Original subtitles

I can't believe you said that. Okay, no, wait. Denise, hold on.

For everyone out there in America right now who may not know this, the three

people that may not know this, you have a nationally syndicated radio talk show,

right? Yeah, in 35 major markets. But, you know, who's counting? And you just

throw it out there that you are desperately searching for your birth

desperate.

Desperate, but... How about pathetic?

Pathetic is good.

Okay, wait a minute. Let me get this straight. Anybody who knew her, knew

she gave you up for adoption, could just show up on her doorstep, right?

Yeah, and your point is what? What about her right to privacy?

Well, what about my right to know?

Hello?

How did you find me?

Why can't you leave me alone?

Let the past stay in the past.

Yes, I heard you.

Okay, Denise, what about this? What if you find out that your birth mother

nothing to do with you?

All right, wait, let me see if I understand this. She wants nothing,

Nothing at all, nothing at all. The daughter that she gave up at birth?

She wants nothing to do with her.

Well, then I would have to kill her.

What do you want me to do?

I'm serious.

Well, so am I. Oh, please. This from a woman who is never serious. I mean,

chocolate.

I just don't think I would have any other choice. I would have to track her

and kill her.

And then you'll leave me alone?

Hey, Mark.

Yo. Hey, I'm glad I caught you.

Which one of these jackets make me look more like a doctor?

This one.

Oh, hey.

Which one of these make me look more mature?

I've got to be somewhere in 20 minutes. With this traffic, I'm not likely to get

out of the garage by then. Yeah, me too. You know, I've got to go pick up my mom

at the airport in an hour.

Your mom?

You must be thrilled she's coming to see you.

Hey, getting back to the jacket's just... Off the top of your head. I

should wear the one you like the best.

And Jesse, trust me.

Oh, thanks a lot.

You know, Jesse, I don't think your mother's going to care what you wear.

going to be so happy to see you. You don't know my mom. She can be very

opinionated. She's a little bossy, and she gets what she wants by being really,

really nice.

Oh, how terrible.

Wear the blue one.

Yeah. I'm late.

Remember, just because I'm conservative people doesn't mean I am not a sexy,

sexy, girly thing.

Oh, baby.

Come on, baby. Lucas just walked into the studio.

My doctor and our guest for the next hour, Dr. Mark Sloan.

Before we go to commercial, I just want to put out one last plea for information

on... The search.

for Denise Steiner's mom.

If you gave birth to me, give me a call here, will you? 1 -800 -555 -BABY. And

now, here's a word from the people who helped me pay my exorbitant rent.

I am late. I'm afraid you weren't going to show up.

Hey!

Hello, hello, both of you. Steve, this is fabulous.

Mondo, we need another set of headphones.

Oh, no, no, no. I'm just here for the moral support of my father.

But look at you. You look great. Oh, big compliment. The last time you saw me, I

was 12 and I had braces.

I'm so happy for you. Look at this. You're out in L .A. You got your own

show. We're back in 10.

Oh, okay. Why don't you guys take a seat, be comfortable.

We'll start.

Don't forget your headsets, guys.

Okay, we are back with the handsome and debonair Dr.

Mark Sloan, who has worked with the LAPD in catching many dastardly criminals,

right? So tell our loyal listeners, how did you get involved in murder and

mayhem? Well, Denise, as you know, my son's a homicide detective.

Yes, I do know that. And gorgeous, I might add. In fact, I'm seriously

about committing a crime just so he'll handcuff me.

So tell me, what is your secret? How do you go about catching a criminal?

Well, you know, solving a crime is very much like making a medical diagnosis.

You look for evidence, of course, and you try to put all the clues together.

And then you go through the process of sorting out things that don't seem to

fit.

And if you're lucky, you've got yourself a disease or a murder.

Wow. I usually rely on dating to do that.

Before we get into your mostly imaginary love life... Hey. There's a call on

line three. She says she's your mother.

Oh, wow. This ought to be good.

Yes, you were on the air with Denise. I was abandoned as an infant's diner.

Denise? Yes, you have 30 seconds to convince me you're my mom. Ready? Go.

much i want to tell you oh sorry you lose okay let's get back to chatting

dr sloan

was the one person who not only knew who Elise ate, but that she was allergic to

peanuts. And that narrowed the list of suspects down to one person, her sister.

Well, I guess sometimes it pays to be an only child, huh?

Oh, Jen is telling me to wrap it up. We've run out of time.

Dr. Sloan, you are fantastic.

Promise me you'll come back.

Well... You heard him, folks.

Thank you for listening. I am Denise Steiner. This is my show, and don't you

forget it, because I am... Denise Steiner, the mouth.

that roared.

And we're out.

Doctor, you were great. Nice meeting you. You too, Mundo.

I meant what I said. You were fantastic.

You make anybody look great. Well, thank you for doing the show.

You know, I'm curious about one thing.

Yeah. You know that lady who called us that she was your mother?

Oh, yeah. The 175th I'm Denise's mom call.

How did you know she was a phony?

Oh, I don't know. Just a feeling.

Explain it to him, Steve.

Well, I have no idea. You didn't let her get two words out.

She just wanted her 15 minutes of fame. I promise you I will send her a I'm

Denise's mom T -shirt and she'll be a big celebrity in her geriatrics yoga

class.

Dr. Sloan? Hi.

Stephanie Miller. You probably recognize me from any one of my failed TV shows.

Yes, I think so.

I just heard you on Denise's show. You were great. Thank you. You know, I come

on right after, Denise. Back off.

He's mine.

Follow me, gentlemen.

Fake nature.

That woman gets on my last little note.

Hey, hey, hey.

Hey.

You got a fax from that fakey mother caller, Joanne Lombardi? No, send it to

legal. Now, you might want to take a look at this.

So, the truth?

Well, well.

The part about the birthmark is true, and I did have a heart valve problem.

It was corrected when I was two, but I had it when I was born.

It's kind of weird, isn't it?

I mean, how would she know about something like that?

Unless she really is your mom.

Please, get real. I mean, there's just someone who knows I have a birthmark and

a heart valve problem when I was born. I mean, there must be hundreds of people

who... Know the two things I've never told anybody before in my life.

You've never told anybody?

Oh, well, except for you, of course, and Ricky Hawkins, my fifth -grade

boyfriend. Have you been talking, Mondo? No.

I mean, except for that small little tiny ad I placed in the L .A. magazine.

So are you going to go and see her?

Jesse never once told me what a fantastic hospital this is. I mean,

am so impressed. Well, thank you. We're proud of it.

What you people are doing here, it's like you're a field surgeon. You know,

you're getting in there and you're saving people's lives.

You know, I never thought of it that way, but I think you're right. Well, of

course, you know, my own practice is in a private hospital.

You earn a lot more money, but you don't get anywhere near the challenging

cases.

Challenging is exactly how I would describe it.

Challenging and rewarding.

Well, I'm sure you've got good pension plans and vacation time. Oh, yes, of

course. At St. Paul Memorial, they make us take six weeks off a year.

Six weeks? They make you?

Or they fine us.

Isn't that silly? I really wouldn't know what to do with six weeks off. No, me

neither. Oh, trust me, it gets old fast. I mean, going to the opera, taking

trips to Europe, writing those articles for the AMA Journal.

It gets old fast.

Exactly.

Yeah? I'm looking for Joanne Lombardi.

Oh, my God, Denise?

It's you. Oh, wait.

I can't believe it.

Oh, let me look at you.

Oh, my gosh. I can't believe it's really you.

Can I come in?

Oh, yes.

I was 16, still in high school.

I was so afraid.

It was different back then.

I guess.

I made this for you when I was pregnant.

And then I couldn't give it to you because I was so ashamed.

Oh, no, please don't.

They told me you were going with a good family.

I was. I did.

It's the only thing that kept me from the awful pain of thinking I'd never see

you.

You did the right thing.

Yeah. Yeah.

You want a cup of tea?

Yeah.

Okay, that would be nice.

I have a lot of catching up to do.

her like a bazillion questions, and she's answering every single one of

She answers for all of them, and I'm sitting there, and I am talking to her,

I'm thinking, oh, my God, you have my nose.

Do my ears deceive me, the cynical Denise Steiner sentiment?

Excuse me. I am part human.

Okay? Let's take a call.

And it is Tara. You are on the Denise Steiner show.

I had a package delivered to your studio. Did you get it?

A package?

Honey, I get a hundred packages a day. All right.

I get maybe one or two. Okay, I don't get any. What? I sent it overnight,

personal.

Okay, I'll look.

Um, uh, ah, well, here it is. Is this it? Yes, it's addressed to me, Denise

Diner. Open it.

You know, before I do, I feel obligated, uh, Tara, to ask you a question.

Are you in any way related to...

Open the package.

Okay.

Excuse me. In case you missed it, this is the Denise Steiner show, not the

Woman Caller show.

I decide what I do and what I don't do, okay?

Hello? Hello?

She hung up.

She actually hung up just as I was going to bucket her. You know what? I'm going

to do it anyway.

This is for you, Tara.

And we'll be right back after this.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, we're not supposed to be a commercial.

Don't ask me.

Find the news from outer space to run if she's not back by the end of the

commercial.

Hey, yo, Denise.

Joanne?

Jen called me. Everybody's worried about you. You all right?

Yeah, yeah, fine. I just, you know, had a one -day flu.

Caught the radio show.

Met your birth mother.

Yeah.

Would this one -day flu have anything to do with that?

Someone sent me this.

She sold me.

I was just merchandised.

All that talk about how she didn't want to give me up and her pain was just...

Well, these are just newspaper articles.

About buying babies.

Well, nothing about you or her.

Oh, look. Look at this note.

One of these babies was you. Ask her. She'll tell you.

Now, anyone could have written this.

Did you talk to her about it?

No.

What about your adoptive mother? Talk to her?

Please, I haven't talked to her in three years.

Look,

I have to get dressed. I have to go to work.

Honey, I'm not sure you're in any shape to go to work.

I have to.

I'll call you later, I promise.

All right. Okay.

We'll give you a ride.

That would be great.

Thank you.

Let's try this one more time.

First, you said the woman had short, dark brown hair, and now you're saying

was long.

I don't like the way these girls cut their hair these days, do you?

I mean, I think a woman's hair is her crowning glory.

Why chop it all off?

Her hair should be long.

Yes, well, you are certainly entitled to your opinion, but I need to know what

the woman's hair looked like in reality.

Can you tell me that?

It should be long.

All right, look, maybe we should just give this a rest.

I'll drive you home. We can try it again tomorrow.

Oh, I'd love to, but I have to be home by two for the guiding light.

I used to be in pictures, you know.

That doesn't surprise me.

So today's topic will be people we'd rather see dead.

Well, I'll warn legal. We're bound to get sued.

I never forget a face. Anyone will tell you that. Oh, sometimes I forget

someone's name. Someone I've known 40 years, but a face.

Oh, my goodness, there she is.

The girl who ran away. Over there at the bus stop.

Are you sure?

That's her, all right. I'd know her anywhere.

The one with the baby?

No, that's her on the sign. On the sign.

I know that you were all expecting my very own honest -to -goodness birth

to be on the show today. I'll be there, my pretty, and my little dog, too. Yeah,

well, that's not going to happen because it's not a cold day in Haiti. Can I say

that on the air, Jen? Hades?

Because that's where my very own honest -to -goodness birth mother appears to

be. Did she take her kidney with her? Well, she promised to meet me at the

studio today, but just like that other oh -so -important time in my life, you

know, the time of my birth,

She seems to have taken a powder, ladies and gentlemen.

So, I'm going to ask you all a question. Have you ever come to the conclusion

that someone near and dear to your heart is just, I don't know, better off dead?

You're not taking me alive, Warden.

And now we're going to go to commercial.

Steve?

I'm sorry, Denise, but I'm here to arrest you for the murder of Joanne

Mondo, will you finish up the show for me?

You know, when Jesse said that he was investing in a barbecue place, I thought

he was talking about some big old restaurant, you know, part of the chain.

Well, it is sort of small, but the ribs are delicious.

Mm -hmm.

Well, what do you call the decor here?

Primitive? Mrs. Trouters, Jesse's accomplished an awful lot.

Oh, I know. I'm really very proud of him.

In fact, I was going to wait, but what the heck. I'm going to follow my son's

example and throw caution to the wind here.

Attention!

I would like to propose a toast to my son, Jesse.

who left the family fold and forged a wonderful life for himself in a strange

new land.

To Jesse.

Thanks,

Mom. I'm touched.

And I also want to make an announcement.

Now, I was going to talk to you about this alone, but seeing you here,

surrounded by all these wonderful people who love you, well, I wanted you all to

know. that I am offering Jesse a full partnership in my practice back in

Minneapolis, St. Paul.

Now, don't forget, that also includes a six -week paid vacation every year.

Now, of course, I don't expect an answer right away, but I am certainly hoping

that when I get back on that plane to Minnesota, my wonderful, accomplished

will be coming with me. So, a toast to the future.

Welcome to the future.

All right, this doesn't have to be all bad. I could do a remote broadcast from

jail. Think of the ratings.

They aren't going to let you back on the air until after you've cleared your

name.

They're going to give Stephanie Miller my time slot, aren't they? They wanted

to. My life is over.

But I convinced them to let Mark Sloan fill in just for a couple weeks.

You did?

You're a goddess.

That's known.

Denise, I have to ask.

I didn't kill her.

I didn't. So why did you run? Why didn't you call the police? I don't know. I

don't know what I was thinking. All I know is that I said on national

that I would kill her, and then there she was, dead.

I didn't know what else to do. I just ran, and then I thought if I said I

seen her, who would know?

You help Mark with my show?

He's a natural.

Good afternoon.

You're on the air with... Not on the air.

What?

I'm sorry.

Hello,

I'm Wayman. I think I disconnected the call.

That's a record. Eight in a row.

Hello,

Dr. Sloan?

Hello? Am I on the air? You're on the air. Oh, can you hear me? Yes.

We're out of time.

But be sure and tune in tomorrow.

It's the Stephanie Miller Show.

This has been the Denise Steiner Show.

The mouth that rolls.

That's a wrap.

Good show, Mark.

It was a disaster.

Hey, don't worry.

Everybody has an off day once in a while.

Well, there is some good news.

The station agreed to post Denise's bail.

So, yeah, they just called me while you guys were on the air. Oh, that's great.

You know, I was just wondering, do they tape these incoming calls?

No, we tape over them.

Well, not for a week.

Why? Well, you remember those newspaper articles sent in by that caller?

Yes. Well, forensics reported that only my fingerprints and Denise's

fingerprints were on there.

You know Denise.

She's got a million nutball fans.

Conspiracy wackos who believe they're being monitored by black helicopters.

Yeah, they probably wear gloves 24 -7.

Yeah, I suppose that's true.

But you know, it could be a frame.

A frame?

Well, you know, they never thought of a murder weapon.

Yeah, but lots of people get convicted without a murder weapon.

Yeah, that usually depends on the strength of the circumstantial evidence,

though.

What I was thinking is... Maybe I could listen to those tapes. I could find

something in there that'd help Denise.

Well, I'll find it for you.

Now, I'm going to take off.

I promised Denise that I'd drop by some books and stuff from her place.

Catch you later. Catch you tomorrow.

Um, Mondo and Denise are good friends, aren't they?

Yeah, they used to date.

Denise met him at a station in El Paso. She's actually the one who brought him

here. No kidding.

You know, sometimes I just wish they would get back together because they are

much nicer than the losers they each go out with.

Oh,

tapes. Yeah, I'll get them for you. Thank you, Jen.

What kind of witch?

Did we murder for the homicide of her birth mother, Joanne Lombardi? How did

they get this stuff out so fast?

I do not know.

I should have Lombardi's autopsy finished by early afternoon.

Great. You know, her brother's requesting that we ship her body to

Texas? That's where she's from, El Paso.

Hey, Dad, got your page.

Hey, man. Oh, Steve, good.

Had the tape analyzed.

What tape?

You remember the woman called us at the newspaper articles to Denise?

Yeah. Had a sound man run through it.

Guess what he found?

Nothing.

Nothing. I mean, no stray noises, no ambient sound of any kind.

You think the call came from a sound studio somewhere? I think it could have

been from a radio station, which would narrow down the list of suspects.

Yeah, possibly the women that work at the station.

If she was framed.

I think that this tape, combined with the fact that there were no fingerprints

on any of those newspaper articles, is a pretty good case.

Dad, we found a murder weapon.

In Denise Steiner's house.

A White House letter opener.

Which would be consistent with the size and shape of the wound.

Denise's initials were on it, and the luminol turned up micro -traces of the

victim's blood.

Why would she hold on to the one piece of evidence that could send her to jail?

Wouldn't be the first time someone held on to incriminating evidence.

You know, I tell a couple of people there's no murder weapon, and suddenly

magically appears.

Strike you a little convenient?

Coincidental, but not relevant.

Well, does this sound relevant to you, that one of the suspects is from El

Texas? The victim was from? Dad, lots of people are from El Paso. I mean, Denise

lived there herself for a while.

Oh.

I'm sorry, Dad. I want to believe her, too.

Call me when you get the autopsy report?

Yes. See you.

Where were we going?

Staff meeting, fourth floor.

Jesse?

You all right?

Yeah, yeah. I was just waiting to talk to Mark.

Oh, he just left.

What? Yeah, he went to do the Denise Steiner show, but he'll be back in the

morning. That's great, except I have to give my mom an answer tonight.

Why don't you call down to the radio station?

That's a good idea. Air my dirty laundry in front of thousands of strangers.

It was just a suggestion.

Look, I really don't know what to tell you.

I'll see you tomorrow.

Our topic for today is this.

If there's one thing you did in the past that you could go back and change, what

would it be? I should have never kept those gifts because I am not a crook.

And we have Billy Bob from Dallas.

Hello, you're on the air with Dr. Sloan.

Yes, hi there, sir.

You know, I wouldn't change anything about my past, but I do have a question

about the future.

All right.

You see, my mama, she owned. a big old cattle ranch in Oklahoma.

Dr. Travis to radiology. Dr.

Travis to radiology.

Uh, do I know you?

No.

Anyway, you see, uh, she wants me to come on back there and help her run it.

-hmm, and what do you want to do?

Well, see, I don't want to disappoint her, and I don't want to hurt her

feelings, and I certainly don't want to move back to Oklahoma neither.

I understand.

So, um, what should I do?

Well, of course, that's your decision to make, Billy Bob.

But I can tell you this. If you do something that's not right for you...

regret it, sweetheart.

Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but someday soon.

And you'll regret it for the rest of your life.

Jesse?

I gotta go.

Who was that?

Nobody.

Look at the time.

So, you're not coming back to Minnesota with me, are you?

How'd you know?

I heard you on the radio. A cattle ranch?

You knew that was me?

I just wish you had come out and told me. Instead of broadcasting it to half a

million strangers.

Okay, look, Mom.

I have got a cab waiting.

I'm on my way to the airport.

Ma 'am, an appendectomy is something that definitely should be done by your

physician. Don't!

Thank you.

And that's it for... The Denise Steiner Show.

The Mouth That Roars.

Good show, everybody. And I mean it this time.

Hey, I'll see you tomorrow.

Hi!

Great show.

I was kind of wondering, are you going to be doing this on kind of a, you know,

permanent basis?

Because I'm... You can forget the time slot, Stephanie. Denise is coming back.

Oh. That's good news, then.

Mondo, all those voices you do are great.

Your family back in El Paso must be very proud of you.

My family's in Guadalajara, man.

Mexico. Oh, I was looking at your bio in the manager's office and I thought that

said El Paso. Well, born in El Paso, but raised in Guadalajara.

Oh, I see.

I'll see you.

Mondo. You remember that tape Jen gave me?

The nasty woman got away. Yeah, that's the one.

It looks like that call was made from a sound studio.

And I was just thinking, isn't there an empty sound studio around here

somewhere?

Yeah. Yeah, there's one.

Follow me. Good.

See, sometimes they store stuff in here, but that's about it.

Well, I suppose one of the women who works here could have slipped in here

made the phone call.

But who?

And what would be the motive?

Well, you know, people have their little resentments, you know.

Like what?

Oh, man, this is hard. These people are like family to me.

Oh, sure, I understand.

But, you know, somebody's trying to frame Denise.

It could be anyone from the studio.

The receptionist.

Who knows?

Anybody could have slipped in here and made that phone call. Yeah.

You know, there is one little problem.

There's no phone in here.

Sloan. Oh, that's great news.

Yeah, I'll meet you at the hospital.

Denise is out on bail. Oh, great, great.

Somebody could use a cell phone in here.

Yeah.

Do you have a cell phone by any chance?

Yeah. Doesn't everybody?

Yeah, I guess you're right. Everybody does.

Okay. Thanks a lot, Mondo. All right.

Good to see you. You all right?

Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just, you know, thrilled to be out of there.

So, my lawyer tells me they have a bogus case against me, yes?

No, they've got a pretty solid case.

But I have a hunch that might help us. What?

Can you think of any reason that Mondo would want to kill Joanne?

Mondo?

No.

My God, I mean, Joanne was my mother. He knows how much I wanted to find her. He

would never do something like that.

He...

He loved me. He asked me to marry him.

Oh. You turned him down.

Excuse me, Mark. I need to talk to you about the autopsy.

Amanda, this is Denise Steiner.

Denise, this is Dr. Amanda Bentley.

Hi. Hi.

Joanne Lombardi's autopsy.

Yes, Denise, I'm terribly sorry, but Joanne Lombardi was not your mother.

In fact, she wasn't anybody's mother. She's never given birth.

And my guess is Mondo knew that the whole time.

Hello?

Yeah, Dad. I talked to my buddy at INS. You were right.

Yeah? Mondo Arriaga's family was deported from El Paso, Texas, back to

Mrs. Arriaga, his mother, died there. You want to take a guess at who turned

in?

Joanne Lombardi.

Yeah.

I was afraid of that. There was more.

When she turned in the Arriaca family, she also reported almost a hundred

undocumented workers.

A hundred?

She was working for a man running for state representative.

Got him elected.

Apparently, a lot of people swear they get even with her. My guess is that's

she eventually left the state.

I see.

Thanks, Steve.

I'm afraid to respond, though.

Oh, no.

15th birthday, I had a fight with my mom, my real mom, the one who raised me.

I told her she wasn't my mom.

I yelled at her, and then I ran out the door before I even blew out the candles

in my cake.

I can see how that could happen.

She said she got over it.

We never really did, either one of us.

I never celebrated another birthday with her again. It was just too painful.

Well, then I met Joanne Lombardi, and there I am thinking, she's the one.

the real one. She's got my nose.

I mean, she's a complete stranger, yet I am convinced that, I don't know, blood

is thicker than chicken soup, I guess.

You see, we believe what we want to believe.

Well, I can't help thinking if I hadn't made such a big deal out of finding my

birth mother advertised on national radio, maybe Joanne Lombardi would be

today. Honey, you didn't kill her.

Maybe I helped.

Why don't you get some sleep?

I've got to get home to my kid.

And thank you for the tea.

Denise, you might think about calling your mom and telling her what you just

told me.

Good night.

Good night.

This is Jesse. Could you pick up, Mom?

Okay.

Look, I'm sorry that you left without giving us a chance to talk.

I'm sure you're disappointed.

But I just wanted you to know that I love you and that I am going to

stay here in L .A. This is where my career is. My life is here.

But I do love you, and I guess how you feel about me is up to you.

Okay.

Bye.

I hope we've been some help with your problem. Anyone else out there that has

any information on male -patterned baldness, give us a call. And we'll be

right after this.

Listen, I just got this audition for this huge national spot, but they need

see me like five minutes ago. I know it's an imposition, but... No, go.

Twenty minutes left on the show. Be fine.

All right. You're the greatest, Doc. Jed, see you.

Mando, I loved your audition tape, baby.

Hey, thanks, man. Yeah, the commercial's animated, so we want to play around

with a bunch of different voices. Okay with you?

Cool, babe. That's what I do.

All right, good.

Let's start with an accent.

Maybe like Hispanic or whatever. Okay with you, babe?

Just open the package and smell the mighty aroma.

That's great.

Let's try... This is wild. If you can't do it, don't worry about it. But how

about... How about same accent, only this time we're a female?

Just open the package and smell the mighty aroma.

Oh, that's fantastic. Really good. How about Dame Boy, no accent?

You know, no accent always, they say.

Just open the package and smell the mighty aroma.

Hmm. How about with a little edge of anger?

Just open the package and smell the mighty aroma.

All right, more anger.

Just open the package and smell the mighty aroma.

Hey, I think that's the one.

Let's play it back.

Just open the package and smell the mighty aroma.

You know, I think we have that voice already on tape.

Just open the package.

We got it from the radio station.

You pretty nearly carried it off.

I don't know what you're talking about.

We're talking about a kid who blamed Joanne Lombardi for the death of his

mother.

You've always thought she wouldn't have died if she hadn't gone back, haven't

you? This is crazy.

So you tracked her down and started threatening her?

No, no.

At the same time, the woman you loved dumped you, and you just had to get

Then you came up with your brilliant plan. If you could just get Joanne to

impersonate Denise's mother, you could kill two birds with one stone.

Joanne went along with it just to get you to leave her alone.

She had no way of knowing you were going to kill her.

How could you do that, Mondo?

I wanted you.

I loved you.

All right, let's go.

You got the right to repeat, sir.

The Denise Steiner Show.

The mouth.

that roll. This is Denise Steiner, and I am out of the slammer, and I could not

be happier to be back on the air, being abused by my callers, of course, after

my cushy stay at the county rest home, and of course, I am here with my dear,

sweet Dr. Mark Sloan. Who is more than happy to turn the microphone back over

you where it belongs.

Thank you.

Yo, Bones, got a call for you, line two.

Bones, that's me.

Well, hello, you're on the air with Dr. Mark Sloan. Uh, Dr. Sloan.

I want to thank you for a call you took the other day with my son.

What you said to him about living his own life.

Well, after that call, he stood up for himself.

To me.

Maybe for the first time.

I want to tell him I'm proud of him.

And I love him, too.

That is so sweet. That is so sweet. And you all know what I think of sentimental

claptrap.

Man,

I am gone a week. I was only gone a week, and the Saffron Squad takes over.

Oh, speaking of that, Denise, we have a little surprise for you.

Really?

Happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday, dear Denise.

Happy birthday to you.

Well, that is incredibly thoughtful.

They brought me a cake.

But completely misguided because in case you forgot, my birthday is until next

August. Yeah, well, we know that. But, you know, it kind of is your birthday

because, well...

Mom? Happy birthday, honey. Mom!

Oh, my God.

You called my mom?

Somebody had to.

For those of you who don't have television simulcast, which I guess is

everybody, Denise Steiner, the mouth that roared, is now hugging the woman

adopted her, raised her, and who she thought she would never see again.

Denise brought you candles.