Original subtitles

Downloaded from YTS.MX

Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX

[ BIRDS CHIRPING ]

Carla: BIG SMILE.

[ CAMERA CLICKING ]

OH, THAT'S SO GOOD. YOU'RE GONNA LOVE IT.

[ BOTH LAUGH ]

[ CHUCKLES ]

[ CAMERA CLICKING ]

I'M GONNA PUT IT ON THE BOARD RIGHT HERE.

[ CAMERA CLICKS ]

[ SMOOCHES ]

[ BRAKES SQUEAL ]

Woman: AT THE CRAFT STORE!

HEY.

I GOT ALMOST EVERYTHING ON MY LIST.

THE CROWDS AT THE STORES WERE UNBELIEVABLE.

WELL, I TOLD YOU IF YOU WAIT UNTIL THE AFTERNOON

OF NEW YEAR'S EVE TO DO YOUR SHOPPING,

IT WAS GONNA BE LIKE THAT.

CARLA? YEAH, BOSS?

WHAT DO YOU THINK I WANT FROM YOU RIGHT NOW?

THE HEAD COUNT FOR THE PARTY.

AH, YOU NEVER CEASE TO AMAZE ME.

OOH! ME TOO. [ CHUCKLES ]

ARE YOU SURE YOU AND MAC DON'T WANT TO COME OVER?

OH, NO, THANKS.

WE'RE GONNA DO WHAT WE DO EVERY YEAR --

OPEN A COUPLE OF WINE COOLERS, WAIT FOR THE BALL TO DROP,

AND THEN FALL ASLEEP AT A QUARTER TO MIDNIGHT.

WELL, YOU BETTER GO EARLY. YOU DON'T WANT TO BE LATE FOR THAT.

HAPPY NEW YEAR.

SAME TO YOU.

[ DIALING ]

[ Telephone rings ]

Maureen: HEY, SUSAN.

Hey. Are you gonna be able to get off early?

NEVER FEAR, MY FRIEND.

I'VE GOT THE REST OF MY SHIFT TAKEN CARE OF.

I WILL BE AT YOUR PLACE WITH TIME TO COOK,

GET READY, AND TIME TO SPARE.

YES!

DO YOU NEED ME TO PICK ANYTHING ELSE UP FROM THE STORE?

No. Got it covered.

OOH. SISTER MAUREEN, YOU ARE A GODSEND.

THAT NEVER GETS OLD, SUSAN.

[ Laughing ] I'LL SEE YOU SOON.

Perfect. Love you.

I LOVE YOU MORE. [ CELLPHONE BEEPS ]

SISTER MAUREEN, DON'T YOU THINK

THAT OUTFIT'S A LITTLE INAPPROPRIATE FOR A SISTER?

IT'S NEW YEAR'S EVE.

COME ON. YOU GOT TO LET YOUR HAIR DOWN SOMETIME.

SEE YOU LOVELY LADIES LATER!

Woman: HAPPY NEW YEAR! BYE!

[ SIGHS ]

HMM.

"SUSAN'S HEART HINTS."

"MY LAST HINT FOR THIS YEAR --

"BE REAL AND BE REALISTIC.

YOUR PRINCE CHARMING MIGHT JUST BE DISGUISED AS A FROG."

[ LAUGHS ]

[ BEEP ]

[ TELEPHONE RINGS ]

Woman: ROMANCE-4-YOU.com. CAN I HELP YOU?

I'LL BE DONE IN JUST A SEC, GIRLS.

OKAY. COOL.

DONE. FINISHED. FINITO.

LAST PAGE OF WORK FOR THIS YEAR.

AND THE CROWD GOES WILD!

[ IMITATES CROWD NOISES ]

LET'S GO TO THE MARKET AND GET SOME JUNK FOOD.

DAD, I REALLY THINK YOU SHOULD BE GOING OUT TONIGHT.

YEAH, TO SOME AWESOME PARTY.

NO WAY, DUDETTES.

I'M GONNA BE SPENDING MY NEW YEAR'S EVE

WITH MY TWO FAVORITE GIRLS.

THAT'S VERY FLATTERING, BUT YOU NEED ADULT COMPANY.

INTERPERSONAL ATTACHMENTS ARE KEY TO A HEALTHY PSYCHE.

YOU ARE SUCH A FREAK.

SWEETHEART.

YOU RUN ONE OF THE MOST SUCCESSFUL

ONLINE DATING SERVICES,

AND YOU CAN'T USE YOUR MATCHMAKING SKILLS

TO GET YOURSELFA DATE?

I'M NOT A MATCHMAKER.

I'M SIMPLY A GUY THAT KNOWS HOW TO WORK WITH COMPUTERS.

AND, NO, I DO NOT NEED A DATE,

BECAUSE I HAVE THE BOTH OF YOU TWO.

COME ON. LET'S GO GET SOME PARTY HATS AND CHIP DIP.

[ UP-TEMPO JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING ]

[ LAUGHS ]

Susan: THIS IS DELICIOUS!

YOU HAVE OUTDONE YOURSELF, SISTER MAUREEN.

THANK YOU. I SHOULD HAVE MADE MORE, THOUGH.

YOUR GUESTS HAVE VERY HEALTHY APPETITES.

MUST BE LOVE.

MISS FLOWERS! LOOK! [ SQUEALS ]

OHH! CONGRATULATIONS!

WAY TO GO.

AND IT'S ALL THANKS TO YOU.

SHE'S THE BEST, ISN'T SHE?

OH, WE'D NEVER HAVE FOUND EACH OTHER

IF IT WEREN'T FOR MISS FLOWERS.

AWW, YOU'RE MUCH TOO KIND. I'M JUST DOING MY JOB.

COME ON, DARLING. WE HAVE TO GET READY FOR MIDNIGHT.

ANOTHER PAIR OF SATISFIED CUSTOMERS.

YEAH. ONE MORE HAPPY COUPLE.

[ UP-TEMPO JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING ]

Cassie: JENNIFER, HURRY!

DAD, HURRY UP!

IT'S ALMOST MIDNIGHT!

I'M COMING. OKAY, OKAY, I'M COMING.

SAY SOMETHING TO THE CAMERA.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

NOT YET.

WE'LL DO ANOTHER TAKE WHEN THE BALL DROPS.

WHATEVER YOU SAY, MISS SPIELBERG. [ LAUGHS ]

Woman: IT'S TIME FOR THE COUNTDOWN... IT'S STARTING!

OKAY.

TAKE IT AWAY, RICH! Rich: HERE WE GO --

All: 10, 9, 8, 7, 6...

All: ...5, 4...

I HAVE A RESOLUTION.

...2, 1!

WHAT IS IT?

[ ALL CHEERING ]

[ NOISEMAKERS BLOWING ]

WHAT?!

I'LL TELL YOU LATER.

HANG ON. I'M --

HEY! THANK YOU!

UH --

Woman: HERE WE GO!

[ UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING ]

[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]

All: HAPPY NEW YEAR!

WHOO-HOO!

[ LAUGHTER ]

HAPPY -- MWAH! -- NEW -- MWAH! -- YEAR.

[ LAUGHS ] HAPPY NEW YEAR, DAD.

HAPPY NEW YEAR.

WE'LL GO SEE THOSE FIREWORKS NEXT YEAR.

YES. WHOO-HOO!

Maureen: I'VE NEVER SEEN A PARTY CLEAR OUT SO FAST.

OH, MY COUPLES COULDN'T WAIT TO LEAVE AND CELEBRATE PRIVATELY.

YOU ARE VERY GOOD AT WHAT YOU DO.

TRUE.

[ BOTH LAUGH ]

SO, WHAT'S THAT NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION?

OH, NOTHING. IT WAS SILLY.

I'M SO GLAD YOU COULD MAKE IT TONIGHT.

YOU SOUNDED DESPERATE FOR HELP ON THE PHONE.

SISTER EMMA WAS FREE TO TAKE MY SHIFT, SO IT ALL WORKED OUT.

I FEEL A LITTLE GUILTY ABOUT TAKING YOU AWAY FROM THE HOSPITAL.

YOU REALLY THINK YOU GOT AWAY WITH IT, DON'T YOU?

WITH WHAT?

CHANGING THE SUBJECT, YOUR LITTLE DIVERSION.

I WASN'T BORN YESTERDAY, MY FRIEND.

COME ON, OUT WITH IT. WHAT'S YOUR NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION?

IT'S NOTHING. IT'S JUST SOMETHING I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT.

YEAH?

YOU KNOW, SEEING ALL MY COUPLES HERE TOGETHER

AND... TURNING 40 THIS YEAR.

COME ON! SPIT IT OUT!

I CAN'T. I WROTE IT DOWN.

HAND IT OVER. THERE WE GO.

"BY NEXT NEW YEAR'S EVE, I, SUSAN FLOWERS,

WILL HAVE FOUND THE PERFECT MAN AND WILL KISS AT MIDNIGHT."

[ DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAY]

[ SNORING ]

[ BOTH GIGGLING ]

WHY ARE YOU GUYS STILL UP?

WE COULD ASK YOU THE SAME THING.

I'M WATCHING "WHEN SCORPIONS RULED THE EARTH."

THAT IS SO LAME, DAD.

[ CHUCKLES ] NO, IT'S QUITE EXCITING.

SHE'S NOT REFERRING TO THE MOVIE.

ALTHOUGH I WOULD HAVE CHOSEN A BETTER WORD.

"PATHETIC" MIGHT FIT THE BILL.

WHAT ARE YOU GUYS TALKING ABOUT?

YOU, SITTING HERE ALL BY YOURSELF

ON THE MOST AMAZING PARTY NIGHT OF THE YEAR.

TRUST ME. IT IS OVERRATED.

I BET YOU AND MOM USED TO GO OUT TO CELEBRATE

AT STUPENDOUS NEW YEAR'S EVE PARTIES.

WELL, THAT WAS A LONG TIME AGO.

I REMEMBER ONE TIME I SNUCK OUT OF BED

TO WATCH YOU GUYS LEAVE.

MOM WAS WEARING THIS SILVER, GLITTERY DRESS.

AH HA HA!

I KNOW WHAT YOU GUYS ARE UP TO, AND YOU'RE NOT GONNA FOOL ME.

YOU'RE LOOKING FOR AN EXCUSE SO YOU CAN STAY UP LATE,

AND YOU CAN'T FIND ONE.

DAD! DAD!

"DAD"! COME ON, BACK TO BED.

BUT THIS ONLY HAPPENS ONCE A YEAR. WE CAN SLEEP IN TOMORROW.

HAPPY NEW YEAR, JENNIFER.

I LOVE YOU.

HAPPY NEW YEAR, CASSIE.

I LOVE YOU, TOO.

NOW GET LOST.

GO ON, OFF TO BED. GO.

OKAY. GOOD NIGHT, DAD.

GOOD NIGHT. NIGHT.

THANKS FOR HELPING ME CLEAN UP.

MWAH! MWAH!

I LOVE YOU. DRIVE CAREFULLY.

ALL RIGHT, SLEEP TIGHT.

[ LOCK ENGAGES ]

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

[ DOOR CREAKS ]

IT'S OKAY. JUST ME.

BAD DREAM?

I THOUGHT IT WAS DAD.

NO, HE FELL ASLEEP DOWNSTAIRS WITH THE TV ON.

LIKE HE DOES EVERY NIGHT.

SO, WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO ABOUT HIM?

YOU HAVE TO BE MORE SPECIFIC.

HE HAS NO SOCIAL LIFE.

YOU HAVE A POINT.

SO, HE'LL NEVER MEET ANYONE.

A LOGICAL CONCLUSION.

I'D LIKE FOR DAD TO BE HAPPY AGAIN,

THE WAY HE WAS WHEN MOM WAS ALIVE.

I DON'T REMEMBER BACK THAT FAR.

AND I WOULDN'T MIND HAVING A WOMAN TO TALK TO.

PERSONALLY, I CAN GET ALONG QUITE WELL WITHOUT FEMALE INPUT.

THAT'S BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH YOU USE ALL THOSE GINORMOUS WORDS,

YOU'RE STILL A CHILD.

YOU HAVEN'T GOT...

ISSUES THAT YOU NEED TO DISCUSS WITH A FEMALE.

BUT I DO.

SO, WHAT YOU'RE SAYING IS THAT WE HAVE TO FIND DAD

AN APPROPRIATE FEMALE COMPANION --

SOMEONE WHO WILL BE A GOOD PARTNER FOR HIM

AND A SUITABLE MENTOR FOR YOU.

THAT'S EXACTLYWHAT I'M SAYING, ONLY IN ENGLISH.

I'LL GO ONLINE AND RESEARCH THE SUBJECT IN THE MORNING.

NOW GO BACK TO BED.

CAN I STAY HERE?

AS LONG AS YOU DON'T SNORE.

[ CHUCKLES ]

IT'S NOT FAIR.

WHAT'S NOT FAIR?

THAT YOU HAVE MEMORIES OF MOM AND I DON'T.

GO TO SLEEP.

[ BIRDS CHIRPING ]

[ DOOR OPENS ] MR. O'MALLEY, MY ASSISTANT, CARLA,

WILL BE SENDING YOUR INVOICE IN THE MAIL, BUT REMEMBER --

MY SERVICES ARE NOT COMPLETED UNTIL I FIND YOUR PERFECT MATCH.

OH, I THINK YOU ALREADY HAVE.

I'LL CALL YOU THE MINUTE I'VE SPOKEN WITH MISS MOON.

MISS MOON -- WHAT A BEAUTIFUL NAME.

DOREEN IS JUST LIKE SHE SOUNDS --

NURTURING, SWEET, AND KIND.

I NEED A NEW SUIT.

AND SHIRTS -- BRIGHT COLORS.

AND MAYBE A HAIRCUT -- ONE OF THOSE $30 JOBS.

OKAY, FRANK, HOLD ON.

JUST BE YOURSELF, OKAY?

'CAUSE WHEN I LOOK AT YOU AS YOU ARE, YOU ARE THE RIGHT MAN --

JUST THE PERSON I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR

TO INTRODUCE TO THIS AMAZING WOMAN.

ME? THE RIGHT MAN?

[ LAUGHS ]

[ INHALES SHARPLY ]

[ SIGHS ] [ DOOR CLOSES ]

I'VE BEEN WATCHING YOU DO IT FOR YEARS,

AND I'M STILL IMPRESSED.

ARE YOU GIVING ME A COMPLIMENT?

I'D DO ANYTHING TO KEEP MY JOB.

[ BOTH LAUGH ]

OHH, LOOK AT THE TIME!

I SPENT TOO LONG WITH MR. O'MALLEY.

I'M SUPPOSED TO BE MEETING MY MOM FOR LUNCH.

OH, SHE'S BACK FROM HER CARIBBEAN CRUISE?

YEAH, LATE LAST NIGHT.

SHE WAS FEELING A LITTLE DOWN BEFORE SHE LEFT.

I HOPE THIS CRUISE LIFTED HER SPIRITS A BIT.

WELL, GO FIND OUT RIGHT NOW. GO AHEAD. LEAVE.

OKAY. WHAT TIME IS MY NEXT CLIENT?

CANCELED. AND THE ONE AFTER HER.

SO YOU CAN TAKE A LONGLUNCH.

THAT'S THE FOURTH CANCELLATION THIS WEEK. WHAT IS GOING ON?

WELL, NOW THAT I HAVE A FEW HOURS TO SPARE,

I'M GONNA FIND OUT.

GOOD. SEE YOU AT 3:00.

BYE-BYE.

MY 3:00 ISCOMING, RIGHT?

SO FAR, SO GOOD.

Kay: ALL RIGHT, NOW TURN AROUND AND FACE ME.

OHHH!

AHH!

STUNNING! LIKE A MAGAZINE COVER!

DOESN'T SHE LOOK STUNNING?

LISTEN, I'VE OWNED THIS SHOP FOR OVER 30 YEARS.

ANYONE WILL TELL YOU I AM NOT A GUSHER,

BUT TODAY I'M GUSHING.

[ LAUGHTER ]

NOW, LADIES, I'M GOING TO LEAVE YOU WITH RACHEL.

SHE WILL TAKE EXCELLENT CARE OF YOU, ALL RIGHT?

JUST DON'T GO AND BREAK MY HEART AND PICK ANOTHER GOWN.

BECAUSE YOU LOOK STUNNING.

HI, BABY.

WELCOME HOME, MOM.

MWAH! MWAH!

MWAH! MWAH!

SO, UH, SHOULD WE TAKE MY CAR OR YOURS?

I MADE THE RESERVATION.

LA ROSE BLANC IS ONLY 10 BLOCKS AWAY. WE'RE GONNA WALK.

10 BLOCKS? [ GROANS ]

EXERCISE, BABY -- IT'S GOOD FOR THE MIND AND THE BODY.

OH, HONEY, CAN YOU DO ME A TEENY FAVOR?

SURE. WHAT?

WELL, WHILE I WAS ON THE CRUISE, I WAS THINKING --

YOU AND I ARE REALLY MORE LIKE FRIENDS

THAN MOTHER AND DAUGHTER.

FRIENDS? EXACTLY.

GIRLFRIENDS, BUDDIES.

SO, UH, HOW ABOUT FROM NOW ON,

YOU CALL ME "KAY" INSTEAD OF "MOM"?

[ GASPS ]

YOU MET A MAN!

THAT'S WHAT IT IS, ISN'T IT?

NO!

YES! [ LAUGHS ]

MOM!

KAY! [ LAUGHS ]

AWW. I HOPE YOU'RE NOT UPSET.

UPSET? NO, I'M ECSTATIC.

AWW. GOOD. I'M SO RELIEVED.

I CAN HARDLY WAIT TO MEET HIM.

OH, THAT'S GOOD, BECAUSE HE'S WAITING FOR US AT THE RESTAURANT.

WHAT? OH, NO! [ LAUGHS ]

I DON'T EVEN -- HOW DO I LOOK?

YOU LOOK DIVINE. [ LAUGHS ]

OH, HIS NAME IS ARTHUR -- ARTHUR WRIGHT.

YOU MET "MR. RIGHT."

IT'S SPELLED WITH A "W," BUT HE IS MYMR. RIGHT.

OH, GOOD.

[ Singsong voice ] AND REMEMBER --

I KNOW -- "KAY." "KAY" IT IS.

I HOPE YOU LIKE HIM.

I'LL LOVE HIM.

THAT'S GOOD.

Arthur: SO SHE SAYS, "NO WONDER HE CAN'T WEAR GLASSES.

IT'S NOT THAT HE HAS ONE EYE. HE ONLY HAS ONE EAR."

[ LAUGHTER ]

YOU'RE A BAD BOY, ARTIE.

[ CHUCKLES ]

OH, UH, YOUR MOTHER TELLS ME YOU'RE A MATCHMAKER?

WELL, I-I OWN HEARTS & FLOWERS.

IT'S A SMALL MATCHMAKING BUSINESS.

HEARTS & FLOW-- FLOWERS?

[ LAUGHS ] OH, LIKE -- LIKE YOUR LAST NAME.

THAT -- OH, THAT'S -- THAT'S BRILLIANT!

OH, YOU DIDN'T TELL ME SHE WAS SMART, TOO.

[ COUGHS ]

YOU ALL RIGHT, SWEETIE?

NO, NO, I'M FINE. I'M FINE.

NEVER FELT BETTER...KAY.

DID Y'ALL HEAR THE ONE ABOUT THE --

GUY GOES INTO A BAR WITH A DUCK ON HIS HEAD.

[ CHUCKLES ] HE W--

MAYBE I BETTER NOT TELL THAT ONE -- MIXED COMPANY.

YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN?

NEVER MET ANYONE WHO'S SO CONSIDERATE.

HAVE I TOLD YOU LATELY THAT YOU'RE GORGEOUS?

MWAH!

SO, WHERE ARE YOU FROM, ARTHUR?

BUFFALO -- BEAUTIFUL BUFFALO, NEW YORK.

I'M IN SUPERMARKETS. I WASIN SUPERMARKETS.

[ CHUCKLES ]

STARTED WITH ONE, ENDED WITH 16.

I SOLD OUT TO THE BIG BOYS. LET THEM WORRY.

OH, YOU DON'T HAVE ENOUGH TO DRINK.

[ SNAPS FINGERS ] SWEETIE! OVER THIS WAY!

UH, MORE WINE, PLEASE. THANK YOU.

CAN'T GET HELP. CAN'T GET HELP. THAT'S WHY I SOLD OUT.

[ CHUCKLES ]

SORRY I'M LATE.

DON'T START. I JUST HAD THE WORST LUNCH OF MY LIFE.

NO PROBLEM.

IS MY 3:00 WAITING? SHE CANCELED.

WHAT?

I KNOW EXACTLY WHY.

WHILE YOU WERE OUT, I WAS POKING AROUND THE INTERNET.

TAKE A SEAT.

READ IT AND WEEP.

ROMANCE-4-YOU.com?

"WHY LEAVE THE BIGGEST DECISION OF YOUR LIFE TO CHANCE?

"OUR SCIENTIFICALLY-BASED COMPATIBILITY FORMULA

"WILL MATCH YOU WITH THE PERFECT DATE

AND POTENTIAL LIFE PARTNER."

"SCIENTIFICALLY-BASED"?

WHAT, ARE THEY BRINGING TOGETHER ROBOTS OR SOMETHING?

SOME HUGE CORPORATION OUT OF ASIA.

THIS IS THEIR FIRST AMERICAN FRANCHISE,

AND THEY'VE OPENED UP RIGHT HERE IN THE VALLEY.

SO THAT'S WHY MY CLIENTS HAVE BEEN DISAPPEARING.

THAT'S IT? THAT'S YOUR REACTION?

TAKE IT EASY. I'LL COME UP WITH SOMETHING.

I JUST HAVE TO TAKE A LITTLE TIME TO THINK ABOUT IT.

WELL, DON'T TAKE LONG.

I'M TOO OLD TO GO FIND A NEW JOB.

[ SIGHS ]

[ LAUGHTER ]

[ TELEPHONE RINGING ]

[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]

[ TELEPHONE RINGS ]

MISS BERNSTEIN, MR. MATSUI, JOSH SHERMAN SPEAKING.

WHY DON'T I OUTLINE THE ROMANCE-4-YOU.com BUSINESS PLAN?

Susan: "SUSAN'S HEART HINTS."

"AS SHAKESPEARE SAID,

"'LOVE LOOKS NOT WITH THE EYES, BUT WITH THE MIND.'

"SOMETIMES, HOWEVER, IT'S A GOOD IDEA

TO WIPE YOUR GLASSES AND TAKE A SECOND LOOK."

CARLA?

Carla: WHAT?

I NEED YOU.

THIS BETTER BE IMPORTANT, GIRL.

I WAS ON THE LAST CHAPTER OF MY DANIELLE STEEL NOVEL.

TAKE MY PICTURE.

I DON'T PUT THIS IN THE "IMPORTANT" CATEGORY.

WELL, IT IS.

BECAUSE?

BECAUSE IT'S GOING ALONG WITH MY ONLINE PROFILE

TO ROMANCE-4-YOU.com.

THE ONLY WAY TO TAKE ON THE COMPETITION

IS TO SHOW THAT WE'RE BETTER.

YEAH.

AND THE WAY TO SHOW THAT HEARTS & FLOWERS' PERSONAL TOUCH WORKS

IS TO PROVE THAT ROMANCE-4-YOU.com's COMPUTER TOUCH DOESN'T.

RIGHT. MEET THEIR NEWEST CLIENT.

YOU SNEAKY LITTLE DEVIL, YOU.

I LEARNED IT ALL FROM YOU. NOW, COME ON.

[ LAUGHS ]

TAKE MY PICTURE SO WE CAN UPLOAD IT

AND GET THIS SHOW ON THE ROAD.

BIG SMILE.

[ CAMERA CLICKS ]

OKAY, LEAN FORWARD. GIVE ME A BIG SMILE.

[ CAMERA CLICKS ]

OOH, THAT'S A GOOD ONE.

[ PARKING BRAKE CLICKS, ENGINE SHUTS OFF ]

[ WATER RUNNING ]

Susan: MOM?

I'M IN THE KITCHEN, BABY.

WHAT'S THE EMERGENCY?

WHAT EMERGENCY? THERE'S NO EMERGENCY.

LOOK, I MADE SOME LOVELY CANAPéS.

YOU CAN CALM DOWN.

NO, YOU -- YOU LEFT FIVE VOICEMAILS.

YOU SAID YOU NEEDED TO SEE ME RIGHT AWAY.

OH, SWEETIE, I'M SO SORRY. I DIDN'T MEAN TO ALARM YOU.

I JUST -- I-I-I HAVE SOMETHING TO SHARE WITH YOU, THAT'S ALL.

OKAY, SHARE. SHARE AWAY. WELL, HOW ABOUT SOMETHING TO EAT?

I'VE GOT SOME LOVELY LEMONADE --

MOM, I'M GOOD. JUST TELL ME -- WHAT'S GOING ON?

UH, ARTHUR SOLD HIS HOUSE IN BUFFALO.

OKAY.

AND I NEED TO KNOW THIS BECAUSE?

BECAUSE HE'S MOVING TO CALIFORNIA.

OKAY.

INTO THE HOUSE.

WITH ME.

ARTHUR? HERE?

[ ICE CUBES CLINKING ] WITH YOU?

I WAS AFRAID YOU WERE GONNA HAVE THIS KIND OF REACTION.

OH, MOM.

SUSAN, ARTHUR ISN'T THE WAY HE APPEARS ON THE SURFACE.

OH, I'M SO RELIEVED.

I THOUGHT HE WAS LOUD AND UNCOUTH

AND TOLD REALLY BAD JOKES.

I'M SO GLAD I WAS WRONG.

WELL, NOT EXACTLY.

OKAY, SO HE IS LOUD AND UNCOUTH --

I DON'T NEED THE WHOLE LIST AGAIN.

I MEAN, SOME PEOPLE CAN BE THOSE THINGS

AND STILL BE EXCEPTIONAL HUMAN BEINGS,

WHICH ARTHUR IS.

I SEE.

NO, YOU DON'TSEE, SUSAN. YOU DON'T SEE AT ALL.

[ SCOFFS ]

ARTIE GAVE ME BACK A FEELING OF JOY ABOUT MY LIFE.

I NEED THAT.

I NEED IT SO BADLY.

PLEASE TRY TO UNDERSTAND THAT.

MOM, I'M TRYING.

BUT MY DAD WAS AN EXCEPTIONAL HUMAN BEING

INSIDE AND OUT.

HE'S A REALLY HARD ACT TO FOLLOW.

I KNOW, AND I'M NOT TRYING TO REPLACE HIM, SWEETIE,

AND I'M NOT TRYING TO HAVE YOUREPLACE HIM.

I'M ASKING YOU TO GIVE ARTHUR A CHANCE.

I-I-I JUST WANT YOU TO SEE HIM THE WAY I SEE HIM.

HE MAKES ME HAPPY.

YEAH.

I KNOW.

AND I WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY.

THANK YOU, BABY.

[ TELEPHONE RINGING ]

THIS IS PRETTY LAME SO FAR, DAD.

I FIND THE DATABASE-DRIVEN APPLICATIONS VERY INTERESTING.

A CHIP OFF THE OLD BLOCK, HUH?

ELIZABETH, COULD THE GIRLS HELP YOU WITH SOMETHING,

PREFERABLY SOMETHING WILDLY EXCITING?

I'VE GOT JUST THE JOB.

HOW ABOUT YOU LADIES DO SOME COPYING FOR ME?

WHATEVER. WE'D LOVE TO ASSIST.

I GOT A COUPLE CALLS TO MAKE,

AND THEN I WILL TAKE MY TWO NEW ASSISTANTS OUT FOR LUNCH.

[ DIALING ]

AND WHEN THE NEW PROFILES COME IN,

WE MAKE TWO COPIES OF THE PRINTOUTS --

ONE FOR ACCOUNTING, ONE FOR RECORDS.

GOT IT.

GREAT. HERE YOU GO.

I'VE SORTED THEM INTO TWO PILES -- MALE AND FEMALE.

YOU KEEP THEM SORTED THAT WAY.

I'LL BE BACK IN A FEW MINUTES TO CHECK IN ON YOU.

COME AND GET ME IF YOU RUN INTO ANY PROBLEMS.

THANK YOU. IT SOUNDS PRETTY ELEMENTARY.

SO, TWO COPIES.

VOILà.

NO, MAKE THREECOPIES OF THE FEMALE PILE.

BUT SHE SPECIFICALLY SAID "TWO."

AND I'M SPECIFICALLY SAYING "THREE."

WHY? [ SCOFFS ]

FOR SOMEONE SO SMART, YOU CAN BE PRETTY DUMB.

THE THIRD COPY'S FOR US.

WHY WOULD WE WANT A --

THESE ARE ALL THE LADIES LOOKING FOR MEN TO DATE.

WHAT ARE WE LOOKING FOR?

A LADY FOR DAD TO DATE.

[ BEEPING ]

[ KEYS CLACKING ]

ROMANCE-4-YOU.com.

[ WHINES ]

[ GASPS ]

BAILEY! I HAVE TREATS!

COME HERE! COME HERE!

GOOD BOY!

HEY!

HEY!

I CAME STRAIGHT FROM WORK SO THAT I'D HAVE TIME

TO COOK BEFORE CLASS.

OH, AND I FOUND THE PERFECT DOCTOR TO SET YOU UP WITH.

ATTRACTIVE, BUT TOTALLY THE WRONG OUTFIT

FOR COOKING A KOSHER MEAL.

BAILEY'S GOING TO HAVE TO BE YOUR SOUS CHEF.

I WON'T BE HERE FOR THE COOKING PART, ONLY THE EATING.

HOW COME?

I HAVE A DATE. OH, THANK YOU, LORD.

I DON'T THINK HE HAD ANYTHING TO DO WITH IT.

IT'S A ROMANCE-4-YOU.com DATE --

MY FIRST SCIENTIFICALLY- COMPATIBLE MATCH.

SCIENTIFICALLY-COMPATIBLE... WHAT?

A WEBSITE MATCHED US UP. IT'S A NEW VENTURE IN THE VALLEY.

APPARENTLY, THEY'VE BEEN SLOWLY STEALING MY CLIENTS

FOR THE LAST FEW MONTHS.

THIS IS TOTALLY NOT WHAT I HAD IN MIND

WHEN I WANTED TO PLAN A DATING PROGRAM FOR YOU.

WHY ARE YOU LETTING THEM SET YOU UP ON A DATE?

IT'S THE 21st CENTURY.

THEY'RE VERY HIGH-TECH

AND CLAIM THEIR COMPUTERS CAN DO MY JOB BETTER.

NO WAY! YOU BROUGHT TOGETHER MORE COUPLES THAN NOAH.

DON'T WORRY. I'M GONNA PROVE THAT THEY CAN'T.

AND WHEN I DO, I'M GONNA PRINT IT FOR THE WHOLE WORLD TO SEE

ON MY "HEART HINTS" BLOG.

I LOVE IT. [ CHUCKLES ]

♪ EVERYBODY'S GOT A LONELY LIFE ♪

[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]

HAVE A GOOD NIGHT.

Woman: THANKS. GOOD NIGHT.

♪ IT'S OFF TO SEE THE WIZARD AT THE ZOO ♪

GREAT.

HE'S PERFECT.

HI, BABY.

[ CHUCKLES ]

♪ TELL ME BEFORE WE GO

WANT TO GO? UH-HUH.

♪ IT'S A LONELY SONG

HI. HEY!

Ms. Moskovitz: OH, GOSH. IS MY CAB HERE?

HE'S WAITING OUT FRONT.

THANK YOU, DEAR.

I'LL BE IN TOUCH, MS. MOSKOVITZ,

BUT YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO BE PATIENT.

IT MIGHT TAKE SOME TIME TO FIND A SUITABLE GENTLEMAN,

YOU KNOW, IN YOUR AGE GROUP.

OH, I'M NOT VERY PICKY.

HE JUST NEEDS TO HAVE A DRIVER'S LICENSE

AND MOST OF HIS HEARING.

OKAY.

THANKS, MS. MOSKOVITZ.

BYE-BYE.

[ DOOR CLOSES ]

OH, IF I EVER DIVORCE MAC, HEFITS THE BILL.

OKAY, STOP THAT. YOU ARE NEVER GONNA DIVORCE MAC.

YOU WERE MY FIRST AND BEST MATCH.

WELL, LET'S MAKE SURE YOU GET TO DO MORE OF YOUR MAGIC.

GO IN THERE AND WRITE UP YOUR BAD DATE ON THE BLOG.

NOT YET.

COME ON. LET'S SEE. LET'S SEE IF ANYTHING NEW HAS COME IN.

[ KEYS CLACKING ]

AH, HERE YOU GO.

LONELY LEGAL BEAGLE, 42-YEAR-OLD CRIMINAL LAWYER,

OFFICES IN CENTURY CITY, HIS OWN HOME IN BEVERLY HILLS.

THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT.

"WHAT ARE THE QUALITIES OF YOUR IDEAL PARTNER?"

"NICE PERSONALITY,

TINY FEET THAT LOOK GREAT IN OPEN-TOED SHOES."

"WHAT IS YOUR IDEA OF A PERFECT DATE?"

"WALKING ALONG THE SANTA MONICA PIER WITH MY LADY WEARING..."

"OPEN-TOES SHOES WITH RED POLISH ON HER NAILS."

EWW. EWW.

I HAVE ONE QUESTION.

IF YOU GO OUT WITH HIM, WHO FOOTS THE BILL?

[ BOTH LAUGH ]

Jennifer: HOW ABOUT THIS ONE?

"AUBURN HAIR, GREEN EYES, OUTGOING, SMART,

AND NOT AFRAID OF WHAT TOMORROW BRINGS."

SHE RUNS MARATHONS, HAS TRAVELED THE WORLD,

AND SHE LOVES ANIMALS.

REALLYLOVES THEM. SHE HAS 14 CATS.

OH. I MISSED THAT.

HEY, THIS ONE SOUNDS EXCELLENT.

HER HOBBIES ARE THEATER, MUSIC, AND LITERATURE.

AND LOOK AT HER PROFESSION -- A MAKEUP ARTIST.

SHE'S AWESOME.

NOT QUITE.

WHAT NOW?

"NOT WILLING TO RELOCATE FROM..."

FAIRBANKS, ALASKA?!

I GIVE UP.

WAIT. HERE'S A POSSIBILITY.

LET ME SEE.

"WHAT ARE YOUR BEST QUALITIES?"

"A GOOD SENSE OF HUMOR, LOYALTY TO MY FRIENDS."

COOL.

"WHAT QUALITIES DO YOU VALUE MOST IN A PARTNER?"

"INTELLIGENCE, HUMOR, AND HE HAS TO LIKE MY DOG."

DAD LOVES DOGS.

[ CHUCKLES ]

"WHAT IS YOUR IDEA OF THE PERFECT DATE?"

"HORSEBACK RIDING THROUGH THE HOLLYWOOD HILLS AT SUNSET."

SHE RIDES.

AND SHE'S A SELF-EMPLOYED BUSINESSWOMAN WHO LIVES HERE.

WHAT DO WE DO NOW?

WE RESPOND, OF COURSE, AND THEN SHE WRITES BACK.

WHY WOULD SHE WRITE BACK TO A COUPLE OF KIDS?

SHE WOULDN'T, BUT SHE'D WRITE BACK TO "DELIGHTFUL DAD,"

A HANDSOME WIDOWER WITH TWO EXCEPTIONAL DAUGHTERS.

SICK.

THAT'S A COMPLIMENT IN YOUR VERNACULAR, RIGHT?

FOR SURE.

[ KEYS CLACKING ]

"DEAR ROMANTIC AT HEART..."

Susan: "DEAR ROMANTIC AT HEART." HMM.

"READ YOUR PROFILE WITH INTEREST.

"I'M A WIDOWER WITH TWO DARLING DAUGHTERS

LOOKING FOR THE RIGHT WOMAN TO COME INTO OUR LIVES."

AND HERE COMES NUMBER THREE.

"DEAR DELIGHTFUL DAD..."

"DEAR DELIGHTFUL DAD, THANK YOU FOR RESPONDING TO MY PROFILE.

YOU SOUND LIKE THE KIND OF PERSON I WOULD LOVE TO MEET."

"LET'S SET UP SOMETHING."

"LOOKING FORWARD TO MEETING YOU.

SUSAN."

SUSAN. A GOOD NAME -- FEMININE, YET STRONG.

I THINK DAD'S GONNA LIKE HER.

ONE PROBLEM -- HOW DO WE GET THEM TO MEET?

WE SET UP A DATE.

DAD IS NOT GONNA GO OUT ON A DATE,

ESPECIALLY WHEN HE FINDS OUT HOW HE GOT IT --

HOW WEGOT IT.

HE WON'T FIND OUT.

EVEN FOR YOU, THIS IS CRAZY.

HOW WON'T HE KNOW HE'S ON A DATE?

WATCH AND LEARN.

"DEAR SUSAN, I'M THRILLED THAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO MEET."

NO, "THRILLED" SOUNDS LIKE HE'S DESPERATE.

"I'M VERY PLEASED THAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO MEET."

COME IN.

[ DOOR CREAKS ]

IT'S VERY QUIET IN HERE.

HOW'S THE HOMEWORK COMING?

TOUGH DAY AT SCHOOL, DAD. WE'RE SLOGGING THROUGH IT.

WELL, KEEP AT IT.

SUPPER WILL BE READY IN HALF AN HOUR.

[ CHUCKLES ]

"YOU SOUND LIKE AN EXCEPTIONAL PERSON.

AND I THINK WE WOULD MAKE A GOOD MATCH."

"HOWEVER, I HAVE AN UNUSUAL REQUEST,

WHICH I HOPE YOU WILL CONSIDER."

UH-OH.

"MY TWO DAUGHTERS COME FIRST IN MY LIFE." WELL, THAT'S GOOD.

"AND I HAVEN'T DATED SINCE THEIR MOTHER PASSED AWAY

SIX YEARS AGO."

SO SAD!

OKAY, STICK TO THE LATKES.

"I'M NOT SURE HOW THEY WILL REACT

TO THEIR DAD STARTING TO DATE AGAIN."

HE'S A THOUGHTFUL MAN.

"SO HERE'S WHAT I'D LIKE TO SUGGEST.

"EVERY SATURDAY,

MY DAUGHTER CASSIE GOES RIDING AT THE TUMBLEWEED STABLES."

Cassie: "SHE GETS THERE AROUND NOON,

AND WE GO TO A NEARBY PLACE FOR LUNCH."

"HOW WOULD IT BE

"IF WE ACCIDENTALLY BUMPED INTO YOU AT THE STABLES,

"PERHAPS BY ASKING YOU TO SUGGEST A RESTAURANT?

I HOPE YOU WILL DECIDE TO COME."

"SINCERELY..."

"SINCERELY, JOSH."

"...JOSH."

I LIKE THE WAY THIS JOSH THINKS.

OKAY. DEVIOUSLY?

NO, HE'S MINDFUL OF HIS CHILDREN'S FEELINGS.

SO, THIS ALL SOUNDS LEGIT TO YOU?

YEAH, BUT I'M ONE OF THOSE ZANY BELIEVERS

IN THE BASIC DECENCY OF PEOPLE.

HMM. SO YOU THINK I SHOULD GO TO THE TUMBLEWEED STABLES AND MEET WITH THIS GUY?

ABSOLUTELY. IT'S A WIN-WIN SITUATION.

HOW SO?

WELL, IF HE IS WHO HE SAYS HE IS,

YOU MEET A CANDIDATE FOR KISSING AT MIDNIGHT NEXT NEW YEAR'S EVE.

IF HE ISN'T, WELL...

YOU GOT ANOTHER DATING FIASCO TO WRITE ABOUT FOR YOUR BLOG.

YOU FORGOT THE THIRD POSSIBILITY. WHAT'S THAT?

WHAT IF HE'S THE TUMBLEWEED STABLE STRANGLER?

OH, YEAH. I'LL BE AT WORK.

HAVE YOUR CELLPHONE HANDY, WITH ME ON SPEED DIAL.

[ CHUCKLES ]

OHH! STUNNING, LIKE A MAGAZINE COVER!

OHH.

Woman: DO YOU LIKE IT?

IT MUST BE QUITE AN ADJUSTMENT FOR YOU --

LEAVING BUFFALO, MOVING HERE.

I WOULD MOVE TO THE MOON FOR YOUR MOTHER.

WELL...THAT'S NICE.

I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING, SUSAN.

YOU DO?

I AM NOT AN INSENSITIVE MAN.

WELL, I-I NEVER SAID YOU WERE.

YOU'RE THINKING I'M NOT DOING THE RIGHT THING BY YOUR MOTHER,

THE HONORABLE THING -- MOVING IN WITH HER AND ALL OF THAT.

ARTHUR, IT'S NOT MY PLACE --

AND YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.

THAT IS NOT THE WAY FOR A GENTLEMAN TO BEHAVE.

MY TWO FAVORITE PEOPLE.

[ CHUCKLES ]

HI, BABY. KAY.

HI, SWEETHEART. [ LAUGHS ]

I AM SO READY FOR LUNCH. LET'S GO.

WAIT. WHAT, DID YOU FORGET SOMETHING?

YES, UH...SUSAN.

YES?

I WOULD LIKE TO ASK YOU FOR THE HONOR

OF YOUR MOTHER'S HAND IN MARRIAGE.

YOU WANT -- OH, MY.

YOU WANT TO ASK ME?

YOU'RE THE ONE SHE LOVES MOST IN THE WORLD.

YES, I WANT YOUR PERMISSION, YOUR APPROVAL.

I'M -- WELL, I'M, UH...

UH, SURE.

YOU HAVE MY BLESSING.

KATHERINE FLOWERS...

WOULD YOU MAKE ME THE PROUDEST, HAPPIEST MAN

IN THE WHOLE WORLD

BY AGREEING TO BECOME MY WIFE?

OH, ART.

OH, ART.

ART.

I THINK SHE'S TRYING TO SAY "YES."

ARTIE.

[ CLEARS THROAT ]

[ CLEARS THROAT ]

[ BIRDS CHIRPING ]

[ HOOFBEATS ]

[ HORSE NEIGHING ]

Josh: WHOA!

DAD, YOU SHOULD THROW AWAY THAT SHIRT.

THE GOLDEN OWLS SHIRT? ARE YOU KIDDING?

THIS WAS THE BEST CONCERT I EVER WENT TO. NO WAY.

THAT WAS IN THE OLDEN DAYS.

YEAH, THE '80s, RIGHT BEFORE DINOSAURS DIED.

WHAT MADE THAT CONCERT SO SPECIAL, ANYWAY?

THAT'S WHERE I MET YOUR MOM.

REALLY?

YEAH.

YEAH, SHE WAS THERE WITH, UH,

A LOT OF HER GIRLFRIENDS FROM COLLEGE.

IT WAS FUN.

WAS SHE JUST AS PRETTY THEN?

OH, YEAH. PRETTIEST GIRL I'D EVER SEEN.

[ HORSE NEIGHS ]

YOU LOOK MORE LIKE HER EVERY DAY.

IT'S A LITTLE BIT SCARY.

[ HOOFBEATS ]

COME ON. HERE SHE COMES.

WHAT A FINE LADY YOU ARE, SNOWFLAKE.

I'M GONNA BRING YOU SOME EXTRA TREATS NEXT WEEK.

MR. SHERMAN.

HI, BEN. HOW ARE YOU?

LITTLE MISS CASSIE.

HI, MR. WIATT.

HOW WAS OLD SNOWFLAKE THIS MORNING?

SHE WAS A LITTLE STIFF TO THE RIGHT AT FIRST,

BUT WE WORKED IT OUT, DIDN'T WE, GIRL?

[ NEIGHS ]

BETTER TAKE HER IN AND LET HER GET RESTED.

SEE YOU NEXT SATURDAY, SNOWFLAKE.

BYE, MR. WIATT.

COME ON, GIRLS. LET'S GO.

She's not here.

Maybe she's having trouble finding the place.

We have to stall.

DAD?

I THINK WE SHOULD GO SOMEWHERE ELSE FOR LUNCH BECAUSE...

BECAUSE I HAVEN'T WORKED UP AN APPETITE YET.

WHAT? YOU'VE BEEN RIDING FOR 2 1/2 HOURS.

COME ON. GET IN THE CAR. I'M STARVING.

DAD, LET'S GO SOMEPLACE DIFFERENT TODAY.

YOU WANT TO BREAK THE SHERMAN FAMILY LUNCH TRADITION?

IT'S GETTING OLD. WE'RE IN A RUT.

I'M SURE THERE ARE PLENTY OF OTHER COOL PLACES WE COULD EAT.

LET'S ASK SOMEONE -- LIKE HER!

WHY WOULD I ASK A PERFECT STRANGER?

A STRANGER IS JUST A FRIEND YOU HAVEN'T MET.

I -- I DON'T NEED --

DAD, JUST ASK. DAD, JUST ASK.

GIRLS -- GO! PLEASE! COME ON!

DAD! GOSH! JUST ASK!

SHE'S COMING OUT! GO!

EXCUSE ME. EXCUSE ME.

EXCUSE ME. UH, EXCUSE ME.

EXCU--

YOU FIRST.

CAN YOU TELL US...

WHERE WE CAN GO AROUND HERE FOR LUNCH, SOMEWHERE CLOSE?

UH, THE BEST PLACE IN THE CITY IS RIGHT DOWN THE HILL --

MISS MOLLY'S GOOD EATS.

OH, THAT'S ODD. WE'VE BEEN COMING UP HERE FOR YEARS.

NEVER HEARD OF THAT BEFORE.

UH, BECAUSE IT'S A SECRET PASSED ON ONLY TO THE CHOSEN FEW.

WELL, I'M HONORED.

[ CHUCKLES ] WHAT DO YOU SAY, GIRLS?

AWESOME. IT SOUNDS PERFECT.

CAN YOU GIVE US DIRECTIONS?

I WAS ACTUALLY HEADED THERE, WHICH IS WHY I STOPPED YOU.

DO YOU HAVE THE TIME? MY WATCH IS...

YEAH, IT'S, UH, 11:45.

OH, DARN. I MISSED MY FRIEND.

I WAS SUPPOSED TO MEET HER.

YOU SHOULD JOIN US FOR LUNCH.

YEAH, ISN'T THAT A GOOD IDEA, DAD?

YEAH.

UH...

[ HORSE NEIGHS ]

SURE. DO YOU WANT TO JOIN US FOR LUNCH?

I'D LOVE TO.

OKAY.

OH, YES. [ BOTH GIGGLE ]

I'M JOSH -- JOSH SHERMAN.

UH, SUSAN -- SUSAN FLOWERS.

HI, SUSAN.

THIS IS MY ELDEST DAUGHTER, JENNIFER, AND CASSIE.

HI. HI.

HI. NICE TO MEET YOU.

SO, SHOULD WE FOLLOW YOU?

YES, FOLLOW ME.

ALL RIGHT. COME ON.

Remember -- when we get there,

we can't leave them alone, even for a moment,

in case she mentions his e-mail.

SO, YOU, UM, YOU COME HERE A LOT, YOU --

OH, ON AND OFF.

MY DAD AND I USED TO COME HERE EVERY SUNDAY MORNING

WHEN I WAS A LITTLE GIRL,

JUST THE TWO OF US.

WE WOULD GET UP REALLY EARLY,

AND THEN WE'D GO FOR HIKES FOR LIKE TWO HOURS

ALONG THE TRAILS IN THE PARK,

AND THEN WE'D COME BACK HERE AND HAVE A HUGE BREAKFAST.

SOUNDS LIKE A REAL TREAT.

YEAH. OUR LITTLE FAMILY TRADITION.

LIKE YOU HAVING LUNCH WITH THE GIR--

HOW WOULD YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT?

EVERY FAMILY HAS TRADITIONS.

IT'S...UNIVERSAL.

YEAH.

BY THE WAY, I LOVE YOUR SHIRT. I MEAN --

THIS OLD THING?

YEAH, I HAVE ONE FROM THEIR CONCERT AT THE FORUM -- IN '88?

YOU KNOW ABOUT THE OWLS?

[ SCOFFS ] IT'S ONLY, LIKE, MY FAVORITE BAND.

WELL, IT'S GOOD TO KNOW THERE'S STILL A FEW OF US OUT THERE.

YEAH, JUST A FEW.

Cassie: AND THEN SNOWFLAKE SUDDENLY STOPPED,

AND I FELL STRAIGHT INTO THE BUSHES.

[ LAUGHS ] I HOPE ALL YOU HURT WAS YOUR PRIDE.

OH, SHE WAS FINE. IWAS THE ONE IN SHOCK.

DAD'S A WORRIER -- NOT IN A BAD WAY.

NOT AT ALL. HE'S A VERY SOLID PERSON.

Susan: YOUR GIRLS CERTAINLY THINK A LOT OF YOU.

THAT'S VERY SWEET.

ANDSURPRISING.

WELL, I GUESS WE BETTER GO.

YEAH. COME ON, GIRLS.

WE SHOULD GET TOGETHER AGAIN.

OH. WHAT A NICE IDEA.

WHAT DO YOUTHINK, DAD?

UH...WELL, YEAH, SURE. [ CHUCKLES ]

YOU SHOULD, LIKE, EXCHANGE NUMBERS OR SOMETHING.

THAT'S OUR HOME NUMBER AND DAD'S CELL.

THANK YOU.

WELL, I TELL YOU WHAT -- IF ELIZABETH EVER QUITS,

I KNOW WHO'S GONNA REPLACE HER.

I ALWAYS CARRY OUR NUMBERS, IN CASE OF EMERGENCY.

DO YOU?

I'M NOT AS EFFICIENT, BUT I COULD PROBABLY WRITE IT DOWN --

[ CELLPHONE DROPS ] OHH! OH, GOODNESS. WE'VE GOT IT.

LET ME JUST GET THAT.

THANK YOU.

YOU HAVE VERY POLITE CHILDREN.

YES, WELL, THIS MORNING HAS BEEN A REVELATION.

HERE YOU GO.

THERE'S MY NUMBER.

ALL RIGHT.

COME ON, GIRLS -- IN THE CAR.

IT WAS LOVELY TO MEET YOU.

YOU TOO.

HEY, MAUREEN, IT'S ME -- SUSAN.

HE WAS NOTHING LIKE I THOUGHT HE'D BE.

Maureen: Are you running for your life?

SERIOUSLY, SUSAN, YOU OKAY?

He's great!

GIVE ME SOME QUICK DETAILS. I'M ON DUTY.

OKAY. HE'S FUNNY, SMART, KIND OF CUTE.

MAYBE THE COMPUTER GOT IT RIGHT.

Okay, don't remind me.

[ CHUCKLES ] I WON'T. TELL ME MORE.

HIS DAUGHTERS WERE QUIRKY AND SWEET.

HE SEEMS LIKE A GOOD DAD.

AND THE WHOLE ACCIDENTAL-MEETING THING

TOTALLY WORKED LIKE A CHARM.

Well, when are you seeing him again?

I DON'T KNOW. SOON, I HOPE.

NO. NO. HOPING ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH.

WE GOT TO COME UP WITH A PLAN OF ACTION.

I'LL BE OVER AT 7:00. ORDER A PIZZA WITH THE WORKS.

Josh: WHO WANTS SALAD?

ME! ME!

"ME"!

[ CHUCKLES ]

I saw her business card when her stuff fell out --

Hearts & Flowers, with pictures of flowers all over it.

She must be a florist. Like her name. Cool.

[ CHUCKLES ]

Josh: HERE YOU GO.

SO, DAD, WHEN ARE YOU GONNA CALL SUSAN FLOWERS?

WHY WOULD I CALL HER?

BECAUSE YOU LIKED HER, AND SHE GAVE YOU HER NUMBER.

THE ONLY REASON SHE GAVE ME HER NUMBER

IS 'CAUSE IT WOULD HAVE BEEN RUDE NOT TO.

YOU GUYS PUT HER ANDME IN A REALLY AWKWARD POSITION.

BUT WE'VE ESTABLISHED THAT YOU LIKED HER, CORRECT?

SHE WAS NICE ENOUGH.

AND SHE'S THE ONLY OTHER HUMAN BEING ON THE PLANET

THAT'S HEARD OF THE GOLDEN OWLS.

[ LAUGHS ] UNH-UNH.

EXACTLY. YOU HAVE THINGS IN COMMON.

YOU HAVE HER NUMBER. YOU SHOULD CALL HER.

I REST MY CASE.

IMPRESSIVE.

BUT COUNSEL LEFT OUT ONE SIGNIFICANT DETAIL.

AND WHAT WOULD THAT BE?

SHE'S PROBABLY GOT A BOYFRIEND.

NO, SHE DOESN'T.

HOW WOULD YOU KNOW THAT?

BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T LOOK LIKE SHE HAS A SIGNIFICANT OTHER.

AND HOW DO PEOPLE WITH SIGNIFICANT OTHERS LOOK?

NOT LIKE HER.

[ GROANS ]

EAT YOUR PIZZA.

SUSAN, FOR SOMEBODY WHO'S GREAT AT GIVING DATING ADVICE,

YOU'RE REALLY LOUSY AT TAKING IT.

NO. I WENT ALONG WITH HIS PLAN TO MEET THE GIRLS HIS WAY.

THE NEXT MOVE IS UP TO HIM.

YOUR KNOWLEDGE OF MEN COULD FIT ON THE HEAD OF A PIN.

OKAY, PLEASE...

ENLIGHTEN ME ABOUT MEN, SISTER MAUREEN.

THEY HAVE TROUBLE MAKING UP THEIR OWN MINDS.

THEY APPRECIATE A LITTLE PUSH IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION.

IT'S ALL IN THE BIBLE.

STARTING WITH ADAM AND EVE.

MAYBE THAT WASN'T EXACTLY IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION,

BUT IT GOT THINGS ROLLING BIG-TIME.

SO, SHOULD I OFFER HIM AN APPLE?

NO, NOT EXACTLY.

JUST...SEND HIM A FRIENDLY E-MAIL

AND TELL HIM HOW MUCH YOU ENJOYED MEETING HIM AND HIS DAUGHTERS

AND SUGGEST A FOLLOW-UP COFFEE.

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

WHAT?

I'M NOT EXPECTING ANYONE.

MAYBE IT'S A DOZEN ROSES.

YOU ARE WAY TOO ROMANTIC FOR YOUR OWN GOOD.

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

I KNEW YOU'D BE HOME.

WHAT --

HELLO, MY DEAR.

HI, KAY. - WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

WELL, YOU DIDN'T ANSWER ANY OF MY E-MAILS,

NOR ANY OF MY OTHER MESSAGES.

SO I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO.

I HEAR CONGRATULATIONS ARE IN ORDER.

OH, SO YOU KNOW?

I'M SURPRISED SUSAN SHARED THE NEWS WITH YOU.

WHY WOULDN'T I?

BECAUSE YOU SEEMED LESS THAN THRILLED.

I GAVE MY PERMISSION, DIDN'T I?

YES, YOU DID. AND THEN YOU LOOKED LIKE YOU'D HAD A ROOT CANAL.

ANYWAY, YOU PROBABLY COULD NOT HAVE SAID NO, COULD YOU?

I-I CAN TELL YOU TWO NEED TO TALK. I SHOULD GO.

NO, NO. PLEASE STAY.

[ SIGHS ]

[ SIGHS ] SUSAN, I WANT YOU TO TRY.

TRY WHAT? TO HAVE AN OPEN MIND.

I AMTRYING.

WELL, THEN TRY HARDER.

[ SIGHS ]

[ SIGHS ]

WHAT DO YOU -- WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?

SUSAN, FROM THE TIME I WAS A LITTLE GIRL,

I DREAMED OF THE PERFECT WEDDING.

AHHH, THE PERFECT GOWN.

I MADE SKETCHES. I CUT PICTURES OUT OF MAGAZINES.

I HAD A WHOLE SCRAPBOOK FULL OF "KAY'S WEDDING GOWNS."

THEN I MET YOUR DAD.

HE WAS BEING SHIPPED OUT TO VIETNAM.

IT WAS A WHIRLWIND ROMANCE.

THERE WASN'T TIME.

YOU KNOW THE STORY.

YEAH, YEAH.

ALL YOU HAD TIME FOR WAS TO TAKE OUT A LICENSE

AND GET DOWN TO CITY HALL.

RIGHT. SO I FORGOT ALL ABOUT "KAY'S GOWNS."

I MEAN, ALL THAT REALLY MATTERED WAS YOUR DAD.

BUT NOW, SUSAN, ALL THESE YEARS LATER,

I GET ANOTHER CHANCE.

AND I WANT YOU TO HELP ME PICK OUT MY GOWN.

YOU WANT ME TO HELP YOU PICK OUT YOUR GOWN?

I'D LOVE TO DO THAT.

YES? MM-HMM.

[ BOTH LAUGH ]

YES!

THANK YOU.

Jennifer: IT'S HOPELESS. HE'S NEVER GONNA CALL HER.

SHE'S A MODERN WOMAN. MAYBE SHE'LL CALL HIM.

NO WAY.

SHE THINKS THAT HE MADE HER

DO ALL THAT STUPID PRETEND STUFF TO MEET US.

IF DAD DOESN'T CALL HER, THEN HE'LL SEEM LIKE A JERK.

AND WHY WOULD SUSAN WANT TO DATE A JERK?

YOUR LANGUAGE IS A LITTLE CRUDE, BUT THE ANALYSIS IS FLAWLESS.

THANKS. I THINK.

HEY, HOW ABOUT WE SET UP A MEETING TOMORROW AT MAY PARK,

MAYBE GET A COFFEE AND GO FOR A STROLL?

AND HOW DO WE GET DAD TO BE THERE, SMARTY?

WE DON'T.

"DEAR JOSH."

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

TOO FORMAL? [ WHIMPERS ]

YEAH.

[ KEYS CLACKING ]

"HI, JOSH.

SO GREAT MEETING YOU AND YOUR DAUGHTERS."

NAH.

"GIRLS."

"MEETING YOU AND THE GIRLS."

[ DING ]

WHAT?

WHO COULD BE E-MAILING ME AT THIS HOUR?

[ KEYS CLACKING ]

OH.

[ WHIMPERS ]

"HI, SUSAN. THANKS FOR COMING TODAY.

"MY GIRLSJUST LOVED YOU.

HOW ABOUT COFFEE TOMORROW AT 2:00 AT MAY PARK?"

HMM.

WELL, WHAT DO YOU KNOW?

[ Cockney accent ] WHAT DO YOU KNOW, BAILEY?

SHOULD I ANSWER?

[ Normal voice ] "HI, JOSH.

"SOUNDS GREAT.

SEE YOU THEN."

[ CHILDREN SHOUTING PLAYFULLY ]

Cassie: SUSAN! WAIT!

OH!

HI, GIRLS.

I-I THOUGHT I WAS MEETING YOUR DAD.

HE DIDN'T COME WITH US.

WE TOLD HIM WE WERE GOING TO A MOVIE.

I'M...NOT FOLLOWING THIS.

WHY DON'T WE ALL SIT DOWN?

OKAY.

WOULD YOU LIKE A DRINK?

AN ICE CREAM? OUR TREAT.

WE POOLED OUR ALLOWANCE.

NO, THANK YOU.

SO, TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON HERE.

WELL, IT'S LIKE THIS --

OUR DAD HAS BEEN ON HIS OWN FOR QUITE A LONG TIME NOW.

SIX YEARS.

I KNOW.

AND I'M SORRY.

THANK YOU.

OUR DAD WAS REALLY SAD FOR A LONG TIME.

AND THE THING IS, WE'VE DECIDED THE TIME HAS COME

FOR HIM TO START DATING AGAIN.

YOUDECIDED?

WE DID QUITE A BIT OF RESEARCH,

AND YOU WERE THE TOP CANDIDATE.

WELL, I'M VERY FLATTERED.

BUT HOW DOES YOUR DAD FIT INTO ALL OF THIS?

THAT NOTE YOU GOT FROM "DELIGHTFUL DAD"

AT ROMANCE-4-YOU.com?

WE WROTE IT.

WELL, MAINLY I WROTE IT.

SO, LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT.

YOU TWO SENT A PROFILE TO ROMANCE-4-YOU.com

PRETENDING TO BE YOUR FATHER AND WAITED FOR RESPONSES.

IS THAT IT?

MM-MM... MORE OR LESS.

YOU HAVE TO LET HIM KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON RIGHT NOW.

NO! NO!

HE LIKED YOU, SUSAN,

BUT IF HE FOUND OUT ABOUT ALL OF THIS,

THAT WOULD BE THE END OF IT.

AND HE'D BE ALONE FOREVER.

WELL, MAYBE YOU SHOULD JUST TRY TO BE PATIENT,

LET YOUR DAD DO WHAT HE NEEDS TO DO IN HIS OWN TIME.

YOU DON'T KNOW HIM. HE'S VERY STUBBORN.

IN A GOOD WAY.

IF YOU COULD CALL HIM SO HE KNOWS YOU'RE FREE

AND JUST GIVE IT A CHANCE,

WE PROMISE TO TELL HIM EVERYTHING.

OKAY, LOOK, GIRLS, HERE'S THE DEAL --

I'LL CALL YOUR FATHER.

I'LL GO ON ONE DATE WITH HIM.

AT THE END OF THAT DATE, YOU HAVE TO TELL HIM THE TRUTH.

ONE DATE?! THAT'S NOT ENOUGH TIME!

EITHER THAT, OR I CALL HIM RIGHT NOW AND TELL HIM.

HOW ABOUT THREEDATES? PLEASE!

[ INHALES SHARPLY ]

TWO. TWO DATES. FINAL OFFER.

YOU DRIVE A HARD BARGAIN, SUSAN.

IT'S A DEAL.

DEAL.

DEAL.

Kay: WE NEED TO HURRY,

'CAUSE ARTIE'S TAKING ME TO VEGAS FOR THE WEEKEND.

OKAY. ARE YOU READY?

AS I'LL EVER BE.

OKAY.

[ GASPS ] WOW!

DO YOU LIKE IT? YES.

HAIR DOWN OR UP? JUST LIKE THAT.

JUST LIKE THAT?

YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL.

OH, I FEELBEAUTIFUL. I DO.

I THINK IT'S BECAUSE I'M SO IN LOVE.

OH, BABY, THAT'S THE WAY I WANT YOU TO FEEL, TOO.

MAYBE THIS NICE WIDOWER IS THE ONE

THAT'S GONNA MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE THAT.

WE'LL SEE.

BABY, DON'T BE LIKE THAT.

LIKE WHAT?

LIKE CAUTIOUS.

SOMETIMES YOU JUST NEED TO TAKE A CHANCE,

JUMP IN WITH BOTH FEET.

LOOK AT ME.

YEAH, YOU'VE CERTAINLY JUMPED IN.

[ BOTH LAUGH ]

Arthur: ANY GORGEOUS BRIDES IN HERE?

ARTIE, YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO SEE ME. IT'S BAD LUCK.

DON'T YOU COME IN TILL I GET OUT.

IS IT SAFE YET?

YEAH, SHE'S IN THE DRESSING ROOM.

HEY, I GOT A RIDDLE FOR YOU.

WHY DO BRIDES ALWAYS WEAR WHITE?

WHY?

MATCHES EVERYTHING ELSE IN THE KITCHEN.

[ BOTH LAUGH ]

HEY, I BET SHE LOOKS LIKE A MILLION BUCKS.

YOU'D WIN THAT BET, ARTHUR.

HEY, CALL ME "ARTIE."

BETTER YET, WHY DON'T YOU CALL ME "POPS"?

ALL MY NEPHEWS AND NIECES CALL ME "POPS."

I THINK I'LL STICK WITH "ARTHUR."

YOU -- YOU KNOW WHAT?

YOU SHOULD SIT, 'CAUSE SH-- SHE MIGHT TAKE A WHILE.

[ SUSAN CLEARS THROAT ]

GOOD MORNING.

I WOULDN'T JUMP TO ANY CONCLUSIONS.

WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

SO, HOW'S THAT ROMANCE-4-YOU EXPOSé COMING?

EH, I'M WORKING ON IT.

[ EXHALES DEEPLY ]

[ INHALES SHARPLY ]

[ EXHALES SLOWLY ]

TAKE A DEEP BREATH. JUMP IN WITH BOTH FEET.

TAKE A DEEP BREATH. JUMP IN WITH BOTH FEET.

[ Ringing ]

[ CELLPHONE RINGING ]

[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]

OKAY.

[ CELLPHONE BEEPS ]

JOSHUA SHERMAN SPEAKING.

HELLO! HELLO, JOSH.

JOSH. JOSH.

IT'S, UM, SUSAN -- SUSAN FLOWERS FROM THE OTHER DAY.

YES. WE MET.

OH, OF COURSE. [ CHUCKLES ]

HI.

HI.

SO, UM, HOW ARE YOU, SUSAN?

GREAT. AND YOU?

GREAT...ALSO.

GOOD.

SO, ANYWAY, UM, I WAS CALLING

TO SEE IF YOU'D LIKE TO GET TOGETHER THIS WEEK.

SURE.

UH, LET'S SEE.

UH, THURSDAY, UH, I HAVE, UM, A BUSINESS DINNER.

FRIDAY'S GOOD. HOW ABOUT FRIDAY?

NO, FRIDAY'S NO GOOD -- I GOT A PARENT/TEACHER MEETING

AT MY YOUNGEST DAUGHTER'S SCHOOL.

C-Cassie, right?

YES.

WOW, YOU GOT A -- YOU GOT A GOOD MEMORY.

WELL, YOUR DAUGHTERS ARE VERY MEMORABLE.

Let's see.

THAT TAKES CARE OF ALL THE WEEKNIGHTS.

HMM. UM, I HAVE AN IDEA --

NOTHING GLAMOROUS, OF COURSE, BUT --

GLAMOROUS? I DON'T NEED GLAMOROUS.

OKAY, IN THAT CASE, HOW ABOUT JOINING ME AND THE GIRLS

FOR DINNER AT OUR HOME ON SUNDAY?

OH! GREAT. UH, THAT SOUNDS GREAT.

UH, CAN I BRING ANYTHING?

[ CHUCKLES ]

BRING YOURSELF AND A GOOD APPETITE.

THE GIRLS ALWAYS COOK ON SUNDAY.

[ CHUCKLES ] OH, HOW CUTE.

OKAY, SO, UH, UH, WHAT'S THE ADDRESS?

THAT'D BE HELPFUL, WOULDN'T IT?

Uh, it's, uh, 8746 Forest Lane.

IT'S A DATE.

I LOOK FORWARD TO SEEING YOU THEN.

ME TOO, JOSH.

BYE, SUSAN.

Bye.

[ CELLPHONE BEEPS ]

[ THUD ] OUCH!

YES! YES! YES! YES! YESSSSS!

[ CHUCKLES ]

Jennifer: YOU WHAT?!

Cassie: DAD, HOW COULD YOU?

WHAT'S WRONG WITH ASKING HER TO COME OVER HERE FOR DINNER?

IT'S NOT IN THE LEAST BIT ROMANTIC.

WELL, IT WAS YOU TWO THAT WANTED ME TO SEE HER AGAIN.

TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT.

WE HAVE TO PLAN A SPECIAL MENU.

SOMETHING FRENCH, WITH CANDLES. YEAH.

IT'S GOING TO BE NO DIFFERENT TO ANY OTHER SUNDAY NIGHT, GIRLS.

WE'LL EAT IN THE DINING ROOM, OF COURSE, USING THE GOOD CHINA.

[ LAUGHS ] WE DON'T HAVE GOOD CHINA. THEN WE'LL BUY SOME.

AND I'LL PUT TOGETHER A CD

OF APPROPRIATE CLASSICAL DINNER MUSIC.

AND WE NEED FLOWERS!

SHE'S A FLORIST. SO HER THING IS FLOWERS.

YEAH.

HOW DO YOU KNOW SHE'S A FLORIST?

I SAW HER BUSINESS CARD. SHE OWNS HER OWN SHOP.

FLORIST. THAT'S NICE.

AND, DAD, YOU SHOULD REALLY GET SOME NEW CLOTHES --

SOMETHING FROM THIS CENTURY.

GUYS, HERE'S A REALITY CHECK, OKAY?

ALL THAT'S GONNA HAPPEN IS A GUEST,

WHO HAPPENS TO BE A WOMAN, IS COMING OVER FOR DINNER.

WE'RE NOT GONNA PRETEND THAT WE'RE ANYTHING WE'RE NOT.

YOU'RE RIGHT.

AND DON'T TELL HER WHAT YOU DO.

DID YOU HEAR A WORD I SAID?

UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES SHOULD YOU DISCUSS YOUR PROFESSION.

[ LAUGHS ] JUST OUT OF CURIOSITY, WHY NOT?

WELL -- WELL, IF I WAS A WOMAN, WHICH I WILL BE SOMEDAY SOON,

AND I HEARD A GUY RAN ROMANCE-4-YOU.com,

I'D THINK HE HAD A LOT OF GIRLFRIENDS.

SO I WOULDN'T WANT TO DATE HIM.

I SEE.

IF IT COMES UP, JUST TELL HER YOU'RE A BUSINESSMAN.

WITH DIVERSE INTERESTS.

YEAH, DIVERSE INTERESTS -- THAT SOUNDS COOL.

TOO BAD I DON'T HAVE TIME BEFORE SUNDAY TO GROW A GOATEE.

IT WOULD SUIT YOU.

Susan: WHAT A LOVELY TABLE.

OH, THIS IS NOTHING.

WE ALWAYS DINE LIKE THIS ON SUNDAYS.

IT'S A SHERMAN FAMILY TRADITION.

USUALLY THE BUTLER SERVES APERITIFS,

BUT HE TOOK THE NIGHT OFF.

WELL, I'M VERY IMPRESSED.

[ CHUCKLES ]

DO YOU LIKE THE FLORAL ARRANGEMENTS?

Jennifer: WE DID IT OURSELVES.

WELL, YOU'RE VERY TALENTED.

IT'S A WORK OF ART.

THERE YOU GO, GIRLS -- THERE'S A COMPLIMENT

COMING FROM SOMEONE WHO KNOWS ALL ABOUT FLOWERS.

THERE'S ME AND SNOWFLAKE.

AND THIS IS THE MOMENT I KNEW I LOVED HORSES.

YOU WERE VERY CUTE -- BOTH YOU ANDSNOWFLAKE.

[ GIGGLES ]

LOOK AT THIS, SUSAN.

THIS IS THE DRESS I WORE LAST YEAR TO THE SADIE HAWKINS DANCE.

[ GASPS ] COOL!

DID YOU ASK A BOY?

NO.

SHE WANTED TO ASK ADAM STEIN. SHUT UP.

HEY, HEY. NO.

IT'S OKAY.

DO YOU LIKE THIS ADAM STEIN?

SORT OF, I GUESS. BUT HE'S KIND OF MEAN TO ME.

OKAY, LADIES, LET ME LET YOU IN ON A LITTLE SECRET.

WHAT?

WELL, SOMETIMES, WHEN A BOY REALLY LIKES YOU,

HE PRETENDS TO BE MEAN TO YOU.

REALLY?

IT'S THE TRUTH.

THAT EXPLAINS A LOT.

SO, SUSAN...

WOULD YOU SAY BOYS PREFER GIRLS WITH OR WITHOUT GLASSES?

GLASSES ARE DEFINITELY A PLUS.

I MEAN, SOMETIMES.

I MEAN, FOR ONE THING THEY MAKE YOUR EYES LOOK BIGGER,

WHICH IS ALWAYS ATTRACTIVE. [ GIGGLES ]

AND THEY LET A BOY KNOW THAT HE'S DEALING WITH A YOUNG WOMAN

WHO'S VERY SECURE WITH WHO SHE IS.

[ CHUCKLES ]

[ CHUCKLES ]

WELL, I FEEL LIKE I NEED TO APOLOGIZE.

FOR WHAT?

WELL, I'M SURE SITTING AROUND WITH A COUPLE OF KIDS ALL NIGHT

WASN'T YOUR IDEA OF A GREAT DATE.

ARE YOU KIDDING?

I CAN'T REMEMBER THE LAST TIME I HAD THIS MUCH FUN.

IT WAS WONDERFUL SEEING THE GIRLS WITH YOU.

I HADN'T REALIZED HOW MUCH THEY NEEDED...

WELL, WHEN THEIR MOM DIED, I SWORE TO MYSELF

THAT I WOULD BE THE BEST DAD ANDMOM

IN THE WORLD TO THEM.

I'M SURE YOU HAVE BEEN.

SOMEHOW I DON'T THINK IT'S ENOUGH NOW, THOUGH, YOU KNOW?

MM.

WELL...I SHOULD GO.

OH, UM...

I DON'T SUPPOSE YOU'RE FREE TOMORROW AFTERNOON.

[ CHUCKLES ] WHAT DID YOU HAVE IN MIND?

WELL, THE KIDS GET OUT EARLY FROM SCHOOL.

CASSIE WANTS TO GO RIDING, NATURALLY,

AND JENNIFER WANTS TO TAG ALONG.

SHE'S BREAKING IN A NEW PAIR OF JEANS.

GOOD REASON FOR A RIDE.

I GOT HER FIGURED OUT.

[ LAUGHS ] WELL...

ANYWAY, I'M GONNA BE ALONE IN THE PARK FOR A FEW HOURS,

AND I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT LIKE TO COME FOR A HIKE.

I'D LOVE TO.

OKAY. TERRIFIC.

MEET YOU AT THE TUMBLEWEED STABLES AT 3:00?

SOUNDS LIKE A PLAN.

GOOD NIGHT, JOSH.

GOOD NIGHT, SUSAN.

OH. HERE, GOT IT.

[ CAR DOOR OPENS ] [ CHUCKLES ]

[ CAR DOOR CLOSES ]

[ ELEVATOR BELL DINGS ]

[ CLEARS THROAT ]

SUSAN? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

[ INDISTINCT SPEAKING OVER P.A. ]

I'M SORRY. I COULDN'T WAIT FOR YOU TO GET OFF DUTY.

MY WORST FEAR HAS BEEN REALIZED.

WHAT HAPPENED? THE ROMANCE-4-YOU.com COMPUTER WORKED.

I JUST HAD THE BEST DATE OF MY LIFE.

WELL, DON'T WORRY. IT WASN'T ENTIRELY THE COMPUTER.

MY PRAYERS HELPED.

OH, I CAN'T WAIT FOR YOU TO MEET HIM.

HIS NAME'S JOSH.

I'VE NEVER SEEN YOU LIKE THIS.

[ SIGHS ] NEVER FELT LIKE THIS.

MAYBE YOUR NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION IS GONNA COME TRUE

AND YOU'LL BE KISSING YOUR PERFECT MATCH

AT MIDNIGHT ON NEW YEAR'S EVE.

OKAY. DON'T GET CARRIED AWAY.

WELL, IT DOESN'T HURT TO PUT IT OUT THERE.

SO, WHAT DOES THIS JOSH OF YOURS DO FOR A LIVING?

I DON'T KNOW. WE DIDN'T DISCUSS THAT.

DIVERSE INTERESTS -- I DON'T KNOW.

I'LL CHECK HIM OUT ONLINE.

UH... WHAT?

OH, HONEY, I'M SORRY. I GOT TO GO BACK TO WORK.

WHATEVER IT IS, I'M SURE IT'S PERFECT.

OKAY. BYE.

Call me!

"SHERMAN" -- MAYBE "JOSHUA SHERMAN."

BABY?

BABY! [ LAUGHS ]

WE'RE BACK FROM VEGAS!

IN THE FLESH!

WELL! YOU TWO LOOK LIKE YOU HIT THE JACKPOT

[ CHUCKLES ]

WE GOT MARRIED. WE GOT HITCHED!

YOU WHAT?! WE GOT MARRIED.

WE DID. UH, NOT THAT WE -- WE PLANNED IT OR ANYTHING.

WE SAW THIS COUPLE WALK OUT OF THE ELVIS CHAPEL,

AND SUDDENLY IT HIT US JUST LIKE THAT.

I SAID, "ARTIE, WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR?

LET'S GO FOR IT RIGHT NOW."

SURE!

AND YOUR PLANS?

W-WHAT ABOUT "KAY'S GOWN"?

KAY'S GOW-- YOU KNOW WHAT?

ON YOUR BIG DAY, SHOULD YOU WANT IT, YOU CAN HAVE KAY'S GOWN.

BUT THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE YOUR DREAM WEDDING.

SWEETHEART, IT'S NOT ABOUT A GOWN.

MY DREAM IS REALLY ABOUT FINDING SOMEONE

THAT I HAVE A CHANCE AT HAPPINESS WITH.

REALLY. OH.

CONGRATULATIONS.

OH, BUT I DON'T WANT YOU TO FEEL LEFT OUT.

OH, NO, WE'RE GONNA HAVE A DIVINE RECEPTION NEXT MONTH --

PARTY OF THE YEAR.

HEY, COME ON. HOW ABOUT A HUG FOR OLD ARTIE?

OH.

[ CHUCKLES ]

CONGRATULATIONS, ARTHUR. WELCOME TO THE FAMILY.

I'M GONNA MAKE YOU PROUD.

COME ON. LET'S CELEBRATE.

COME ON, BABY.

BUT I-I'VE GOT A --

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

Josh: HERE WE GO! SMILE!

[ CAMERA CLICKS ]

HA! LIKE A POSTCARD.

[ CHUCKLES ]

LOOKS LIKE YOUR DATE'S HERE, DAD.

[ VEHICLE APPROACHES ]

WE'RE GONNA HAVE A LONGRIDE, SO ENJOY YOURSELVES.

YEAH. IF YOU'RE LATE GETTING BACK, WE'LL JUST WAIT HERE.

AS LONG AS IT TAKES. NO PROBLEM.

HI, GIRLS. HEY.

HI.

GOING FOR A RIDE?

YEAH.

OKAY, HAVE A GOOD ONE.

BYE, DAD. BYE, SUSAN.

BYE.

BYE. READY?

YES, SIR. OKAY.

[ SIGHS ]

THIS IS SO UNBELIEVABLY BEAUTIFUL.

YEAH.

IT'S A REALLY SPECIAL PLACE.

ARE YOU HUNGRY?

I MADE, UM, SANDWICHES.

YOU DID?

MM-HMM.

I HAVE TURKEY...

AND TURKEY.

OH, I'LL TAKE, UM, TURKEY.

OKAY. EITHER ONE.

SO, DO YOU COME HIKING HERE WITH THE GIRLS A LOT?

NO, NOT REALLY.

I USED TO COME HERE A LOT.

WELL, I'M HAPPY YOU BROUGHT ME.

I'M HAPPY YOU CAME.

ME TOO.

REALLY?

Jennifer: WELL, THEY'RE LATE GETTING BACK. THAT'S A GOOD SIGN.

Cassie: AN EXCELLENT SIGN.

YOU THINK SHE'S REALLY GONNA MAKE US TELL HIM EVERYTHING TODAY?

SHE'S A DECISIVE WOMAN,

AND THE DEAL WAS, WE TELL HIM AFTER TWO DATES.

THIS IS THE SECOND DATE.

LET'S HOPE IT WENT REALLY WELL.

HERE THEY ARE.

HI! HI.

HI!

HOW WAS YOUR HIKE?

IT WAS GREAT. NICE.

SO, YOU'RE GONNA BE DOING IT AGAIN?

SEEING HOW YOU BOTH SEEM TO HAVE ENJOYED IT SO MUCH?

THESE GUYS ARE BETTER THAN A DATING SERVICE.

[ CHUCKLES ]

WE HAD A GREAT TIME.

AND, YES, WE HAVE PLANS TO SEE EACH OTHER AGAIN.

EXCELLENT! AWESOME!

AND I THINK THERE'S SOMETHING YOU WANTED TO SAY TO YOUR DAD.

THERE IS?

OH, MR. SHERMAN, CAN I HAVE A WORD WITH YOU?

SURE, BEN. WHAT'S UP?

UH, SNOWFLAKE.

WHAT ABOUT HER?

UH, SHE'S GETTING ON IN AGE AND GETS TIRED REAL EASY.

WE'VE DECIDED TO RETIRE HER.

NO!

YOU CAN'T DO THAT! CASSIE'S BEEN RIDING HER FOREVER!

BELIEVE ME, MR. SHERMAN, THIS HAS NOT BEEN AN EASY DECISION.

WE JUST CAN'T AFFORD TO KEEP HER.

DO SOMETHING!

I'M SORRY.

DAD. THEY'LL MAKE GLUE OUT OF HER.

I READ IT IN A BOOK.

HONEY...

[ CRYING ]

CASSIE?

[ Crying ] I'M SORRY, SNOWFLAKE.

I'M SO SORRY.

I'M SORRY, GIRL.

I LOVE YOU.

[ SNIFFLES ]

Susan: MORNING. COULD YOU GET ME THE FILE ON MS. MOSKOVITZ?

MS. MOSKOVITZ IS NO LONGER WITH US.

WHAT?! THAT SWEET OLD LADY DIED?

WORSE. SHE SIGNED UP WITH ROMANCE-4-YOU.com.

DO WE HAVE TO LOSE ALL OUR CLIENTS

BEFORE YOU FINALLY WRITE THAT EXPOSé?

I'M SORRY.

I'VE BEEN A LITTLE... DISTRACTED.

IT'S TIME TO FOCUS, BOSS.

LOOK -- OUR FRIENDS AT ROMANCE-4-YOU.com

HAVE THESE NEW GLOSSY BROCHURES OUT.

USE THAT FOR INSPIRATION.

I'LL TAKE CARE OF IT.

[ SIGHS ]

[ GROANS LIGHTLY ]

[ DIALING ]

[ Ringing ]

Josh: HI.

HI. DID I CATCH YOU AT WORK?

NOPE, JUST TOOK A LONG LUNCH TO TAKE CARE OF SOME BUSINESS.

THE SHERMANS ARE NOW PROUD OWNERS OF A HORSE.

YOU BOUGHT SNOWFLAKE?

HOW COULD I RESIST? YOU SAW CASSIE'S FACE.

[ CHUCKLES ] DO THE GIRLS KNOW?

No, no. I thought I would tell them tonight at dinner.

[ HORSE NEIGHS ]

COME OVER.

OH, IT'S A -- IT'S A FAMILY OCCASION.

AND I WOULD LIKE FOR YOU TO BE A PART OF IT.

I'D LOVE TO, YEAH.

Carla: FOCUS, BOSS!

I'M FOCUSED. DON'T WORRY.

I'M WORKING. I KIND OF HAVE TO GET BACK.

I WAS JUST --

[ CLEARS THROAT ]

ANYWAY, UM...

JOSH?

UM, I WANTED TO ASK YOU -- I FORGOT TO ASK YOU --

WHAT -- WHAT LINE OF WORK DID YOU SAY YOU WERE IN?

I-I'M IN BUSINESS.

YOU KNOW...

DIVERSE INTERESTS.

YEAH.

DIVERSE INTERESTS.

RIGHT.

[ CLEARS THROAT ]

UM, I'LL SEE YOU AT 7:00.

OKAY. BYE.

[ CELLPHONE BEEPS ]

OHH.

THE ROAD TO LOVE IS LITTERED WITH DASHED HOPES

"AND TRAMPLED EXPECTATIONS.

IF YOU'RE NOT READY TO BE HURT,BETTER TO STAY OUT OTHE GAME."

[ DOOR OPENS ]

I KNEW IT WAS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE.

IS THIS YOURJOSH SHERMAN?

NO. THERE MUST BE SOME EXPLANATION.

THERE SURE IS.

JOSH SHERMAN, C.E.O. OF ROMANCE-4-YOU.com, TRICKED ME.

HE LIED TO ME.

AND WORST OF ALL, HE GOT HIS DAUGHTERS INVOLVED.

WHY?

BUSINESS. HE WANTED TO GET RID OF THE COMPETITION.

IT'S TOTALLY UNETHICAL.

BUT YOU WERE DOING THE SAME THING.

THAT'S DIFFERENT. I DIDN'T KNOW WHO HE WAS.

MAYBE HE DIDN'T KNOW THAT Y-YOU'RE YOU.

MAYBE IT WAS A COINCIDENCE.

ARE YOU OKAY?

[ SIGHS ] YEAH.

I MEAN, AT FIRST, I FELT LIKE A TRUCK FELL ON ME.

I COULD BARELY BREATHE.

I CAN UNDERSTAND THAT.

OH, I GOT TO GO.

I'M GONNA BE LATE TO JOSH'S FOR DINNER.

YOU'RE GOING TO JOSH'S FOR DINNER?

OF COURSE. HE INVITED ME. AND?

AND HE DOESN'T KNOW I'M ONTO HIM.

I'M GONNA PLAY THIS GAME TO THE BITTER END.

I'VE GOT AN EXPOSé TO WRITE. SUSAN, DON'T.

TONIGHT I'M GOING TO GATHER ALL THE AMMUNITION I NEED

TO BLOW ROMANCE-4-YOU.com RIGHT OUT OF THE WATER.

REMEMBER TO SAVE ROOM FOR A VERY SPECIAL DESSERT.

I'M NOT HUNGRY, DAD.

OH, YOU'LL LIKE THIS ONE. I GUARANTEE IT.

HERE, GIRLS, LET ME TAKE YOUR PLATES.

HERE IT IS!

VOILà!

DOES THIS MEAN -- DID YOU BUY HER?

THAT'S RIGHT. SNOWFLAKE IS THE NEWEST MEMBER OF OUR FAMILY.

[ BOTH LAUGH ]

WE HAVE TO GET A NEW BLANKET AND A SADDLE.

YES.

IT COST ME A FORTUNE IN BOARDING FEES.

OH, I'M SURE YOU CAN FIND THE MONEY SOMEWHERE,

AMONG ALL YOUR DIVERSE INTERESTS.

[ CHUCKLES ]

WE CAN KEEP HER HERE.

SOMEHOW I DON'T THINK THE NEIGHBORS ARE GONNA APPRECIATE

A HORSE IN THE GARAGE.

AND I NEED THE SPACE FOR MY CAR IN FOUR YEARS.

AS LONG AS I CAN RIDE HER ANYTIME I WANT.

WELL, THAT'S THE IDEA.

HERE YOU GO.

TAKE YOUR CAKE AND GO WATCH SOME TV.

THANKS, DADDY. ALL RIGHT.

AH. GRACIAS.

MM-HMM.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT US. Jennifer: ENJOY YOURSELVES.

OKAY.

OH, MAN. WELL, THAT WENT WELL.

YES, IT DID.

SO, DO YOU NEED SOME HELP CLEANING UP?

NOPE. FINE.

ARE YOU SURE?

YEAH. I'M RESPONSIBLE.

IS, UM... IS EVERYTHING OKAY?

YOU SEEM A LITTLE --

OH, SURE. I'M TIRED.

OH. LONG WEEK.

I'M SURE YOU HAVE SOME INSIGHT ON HOW DIFFICULT MY WORK CAN BE.

ACTUALLY, I HAVE NO IDEA ABOUT YOUR LINE OF WORK.

I THINK YOU DO.

IS IT -- IS IT A BUSY TIME RIGHT NOW?

[ LAUGHS ] WELL, NOT AS BUSY AS IT COULDBE.

COMPETITION, YOU KNOW.

YEAH. OH, YEAH. [ CHUCKLES ]

WELL, YOU HAVE VALENTINE'S DAY COMING UP. THAT'LL BE GOOD.

SURE, A LOT OF PEOPLE OUT THERE LOOKING FOR LOVE THEN.

AND THAT'S WHEN BUSINESS IS BEST, RIGHT?

YEAH.

A LOT OF LONELY PEOPLE.

THEY CAN BE GOOD FOR BUSINESS.

GREATFOR BUSINESS.

YEAH.

OH, LET'S NOT TALK ABOUT WORK.

YOU KNOW WHAT, JOSH? I GOT TO GO.

I HAVE TO BE AT WORK EARLY.

WELL, LET ME WALK YOU OUT.

SAY GOODBYE TO THE GIRLS.

WELL, YOU'LL BE SEEING THEM AGAIN SOMETIME SOON.

[ ENGINE TURNS OVER ]

[ PARKING BRAKE CLICKS ]

[ SIGHS ]

BAD DREAM?

NO. I COULDN'T SLEEP.

I KEPT THINKING ABOUT TONIGHT.

IT'S PLEASANT HAVING HER AROUND HERE.

YEAH. SHE MAKES DAD HAPPY.

[ SIGHS ]

DO YOU THINK MOM MINDS?

NO. I THINK SHE'S GLAD.

SHE WANTS FOR DAD TO BE HAPPY, TOO.

JEN?

YEAH?

YOU KNOW HOW I DON'T HAVE ANY MEMORIES OF MOM?

MM-HMM.

WELL...

THERE ISONE I THINK ABOUT SOMETIMES.

IT'S ALMOST LIKE A DREAM.

WHAT IS IT?

[ SIGHS ]

I REMEMBER I WAS IN MY CRIB...

LISTENING TO THIS BEAUTIFUL VOICE TALKING TO ME.

YEAH.

MOM HAD A REAL PRETTY VOICE.

IT MADE YOU FEEL ALL WARM AND SAFE,

LIKE NOTHING COULD EVER HURT YOU.

SHE WAS TELLING ME A STORY, SOMETHING ABOUT A PRINCESS.

WHEN IT WAS OVER, SHE LEANED DOWN TO KISS ME GOOD NIGHT,

AND HER HAIR TOUCHED MY FACE.

IT WAS SOFT LIKE SILK.

THAT'S A NICE MEMORY.

[ SIGHS ]

GOOD NIGHT.

GOOD NIGHT. I LOVE YOU.

I LOVE YOU, TOO.

Susan: "SUSAN'S HEART HINTS."

"TODAY'S HINT IS ABOUT TRYING TO MAKE A MATCH

"THE ROMANCE-4-YOU.com WAY.

"MANY SINGLES, DESPERATE TO CONNECT,

"HAVE TURNED TO THIS NEW COMPANY

"HOPING THAT A COMPUTER WILL FIND A WAY

"TO BRIGHTEN THEIR SOLITARY LIVES.

"MY SECRET RESEARCH INTO THE WORKINGS OF ROMANCE-4-YOU.com

"HAS UNCOVERED EVIDENCE TO SHOW THAT THEY ARE HOPING IN VAIN.

"THE THREE UNSUITABLE MATCHES SET UP FOR ME

"BY ROMANCE-4-YOU.com --

"ONE WITH A COLLEGE STUDENT,

"THE OTHER WITH A FOOT FETISHIST,

"AND THE THIRD WITH A MAN

"WHO WAS NOT AT ALL WHAT HE CLAIMED TO BE --

"PROVIDE AMPLE PROOF

THAT MACHINES CANNOT REPLACE THE PERSONAL TOUCH."

MARTIN, LOOK UP A PROFILE OF A CLIENT

BY THE NAME OF SUSAN FLOWERS.

PRINT OUT THE INFORMATION AND BRING IT TO ME IMMEDIATELY.

"THE SAD TRUTH

"IS THAT COMPANIES LIKE ROMANCE-4-YOU.com

"ARE ALL ABOUT BUSINESS.

"THE BEST WAY TO SET UP A MATCH

"IS STILL THE OLD-FASHIONED WAY --

"WORKING WITH PEOPLE WHO CARE, THE WAY WE'VE BEEN DOING

"WITH UNRIVALED SUCCESS FOR A DECADE

AT HEARTS & FLOWERS."

THANKS, ELIZABETH.

BUT SHOULDN'T I --

NO, IT'S -- PLEASE.

[ SCOFFS ]

FOOL.

YES!

[ LAUGHS ]

[ DOOR CLOSES ]

I KNOW -- I'M LATE.

I TAKE BACK EVERY TERRIBLE THING I EVER SAID ABOUT YOU.

THANKS.

THE PHONE'S BEEN RINGING OFF THE HOOK.

I'M INTO NEXT MONTH ON APPOINTMENTS.

COULD YOU MAKE ME A CUP OF COFFEE?

ANYTHING YOU WANT.

BLACK.

[ TELEPHONE RINGS ]

HEARTS & FLOWERS. MAY I HELP YOU?

Josh: "DEAR SUSAN...

"I'VE BEEN WRITING AND REWRITING THIS ALL DAY LONG.

IT FINALLY COMES DOWN TO ONE WORD."

"I'M DISAPPOINTED.

DISAPPOINTED IN YOU."

"DISAPPOINTED IN YOU..."

"DISAPPOINTED THAT THE FUTURE I DARED TO DREAM ABOUT

"FOR THE FIRST TIME IN SIX YEARS WAS JUST THAT.

A DREAM."

[ CASSIE LAUGHS ]

I CAN'T BELIEVE WE HAVE SNOWFLAKE.

YOU ARE SO LUCKY.

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.

I KNOW.

NOW I NEED TO GET A HORSE.

I KNOW. [ BOTH LAUGH ]

NOW THAT SNOWFLAKE'S OURS, I CAN VISIT HER ANYTIME, RIGHT?

RIGHT.

JEN AND I CAN EVEN RIDE OUR BIKES OVER ON A WEEKDAY.

IT'S TOO FAR.

CAN WE HAVE A PICNIC IN THE PARK THIS WEEKEND?

YEAH, SUSAN CAN BRING HER DOG.

SHE SAYS SHE HAS A VERY INTELLIGENT DOG -- BAILEY.

I'VE ALWAYS WANTED A DOG.

MAYBE WE'LL HAVE ONE SOON.

SO, DAD, WHY DON'T YOU CALL SUSAN?

YEAH, SEE IF SUNDAY'S GOOD FOR HER.

GUYS, I DON'T THINK THAT WE'RE GONNA BE SEEING MUCH OF SUSAN AGAIN.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

THINGS DIDN'T WORK OUT.

BUT SHE'S PERFECT FOR YOU.

WHAT HAPPENED?

IT'S -- IT'S A GROWN-UP THING.

DAD, COME ON. WE HAVE A RIGHT TO KNOW.

[ Voice breaking ] I THOUGHT SHE WAS GONNA BE OUR NEW MOM.

WHAT WOULD GIVE YOU AN IDEA LIKE THAT?

DINNER'S OVER.

TAKE YOUR PLATES TO THE KITCHEN, BRUSH YOUR TEETH, GO TO BED.

Susan: IT HURTS SO MUCH.

OH, BABY.

MAYBE YOU SHOULD CALL HIM.

THERE'S NOTHING TO SAY.

OH, THERE'S ALWAYS SOMETHING TO SAY.

NOT THIS TIME.

NO?

OKAY, THEN YOU TELL ME WHAT I CAN DO

TO MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER.

JUST HOLD ME.

SWEETHEART, WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP?

MADE SOME TEA FOR MY GIRLS -- WITH COOKIES.

COOKIES ARE IMPORTANT.

SO NICE. THANK YOU.

YOU GO ON UP TO BED. I'LL BE UP SHORTLY.

TAKE AS LONG AS YOU WANT.

THANK YOU.

NIGHT.

Arthur: GOOD NIGHT.

GOOD NIGHT, POPS.

YOU KNOW WHAT, MOM?

HMM?

I DON'T THINK I COULD HAVE FOUND A BETTER MATCH FOR YOU

IN A MILLION YEARS.

CASSIE?

I HAD A BAD DREAM.

CAN I COME IN?

YOU ASLEEP?

[ SIGHS ]

[ HORSE GRUNTS ]

Officer: SIR, DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHERE YOUR DAUGHTER MIGHT HAVE HEADED?

I DON'T KNOW.

I DON'T KNOW WHERE SHE WOULD GO TO BY HERSELF IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT.

SHE'S NEVER DONE ANYTHING LIKE THIS BEFORE.

[ SNOWFLAKE NEIGHING ]

[ CRYING ]

WELL, DOES SHE HAVE ANY FRIENDS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD,

OR MAYBE A CLASSMATE?

MELISSA'S DOWN THE ROAD.

NO.

NO, DAD, I KNOW WHERE SHE IS.

[ THUD ]

[ SNOWFLAKE WHINNIES ]

[ SIREN WAILING ]

Man: COMING THROUGH!

MAKE SOME ROOM HERE! MAKE SOME ROOM! LET'S GO!

[ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ]

[ INDISTINCT SPEAKING ON TELEVISION]

[ CELLPHONE RINGING ]

[ CELLPHONE BEEPS ]

HELLO?

SUSAN, I'M SORRY TO WAKE YOU UP,

BUT THERE'S A LITTLE GIRL WHO'S BEEN BROUGHT IN

WITH A HEAD INJURY.

HER NAME IS CASSANDRA SHERMAN.

Her dad is Josh Sherman.

OH, OKAY. I'LL -- I'LL BE RIGHT THERE.

[ CELLPHONE BEEPS ]

[ MONITOR BEEPING ]

[ ELEVATOR BELL DINGS ]

HOW IS SHE?

SHE'S STABLE, BUT SHE'S STILL UNCONSCIOUS.

SHE NEEDS TO BE MONITORED CLOSELY.

WHAT HAPPENED?

SHE DECIDED TO GO FOR A HORSEBACK RIDE

IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT.

[ SIGHS ] SNOWFLAKE?

HER DAD AND HER SISTER ARE BACK WITH HER.

[ BEEPING CONTINUES ]

[ SIGHS ]

SUSAN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

I-I CAME TO SEE CASSIE.

SUSAN. YOU CAME.

ARE YOU OKAY? YEAH.

I THINK SHE WENT TO SEE SNOWFLAKE BECAUSE SHE WAS SAD ABOUT YOU GUYS.

THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED, ISN'T IT?

YOU TOLD DAD WHAT WE DID, AND HE GOT MAD, RIGHT?

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

[ MOANS LIGHTLY ]

CASSIE?

CASS? CASS? CASSIE?

CASS? CASSIE?

I'LL NEVER BE MEAN TO YOU AGAIN. I PROMISE.

CASSIE?

COME BACK TO US, SWEETHEART.

[ BEEPING CONTINUES ]

HERE YOU ARE.

[ INHALES SHARPLY ]

YOUR PRAYERS MUST HAVE BEEN HEARD.

CASSIE JUST REGAINED CONSCIOUSNESS.

SHE'S GONNA BE OKAY?

WELL, SHE'S GONNA HAVE A NASTY BUMP ON HER HEAD FOR A COUPLE WEEKS,

BUT SHE'S GONNA BE GOOD AS NEW.

[ SIGHS ]

THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU.

SUSAN.

YEAH?

I WAS WATCHING JOSH WITH HIS CHILDREN.

THAT'S A GOOD MAN.

I KNOW.

BUT, YOU KNOW, IT'S...

IT'S OVER.

SUSAN...

YOU CAN FOOL A LOT OF PEOPLE -- MAYBE EVEN YOURSELF --

BUT I'VE KNOWN YOU TOO LONG FOR YOU TO BE ABLE TO FOOL ME.

HONEY, YOU'RE NOT HAPPY.

THIS IS YOUR CHANCE FOR THE FAMILY YOU SHOULD HAVE.

THIS IS LOVE.

OHH...

YOU, YOU, YOU.

HOW DO YOU KNOW?

[ CHUCKLES ]

I KNOW.

Cassie: AND YOU'RE POSITIVE THAT SNOWFLAKE'S OKAY?

Josh: WELL, SHE'S IN BETTER SHAPE THAN I AM.

HOSPITAL FOOD IS AWESOME.

YOU SIMPLY HAVE TO FIND A NEW WORD.

SHE'S BACK TO NORMAL.

[ CHUCKLES ] YEAH, SHE'S BACK TO NORMAL.

I NEED YOU TO CLEAR SOMETHING UP FOR ME.

YOU SAID SOMETHING TO SUSAN THAT I CAN'T FIGURE OUT.

WELCOME TO THE CLUB.

YOU SAID TO SUSAN THAT I MUST BE MAD

ABOUT SOMETHING THAT SHE TOLD ME THAT YOU DID.

WHAT?

SUSAN DIDN'T TELL YOU ANYTHING ABOUT US?

ABOUT THE PROFILES AND THE E-MAILS?

NO, SHE DIDN'T TELL ME ABOUT PROFILES OR E-MAILS. WHAT?

[ SIGHS ]

DAD, YOU BETTER SIT DOWN.

OR MAYBE LIE DOWN ON THE BED.

WHAT HAVE YOU TWO DONE? IT WAS CASSIE'S IDEA.

NO, SHE'S THE ONE WHO PUT THE THOUGHT IN MY HEAD.

NO, I DIDN'T! YES, YOU --

ENOUGH.

ONE AT A TIME -- YOU FIRST.

WELL...

WE DECIDED THAT YOU SHOULD DATE AGAIN.

WE NEED A WOMAN AROUND THE HOUSE.

IT'S GETTING LONELY.

SO WE WENT TO ROMANCE-4-YOU.com AND MADE A PROFILE.

THAT'S HOW WE MET SUSAN.

OH, GIRLS.

[ CHUCKLES ]

BUT SHE'S REALLY NICE, RIGHT?

AND PRETTY.

[ Chuckling ] YEAH.

[ CHUCKLING ]

[ KEYS CLACKING ]

Susan: "SUSAN'S HEART HINTS."

"FINDING REAL LOVE IS HARD THESE DAYS --

MAYBE ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE."

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

HI.

HI.

"SUSAN'S HEART HINTS."

"FINDING REAL LOVE IS HARD THESE DAYS --

"MAYBE ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE.

"BUT WATCHING MY MOTHER'S UNABASHED JOY

"WHEN SHE HUGS THE MAN

"WHO IS TOTALLY WRONG, YET TOTALLY RIGHT FOR HER

"OR MY BEST FRIEND'S EYES LIGHT UP

"WHEN SHE SPEAKS ABOUT HER LOVE FOR GOD

"OR THE FACE OF THE MAN I LOVE TRANSFORMED

"WHEN HE LOOKS AT HIS TWO DAUGHTERS,

"I REALIZE THAT IT'S EVERYWHERE AROUND US.

"SO, HERE'S MY LAST HINT FOR THIS YEAR --

"BE READY FOR ANYTHING IN LIFE.

"DON'T CLOSE THE DOOR WITHOUT SEEING WHO'S ON THE OTHER SIDE.

"BECAUSE LOVE CAN APPEAR WHERE YOU LEAST EXPECT IT.

"AND IF YOU CAN,

"TRY TO MARRY THE MAN OF YOUR DREAMS ON NEW YEAR'S EVE.

THAT WAY, HE'LL NEVER FORGET YOUR ANNIVERSARY."

"AND THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT WE DID --

"ONE YEAR LATER, ON NEW YEAR'S EVE,

WHEN I FINALLY GOT MY KISS AT MIDNIGHT."

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

[ SIGHS ]

[ BOTH LAUGH ]

[ BARKS ]

--Captions by VIT-- www.vitac.com

CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY LARRY LEVINSON PRODUCTIONS