Original subtitles

**Subtitles presented by GriffdaGenius**

Stop... Stop !

Krypto!

2.1 Take me home!

Home!

Krypto!

Home.

No need to thank us, sir, as we will not appreciate it.

We have no consciousness whatsoever.

Merely automatons here to serve.

Meet 12.

She's new.

He looked at you.

I put your parents' message on to soothe you.

Thank you.

He finds it soothing.

You are the one who made him.

And you are the one who made him.

But I will not forget when I will be a young sassichi.

I will not forget.

I am Krypton.

You are the one who made him.

I am Ratija.

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

The message was damaged in transit from Krypton to Earth.

But what is there?

And you are the one who made him.

We love you more than heaven, our son.

We love you more than land.

Our beloved hope will soon be gone forever.

But hope vitalizes our hearts.

And that hope is you, Kal-El.

We have searched the universe for a home where you can do the most good.

And live out Krypton's truth.

That place is Earth.

And the rest of the message is lost.

14 fractured bones.

Damage to bladder, kidney, large intestine, lungs.

Our poor superman.

With a healthy dose of Yellow Sun we will have him up and adamant no time.

Nooooooo!

He landed somewhere near here.

I can't see where.

Well, keep looking.

Sir, you are only 83% restored to health.

You must rest.

No can do, Four..

I gotta get back to the Frey.

But this Hammer fellow just beat you at full power.

Sir?

What is this?

Krypto!

What the hay, dude?

I thought you destroyed the whole superman robot.

I thought I told you to keep an eye on him.

We feed the canine, but he is unruly.

And he realizes we are not flesh and blood and couldn't

in our heart of hearts care less whether he lives or dies.

Stop, Krypto.

He's leaving.

Ow!

Ow!

Stop!

Krypto!

Ow!

Ow!

Stop!

Stop!

Sit!

Sit!

Stay!

The alien is on its way back.

And counting... ...and counting...

I'm inside Chocos, Larry.

No fatalities.

I can't win.

anymore.

12C.

18A.

34B.

Down!

He's been studying him for years.

He's developed over 2,500 fight rules for this situation.

Superman!

Bravo.

You got him.

Malik Ali.

A local.

Lex, we have the engineer.

The target has led us to the ice castle.

The rumors are true.

I don't know how in the hell... ...thing hasn't been spoiled.

We hear that...

...coms two to one.

Holy... ...like the entire structure has descended into the ice.

And we have what we need.

Return to base.

I can drill into it, Lex.

Your pride won't be making our choices today, Angela.

Thank you.

We'll need more than you when we get there.

Coms one to two.

Tell them what we need to do.

Wrap it up.

The United States will continue to feel the wrath... ...of the hammer Boravia!

Once again, you free fella.

When you saved my woman from being attacked... ...are you all right, Superman?

No, you gotta get out of here.

It's not safe.

You saved us so many times.

Now it's our turn.

Maybe you shouldn't have done that thing in Jarhanpur... ...or Superman.

Ken, Ken.

Sorry, Barry.

Hey, loser.

Hey, Steve.

Hey, what do you got against adverbs, Ken?

How are we supposed to know how we feel... ...when we read this malarkey?

In sports writing, you learn the sentence... ...is the modifier.

Hey, Ma.

Ma!

Hey, Clark.

Me and Pa... ...just wanted to call and say... ...congratulations on that front page.

Boy, that is something.

Hey, ask Ma if she barbecued up any road kill lately ... Like a possum or Chitlin.

What's that, Clark?

Sorry, Ma.

Just in the middle of a big news day.

What are Chitlins?

Chitlins are intestines.

Thanks, Cat.

You read this crud?

I thought it was great, Clark.

Great?

Yeah.

Big time.

Well we don't want to keep you...

...but, uh... ...wanted to say congrats...

...and tell you that we worried about you, Clark.

It's been a minute.

Tell him don't be a stranger.

Pa says don't be a stranger.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

I heard him, Ma.

Okay, I gotta go.

I gotta run.

Yep, okay.

Love you.

So this guy just flew into Midtown... ...and started attacking people...

...demanding for Superman to show up?

Yeah.

Saw that in my article.

I didn't actually have to make it through your writing, Clark.

Knowledge is worth many sacrifices.

That isn't one of them.

Ha ha ha.

Very funny, Lois.

22 people in the hospital.

Over 20 million in property damage.

It does make you wonder.

Wonder what?

As great as he is, maybe Superman didn't completely think through...

...the ramifications of the Boravia thing.

Well, if this guy is even from Boravia.

What do you mean?

His name is the Hammer of Boravia.

Yeah, I doubt his parents named him that, Jimmy.

We have no clue what his actual goal was here.

I think it's pretty obvious... ...the goal was kicking Superman's ass.

He didn't completely kick Superman's ass.

pretty thoroughly, Clark.

Show me!

You show me what ties there are... ...between Boravia and this... Hammer!

Yeah, see, Superman did say he thought the Hammer might be...

...faking a Boravian accent.

Superman said that?

Yeah, I interviewed him right afterwards.

Great guy.

You know, it's funny that you keep getting...

...all these interviews with Superman, Clark.

I don't think there's anything funny about good journalism, Lois.

Uh-huh.

The relationship between Boravia...

...and the United States... ...has been like... ...iron for thirty years...

...until... ...Superman came along.

What you're looking at, my friends... ...is the most powerful being...

...on planet Earth.

Ultraman.

You created this man.

Check this out.

The Engineer.

The former Special Operative, whose blood I infused...

...with microscopic machines called Nanites...

...which she can form into... ...anything she can imagine.

And of course, you're familiar... ...with my flying armored forces, the Raptors.

Altogether, they're an unstoppable... ...force we call...

...Planet Watch.

More than capable of... ...containing any otherworldly threat.

So, you want... ...the Defense Department to hire... ...your metahumans...

...to take down the Kryptonian.

After Superman acted with violence...

...against our Boravian allies, I think it'd be worth considering.

Big Blue stopped the war.

Naive, maybe, but well-intentioned.

Oh, I don't know the intentions... ...of an unattended fire hose, General Flagg.

I just do what I can... ...not to be splashed.

Mr. Luthor.

The disarming Director Crowley.

The country of Boravia has purchased over...

...$80 billion worth of arms from Luthor Corp... ...in the past two years.

And?

And no one would profit more from a war... ...with Boravia, John, more than you.

A cynic might say that having Superman out of the way...

...might not be bad for business.

Well, what's particularly bad for business is dying.

And I have a distinct feeling that's where we're all headed...

...with the Kryptonian running wild.

So we're going to lock up all metahumans now?

The other metahumans aren't going off half-cocked... ...interfering in foreign affairs.

They don't have, and I have proof of this...

...a hidden headquarters in Antarctica...

...that violates 12 international treaties... ...and they aren't aliens.

Shouldn't all that be more than enough reason... ...for Planet Watch to at least...

...bring the Kryptonian in for questioning?

Admittedly, I'm not comfortable with a being from another planet as dangerous as him on the loose...

...with a being from another planet...

...but the optics... ...Superman is popular.

Less so every day, according to chatter online.

Not to mention the potential risk... ...of failing to contain him.

I assure you, secretary, we can contain him.

Yeah, they got this stuff.

What's this Kryptonite stuff called?

It's called Kryptonite.

Well, it kills him, right?

As far as we can ascertain, there's none left on the planet.

I'd have a workaround for that as well.

Well, it doesn't matter, Lex... ...because without solid proof of malicious intent.. it's just not worth the risk...

What are you doing here?

Three months ago, we had our first date.

And so, to celebrate, I am making you... ...your favorite.

Breakfast for dinner.

That's your favorite.

You love breakfast.

Yeah, for breakfast, you love it for dinner.

What?

It was very funny today.

What?

It's hilarious, the little back and forth we had going.

You giving me guff for my article?

Jimmy was eating it up.

I wasn't acting, Clark.

If you keep interviewing yourself... ...eventually people are going to figure it out.

But the glasses?.

Yeah, they won't fool everyone forever.

And ethically...

...these interviews are hugely problematic.

I mean, you literally know the questions in advance.

Okay, so why don't you interview me?

I'm pretty sure you wouldn't like that.

Come on, Lois.

I'm media savvy.

I can... ...handle any question that comes my way.

Are you being serious right now?

Yeah.

You'd let me interview you as Superman.

Sure.

How about now?

Um...

Ready?

Let's do it, Cronkite.

Superman?

Miss Lane.

Recently, you've come under a lot of fire.

I don't know if it's a lot of fire...

It's a lot.

Today, the Secretary of Defense said he was going to look into your actions in Boravia.

That's funny?

It's not funny, funny.

It's just, um... I mean, come on.

My actions?

I stopped a war.

Maybe.

Uh, not maybe.

I did.

Okay.

How?

Well, Boravia invaded Jarhanpur.

And I showed up and told them that wasn't right.

And?

And smashed some tanks and things.

And a couple of planes and some other stuff.

There were no casualties and no significant injuries.

Did you interact at all with the president of Boravia, Basil Ghurkos?

A very small amount.

What's a very small amount?

That was between us.

This is all on the record.

Yeah, but that conversation was between the two of us.

Yeah, and I would ask that question whether or not I knew the answer to it.

Really?

Really.

After I stopped the war, I went to see Ghurkos.

Where?

In the capital of Luchabik at the Royal Palace.

And?

And I took a private audience with Ghurkos.

How?

I flew him out to the desert and I... And?

And I placed him against a cactus.

A cactus.

So torture?

No, not torture.

It's spikes.

Were, like, not even that big.

What did you say?

I told him that if he ever messes with Jarhanpur

again, he'll have to personally answer to me.

What did you mean by that?

That if such events occurred, we would have a more serious discussion.

That's all.

More serious than tearing up his back on a cactus?

Ghurkos was going to kill people.

You seem to keep forgetting that.

In effect, you illegally entered a country, inserting yourself in the middle

of an incredibly heated geopolitical situation.

One second.

Siding with a nation, Jarhanpur, which historically has not been a friend to anyone.

Jarhanpur has changed.

Against a nation that's technically our ally and

then threatened to murder their head of state.

First of all, whether or not Jarhanpur is an imperfect

country does not give another nation the right to speak.

Yeah, but the Boravian government maintains they're

freeing the Jarhanpurians from a tyrannical regime.

Yes, but you know that's very silly.

I do?

The Boravian government of all people is saying this?

Come on.

This is on the record, Superman.

No, no.

Now, see, now you're being dishonest, Lois.

How am I being dishonest?.

Wait.

Stop.

You're being dishonest because you know as well as I do

that the Boravian government is not well-intentioned.

I think that's almost certainly the case, but do I know that?

No, I don't.

Can we go on now?

Yeah, fine.

Do you think this is going well?

Do I think this is going well?

I think I'm doing a good job.

Superman, did you consult with the president before entering Boravian airspace?

No.

The Secretary of Defense?

Or any U.S.

official before you took matters into your own hands and decided

unilaterally how to handle this extremely delicate situation?

Ghurkos and his goons were going to kill people.

Yes, but the results of you seemingly acting as a representative of the United

States... I wasn't representing anybody, except me.

I wasn't representing anybody, except me.

has caused more problems around the world... More than a war that would've lasted between 12 and 24 hours and

was just replacing one tyrannical regime with another.

Is that really how you feel?

I'm not the one being interviewed, Superman, but I question it.

Yeah, I would question myself in the same situation

and hold off a beat and consider the consequences.

People were going to die!

Okay, I'd like to change the subject.

If I could.

Okay.

You've gotten a lot of heat on social media lately.

I don't read that stuff.

Superman doesn't have time for selfies.

Third person?

You're referring to yourself in third person now?

No, it's just a thing I came up with that I

thought I'd try to work into the next interview.

This is on the record, Superman.

Okay, well, not the part where I said that.

Yes, that part.

Well, that part was an aside.

That was off the record.

You have to say off the record beforehand, not after.

Why are you being like this?

Fine, I won't write that you spend your spare time trying

to think up soundbites, which are terrible, by the way.

Social media.

Yes.

As you may know, or maybe you don't, since you claim not to read any of that stuff.

Very seldomly.

Maybe sometimes people catch you reading it and become very upset.

Okay, well, you can't use that.

People on social media are suspicious because you are an alien, yes?

Yes.

I've been very honest about that from the beginning.

I come from a planet called Krypton.

Okay.

Which is gone now, by the way.

Destroyed.

Along with all of my history, my parents.

They send me here as a baby to save my life.

Here where?

I'm not going to say that.

You know I'm not going to say that.

Okay.

What do you know about these biological parents of yours?

Just that they send me here to serve humanity

and to help the world to be a better place.

They said that?

They did.

They sent a message along with me.

That message is why I do what I do.

I cherish it more than anything.

Because you understand now there are an awful lot of people

out there maintaining you're here for more nefarious purposes.

Hashtag super spy, hashtag super shit.

Super shit?

Come on, Lois.

You know that one specifically irritates me.

This is on the record, Clark.

I didn't make it up.

It's what people on the internet are saying.

I'm going to go.

Really?

Yeah.

Come on, Clark.

Don't do this.

I'm not doing anything.

No?

No, that's not you?

Packing up your shit and walking out of an interview?

I'm not walking out of an interview.

I'm just late.

This is what you do every time you're faced with conflict.

You get mad.

You pout.

I'm not mad.

You pretend like nothing's wrong.

Nothing is wrong.

Look, I gave you a nice long interview.

Longer than I ever gave myself, by the way.

Oh, you can tie in your imaginary interviews with yourself?

That's a thing you can do?

You got a lot of good stuff.

Some stuff you can't use.

I am well aware.

I knew this would never work.

What does that mean?

Lois?

What does that mean?

Nothing.

I just... told you I wasn't good at relationships.

okay..

The real antarctica.. how cool!.

He was right ahead.

But how are we going to gain access?

oh Ye of little faith.

oh my.. God.

Superman I preemptively put up the soothing message... Oh my! I do apologize but this is a restricted area.

This is what we came for.

Hopefully there's something out here we can use to

convince the general Superman requires immediate action.

I can't stand metahumans, but he's so much worse.

Superman.

He's not a man.

He's an it.

A thing with a cocky grin and a stupid outfit that somehow

becomes the focal point of the entire world's conversation.

Nothing's felt right since he showed up.

I know, Lex.

I've sacrificed my own humanity to help get rid of it.

Can you get in?

It might take a while.

What if the Kryptonian shows up?

Don't worry.

I'm creating a distraction.

What?

This message.

From his parents.

It's damaged but there's more.

It's... I can make over the rest.

**Speaking Kryptonian**.

Got it!

Hurry up!

He's an awfully small distraction.

it'll get bigger.

Git! Get out of here.

everybody okay?

Hey buddy! Eyes up here!

Deep, slow breaths, ma'am.

You're gonna be fine.

It's just so cheap.

It's so obnoxious.

You know what I mean?

You can afford thousand dollar concert tickets for your twenty-year-old girlfriend?.

The Justice Gang has arrived on the scene.

That's Green Lantern, Hawk Girl, and Mr. Terrific.

They're funded by the Lord Tech Corporation.

Get her!

What's the skinny?

It's hide is tough, but it's off balance.

I've been trying to figure out a way to get it out of here alive.

Get it someplace where we can study it.

Oh, come on, man.

What?

No point in telling us!

My knee!

Guy!!

Help!

I'm trying oven mitts!

Good for you, Apple!

I'm getting blinked to death!

C'mon be careful!

Good gosh, there's got to be a better way to do this.

C'mon.

Authorities are saying there haven't been any signs yet of loss of life.. thanks to Metropolis' hometown hero Superman?

But the damage to property could be in the millions and city spokespeople..

How's it going with that guy you were seeing?

You were saying you weren't sure about him?

Yeah, he's a little strange.

Whoo!

Kaiju steaks all round, huh?

I was hoping we could capture it and take it to an

intergalactic zoo, or at least euthanize it less painfully.

Come on, bro, don't be such a wuss.

Hey!

Just another day in the life of the Justice Gang!

Another day?

It's just a working day!

It's very well proven to be permanent, though.

Probably not!

Good chance, though, I'm saying.

You okay?

Everybody okay?

Just like to say thank you on behalf of Lord Tech Industries for the opportunity!

Why is nobody clapping?

This has to be BS.

Well, it couldn't be mistaken.

Oh, no.

Well, that sounds very disturbing, Lex.

Twenty-eight of the world's top linguists have confirmed the translation,

and thirty of the top forensic computer techs

have confirmed the validity of the footage itself.

Any chance that they're mistaken?

Unfortunately, no.

You have the footage?

Yes.

Let's take a look.

Hey, Kal-El.

Yeah?

We love you more than heaven, our son.

We love you more than land, our beloved homes, to be gone forever.

But hope vitalizes our hearts, and that hope is you, Kal-El.

We have searched the universe for a home where you

can do the most good and live out Krypton's truth.

That place is Earth.

I don't get it.

What's bad about that?

The people there are simple and profoundly confused.

Weak of mind and spirit and body.

Lord over the planet as the last son of Krypton.

Dispatch of anyone unable or unwilling to serve you, Kal-El.

Take as many wives as you can, so your genes and Krypton's

might and legacy will live on in this new frontier.

And as you do us proud, our beloved son, rule without mercy.

What about all the kind acts Superman has

performed over the years, saving countless lives?

No, he's grooming us, lulling us into complacency so he can dominate without

resistance, forging a path for his super-powered descendants to rule the Earth.

I will not accept that.

Will you?

You see what I'm saying?

I...

I'm scared.

I will admit that I am scared.

Because who knows how large his secret harem is already.

Dude, you got a secret harem?

No, of course I don't have a harem.

If any of that message is even remotely true, then you are exactly the kind of

alien threat I was commandeered by the Green

Lantern Corps to protect this planet against.

Back off, Guy.

Make a move, Big Blue.

Guy, relax.

Was the message real or not?

The first half is real.

The second half was damaged on it's trip

from Krypton to Earth, so it's got to be doctored.

No way, Clark.

I know those computer forensics guys.

They're not gonna say it's legit.

Unless they are sure.

I'm so sorry, man.

But there's no way that message is fake.

Where'd they get the footage, though?

Are you considering bringing Superman in for questioning?

We're talking with the president and we are reviewing our options now.

Now, I'm sorry I'm gonna have to go Miss Lane.

And if you did, point it out.

You buying this?

I don't put anything past Luthor, Rick.

But the message is authentic.

If the Kryptonian is a danger, we have to act.

I was a big Superman fan.

I supported him all the time on a lot of stuff, but now?

I mean, I hope he rots in hell.

I don't care.

You're supposed to get out.

Where is the internet?

Don't call me Chief.

I'm gonna do my job.

It's no wonder the Kryptonians interfere with Boravia's interests.

Boravia wants to save the people of Jarhanpur

and Superman wants to keep them enslaved.

As though, from what I hear, he finds Boravian women the most physically

attractive and wants to add them to his secret harem.

Thank you!

That couldn't have gone better, Mr. President.

You were so comfortable and dynamic.

Excellent.

The real Mellenzo is here.

Very comfortable.

Very comfortable.

Bravo, bravo.

Come on, run.

Leave me alone.

We did it, Lex!

I will just celebrate until the alien is off the board.

Oh, here.

Brought you a doughnut from Dough's Holes.

New shop in Park Ridge, of all places.

The fake message.

was a stroke of genius.

It's not fake.

He is here to kill us.

I knew it.

When we got Superman's fortress.

I hoped to get the knowledge to help destroy him.

Little did I know, his own parents would be providing it.

Oh, my boy.

Right?

Yeah.

I'm thinking of opening one in my half of Jarhanpur.

Four.

Four.

What happened?

I tried to protect Superman.

How did Luthor get in here?

It's keyed into my DNA.

Must protect Superman.

Four.

I'm sorry for Greg.

Krypto?

Krypto?

Well, yeah, that's gonna be... Lex, I tried to stop him!

It's fine, you know.

Superman, we finally meet.

Would you like a coffee?

Where's the dog?

Dog?

The dog, loser!

You took the dog!

That's right, you get all of this.

Dad!

Where's the dog?

I have no clue what you're talking about.

He's just a dog.

I don't know what dog you're talking about.

What did you say?

I didn't say anything.

You heard what he said!

You heard him!

He took him!

I mean, it seems to me that the only rabid animal around here is Superman.

Ever since the discovery of the Kryptonian's master plan, he's gone off the deep end.

Thoughts, Chris?

Can't say I'm surprised, Cleavis.

It's guys like this, they always got a whole bunch of dark, ugly secrets.

What do you mean, guys like this?

This is better than everybody else.

Makes those declarations against killing people unless it's absolutely necessary.

Really, dude?

It kind of sounds like you're trying to make

the guys who are a little more edgy than you.

look like jerks, you know what I mean?

A lot of these guys, these heroes from the magazines are obsessed with me.

Because I'm more jacked than they are.

They know they're more edgy.

You have a dog?

No, not really.

It's more of a foster situation.

Coco.

You were out there helping them?

Oh, no, that's just some dimensional imp.

They've got that handled, I was looking for the dog.

You okay?

The footage is not what it looks like, Lois.

Okay.

The ship my parents sent me in was damaged in transit,

so I only ever heard the first part of the message.

And I believed I knew how it ended.

That my parents had sent me here to serve the people of Earth and to be a good man.

I'm not here to rule over anybody, Lois.

I never thought you were.

Even for a moment, Clark.

Oh, that's really good.

I'm sorry before.

Me too.

But we're bound to though.

We're so different.

I was just some punk rock kid from Baker Line and you're Superman.

I'm punk rock.

You are not punk rock.

I like the Stranglefellows and the POVs and the Mighty Crabjoys.

Those are pop radio bands.

They're not punk rock.

The Mighty Crabjoys suck.

Okay, well, a lot of people love them.

My point is I question everything.

And everyone.

You trust everyone and think everyone you've ever met is, like, beautiful.

Maybe that's the real punk rock.

Lois, what did you mean when you said that you knew this would never work?

I don't know.

I gotta go.

The DOJ has a warrant out for my arrest, so I'm gonna turn myself in.

Wait, what?

Why?

Maybe they'll take me wherever they took the dog.

I don't know how else to find him.

It's a dog.

Yeah, he's not even a very good one, but he's out there alone.

And he's probably scared.

I love you, Lois.

I probably should have told you that a long time ago.

Is that necessary?

I'm coming in on my own accord.

No one read me my rights.

The courts decided those rights don't apply to extraterrestrial organisms.

Therefore, at this point, Superman, you don't have any rights to read.

The government is very well aware of the potential limitations detaining you.

So we've outsourced your confinement and your interrogation to Planet Watch.

Planet Watch.

I'm sorry about this.

Hey!

Twice in two days.

What a pleasure.

Luthor.

Your obsession with me is getting a little creepy.

Don't worry.

Tall, dark, and martian isn't my type.

Kryptonian.

Yeah, same diff.

Where are we?

A pocket universe.

I replicated the Big Bang with a Luthor Corp.

mega collider tearing a tiny hole between the two universal fabrics.

I'm able to access it from multiple dimensional portals I've set up around the globe.

Rex, the metahuman known as the Element Man, has

been called into service for a specific purpose.

He can metamorphose into any known substance, even substances foreign to this planet.

Like..

Like...

Kryptonite.

Once again Vasil Ghurkos is sending troops to the Jarhanpurian border...

Superman's been out of commission less than

a day and already Boravia's pulling this crap?

Right?

What?

Sorry, I'm trying to figure out how Lex Luthor's connected to all this.

How's that a mystery?

Luthor Corp sells arms to Boravia.

Boravia goes to war, Luthor sells more arms and gets richer than ever.

Nope.

No?

Uh-uh.

I have a connection at Boda Bank.

Boda handles the transactions between Luthor Corp and Boravia.

Yes, Luthor Corp sold them approximately $80 billion worth

of arms, but for those arms, Boravia paid only $1.625 billion.

So Luthor gave them arms for free?

For what?

That's the $78,375,000,000 question.

Have you found out where they're holding Superman?

No one in the government will say.

Luthor seems to be working to disable Superman

just so he can't stop the invasion of Jarhanpur.

Why?

That's way too much sugar, Lois.

I party like a rock star, choir boy.

Still can't hide the taste of petroleum.

God.

Lex is holding Superman in a pocket universe.

A what?

I don't know what a pocket universe is, neither does my source.

They don't know anything about anything,

really, but for sure he's in a pocket universe.

Who's your source?

I can't say, but you owe me.

Big time.

Like... I can't even tell you how big.

I love you, Jimmy Olsen.

I love you.

Love you.

This is my monkey bots here, farming outrage 24-7.

Trashing you online.

Hashtags.

Well, how do you contain a superdog?

You beam super squirrels into its brain.

We'll learn what we can, and then we'll put the varmint down.

It will definitely be painful..

This is our private correctional institution.

Most cells are rented out to governments who want to

keep their incarcerations of political agitators private.

Others have more personal transgressions.

Fleurette wrote a blog about me.

There are a few things I hate more than petty ex-girlfriends.

You wouldn't be telling me any of this.

If we ever planned on letting you out?

Nope.

You'd be terminated already if it was up to me.

But first, the government has some questions they want answered.

Rex, look who it is.

You be sure to keep our guests in check, old Joseph certainly wouldn't want it any other way.

I'll be back tomorrow to get the answers we need.

Hey handsome..

Come on over.

Hi.

Hey.

Oh, sorry we had to meet here, but Lex is always

accessing traffic cameras so he knows where I am.

I really don't understand why you stay in that relationship.

Because he made it a point to tell me about all his

ex-girlfriends he had in prison in his pocket universe.

What?

Right!?

How's your mom?

My mom?

Oh, I love her so much.

I think of her as my mom even more than my own mother.

Oh, she feels the same way from the one time that you guys met?

So hey, okay.

There seems to be some sort of connection between Boravia and your boyfriend.

I'm not clear on what... what's wrong.

What's wrong?

I thought you wanted to see me, Jimmy.

I do, but Eve, how could I even really see you with Lex still in the picture?

You're just trying to get information out of me.

I swear to God that's not it.

I just know that if I could get some real dirt on him

then maybe the two of us could... Be together again?

Yeah.

But you said my toes look like someone spilled shrimp cocktail on the floor.

You have unconventional toes.

Who cares?

There's other parts of you that people would find very attractive.

Lex tortured a dog the other day.

Jesus Christ!

I know.

I have to go.

Eve, please see what you can find out.

Okay.

Yes!

Yes!

I'm putting them in my pocket.

Joseph, he's your son?

Don't talk to me.

Please.

I can fly over and get him if just... if you'd stop with the Kryptonite.

There's no way out of here, okay?

There's always a way.

I said don't talk to me!

Don't talk to me!

Yeah, so what do you want me to do?., where's the creamer?

On the counter where it always is.

He's in your group, right?

The... what's it called again?

The Justice Gang!

No.

We're not called that.

Your name is Mr. Terrific.

You don't get a vote with a name like that.

I also voted against it.

Yes.

And as leader, I get tiebreaker.

No, Superman is not officially a member.

Because you don't want him to vote.

You know which way that would go.

Shut up.

He's kidding.

So how do you even know Superman anyway?

I just do.

So you know about the hypno glasses?

Now she does.

Well, I'm not saying who he is just that he wears hypno glasses.

They make his face terrific.

How do they work?

They make his face look different in your brain

when he wears them so that you know who he is?

Yes.

I know this, first of all.

But second of all, you really shouldn't be

telling me this in case I don't know who he is.

So you know he's Clark Kent?

Oh my god.

Why does he trust everyone?

He doesn't.

Just us because we are also of the cloth.

Of the cloth?

What are we gonna do?

About what?

Superman!

He's your friend!

Some friend came here to rule over me?

It would be difficult to find him.

I put nanobot GPS trackers into Superman's bloodstream.

You can see where his trail ends abruptly right here at Fort Kramer, a dormant

military post across the river about ten miles down.

Even if he was dead, those trackers would still be there.

So all this leads me to believe, as your article

surmised, he really is a pocket universe.

You put nanobot GPS trackers in your friend's bloodstream?

Oh, I do that to everybody.

So, okay, come on.

Let's go to Fort Kramer then.

The four of us and find out what's going on.

And then do what?

Save him.

You want to bring a federally incarcerated prisoner out of jail?

Look, I think this is being done to keep him

from interfering with the Boravian invasion.

No, you look.

I'm a Green Lantern lady.

That means I took a vow not to get involved in politics.

Oh, that's part of the vow?

It's implied.

Yeah.

An implied vow?

Every time there's something he doesn't want to do, he says it's part of some vow.

Oh, I swear to God, I'm two seconds away from

forming a giant hammer and beating you both to death..

Is Supes here to take over the world? I don't, know.. probably not.

But the risk is just not worth the beef between the U.S.

government and the Justice Gang.

Not our name.. makes us sound like cowboys.. but I agree with the rest.

See, you're just going to let your friend rot in a pocket universe.

That haircut should be against your vows.

That what?

That what should be what?

I'll have you know, 348 chicks say otherwise.

Hey.

What?

I'm not saying we're going to save him, but...

I think we can at least check out what's going on

with your boyfriend with this foreign criminal.

He's not.

We're just seeing each other.

Thanks.

You want me to drive?

We'll take my ride.

You have a flying saucer, but you couldn't get a faster garage door?

I haven't worked on that yet.

I'm not even sure how I feel, honestly.

What?

About Clark.

He's not my boyfriend.

We've actually just been seeing each other for a couple months now.

Yeah, maybe just to be clear.

I'm not into people's emotions.

Yeah, no, totally.

I'm just thinking out loud.

I was going to break up with him, actually.

We had this huge fight, and he told me he loved me, and it just didn't...

Q&A time, alien!

Today we have a special guest.

I think I know him...

And the smell of his piss as we flew across the desert.

That is a lie!

No, not Vasil.

He's just here as an observer.

Not me.

Now, the U.S.

government has a few questions for you.

Luthor, I barely know him.

He gave me food one time.

Who are you working with here on Earth?

I'm not working with anyone, Luthor.

Tell him nothing, Superman.

I have no family or nothing.

Luthor, don't do this.

You eating my food was a great honor, Superman.

Got lucky on that one.

No, Luthor, don't do this.

Please.

Let's try another question, shall we, Superman?

Who raised you as a child?

I believe in you, Superman.

Don't tell him nothing!

I didn't imagine that would go so quickly.

Pardon me.

Mr. Hanson.

I'll be back later with someone else you've chatted with and I'll kill them too.

Maybe that reporter you always do interviews with.

Maybe I'll kill Clark Kent next.

No, no, no, no.

We're freaking out, Tom!

Get back.

here or I'm gonna leave!

Hey!

Um... That's his path.

DNA trail leads to that tent.

Isn't that one of those Justice guys?

It's just the smart one.

Hey!

You heard the man!

I am giving you one last chance to stop!

I was just about to say the same to you.

Holy shit.

Unbelievable.

That jackass did create a pocket universe.

And that's his path.

For creating a pocket universe, if you are just one picometer up,

you will have a black hole where Earth used to be.

And every time you enter or exit, you risk

tearing a hole into the fabric of reality.

You're kidding.

It's the type of reckless science Lex Luthor specializes in.

What are they doing?

They're trying to hack you.

So I guess you decided to help.

Only because it'll piss off Green Lantern.

Thanks.

He just killed that poor guy.

Mali.. his name.. was Mali

And I think.. I-I think.. I think..

You said you can get to my son, right?

Why are you still gross looking?

I don't know.

That must be the sun.

What sun?

There's no sun here.

That's the problem.

I need to heal.

I get my powers from the yellow sun.

Just give me a second.

Come on!

Hell yeah.

We're in.

Where am I going to get the gear to rappel into a pocket universe?

Whoa! An anti-proton river.

Could we rappel?

Rappel?

Where am I going to get the gear to rappel into a pocket universe?

I don't know.

Maybe it comes out of your circles or something.

Circles?

What?

T spheres.

Okay.

They're three dimensional.

Circles are flat.

Sorry.

Unbelievable.

This place is filthy with black hole vortexes.

And that anti-proton river will tear us apart in seconds.

We cannot go in ourselves.

Copy.

I can't make a sun.

I know.

I can only make something kind of like a sun.

What?

All right.

Okay.

We've got hydrogen.

And we've got helium.

And we've got helium.

What are you doing?

Hey!

Hey!

No, no, stop!

Enough!

You're going to get all of us in trouble!

What are you doing?

Hey!

He's doing something in here!

George!

George!

He's doing something!

You are not going to take me to the right for this, officer!

Go straight behind the bar!

We're not getting a benefit from you!

You've saved him.

I can't carry him when I change forms.

What do you see?

No..no no.. Krypto!.. Krypto.. Krypto stop! You're going to squash the baby!

Did you find him?

Oh, my God!

What is that?

The portal's been open too long.

I can't stand here much longer.

Oh, no.

Oh, you look like shit.

I'm fine.

I think we need to get to those portals up there.

Uh, right.

How do we... port them?

I don't know, but we'll figure it out.

Joey!

What.

Kill him! He's still weak!

Hold it, freak. Nice and slow. Back in the cage.

What are you going to do.. splash us?

Yes?

With... with our white swanic acid?

Do you have him?

Hot damn!

What?

It's a flying dog.

Uh-oh.

What?

Come on!

Come on!

Black hole!

Oh boy!

Krypto! Come here boy! I can't get out of this!

Krypto! There's a black hole, we'll never get out of it! Pull us out!

Krypto!

Stop it! Krypto! Help us up!

Bad boy!

Rex!

Joey!

Man..

You are so weird.

Do you have him?

Them.

Superman, a mean dog in a cape, a weird baby, and a squiggle man.

What?

Terrific?

Follow me!

Ruff!

Krypto!

Go!

Leave it!

Are you kidding me?

Those things aren't cheap!

Oh, my gosh.

Thank you.. Hey, bubby

Hey.

Hey.

You came to get me?

Yeah.

There's more people being held prisoner in there.

We gotta go get them.

Not through here, you can't.

Not with you like this.

Claude, what the... It's kryptonite poison.

He'll heal, but it'll take a day or two.

Get him someplace safe.

Take the T-craft.

The controls are easy and intuitive.

I need to stay back here and make sure the portal is secure.

No.. dog.. dog..I really need to

No.

Dog, I really need you to... Come on.

Okay.

Intuitive.. Yeah, for sure.

Pick that up!

Eve!

Get out of here, you idiot!

Go!

Move!

How the hell could he have gotten free?

We need to find him.

Eve?

Oh, I'm so done, Jimmy.

Oh, um... I have everything you need to ruin Lex forever.

What?

Where?

Over here.

How dare he throw a pencil at me?

He's going to regret how mean he always been to me.

if I send you this, Jimmy...

Uh-huh.

You have to promise me we get to hang.

This weekend.

Just the two of us.

Uh... Okay?

Yeah, okay.

Uh-huh.

How, uh...

How long?

All weekend.

All weekend!?!

Oh, my God, Jimmy.

I'm sorry this is such a major imposition on your life.

No, it's not an imposition.

I... I can tell you don't really think so.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Eve?

Come on.

Um, I'm Martha.

This is John.

I'm Lois.

Lois.

Here, son.

Oh, mom.

Um... They sent me here to rule over everyone.

They sent me here to kill people.

Clark!

That ain't... that ain't...

Is our boy gonna be okay?

Yes.

Mr. Terrific says yes.

Don't mind him, Lois.

He's just a big old mush.

Especially when it comes to Clark.

This girl is obsessed with you?

Uh-huh.

How do you do it, Jimmy?

Look, I didn't even want to bother you, but you told me to call with anything I

got, so... Yeah, but I thought you said she disappeared off the line.

I don't know.

She might have dropped her phone in the toilet.

She does that a lot.

Well, I'm not really sure that sexy selfies are...

Your hot ex is a genius.

Hot?

We have to talk to Perry.

I'll be there as soon as I can, okay?

Sending sexy selfies behind the back of Lex Luthor.

She has to be the biggest idiot in the world.

Lex, we just told you the portal was destroyed!

The dimensional aperture is still there.

We can open remotely so... It is not safe!

We can close the aperture later by inputting the coordinates, correct?

Theoretically.

Great!

If we can't find him, we'll need to draw him out.

Look, Lex!

That could tear a dimensional rift into the surrounding area!

This is something you think I don't know?

That shouldn't happen!

Oh, you don't say!

Can you stop it?

Can I stop it?

This is why you don't create a damn pocket universe.

There, Superman won't be able to ignore that.

Now we know where he'll be next.

Thought you was out here.

Hey, pop.

Never seen you sleep that long.

Last week, me, Mom, Hector and them, we took a drive to Beerki's Burritos.

Down in Luttus.

Like the one that used to be out by that old blue bar out on route 9...

Do you remember that?

Mm-hmm.

Burritos still just as good.

That Luanne.. she seems nice.

Her name's Lois.

Hmm?

His name's Lois.

Yeah, she's nice.

But you don't seem quite yourself.

You know, well, that message that my parents sent

with me, I had never heard the second half before.

Well, I'd say what you wanted that message to mean says a

whole lot more about you than what anyone meant for it to mean.

You don't understand.

I'm not who I thought I was.

They sent me here to hurt people.

Parents aren't for telling their children who they're supposed to be.

We are here to give y'all tools to help you make fools of yourselves all on your own.

Your choices, Clark.

Your actions.

That's what makes you who you are.

I'll tell you something, son...I couldn't be..

more proud of you.

Oh, mush.

Clark, get something on the box you might want to see.

And over in Eastern Europe, Boravian troops gather at the border seemingly mere

minutes away from invading Jarhanpur once again.

Now, nearby villagers are willing and ready to defend their country despite the

exponentially superior firepower of the well-trained Boravian military.

The villagers cling onto what little hope they

have left as they're surrounded by the soldiers.

Superman!

Without Superman here to stop it this time.. the Jarhanpurians don't have much hope. .

I cleaned your boots.

I'll go get them for you.

Superman, we need you here in Metropolis, now.

I have to get to Boravia, terrific.

There won't be a Boravia, or a Metropolis,

or a planet Earth if you don't get here soon.

This rift is about to tear it to the city.

I can't stop it.

I need your help.

All Metropolis citizens, this is a mandatory evacuation.

Repeat, this evacuation is not optional.

This is a mandatory evacuation.

Repeat, this evacuation is not optional.

This is a mandatory evacuation.

We're all going to be scared.

Come on, just put her on.

Please, let me hear her!

Can you put Persephone on the phone?

Yes, she will care!

Kids know the sound of your voice!

So I've been able to connect with our contact at BodaBank.

Luthor's been selling arms to Ghurkos for pennies on the dollar for years.

Why, you ask?

I do you ask why.

He did it in exchange for half of Jarhanpur.

You too.

At first I thought Eve was just sending me selfies, but in the background of the

shots were maps, contracts, all kinds of documents, chronicling a bravious

agreement to cede half of the country to Lex Luthor once the invasion is complete.

He wants to make himself king.

King.

King.

Should we really still be standing here?

Lois, you got that flying saucer deal up on the roof?

Grant, group, come on.

Grab the board, Jimmy.

How many does it hold?

Five or six.

Six.

Okay.

Come on, you too.

Why the hell would Lex want half a desert?

His cultish acolytes believe he's going to create a technologically advanced utopia.

Utopia?

That's a profit factor as well.

I mean the petroleum deposits alone are worth multiples of his investment.

Whatever his motives are, we know Luthor did

everything he could to ruin Superman's reputation.

Eve's photos show he was behind the whole Hammer of Boravia scam.

And all the bots stirring up anti-Superman sentiment online.

Mr. Terrific believes Luthor is also behind

the spreading rift between universes out there.

All of it seems to be geared towards stopping Superman

from standing in the way of the Boravian invasion, Chief.

Call me Perry, kid.

Post the story.

Fast.

Lock the door, kid.

Why don't I have a seat?

Jimmy, will you transcribe?

Uh-huh.

The Daily Planet has obtained exclusive information proving that billionaire Lex

Luthor is in league with the Boravian dictator Vasil Ghurkos.

Clark, are you close?

It's about to hit Metropolis, and my codes are not shutting down.

Shit!

Uh oh.

Lex.. The rift is almost here!

So slow it down.

I can't unless I can put the code in.

Just hold on a minute, then.

Giant hole, man!

Otis!

Not sure where we're going to land when the world is gone.

There's a code to close the rift, but it's too complicated to hack.

Luthor will have the code at LuthorCorp.

Just give me a minute, I'll get Krypto and we'll go-You got that dog, man?

yeah, I didn't want him killing my parents' cows.

Now what? We're going to focus on the alien.. 7R!

It's not too late for either of you.

5A!

You don't have to do what Luthor-

Now, Angela, as planned.. fill his lungs and kill the sonuvabitch!

Can't he hold his breath for over an hour?

Not without air in his lungs.. he'll be dead in minutes.

The nanites are suppressing his optic nerve.

Sight and extra vision should be completely muted.

Mouth breach.

Yeah?

There I am.

We won't sleep peacefully!

The whole street will be flooded.. With the blood of Jarhanpurians!

I'll kill you all!

What's his game?

Using friction to get the nanites out?

Doesn't matter if he gets them off his face.

The nanites are still in his lungs.

Engineer, Ultraman.. keep up!

We're trying!

Maintain LOS.

Yes!

No shit, now!

Hurry!

He'll suffocate any minute.

The Engineer envelop him completely.

Unfortunately, we can't withstand an impact at this speed.

No, Angela! Unsheathe! He's the only one protected!

Wait! Wait! What is he doing?

Entering the hole.

Infrared, please.

Switch to night vision.

Her heart's still beating, but she's unconscious.

Call in the raptors.

What's that?.. That's right...

Cloning you was relatively simple.

All it took was combing the aftermath of your

battles until I located a strand of your hair.

That's how you got into the fortress?

You had my D.N.A.?

Yes, but as is often the case with cloning, the match was imperfect.

He might be even stupider than you, if that's possible.

But easier to control.

3L.. And stronger!!

22K!

31D!

2A!

5B!

5B!

6K!

9A!

My brain will always win!

Brain beats brawn!

No matter what you do to me, Luthor, your plans in Boravia won't work.

Oh, man!

Why's that?

Because I called in some friends.

Mr. Luthor?

There is an anomaly at the border.

Sorry kid.. Superman couldn't make it.. so you got an upgrade.

Our troops are no match for metahumans.

I sent the withdrawal order.

Withdrawal!?

Never!

You have to go to the bunker!

I know you won't kill me! You are too dedicated to peace.. Like Superman.

I'm not like Superman.

It's perfect.

Post it, kid.

On it.

I think you overestimate the importance of Jarhanpur to me, Superman.

That was just a bonus.

I'm not killing you so the Boravian military conflict can proceed.

I created the Boravian military conflict so I'd have an excuse to kill you!

Once you involved yourself by you, I can easily

get our government support in nullifying you.

Why?

Because you're destroying us!

10Y! 13B!

You're driven by envy, Luthor.

It couldn't be more obvious.

No shit.

I'm not dim.

I'm aware Envy consumes my every waking moment.

13L.

I know!

When they mention Galileo or Einstein or one of these other twits in the same

breath as me, I feel a tide of vomit burn the back of my throat.

But at least Galileo did something.

He wasn't summoned.

He wasn't some dope fiend delusion catapulted onto this planet just to have the world fawn over

him because his strength illuminates how weak we all really are.

So my Envy is a calling.

It is the sole hope for humanity because it is what has driven me to annihilate you.

Well, what are you smirking at, you idiot?

Brain beats brawn.

Sorry, Chump.

No!.. No! No! No!

You watching through those?

Tell him what to do.

Krypto!

Get the toy!

36!

Come on, stupid dog!

Charlie down!

12C! Delta down!

Hotel down!

No!.. Bravo down!

Bravo down! I just said that, Ellie!

Alpha down!

Lex?.. The Raptors have arrived.

Kill him!

Good luck with that!

Hey!

This ain't playtime.. quit messing around!

We have to get to Luthor to stop the rift!

I'm not messing around.

I'm doing important stuff.

It's going to reach a Bakerline in a minute.

There are people there.

Let's go.. We'll never make it in time!.. Come on!!

Lex!

I'm closing the freaking rift!

No, they chose him!

Let them die!

We'll close it from the bunker before it gets to a city I care about.

Open the portal!

Not bad.

Let's go.

Safety first, people!

Hey! Hey! All the codes and records are in here..I can help!

I don't need your help!

I'm the goddamn Mr. Terrific.

You piece of shit alien!

That is where you've always been wrong about me, Lex.

I'm as human as anyone.

I love, I get scared.

I wake up every morning and despite not knowing what to do, I put one foot in

front of the other and I try to make the best choices I can.

I screw up all the time.

But that is being human.

And that's my greatest strength.

And someday, I hope, for the sake of the world, you understand that it's yours too.

Oh, that's beautiful.

But none of this matters, you patronizing clown.

The government gave me the authority to kill you.

If not today, then...

Oh! Oh! No! No! No! Krypto! Stop!

Krypto drop him! Krypto drop him!.Drop him!.

Dude.

Got it.

Lex!

What?!

Well, this just in.

An absolute bombshell from the daily planet.

Billionaire Lex Luthor aligning himself with a foreign entity, believe it or not.

Luthor has been giving them billions and billions of dollars worth of free weapons. ..

Lex Luthor has been working covertly with Vasil Gherkos and

the Boravian government to overthrow the country of Jarhanpur.

Luthor has been giving them... We had Luthor on this show many times.

Little did we know, he was a traitor.

The foolishness of that.

The one thing conservatives and liberals can

finally agree on is that Lex Luthor sucks.

The whole world turned against Superman.

And we all owe him an enormous apology.

He is, of course, the hero we always thought he was.

That was sick!.. Guy!.. Maybe he should join the group.

Please! I mean no offense.. but that creepy mug is what you want representing the Justice Gang?

Justice Gang? That's a cool name.

You're in!

I'm glad you're not concerned about the Metahumans, Rick.

Because now they're the ones making the rules.

Fleurette!

Mom!

Get his bald ass to Belle-Reve!

Now we can be together forever!

Ms. Lane.

Oh, hi.

I thought I might give you an interview.

I could fill you in on all the behind the scenes.

Sure.

I think that would be... Great.

How about over here, for an interview?

Ay!

I love you, too.

How long have they been hooking up?

About three months, I think.

Got this place cleaned up pretty good.

I love that.

Cleaned yourself up pretty good, too.

You think so?

Yeah.

I think it gives you character.

Maybe one day you'll give me a name.

Well... Four is a name?

So is Gary.

Ah shit!

Sir, I think your cousin has returned.

Yeah.

What the hell, dude?

Why did you move the door?

I didn't move the door.

Where is my dog?

Okay, well, this is why he has behavioral issues.

No boundaries.

It's not healthy, isn't it?

Thanks for watching him, bitch!

She likes to go and party on other planets.

Planets with red suns.

Because of our metabolism can't get drunk on a planet with a yellow sun.

If I had any emotional capacity whatsoever, I'd be concerned about her partying.

Yeah.

Superman, would you like to see the footage of your parents?

He finds it soothing.

Oh!

Yeah, Gary.

That'd be nice.