Original subtitles

Oh, morning, Gary. In a hurry?

Oh, well, I've got this... Thing.

Right. Like yesterday's thing?

Not exactly.

A bigger thing?

Oh, yes, it's a much bigger thing.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Hey, thanks for clearing that up. You have a good thing, all right?

Right.

He amputates own limb.

Excuse me, but it's a medical emergency. Sir, you can't go back there.

Skateboarding and no rope.

Sir, can I help you?

I'm just looking for... Doctor?

Excuse me, good luck.

I'm looking for... Sir, I'm going to... Hunt Riley!

Todd!

Hey!

What's the problem, dude? What do you think you're doing, kid? You want to be

called Stumpy the rest of your life?

Stumpy? That'd be cool.

Todd Reilly, what are you thinking?

He's just trying to speed things up. I don't believe him.

Hey, hey, hey.

Thanks.

That could have been my entire practice down the tubes.

But how did you know?

Oh, I was at the dentist's office next door. Dr. Leonard?

Dr. Leonard, who was doing some bridge work for me.

And he told you there was a kid in my office about to cut off his own arm?

Well, there were some kids in the waiting room, and they were talking

crazy Todd Riley. He had broken his arm. He had a cast on it.

You're looking kind of pale there, aren't you?

Are you all right?

Oh, yes, yes.

It's all right.

Thanks.

What if you knew, beyond a doubt, what was going to happen tomorrow?

What would you do?

There is no easy answer for a guy who gets tomorrow's news today.

describe this pain as as a ice pick in my stomach.

And you've had it for several weeks?

Well,

it comes and goes.

Look, Doc, you know, I shouldn't have taken up your time. No, no, forget about

it. You did me a huge favor.

I'm going to recommend a series of tests, but my preliminary examination

indicates you're in perfect health.

Well, now, It must have been something I ate, then.

No, could be.

Well, we could be talking about something psychological.

Psychological? Well, millions of people suffer from stress -induced ailments.

No offense, but you seem rather tightly wound to me.

What do you do for a living, Gary?

Well, I run.

I run a bar.

Everything's all right? You're not under any kind of financial duress?

No, no, we keep our heads above the water. What about lifestyle?

Is there anything in your daily routine that might cause you undue anxiety?

No, no, nothing I can... Oh, good morning, Gary. In a hurry?

Oh, well, I've got this... Thing.

Right. Like yesterday's thing. Not exactly.

There is one thing.

My working conditions, they...

They're such that sometimes I have to... to lie.

What were you doing?

I'll tell you what I was doing. I happen to have a friend who's a food

distributor, a seafood distributor, and he thought he delivered some bad food to

Giancarlo. So as a friend, I said, I will go and I will explain this to

Giancarlo for you. That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard.

You see, occasionally,

I have to lie to my employees.

You have to lie because of your working conditions?

Sounds to me like that could be the source of your stress right there.

You think so, huh?

You know, I'm going to recommend a colleague.

He's a very good psychologist who specializes in stress management issues.

psychologist? Well, I really don't think I need a psychologist. As a matter of

fact, Doc, I think I'm feeling a lot better right now. Gary, a pain like

it's a warning.

You don't want to ignore it forever.

My advice?

Tell the truth.

You'll live a lot longer.

Gary, I thought you'd be here an hour ago. The insurance guy was here and we

needed your signature. Oh, well, I'm sorry. I got stuck in traffic. There was

parade. Great.

What parade?

Oh, a winter solstice parade.

What?

I'm sorry, but I've got to... Are you feeling all right?

Oh, yes, I'm absolutely fine.

Hey,

Gary, what's the matter?

Oh, nothing. I'm absolutely fine. Are you sure?

Oh, yes, just my stomach. I'm going to go lay down.

What is it? My herbalist recommends it.

Guaranteed to settle your stomach.

What's in it?

Soda water, milk of magnesia, a touch of lemon juice, vanilla for flavoring.

What else?

Oh, and a teaspoon of ground beetle extract.

I should go.

What is wrong with that kid?

Forget about Patrick. What about a doctor?

Oh, yeah. I already saw a doctor this morning.

And? Well, he said that it's all in my head that I need to change my lifestyle.

Change your lifestyle?

Yeah, he said that I need to reduce my stress a little bit.

Stress? Well, you know, I need to stop lying all the time.

Stop lying all the time to certain people.

Oh, I get it. Like the winter solstice parade stress.

You heard that, huh?

Gary, I think this doctor's on to something.

It's pretty obvious what you have to do.

Yes.

What is it I have to do?

Tell Erica about the paper.

What, are you crazy? I can't do that. Why not?

Because that's not something you can take back. I mean, that's something,

it's out there, it's out there.

Gary, what are you so afraid of? Look, I'm not afraid of anything. It's just

that the paper is going to stay a secret, do you understand?

Okay, but guess what?

I know the secret.

Chuck knows the secret. Your mom, your dad, even Henry knows the secret. I

Erica should know, don't you think?

Maybe it's time.

No, I don't think.

Gary, take a look at yourself. You can barely get out of bed. The doctor was

right. There needs to be some changes.

It's just a stomachache.

For now.

There you go, Mr. Hopson. Thanks.

Hey.

There's no beetle dust in here.

Insect free.

Excuse me.

Good morning.

Hey, how are you feeling?

I'm just great.

Your stomach?

It's fine.

Which one?

Well, Gary's got a little tummy ache.

It's nothing, really.

Well, we're still on for tonight, right?

Huh? You know, high noon at the Rialto, remember?

Gary Cooper, Grace Kelly, lots of clocks.

Oh, right.

Yes, I'll be here.

Oh, you have to leave it, Seth.

And I'll, uh, I will be here.

What's up with him?

No idea.

McGinty's. I was just checking in. Anything going on there?

Oh, nothing we can't handle.

Here, you got to make it back in time for that movie, because I think Erica's

got a little pool going.

A pool?

Yeah, she's giving three to one odds that you won't make it.

Well, I'll be there.

I just got another stop to make. I'll be done in a few minutes.

You tell her I'll be back by six. No later, all right?

Okay. Bye.

The best days believe the fire was started by a faulty fuse box in the

Basement.

In the basement.

Excuse me.

Thank you.

Hey, Erica?

You know, I know there's got to be a good reason for it. You know, you've got

stop making excuses for him. I mean, if you wanted to be here, you'd just be

here.

Erica?

I really...

Sorry. I know it looks bad, but I meant... What is that smell?

Is the sewer back up again?

What, another parade?

Oh, no, no, no.

I ran into an old friend of mine. His car broke down.

And your dog ate it. I don't care, Gary.

Oh, I swear, I had every intention.

Gary? What is it, Gary?

It's not it.

It's not that bad. You can't even taste the beetles.

Gary, you have to call a doctor. No.

That's twice in two days. You can't keep passing out. Don't worry about it. I'm

doing something about it. Really? What?

Drastic measures.

Emergency room?

No, not the emergency room.

Tomorrow morning, the first thing, I'm going to go downstairs and I'm going to

tell her.

Really?

Oh, you'll see.

I suppose you already know this, but today is the day.

And when I'm done here, I'm going to go downstairs and I'm going to tell her

everything. So if you have any problems with that, any reasons why I shouldn't

tell her what I'm about to tell her, you should speak up now.

Anything at all?

All right, then that settles it.

I'm telling her.

Yeah, that's what I'll do.

Hey, how you feeling?

Much better, thank you.

Listen, have you got a minute?

No, about last night.

Look, you don't have to apologize.

No, but I need to explain.

There's nothing to explain. Yes, there is. Gary, I should have known better by

now. And that's why I need to explain. Gary, please, okay? Stop. Not necessary.

I've figured it out.

You've figured it out?

Yes, and I must admit I feel a little stupid, but I should have realized this

long time ago.

Someone told you, didn't they?

No.

You owe more credit than that. Nobody needs to tell me.

You mean you figured this all out by yourself and you didn't talk to Henry,

you? Why would I talk to Henry?

Now, Gary, I should have realized this when I first met you. I mean, you're a

classic case.

Classic case of what?

What are we talking about?

You tell me.

Fear of commitment.

You try and deny it.

You mean you're telling me that you realize that I have a classic case of

of commitment?

Tell me I'm wrong.

You're wrong.

Oh, come on, Gary.

I mean, look at you.

You're terrified of anything that even sounds like a relationship.

I mean, forget about committing to any one person. I can't get you to commit to

two hours in a movie theater.

Do you realize how many dates you've missed in the last month?

And I know we're not supposed to call them dates, but let's just be honest

That's what they were. And you didn't make a single one.

Now... I realize that I might be too persistent and slow to take a hint, and

don't know when to give up, but you, my friend, and don't go breaking out in

hives because I called you friend, but you have intimacy problems of global

proportions, and you're going to stand there and tell me that you don't have a

fear of commitment.

See, I don't have a fear of commitment.

Then what is it?

Well, Erica, sit down, please.

Just sit down, please.

What? I just want to make sure that you hear what I'm going to tell

you. I'm ready.

You know how I always... I'm acting strange all the time.

Well, that's because... You see, I get... Yes?

I get tomorrow's newspaper.

Today.

That's why I'm always running all around.

I mean, I'm out there preventing disasters.

I'm out there saving people's lives.

And that's who I am. That's what I do, you see.

I thought it was...

What's so funny?

No, I'm serious.

Oh, Gary.

You can stop now.

Gary,

just help me. Excuse us.

What?

Would you mind keeping this to yourself?

It's going to be a little difficult.

That's not funny.

Good morning, Marissa.

What are you doing here, Patrick? It's your day off, isn't it? Hey, I missed

you. Ah, you wanted to check, right? Yeah, that's it.

So, what are you doing today?

Apartment hunting.

You're moving out of the Fred house?

Yeah, it turns out there's this bylaw about members living in a house longer

than eight years. It's frowned upon by the national chapter.

Any leads on apartment?

Nope, but today is my lucky day. I can feel it.

Thank you very much. I'll see you tomorrow.

Good luck, Patrick. Bye.

And I know that it's hard to believe. I can barely believe it myself sometimes.

But if you could just take me seriously for one minute here.

I'll try.

Good. Because I happen to get this paper every morning on my doorstep. Only it's

no regular paper. Oh, no. This happens to be tomorrow's paper. Do you

that? Yeah, I understand.

You do?

Yeah, because actually just a couple of years ago, I used to get tomorrow's CNN

headlines in a filling in my molar. So I don't know what it's like. But

unfortunately, I lost that tooth in a bike accident. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll

you what. How about I show you the paper? Will that convince you?

Gosh, Gary, I guess it happened. Well, gosh, hear it. Gosh, hear it.

My paper.

No, no, I have my... The bar.

It's... Stay here.

Excuse me.

I just have to show her the paper. I should have done that in the first

There. You believe me now?

Wow. Exactly.

Do you know what this means?

That's what I've been trying to tell you. I get tomorrow's newspaper, too.

Only I get it a day late.

You what?

I don't get it.

Fear of commitment.

This isn't my paper.

Hey, Gary, a phone call for you. I'm busy. It's a psychologist. He says he

your number from a Dr. Futterman.

Psychologist?

I think you should take that.

You... But you... What?

Well, how could it have just disappeared?

Where did you last see it?

I came downstairs, and then I came into the barn. And then I went into the

office, so I must have left it in the barn.

You didn't move anything, did you? Nothing.

Well, did anyone else come in here?

Um, Patrick.

Patrick? He came to get his check, and he left.

Where'd he go?

He said he was going to spend the day looking for an apartment.

If he comes back, you tell him to stay here.

Okay, what about Erica?

What about Erica?

Do you want me to talk to her for you? No, I'm taking care of everything.

All right.

I'll tell you what.

If the doctor should call back, I suppose you could take his number for

Good thinking.

Can I help you? Yeah, I'm here about the apartment.

What apartment?

This one. I was interested in renting it.

But I live here.

Yeah, but it says right there that... They screwed it up.

Uncle Vic? They weren't supposed to run until tomorrow.

I was going to tell you.

What? You're kicking me out of this place?

Oh, listen, I've got other permits that I can look at. No, you stay.

You look like a nice kid. You look clean.

I'm clean?

Why don't you have a look around?

Well, go on.

Check out the floors. They're hardwood.

But I love this place.

I can't take it anymore, Marvin.

Ever since your girlfriend left you, you let this place go to hell.

I'll hire a cleaning service.

It's not just that. It's everything.

It's the crying, Marvin. The weeping into all hours of the night.

The music at 3 a .m. The Harry Chapin albums over and over again.

He has a very comforting voice.

Look, kid, I love you, but I can't live next to you anymore. You're out.

Well, what do you think?

Oh, well, it's a great place.

$5 .50 a month sound fair?

Uh, yeah, but I don't want to kick anybody out.

You're not kicking anybody out. I am.

Listen, if you don't take the place, somebody else will.

In either case, he's history.

Consider this 30 days notice.

I want you and Mr. Katz in a cradle out of here by the end of the month.

I'll start looking for a new place after work. I'll make some calls for you.

Here, you take this, fill it out, slip it under my door. If your references

check out, the place is yours.

Welcome home.

You heard anything from Patrick?

I left two messages, and his roommate said he'd be out all day.

That's true.

Easy there, tough guy.

I'm looking for Patrick.

And you need him because... Yeah, you know why I need him.

Tell me again, Gary. I like hearing it.

Gary, it's a landlord checking on Patrick's references. He says he was

this morning.

Huh?

Why does that have to happen?

Why wouldn't you use the crosswalk?

Sweet roll.

Over here.

Ouch. You got a couple of Rudolphs on you.

Uh, what's that?

Your ears. They're so red. Do they hurt?

Oh, yeah, they're gonna when they thaw.

You know, they invented these things.

They go on your head. They're called half.

Check them out.

Oh, look at that.

All hats 50 % off. I don't believe it. Is this my lucky day or what?

He's got problems.

We've all got problems.

Not like his.

I mean, I understand if he's not interested, that's okay. I'm a big girl

can take it. But the excuses he comes up with.

Getting tomorrow's newspaper today.

It's true.

He does.

You know what, Marcia? You're a really good friend to Gary. And he's lucky to

have you. But don't you see what you're doing?

What am I doing?

Well, it's one thing to tolerate your friend's superhero delusions, but you

don't have to sew him a cape. Tell me something, Erica. Have you talked to

about any of this?

Henry knows about Gary's magic paper.

Ask him.

These crampons are titanium alloy.

The best.

Use these for your glacier climbs, your frozen waterfall climbs.

I used a pair when I climbed El Cap.

You climbed El Cap at 10?

Oh, yeah, a couple years ago.

Yes, but they're supposed to be on sale. All hats, 50 % off.

Where did you hear this?

Oh, it's in the paper.

Marvin.

Marvin? Uh, yes.

Uh, excuse me.

Is there a problem, Mr. Bowers?

Oh, yeah, you again. How you doing? Uh, just getting a hat.

That's a nice one, real rayon.

You ran the ad a day early.

No, I told him to hold it. Oh, really?

Unless it's right here.

I try and give you a little bit of responsibility, and you just can't

can you? No, Mr. Bowers, I... That's it, Marvin.

Clean out your locker.

I don't have a locker.

Well, then, take off your vest.

Sorry. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Sorry.

Well, can you tell me how long ago he left?

I don't know, maybe an hour.

Well, do you know which way he went?

What do I look like, the neighborhood watch?

Well, could you give me a hint? Did he go east or did he go west? Who are you

looking for?

A fellow named Patrick Quinn. He's about so tall, he's... The guy who rented my

apartment. Yes, yes.

I just saw him down at Switzer's Sporting Goods store. He got me fired.

Nice guy, though. Bought me this hat.

Can you tell me where Switzer's is?

Lake and Dearborn.

Hey, this Quinn kid, is he clean?

Is he clean?

Ma 'am.

Excuse me. I think that you should use the crosswalk. You what?

This is a very dangerous street. Just yesterday, right here, a woman much like

yourself was hit by a bus.

It's like that one.

The crosswalk.

It's there for your safety.

Crossed at the green.

Not in between.

Thank you.

Hey, Marissa.

Hey, Henry, what's up?

What's going on with my mom?

What do you mean?

I mean, she asked me if Gary gets tomorrow's paper today.

And did you tell her?

No way. She's not getting anything out of me.

I said I didn't know anything about it.

Um, Henry, why didn't you tell your mother the truth?

Because Gary said I couldn't tell anybody, ever.

Oh, boy.

Patrick! Wait up!

You got my paper!

Hey!

Patrick!

Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't see someone else.

Mr. Hudson!

Patrick!

Where is... What? Where's my paper? Where's my paper? I don't have your

Yes, you do. You left McGinty's. You took my paper. Oh, no, no, no. That was

paper. No, no. You switched the paper. It's fine, Patrick.

Patrick, where's your paper? Oh, that was your paper next to my paper at the

bar? Yes. Where is it? I threw it out.

You what?

Well, I know. I should recycle.

Patrick, where is it?

Well, Mr. Alton, you really care about your newspaper.

Where's my paper?

In an alley. In a dumpster.

Show me. Show me.

Hurry up, run!

I'm running! I'm running!

Come on, move it!

Two years later, I'm still chasing garbage trucks.

You've done this before?

Come on, buddy, you know I don't have time for this. Okay, just another

okay? What did he lose anyway?

His newspaper.

What? I pulled over for some guy's newspaper?

Did I say newspaper? No, no, I meant his engagement ring.

He lost the ring.

Yeah, it was an accident. He, uh, you know, he had the ring in his pocket, and

then he washed his pants, and it fell into the lint filter, and then he

the lint filter.

It happens all the time.

He was nervous. He was going to propose tonight.

On it!

You said he threw out a ring.

Well, see, he had the ring in the newspaper so he could keep it fresh.

Ah, you're both nuts.

All right, listen, I got to get going now. Where?

I got to go over to Draper Street and find a refrigerator.

Okay, what should I do?

Well, go back to work, Patrick. Right, got it.

Mr. Hobson, it's my day off.

Mr.

Hey, Patrick.

Like any messages?

Well, Gary's been moving all over for you.

Oh, Mr. Hobson, yeah, I just saw him downstairs.

What was he doing?

Dumpster diving.

Dumpster diving?

Yeah, he lost his paper. Oh, okay, it was my fault. I threw it out. Anyway, he

went diving in his garbage truck after it.

To get his newspaper?

Yeah. Guess he didn't want to pony up another 35 cents.

You gotta respect that.

So, uh, where's Gary now, Patrick?

Oh, I don't know.

Um... Oh, he mentioned something about going down to find a refrigerator on

Draper Street, I think. I don't know. I couldn't really follow it. You know how

Mr. Hobson is. He's thinking on a level so far above the rest of us, you know?

You're Rebecca's mother? Have you seen her?

The refrigerator.

What? Were there some refrigerators out here?

I just picked them up.

A too old friend.

Oh, come on, come on. This time.

Expresso.

Expresso. Hey, stop that truck!

Hey!

Stop that truck!

Stop that truck!

Please! Somebody come out! Stop the truck! Stop it now!

Hey!

Stop that truck!

Yeah, well...

Yeah,

you got a problem with that

There you go, buddy. Rebecca!

What's going on?

Rebecca?

What are you doing?

What are you looking for?

That's not a girl.

Jim. Oh, my God.

Is she all right? Rebecca.

We didn't know. We didn't hear anything.

Rebecca.

Is she okay?

Rebecca.

Rebecca.

Come on.

You're going to be all right.

I got you. Unbelievable.

I got you. You okay?

Is that

your

baby?

She's okay.

Save that girl's life.

I did?

So you stopped the truck, didn't you?

Yeah, I guess I did.

I did that.

Marvin?

Oh, Marvin Erickson?

Yeah. Karen Stewart.

Evanston, hi. We were on yearbook together.

Yeah, you were the editor.

Assistant editor.

Yeah, assistant.

That was incredible, the way you stopped that truck. It was... That little girl

was in trouble.

But how did you know she was... I... I'm kind of hungry. Would you

like to get an early dinner?

I could eat.

That was just great.

I can't believe it. Watch your step.

What are you up to? I work for the Sun -Times. News photographer.

Hey.

Hey.

How's your stomach?

Better.

I don't know what I did this afternoon, but I feel much better.

Gary, I want to... Listen, you know, I know I was acting a little strange

earlier.

Well, I'd like to apologize.

And I thought that maybe we could forget about everything that happened this

morning.

I don't think so.

Oh, well, huh?

I think this is yours.

You want to tell me about it?

It was about two and a half years ago. At the time, my marriage was pretty much

on a bus. And I was living in a hotel.

Anyway, one morning about 6 .30, I woke up to the sound of a cat meowing outside

my door. I opened the door, and there it is. The new spider.

And the cat.

And, well, it took me most of the first day to figure out that this wasn't a

regular newspaper.

I didn't think that had happened.

At the time, I was still working as a broker.

A famous crime writer is coming to town to collect a prestigious award, but

there'll be more than just champagne in his glass at the party.

Murder Mystery in the courtroom next on Hallmark with Perry Mason and the case

of the poisoned pen.