Original subtitles

Second floor, perfumery, stationery and leather goods. Wigs and haberdashery.

Kitchenware and food going up.

First floor, telephone, gin, ready -made food.

Shirt, socks, pie pads, underwear and shoes going up.

Second floor, carpet.

You ready?

No, no, I can nip it in a bit more yet.

No!

What is it? 77.

Oh, doesn't it sound a lot in metric?

Yes. Well, you put on four whatever they are.

Centipedes, Miss Brock.

more of them on? Of course, it's all the government's fault.

How do you work that out?

Well, it's the sugar shortage.

I've stocked up so much, if I don't keep eating it, I'll never get rid of it.

If you keep on like that, you'll be too fat to get into your store cupboard.

I wish I could put on weight.

I can't understand it, you know. I have a big meal every night.

I don't know how you're going to afford it. I can't. I have to keep going out

with these fellas I don't like just to keep body and soul together.

Oh, I couldn't do that.

Oh, it's easy.

I wear a low frock. They have a good look and I have a good nose.

Yes, but nowadays they expect something afterwards, don't they?

Yes, but they don't get it.

Well, why do they keep asking you out then?

Well, it's rather like a fruit machine.

Once they've made investment, they keep hoping they're going to get the jackpot.

before the got -marcher is up.

Thank you very much, sir. And if the socks aren't satisfactory, don't

to bring them back.

Thank you so much.

It won't make a bit of difference.

Anyway, the meal cost seven quid, and I borrowed this car to take her home so as

to be sure of a quick cuddle, and what happened?

About half a mile from her house, she gets her door key out and starts feeling

for the passenger door handle.

You mean she was keen to make a night of it? No, she was keen to make a run for

it.

Anyway, I borrowed the car again tonight to take her out again.

What makes you think you'll do any better tonight?

I've unscrewed the door handle.

Oh, for the return of the romantic age, when one's heart leapt at the sight of

an ankle slipping into a handsome cab.

Now it's clunk, click, strip off quick.

Where is Mr. Granger?

He hasn't returned from his tea break yet, Captain Peacock.

I see.

Tell him I wish to see him, will you, as soon as he returns?

Certainly, Captain Peacock.

Ah, Mr. Granger, Captain Peacock was just asking for you, but I told him you

hadn't come back for your tea break yet, and he said he wanted to have a word

with you as soon as you returned.

Right.

Will you take over from me, Mr. Humphreys? I'm going to have a word with

Peacock. Certainly, Mr. Granger.

Shall I take over from you, Mr. Humphreys? That's tough, Mr. Loper.

You wanted to have a word with me, Stephen?

Yes, Mr. Granger.

Ten past eleven. You've had twenty minutes for your coffee break. Your

entitlement is fifteen.

How do you account for this?

I spent a few minutes in the boys' room on my way back.

That's not part of your coffee break.

It's the result of it.

Five whole minutes.

There was a queue.

I don't think Mr. Rumble will...

Regard that as an adequate excuse.

You don't mean that you're going to report me, Stephen?

Yes, I am, Mr. Granger.

Very well, old Captain Peacock.

I'm sorry, but it's my job.

You mean to be a sneak?

It's not easy for me, you know.

On the one hand, we have our friendship, and on the other, I have my job to do.

And I have to wear two hats.

Well, you will find no difficulty in that.

You're too faced.

Did you hear that, Mr Humphries? I did, Mr Granger. Sit here.

A glass of water for Mr Granger.

Don't let him drink it all at once. He'll need another five minutes off.

Thank you so much.

Good morning.

Come on, Mr Brown. Before you go to lunch, Mrs Spokum, I want a word with

floor personnel by the centre stairs.

Well, I hope it's important because I'm dying for me lunch.

Miss Brown, everything I have to say is important.

Pompous knit.

You mustn't use language like that about floor personnel in my hearing.

You'll get ladies' underwear a bad name.

I want a word with the floor personnel before you all go to lunch.

Well, I hope it won't take long.

Otherwise, Mr. Herbert of Hardware will have pinched my feet.

Juniors as well.

Now, this won't take a moment.

From the DM stroke CR to FW stroke LNGD stroke SP, re -T.

Captain Peacock, what language are you speaking?

It simply means, Mrs. Slocum, from the DM stroke CR, the departmental manager

stroke Cuthbert Rumbold.

to FW stroke LNGD stroke SP, to Floorwalker stroke Ladies and

Department stroke Stephen Peacock, regarding tea.

What does tea stand for?

It doesn't stand for anything. You drink it.

T -E -A, tea.

They use these initials to save time.

Doesn't seem to be working very well, does it?

Would if people didn't keep asking questions.

Well, people wouldn't need to if they knew what you were rabbiting on about.

If I may be allowed to continue, Mrs. Slocum. Oh, yes.

P .C .O.

I beg your pardon?

Please carry on.

Oh, where was I? You just got to the bit where you were stroking Cuthbert

Rumble.

I see you are... Oh, you're not starting on those initials again.

Please, Mrs. Slocum.

I see you are concerned.

about excessively long tea breaks being enjoyed by members of the department

under your supervision.

I must emphasize that the set breaks are limited to 15 minutes, and to ensure no

one takes advantage of this arrangement, personnel will be required in future to

enter their departure and arrival in a book to be known as the E, L, and T .B.

book.

The Levins' Lunch and Tea Break Book.

Visits to the toilet will also be recorded, to which I have provided a

book.

To be known as the W .C. book.

It's an outrage.

Absolutely. Do you mean we have to clock on and clock off every time we want a

cup of coffee? That is precisely the idea.

And every time I want to powder my nose, I've got to stick it into a book first?

That is correct.

But what if it's an emergency and my biro's run out?

Get someone else to do it for you.

It's not the same as doing it yourself.

Get someone else to sign the book.

It's an intolerable invasion of privacy.

1984, Big Brother is watching you.

They won't be watching as well.

I only have to add that this comes into effect immediately, so I hope you'll all

be ready to sign the book back here sharp at two.

Wait, hang on just a minute.

We've spent five minutes waiting, listening to you. Do we get another five

minutes longer?

The customers will be coming in. They will require to be attended to. What

our five minutes?

Miss Brahms, if you add up all the odd minutes you have taken on top of your

normal breaks, I think the five minutes are more than due to Grace Brothers.

Six minutes.

I suggest that the whole matter should be discussed over lunch.

Yes, let's have a disgusting lunch.

Pat, who's for cock -a -leekie?

Dumplings.

Close to Newcastle.

Who's for grapefruit cocktail?

Mine.

Where's the cherry?

I ate it. You're supposed to be on a diet.

I'll thank you to let me make me own sacrifices.

One open sandwich.

I did not ask for an open sandwich.

I'm sorry, Mr Granger, but somebody nudged me in the queue and the top fell

I'll go back and get it if you want it. I think it fell butter up.

Don't bother.

You're being brave having seafood salad.

Oh, shellfish. That's supposed to make you virile.

I don't think a couple of muscles and a shriveled -up prawn is going to do much

for my performance tonight.

Why? What are you doing?

He's got a date with a lady -esque apologist.

He's taken the handle off the car door so that he can bend her to his will.

I always carry a tin opener.

Mr. Granger's still got the scars.

Could we tear ourselves away from sex for one moment to discuss this flocking

business? Well, I think it was quite humiliating, Mr. Granger, the way you

told off in front of us. Don't you, Mr. Lucas? Oh, I do, Mr. Humphreys. I very

nearly went over to Captain Peacock to say something really sharp and witty to

cut him down to size.

Why didn't you? I couldn't think of anything.

Well, what are we going to do about it?

Well, I don't think you and Mr. Granger should put up with it.

Well, just us, you know.

I hope I'm unanimous in this.

If both you and Mr. Granger refuse to sign, the management will have to do

something about it.

Yes, back up.

I agree with Mrs. Frocombe. I think we should all refuse to sign. I agree, and

think you two should refuse to sign first.

No, we must all not sign together.

United we stand, divided we fall.

I wish I had thought of that.

Yes, Captain Peacock. Will you come here a moment, please?

We're all behind you. Off you go.

Mr. Granger, return from lunch, 14 .03.

Would you sign, please?

I'm sorry, Captain Peacock, that I must refuse to sign your book.

I will ask you once more, Mr. Granger.

Mr. Granger, return from lunch 14 -0 -4.

Will you sign?

Again, I shall refuse.

I see.

Mr. Granger, refused.

Point blank to sign book.

Twice.

Mr. Granger, I shall now report your action to Mr. Rumble.

That Captain Peacock, all the others, refused to sign as well?

On the contrary, Mr. Granger. I only asked you, you refused, and you will be

reported.

And the brandy for Mr. Granger?

Well done, Mr. Granger, the way you stood up to him. We shall always

you for that, Mr. Granger, when you've gone.

But I thought that we were all going to stand.

I hope I'll be as brave as that when my turn comes.

Well, I think you all ought to sign something to say that you won't sign it.

Don't worry, Mr Granger, we're all behind you. Oh, yes, we're all in this

together. Only you're in it a bit deeper.

Men's worth.

Yes. Yes, Mr Granger is here.

I see.

Mr Granger wanted to Mr Rumble's office immediately.

Good luck, Mr. Granger. And remember, we're all behind you.

I think we should all go together.

He only said for the ringleader.

I'm not the ringleader. I just happen to be the first one out of the lift.

Men's wear.

Yes. Yes, he's on his way.

Rumble's furious. You're keeping him waiting.

You'd better hurry up, Mr. Granger. You don't want to get a reputation for

always being late.

You will all back me up, won't you?

If you don't look sharp, you won't be here for us to back up.

You know, I think you went too far defying Captain Peacock like you did.

We did all agree not to sign together.

Well, of course, we wouldn't have signed the first time he asked us. As a

protest. But we would have done the second time. I think he went too far.

you, I'm still behind him. Oh, yes, we're all behind him.

Only not so close.

Have your notepad ready, Miss Ainsworth. I shall expect a verbatim report of

everything that is said at this meeting.

Come in.

I believe you wanted a word with me, Mr Rumble.

I've been waiting five minutes to have a word with you, Mr Granger.

I came as quickly as I could.

Do you recognise this book?

Yes, I think so.

Take everything down, Miss Ainsworth. I've taken everything down.

Knock, knock, come in. I believe you wanted to have a word with me, Mr

I've been waiting five minutes to have a word with you, Mr Granger. I came as

quickly as I could. Do you recognise this book? Yes, I think so.

Take everything down, Miss Ainsworth. I've taken everything down.

Don't put down what you say.

Yes, sir. Shall I put that down? No.

Let's start again.

Knock, knock, come in. Please.

Miss Ainsworth, be quiet.

Now, Mr. Granger, do you admit that you refused to sign this book? We all

refused. I'm afraid that's not true. I only asked Mr. Granger.

But they were all behind me.

I see.

Led by you.

I'm afraid, Peacock, it seems clear we must make an example in this case. I'm

afraid so.

One rotten apple can spoil the whole barrel.

Mr Granger's defence that he has never been a rotten apple.

Thank you, Captain Peacock.

Until today.

Come in. I'm in.

I wish you'd wait until I say come in before you come in. I'm having an

important meeting here.

Shall I go out again, then?

No, no, no. Put it down.

Shall I put that down?

I don't want that put down.

What shall I do with it, then?

you to put down, put it down.

Well, I'm going to put it down. And as far as I'm concerned, you can stick it

up.

Don't put that down, Miss Andrews.

Now, where were we?

Never been a rotten apple in the barrel until today.

Yes. Mr. Granger, for the four minutes unauthorized absence, I am deducting 25

pence from your pay packet, plus a further 25 pence for refusing to sign

book. Could I sign now and save the 25 pence?

No, I'm afraid not.

Captain Peacock's remarks take up the place where you were supposed to sign.

That is all, Mr Granger. The matter is closed.

What about the others?

That is all, Mr Granger. The matter is closed.

Well, I think it's disgraceful, you having to pay 50p. I shouldn't stand for

No, you should stand up for yourself and tell him where to get off. Yeah, we're

behind you.

I'd prefer to forget it.

It's all been most unpleasant.

I think we all ought to chip in and pay Mr Granger's fine.

I mean, after all, it's only 10p.

Ah, but he was fined 25p for being late and 25p for not signing.

Now, we're only supporting him for not signing, so it should only be a half.

Hold on, hold on, hold on.

Now, there's a principle involved here, isn't there?

Brother Granger is being victimised because he stood up for his rightful

Now, it's only fair that we should stand up for him.

This has nothing to do with you, Mr. Mash. Get back to your basement.

It has everything to do with me, Brother Slocum.

I am Shop Steward, and in that capacity, I am convening an emergency meeting in

accordance with Section 23 of the rulebook.

Can we do that? Of course we can.

But what about the customers?

You'll have to wait. It all comes to a halt when the brothers say so.

Well, it's just like the Mafia.

Are you free, Mr. Granger?

Coming, Captain Peacock. Don't move, brother.

He'll be Captain Peacock once... He can't touch us once I've convened an

emergency meeting.

We are sacrosanct. Is that true?

That is true, brother.

Brother Humphreys.

Doesn't it bring you close when you have a union?

I called you, Mr. Granger.

I've been convened.

Get off the floor, Mash.

Unless you want everybody out from here to Harrods, I would not use that tone of

voice, Peacock.

Now then, we are gathered here today, brothers, to consider the case of

E. Granger.

So you're behind this, Granger?

No, no, no, we're all behind it.

Now, as I see it, we've got two things to decide.

What we want and how we are going to get it. But I'm not sure what we want.

Ah, well, you're lucky you got me here, then, aren't you?

Firstly, we want... We want to remove the stigmata attached to Brother

Oh, it sounds like the exorcist. And secondly... And secondly, on the time

element, we want to be free and unrestricted in the cloakroom.

I'll second that.

And thirdly, we want a reappraisal of the whole archaic coffee break system,

bringing it into line with current industrial practice.

What does that mean?

What does that mean?

That means, Brother...

That unless the management meet our demands, we take action. And if that

work, we'll escalate.

Hear him.

Well, now you've wasted enough time, Mash. Everybody back to work.

You're out of order, Brother Peacock.

And I do not want to have to reprimand you again, all right?

Right.

Now then, as I see it, the main point to hold out for is travelling time to and

from the tea breaks, right?

Your tea should start not when you leave here, not when you get in the lift.

Not when you stand in the queue at the counter. Not even when you pay for it.

Your tea should start when you sit down and actually dip your biscuit in the

cup.

You definitely speak well.

Thank you, brother.

I'm now about to put a motion on the table.

Some of the phrases are strange.

Now, I move that this meeting authorises me to put our demands before the

management and to form a strike committee with carte blanche to take

action.

Hands up, all those for the motion.

Surely good.

All those against?

You can't vote, you've got no standard.

I'm a member of the union.

Where's your card?

I left it at home.

It makes you out of order then, doesn't it? Have they got their cards? That's

beside the point. I vote we all show cards.

You can't vote we all show cards unless you show your card.

Carried unanimously.

I can tell you now, Nash, there is...

that there'd be no chance of us at Grace Brothers acceding to your demands. I

see. Is that your final words?

Absolutely. The management stands firm behind its agreement of 1928.

Are you saying, sir, that henceforth there is no point in us having

discussions and a helpful exchange of views, then?

None whatever.

Then get stuck!

Don't put that down, Miss Ainsworth.

That's it then, brothers.

As from this moment in time, it's go slow.

But it's only three minutes before we go home.

That's all right. Go slow right up to the bell.

Well, that's not going to be easy without any customers.

In my official capacity as shop steward Peacock, I'm ordering you to go slow.

Hold that, Mr Slocum.

As from now on, it's go slow.

But if I don't get these covers on quick, I'll miss me balls.

Well, leave them.

But my undies will get all smutty.

So let them get smutty. I'm not that kind of person.

And I can't sell smutty underwear.

So the management, through their intractable attitude, will lose money.

And I lose me commission.

We've all got to make sacrifices, brother.

Not when I'm saving for me holidays, we don't.

Let's go slow.

I don't like this union thing at all. It seems to be going too far.

Well, you started it, brother.

I'll tell you, brothers, I'm really proud of you. The ghost load this

was 100 % effective.

I think we put the wind up to management, all right?

And if you don't go slow on that apple crumble, you'll get the wind up

else.

I think Mr Granger went slow beautifully.

I couldn't tell the difference.

Well, I know we're all behind the union, Mr Humphreys, but I must say...

that I do think ten minutes is a rather long time to spend on an inside leg.

Especially as the customer only came in for a pair of gloves.

Well, my end has been disaster.

Your end always was.

Mr. Lucas, if we weren't supposed to be united in a common cause, I would bat

your ear off.

the Russian lady athlete in this morning.

I took so long fitting her for a bra, she left me her address in Vladivostok.

But let's face it, it hasn't been a success, has it? I don't think Peacock

noticed. In that case, we'll have to escalate.

Well, one of the ways of bringing our grievances to the attention of the

hierarchy is to bung up the news with Plaster of Paris.

Wouldn't they rather be cutting off our noses to spate our fists?

Well, then we can go lighten it.

What's that?

You drop everything without warning.

Oh, I don't like the sound of that.

You seem to be getting so militant and extremist.

Yes, I can almost spell reds under the beds.

There are no reds under my bed, Mr Granger.

No, no mind.

Mind you, I look every night.

And keep Rumbold inside with us until the management accede to our demand.

Miss Bronze and I refuse to be cooped up in the lift for days with half a dozen

men.

Except as a last resort.

It might be your last chance.

I mean, our last chance, I'm telling you.

Brabus, Brabus, there's only one thing for it.

Bung up the loose, followed by a lightning sitting.

What, in the loose?

No, on the floor.

And if that don't work, it's a walk out in pickets.

I have been here for over 30 years and I refuse to pick it.

We're only doing it for you.

What? Yes, if you hadn't been so insufferably rude to Captain Peacock, we

wouldn't be in this mess.

Right, I think we ought to vote, Tony. No vote needed. You give me carte

by a democratic majority.

Come on in.

Let's get down to the shop floor and confront the management. I haven't

my coffee yet.

Well, come on, then.

It really is too bad. It's four minutes past two.

So all the old values are disappearing, you know.

Is this what we fought for at Dunkirk?

Were you at Dunkirk?

No, but... I just wondered if this is what the people who were at Dunkirk

for.

We don't have anybody who fought at Dunkirk, do we?

Never mind.

Here they are.

As democratically elected spokesman, I have to tell you that unless the

management meets our demands, we are all out.

The management will not negotiate under intimidation.

I'm not intimidating you, mate. If I was intimidating you, you'd get a bunch of

fives right up your ootah.

Don't let me lose my temper, Captain Peacock. Please carry on, sir.

I'm like a wild animal when I'm roused.

threaten me.

Good afternoon, everybody.

I've got a copy of your memo, Rumbled, about the tea break.

Yes, well, further to that, sir, the workers are claiming that their tea

shouldn't commence until they actually get the coffee in their hands.

Yeah, and we'll get it, and we're right behind Mr.

Granger in this, sir.

It wasn't just me, sir.

We are not travelling up and down in your rotten old lift to your rotten old

canteen in our own time, sir. That's quite right.

The lifts are not up to it.

My tea break begins when my tea is handed to me.

And what's good enough for me is good enough for you.

That's it, brothers.

We've won.

That's the power of the union.

I'm very glad I held out.

Well done, Mr. Granger.

We were all behind you.

So, in future, your tea will be handed to you.

Goddard!

Now, you won't have to leave the department at all.

Goddard, everybody.

You've all done very well.

I enjoyed my walk to the canteen.

Yes, and I enjoyed my ride up in the lift.

I shan't see my friend behind the counter.

Never mind, brothers.

We've won a great victory. And lost our tea break.

Mr. Marsh.

Captain Peacock.