Original subtitles

Are ya ready, kids?

Aye-aye, Captain!

I can't hear you!

Aye-aye, Captain!

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

♪ Absorbent and yellow and porous is he! ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

♪ If nautical nonsense be something you wish ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

♪ Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish! ♪

- ♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! - Ready?

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

Argh!

♪ laid-back music playing ♪

Ah. Nothing beats a cool drink on a lazy river, eh, Patrick?

You said it, pal!

♪ ominous music plays ♪

Waterfall!

♪ lively, whimsical music playing ♪

Glove World thanks you for riding Contusion Falls.

Come again, after you've healed.

Oh, we will!

Could be sooner!

♪ music fades out ♪

♪ whimsical musical transition ♪

♪ light, playful music playing ♪

Patrick!

It's the best time of the day!

Barbecue time?

Nope!

I'm talking about scrapbooking!

We're gonna save the memory of today forever!

Forever! Oh boy!

Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy!

What the...?

Let's see.

The old days, good old days...

Oh, here it is!

You belong with the classics!

There.

Now I'll always remember today exactly as it happened!

Memory lane!

Wow!

I've always wanted to remember

to remember things!

Remember this? When I could fly?

- Nope. - Oh, well...

How about this one?

When we performed at the Bubble Bowl?

No.

Well, you'll definitely remember...

when I ripped my pants!

You sure you remember it?

'Cause that looks like my dad ripped your pants!

That's odd.

I definitely remember ripping my pants.

But I don't remember being your dad.

- Or your mom. - ♪ tense music plays

Or your grandpa!

Oh, yeah!

I don't remember any of those people!

Patrick! Do you know what that means?

SpongeBob!

I do not.

It means something terrible is going on!

We have to get to your parents' house right away!

♪ dramatic musical transition ♪

♪ whimsical music playing ♪

Garçon!

Another round of double-scoop sundaes,

s'il vous plaît!

Don't you two have somewhere else to be?

Oh my gosh! He's right!

Better make those sundaes to go!

♪ dramatic musical transition ♪

♪ laid-back music playing ♪

Hello? Mr. And Mrs. Star?

Oh! The kitchen!

Mom must be cooking!

♪ mysterious music plays ♪

There you are!

Oh boy! Mom must be making

her famous trasherole!

The toaster's gone feral and it seems hungry.

Hurry! Let's feed it your wallet!

♪ intense music plays ♪

♪ whimsical music plays ♪

Quick thinking, Patrick.

Now I'm quick thinking that my family's upstairs.

Let's go!

Between my dad and GrandPat,

someone's always in the bathroom!

Hello?! Anyone in here?

Must be Dad. GrandPat never flushes.

♪ dramatic music plays

Tinkle's gone feral too.

- This is a bit of a mess. - ♪ music stops ♪

SpongeBob! That's it! A mess!

- ♪ bright music plays - Come on!

My old room.

- Ah! - Just like I left it!

Hey, maybe there's clues in here

about where everyone went!

Yay! We get to play detective!

- Remember, no clue is too small! - ♪ mystery music plays ♪

- Hmm. - Mm-hmm.

Is this peanut a clue?

Good work, Detective SquarePants.

Let me see.

Not a clue,

but let me know if you find more.

Is this contact lens a clue?

No, that's mine. Just fell out.

Oh.

Here you go!

Why, thank you!

♪ ominous music playing ♪

Hm?

♪ music intensifies ♪

Stand back, you monster!

SpongeBob knows karate,

and I'm not afraid to make him use it!

Hi-yah...

- ♪ music stops - Whoa!

I don't want to fight you. I need your help!

Oh, Squidina! Thank goodness!

We've been looking everywhere for you and your family!

Well, you won't find them here.

It all started with Patrick's Time Closet

a few weeks ago...

♪ ethereal musical transition ♪

Patrick won't mind if I store

some of my extra cleaning supplies in here!

Whoop.

♪ gentle, fanciful music plays ♪

Emergency! Ah!

This cold jumbo calzone needs re-heating, stat!

Perfect! Patrick's walk-in microwave!

Oh, the toilet's on the fritz

and I already had my prune macchiato!

I can't hold it any longer!

Perfect! Patrick's walk-in microwave!

Alright, I'm gonna need about six hours of privacy, so--

And it grabbed 'em like this!

Guh! And it chomped 'em like that!

Rawr!

Don't worry. I've got a plan

to stop the Time Closet!

All we have to do is--

♪ ominous music plays ♪

I can't believe it ate Squidina!

I was just starting to remember I had a sister!

With her gone, it's up to us.

We have to make sure the Time Closet

doesn't get anyone else!

Oh, you keep that door to yourself, you-you-you--

Starting now!

♪ suspenseful music plays ♪

We're hunting a closet. Closets have doors.

In fact, closets are mostly door!

Your math checks out, partner!

To catch a door, we have to think like doors!

But how?

♪ whimsical music plays ♪

Hey, fellas! I can help you out of this jam!

I'm a door!

Dutch! You're a door?!

Always have been, Patrick!

And I can teach you everything you need to know.

You just have to open the doors of perception

in your minds!

♪ psychedelic music plays ♪

- ♪ music stops abruptly - Hm...

Sounds kind of hippie-dippie.

Don't knock it till you've tried it!

Step over the threshold of knowledge!

It all hinges on one thing:

Unlocking the potential of--

♪ ominous music plays ♪

- ♪ music stops - Patrick! I get it!

All doors love puns!

We can use one of those lame jokes

to outwit the Time Closet!

Of course!

I don't get it.

Say, Patrick. When is a door not a door?

When it's a jar!

Thank you, folks. We're here all night!

♪ whimsical musical transition ♪

There! Good as new!

What now?

Your family took my place in the past!

Now we go back in time and rescue 'em.

First stop: Squidina in Rock Bottom!

Sure, sure, we could do that.

Or we could watch some TV!

Well, I am pretty tired from all that fleeing we did earlier.

Oh, what the heck!

We'll watch what happened to Squidina and then rescue her!

Yay! TV party!

Can I have some popcorn?

Shh! I'm watching my stories!

Patrick!

I think we're on the wrong...

...bus!

Whoa!

But, sir, we need to get back

to Bikini Bottom!

Oh, well.

Where am I? When am I?

Squidina?!

What are you doing here?

Well, a few years from now--

Huh?

Never mind. Let's just get outta here!

Where are here?

Look. Rock Bottom...

I don't wanna be here, SpongeBob!

I wanna go home!

Okay, you two wait here.

There's a bus station over there,

so I'm gonna go get a schedule.

- This place is so creepy. - ♪ ominous music plays

And so cinematic!

Hey, Squidina. The bus is here.

Squidina!

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Oh, Neptune!

Oh, well. I'll grab the next bus to Bikini Bottom

and get back to the Time Closet.

And grab some B-roll!

Next. Next.

Next.

Looking bizarre.

♪ playful eerie music plays

Uncanny!

Ooh! Teenage ne'er-do-wells.

The bus!

The bus!

Oh great, I missed another one.

♪ grunge music plays

I don't want any trouble.

I'm just, uh, waiting for the bus!

Sounds... ...boring.

Yeah!

Buses are for squares!

Come take a ride with us!

Huh? Oh, uh, my Rock Bottomese is a little rusty.

Uh, no... ...thank you.

Come on!

The next bus isn't for... ...hours!

We're gonna... ...pull some pranks!

It'll be... ...fun!

It could be great footage.

The future will always be there, so I can get back to it later.

Okay, I'm in!

Oh, right.

Alright!

My name is...

This is...

And that's Mike.

I'm Squidina!

♪ whimsical musical transition ♪

Ooh!

♪ whimsical musical transition ♪

Krusty Krab. Make it quick.

Hi!

I'd like to order...

...300 Krabby Patties.

Hold the Krabby...

...and the patty!

I told you kids to stop calling here!

- Huh? - ♪ ominous music plays ♪

Hey, could I get a refill?

This one's... ...a classic!

I can't... ...wait!

♪ gentle, comical music plays ♪

Hmm?

You're the coolest kids

I've ever... ...met.

Aw, shucks!

I wanna hang here for days.

Bikini Bottom can wait!

And so can... ...the future!

Wait.

Oh, you guys got me!

You guys!

Cool.

♪ gentle music plays ♪

Aw, man, I lost my footage.

Sorry, Squidina.

But hey, we fixed the Time Closet!

Uh... good work.

And look, we fixed my precious memory.

♪ angelic choir plays ♪

Okay, let's find the rest of your family.

Oh, oh! I found Dad!

Hey, Dad, why are you so small?

Don't worry, he'll be bigger when we bring him back.

Aha! Here's Goo Lagoon!

Let's go get him!

- No, no, no! - Whoa!

It's more fun to watch first!

♪ surf rock music plays ♪

♪ tense music plays ♪

- Whoa! Oww! - ♪ music stops ♪

Hey, pal, have you seen a jumbo calzone around here?

Mm-mm.

Well, back to the hunt!

Could I borrow a couple of these?

Mm-hmm.

What?! Say, that was my son's little friend!

I wonder if he's seen my calzone!

And now, with the addition of two,

count 'em, two marshmallows.

Heya, sonny! Have you seen a big calzone?

Hi, Mr. Star.

I'm kind of in the middle of impressing everyone.

Ooh, pumping iron, huh?

Yeah, I could give you a few pointers.

Well, I suppose...

Keep your ankles as wide as possible.

Knees locked together.

Cross grip is my preferred method.

Back nice and rounded. Head high. Tongue out.

Nostrils flared.

♪ And sing ♪

That's alright.

Let me show you how it's done. Now watch closely.

- This is what they call... - ♪ heroic music plays ♪

..."dad strength."

Uh...

♪ music stops ♪

Huh?

Mr. Star, that was hilarious!

I had no idea you were so funny!

Larry likes ripped pants!

In that case, here's another fatherly tip:

Always carry an extra pair of pants.

♪ whimsical music plays ♪

Ah!

Oop!

If it was anybody else,

that joke would grow stale and tiresome before long.

But I could watch you rip your pants

all day long, dad-dude!

Let's hear it for Mr. Star!

Cecil!

Cecil! Cecil! Cecil!

Ripped Cecil.

Fashion.

Ripped Cecil. Fashion.

Ripped Cecil.

Fashion.

Ripped Cecil. Fashion.

Mr. Cecil, the models are ready.

Well, let 'em rip!

♪ dynamic music plays ♪

Cecil! Cecil!

Several thousand ripped pants later...

♪ calm music plays ♪

Who knew ripping my pants would lead to a fashion empire?

Mr. Cecil, there's a large group of people

outside for you.

Those must be my adoring fans!

Thank you, Linda!

Season's greetings, everyo--

- Oof! - ♪ tense musical stinger ♪

Hey, what was that for?!

F-For convincing us to rip all our clothes

in the m-middle of winter!

Yeah! Now we're all f-f-f-freezing!

Now can we pull him out of there?!

Shh! It's getting to the good part!

Now, now, everyone!

I think I get what you all want.

You want...

the ultimate rip!

What?!

Well? What did you think?

Get him!

Both of him!

Uh...

oh...

Huh? Yeep!

♪ ominous musical stinger ♪

Thanks for saving me, everyone!

Eww, Dad! Your spleen is showing.

I thought I felt a breeze! Let me take care of that.

Perfect!

We did it!

My photo's back to normal.

Yeah, but take a look at this one!

The time I pulled Neptune's spatula from the grease!

But I'm not holding it.

Your mom is!

My mom is what?

Let's investigate!

Behold the ultimate cooking utensil,

- the golden spatula! - ♪ majestic music plays ♪

It says here, "Many have tried to pull

this spatula from this ancient grease

and all have failed!"

Whoa!

"Only a fry cook worthy of King Neptune himself

can wield..."

"...the golden spatula!"

- Wow! - ♪ angelic choir singing ♪

Take a picture of me and the spatula.

Goodness, where am I?

Hi, Mom!

Hello, son!

SpongeBob, don't touch that filthy thing!

We don't know where it's been!

I'll just scrub it nice and clean.

♪ cheery music playing ♪

Here you go, sweetie!

Thanks, Mrs. Star!

Ooh. So shiny!

♪ fanciful music plays ♪

Huh?

♪ dramatic regal music playing ♪

Yes!

At last,

someone worthy of being the royal fry cook.

Who has freed my mighty spatula from the grease?

There's no way you pulled the spatula out.

You are but a lowly sponge,

puny,

an insignificant weakling.

Why, these feeble little baby arms

could never release my divine spatula

from its greasy prison!

Oh, sorry, your highness. It wasn't me.

Uh, actually, it was me, Bunny Star.

Her friends call her "Mom."

Ah, yes!

You are obviously superior!

Why, look at your muscular arms!

Keeping things clean keeps me fit!

You have the physique of Atlas!

Make poses with me!

♪ mellow jazz music playing ♪

♪ music ends

Clearly you possess the strength to become

the personal chef of King Neptune!

Ooh! I've never cooked for a deity before!

Come, Bunny. Let us depart to my palace...

in Atlantis!

Good luck, Mrs. Star!

You'll need to pedal.

Bye, Mom! See you at dinner!

♪ regal music playing ♪

Ooh! Ahh!

Behold my divine kitchen!

Nothing like a kitchen of the gods

to whip up a simple home-cooked meal!

Huh? Ahh!

Mmm! Have a taste!

♪ whimsical music playing ♪

What is that unusual flavor?

Why, it's just the delicious flavor

of my famous boot noodle soup!

♪ quirky musical stinger ♪

I just lost my appetite...

Oh, nonsense. You're a big growing god!

I don't feel so good...

Oh my, someone has a case

of the rumblies in their tummy wummy!

Let's get you in bed, mister, and fix you up!

My kingly docket is incredibly full today

but I'm far too ill to complete my royal duties!

Whatever shall I do?

Don't you worry, I'll handle all your royal business!

But how will I know what to do?

When my kingdom is in peril,

my mighty trident will glow

and take you to where you are needed!

Thank you, but when was the last time

you gave this trident a good scrubbing?

Please! That trident is an ancient Atlantean artifact!

No abrasive cleaners!

Oh my! I have to get to work!

Be sure you get lots of rest, sweetie!

Yoink!

♪ dramatic, heroic music playing ♪

♪ whimsical music playing ♪

Oh, look at the little guppies!

Whee!

Now, why did you take me here?

♪ dramatic music playing ♪

Goodness, we can't have that!

Phew! I finally finished repainting the Chum...

...Bucket.

♪ triumphant music playing ♪

- Bye, kiddies! - ♪ dramatic music playing ♪

Well, we can't have that either!

How am I gonna clean all this up?

♪ low, quirky music playing ♪

Hm! That was easy.

Whoa!

♪ intense music playing

You are grounded, Mr. Flood!

Go to your room!

♪ music ends ♪

Here I go again!

Thank someone that's over!

Oh no...

♪ dramatic music playing ♪

Oh dear, someone's having a little temper tantrum!

♪ light, cheery music playing ♪

Now, you just settle down, sweetie.

I'm okay!

If anyone cares...

- Praise Bunny! - ♪ triumphant music playing ♪

Praise Bunny! Hooray!

♪ bright musical transition ♪

Why you!

What'd I do?

Who knew?

All I needed to do was fake a bellyache

and I'd have my first day off in a millennia!

We interrupt this program for Bikini Bottom breaking news!

Perch Perkins here reporting live

on Bikini Bottom's newest hero,

Bunny Star!

Excuse me, sir. What do you think

of our new guardian angel?

Who needs King Neptune when we have Queen Bunny!

Queen Bunny?!

I won't stand for anyone being more popular than me!

♪ dramatic regal music playing ♪

So, this is your new Queen, is it?

Bunny Star, I challenge thee

to the ultimate contest!

A herculean task to divine

who is the true god of the ocean!

Ooh! That sounds like a hoot!

You heard it here first, folks.

It's time for a god-off!

♪ majestic music playing ♪

Welcome to the Poseidome...

...where two powerful deities will battle it out

for Neptune's crown!

- Woo! Woo! - You can do it, Mom!

Their challenge...

Which one of these mighty titans

can defeat the savage Kraken?

I, King Neptune, will defeat the Kraken...

and I'll do it using my old trident!

Uh... bident.

Release the Kraken!

♪ dramatic music playing ♪

Quick, Patrick, grab your mom!

I love your new look, Mom!

Ahem! That's not your mom...

Oh hi, sweetie!

Looks like it's just you and me, Kraken!

Taste the mighty fury of Neptune, you foul beast!

♪ music ends ♪

Whoa! Who you callin' foul beast?

You're no beauty queen yourself, fella!

♪ dramatic music resumes ♪

Now I remember why I put this old thing in storage.

Oh, I forgot!

I still have your trident!

Oh! And I made sure to give it a good scrubbing!

Ho-ho! Feel the might of my invincible trident!

Huh?

I told her no abrasive cleaners!

♪ cheery, upbeat music playing ♪

Hey, who knew Neptune tasted so good?

I think I'll try him a second time!

This is what I get for playing hooky from work.

Ha! Tastes like chicken...

à la King!

We did it! We rescued Mom!

- ♪ quirky music playing - Ahh!

We'd better check the photo.

Hmm...

Phew! Thank Neptune, it's back to normal.

Eh, not sure we should be thanking Neptune for anything.

GrandPat is still lost in time!

Let's check the other photos!

Aww, my first day working at the Krusty Krab!

Well, that's not me.

It's GrandPat!

Hmm...

I didn't know GrandPat could cook!

Come on, let's see what happened.

This is gonna be good!

♪ mellow music playing ♪

I'm ready!

I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready.

I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready...

Go, SpongeBob!

Whoa!

There it is!

The finest eating establishment ever established for eating!

The Krusty Krab.

"Home of the Krabby Patty."

With a "Help Wanted" sign in the--

Huh?

Congratulations, GrandPat.

You're our new fry cook.

I hope it's not a problem working for your old frenemy.

I'm not working for you, Krabs.

I'm working near you.

Whatever you say, old-timer.

Ack-ack-ack-ack-ack-ack-ack-ack!

I was ready... I was ready...

♪ quirky, upbeat music playing ♪

Hey! It's the paperboy!

I'm not your paperboy anymore.

To me you'll always be my paperboy.

Paperboy!

I've worked in the world's finest underwater kitchens.

From the fountains of Versailles

to the reflecting pool of the Taj Mahal.

I can easily handle this dump.

I think I'll make myself something to eat.

♪ music ends

I was ready. I was ready. I was ready.

♪ vibrant music plays ♪

♪ music ends ♪

That sounded like hatch doors...

Do you smell it?

That smell.

A kind of smelly smell.

A smelly smell that smells...

smelly.

♪ ominous music playing ♪

Don't look at me.

All I smell are anchovies.

Anchovies?

- What? - Anchovies!

♪ intense music playing ♪

Ah! GrandPat!

Start cooking Krabby Patties,

pronto!

Huh?

One single file line is all I ask!

Ha. The heck with this.

Good luck, Krabs. I quit!

♪ dramatic music playing ♪

- Pssssst. - Huh?

Who's psssssting me?

It wasn't me.

Down here.

I tell ya what, I'll give you one dollar

for that Krabby Patty.

Plankton? This patty's too big for a little squirt like you.

Your eye is bigger than your stomach.

I'm not gonna eat it, you imbecilic invertebrate!

I need it for, uh...

...something else.

In that case you can have it...

for five hundred smackers!

What?!

Oh, all right.

It's still cheaper than a killer robot.

♪ suspenseful music playing ♪

Not gonna eat it, eh? Hmm.

♪ dramatic suspenseful music playing ♪

Whatcha plannin' on doin'

with that Krabby Patty, short stuff?

Well, if you must know...

I'm gonna rule the world!

Oh yeah?

First, I'll replicate this patty.

Then with all the money I make from selling them...

I'll raise a terrifying clone army

to take over the whole world!

After that, who knows?

Maybe, just for the heck of it,

I'll burn it all down!

That last part is just between us.

When's all this fun gonna start?

As soon as I push that red button.

That button?

Looks complicated.

Nah. It's just a simple little button.

Any idiot can push it.

Any idiot?

Any idiot.

This button? Any idiot?

Yeah, that's what I said. Any idiot can do it!

There's one thing you hadn't planned on.

What's that?

I'm any idiot.

Ha!

Formula acquired.

♪ intense music playing ♪

All hail the Grand Patty!

♪ dramatic music playing ♪

Huh?

For my next royal act of destruction,

I will set all of creation on fire...

again!

Suck-ups...

By all rights, that idea was mine!

They should be sucking up to me!

You had good taste in plans, tiny.

Now let's see if you have actual good taste.

Pain...

Ow.

How'd you like that, Krabsy?

I liked it better when I used to smush him!

GrandPat! The Time Closet went all wack-a-doodle ding-dong!

You shouldn't be here, GrandPat!

So we've come to return you to your proper timeline!

Oh!

Intruders!

Guards! Take them away!

♪ dramatic music playing ♪

Don't we get one last meal?

Well, that didn't work out for us.

I wonder how the rest of the world did.

Let's not do that.

Yeah. This time let's clobber him first!

No! I have a better solution.

I'll just rewind a bit and...

Everybody, into the Time Closet!

I was ready...

I wasready...

A hydro-dynamic spatula

with port and starboard attachments

and turbo drive!

Oh, sorry, keep the change.

I was ready... I was ready...

Here! Take this spatula,

fly to the Krusty Krab,

and save the day!

- What? - Trust me. You got this.

We got this.

Who are you, beautiful stranger?

You look kinda familiar.

I'm just a simple sponge...

with a job!

Now you have one.

Whoa!

Now, who's ready?!

I'm ready!

Who's ready?!

I'm ready!

Who's ready?!

I'm ready!

♪ bright, heroic music playing ♪

Huh? Ahh!

Come on, GrandPat.

Let's go back to the present.

No!

I was gonna play the stock market

and invest in Goofy Goober's!

I know who wins the Bubble Bowl!

Come on, Dutch!

Just look at me go!

♪ cheery old-timey music playing ♪

Patrick! SpongeBob! Come on!

Let's go, buddy.

What the heck was that all about?

Ooh! A Krabby Patty!

Huh?

Ow!

Five-second rule!

So...

do you think we averted the GrandPat apocalypse?

Uh, is that what the kids are calling it?

Only one way to find out.

♪ mellow music playing ♪

Looks pretty normal to me!

Wait, look!

Grannyville?!

We forgot about Granny Tentacles!

There she is!

♪ regal music playing ♪

Make way for Empress Granny!

This one's for sure going in my scrapbook!