go on. Shoot.

He knows all the technical terms.

Come on. Shoot.

Shoot. Shoot.

Shoot.

Shoot. Shoot.

Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. Shoot.

Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. Shoot.

Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. Shoot.

Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. Shoot.
Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. Shoot.

Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. Shoot.
Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. Shoot.

Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. Shoot.
Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. Shoot.

Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. Shoot.
Shoot.

Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. Shoot.
Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. Shoot.

Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. Shoot.
Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. Shoot.

Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. Shoot.
Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. Shoot.

Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. Shoot.
Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. Shoot.

Shoot. Shoot.

Shoot. Shoot. Shoot.

Shoot.

Shoot More brightly coloured and its
comb stands up.

Oh, fancy.

It's all going on in nature, isn't it?

Now, listen.

If we were to catch the cockerel and put
it in the hen house, would that not

attract the hens?

No.

He's been round them already once today.

Oh, look. There's another cockerel over
there.

Oh, that's George.

He's not interested in them.

They ain't interested in him.

It shouldn't stand like that.

I'll get it for you.

Put your arm round me and hold your leg
up.

Don't try and get down no further.

Could you get up any higher?

I know.

Hold it up backwards.

Oh, Mr.

Humphreys, would you hold my hand and
steady me?

That's better.

So we see the mare.

I grab her, shove it between me legs,
and she can't move.

Very effective, I'm sure.

Then I gets me hammer out, gives her a
few good bangs, and I can gallop her

anywhere.

Brace yourself, Mrs. Smith.

You're a son of a soy, isn't he?

You're giving me hay fever.

What on earth was that?

That's old Betsy. Must be something the
matter with her. We'd better go and see.

As you see, Captain Peacock, we're
completely self -sufficient here. We

own cows.

Really? How big is the herd?

Two.

What's the matter, me old darling?

She want milking.

He speaks the language.

What did you say a curler's for?

Oh, he shoves them on the teats.

And he presses the switch and it milks
them.

Mind you, old Betsy here don't like it.
She likes it bound by hand.

You do get a better result with a phone.

She needs milking now.

Sorry, Betsy, I can't get down that far.

You'll have to wait till Mavis gets back
from the village.

And who is Mavis?

Oh, Mr. Moulton's daughter. She helps on
the farm and about the house.

Where is that dratted girl?

Oh, I can't handle it any longer. Miss
Browns, hold me hat and pass me that

stool. Here.

Thank you.

Mr. Humphrey's bucket.

Mrs. Slocum, I had no idea you could do
that sort of thing.

Well, if the knack you know, I was
evacuated during the war.

Wait a minute.

I know you.

We was on a farm together in Timberland.

That's right, Mrs. Slocum. You was
evacuated when you were a little child.

Little child?

She was a great big walloping land girl.

Well, I was a land girl later on.

You're Rachel Yiggle.

I was a young rat catcher.

Many's the time we rolled around in the
hayloft when I was laying the bait.

You're quite mistaken, Morris.

Whatever your name was.

It's gone very organic at this point.

Charming you look. Oh, thank you. I
always think if you dress nice, you can

-knob with anybody.

Oh, where are the other hotel guests?

Well, fortunately, we don't expect any
until the weekend, which gives us a

chance to sort out the staff problem.

Has anyone replied to your advert?

I haven't yet.

Miss Ludlock?

Yes? You've met Miss Ludlock, of course.

When did she get here?

She came down late last night astride
her powerful Kawasaki.

What exactly is that, may I ask?

It's a very large, terrifically fast
motorbike.

Indeed. Young Mr. Grace used to love
putting on his crash helmet and climbing

behind him.

What a gallant old gentleman he was.

I'm sure Miss Lovelock has many a tale
to tell.

I think we're only scratching the
surface.

Is she going to be alone?

Young Mr. Grace left me the horses in
his will.

They're all stabled here. I live above.

Mr. Grace converted the groom's quarters
for me.

Oh, yes, by the way, Miss Lovelock, has
anyone applied for a position on the

start? I've no idea, darling. Why don't
you check the answering machine?

She's a bit bolshy, isn't she?

Well, we haven't quite clarified her
position.

No? I bet Mr. Grace clarified it.

It's stuck.

Will somebody get me out of here,
please?

Press the emergency button.

I have done your job.

Captain Peacock.

Well,

how am I going to get down from here?

Take my hand, Mrs. Logan.

Oh, put it away.

Oh, Captain Peacock.

Mr. Blumble, avert your eyes, please.

Miss Brahms, would you give me some
assistance?

Oh, well, pull your skirt out and slide
out on your bum.

Oh, oh, how ignominious.

All clear.

You know, I just love those big old
baths.

I had so much fun. much water. When I
pulled the plug out, I got caught up in

the vortex.

I had to fight for me life.

Do you know, I'm dying for a drink.

Well, there is a bar.

I'm afraid the barman's left with the
rest of the staff. Help yourselves.

Allow me.

What will it be, Miss Browns?

Oh, um, I'll have a gin and a tonic,
please.

And I'll have the same, but not too much
tonic.

I'll have a gin and it.

What is it?

Do you know, I never found out.

Could you make a pina colada?

I could try.

Are you up to a Harvey Wall banner?

I think that's more to Mr Humphrey's
line of country.

Now, you've all met Miss Lovelock, of
course. Yeah.

She's got the groom's quarter.

I've never seen a groom's quarter.

Well, I'm glad you're all here, because
there are one or two things I want to

discuss with you.

Are you free, Captain Peacock? I shall
be, in a couple of shakes.

Perhaps you'd all like to sit down.

We're not in the store now, are we? This
is all quite informal.

Are you free, Mr Humphreys? I'm free.

I know these cushions haven't been
puffed up for many a year.

Well, now, I've had a fax from Mr Thorpe
with a final figure on the income from

the pension fund investments.

Oh, thanks. That's exciting.

Thank you, Stephen.

Thank you.

Companies, it should amount to quite a
few thousand.

Yes, the final figure is 243.

Oh, 243 ,000 pounds.

Oh, that's about 40 ,000 each.

No, 243 pounds for each of us. Per week?

Per month.

Does that include Miss Loveless?

Of course.

Well, would she come to deserve it?

I don't think you can go into that, Mrs.
Loveless.

The whole thing's a disgrace.

It's about 60 pounds a week each.

And after all them years of having it,
um, subtracted from our wages... Miss

Bronze, we have been diddled, and I am
unanimous in that.

I was going to buy my mother a new
washing machine. Now she'll have to

for a pair of rubber gloves and a packet
of purses.

Well, I suggest we talk it over over
dinner. That is, if we're going to get

dinner. Oh, yes, yes, I've arranged for
that. Are you free to bang the gong, Mr

Humphreys? Certainly, Mr Rumble.

Would you like me to start slowly and
build up to a crescendo?

Or would you prefer a J. Arthur rank?

Provided they can hear you in the
kitchen, I don't mind what you do.

Oh, for heaven's sake, Mr. Humphries,
give it to me.

I'm absolutely starving.

Where is the kitchen?

Right the other side of the dining room.

Right.

That should do it. Fire, fire!

Fire, fire, fire!

All right, Mrs. Slocum was only banging
the gong for dinner.

Oh, you mustn't touch that.

That's the fire alarm.

And why exactly have we got a large red
bell over the reception desk marked

fire? Well, that don't work.

That's electric.

Because the short circuit in that will
cause the last fire.

Get out of the way, Dad. I've got their
dinner.

Well, when you...

Madam, don't forget the goat.

This is Mavis Moulthard, our willing
pair of hands.

Oh, they're a bit muddy at the moment.

I've just been unbonging the drain in
the cow shed.

What are all these little boxes?

Oh, I've just heated them up in the
microwave.

Take away tandoori chicken and chips.

Do you mean I've got dressed up like
this for take away tandoori?

Are you not partaking, Miss Lovelock?

Certainly not, darling.

Now, I have some caviar and smoked
salmon in my fridge.

That'll be £1 .35 each.

Take it out of the till.

We haven't put anything in the till.

I'll have to have the money.

I borrowed it from Dad, and if I go on
without it, he'll give me the strap.

I see.

Will he give you the strap on the hand
or on the...

I think in the circumstances, perhaps
we'd better divvy up. Oh, very well.

you got change for £5? No, Captain
Peacock. I think so.

Well, you can pay for mine.

Now, listen, everybody. I've been
thinking.

Now, this is our place, and £60 a week
will go nowhere in London, but it

wouldn't be too bad if we lived here,
rent -free.

That's right.

We could have free milk and free eggs.
Yes, we could grow our own vegetables.

And on top of that, any profit we could
make out of this hotel.

What do you think, Captain Peacock?

I vote we sleep on it.

Fat chance of that after 18 votes.

Sorry to barge in while you've got your
snouts in the top.

There's been a bit of commotion at the
front.

Oh, it sounds like tittles.

Do you think somebody should go to her
assistance?

Oh, this sort of thing is quite normal.
Animals always take a day or two to get

used to each other.

Oh, will somebody come and help me,
please?

That naughty goat has got hold of my
pussy and put that goat...

There you are, Tiddles.

There's your little hot water bottle.

Mummy's got a big one.

Now, you try...

and forget all about that naughty old G
-O -A -T.

I'll just look under the bed to see if
there's a man there.

Oh, well, better luck next time.

Who's there?

It's me, Cuthbert. Can I come in?

Mr. Brumbo, where am I in my night
attire?

So am I.

What I have in mind won't take a moment.

Well, that does narrow down the
possibility.

Well, you may come in.

Are you comfortable, Mrs. Flockham? This
is the housekeeper's room.

Well, yes, it's quite cosy.

But why can't we have some proper hotel
rooms?

When our guests come, we'll need the
sheets. We don't have any more until we

the laundry bill.

You have got a wet mattress.

Has it just happened?

Perhaps Mrs. Slocum wouldn't mind you
sharing until we can get it fixed.

Oh, would you, Mrs. Slocum? Well, I'm
usually unaccompanied in the bedroom.

However, seeing as how we've known each
other for such a long time, and it is an

emergency, I will concede.

Oh, thanks, Mrs. Slocum. I've got the
own bottle.

Well, I'll see you in the morning.

Good night.

Good night, Mr. Rumbold.

To be truthful, Miss Brahms, I'm quite
glad you're here. I think we're safer

together with him prowling round.

Yes. He does have a rather unfulfilled
look about him, doesn't he?

Well, he's not going to get topped up by
me.

Oh, I'm sorry to startle you. I was just
investigating where this door led.

Well, now you know.

I'm next door in the head waiter's room.

There's no lock, so would you be good
enough to knock when you come in, as I

usually do my Jane Fonda exercise
routine before I die?

We didn't have it in mind to disturb
you, Captain Peacock.

Yeah, you'd better bung up the keyhole
in case we get tempted.

Right.

Hello,

operator.

I'm having a bit of difficulty with my
mother.

No, I don't want the child helpline. No.

No, it's the phone,

you see. Well, I dialed it and it isn't
working.

No, no, not my mother isn't working.
It's the telephone.

Oh, would you? Yes. The number is 722
-1708.

Thank you.

And you'll call me back.

You're very kind.

My, it's nippy out there.

It's not a song, though.

I'm very glad to hear it.

Are you going to be the new chef?

I don't think so.

Oh, never mind then. Shove over.

Oh, nice pajamas.

Thank you.

There's been a lot of excitement about
here today, hasn't there?

There's a lot more to come, by the look
of it.

Excuse me.

Do you think I could ask you a question?
Does your father know you're here?

Uh, no, he don't care where I am, long
as I'm out the way.

If he knew you were here, he wouldn't
give you the strap, would he?

Not as a rule.

He wouldn't give me the strap.

Look, you're not going to talk all
night, are you?

I'm not even going to move.

Well, turn the light out. It's on your
side.

Hello?

Oh, hello, Mother. Yes, it's me.

Fine, it's worked out quite well.

Not quite how you'd expect.

No, no, I'm all right. I'm tucked up in
the chef's bed.

No, he's gone.

No, Mother, now, for goodness sake, calm
down.

You've got nothing to worry about.

In fact, you may never have anything to
worry about.