Original subtitles

♪ [vocalizing] ♪

Hey, I just got a text from charles, y'all.

He got on the wrong bus. He's on the other side of town.

Other side of town? But our concert is in an hour.

Yeah, I know, but he wants us to warm up

And rehearse praise to the lord.

Charles said that?

- In text. - Okay, okay.

Well, if that's what charles said--

(woman) yeah, that's okay. We got this.

- We can do this. - [humming tone] we can do this.

We can do this. Come on, y'all.

- [humming tone] - [humming tone]

♪ five, six, seven, eight ♪

(all) ♪ we lift up to the lord ♪

♪ we give praise up to the lord ♪

♪ we sing merrily up to the lord ♪

♪ give thanks up to the lord ♪

♪ we lift up to the lord ♪

♪ we give praise up to the lord ♪

♪ we sing merrily up to the lord ♪

♪ give thanks up to the lord ♪

- ♪ I think you're off of your note ♪

♪ you're going higher than your note ♪

- ♪ pretty sure this is my note ♪

♪ in fact, I'm positive this is my note ♪

- ♪ because this is my note ♪

- ♪ pretty sure this is my note ♪

- ♪ could have sworn this was your note ♪

- ♪ that has never been my note ♪

- ♪ well, we can't have the same note ♪

♪ so one of us is wrong ♪

- ♪ why don't you worry about your note? ♪

♪ I'll take care of my own note ♪

- ♪ but it's a really, really, really bad note ♪

- ♪ you are not charles ♪

- ♪ I never said that I was charles ♪

- ♪ well, you're acting like you think you're charles ♪

- ♪ look, I know that I'm not charles ♪

- ♪ you can say that again ♪

- ♪ well, you're both off your notes ♪

♪ and it's messing with the rest of our notes ♪

- ♪ speak for yourself, nyema, I'm holding my note ♪

- ♪ I wasn't trying to single you out ♪

- ♪ you said everyone was off their notes ♪

(all) ♪ not everything is about you, gina ♪

Huh. ♪ kiss my black ass! ♪

(all) ♪ oh, dear lord ♪

♪ where is ♪

♪ charles? ♪

- This don't make no sense. - Come on, man.

[all talking at once]

[haunting western music]

♪ ♪

♪ [vocalizing] ♪

♪ [imitating african singing] ♪

♪ [both imitating african singing] ♪

♪ ♪

Well, that was a good one.

Gotta release the africa.

Yeah, you just got to get those short bursts of song,

So you can run away before [bleep]

Are trying to genocide your [bleep].

Mm, that's why-- that's when you get those--

♪ [anguished cry] ♪

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

♪ [imitating african singing] ♪

That's the guy that...

(key) ♪ [imitating african singing] ♪

Did not make it out.

That's, like, swahili for "get me out--I'm hit!"

"where'd y'all motherfuckers go?"

Yeah. You know what I'm talking about?

♪ [imitating african singing] ♪

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

♪ [imitating african singing] ♪

[yells]

[yells]

[yells]

[yells]

[yells]

[growls]

[yells]

[both grunting]

[yells]

Ah!

Ahh.

[growls]

[grunting]

[yells]

[yells]

[all yelling]

[yells]

[all yelling]

[yells]

[all yelling]

[yells]

[all yelling halfheartedly]

[yelling]

[all yelling halfheartedly]

[yelling]

Yeah, uh.

[panting]

[growls]

[babbling in a high voice]

[all yelling]

Ha ha ha!

[growls]

[yells]

Oh, no.

[all grunting disapprovingly]

Uh...

Oh.

Uh...

Oh...Ah!

[all cheering]

(all) [questioning grunts]

[straining]

[imitating baby crying]

[all grunting disapprovingly]

Wha--ah, ah?

[all grumbling]

Huh.

Ah.

Uh...

[grunts]

Uh...

[babbling grunts]

[all cheering]

[grunting]

[all murmuring]

[all cheering]

[grunts]

[all grunting disapprovingly]

[grunts]

[all cheering]

[all grunting disapprovingly]

[all cheering briefly]

Ah.

Ah?

[babbling grunts]

Ah--uh...

Uh...

[mumbling]

[continues mumbling]

Ah. Ah. [clears throat]

Ah.

Ah!

[all cheering]

[all laughing and cheering]

[grunting rhythmically]

[all cheering]

Ah.

Ah!

Oh.

Ah!

[all grunting disapprovingly]

[haunting western music]

Jordan, would you say I'm gullible?

Mm...No.

I feel sometimes like I'm gullible.

So you believed me when I said

That you weren't gullible just now?

- Oh, darn it. Okay. - See what happened?

Wait a minute, so then, what else is not true

That you told me? Are you not danny glover's son?

[imitating danny glover] no, would I be able to talk

Like this if I wasn't danny glover's son?

That's a really good point. You wouldn't be able

To talk like that if you weren't...

- [mumbling] - danny glover's son.

I can't help talking like this.

[haunting western music]

[closing door echoing]

(man) [yelling indistinctly]

Hey, man.

You gotta let me out of here.

Oh, okay.

[keys jangling]

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

You tricked me.

I can honestly say I wasn't trying to trick you.

You weren't?

All I said was, "you gotta let me out of here."

There's no trick.

So I do have to let you out of here?

Yes?

Okay.

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

Bon voyage.

♪ ♪

Order's to let him go, I don't know why

He's in here in the first place. I don't know.

[sucks in air] [whispering] sorry.

Boy, you really got me in trouble.

Sorry.

Yeah, you must think I'm stupid.

Well, I'm not stupid. I'm smart, so--

You know how you could prove that you're really smart?

Oh, yeah, let me guess.

You want me to let you out of here again.

- Well. - You know what?

You think that you can trick me into letting you out again.

Well, you can't. 'cause this is my choice.

[dramatic music]

- Get the heck out of here. - All right.

All right?

Reverse psychology.

♪ ♪

(guard) sorry about that, guys. That was me, guys, my bad.

My bad.

[laughs] real nice.

Now they said they're gonna dock my pay, and if I let you

Out of here again, I'm gonna be severely punished.

I mean, what are you gonna do?

I'm actually surprised they haven't already

Thrown you in here with me.

No, prison is for bad guys.

You're a bad guy, and I'm a good guy.

Yeah, but you could see how, from my perspective,

I'm a good guy.

Wait, you're a good guy?

[dramatic music]

It doesn't seem like you understand what your job is.

Oh, oh, okay. I see what you're doing.

You're trying to manipulate me with reverse psychology.

- Well, it's not gonna work. - No.

[sad music]

It's not even worth going out there again.

Look, they just gon' get me and bring me back in here,

Just like they always do.

♪ ♪

Unless...

What?

No, I'm-- forget it, I don't want

To take advantage of you anymore.

Look, hey, no, no, listen. I'm not gonna fall for it,

Whatever it is. You may as well just tell me.

I was just gonna say that, like, if you were to help me...

Uh-huh.

Get past the guards...

Yeah, yeah.

And get all the way out--

Okay.

I really-- no, I have to tell you.

You need to think about this long and hard.

Weigh your options and consider

The ramifications of those options.

Like heck I will.

[dramatic music]

- Let's go. - All right.

- I'm busting you outta here! - Shh.

Don't--don't yell, man.

You might as well ring the alarm.

- Good idea, yeah. - No--

[alarm blaring]

Look, look, he--ah! He's--

- Oh, hi, tom. - It was--

Good to see you guys. Yeah.

Oh, boy, I did it again, didn't I?

It's actually very ironic, 'cause when I was

A prison guard-- when I was a prison guard,

I wasn't allowed to talk to the prisoners.

That was the thing, they said to me,

"if you talk to those prisoners, you're gonna get in trouble.

You're gonna get in trouble." now that I'm in here with you,

I can talk as much as I want. Just babble on, and babble on,

And babble on, we can talk about anything you want. Any--any--

(male announcer) teaching center is brought to you by bmw.

The ultimate driving machine.

[upbeat rock music]

♪ ♪

Hello and welcome to teaching center.

I'm boyd maxwell, with today's top stories

From the exciting world of teaching.

And I'm perry schmidt.

Well, now we know.

The long awaited announcement by star english teacher

Ruby ruhf has sent teaching fans across the nation into a frenzy.

I've enjoyed my time in ohio very much,

But I'm pleased to announce that I'm taking my talents

Back to new york city. Thank you very much.

Apparently, ps431 has made ruby an offer she couldn't refuse.

$80 million guaranteed over six years,

With another $40 million in incentives

Based on test scores.

This salary puts her right up there

With rockridge elementary's katie hope

And william wu out of--

Colgate magnet!

All right, let's take a look at yesterday's

High school teacher draft from radio city music hall,

Where central rapids high,

Recipient of the worst test scores last semester,

Made the first pick that was no surprise to anyone.

[all cheering]

For the first pick, central rapids high takes...

Calculus teacher mike yoast from tulsa teacher's college.

[all cheering]

(key) and just like that, you're a millionaire. Ha ha.

(peele) mike yoast is an unbelievable story,

His father living from paycheck to paycheck

As a humble pro football player.

Kid was a natural mathlete.

You know he's gonna buy his mom a house.

- Oh, you know this. - Oh, there's no way

- Around that. - [laughs]

You owe your mom. [laughs]

(announcer) today's highlight of the day is brought to you

By the 100% black angus beef thickburger

On a fresh-baked bun from carl's jr. And hardee's.

Now it's time for the highlight of the day.

[rock music]

Star history teacher ashley ferguson has been

Running up them test scores over at vinz clortho high.

- Okay. - Whoo.

Confederate forces fired first.

Can anyone tell me where this battle took place?

Now, look at this.

She looks left, then right,

Looks past the students with their arms up in the air,

- Spots max near the back... (key) whoo.

Sees that even though his hand isn't up, he's engaged.

Max?

It was fort sumter?

That's right.

Oh, come on. See what she did there?

She's bringing a introvert into the discussion, y'all.

That's a teacher of the year play right there.

That's right, boyd. You know, the confidence gained

By max by answering that question correctly

Will enhance his performance throughout the rest of the year.

No doubt. Coming up after the break,

Mayfield prep trades french teacher janeane lowe

To skyline high for a head librarian

And two lunch ladies to be named later.

And we'll get the inside scoop on the impending

- Teacher's strike that could... - Uh-oh.

Cripple the season.

Next up, on teaching center.

Whoo.

[rock music]

[dramatic music]

(ruby voice-over) strength courses through me.

I am velocity.

I am power.

[school bell ringing]

♪ ♪

I am a leader, a believer.

♪ ♪

I am the force that guides.

♪ ♪

I am the gateway to what is possible,

The path to the future.

I am the future.

♪ ♪

(male announcer) the all-new 2015 6 series is here.

Meet the new teacher's pet.

[haunting western music]

You know what? I'm not gon' be--

I'm not gonna be doing no commercials.

- None? - I'm not gonna sell

My [bleep] out. I'm gonna keep my integrity.

That's good, 'cause that way, you don't have to ever worry

About buying a car or anything like that.

But what, just for argument's sake,

What kind of figures are people getting these days?

Well, like, if it was a sam--

You know, maybe samsung or something,

You might make $750,000, or something like that.

750...

Yeah, yeah.

- Thousand. - I mean, you'd have to give up

- Your phone--your iphone. - I'm in.

- What? - I'm in.

I don't think there's an offer on the table, or anything.

Let's find one.

Well, what about your, um, artistic integrity?

$750,000.

[bleep] 750, 500.

- What would you--would you-- - 250.

Take it easy. Now, wait a second.

We'll do it together.

Okay, yeah, but we wouldn't just do

A commercial for anybody, now.

- We wouldn't do it for anybody. - Sss...

- I mean, if, you know-- - if they got $100,000 I am.

Okay, let's say that the ku klux klan came

For us to do a commercial.

For $100,000?

Well, [bleep] they're giving back to the black community

At that point-- me.

[haunting western music]

[haunting western music]

- Best comic book adaptation... - Oh, yeah.

- To film hand down. - It's--oh, yeah.

- No argument. - Oh, yeah.

Oh. See you later, girls.

- All right. - Oh, yeah.

Um, I know I'm in the minority here, but I don't really like

The christopher nolan batman movies.

- [scoffs] - I don't.

I really just feel like they're...Overrated.

Okay.

[all laughing]

Well, that's, um, that's just an opinion.

You see, that's why I prefaced it by saying,

"I know I'm in the minority."

Awkward.

[both snickering]

You know, what, no. No.

Not really. It's not awkward,

At least not until you said "awkward."

Now it's awkward, because of what you said.

Anyway.

Anyway, what? Anyway, what?

Really, 'cause when you say "anyway,"

Then you have to follow it up with an actual contribution

To the conversation we're having.

- Yikes. - No, look at me.

Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me.

There's no "yikes," and the reason why

There's no "yikes" is, there's nothing scary

About this situation, okay?

It's a very low-stakes situation.

- All right.

No, not "all right." come here. No.

Don't look at him. Don't look at either of those guys.

Look at me, all right?

"all right," what?

'cause after you say "all right,"

You have to follow that up with something.

Don't do it.

Don't look at them.

Do not look at them.

No--no. Do not look at them.

Do not look at them. Don't do it.

Tell us how you really feel.

Okay, you know what? I'll tell you how I really feel.

Listen, I really feel like you're an asshole

Who has nothing interesting to say.

So what--oh. No. Don't.

No, don't look at them. Turn your head.

Turn it. Right here.

Tell me an opinion that you have about something.

Just one opinion that you have about anything at all.

Just share an opinion. Anything. Share an opinion.

Share an opinion. Share an opinion.

Share an opinion right now. Just off the top of your head.

Share an opinion. Anything.

Just one opinion, that's all I'm asking.

Share one opinion right now.

- Share it. Share an opinion. - Ah, ah, ah...

I don't have an opinion, and that's why I just like

Everything that everyone else likes in pop culture.

[groans]

[sobs]

[sobbing]

Don't look at me.

Don't look at me! Don't look at me!

[sobbing]

Okay.

[haunting western music]

Can you recall the last place you felt out of place?

I feel a little out of place everywhere, to be honest, like--

Mm, that's the mark of a genius.

I...Can't say I disagree with you.

But...These equations happening in my head, these...

Oh, boy. What have I done?

Ideas--nay, concepts.

♪ I'm gonna do my one line here ♪

Oh, yeah.

[yelling]

Ra!

[babbling]

Ya, ya?

You can just use english when you're talking to me, man.

Okay, listen to me. I'm just saying,