Original subtitles

Your scientists will tell you that most human beings only use 10 % of their

brain. Wrong and wrong. Don't make me laugh, Freddy. I blow my nose with

overseas bank certificates.

Did you have to learn to be this stupid or were you just born this way?

What they don't tell you is that usually this is a very good thing. Hey, moron!

Open your eyes. Next time, I don't break.

Truth is...

You don't want to think too much.

Because if you did, you'd realize that we are all this close to catastrophe.

Disaster or heartbreak every minute of every day.

Fireflower? Oh, thanks.

Were you white? No, I don't have one. What's that?

Looks like a wedding ring. Souvenir.

Annie, are you all right? Are you all right?

Your first step before the breathing, before the chest press, is this.

Make sure that the victim is in fact unconscious.

Annie, are you all right?

The trick is to assume your life is going to work out.

Of course it never does.

So you do the next best thing.

You take it one disaster at a time.

Man, you tricked me. You promised me a pancake breakfast.

Look, just keep your pants down. I got one more errand. Oh, you and your

All right, just so you know, I want an apple pancake and real pork sausage.

And I don't want to hear any crap about that talking pig.

I won't see how you can eat sausage after seeing that movie, that's all.

hate that stupid pig. I sat in that movie, and for 93 minutes, all I could

about were sausage links and pork rinds.

There they are.

Who are those clowns?

Guys go swimming every morning.

Every morning?

They keep them healthy.

6 .30 in the morning.

November.

Freak.

I'm freezing with my jacket on.

I know.

Look at those bellies. Hey, Frank.

Frank Levinson?

Yeah. No suits?

Aren't you guys going in?

We just ate.

Look, I don't think we want to go in either. What?

Why not?

Because it's too cold. If you go in, it's not your day. Too cold?

I've been swimming every morning since the Nixon administration.

This body can take it.

Look, Frank, go see your doctor today. It's not too late. He can help you. But

I'm telling you, don't go swimming.

You don't understand.

If I don't go, there's only nine.

So what?

We need a minion.

You gotta be kidding me.

You guys are orthodox polar bears?

Yeah. You got a problem with that, smart mouth?

Frank, I know. Trust me.

Don't go in.

Please, Frank, you gotta believe me.

Fine, fine.

You win, I won't go in.

If he goes in my place.

Me? Oh, no, you've got to be kidding me. No, no, it's against my religion.

Uh -uh, I'm not going in.

Nope.

No, no, no, wait a minute. Hey, listen to me.

No, no, no.

My hair is frozen.

It hurts.

It's a block.

It'll fall.

Just get me to that shower.

And you'd better have a clean towel.

Why is it that you're the one who gets the paper and I'm the one who gets

punished every time? Every time?

Marsha, what are you doing here?

I wanted to talk to you.

Gary.

Keys.

Shower.

Freezing.

Marsha, it was a pleasure, as always.

I gotta say that for the first time today, I understand why you divorced

guy.

So you want to tell me what you're doing here?

I... I just wanted...

To find out how you were doing.

How things were.

Oh.

Doing well.

Doing good.

Yeah, doing good.

Listen, Marcia... I'm getting married, Gary.

It's why I came down here in person.

I'll tell you first.

So when did this all happen? Just happened.

It was quick.

So who is he?

No, no, no.

That's a dumb question. I shouldn't have asked.

Gary. Because I understand that we're not married anymore and you don't have

clear it up through me. And that's a dumb question. It doesn't matter.

Gary,

are you all right?

Oh, yeah.

So you're happy for me?

Oh, yeah.

So who the hell is he? I thought it didn't matter. I thought you were bigger

than that.

Are you kidding? No man is that big.

Are you all right? Yeah, he's great. He's never been better.

Another man is marrying his wife. I'm fine. He probably wants to kill himself.

just want to know who he is. You know, Marsha's right. It doesn't matter. What

matters is that now he can move on. Move on? Yeah. Gary does not know who this

guy is.

For all he knows, she could be marrying the most successful, best -looking guy

in the city with the biggest... Chuck.

Boat. The biggest boat. A yacht on Lake Michigan. It takes time, but he'll get

over it. The truth is... Not if it's a Kennedy.

He'd never get over it if it was a Kennedy.

I know I wouldn't. This is exactly what he needs.

Closure. Wrong.

What he needs is a martini and a date with a supermodel. Oh, great.

That's your answer to everything.

Ask him yourself, Gare.

Closure or a supermodel? I'll bet you two to one. Guys!

Thank you very much for all your input.

I'm fine. I'm over it. I'm good.

I don't want to talk about it.

Touchy.

He's very touchy. Very touchy. A hypothetical question.

You see how he changed the subject?

This is a man in pain.

Out of all the workers at your office, which one is most likely to flip out and

do something rash?

Harrison.

An overworked stockbroker at the firm of Strauss & Associates left to his death

from a 26 -floor window yesterday afternoon.

Co -workers say Roger Harrison had been under a great deal of stress at work.

Yesterday afternoon he typed a suicide note which read, I leave this life that

was all too much.

Tell my family.

Tributes to everyone on the staff.

Not a word to anyone who shattered a window on the 26th floor of the high

and moments later hurled himself to the street below.

Get out! Fat in every company. Your job is to find it.

Employee morale is not a factor.

It's dollars and cents, people.

Now, is there any new business?

He leaves a wife and two children.

I don't get it. The market's doing so well. No one jumps during a bull market.

What is it, Harrison?

Yesterday's internet providers?

Bolivian telephone?

Garbage. Mr. Pritchard, you said you wanted it in both days. I still have the

memo. I don't care about memos. My mother can read memos. What I care about

the small fortune you're costing me.

Quit slacking off.

I'm not here to entertain you, Bannerman.

Quit gawking and get back to work.

And, Pincus, what did I tell you about these pies, huh? What did I tell you?

Blues and browns only.

This isn't Miami.

I didn't think it was possible.

It's gotten worse.

Mr. Hobson.

Haven't seen you around in a while.

Well, I know. I haven't been here. How are you, Sam? Great. You hear about

Teledyne? Up fixed today.

I called it.

Of course, no one asks me.

I don't think I have any mail for you today.

That's strange. You haven't been getting anything for a while.

Well, I know Sam. I haven't been working here.

Right. I'll tell you what. I'll check downstairs.

Don't tell anybody, but sometimes mail gets me fired.

You have anything for me, Sam?

On your desk, Mr. Fishman. Thank you.

Go.

Hey, Rog.

Look.

Gary. How are you, Roger?

What are you doing here? Back on the job?

No, no, no, just visiting, just visiting. How is everything?

Well, trying to keep my head above water.

I've been better.

Under a lot of stress, huh?

Who isn't?

But that's why I get paid the big bucks, right?

You can't let the job ruin your life, Roger.

The job's not worth it.

No job is.

Thanks, Gary, but, uh...

I don't remember asking you for advice. Here, let me handle this.

Raj, you know what my good friend the Dalai Lama says about stress?

You know the Dalai Lama? Well, I don't know, know the Dalai Lama, but I read

book.

All right, I read an article in People magazine.

Listen, guys, I got work to do. The Dalai Lama says that a stressful life is

like a river that's been poisoned, and you got to go upstream.

And find the source of that stress in your life. And then shut it off. What

Chuck's trying to say, I think, is that you don't want to make any radical

changes or rash decisions.

Like hurling yourself out a window.

Go upstream.

Upstream.

Thanks, guys.

I mean, that really helps, what you said.

You have no idea.

No problem, Roger.

What are you doing here?

And how are you, Pritchard?

Yeah, what the hell are you up to?

I just came to visit Roger here.

Is that true?

He was just visiting, Mr. Pritchard. That's all.

Weren't looking for me?

No.

Well, this isn't a hospital, Harrison. We don't have visiting hours.

And as for you, as I recall, I fired you, Hobbs. No, actually, I quit.

Yeah, well...

It comes down to the same thing. You're here now, and I could have you arrested

for trespassing.

Fishman, do you still work here, or have I fired you yet for perpetual

tardiness? As far as I know, I'm still under your employ, sir. Good. Walk him

out. Make sure he doesn't stop until he hits the sidewalk. I was just telling

him to leave, sir.

Pops in.

And don't make an afternoon of it.

I can't believe I used to work for that jerk.

You know, I'm surprised more people haven't jumped out of that place.

Hey, well...

Some of us still have to work there, remember.

Thanks for helping me with Paris.

You, me, and the Dalai Lama.

What a team.

So what's next?

Marshal.

No, Marissa was right.

Well, that'd be a first.

What?

Close.

I'm going to go talk to Marshal. Give him my blessing. That's right.

Be a bigger man.

Oh, that's okay. I got it. I got it.

I don't believe it. I don't believe it.

It can't be.

It is.

It's... Marsh is marrying Pritchard?

What are you doing?

I'm packing.

No, you know what I mean. Pritchard.

Pritchard's the guy?

He told you. Well, I thought... Your wedding announcement.

I wasn't supposed to come out until tomorrow, Gary. I was going to tell you.

I meant to. You didn't give me a chance.

And what's going on here?

You just moved in.

Yeah, now I'm moving out.

Phil's got a bigger place.

A condo on the lake. Three bedrooms.

Pritchard.

After everything... Do you even know him?

No, Gary.

No, I just opened up the yellow pages, closed my eyes, and picked a name.

Boy, that would make a lot more sense.

Look, Gary, I know that you and Phil had problems working together.

He's a good man.

Oh, yeah. He's a real prince.

Excuse us. We just have to get the couch.

What is it that you could possibly see in him?

We're good together.

Phil and me, we fit. Our lives, our careers.

We could really make a powerhouse. My father thinks that he is... Oh, your

father, of course, of course. You buy stocks from Phil. You invest in Phil's

company. You're going to live with Phil for the rest of your life? And I love

him. Raise your hand up.

Karen, what's really bothering you here?

The man I'm going to marry or the fact that I'm getting married at all? Oh, no,

don't turn this on me. Excuse me, I hate to interrupt, but your couch is too

big. Take the door off.

Let's go find a screwdriver, Manny.

It's none of my business.

Be careful of the meridian when you pack it.

The mast is loose.

Actually, I'm not taking this with me.

What, Phil doesn't like boats?

There are some people who hate the water.

He doesn't...

You should take this.

Mr. Hobson, Chuck Fishman just called to tell you he won't be able to make it.

Oh, that's great. Thanks.

Come on, look.

Hey, if you're interested, we do have a single here.

All right, yeah.

I'll do that.

Okay.

I didn't know you played squash.

Yeah, just... Picked it up again.

Trying to keep in shape.

You know, with the wedding coming up.

Would you like to just sit or you want to keep score?

I think we should keep score.

You know, if you ever wanted to come back, we could always find a place for

Thanks, I'll think about that.

Must be strange.

You know, your boss, your ex.

One nil.

And two nil.

You know, after we're married, me and Marsha, we should all get together.

We'll have you over for dinner, me and Marsha.

Oh, you've got to see the condo.

Marsha loves the place.

Yeah, townhouse right on the lake.

Oh, the view.

You can see the whole city.

Yeah, what is that? One, two?

And three bedrooms.

Plenty of room for kids.

Are you okay?

Son of a... My nose.

You've got to learn how to control your impulse.

It was an accident.

He really broke his nose. And a concussion. Tell her about the

was an accident.

Are you sure?

What do you mean, I'm sure? What, do you think I aimed at him?

I didn't even see his fat face.

He had a whiny voice yapping behind him.

Yeah, much of this, much of that.

Condo on the lake.

Would you believe me?

Come on, Gare, haven't you ever read Freud?

There are no axes.

This was no game of squash.

This was a textbook, diverse, edible triangle.

Here we go. Two father figures in an enclosed space, fighting for the favors

the same woman.

These are maracas.

Come on, people.

Symbolism is all here.

Huh?

Well, Chuck, sometimes a rack is just a rack. Sometimes, yes.

This time, no.

Tell her it was an accident.

It was an accident. Yes. Now, if you tell her like that, with that kind of

conviction, then, then she might believe you.

I'm going to get another.

Harrison, aren't you finished yet?

Almost, Mr.

Fitzgerald. Just give me what you got.

What is this?

94 and 95, I don't want this. I need 90 through 93.

But, Mr. Pritchard, that's what you asked for. Don't give me what I asked

Give me what I need.

You're not going to leave until you're done.

90 through 93.

I lost it, Mr. P.

Just like you asked.

I feed you.

I put a roof over your head.

And you're still mad at my wife.

I'll

take

your best shot. Because as far as I'm concerned, the game's over. You win.

There's nothing else you can do to me.

You're making it up. It's right here in black and white.

Partner in brokerage firm found murdered late Tuesday night at the firm of

Strauss & Associates.

Vice President Philip Pritchard was shot dead.

The bullet -riddled corpse was discovered early the next morning by his

secretary.

Trading was suspended as grief -stricken Strauss & Associates employees spent

the day in mourning.

Based on initial evidence, police suspect a disgruntled employee is

Somebody's going to whack Richard.

I can't believe it took this long.

I don't want to do it.

Excuse me?

I don't want to say that.

You don't want to?

You, Gary Hobson, Cub Scout to the world?

There's not a reason in the world why I should.

The guy made my life miserable. He makes everybody's life miserable. Gary. He's

marrying my wife. Your ex -wife.

Ex.

Look, Gary, Gary.

I know I'm the one who usually says, okay, let this person, this angel of

do the world a favor by plugging Pritchard full of lead.

But I know you.

I know your style.

You're not going to want to see Harrison or any other staff, for that matter, go

to the chair for offering Pritchard.

You got no choice.

There's 500 chairs available.

Nothing for you today, Mr. Hobson.

What? No mail.

But... About that other thing?

This vile male.

Nothing yet, but I'm on it.

Hobson.

Richard.

Stay away from me, Hobson. Look, Richard. Wait a second. Leave me alone.

Stay away from me.

I just need to talk to you, Packard.

Leave me alone, Hobson. You need to hear this. It's important. I mean it. You're

going to get hurt.

Did you hear me?

Someone's going to kill you.

Today. Don't you threaten me in my office, Hobson.

Did I threaten him?

Well, you know, well, yeah.

I got witnesses.

Fishman, you out there? You hear this? Yes, sir. Every word.

What's this?

Shingle.

I'm getting...

Building security.

Excuse me.

Excuse me. I'm done.

Did everything I could. I give up on the guy. You did your best.

You know, I got plenty of people in here. People who deserve to be saved.

Food poisoning strikes restaurant.

Twelve hospitalized with Thelma. There's my afternoon.

You want to give him a hand, you go right ahead. But I'm through. I'm

If I never see Phil Pritchard again, it'll be too soon.

The public is not allowed back here. This is my kitchen.

Out! I'm telling you, your chicken's bad. You can't serve it.

You do not tell Henri what you serve.

There's nothing wrong with my chicken.

My chicken is good chicken.

Robust chicken. Well, if someone left your chicken out, you're going to give

these people salmonella.

Michel, was the chicken left out today?

There you go. Now you excuse me. I have got your pill house.

Well, I'll message you the prospectus over this afternoon.

Just look at it. Oh, it sounds perfect.

You know, our company specializes in high -tech companies, so it might be a

match.

Squash accident.

Oh, Dad, I didn't even notice.

Well, I'm not looking for any special favors.

Just know that if you turn me down, the wedding's off.

Dad, no business.

No, it's okay, honey, I don't mind.

Your father and I have a lot to talk about.

Now, what do you think of the escargot?

He's lying.

He left the chicken out and he doesn't want you to fire him. Are you from the

Department of Health?

Well, no, I'm not from the Department. Then you leave.

Or would you like Michelle to show you the door?

Please. Just look at the chicken. Too late.

It's gone.

Here's to my beautiful fiancée.

And her amazing parents who have raised such a wonderful kid.

I like that. What are you doing?

Today, my life is complete.

And I feel truly blessed.

That's what friends do, Chuck. They bail each other out. I know, Gary. I'm

sorry. It's just that I'm not liquid right now. It's a temporary thing.

Temporary? How temporary?

A week. A week?

I tried to tell them it was your first public disturbance offense, but they

wouldn't budge.

Gary Hobson, you may bail.

It's over.

My engagement.

Canceled. Phil called the whole thing off.

Look, Marsha, I'm sorry. What are you apologizing for? It's not your fault.

it is.

It's my fault.

Phil told me that he didn't want to get married if it meant that he had to spend

the rest of his life looking over his shoulder.

Thank you very much.

He's scared of you, Barry.

It's so impulsive, I'm telling you.

Look, Marsha, I didn't mean to hurt the guy. It was a squash court. It's a game.

In that restaurant, I'm telling you. Are we in that restaurant again, Gary? I

don't know what you were doing there.

But I know you, Gary. You would never do anything to hurt anybody. No, I

wouldn't. No, you wouldn't.

Go talk to Phil.

Marsha, I don't think the guy wants to see me. You owe me.

I just bailed you out.

Good work.

Let him know that you're not going to try and come after me.

He's a mess, Gary.

It's kind of late. You should be getting home, huh?

Take it to Pritchard.

He keeps me here until 10 o 'clock every night.

Half of this stuff he never even reads.

Where is he? Is he here?

You know, one of these days, someone should really teach him to treat his

employees as human beings.

Roger.

Maybe you should go home and get some rest before something happens.

You heard I'm quitting?

Wow.

No secrets in this place.

You're quitting?

Yeah.

I'm giving my notice tomorrow.

You know what convinced me?

It was your friend Fishman.

Chuck? He was right.

I found the source of my stress.

This job.

I'm not cut out for it.

I'm going to go get a job in a bookstore.

I like books.

So you're not planning on hurting Pritchard?

You kidding?

Pritchard's not worth it.

I mean, you know what the Dalai Lama says?

All enemies are bound by the mastery of mind.

Where is he? Where is Pritchard?

I think I saw him head down to the parking lot.

Please don't do this.

Oh, I see.

Suddenly it's please and it's thank you. Now you're Mr.

Polite. Well, now it's too late. Help me! Somebody!

Whatever you want, Sam. It's yours. Just name it. Anything.

I want you to die.

Uh -huh.

Anything else?

Hey, Sam.

Oh, Hobson.

I don't believe this.

Hi, Mr. Hobson.

I hope you're not here about your mail.

Hey, Sam.

What are you doing?

What does it look like? He's going to kill me.

We're just having a little chat.

Sorry, it's kind of private.

Don't let him hurt me.

Just try and stay calm, would you? I'm not talking to you. Don't let Hobson

me.

Hey, Sam.

Why don't you let him go, huh?

Can't do it.

Can I make the picture?

Can't do it.

You know, every week I put in for a promotion.

Every week.

All I want to do is trade stocks.

Well, Sammy.

You got to work your way up. I've been in the mailroom for nine years.

Really? You know what I do in my spare time?

I buy and sell stocks.

On paper, no money.

But I keep track. I made $75 ,000 alone this month.

On paper.

What? I never knew. I had no idea.

That's right. You have no idea.

You have no clue.

And I'm still in the mail room.

That's my life.

When's the last time you didn't get your Wall Street Journal?

I don't know.

He doesn't know.

Never!

Always get your journal, every day, even on Thursdays when I wash your car, even

on Mondays when I get your cleaning.

So when's it my turn, Mr. Pritchard?

When's my shot?

You see, don't you? That's why I gotta kill him.

Hey, Sam.

Why don't you give me the gun?

What?

Well, I'm not saying you gotta let him go.

I'm just saying, give me the gun, huh?

Look, if anybody should settle a score with this guy, it should be me.

Why?

I worked for this guy two years.

Every single day, he let me know what a lousy job I'm doing.

Then my wife leaves me. I'm having a hard time.

Pritchard here threatens to fire me!

So I quit.

Then the day before yesterday, you know what I find out?

My ex -wife is remarrying.

Guess who she's marrying?

You're right. You should shoot him.

No, don't do it. It's a trick. He's crazy. He's a lunatic.

You haven't listened to two years of that.

That's verbal abuse.

I'm tired.

Look, Sam.

Why don't you take a break?

I mean, I'm sure your job will be here when you get back.

Won't it, Pritchard? Right, whatever you want. Take a week, take a month. Paid

vacation.

I could take some classes.

Maybe get my broker's license.

I don't see why not. I'm sure Strauss & Associates, they'd pick up the bill,

wouldn't they? Yeah, whatever you say.

Hey, Sam.

Get some rest.

Hey, Sam.

Don't worry about the mail.

Oh,

leave me alone, Hobson.

I promise.

I promise I'm not going to marry Marsha. I'll never speak to her again. Wrong

answer, Pritchard.

You're going to get on with your life, and I'm going to get on with mine. But

you will marry Marsha.

I will?

You're going to promise me you're going to marry Marsha, or I'm going to plug

you full of holes. I promise I'll marry her.

Now, can you untie me? And you're going to treat her well.

Promise. I will. I promise. And every day, you're going to tell yourself

the luckiest man alive, because you don't deserve it.

And she's far too good for you.

Say it. I'm the luckiest man alive and I don't deserve her.

All right.

Thank you.

You can help me up, please.

I can just go?

Come on.

Hey, Pritchard, one more thing.

Maybe you should treat your employees with a little bit more respect, huh?

Don't you push it, Hobson.

I don't need you to tell me how to run a business.

That stupid mailroom kid, he was just a bad apple.

My employees love me.

My good friend the Dalai Lama says that a wise man never feels out of place.

Of course, the Dalai Lama never went to his ex -wife's wedding.

So proud.

You know, I think I might cry.

Me too.

No, she's a little late.

Or she's never late.

People will surprise you.

Every single time. They will.

They're like the weather that way.

They'll change on you.

Give you no warning whatsoever.

She wasn't right for me. She was getting into it for all the wrong reasons. I

should have seen it coming.

You never see it coming.

Still, I guess it's better I find out now rather than three or four years down

the road.

Oh, absolutely.

In a way, I'm better off.

Not as invested.

That's right.

You get to move on.

You get closure.

I envy you, though.

You had the three or four years.

Did you ever see her dance?

What?

Lots of times.

Did she ever take you to that salsa joint?

Yeah, once.

Couldn't keep up with her. I wrenched my back.

Twisted my knee.

I really did love her.

But even the experts can't predict the weather.

Ask three different experts, you get three different weather reports.

That's why you got to give people the benefit of the doubt.

Because no one, not even a guy who gets tomorrow's paper, knows everything

that's going to happen tomorrow.

How's this for a card?

Elizabeth Shue, Jill Hennessy, and Lucy Liu.

A medical miracle is going to change one autistic woman's life.

Molly, this lunchtime at 1 o 'clock, after another early edition in just a

moment.