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1
00:00:53,420 --> 00:00:54,420
I finally nailed him.
2
00:01:02,120 --> 00:01:03,220
That ain't no bomber.
3
00:01:07,340 --> 00:01:08,540
Get him out of here.
4
00:01:51,080 --> 00:01:54,760
Good morning. It's Christmas Eve day
here in Chicago. Time to hang that
5
00:01:54,760 --> 00:01:56,420
mistletoe and hit those stores.
6
00:01:56,680 --> 00:02:01,520
The temperature stands at a chilly 33
degrees, but forecasters are calling for
7
00:02:01,520 --> 00:02:03,840
things to warm up for Santa's arrival
tonight.
8
00:02:04,580 --> 00:02:08,600
In the news today, police continue their
search for the elusive teddy bear
9
00:02:08,600 --> 00:02:11,920
bomber who has terrorized Chicago for
almost three weeks.
10
00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:14,180
Working on anonymous tips... Hey, buddy!
11
00:02:16,340 --> 00:02:18,540
Merry Christmas!
12
00:02:20,170 --> 00:02:21,170
What's that?
13
00:02:21,650 --> 00:02:22,650
It's a tree.
14
00:02:23,890 --> 00:02:24,890
Call it a tree?
15
00:02:25,210 --> 00:02:26,250
I bought it for you.
16
00:02:26,970 --> 00:02:27,970
You bought that?
17
00:02:28,890 --> 00:02:30,030
Well, it fell off a truck.
18
00:02:30,690 --> 00:02:31,609
I'm touched.
19
00:02:31,610 --> 00:02:32,569
I knew you would be.
20
00:02:32,570 --> 00:02:36,810
Wow, I see you've gone all out with the
holiday trimmings. It looks very festive
21
00:02:36,810 --> 00:02:37,830
in here, very decorative.
22
00:02:38,310 --> 00:02:39,310
Thank you.
23
00:02:39,370 --> 00:02:41,430
I haven't exactly had much time to do
things.
24
00:02:41,690 --> 00:02:42,970
I see. You're in denial.
25
00:02:43,330 --> 00:02:44,330
It's understandable.
26
00:02:44,830 --> 00:02:45,789
How's that?
27
00:02:45,790 --> 00:02:47,850
Well, it's your first Christmas alone,
divorced.
28
00:02:48,540 --> 00:02:49,760
Living on top of a hotel.
29
00:02:49,980 --> 00:02:51,120
No social life.
30
00:02:52,600 --> 00:02:53,600
Must be rough.
31
00:02:53,720 --> 00:02:55,900
Thank you very much for reminding me of
that, Chuck.
32
00:02:56,380 --> 00:02:59,540
Fortunately, I have a cure for your
nagging midwinter blues.
33
00:03:00,020 --> 00:03:01,500
Yep. What's that?
34
00:03:02,040 --> 00:03:03,040
Ta -da!
35
00:03:05,860 --> 00:03:07,560
Lift tickets to wind dance, buddy.
36
00:03:08,580 --> 00:03:09,700
You get ski tickets.
37
00:03:09,900 --> 00:03:11,540
You and me out on the slopes Christmas
Eve.
38
00:03:11,840 --> 00:03:13,680
Couple of babes in stretch pants.
39
00:03:14,320 --> 00:03:17,280
I got my car back and waiting
downstairs. Let's go pack a bag!
40
00:03:17,580 --> 00:03:19,060
You got ski tickets? Yep.
41
00:03:20,820 --> 00:03:21,820
Here.
42
00:03:22,260 --> 00:03:23,260
Here.
43
00:03:24,700 --> 00:03:25,700
I can't go.
44
00:03:26,480 --> 00:03:27,478
Why not?
45
00:03:27,480 --> 00:03:28,880
What do you mean, why not? I can't go.
46
00:03:35,680 --> 00:03:42,200
Come on, Gare. One night out of town.
What is the big deal? What's the big
47
00:03:42,220 --> 00:03:44,060
You know what the big deal is. I'm stuck
with this thing.
48
00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:51,020
People need help on the holidays. This
holiday, I'm stuck serving up the help.
49
00:03:51,120 --> 00:03:52,900
Not if you're not there to do it, right?
50
00:03:53,120 --> 00:03:55,200
I had an uncle who killed himself on
Christmas.
51
00:03:56,420 --> 00:03:57,420
Really?
52
00:03:58,500 --> 00:03:59,500
Whoa, is he depressed?
53
00:03:59,920 --> 00:04:02,340
No. Just stuck his fork in the toaster.
54
00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:08,300
All I'm saying is, Gary, you have the
right to enjoy yourself.
55
00:04:08,520 --> 00:04:09,379
Everyone does.
56
00:04:09,380 --> 00:04:10,380
Uh -huh.
57
00:04:12,560 --> 00:04:13,560
What are you doing tonight?
58
00:04:14,540 --> 00:04:15,540
Waiting for Santa.
59
00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:17,840
Santa?
60
00:04:18,260 --> 00:04:19,260
Yeah, why?
61
00:04:19,980 --> 00:04:22,580
So, you actually believe in Santa Claus?
62
00:04:23,560 --> 00:04:24,620
In theory, at least.
63
00:04:25,240 --> 00:04:29,200
In theory, you believe that there's some
fat guy in a red suit who flies around
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00:04:29,200 --> 00:04:31,480
on a sled and hangs out with a bunch of
elves.
65
00:04:31,840 --> 00:04:33,560
Yeah, Mr. Grinch, and what do you
believe in?
66
00:04:34,080 --> 00:04:35,080
Presents.
67
00:04:35,920 --> 00:04:36,920
I'll come back later.
68
00:04:37,260 --> 00:04:38,260
Thanks, Gidget.
69
00:04:39,260 --> 00:04:41,480
Listen, Gary, are you going to go with
me or not?
70
00:04:42,080 --> 00:04:44,120
Come on, the world can take care of
itself for a day.
71
00:04:45,680 --> 00:04:47,060
I don't think I'm going to make it.
72
00:04:47,640 --> 00:04:52,300
An explosive device hidden inside a
child's toy teddy bear detonated today
73
00:04:52,300 --> 00:04:54,660
Bicentennial Skating Rink in downtown
Chicago.
74
00:04:57,980 --> 00:05:03,580
The explosion, which occurred at 10 .45
in the morning, killed 20 holiday
75
00:05:03,580 --> 00:05:06,020
skaters and injured 50 more.
76
00:05:09,880 --> 00:05:12,560
Police revealed that the bomber left a
note in the wreckage.
77
00:05:13,040 --> 00:05:15,400
But officials refused to divulge the
contents.
78
00:05:19,760 --> 00:05:21,160
Now he's going to become a murderer.
79
00:05:22,520 --> 00:05:23,640
I'm going to need your help, Chuck.
80
00:05:25,080 --> 00:05:27,740
Fine, fine. You save the world. Me? I'm
going skiing.
81
00:05:28,980 --> 00:05:30,780
And do what? Chase around a bunch of
bunnies?
82
00:05:30,980 --> 00:05:31,879
You got it.
83
00:05:31,880 --> 00:05:32,880
Uh -huh.
84
00:05:33,060 --> 00:05:35,640
Look, this is too big. I'm going to need
some help. I'm telling you.
85
00:05:37,720 --> 00:05:38,720
Qualified help.
86
00:05:39,620 --> 00:05:41,160
Yeah? And where are you going to get
that?
87
00:05:43,020 --> 00:05:44,320
I almost hate to say it.
88
00:05:45,600 --> 00:05:46,600
Say it anyway.
89
00:05:46,920 --> 00:05:48,440
Well... No, no, I don't want to hear it.
90
00:05:48,820 --> 00:05:50,260
All I want to know is who is this guy?
91
00:05:50,960 --> 00:05:52,600
Three weeks on this case, he's running
us ragged.
92
00:05:52,960 --> 00:05:53,980
The mayor wants action.
93
00:05:55,540 --> 00:05:57,720
Said he bears my butt. Go on, get out of
here.
94
00:06:02,720 --> 00:06:03,720
Sir?
95
00:06:04,520 --> 00:06:06,160
What is it? The mayor's on the phone.
96
00:06:06,780 --> 00:06:07,780
Again.
97
00:06:08,340 --> 00:06:09,340
Tell him I'm dead.
98
00:06:09,720 --> 00:06:10,619
Yes, sir.
99
00:06:10,620 --> 00:06:12,120
And there's someone to see you.
100
00:06:12,750 --> 00:06:13,709
What kind of someone?
101
00:06:13,710 --> 00:06:16,070
Says he knows things about the bomber.
102
00:06:16,330 --> 00:06:17,390
Oh, of course he does.
103
00:06:17,730 --> 00:06:20,230
Everybody knows things about this bomber
except me. Tell him to beat it.
104
00:06:20,650 --> 00:06:21,850
He also says he knows you.
105
00:06:22,810 --> 00:06:23,810
Me? What's his name?
106
00:06:24,970 --> 00:06:25,970
Hobson.
107
00:06:26,570 --> 00:06:27,570
Remember me?
108
00:06:28,430 --> 00:06:29,430
Oh, no.
109
00:06:34,830 --> 00:06:36,690
Nice beard, polyester.
110
00:06:38,230 --> 00:06:40,610
Hey, Santa, get yourself a real job,
huh?
111
00:06:54,930 --> 00:06:55,930
Excuse me.
112
00:06:56,710 --> 00:06:57,710
Is this your vehicle?
113
00:06:58,050 --> 00:06:59,050
Yes, it is.
114
00:07:00,650 --> 00:07:02,010
Nice. Thank you.
115
00:07:02,310 --> 00:07:04,230
I'm going to see you. I don't think so.
116
00:07:04,890 --> 00:07:07,070
Excuse me. You're coming downtown with
us.
117
00:07:08,410 --> 00:07:09,450
Scoff law violation.
118
00:07:09,810 --> 00:07:10,810
We're impounding your car.
119
00:07:20,660 --> 00:07:21,660
Yes,
120
00:07:21,800 --> 00:07:22,800
sir. This morning?
121
00:07:23,080 --> 00:07:24,300
That's right, 10 .45.
122
00:07:24,740 --> 00:07:25,740
But it hasn't happened yet?
123
00:07:26,140 --> 00:07:27,880
No. But it's going to, you sure?
124
00:07:28,380 --> 00:07:34,420
Yes. And you know this because... Well,
I'd rather not say. Because if you did,
125
00:07:34,500 --> 00:07:35,800
I wouldn't believe you.
126
00:07:36,280 --> 00:07:37,500
Who put you up to this anyway?
127
00:07:38,220 --> 00:07:42,320
What? Some guy with a sick sense of
humor? Some comedy guy?
128
00:07:42,600 --> 00:07:44,760
No, I'm telling you the truth. Oh, sure
you are.
129
00:07:45,040 --> 00:07:48,000
Like all the other 87 hot tips we got
today, huh? No.
130
00:07:48,730 --> 00:07:52,390
Look, this one is real. People are gonna
die. I'm just trying to help you here.
131
00:07:52,650 --> 00:07:54,090
No, of course you are, Mrs. Flatt.
132
00:07:54,710 --> 00:07:55,730
Look, do me a favor.
133
00:07:56,170 --> 00:07:57,710
Go help somebody else, huh?
134
00:07:58,290 --> 00:07:59,290
Get him out of here.
135
00:07:59,970 --> 00:08:03,010
Look, this is gonna happen today, Crump.
He's gonna leave a note.
136
00:08:04,270 --> 00:08:05,750
Did you say a note?
137
00:08:07,250 --> 00:08:08,250
Okay, talk.
138
00:08:09,050 --> 00:08:09,989
About what?
139
00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:10,990
About the note.
140
00:08:11,330 --> 00:08:12,249
Where is it?
141
00:08:12,250 --> 00:08:13,189
What's it like?
142
00:08:13,190 --> 00:08:14,470
What's it say? Look, I don't know.
143
00:08:15,410 --> 00:08:17,730
All I know is that it's found in the
wreckage. Oh.
144
00:08:18,289 --> 00:08:19,289
Like these were?
145
00:08:22,390 --> 00:08:23,249
No one.
146
00:08:23,250 --> 00:08:25,690
Not even the press knew about these. We
were keeping a secret. Now, who told
147
00:08:25,690 --> 00:08:26,690
you?
148
00:08:32,169 --> 00:08:33,590
I can't tell you. Eight of these.
149
00:08:33,850 --> 00:08:35,390
In three weeks, all addressed to me.
150
00:08:35,710 --> 00:08:36,710
Ha, ha, ha.
151
00:08:37,169 --> 00:08:37,869
Fooled you.
152
00:08:37,870 --> 00:08:38,870
This guy's giving me a headache.
153
00:08:39,030 --> 00:08:41,429
Well, look, I'm sorry about that, but
what do you want me to do? You're sorry?
154
00:08:41,490 --> 00:08:42,490
What about me?
155
00:08:42,570 --> 00:08:43,570
This is Christmas Eve.
156
00:08:43,789 --> 00:08:44,890
I should be home with my kids.
157
00:08:45,290 --> 00:08:47,470
Instead, I'm sitting around with some
guy who thinks he's the amazing Kreskin.
158
00:08:47,840 --> 00:08:50,280
And what's worse, I'm even starting to
believe them.
159
00:08:50,720 --> 00:08:51,720
Now, is that nuts?
160
00:08:51,740 --> 00:08:52,740
Don't answer that.
161
00:08:56,760 --> 00:08:59,340
It's a bicentennial gating link in less
than an hour.
162
00:08:59,800 --> 00:09:00,800
Yeah.
163
00:09:03,080 --> 00:09:04,800
Now, we're staying here.
164
00:09:06,080 --> 00:09:07,540
Sir, Mayor's calling again.
165
00:09:11,440 --> 00:09:14,240
All right, look, Bob's squad is SWAT.
They're lots of communication.
166
00:09:15,619 --> 00:09:18,620
And warn the locals that we're coming
in. But keep it quiet. I don't want to
167
00:09:18,620 --> 00:09:21,700
cause a panic. Excuse me, shouldn't you
evacuate the rink over there? On what
168
00:09:21,700 --> 00:09:22,960
grounds? A little birdie told me?
169
00:09:23,300 --> 00:09:27,640
A little birdie. Look, people get cranky
when you shut down their business on a
170
00:09:27,640 --> 00:09:28,579
hunch.
171
00:09:28,580 --> 00:09:30,020
Show me your bomb and then we'll talk.
172
00:09:32,480 --> 00:09:33,480
Me?
173
00:09:33,620 --> 00:09:37,080
No, I don't know where the bomb is. I
don't know exactly where it is. Fine,
174
00:09:37,080 --> 00:09:38,660
on along for the ride. We'll have a lot
of fun.
175
00:09:38,900 --> 00:09:40,280
Oh, no, no, no. Listen, Charlie.
176
00:09:40,540 --> 00:09:41,580
Gary. It's Gary.
177
00:09:41,940 --> 00:09:45,160
Whomever. You're not walking until I
find this S .O .B. You want to guess
178
00:09:49,020 --> 00:09:50,240
Because it might be me.
179
00:09:50,740 --> 00:09:52,280
Bingo. It might be you. Get in the car.
180
00:10:07,960 --> 00:10:11,300
Shouldn't you be solving murders or
prosecuting drug dealers or something?
181
00:10:12,140 --> 00:10:13,140
This is ridiculous.
182
00:10:13,860 --> 00:10:14,860
Who's this?
183
00:10:15,120 --> 00:10:16,120
Fishman Charles.
184
00:10:16,680 --> 00:10:19,980
Chuck, as my good friend the congressman
calls me.
185
00:10:20,400 --> 00:10:21,400
Which congressman?
186
00:10:22,240 --> 00:10:23,240
All of them.
187
00:10:24,160 --> 00:10:27,080
Look, Sergeant, there's obviously been
some sort of mistake here.
188
00:10:27,860 --> 00:10:29,760
These Nazis took my car.
189
00:10:29,960 --> 00:10:32,040
Now, I am willing to overlook... What's
he in for?
190
00:10:32,460 --> 00:10:33,379
Parking tickets.
191
00:10:33,380 --> 00:10:34,380
See what I mean?
192
00:10:34,700 --> 00:10:35,579
Parking tickets.
193
00:10:35,580 --> 00:10:36,199
How many?
194
00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:37,200
106.
195
00:10:37,560 --> 00:10:39,060
Okay, so I park a lot.
196
00:10:39,320 --> 00:10:41,020
It's a big city. It happens.
197
00:10:41,720 --> 00:10:47,300
You know, mail and schedules. I've been
so busy lately, as I'm sure you have.
198
00:10:48,700 --> 00:10:52,400
To tell you the truth, I thought I
already paid.
199
00:10:53,460 --> 00:10:56,620
So, just tell me what the fine is, I'll
pay it, and I'll be gone.
200
00:10:56,880 --> 00:10:57,880
Too late for that.
201
00:10:58,820 --> 00:11:02,360
Okay, then bail. How much is bail? A
couple of hundred? A grand?
202
00:11:02,980 --> 00:11:06,700
I'll write you a check right now, okay?
And then next week, after I'm off the
203
00:11:06,700 --> 00:11:07,960
slopes... That's up to the judge.
204
00:11:08,800 --> 00:11:09,800
Judge?
205
00:11:10,280 --> 00:11:11,280
Where?
206
00:11:11,720 --> 00:11:13,260
Court convenes early Thursday morning.
207
00:11:13,860 --> 00:11:14,980
That's the day after tomorrow.
208
00:11:17,060 --> 00:11:18,580
What is this, some sort of joke?
209
00:11:19,200 --> 00:11:21,360
A little yuletide humor?
210
00:11:25,760 --> 00:11:27,800
Think of it as your personal manger.
211
00:11:28,100 --> 00:11:29,100
You can't do this.
212
00:11:29,240 --> 00:11:30,440
This isn't Bolivia.
213
00:11:31,020 --> 00:11:32,600
I'll call Johnny Cochran.
214
00:11:33,600 --> 00:11:34,600
Oh, great.
215
00:11:34,920 --> 00:11:36,140
This is just perfect.
216
00:11:36,700 --> 00:11:37,960
Think you got a problem?
217
00:11:38,800 --> 00:11:39,960
I'm late for work.
218
00:11:41,739 --> 00:11:42,880
Yeah? And who are you?
219
00:11:44,900 --> 00:11:45,900
Santa Claus.
220
00:11:51,940 --> 00:11:54,820
Hey, this is it. How much time we got?
Fifteen minutes, maybe less.
221
00:11:55,780 --> 00:11:58,040
You sure you don't want to change your
story? No, this is going to happen.
222
00:11:58,040 --> 00:11:59,320
me. Yeah, I was afraid of that.
223
00:11:59,560 --> 00:12:02,160
Look, Crumb, can't we get these people
out of here just to be on the safe side?
224
00:12:02,300 --> 00:12:03,139
You like skating?
225
00:12:03,140 --> 00:12:05,660
Huh? They like skating. They came here
to skate.
226
00:12:05,940 --> 00:12:07,100
Let's look around first, okay?
227
00:12:07,820 --> 00:12:08,920
Yo, you better look back!
228
00:12:13,380 --> 00:12:14,380
Oh, boy.
229
00:12:15,040 --> 00:12:15,919
Oh, boy.
230
00:12:15,920 --> 00:12:17,300
Hey, Aunt Marge.
231
00:12:17,760 --> 00:12:19,740
It's me, Chuck Fishman. How are you?
232
00:12:21,480 --> 00:12:22,560
Your nephew, remember?
233
00:12:23,920 --> 00:12:25,860
Yeah. Hey, Merry Christmas.
234
00:12:27,240 --> 00:12:31,500
Yeah, that's right, the scrawny one.
Listen, Aunt Marge, I'm in a bit of a
235
00:12:31,500 --> 00:12:36,940
here, and... No, no, no, I'm not coming
to visit. Uh -huh. I'm in jail, and I've
236
00:12:36,940 --> 00:12:39,780
called everyone I know, and... Hello?
237
00:12:41,280 --> 00:12:42,280
Marge?
238
00:12:43,760 --> 00:12:44,760
Cut off?
239
00:12:46,540 --> 00:12:47,540
Hung up.
240
00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:49,000
She's like that.
241
00:12:49,240 --> 00:12:50,240
Who?
242
00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:51,520
Marge.
243
00:12:52,780 --> 00:12:53,940
You know my aunt?
244
00:12:54,200 --> 00:12:55,220
Well, I know everyone.
245
00:12:55,600 --> 00:12:56,620
Been to the house.
246
00:12:57,540 --> 00:13:00,540
Oh, that's right, because you're, uh...
Uh -huh.
247
00:13:02,120 --> 00:13:04,700
Hey! Can someone get in here?
248
00:13:04,940 --> 00:13:06,300
I'd like to make a complaint!
249
00:13:07,180 --> 00:13:08,900
Sergeant! His name's Eddie.
250
00:13:09,180 --> 00:13:12,160
We used to call him Stinker when he was
eight. Don't bring it up.
251
00:13:12,460 --> 00:13:13,460
He's sensitive.
252
00:13:14,680 --> 00:13:15,680
Hello!
253
00:13:16,860 --> 00:13:17,860
Problem here?
254
00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:18,920
Yeah, I got a problem.
255
00:13:19,380 --> 00:13:20,920
When do I get out of this rat trap?
256
00:13:21,180 --> 00:13:24,040
Once you run through your files, the
computer's down right now. Well, get it
257
00:13:24,040 --> 00:13:24,659
back up.
258
00:13:24,660 --> 00:13:26,600
Have a little patience. It's Christmas
Eve.
259
00:13:26,960 --> 00:13:29,020
Give me that cellular phone. This is a
jail.
260
00:13:29,520 --> 00:13:30,520
Hey, hey, hey.
261
00:13:33,940 --> 00:13:34,940
What's with this guy?
262
00:13:35,740 --> 00:13:36,740
Breaking and entering.
263
00:13:36,900 --> 00:13:39,460
They picked him up on a rooftop trying
to sneak down a chimney.
264
00:13:39,720 --> 00:13:41,080
Meant to clean the whole place out.
265
00:13:41,520 --> 00:13:42,900
It's not how it looked.
266
00:13:44,260 --> 00:13:50,100
Look, I don't want to seem pushy, but I
need to be going. See, my sleigh's due
267
00:13:50,100 --> 00:13:52,080
to pick me up in a half hour in the
park.
268
00:13:52,360 --> 00:13:53,880
And then where, the North Pole?
269
00:13:54,380 --> 00:13:55,380
Oh, Thailand.
270
00:13:55,620 --> 00:13:59,340
You know how it is. Once you get behind
on a gig like this, you're fruitcake.
271
00:14:00,160 --> 00:14:02,260
Well, a lot of kids are going to be
disappointed.
272
00:14:03,600 --> 00:14:05,340
You really believe this, don't you?
273
00:14:11,280 --> 00:14:12,540
I think you're out of your mind.
274
00:14:15,880 --> 00:14:17,720
Then you're gonna get a lump of coal.
275
00:14:25,400 --> 00:14:27,320
Anything yet? No sign of it anywhere.
276
00:14:27,660 --> 00:14:29,220
Your chain of lockers? Doing it now.
277
00:14:30,920 --> 00:14:31,920
Well?
278
00:14:32,220 --> 00:14:34,280
We just gotta keep looking. It's gotta
be here somewhere.
279
00:14:34,600 --> 00:14:35,600
Of course it is.
280
00:14:35,900 --> 00:14:36,920
Unless, of course, it ain't.
281
00:14:38,760 --> 00:14:39,759
What's happening?
282
00:14:39,760 --> 00:14:41,220
Meaning maybe it's here, maybe it's not.
283
00:14:41,580 --> 00:14:42,580
Maybe it's on the moon.
284
00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:45,980
Maybe you're the bomber. Or maybe I'm
just out of my mind. Well, that's a good
285
00:14:45,980 --> 00:14:47,080
possibility. Let me tell you.
286
00:14:47,540 --> 00:14:49,220
Nothing. All right, we're out of here.
287
00:14:50,800 --> 00:14:52,180
You have some explaining to do.
288
00:14:52,460 --> 00:14:53,920
What are you talking about? You can't
leave.
289
00:14:54,180 --> 00:14:54,859
Try me.
290
00:14:54,860 --> 00:14:57,640
Look, people are going to die, Crumb.
Yeah, me from frostbite. I'm going to
291
00:14:57,640 --> 00:14:58,640
out of here.
292
00:14:59,320 --> 00:15:00,320
Crumb, the bear.
293
00:16:22,960 --> 00:16:23,960
For the second time.
294
00:16:24,560 --> 00:16:25,980
I don't see any list.
295
00:16:26,440 --> 00:16:27,480
Oh, it's in my head.
296
00:16:28,080 --> 00:16:30,300
It would take forever to put something
like that down on paper.
297
00:16:30,680 --> 00:16:31,700
It's easier this way.
298
00:16:32,440 --> 00:16:35,140
It's kind of like that movie Rain Man.
299
00:16:36,720 --> 00:16:38,400
Well, go ahead. You know, quiz me.
300
00:16:38,840 --> 00:16:41,720
I don't have time for your stupid games.
Of course you do.
301
00:16:42,040 --> 00:16:43,040
You're in prison.
302
00:16:43,440 --> 00:16:44,339
Go ahead.
303
00:16:44,340 --> 00:16:45,340
Any name.
304
00:16:45,480 --> 00:16:46,480
Try it.
305
00:16:47,620 --> 00:16:48,700
Martin Gorolowitz.
306
00:16:50,200 --> 00:16:51,540
Naughty. What?
307
00:16:52,240 --> 00:16:53,720
Four years in a row.
308
00:16:54,400 --> 00:16:55,400
Next.
309
00:16:58,520 --> 00:17:00,020
Igor Strasovsky.
310
00:17:00,460 --> 00:17:01,460
Which one?
311
00:17:01,960 --> 00:17:03,500
The one in Budapest.
312
00:17:03,820 --> 00:17:04,820
Father, son.
313
00:17:04,980 --> 00:17:06,220
Son. Nice.
314
00:17:06,460 --> 00:17:08,079
See, it's really not that hard.
315
00:17:08,400 --> 00:17:12,640
See, I'd scramble the letters, then
alphabetize them into a code.
316
00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:15,940
Then how do you get there?
317
00:17:16,579 --> 00:17:19,720
Where? Two billion homes in one night.
318
00:17:20,460 --> 00:17:21,700
Oh, yeah, well.
319
00:17:22,149 --> 00:17:25,010
It's really not that hard if you work
the time zones.
320
00:17:25,530 --> 00:17:29,170
See, it's tomorrow in Asia when it's
yesterday here.
321
00:17:29,830 --> 00:17:32,970
Of course, you have to wear a lot of
watches to keep it all straight, but you
322
00:17:32,970 --> 00:17:33,970
kind of get used to that.
323
00:17:34,790 --> 00:17:40,110
And also, of course, those reindeer go
like bats out of hell.
324
00:17:43,510 --> 00:17:44,510
Help!
325
00:17:47,870 --> 00:17:50,930
Dear Detective Crump, watch out for tin
ice.
326
00:17:51,520 --> 00:17:52,520
Was it some kind of a joke?
327
00:17:52,780 --> 00:17:54,100
I think it's a pun.
328
00:17:54,580 --> 00:17:56,040
I think it's a pun.
329
00:17:56,380 --> 00:17:57,680
You know, ice.
330
00:17:58,320 --> 00:17:59,320
Thin ice.
331
00:17:59,340 --> 00:18:00,340
Get out of here.
332
00:18:00,820 --> 00:18:02,620
You know what I think? I think this is
getting personal.
333
00:18:02,860 --> 00:18:04,600
Look, something's wrong. It was supposed
to explode.
334
00:18:04,900 --> 00:18:07,280
Yes? The bomb. It was supposed to
explode, but there's no bomb.
335
00:18:07,560 --> 00:18:08,560
Very astute observation.
336
00:18:08,720 --> 00:18:11,660
Look, this guy, he's following us.
Whoever he is, he knows where we're
337
00:18:11,760 --> 00:18:12,760
What are you doing?
338
00:18:13,220 --> 00:18:14,220
Looks like snow.
339
00:18:14,280 --> 00:18:15,940
You got any feeling about that, one way
or the other?
340
00:18:16,360 --> 00:18:17,239
About what?
341
00:18:17,240 --> 00:18:18,340
Because if you did...
342
00:18:18,540 --> 00:18:21,780
You could be a weatherman instead of,
you know, a deputy sheriff. You still
343
00:18:21,780 --> 00:18:22,780
don't believe me, do you?
344
00:18:22,920 --> 00:18:26,500
Look, I'm letting you go. Not that I
don't sell my suspicions. It's just that
345
00:18:26,500 --> 00:18:30,540
you're making me crazy with this should
be, supposed to be. I mean, what are
346
00:18:30,540 --> 00:18:33,940
you, one of those magic eight balls?
Look, Crumb, all I'm trying to do is
347
00:18:33,940 --> 00:18:35,400
you out here. Do me a favor.
348
00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:37,000
Don't.
349
00:18:38,620 --> 00:18:39,620
All right, I won't.
350
00:18:41,200 --> 00:18:43,840
Merry Christmas, you old goat.
351
00:18:54,410 --> 00:18:55,470
Goodbye stretch pants.
352
00:18:56,350 --> 00:18:57,410
Goodbye fireplace.
353
00:18:58,310 --> 00:18:59,870
Goodbye weekend in heaven.
354
00:19:00,090 --> 00:19:02,230
You're pretty broken up about this,
aren't you?
355
00:19:03,330 --> 00:19:04,330
Wouldn't you be?
356
00:19:04,550 --> 00:19:09,070
My car's in hock, my life is a mess, and
I'm stuck here in jail with a raving
357
00:19:09,070 --> 00:19:10,470
lunatic on Christmas Eve.
358
00:19:10,690 --> 00:19:13,190
Things just never work out for you, do
they?
359
00:19:15,070 --> 00:19:16,330
Who asked you?
360
00:19:17,170 --> 00:19:19,370
Problem is, you don't believe.
361
00:19:20,350 --> 00:19:22,170
Could you just shut up?
362
00:19:24,520 --> 00:19:25,520
Too bad.
363
00:19:26,440 --> 00:19:28,980
You started out as a good kid, as I
remember.
364
00:19:29,980 --> 00:19:36,700
Of course, that's some time ago, and
there was that Christmas, and you were
365
00:19:36,700 --> 00:19:37,700
nine.
366
00:19:38,720 --> 00:19:41,940
Wrong. I was eight. Shows you how much
you know.
367
00:19:42,220 --> 00:19:45,080
No, you were nine, I'm sure of it.
Eight. Nine. Eight.
368
00:19:45,280 --> 00:19:47,840
Are you absolutely positive? I was eight
when I asked for the sled.
369
00:19:49,240 --> 00:19:50,380
Fine, and you were eight.
370
00:19:50,920 --> 00:19:52,440
And all you got is that sled.
371
00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:54,320
What kind was it again?
372
00:19:56,660 --> 00:19:57,660
L .L. Bean.
373
00:19:57,880 --> 00:20:00,620
Nah, flexible flyer.
374
00:20:01,240 --> 00:20:03,900
The one with the fins on the back?
375
00:20:05,380 --> 00:20:07,520
Nah, you're making that up.
376
00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:12,500
You're pretty good at this, aren't you?
377
00:20:13,420 --> 00:20:14,500
I try to be.
378
00:20:15,340 --> 00:20:18,120
But you didn't get it, did you, that
sled?
379
00:20:18,500 --> 00:20:20,340
It went to someone else.
380
00:20:21,420 --> 00:20:22,420
Inky Bowers.
381
00:20:23,070 --> 00:20:24,070
Inky bars.
382
00:20:24,930 --> 00:20:26,190
I never liked that kid.
383
00:20:27,610 --> 00:20:29,770
You all wondered why I went to him.
384
00:20:31,290 --> 00:20:32,470
Because you didn't believe.
385
00:20:33,530 --> 00:20:35,530
See, there's a price you have to pay for
that.
386
00:20:36,090 --> 00:20:37,090
Not believing.
387
00:20:37,670 --> 00:20:38,670
Big one.
388
00:20:38,830 --> 00:20:41,510
Okay, that's enough. Let's just stop
right there.
389
00:20:41,750 --> 00:20:45,370
You're not Santa Claus. I'm not a dope.
And I want out. Now!
390
00:20:45,750 --> 00:20:49,770
Hello, Sergeant whatever your name is. I
demand to be moved.
391
00:20:50,110 --> 00:20:51,610
I have my rights, you know.
392
00:20:52,220 --> 00:20:53,220
I want a new cell.
393
00:20:54,020 --> 00:20:55,020
Hello.
394
00:20:55,500 --> 00:21:00,940
Oh, my God.
395
00:21:02,780 --> 00:21:03,780
Is he sick?
396
00:21:05,460 --> 00:21:06,460
Hard to tell.
397
00:21:08,040 --> 00:21:09,400
My guess is he's faking.
398
00:21:10,260 --> 00:21:12,580
But I'll call a medic.
399
00:21:13,040 --> 00:21:16,560
Oh, wait a minute. You're not going to
leave me here alone with him, are you? I
400
00:21:16,560 --> 00:21:17,940
mean, what if he spasms or something?
401
00:21:18,200 --> 00:21:19,900
I'm really not very good with death.
402
00:21:20,720 --> 00:21:22,010
Oh. No, I'm serious.
403
00:21:22,390 --> 00:21:23,570
Hey, buddy.
404
00:21:24,590 --> 00:21:26,170
Oh, man.
405
00:21:26,510 --> 00:21:28,770
This has been some day.
406
00:21:33,610 --> 00:21:37,910
Need to get to the sleigh.
407
00:21:40,430 --> 00:21:41,430
What?
408
00:21:42,330 --> 00:21:43,330
Waiting there.
409
00:21:43,630 --> 00:21:44,670
Lincoln Park.
410
00:21:44,950 --> 00:21:46,050
Gotta get there.
411
00:21:46,630 --> 00:21:48,110
Otherwise, no good.
412
00:21:48,840 --> 00:21:50,540
Oh, man, come on. What is this?
413
00:21:51,340 --> 00:21:52,340
Okay,
414
00:21:52,980 --> 00:21:53,719
nice try.
415
00:21:53,720 --> 00:21:56,900
I know what you're trying to do. You're
trying to make me help you get out of
416
00:21:56,900 --> 00:21:59,740
here, is that it? Go to start coughing
up blood.
417
00:22:00,040 --> 00:22:04,880
Oh, no, don't do that. Kids, depending
on me, need your help.
418
00:22:06,600 --> 00:22:09,100
No, no need my help. No, no.
419
00:22:10,260 --> 00:22:11,740
Okay, okay, fine, fine.
420
00:22:21,390 --> 00:22:22,390
Cell number 38.
421
00:22:22,610 --> 00:22:24,810
What's wrong with him? You're the
paramedic. You tell me.
422
00:22:26,990 --> 00:22:27,990
My teeth.
423
00:22:29,630 --> 00:22:35,430
Anything else you want to tell me about?
Like giant spiders or flying saucers?
424
00:22:35,650 --> 00:22:38,250
No, just a bomb and a teddy bear. That's
a few minutes better. What do we got?
425
00:22:38,410 --> 00:22:41,530
We cleared the building, plus we got
fighter trucks out in front. Anything
426
00:22:42,070 --> 00:22:44,850
Yeah, my Christmas tree lights at home
ain't working.
427
00:22:45,170 --> 00:22:47,770
Get me some. A big fat guy, nothing that
skinny wants.
428
00:22:48,110 --> 00:22:49,110
Yes, sir.
429
00:22:49,420 --> 00:22:51,400
So, this is where little Bertie told you
the bomb was going to be?
430
00:22:52,300 --> 00:22:53,300
Yeah.
431
00:22:59,660 --> 00:23:00,660
Excuse me.
432
00:23:00,700 --> 00:23:02,240
Are you the detective in charge here?
433
00:23:02,500 --> 00:23:03,159
That's me.
434
00:23:03,160 --> 00:23:04,800
Do you realize what you're doing?
435
00:23:05,220 --> 00:23:07,820
You've shut down this store on the
busiest day of the year.
436
00:23:08,060 --> 00:23:12,200
So? So, the owner is very close to the
mayor.
437
00:23:13,540 --> 00:23:14,540
This time you're sure?
438
00:23:14,960 --> 00:23:16,960
Yeah. No chance you're mistaken?
439
00:23:17,200 --> 00:23:18,200
No.
440
00:23:19,360 --> 00:23:21,960
Well, be sure to get red ones. And
nothing that twinkles.
441
00:23:22,580 --> 00:23:23,580
All right, come on, boys.
442
00:23:23,720 --> 00:23:24,720
Tear them open.
443
00:23:25,080 --> 00:23:26,080
I don't believe this.
444
00:23:26,860 --> 00:23:27,860
What have you done?
445
00:23:27,920 --> 00:23:28,920
You just broke out of jail.
446
00:23:29,180 --> 00:23:30,260
I just broke out of jail?
447
00:23:30,680 --> 00:23:31,960
Me, Chuck Fishman.
448
00:23:32,240 --> 00:23:33,280
I busted Ster.
449
00:23:33,880 --> 00:23:34,880
I'm a felon.
450
00:23:35,560 --> 00:23:36,560
Relax.
451
00:23:36,740 --> 00:23:37,900
You just did something nice.
452
00:23:38,200 --> 00:23:39,200
I did?
453
00:23:39,360 --> 00:23:40,360
You got a buck?
454
00:23:40,880 --> 00:23:42,740
No, I don't have a buck. They took my
wallet.
455
00:23:43,360 --> 00:23:46,540
Oh, my God. They know who I am. What
about your pocket? You got a quarter.
456
00:23:49,610 --> 00:23:50,610
Oh, good.
457
00:23:52,510 --> 00:23:53,510
Keep up the good work.
458
00:23:53,830 --> 00:23:55,930
Oh, great. You know what? This is
insane.
459
00:23:56,550 --> 00:23:57,550
I mean, look at you.
460
00:23:57,710 --> 00:23:59,770
You don't even look like the guy.
Where's your beard?
461
00:24:00,250 --> 00:24:02,090
You're a fake, just like all the rest of
them.
462
00:24:03,530 --> 00:24:04,790
What? What's wrong? What's wrong?
463
00:24:05,270 --> 00:24:06,790
You're not believing again.
464
00:24:07,330 --> 00:24:08,330
Oh, man.
465
00:24:09,130 --> 00:24:10,130
Come on, take it back.
466
00:24:11,510 --> 00:24:15,790
Okay. Okay, fine. Fine, I take it back,
okay? I take it back. You gotta watch
467
00:24:15,790 --> 00:24:16,890
out for that kind of stuff.
468
00:24:18,190 --> 00:24:19,190
Okay.
469
00:24:19,500 --> 00:24:20,259
All right.
470
00:24:20,260 --> 00:24:21,260
Let's go.
471
00:24:22,460 --> 00:24:23,460
No bomb.
472
00:24:23,480 --> 00:24:24,620
You're sure? We're sure.
473
00:24:24,840 --> 00:24:26,160
No bomb. No bomb.
474
00:24:27,080 --> 00:24:29,120
It's too bad. Want us to start on the
elephants?
475
00:24:29,600 --> 00:24:30,499
Skip it.
476
00:24:30,500 --> 00:24:31,500
Yes, sir.
477
00:24:32,300 --> 00:24:33,300
Any thoughts?
478
00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:36,620
I don't understand. It doesn't make any
sense. It was supposed to be here.
479
00:24:37,380 --> 00:24:38,520
Maybe I can help you out.
480
00:24:38,740 --> 00:24:42,440
You see, I'm a policeman, and you're a
lunatic.
481
00:24:42,680 --> 00:24:44,180
That's why we got stuff coming out of
our hair.
482
00:24:44,440 --> 00:24:46,440
Furthermore, let me tell you. There's a
phone call for you.
483
00:24:46,920 --> 00:24:48,020
One guest, the mayor.
484
00:24:48,380 --> 00:24:49,380
Correct.
485
00:24:50,190 --> 00:24:53,630
You got three minutes to come up with an
explanation. After that, I'm putting
486
00:24:53,630 --> 00:24:54,630
you in a straitjacket.
487
00:25:00,350 --> 00:25:06,070
I don't get it.
488
00:25:47,210 --> 00:25:48,750
I got it. I'm dreaming.
489
00:25:49,070 --> 00:25:52,850
This is all because of some hot sauce I
ate. I doubt it. Any moment now, I'm
490
00:25:52,850 --> 00:25:56,730
going to wake up and find myself laying
in a gutter, drunk, which would be just
491
00:25:56,730 --> 00:25:57,730
fine with me.
492
00:25:58,730 --> 00:25:59,730
What are you doing?
493
00:25:59,930 --> 00:26:00,930
We're going to need wheels.
494
00:26:01,410 --> 00:26:02,850
You're stealing a car?
495
00:26:03,830 --> 00:26:08,630
Oh, no, no, no, no. Look, I already got
a record because of you, and I'm not
496
00:26:08,630 --> 00:26:10,590
going to add grand theft larceny to the
list.
497
00:26:10,790 --> 00:26:11,749
Fine, go.
498
00:26:11,750 --> 00:26:12,990
You betcha I'm going.
499
00:26:13,350 --> 00:26:17,980
But remember this, if I am who I say I
am, You're walking away from the one
500
00:26:17,980 --> 00:26:20,160
chance in your life to do something good
for the world.
501
00:26:20,620 --> 00:26:22,100
That means anything to you?
502
00:26:22,940 --> 00:26:23,940
Think it does?
503
00:26:26,320 --> 00:26:27,320
Okay.
504
00:26:27,640 --> 00:26:28,640
Get in.
505
00:26:29,420 --> 00:26:31,140
Thought you said we were going to the
park.
506
00:26:31,500 --> 00:26:32,500
We missed it.
507
00:26:32,680 --> 00:26:34,120
We need to meet at the next stop.
508
00:26:34,840 --> 00:26:35,840
Where's that?
509
00:26:36,440 --> 00:26:37,440
Cleveland.
510
00:26:42,400 --> 00:26:44,160
All right, let's wrap it up.
511
00:26:44,940 --> 00:26:47,560
86 to Dead Bears. Let's get out of here.
Hey, Crumb.
512
00:26:48,380 --> 00:26:50,860
Crumb, I found another note. Good for
you.
513
00:26:52,120 --> 00:26:54,100
You mean good for me. Don't you want to
read it? No, thanks.
514
00:26:55,160 --> 00:26:57,000
Well, I think you should. I think I know
what's going on now.
515
00:26:57,320 --> 00:26:58,320
Oh, that's nice. I'm thrilled.
516
00:26:58,560 --> 00:27:00,080
You're thrilled? Tell it to the new guy.
517
00:27:00,880 --> 00:27:01,880
Tell it to... Wait, wait.
518
00:27:02,040 --> 00:27:03,040
What new guy?
519
00:27:03,500 --> 00:27:05,620
The poor slob that they're going to
bring in to handle this thing.
520
00:27:05,960 --> 00:27:08,400
Me? I'm going to go home and hang
Christmas lights.
521
00:27:09,020 --> 00:27:10,600
You're going to... Wait a second.
522
00:27:11,560 --> 00:27:12,560
You're off the case?
523
00:27:12,680 --> 00:27:13,680
The mayor wants results.
524
00:27:14,380 --> 00:27:15,380
I don't got them.
525
00:27:15,640 --> 00:27:16,640
See ya.
526
00:27:18,300 --> 00:27:19,880
Whatever happened to Cabbage Patch,
Stiles?
527
00:27:20,480 --> 00:27:22,980
I had a heck with it. I need a drink.
Come on, you're buying.
528
00:27:24,940 --> 00:27:26,500
Yeah, you do and you'll clean it up.
529
00:27:27,600 --> 00:27:30,520
You okay?
530
00:27:31,100 --> 00:27:32,200
Yeah, I'm great.
531
00:27:33,300 --> 00:27:35,000
Christmas Eve.
532
00:27:35,660 --> 00:27:36,660
I'm off the case.
533
00:27:36,880 --> 00:27:37,880
Maybe out of a job.
534
00:27:38,140 --> 00:27:41,360
That's 30 years out of the forest out of
the garden. How could things be bad?
535
00:27:41,460 --> 00:27:42,760
Merry Christmas.
536
00:27:44,010 --> 00:27:47,030
Maybe you should get something to eat
with that. Like what? Christmas crow?
537
00:27:47,950 --> 00:27:51,190
Listen, you can't let this get to you.
Giving up is not the solution. Who says
538
00:27:51,190 --> 00:27:52,190
you want to spare his flight?
539
00:27:52,790 --> 00:27:54,810
Somewhere out there, there's a guy
planning on killing people.
540
00:27:55,010 --> 00:27:56,010
With what? Love notes?
541
00:27:56,270 --> 00:27:57,570
Sooner or later, he's going to succeed.
542
00:27:58,270 --> 00:27:59,270
You know what gets me?
543
00:27:59,550 --> 00:28:02,970
It's not this crummy bar or the fact
that my bunions ate, or that I staked my
544
00:28:02,970 --> 00:28:05,270
pension on a word of some nut that reads
tea leaves.
545
00:28:05,710 --> 00:28:08,450
What gets me is I'm never going to get a
chance to see this guy's face.
546
00:28:08,710 --> 00:28:10,270
I just wish I knew how he did it.
547
00:28:10,950 --> 00:28:12,070
He was watching you.
548
00:28:12,910 --> 00:28:14,760
What? Listen to what I'm saying.
549
00:28:15,420 --> 00:28:19,100
This guy knew where we were. We thought
we were following him, but we weren't.
550
00:28:19,220 --> 00:28:20,480
He was following you.
551
00:28:21,280 --> 00:28:22,280
Cat and mouse.
552
00:28:22,560 --> 00:28:23,600
And you were the mouse.
553
00:28:25,420 --> 00:28:28,340
All right, that shit, he kicked me off.
I'm gonna track this guy down if it
554
00:28:28,340 --> 00:28:29,340
takes me the rest of my life.
555
00:28:30,280 --> 00:28:31,280
Excuse me?
556
00:28:31,860 --> 00:28:32,860
Detective Crumb?
557
00:28:32,900 --> 00:28:34,600
Yes. I have a message for you.
558
00:28:37,140 --> 00:28:38,140
Nobody move!
559
00:28:43,340 --> 00:28:44,340
Nobody moved.
560
00:29:16,200 --> 00:29:18,140
Do you even know where you're going?
561
00:29:18,400 --> 00:29:19,400
The highway.
562
00:29:20,020 --> 00:29:21,480
The highway's down here?
563
00:29:21,760 --> 00:29:22,760
It's a shortcut.
564
00:29:22,980 --> 00:29:25,640
Go left at Angela Monaghan's house.
565
00:29:25,900 --> 00:29:27,440
The one with the stucco chimney.
566
00:29:28,180 --> 00:29:29,180
She's naughty.
567
00:29:29,620 --> 00:29:30,620
Nice.
568
00:29:32,280 --> 00:29:33,280
I'm Gary.
569
00:29:34,120 --> 00:29:35,120
Gary who?
570
00:29:35,440 --> 00:29:37,620
A friend of mine, Gary Hoffman.
571
00:29:38,160 --> 00:29:39,160
Know him?
572
00:29:39,220 --> 00:29:43,180
Matt. Okay. Tell me, what's different
about him?
573
00:29:43,400 --> 00:29:45,020
Different? Yeah, that's right.
574
00:29:46,890 --> 00:29:48,010
If you're Santa Claus, you should know.
575
00:29:48,790 --> 00:29:49,790
What's this?
576
00:29:50,290 --> 00:29:52,350
He's got a mole on his armpit.
577
00:29:53,250 --> 00:29:54,250
What else?
578
00:29:55,210 --> 00:29:57,730
Batted 461 in Little League.
579
00:29:59,230 --> 00:30:00,630
He gets tomorrow's paper.
580
00:30:01,590 --> 00:30:05,630
Today. I bet you meant something
unusual.
581
00:30:13,250 --> 00:30:15,790
One more screen, and I'll set this thing
off.
582
00:30:16,520 --> 00:30:19,600
Tell him I mean it. Everybody be calm.
He's not going to hurt you.
583
00:30:20,200 --> 00:30:22,240
He came here for me. That's right, isn't
it?
584
00:30:22,460 --> 00:30:23,460
You betcha.
585
00:30:23,820 --> 00:30:24,840
You want to tell me why?
586
00:30:25,340 --> 00:30:26,360
I thought we should meet.
587
00:30:27,400 --> 00:30:28,400
Fine.
588
00:30:28,540 --> 00:30:30,480
Nice to meet you. Why don't we go
outside and talk?
589
00:30:30,860 --> 00:30:33,160
You were following me.
590
00:30:33,560 --> 00:30:35,220
Of course I was following you. That's my
job.
591
00:30:35,920 --> 00:30:36,920
I knew.
592
00:30:37,680 --> 00:30:38,700
You were helping him.
593
00:30:39,080 --> 00:30:40,080
I saw you.
594
00:30:40,480 --> 00:30:41,480
Some help.
595
00:30:42,980 --> 00:30:44,640
But I fooled you, didn't I?
596
00:30:44,960 --> 00:30:45,960
I did.
597
00:30:46,590 --> 00:30:47,630
Yeah, I did.
598
00:30:48,350 --> 00:30:49,350
But we won the game.
599
00:30:50,470 --> 00:30:51,470
We won the game.
600
00:30:55,170 --> 00:30:56,170
That's right.
601
00:30:56,410 --> 00:30:57,410
That's right.
602
00:30:57,470 --> 00:30:58,490
You won the game.
603
00:30:59,470 --> 00:31:01,190
So why don't we end it right now?
604
00:31:06,510 --> 00:31:08,990
Oh, because we haven't played the last
round yet.
605
00:31:10,750 --> 00:31:12,270
The part where we all go boom.
606
00:31:15,060 --> 00:31:17,080
In, uh, 12 minutes.
607
00:31:21,620 --> 00:31:24,620
Okay, I think I've got this thing
figured out. What's that?
608
00:31:24,900 --> 00:31:25,940
What we're gonna tell the cops.
609
00:31:27,300 --> 00:31:29,620
Sorry. We plead insanity, okay?
610
00:31:30,780 --> 00:31:31,780
Well, you or me?
611
00:31:32,100 --> 00:31:33,840
We tell them you ate too many french
fries.
612
00:31:34,300 --> 00:31:35,460
You lost your mind.
613
00:31:35,700 --> 00:31:37,560
You abducted me at gunpoint, right?
614
00:31:37,800 --> 00:31:39,380
I don't approve a gun.
615
00:31:40,020 --> 00:31:41,460
Except for the toy ones.
616
00:31:41,720 --> 00:31:42,439
All right, fine.
617
00:31:42,440 --> 00:31:43,440
A toy gun.
618
00:31:43,680 --> 00:31:45,920
We call him up, and we turn ourselves
in.
619
00:31:46,700 --> 00:31:48,480
And then we sell the whole story to
Oprah.
620
00:31:49,300 --> 00:31:51,000
Holy cow, we might even end up ahead.
621
00:31:51,380 --> 00:31:52,860
I wouldn't count on it.
622
00:31:58,780 --> 00:31:59,960
This is the police.
623
00:32:00,180 --> 00:32:03,140
Shut off your engine and put your hands
on the dashboard now.
624
00:32:03,520 --> 00:32:04,379
Act natural.
625
00:32:04,380 --> 00:32:05,660
I am acting natural.
626
00:32:05,940 --> 00:32:07,660
I mean, don't act like Santa Claus.
627
00:32:08,080 --> 00:32:09,240
That's going to be hard.
628
00:32:15,960 --> 00:32:19,760
Remember, French fries, Oprah, book
deals, okay?
629
00:32:20,440 --> 00:32:21,440
Right?
630
00:32:23,200 --> 00:32:24,980
What are you doing?
631
00:32:25,200 --> 00:32:26,480
I know them both.
632
00:32:26,680 --> 00:32:28,260
Either of them is nice.
633
00:32:29,500 --> 00:32:33,180
Oh, no, I think it's going quite well.
All according to plan.
634
00:32:33,800 --> 00:32:36,640
I hope he didn't forget anything.
635
00:32:38,140 --> 00:32:40,220
You watch them.
636
00:32:40,420 --> 00:32:41,440
I'll write the note.
637
00:32:42,020 --> 00:32:43,020
Let's see.
638
00:32:43,180 --> 00:32:45,320
This guy is not even a Snickers bar.
639
00:32:45,610 --> 00:32:46,730
We gotta get him away from that bomb.
640
00:32:47,630 --> 00:32:49,750
How do you suggest we do it, Ed? Ask him
pretty please?
641
00:32:50,130 --> 00:32:51,130
Uh,
642
00:32:51,950 --> 00:32:58,270
rats, moles, bats, and weasels.
643
00:32:58,590 --> 00:32:59,590
Yeah.
644
00:32:59,790 --> 00:33:01,070
The hour has come.
645
00:33:01,510 --> 00:33:02,830
All right, that's it. You gotta rush
him.
646
00:33:03,610 --> 00:33:05,490
On the three, you ready?
647
00:33:06,150 --> 00:33:07,150
One, two.
648
00:33:07,990 --> 00:33:09,390
I told you not to move!
649
00:33:09,850 --> 00:33:10,850
I told you!
650
00:33:11,190 --> 00:33:12,190
Okay.
651
00:33:12,610 --> 00:33:13,610
I'll blow it now!
652
00:33:25,360 --> 00:33:29,040
Because you stole it. I would go give it
back. Yeah, right, and reindeer have
653
00:33:29,040 --> 00:33:30,420
wings. Only when they're published.
654
00:33:36,820 --> 00:33:39,060
Hey, you with the animal.
655
00:33:41,740 --> 00:33:43,260
I think it's time we had a talk.
656
00:33:45,980 --> 00:33:47,160
There's nothing to talk about.
657
00:33:47,820 --> 00:33:49,340
Yeah, well, I got something to talk
about.
658
00:33:53,760 --> 00:33:54,760
I'm old.
659
00:33:55,130 --> 00:33:56,130
I'm tired.
660
00:33:56,390 --> 00:33:57,570
My feet are flat.
661
00:33:58,610 --> 00:34:01,510
You want to blow me to pieces? Hey, go
ahead.
662
00:34:02,290 --> 00:34:03,790
I probably deserve it anyway.
663
00:34:04,590 --> 00:34:07,210
But before you do, think about this.
664
00:34:08,050 --> 00:34:09,230
It's Christmas Eve.
665
00:34:10,889 --> 00:34:15,290
All over the world, people are getting
ready for what I do not know.
666
00:34:16,150 --> 00:34:17,150
Neither do they.
667
00:34:17,370 --> 00:34:18,370
But it's important.
668
00:34:18,909 --> 00:34:20,230
Something worth waiting for.
669
00:34:21,130 --> 00:34:22,630
That's the same with these people here.
670
00:34:23,280 --> 00:34:25,719
They all got someplace to go. Somebody
who needs them.
671
00:34:26,219 --> 00:34:27,219
Me?
672
00:34:27,620 --> 00:34:28,620
I don't.
673
00:34:28,820 --> 00:34:30,159
So why don't you let them go?
674
00:34:31,320 --> 00:34:32,320
You don't want them.
675
00:34:32,580 --> 00:34:33,580
You want me.
676
00:34:34,480 --> 00:34:36,139
So come on. What do you say?
677
00:34:36,880 --> 00:34:38,080
Make Santa happy.
678
00:34:53,230 --> 00:34:54,350
Chuck, get the hell out of here now.
679
00:34:54,570 --> 00:34:55,570
I can't.
680
00:34:56,790 --> 00:34:58,830
Blow it now.
681
00:34:59,470 --> 00:35:01,110
Drop your guns. The guy's got a bomb.
682
00:35:01,410 --> 00:35:02,410
You heard him now.
683
00:35:04,190 --> 00:35:05,190
He's got a bomb?
684
00:35:05,830 --> 00:35:06,830
Christmas Eve?
685
00:35:07,130 --> 00:35:10,870
That's naughty if I ever heard it. Look,
please, do me a favor, hon. Just this
686
00:35:10,870 --> 00:35:11,870
once, please.
687
00:35:11,990 --> 00:35:13,090
Look, mister. Stand back.
688
00:35:13,330 --> 00:35:17,850
Look, I know you don't want to do this.
I know you really don't want to do this.
689
00:35:18,010 --> 00:35:20,050
One more step, and I'll set it off.
690
00:35:22,410 --> 00:35:23,410
Ralphie?
691
00:35:33,260 --> 00:35:34,178
It's not my name.
692
00:35:34,180 --> 00:35:39,400
You're Little Ralphie. No, I am not. I'm
Howard Phillips.
693
00:35:39,920 --> 00:35:43,840
Oh, that's right, Howard Phillips. I
always got you two confused.
694
00:35:44,620 --> 00:35:46,100
So, what are you doing here?
695
00:35:46,640 --> 00:35:48,480
Well, what does it look like I'm doing?
696
00:35:49,160 --> 00:35:50,160
Howie Phillips.
697
00:35:52,160 --> 00:35:53,960
Who is this? I don't know.
698
00:35:56,100 --> 00:35:59,440
You know, you used to be one of my
favorite kids.
699
00:36:00,220 --> 00:36:01,220
Nice.
700
00:36:03,210 --> 00:36:04,790
Very consistent. Remember?
701
00:36:05,010 --> 00:36:08,670
I got you your first chemistry set.
702
00:36:11,050 --> 00:36:15,370
Oh, you remember? It had all those
little test tubes.
703
00:36:15,610 --> 00:36:18,090
Plus, I got you a teddy bear, too.
704
00:36:19,430 --> 00:36:22,110
Then, oh, something happened.
705
00:36:22,450 --> 00:36:23,550
Oh, what was it?
706
00:36:24,190 --> 00:36:25,690
You're not really Santa.
707
00:36:26,590 --> 00:36:29,910
Oh, that's what happened. You stopped
believing.
708
00:36:31,050 --> 00:36:32,650
I remember the day.
709
00:36:32,930 --> 00:36:38,490
I was standing in a workshop, helping
the elves make my cheesy sets, when all
710
00:36:38,490 --> 00:36:39,490
a sudden I got this hurt.
711
00:36:39,670 --> 00:36:45,130
You know, ache right in my heart, like
some little piece of joy had suddenly
712
00:36:45,130 --> 00:36:46,130
withered away.
713
00:36:47,650 --> 00:36:52,870
Mrs. Claus said, it's indigestion,
honey. But I knew better.
714
00:36:53,610 --> 00:36:57,390
Someone has stopped believing, I said.
715
00:36:58,010 --> 00:36:59,210
Where's my mother?
716
00:37:02,320 --> 00:37:03,720
hurt me, you know?
717
00:37:04,080 --> 00:37:07,120
I mean, you stopped writing me.
718
00:37:07,480 --> 00:37:10,720
You stopped even thinking of me.
719
00:37:11,580 --> 00:37:12,580
Didn't you?
720
00:37:21,440 --> 00:37:24,100
Oh, can I see it?
721
00:37:25,480 --> 00:37:26,900
Well, I'll give it back.
722
00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:29,240
I promise.
723
00:38:04,640 --> 00:38:06,120
That didn't sound too good.
724
00:38:16,270 --> 00:38:17,270
Oh my God.
725
00:38:51,370 --> 00:38:52,109
Yes, sir.
726
00:38:52,110 --> 00:38:53,470
Yes, sir, that's right. We got the guy.
727
00:38:55,510 --> 00:38:57,750
The city can awake from its nightmare of
terror.
728
00:38:57,970 --> 00:38:59,050
That's very good, Your Honor.
729
00:38:59,750 --> 00:39:00,770
Merry Christmas to you, too.
730
00:39:03,690 --> 00:39:04,649
Well, congratulations.
731
00:39:04,650 --> 00:39:05,609
You're a hero.
732
00:39:05,610 --> 00:39:06,610
I owe you one.
733
00:39:06,950 --> 00:39:07,950
You, too.
734
00:39:07,990 --> 00:39:09,330
Plus that bozo who went bang.
735
00:39:10,130 --> 00:39:11,950
Well, take your stuff and get out of
here.
736
00:39:12,290 --> 00:39:15,730
Sir, he broke out of jail. You want to
explain that to a board of inquiry?
737
00:39:17,350 --> 00:39:18,350
Yeah.
738
00:39:19,470 --> 00:39:21,870
Funny thing is, Still can't believe he's
dead.
739
00:39:22,230 --> 00:39:26,750
I mean, I know he came down in pieces,
but a guy like that, he really believed
740
00:39:26,750 --> 00:39:30,070
he was what he thought he was, you know,
and you sort of have to admire that.
741
00:39:30,610 --> 00:39:31,610
You bet, yeah.
742
00:39:31,830 --> 00:39:32,729
Cynical me.
743
00:39:32,730 --> 00:39:34,210
I thought he was just a cheap con.
744
00:39:36,670 --> 00:39:37,670
My keys.
745
00:39:39,010 --> 00:39:40,190
He stole my keys.
746
00:39:53,440 --> 00:39:55,120
Your car was here an hour ago.
747
00:39:56,020 --> 00:39:57,140
Somebody must have took it.
748
00:39:59,080 --> 00:40:00,080
Yep.
749
00:40:00,200 --> 00:40:07,060
I think this is for you.
750
00:40:30,410 --> 00:40:31,410
It's magic.
751
00:40:32,170 --> 00:40:34,130
At least it is if you believe.
752
00:40:35,750 --> 00:40:39,350
Which, I guess, can happen to the best
of us.
753
00:40:45,030 --> 00:40:46,150
Merry Christmas!
754
00:40:46,430 --> 00:40:47,430
Yes, same to you.
755
00:40:48,970 --> 00:40:52,430
It all depends on being wise enough to
know your heart.
756
00:40:55,130 --> 00:40:57,930
And young enough.
757
00:40:58,730 --> 00:41:00,470
Feel that old surprise.
758
00:41:02,830 --> 00:41:08,230
I'm dreaming of a white
759
00:41:08,230 --> 00:41:14,730
Christmas With every
760
00:41:14,730 --> 00:41:18,730
Christmas card I write
761
00:41:18,730 --> 00:41:23,730
May your days
762
00:41:23,730 --> 00:41:25,970
be...
53985
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