Original subtitles

Sky traffic. Good morning, Chicago. It's 6 .30 and we're rolling into the

morning commute with news and traffic on the half hour.

First on the inter... Hey, Kat, how you doing?

Come on in and have some breakfast.

Hungry?

And don't worry about us. Get anchovies.

Breakfast of champions, huh?

What, don't you like pineapple?

There.

The entire neighborhood in Hickory, Indiana, was devastated by a tornado at

approximately 6 .35 Wednesday morning.

You know, we were just thinking about you. It's so odd that you called!

Hold on, your dad's on the front porch.

Mommy! Mom, how's the weather there?

Well, it's a little breezy, but other than that, it's... Yeah, Mom, that's not

breeze, that's a tornado.

Oh, my God, do I open the windows? Do I close the windows?

No, no, no, what you do is you get Dad and you go down in the basement, hear

Mommy!

Mom.

I get the most.

The debt.

I'm out there saving people's lives.

That's what I do, you see.

I haven't heard from him. He should have gone straight down there. Well, look,

you have to take care of the paper.

I'm sure everything's going to be fine.

Bernie and Lois are very resourceful. Half of Hickory, Indiana, is now in

I don't think resourceful's going to do the job.

Well, the paper didn't mention any fatalities.

I know, but I'm going to drive down there anyway.

I understand.

Oh, and the paper. Don't worry about it. Everything's going to be fine. Just

make sure you call me.

Oh, yeah, yeah, I'll call.

Whoa, it's a sports!

Gary!

You're all right.

We were worried about you. Well, we would have been here sooner, but Mrs.

Taylor's laundry room was black in a garage.

Listen, I'll be downstairs if you need me, Gary. Yeah, yeah, thanks.

See you. Bye -bye.

Gary, it was awful. I mean, the whole block.

gone the harrises the tailors what about our house not a scratch you're kidding

well the tomato plants went up they're gone but you know but it made us realize

that home is more than four walls and an address home is where your family is

absolutely and what's important is we're here that's right and we're staying you

what we're moving to chicago you want us

here don't you gary

Oh, yeah, of course, right.

And we won't impose. I mean, the gray ghost is very comfortable.

Yeah, we can stay in it for now anyway, but that building down on the corner,

vacancies, you think?

Can you excuse me for a minute, because I forgot to ask Marissa something.

Oh, yeah.

We're not talking about a week or a month, are we?

They're talking about forever.

Well, they asked you if it was okay, and you said yes.

Well, what could I say? I couldn't say no. They're my parents. So?

Well, I was being polite.

Polite? Gary, they came here to be with you, and you can't even invite them to

sleep upstairs.

Well, I've only got one room.

They're sleeping on the street. They've got a trailer.

Oh, well, what more could parents hope for? It's a perfectly comfortable

trailer. It's a fine trailer.

Can we plug in?

Electric blanket. The generator's not working. It's going to get pretty chilly

out there.

Oh, sure, Mom. I'll get that for you.

Such a good son.

What am I going to do?

Don't forget the hamburgers, hon.

Can we borrow a couple of hamburger patties? Your dad's going to fire up the

hibachi. Oh, well, yeah, I'll have the cook cook some up. Oh, no, no, no. Don't

go to any trouble. No, no, no. It's no trouble. As a matter of fact, I'll even

bring them out to you.

That woman gave birth to you, Gary.

I love my parents.

As long as they're interstate.

Well, it's just that whenever my parents are around, things get very

complicated. It's called having a family, Gary.

And I like my family. I love my family. But my fam... Mom?

Excuse me, son.

What can I do for you?

Your father says there's a short. But if you'll loan us a couple of blankets,

I'm sure we'll manage.

Down in the basement there.

Hon? Didn't we park right down there?

My parents parked it.

They're from out of town. You know how parents are, right?

I love my parents.

No, I'm not saying you don't love your parents. I'm just saying that they

it. All I did was sleep in it. Look, I don't care if Santa Claus parked it and

Easter Bunny slept in it. If you want to go, pay the fine.

$130 for the truck, $130 for the trailer, $50 for the loading zone.

I don't have my wallet.

Not my problem, pal. Okay, I'm back.

$127 .33.

Wrong answer.

$105 for the tow, $60 for the ticket.

I gotta have my car.

Bye -bye.

I'll pay the money, but I can't get it without my car. I need my car!

Then go find another $38.

My life sucks!

Sorry, 38 bucks.

I came as quick as I could.

Excuse me.

I am so sorry. I have not had to bail him out since he was 12 years old and he

set off the fire alarm at school because he didn't want to dissect a frog.

I did not.

Yes, you did.

$310.

Thank you, ma 'am.

He won't do it again.

I didn't do it in the first place. It was Dad.

Hey, what a respect for your parents, huh?

Eat your pancakes. You'll feel better. I feel fine, really.

Best pancakes I've ever tasted in my entire life, Mrs. H. I mean, the flavor,

the texture, the blueberries.

They really are delicious, Gary.

What are you, too, bucking for a loan or something?

Gary! Um, no, but I would like some seconds.

Thank you. You know, Gary, your dad feels really bad about your getting

Where is dad anyway?

He's programming your VCR.

That is so cool. He knows how to do that. Patrick, don't you need to be

up the bar?

The bar?

Yeah, right.

Thank you.

Why is dad reprogramming my VCR?

Well, he always tapes Larry King.

And he found this old Bruce Springsteen video, and he's going to tape over that.

You don't mind, do you, honey? No, not at all.

We just felt so badly about the towing, and we want to make it up to you. We

want to have one of those family days, just like old times.

I can't do that.

I've got a million things to do today. Like what?

Like, uh, there's, uh... Gary?

I'm looking.

You know, I thought we could go out to one of those outlet malls.

Holy Toledo, would you look at that. What is it? A life -or -death situation

over on Lakeshore Drive. Do you want your daddy to come with you? No, no, no,

time for that.

Well, be careful, honey.

Come on, people!

I can't believe this.

Miguel Diaz.

Miguel Diaz.

Diaz. Eli, how you doing?

Where are you? Lake Shore, stuck in traffic.

I have a slow news day. You promised me some wild... I'm stuck in traffic, Eli.

Cut me a break, huh?

You haven't given me a picture in two days. Five o 'clock photo audit. It'll

there. I swear to my mother's life.

That's what you said yesterday.

No, no, Eli.

You're working too hard, bro. That's not what I said yesterday. Yesterday I said

I had a lens problem.

Oh, you had a lens problem, and the dog ate your homework. And if I don't even

do wild art by 5 o 'clock, you're out of a job. What was that?

You're breaking up. I'm losing you.

Try some Mylanta. It'll soothe you.

What the hell's going on up there?

Some lunatic's holding up traffic so a line of ducks can cross.

Smile for the birdie.

He lies on the warpath.

Oh, please. He loves me. I'm gold.

Fool's gold.

They're looking for cutbacks. A lot of people would like to start with you. I

have no fear.

You want to know why I have no fear, Kathy?

No.

Because I'm a shooter. An S -stop warrior on the front line of the news.

stormed the beaches of Normandy, crossed the sands of Iwo Jima. We have covered

war, disaster, insurrection. Chicago.

Miguel, we're in Chicago.

Puerto Rican Day Parade. Same difference.

Hey, Diaz. Heard you had a tough day.

Quiet. Fight me. Just you and the ducks, huh?

Mark me if you're real, ladies and gentlemen.

I give you tomorrow's front page.

Ladies and gentlemen, duck men.

Gary, if your parents see that picture, they're going to know you lied about

spending time with them.

That's why they're not going to see the picture.

Hello?

Is this Miguel Diaz?

Yeah, this is Miguel Diaz. Who's this?

This is the guy with the ducks.

Hey, duck men.

Don't call me that.

How you doing?

Yeah, I'm doing fine, thank you. It's just that I can't have you print those

pictures. Hey, everybody worries about what their hair looks like, bro. But I'm

telling you, you look very nice.

I'm not worried about my hair.

Good for you.

No, no, no, look, you can't print those pictures, I'm telling you. Don't worry

about it. I take dozens of rolls a day.

Chances of this making the paper?

A million to one.

A million to one, huh?

Listen, pal, if you print these pictures, I am going to be in a lot of

Hey, wait, wait, let me guess.

You're in the witness protection program.

No, I'm not in the witness... No, it's... It's... No, it's my wife, you

You see, I told my wife that I was going to be out of town on business, and if

she sees these pictures, she's going to know that I was in Chicago.

You worry your wife will find out you're helping ducks?

All right, listen, buddy, you got to help me out here. It's my mother, okay?

my mother sees this picture, she's going to know I lied to her. You know how

that is, don't you? Hey, a little advice.

What did you say your name was?

Hobson, Gary Hobson.

A little advice, Gary.

You're just worried about what your mommy thinks.

You got worse problems than getting your picture taken.

Look, I'm telling you, don't print those pictures.

Hey, nice talking to you. Gotta go.

Bye.

Well?

Duckman to the rescue's gone.

Good.

Now it's Duckman Gary Hobson to the rescue.

Hey, Kat, do me a favor.

See if we got a following on Gary Hobson, would you? Who?

Gary Hobson.

What's up about this guy?

He's ringing a bell.

Ding, ding.

Lives are at stake.

Duck man to the rescue.

You lied to us, son.

Oh, well, I, uh... It's 6 .30, Chicago.

I gotta get that. Gary, what is going on here?

What I've been trying to tell your mother is that you're embarrassed.

Yeah, I'm embarrassed. I'm embarrassed about the, uh... About the duck thing.

About the duck thing. That is ridiculous, Bernie. It is not.

Well, why... Would he be embarrassed?

Running halfway across town to save some duckies? I am telling you, he's trying

to avoid us. You don't know anything about men, Lois. Men run with the

They don't walk with the ducks. Yeah, but when children lie, there is a

communication issue. He's not a child. He's a grown man.

This just isn't working out.

Well, then you just have to tell them.

Tell them what?

Tell them that you're not comfortable with them.

I am comfortable with them. Then why are you acting like such an adolescent?

I am not.

It's just that after college, you want to distance yourself from the parents.

You know, Thanksgiving and Christmas birthdays are fine. A phone call, sure,

living under the same roof, no, no, no, no. Well, Patrick loves having them

around. Well, they're not Patrick's parents, are they?

Listen, a lot of people have unresolved issues with their parents.

The best way to move on from that is to learn to tell them no.

No what?

No, you don't want them living here.

You have to be honest, Gary.

I can't do that.

Then why not?

They're my parents. I can't be honest with them. That's my point.

Four years of a psych degree and that's all you've got?

Yes. Talk to them.

I can't talk to them. Why not?

Because I got the paper.

Don't use that as an excuse.

25 -year -old woman robbed at ATM.

That's an excuse.

Okay, okay, okay.

Now, what about Bernie and Lewis?

I'll talk to them later.

Gary, are you wearing shoes?

Son.

Dad?

You had something you wanted to say to Gary, didn't you, Bernie?

Yeah.

I think your mom's got a point.

Go on.

The duck thing?

If you really felt close to us, you would have been able to tell us the

Are you sure you're okay with our being here?

Of course.

Do we get in the way?

No, no, no, no.

It's just that right now is really not a good time to discuss this because...

You see, there's a... Well, there's ATM robbery. ATM robbery?

Bernie! It's a rogue, kid! Wait!

Do you want us to come with you?

You can tell her the truth.

Well, of course.

You see, Lo, he understands.

We've only got 30, 35 years left.

What could be more important than spending it with our son?

Eight hits on Gary Hobson.

Quite a collection.

Questioned about a letter bomb.

Trapped in a warehouse. Almost died of hypothermia. This one's good.

The two terrorists were captured after attempting to sabotage his chest in the

landing. Peace talks and talks were being held at McKenzie's, a local bar

by former stockbroker Gary Hobson. And this one too.

Hobson's fans spun out on the downed landing expressway, blocked traffic, and

allowed a private plane to use the expressway for an emergency landing.

Busy boy.

Any pictures run with these stories?

None of him.

I know this face.

I know I know this face.

Think about it from out here.

Gotcha.

We could flank them.

Me from the front, you from the back, and we could crush them in the middle.

Dad, it's a simple little mugging. I get the girl out of the way, and then we go

to lunch. That's it. Okay, whatever works. Can I see the sales ad, son?

Your girl's supposed to be on her way to Tenet, right? Yeah.

Tenet talks at 8 o 'clock. Yeah.

Excuse me.

Who are you?

I'm the ATM special technician, and this is out of order right now.

Somebody just used it. Well, that's right, but that's because, well, it's

up every other card, and you're the other person, so... But I need cash now.

Well, how much were you getting?

Two hundred.

Two hundred. Well, how much do you need? I mean, how much do you really need?

Twenty. Twenty.

That's good. That's good.

Here's, uh...

What's there? There's 19 and 20.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Don't I need to find something? No, no, no, no. Just send the

money back with your name and account number. That'll be fine. That's it?

Yeah, that's it.

Well, we're streamlining here at the bank, you see.

And the ATM story's gone. We've got time to hit the white sale at Marshall

Field. That's tomorrow's white sale, Ma.

But I can place an order.

We're not going shopping. We're going to take our son to lunch, which reminds me

I need some cash.

No, no, you're not using that ATM.

Why not?

Because we promised Gary. Until he got finished with the ATM thing. He's

finished with that.

Bernie. All right, I won't go near the ATM machine. I won't even look at it.

I'll get our cash inside.

That was so nice of you. Thank you. I'm telling all my friends about this thing.

That's great. You do that.

Have a nice day.

Gary's birthday, 09 -1 -7.

Rapid cash.

Hold

up.

Sir, thank you very much.

I need $38.

What do you need $38 for?

I'm robbing you. You don't get to ask questions.

Well, it's an odd number. Oh, it's get behind me. I'm handling this. Give me

$38.

Hold it.

Freeze!

You!

Hey!

Hey, come on, pal.

Hey. Thanks.

Bernie.

One duck photo. Suddenly you're Woodward and Bernstein.

Look at the pictures. This guy's everywhere.

Crime scene photo. Dead homeless guy. There he is.

Downtown fire. The kids. There he is.

Resume a natural history accident?

There he is. Maybe it's the same guy, maybe not. Okay, forget the pictures.

at these. You got eight mentions by name, and what you got, I admit, are

unusual circumstances.

So, what you have is a guy who owns a bar who has a very active life.

You got fires, bomb threats, plane crashes. There's a story here, Eli, I'm

telling you.

Uh -huh.

Uh -huh. What do you mean, uh -huh? Uh -huh means I have a million things to do

while you are not out taking pictures, which is what I pay you to do. There's

something going on with this guy.

Will you go take pictures, please?

tactical team leader mike the window you don't want a position excuse me who are

you uh gary hobbs those are my parents in there and believe me we're gonna do

our absolute best to get him out of here i know who your hostage taker is howard

messer 34

Is this some kind of personal grudge between him and your family? Is that

going on here? No. Well, what's the relationship?

Well, I met him at the impound lot yesterday. He didn't have enough money

his car out. Barry, call the impound lot.

Tell them they got a vehicle registered to, uh... Howard Messer. Howard Messer.

Search the vehicle, pull the DMV, see if they got a sheet.

All right.

Mr. Hobson, tell me about your parents.

Can they keep this guy calm?

Calm?

I'm Bernie.

This is Lois.

I'm Howard.

Nice to meet you, Howard.

What, you think this is some kind of cocktail party?

Bernie. I know how you feel.

No, you don't know anything.

You would have given me that money. This never would have happened.

Why would I give you my money?

Just shut up, okay?

My lips are sealed.

I'm thrown away to keep.

This is your situation. You're in charge, pal. Just be quiet.

You want me to get this, or are you going to?

Um... Howard,

it's not going to bite you. It's just a phone.

You pick it up, they ask you what you want, and then you tell them.

It's a trick.

It's not a trick. I've seen it in a thousand movies.

The trick is when they deliver the pizza, and the pizza guy is a cop.

No pizza.

Exactly.

Of course, a lot of times the negotiator, you know, he's just stalling

so he can get the SWAT team into place.

And then sometimes the negotiators, they're just trying to suck you over

in front of the window so the sniper can get a clean shot at... Bernie.

Just trying to be helpful.

Helpful? You want to be helpful?

Then stop with the story!

You want me to handle this?

Hello. This is George Kermit's negotiator, Chicago Police Department.

I'd like to... What?

He wants to talk to you.

Me?

Keep him calm.

Hello, this is Gary.

Bernie says you can help.

Howard, what can I do for you? No promises.

Well, Howard, I'd like to see my parents come out of there.

My mom?

Okay, I can do that.

But listen, Howard, I want your guarantee.

You can do what?

He'd like me to go in there.

Are you crazy? Listen, he said he'd let my mother out if I go in. I'm not

sending a civilian to trade himself for a hostage. Listen, we're talking about

my mother here.

Get me a guy, his size and coloring.

What are you doing?

Give me a shirt. Why?

I'm sending in one of my men.

Lieutenant, you don't know my folks. Your folks will play along.

No, no, you don't understand. My folks... Forget it. You're not going in.

Him, out of perimeter.

You're making a mistake.

Hey, Lieutenant, what's up? What do you got?

Move him back, now!

No way, sometimes, man.

Out of here.

We got a bogey in the front. I think there's a bogey entering the front of

bed. Come back here! Hold your fire!

Hops.

Come on, come on, get him!

Yeah?

Mom, I'm here now. You can go. Go.

Go where? I'm not leaving.

Mom. I'm not gonna leave you and your dad in here alone.

Well, what am I doing here, then?

Well, I don't know. No one asked me now, did they?

Well, somebody's gotta go. I told them I'd let somebody go. I'll go.

Fine.

Let's go.

I came in here so you'd be safe.

Don't raise your voice to your mother.

Get a gun!

I know that. Don't snap, Bernie. I'm not snapping.

Everybody, shut up!

The situation inside is disintegrating, sir.

Phone.

What did you give me to come out of the trunk for? I needed to get cash to buy

you lunch. I would have bought lunch. I can't believe this.

We are staying in your loft. Your father wanted to buy lunch. It's not like we

get to have lunch with you every day or every six months, for that matter. Well,

it doesn't matter now, seeing that we're in the middle of a hostage situation.

You know, you could call me. Hello?

You people are hostages.

I told you about the tornado, didn't I?

30 seconds before it happened, the National Weather Bureau is better than

Stop yelling!

Hey, they're my parents, Howard. Stop yelling or I'll shoot!

Okay, Howard, calm down, huh?

My head is going to explode.

Do you want some aspirin? I think ibuprofen might be better for Howard.

up.

Um, Howard, that's a childproof safety lid. You need to...

That would do it.

Okay. Are we going to get out of here, or am I going to die of old age

to you people argue?

Well, I could go either way, Howard. One at a time, make your point, and then

let's move on.

Hey, what about the cops?

I can't talk to the cops while you people are making me crazy.

Okay, you, talk.

Yeah, whatever the hell your problem is, tell them, let's get it over with.

Well, it's just that, uh... You see, whenever they're around... Whenever

around, things get very... Complicated. What kind of crap is that? Complicated?

If that's the best you can do, I'm gonna have to shoot you right now.

Well, whenever you two are around, I feel, uh... I feel... Trapped.

Trapped? No, no, no, no, no, no. Wait, wait. Wait your turn.

Go ahead.

Uh... I mean, I'm a grown man here, and when you're around, well, I feel like a

kid, and I try to get over that. Permission to speak.

Make it quick.

So when we asked if you wanted us to stay and you said yes, what you really

meant was hell no.

Yes. And when we asked if you wanted us to come down to the bank with you and

you said yes... I meant no.

Done? Yes.

I'm not. No, no, no, you just lost your turn. Mom.

Huh? Uh... Gary.

When the tornado happened, all I could do was think about you. And now we're

here and it's like you don't want to be around us.

Well, it's not that I didn't... Let her finish.

I just feel that you don't care about us anymore.

Finished?

I'm finished.

Go ahead.

Well, of course I care, Mom. It's just that I have a hard time... Saying it.

Yes. Okay, okay. It's obvious the kid has trouble expressing his feelings. And

you're always ganging up on him. We are not ganging up on him!

You were such an affectionate little boy, and you needed me all the time. And

then one day I woke up, and you were gone.

And now I just feel that we're not a part of it anymore.

Well, you are a part of it, and I'm sorry if I grew up.

I love you very much.

Breakthrough! Family hug! Let's move on.

Hey, Howard, you're pretty good.

Yeah, you should be a therapist instead of an armed robber. I'm not an armed

robber. This isn't my gun. I've never even touched a gun.

I'm just trying to get enough money to get my car out of impound. I would have

paid it back.

You were going to rob my father and then leave a calling card?

Now, Gary, I think Howard's doing very well under the circumstances.

Of course, we wouldn't be in any circumstances if you hadn't gotten out

truck. All right, that's it. Clubs off.

He said to lay it on the line, Lois. Let's lay it on the line. How about the

eighth -grade father and son date that I find out about a week after the event?

What? He said lay it on the line. I laid it on the line. Lay it on the line. How

about the time I got suspended from the Pop Warner football team because you

stole the other team's mascot?

You know something? I just had an insight.

Ever since puberty, you have been embarrassed by us. Well, did you ever

maybe that was justified?

Gunshot fire. Prepare for breach. Lock and load.

It's in the fan, Eli. And guess who's inside?

Gary Hobson.

Not Hobson again.

I'm telling you, if you like this... Will you stop with the theories and just

get the damn pictures?

Tactical team's in position.

Stand by.

Everyone's fine. It was just an accident.

I think you're speaking under duress, Mr. Hobson. No, I'm under duress, but

not that kind of duress.

Tell them we'll wave at the window.

We'll wave at the window.

There they are.

Go up this window.

The situation's unstable.

If you get a clean shot at the hostage taker, take it.

We got him into it.

No, I think he got himself into it.

But he's really not that bad.

Mom, he's pretty bad.

It's 38 bucks, Gar.

For 38 bucks, he's looking at the wrong end of a bullet or life in prison.

Could be my fault, your fault, his fault, who cares? It's just not right.

I don't want that on my conscience.

Whatever problems you've got with me and your mom, don't take it out on him.

What the... Who the hell's on the roof?

He's got a camera.

It looks like he's trying to get into the bank.

Go up the fire escape.

Get him down.

Yes, sir.

You're gonna kill me.

This. 38 bucks.

You're dead. Look. You're gonna die.

Game over. Hasta la vista, Howard. He's got a gun. You just can't walk out.

I just can't let the officer die either.

I'll create a diversion.

No. Sniper.

Look, put the gun down and give me a hand or he's going to fall.

Come on, Howard.

He's put down his weapon.

It looks like he's helping the officer.

All right, here we go.

We have a clear shot.

Hold your fire.

Okay, I got you.

Say cheese, fellas.

Very insecure.

We were never in any danger.

Nah.

You hungry?

We thought we'd let you know that we're going home tonight.

Yeah, we're just gonna finish packing up the gray ghost and then we'll be out of

your hair.

Well, look, Dad, uh, you know, there's no, uh... There's no rush.

Well, people count on us.

You know, the tornado thing and the neighbors.

You know the drill.

Places to go, things to do. We should be where we're needed.

Well, okay.

Well, you have a good evening, Gar.

I need you.

You do?

Oh, absolutely.

It's just that I don't need you to be here all the time.

I need you to be my parents, but... Keep it like a long -distance thing, huh?

Well, not exactly. I want you to be close, but... Not that close?

Well, uh... You like having us around, but...

You don't love it. Look, I love you.

I love the both of you, and I always will.

You love us, but we annoy you.

Well, that's closer.

You love us, but you find us easier to take in small doses.

That's it.

I knew I'd get it.

That's not so bad.

No. Now, was that so hard to say?

Yes.

Come here, excuse me.

Oh, sorry.

Listen, I'm hungry. Are you hungry?

I'm always hungry. What about you, Lo? Well, you know, now that you mention it,

I'm starving. Yeah, well, of course, if we go out to dinner, though, it might be

a little late. You might have to leave tomorrow.

We don't want to get a late start. Yeah, but we could stay.

Traffic's always better on the weekend, anyway.

Is that an invitation?

Three days, final offer.

In the Grey Ghost or up here? Up here, of course.

It's a deal.

Come on, come on, come on. Where would you like to go?

Get some notes?

Yeah. Good idea.

There's more tomorrow at midday.

Burt Reynolds has done his own stunt work throughout his career, and he's not

stopping now.

He's back in fine form in the race to catch a dangerous villain in the old

West. Hard Ground, starring Burt Reynolds, next on Hallmark, where great

come to life.