Original subtitles

Do you know her?

She comes every morning at the same time.

We never actually met.

Do you see anybody on the beach?

No.

But that doesn't mean there wasn't anyone else here.

I was studying late last night. I'm working towards an MBA.

Look, it's a little early for me to be reading between the lines. What are you

trying to tell me?

It's as clear as a lifeguard insignia on his trunks.

Rip McCord was asleep on my beach.

I dozed off.

Only for a minute. It cost Wendy Hewitt her life.

You knew her?

I'm making a priority to know everyone on my sand.

Lieutenant Buck Denton, city lifeguard.

Wendy Hewitt is... was...

A freelance journalist and top -notch swimmer. She shouldn't have drowned. Are

you suggesting some kind of foul play?

I'm suggesting a lifeguard didn't do his job.

Look, it was an accident.

Lifeguards don't have accidents. People do. That's why we're here to save them.

You wouldn't know about that, would you? All right, now's not the time.

Yeah, now it's too late.

You turn your trunks in, you're fired.

I need this job.

Not as much as Wendy Hewitt needed you.

for mistakes when your job is saving lives.

Oh.

Medic!

Take care of him. I'll man the tower myself.

Hold it, folks. Let me see him.

Lifeguards are there for one reason. Save lives.

It's the only thing we think about from the minute we pick up our cans in the

morning until we peel off our suits at night.

I'm sorry. I start talking about saving lives and I can't stop. No, I find it

fascinating. Believe me.

Makes me want to just hurl myself in the ocean.

Don't eat without me, you said.

Order the French toast with a side of bacon, you said.

I'll be right in, you said. That was 45 minutes ago, Jack.

Excuse me, this is a medical emergency.

May I speak with you for a moment?

What the hell is wrong with you? Will you stop talking? Can you see that I'm

the middle of a very important professional consultation? Can you see

And what profession might that be? Oh, wait, let me guess.

Since we don't have any rocky scientists here at Community General, she must be

the new brain surgeon. Hey, hey, she's saved more lives than a lot of doctors

this hospital, okay?

Really? Yeah.

You stiff me again for breakfast like this, and you're going to have an

opportunity to sample her skills. Really? Yeah. You know, I'll kick your

butt all over this house. Oh, yeah, really? We'll see. I've got to get back

work, Dr. Stewart. It was nice meeting you. Hey, it was very nice meeting you,

Lecture. I'll walk you out of here. Go on, have a seat.

Morning. Morning.

Well, the good news is you're hardly fine.

The bad news is that woman isn't.

She died because I fell asleep.

Well, why don't we approach this one problem at a time?

Have you been under any stress lately?

No more than usual.

What usual is?

Well, um, there's my lifeguard job, of course, and my night job managing the

video store.

Studying for my MBA, which will probably be useless since no one's hiring, which

will leave me with thousands of dollars in student loans.

I'm still looking for a place to live since my girlfriend announced that she

a new guy and he's moving into our apartment, which is making it really

for me to find the time to see my grandmother since Grandpa died last

What is it, Doctor?

Do you know why I collapsed?

Well, I have a rough idea, yeah.

What amazes me is how you stayed standing as long as you did.

Is it something serious?

It's called exhaustion.

I can't be tired. I drank a dozen cups of coffee this morning.

Uh -huh.

Well, you're going to get some sleep now.

Look, I'd like to keep you overnight for observation, all right?

Okay. Okay, just relax.

Hi. Hi. How is he?

Well, physically he's fine, but...

Emotionally, you can imagine.

It's hard to believe he was asleep when one of you had drowned.

That lifeguard tower was littered with empty coffee containers.

He has been running on pure nervous energy.

You know, eventually, the human body is going to break down, no matter how many

stimulants you pump into it. Yeah, maybe.

We canvassed the area, and we came up with a guy who was out in a sailboat

around the time of the accident.

He says he saw a lifeguard run into the water.

Did you identify him? No, it was too far away.

Well, how did you know it was a lifeguard?

Well, he says he came out of the tower wearing red bathing trunks and carrying

one of those red floats.

When he came out of the water alone, the guy in the sailboat figured it was just

a false alarm.

You're suggesting that Rip let that woman drown?

I'm not suggesting anything, Dad. I'm just giving you an eyeball account.

But if a lifeguard had something to do with Wendy Hewitt's death, McCord was

only one on duty this morning.

Oh.

Mr. Briggs.

Mr. McCord. Good morning.

You look lovely this morning. I heard a rumor you left the IRS.

Utterly false.

I realize that an arrow view of the tax code doesn't see a cat as a dependent,

but if they would only realize that my cat's seaweed is like family. He's like

relative. Where is Dr. Sloan?

He's in his office.

Just kidding about the cat.

Ah, Miss McCord.

Mitchell, isn't it?

Somebody told me you quit the IRS.

Who starts these rumors?

Then it's not true.

I'd sooner stop breathing.

Well, if you're here because of that slight dip in my gross earnings, despite

the raise I got, you see, I was trying to income average, and I hardly made any

money in my team.

I want to see Dr. Sloan. Oh, go right in.

You don't even need an appointment. I won't even announce you.

Richard. No, I have not left the IRS.

You can't be here to audit me. I haven't filed my income taxes yet.

Or maybe this is your way of returning my phone calls.

Phone call?

What phone call?

You called?

After our evening out, you asked me to call. I did several times. That was six

months ago.

No, I never knew that you called.

No one told me.

Well, heads will roll.

No, after our escapade, I was transferred to South Dakota.

Something of a demotion.

Very intensive training. I've just been buried under tax returns ever since. I

just wangled a 48 -hour leave so that I could come and see about my nephew.

Nephew?

Yes. The lifeguard headquarters said that he was sent here.

Jake McCord. I never made the connection.

Yes. Well, I'm on a very tight schedule.

I've got to see about Rip. Where is he? Well, actually, he's down there.

No, we... Aunt

Gretchen.

Your mother told me you were in terrible trouble. She authorized me to come and

look into the matter and take whatever steps are appropriate.

Couldn't come herself.

Well... Don't tell me it's harvest time at the ashram and Mahesh Swamiji isn't

granting any passes.

Mahesh Swamiji?

Well, my sister is a great believer in...

alternate lifestyles. You see where it's led.

Now, my advice to you is to confess immediately. There is no point in

this kind of thing out.

Darling, was it a crime of passion? Wait a minute. He hasn't been accused of

anything.

He's a suspect.

I got that from your son, who dresses awfully well for a policeman's salary,

know. Wait.

What am I suspected of?

Well, it seems that someone saw a lifeguard go in the water after Wendy

It wasn't me. I was asleep.

Of course you were, darling.

Just remember, the best time to come forward is before they've spent any time

and money on the investigation.

Believe me, I know. Wait a minute, you're assuming he's guilty without

his side.

Well, I did hear.

He was asleep.

I was.

Rip, I believe you.

Excuse me. I hate intruding on family reunions.

Hey, I got the test results on Rip McCord.

The guy was on tranquilizers. It's very strange because the nurses keep catching

him snitching coffee from the doctor's lounge.

You know, there's something not right about this.

What did Steve say?

Steve doesn't buy Rip's story at all and even his aunt thinks he's guilty. She

doesn't know what of.

No, Mark, I think he's a good kid.

What can we do to help him?

Well, Steve said that Wendy Hewitt was in interviewing the owner of the fish

shanty before her swim.

Thought I might go down there and find out what she was interviewing him about.

Well, I can check out the autopsy report.

I can go down to...

Lifeguard headquarters and ask around there.

I want to be down there anyway. I can drop by. No.

Look,

you're way too busy. I mean, you're the chief of internal medicine. You have

things to deal with, like Norman and all that stuff.

You know I love you, and it's the least I can do for you. Well, thanks.

No problem at all.

I'll do a great job.

Signing up for Rookie Lifeguard Tryouts. Please take a number.

Hey, how you doing? I'm here to see a lecture.

Take a number.

I don't think you understand.

Hey, I can't believe you're here.

Yeah, thanks for your help.

You made quite an impression on me this morning.

In fact, I haven't been able to stop thinking about you.

But you're a doctor. Where are you going to find time for that?

A couple of days off coming up.

Besides, being a doctor is only part of what I do.

Some things are too important to let your career get in the way. You know

mean?

You won't be needing this.

You're moving to the front of the line.

Just sign here and then grab a swimsuit out of the locker.

What?

Oh, hey, wait a minute.

I'll see you at school.

Yeah, how can this be?

Congratulations.

You raced the qualifying swim.

Any math to math?

You're a very funny guy.

Maybe you should consider quitting now while you can still walk.

You have a very interesting technique of encouraging aspiring lifeguards.

I'm Jack Stewart.

I'm Spring Dana.

I just don't want to see you drown so you can get a little loving and she can

get a promotion.

I don't see how our relationship could get anybody promoted.

Signing a doctor up as a part -time lifeguard is bound to impress Lieutenant

Denton. If you survive.

You're either a very caring human being, or you're up for the same promotion.

Which is it?

Well, with Rip out of the running.

It's just a lecture I made.

And she'll do anything to get promoted.

What if I tell you I really want to be a lifeguard?

What if I told you I really want to be Tammy Faye Baker?

I'd say you'd need more makeup.

It's treacherous and unpredictable.

If you can't cut a thousand meters swim in choppy salt water, we don't want you.

So now you're in a grueling three -day training program.

Can they just take the written test?

I love a man with a sense of humor.

When it's over, you'll know if you're a lifeguard.

If the beach is still just a pretty place to walk and sun yourself, you're

But if you can look at it and see your sand, you made it, pal.

Permission to come aboard, Captain. Sorry, mate. We're closed.

Show off. I'm looking for Ronnie Schwartz.

I'm Captain Ronnie. What do you want?

Okay, Skipper. You want me to start checking invoices again?

Oh. Oh, hello, Doctor.

Good. Now, where were we? You're a doctor?

Good. Because I'm going to have a heart attack.

She's driving me into bankruptcy.

She comes in during the lunch rush, starts asking questions. I don't have

answers. She threatens to audit every customer in the place.

I think a better class of clientele wouldn't have gone running out of here.

May I have a word with you, Agent Corn?

What do you think you're doing?

You can't just audit anybody who doesn't do what you want.

Can you?

You think River's innocent?

Well, so do I.

Since when?

Being suspicious is an occupational hazard with me.

After you left the hospital and you're a version of a huff.

I came to my senses.

Now, I am going to crack Captain Flea's bag like a crab. Get in my way. You're

part of the Louie.

I would like to know why Wendy Hewitt died.

I don't know anything about that. I already told you. Yes, right before I

discovered that you wrote off your yacht as a business expense.

Well, this is a seafood restaurant.

I got to know about the sea.

All right.

Well. I'm sorry I had to shut you down during peak business hours.

You're going to need every penny you can get for your legal bills. All right,

okay, okay, please, please.

Wendy Hewitt.

She came here to interview me about the oil rig I was going to put in front of

my restaurant.

I showed her the artist's rendition of the Pump's Adobe facade, and she agreed

that it was a stirring tribute to the Hispanic community.

And then she left.

Then why the secrecy, Skipper?

Because the eco -nuts are trying to shut the project down.

The last thing I need is more controversy to ruin my business.

No, no, no.

That's the second to last thing.

It's the hard part. It's the hard part.

Who works at the fish shanty?

I can take this.

We were doing lifeguard exercises.

Jack saw him floating face down and pulled him to shore.

All right, move it. Clear.

He's gone.

a broken neck and a dislocated shoulder.

I don't know if that's what killed him, but it definitely helped.

Well, whatever it was, I don't think he was out for a morning swim.

Yeah. Meet Larry Tivnin of Venice.

And Wendy Hewitt drowns after having breakfast at the fish shanty. Now a

from there turns up dead.

Maybe he went after her for the tip.

These keys are from a Chevy.

Check around. I got a feeling it'll be parked down by the beach.

We're on this license with DMV. All right, good.

All right.

It's not that I don't appreciate your revealing insight into the criminal

Jack, but exactly what were you doing down there anyway? Well... I'm so proud

you. You're a natural -born lifer.

Never mind.

Lieutenant Denton was very impressed.

Oh, good.

Does that mean I don't have to go swimming anymore? Because important

my body have gone into hiding.

Where do I sign up?

You're half the lifeguard this man is you hired.

Hell of a rescue.

Yeah, they rescue anybody.

No, but you've got the instinct.

And I've got the skill. I can teach it to you.

Consider yourself a lifeguard trainee. Starting tomorrow, you're teamed with a

lifeguard.

Just the two of us all day?

Well, can you handle it?

Hey, I give it my best shot.

Good.

Great rescue, mister.

This is Devon's car.

A waiter with a pair of lifeguard trunks? Lieutenant.

Lieutenant.

Captain Schwartz.

So tell me, how long are those cops going to be parked there?

Frankly, it's an appetite killer.

Well, I can only handle one killer at a time.

You know Larry Tivnin?

He's a waiter.

Only been here three weeks. Already he's showing up late.

Well, he's not going to be showing up at all unless you're catering a party at

the morgue.

If it weren't for us pulling your drunken customers out of the water, most

your clientele would be there right now.

I can understand his anger.

I wouldn't want to do anything to disturb a lifeguard in that. Tivnin had

of lifeguard trunks. Did he work for you?

No. My lifeguards wouldn't set foot in this hellhole.

Except when I'm handing out free coffee.

You mean you actually visited Mom at the ashram?

I expected to find a bunch of scrawny hippies in tie -dyed saris living on

basmati rice and marijuana brownies.

Mom hasn't lived like that since I was 14.

Instead, there was this working farm run by contented, loving people who've

devoted themselves to a spiritual way of life.

I was just devastated when I had to slap a lien on the place for back taxes.

Well, my friend, good news here. All the tests say you're in pretty good shape.

You're going to have to stop juggling the caffeine and the tranquilizers if

want to stay that way.

I've been living on caffeine to stay awake. Why would I want to take

tranquilizers?

You said you drank 12 cups of coffee yesterday morning. Where'd you get them?

Everywhere.

A donut shop, lifeguard headquarter, fish shanty.

Well, from now on, you're going to have to stick to decaf, my friend, and that

is doctor's orders.

Does that mean he can go?

Sure, unless you want him to stick around and confess to something.

I want to work with you, doctor.

Any word you want, except audit.

Hello, hello, I'm here.

I'm sorry, I was thinking.

Good. You're already trying to figure out who may have drugged Rip's coffee.

No, actually, I was just thinking about an old friend.

Look, my nephew is in real trouble.

We've got work to do.

You know, she always pretended to be so heartless, but down deep she was a

sweet, caring person.

Doesn't sound like any kind of woman who could help solve a crime. Well, I miss

her.

You know, she was so compassionate, we used to call her Soft Serve.

Soft Serve McCord.

Get over it, Sloan. That woman is dead and buried.

Buried in South Dakota.

Now, I'm going to get to the bottom of this.

You're welcome to stay here if you want and wallow in the past.

The lifeguard rescue floats were originally made of a metallic alloy, and

why to this day we still call them cans.

With the advent of plastic, we switched to these babies. They're smaller and a

lot easier to handle.

There's some talk about changing the shade of red, but that's another story.

Are you listening to me, son?

Yeah, that's so fascinating. Somebody should write a book about it.

You know, it's funny that you should say that.

But I just finished seven chapters. It's handwritten, but I think you can make

it out.

Look, I would love to... You see those guys over there?

One of them can stumble and fall and be washed away by a big wave.

Well, well, we woke up the lifeguards. We better lower our voices. What do you

think you're doing?

I'm taking the final measurements for the pipeline.

I'm gonna run it under this patch of sand, then straight down till I strike

black gold.

You gotta pack it up and go.

Uh, excuse me, Tarzan. Take Boy and step aside. I'm trying to conduct a survey

here. Not on my sand, pal.

The planning commission okayed the project, and there's nothing you can do

it. You gotta pack it up and go, or I'm gonna fine each one of you $1 ,000 for

littering. What?

We haven't littered.

Interfering with the lifeguard is a violation of the criminal code.

You work for the night in jail. You keep running, you're a yak.

Okay.

I'll get out of here. But I'm going to come back with the sheriff's deputy.

Let's go.

Come on.

Yeah, nice hat.

What the hell was that all about?

Saving the sand from its natural predators.

Greedy entrepreneurs.

If anything goes wrong with that rig, we're going to have an oil slick

stretching from Malibu to Redondo.

Sounds to me like your beef is with the Planning Commission, not with this Alan

Hale lookalike.

He only won the Planning Commission's approval by one vote.

I know that fish fryer bought it.

How do you know that?

Wendy Hewitt.

That's what her article is going to be about.

Come on. It's sick.

Miss Dano, I'm Mark Sloan. I called. Oh, come on in.

Yes, I hope you could give me a few minutes of your time.

Well, if someone's interesting, I've got hours to spare.

So, do you like the place?

I decorated it myself.

Oh, really?

Well, Daddy helped.

Well, lifeguarding pays a little more than I thought.

He's silly.

Daddy paid for everything.

Oh, very useful.

Yes, it's just like my room at Daddy's house. It's kind of like a home away

home.

So, would you like to sit down? Yes, thank you.

So, how would you like to spend these minutes?

I'm talking about Rippercorn.

Oh, that.

Well, he asked me out a couple of times, but I told him that I don't go out with

little boys.

See, I like a man who can teach me things, who can show me the world.

I mean, what can you learn from these immature boys?

You know, I was actually wondering if you could tell me just a little bit

the morning that Wendy Hewitt was killed.

You know, she... Oh!

Didn't the match set?

What? Well, Ronnie Schwartz has one just like that.

Is this what you use to give each other permission to come aboard?

I think you should go now.

You're not quite as mature as I thought you were.

Well, that's good.

That's a blessing, actually.

Mark, I've been looking everywhere for you. What? I just got finished going

Wendy Yu with an autopsy with a medical examiner. Yeah?

I found traces of aluminum hydroxide in her system.

That's an anti -diarrheal.

Why would she have a big meal and then take a swim if she had a stomach

That's not all I found.

Wendy Yu had had a Bloody Mary with her breakfast.

And alcohol mixed with aluminum hydroxide causes... Tramps. Well, there

I've been looking everywhere for you.

Hello, Doctor.

Say, you aren't pursuing this case without me, are you? I wouldn't think of

However, Dr. Bentley has found something that leads me to believe that Wendy

Hughes was murdered.

Murdered? We think that Ronnie Schwartz gave Wendy a drug which, when mixed with

alcohol, gives you the cramps.

But why would he then assume she drowned?

Because he gave Rip, who was the lifeguard on duty at the time, a free

coffee laced with tranquilizers. So when she started to cramp up, there'd be no

one there to rescue her.

And Schwartz's waiter posing as a lifeguard to make sure she drowned.

Right.

Well, I think it's time I had a little chat with Captain Crunch.

Gretchen, I think that's better left to the police.

Well, call them if you like. I'm going to the fish shanty.

Now I know how Steve feels.

You

know,

Steve said we should wait until he gets here. I think that's a good idea.

Why would it be closed?

Well, Just a little fresh air wouldn't hurt anything.

Gretchen, Steve said we should wait for him.

Show yourself, Schwartz.

Hell no, don't shush me.

We should wait outside for Steve.

But Schwartz may make a break for the door.

Oh, all right, you just stay here.

Don't wander off.

You can't hide in the dark forever, Captain!

He's over here.

You want to question him first, or shall we wait for Steve?

Well, let's wait for Steve.

I told you to wait till I got here. I wanted to wait. She made me come in.

This is a homicide investigation.

When I say wait, you wait.

Don't mess with Federal 10. I'm coming aboard this investigation.

You're an IRS agent. You have no jurisdiction in a homicide

No, but I could order the chief of police and tell him that you suggested I

so.

Dad, get her out of here before I arrest her for threatening a police officer.

You wouldn't dare.

Oh, yeah?

Breaking and entering, interfering with a police officer, and tampering with

evidence. You're bluffing.

Loitering.

Your son is a bullheaded, arrogant, mean -spirited, rigid bureaucrat who abuses

his authority without a fault for anyone else.

You must be so proud of him.

Thank you.

You know, Mark, I think I owe you an apology.

I was a bit hard on you.

Oh, really? I hadn't noticed it. Well, see, to be honest, I thought maybe Rip

was responsible for Wendy's drowning, and in a way, it would have been my

How would you be responsible?

Well, because when my sister went into the ashram, I should have spent more

with him instead of going off trying to make a name for myself in the IRS.

Yes, but you helped prove he was innocent. That's what matters.

We helped.

Well, I guess now that you've cleared Rip, you'll be heading back to South

Dakota pretty soon.

Well,

I could put it off a little bit. Did you have something in mind?

I was wondering if you'd like to march through another door without knocking.

Okay.

I've been waiting for a chance to do that ever since I got my badge.

What do you mean?

Federal in?

Quite a case you've got there.

Well, if Wendy Hewitt prepared her taxes the way she kept her apartment, I won't

have any problem with her return.

Well, I'm not concerned with her income taxes.

Schwartz killed her for a reason, and I want to know what it is.

Well, didn't Buck say she was going to write a negative article about the oil

rig? Well, she was collecting evidence on him.

Whatever it is might help us figure out who killed Schwartz and his waiter.

I don't think that you're going to find it in the desk.

You got a better idea?

Well, good.

While you're pacing, I'll go look in the kitchen.

Now, wait a second.

Shh, listen.

None of these floorboards are creepy.

Except this one.

Look at that. Give me a hand.

Here.

Hello?

I don't believe it. I'm impressed.

So am I.

This is the startling new evidence in the Wendy Hewitt case?

Found it in her apartment, and you're not going to believe what's in here.

Her apartment is sealed.

Not anymore.

Oh, you did not break into any of his apartment.

Because if you did, this evidence is worthless.

Oh. Uh, what did we do?

Well, you were, uh, passing by, and you thought you heard a sound inside.

Uh, I did.

A baby.

A baby?

Yeah. I heard a baby crying, and so I kicked in the door.

Because you feared for the baby's safety.

And then I searched the desk for the baby.

And then I had the idea to pull up the floorboard.

Because you thought the baby was trapped under the floor?

Mm -hmm.

And we found the box and brought it here. Mm -hmm.

And you couldn't wait for the paramedics because the baby might be inside in

desperate need of medical care.

And so we broke open the box.

To free the baby. Free the baby.

And we found photographs and tapes and papers proving that Schwartz paid off

planning commission for their votes.

Well, that was a mistake.

Sounds completely reasonable to me.

Well, at least we know why Schwartz killed Wendy Hewitt.

The only thing we don't know yet is why his waiter, Larry Tivnan, was murdered.

Why don't you leave that to me? That is what they pay me for, after all.

Well, there's one thing that's certain.

Rip deserves his job back.

I've got seven accommodations and a year more experience than you.

I deserve that promotion.

Then why am I getting it? You're getting it because you're a slut.

I'm not the one who slept with Buck Denton.

You've got to be pretty desperate to do that.

Well, you're trying to seduce Jack just so he'll have a high -profile recruit to

wow Buck with. You couldn't earn the promotion, so you had to resort to dirty

tricks. Jack volunteered for rookie school. I had nothing to do with it.

If I was going to use dirty tricks, I'd tell Buck that you were sleeping with

Ronnie Schwartz, too.

Right up until he was bobbing for lobsters.

Hey!

Hey, let go!

Let go, let go.

This isn't over.

Anytime, Barbie.

That was a pretty slick move there.

I haven't seen that since my Uncle Roy showed it to me when I was a kid.

What did your uncle do?

Time.

I was playing it over dinner.

Just as long as you don't use that little move on me.

I have other moves in mind.

Lieutenant?

We're awfully sorry to have cooed on you, but they told us if you liked our

station, we could find you here.

I'm a Dr.

Mark Sloan. I'm Rip McCord's doctor.

And this is his aunt, Gretchen McCord.

What do you think of my indoor beach?

It's very nice. A little harder than a vacuum cleaner, isn't it?

I couldn't afford to live at the beach on my salary, so I...

Created a bit of heaven in Van Nuys. I work out here every day.

This is genuine Caribbean sand.

Straight from the unspoiled beaches of the Bahamas.

Speaker? Speaker.

What you're hearing is perfect surf off some shoreline in the South Pacific.

I... I prefer Oxford Peterson myself, but then he tweets his own, I guess.

That's it.

And this is my fan.

I just wish the Santa Monica shoreline could be this pristine.

Well, you know, maybe a good way to start would be to put Ripley Court back

duty.

No way. No. You know, what happened to Wendy Hewitt was not his fault.

Schwartz drugged his coffee.

It doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter. He created opportunity by juggling other jobs, by

himself down.

He forgot saving lives is number one priority.

I like Rip. I'm the one that gave him his nickname.

It's a clever one it is, too.

But his days on the beach are over. Did you pay import duty on this sand?

Did you get a permit for all this from Building and Safety?

I don't remember.

IRS.

IRS. Did I fail to mention that?

You know, if you're this lax with regulations in general...

I just can't wait to go over your personal tax return.

Trust me, you don't want her to look at your taxes.

Yeah.

You know, I've had some time to think about this, and it's possible I was too

harsh on Rip.

You know, we make a good team.

It's not like we were a good team the last time we were a team, when we

a murderer to justice, remember?

There you go, wallowing in the past again.

I'm not wallowing in it. I'm splashing around a little bit. Why did you get to

be so hard -nosed?

What are you talking about? You're the one that convinced me I could be a good

IRS agent, that I was tough and tenacious enough to do the job really

All that while dancing to Begin the Begin.

Well, it was a sentimental journey, but who remembers?

See, there's hope for you yet.

Look, I... I have dedicated myself to ferreting out cheats and bringing

malefactors to their knees. Don't try to convince me now that what I do is

pointless. Is everybody you come in contact with an incipient malefactor? I

mean, Norman Briggs, Dolores, your nephew, me?

What? Maybe.

Oh, if you could see your face when you talk like that. Take a look in the

mirror at yourself.

I had to run five miles in the sand, right?

Then I had to swim three more in an icy...

polluted ocean.

And to top it all off, when I was done, I had to run all the way back along the

PCH. Could you imagine? Well, after all that effort, I certainly hope she's

worth it.

How would I know? Every time I'm with her alone, I fall asleep.

Hi.

That's you, Jack? Didn't recognize you with your clothes on.

Actually, Steve's come all the way over here to give us some interesting news.

The dead waiter served time for Arne Robbery in Oklahoma.

Seems Tivenden and his girlfriend played Bonnie and Clyde all across the Corn

Belt.

Which means... Uh, I don't see.

I don't know.

We just don't have enough physical evidence.

Well, what evidence do you have?

Well, we got the murder weapon that killed Ronnie Schwartz, an oar from the

restaurant wall, no prints.

We checked the area around the tank. Guess what we found there?

Sand, salt, tiny fragments of crab, conch and lobster shells, trace amounts

cooking grease.

Could you imagine that in a beachfront restaurant?

I just don't think we can solve this case with so little evidence.

Don't worry about it. You already have.

How's the shrimp?

Great. But anything would taste good now that I have my job back.

Rick, congratulations.

Glad to have you back on my fan.

Lieutenant, I didn't expect to see you here. I don't know how you feel about

place. Oh, the place is fine.

That Ronnie Schwartz, I couldn't stand.

I wouldn't set foot in here with that idiot still alive.

Technically speaking, I suppose that's true.

Excuse me?

Ronnie Schwartz was alive when you came in here.

You killed him just before you left, so I suppose that's accurate.

Look, pal, I don't take lives. I save them. Well, you made one exception,

They found sand all around the lobster tank.

Well, you could find sand all around the restaurant. It's called a beach.

But this wasn't any sand.

This was your sand.

It had little bits of conch shell in it. Not indigenous to Southern California.

However, it is in the Caribbean.

Well, I'm sure we could also find Idaho trout scales and Alaskan king crab shell

on the floor.

This is a seafood restaurant we're in.

But conch isn't on the menu.

No, the only place you'd find that around here is in your backyard.

For the murder of Ronnie Schwartz, pal.

Why'd you do it?

I always knew Schwartz had to be involved in Wendy's death.

And when I saw the lifeguard trunks in his waiter's car, I figured it out.

Schwartz drugged her, so she'd cramp up, and then Tivnan, posing as a lifeguard,

drowned her.

And he wanted to discredit the lifeguard so he can ruin my stand.

I couldn't let him get away with it.

If Buck didn't figure it out until after the waiter was killed...

Who killed the waiter?

Electra.

I love this guy's sense of humor. Oh, he's kidding around.

Yeah, I'm all right, huh?

You stole that lifeguard suit for Tiffin.

Because he's your old boyfriend.

You know, the guy you went around doing that Bonnie and Clyde thing with?

Stay away!

You want a knife on me?

You kidding? Come here.

How'd you find out?

Well, it was a little move that you pulled on Spring. Remember that?

Remember I was telling you about my uncle?

Well, he learned that move in the prison yard.

He did time, didn't he?

That's why the waiter had a broken neck and a dislocated shoulder.

She tried that move on him. She went a little too far.

All I ever wanted to be was a lifeguard.

But Buck would have fired me if he would have found out I was an ex -con.

That's right.

Larry threatened to tell him, so I stole the food for him.

Then he wanted more. My money, my body.

I'd stop.

Let's go.

We've got the right to remain silent.

Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.

Oh, Mr. Briggs. I just finished going over your tax return.

All right. I'll take the darn cap off. Just please stop hounding me.

You have overlooked some very substantial deductions.

I've marked your refund top priority.

You should be receiving a very pleasant check in just a few days.

Dolores. Yes. I fired my accountant. Couldn't stand the government saying she

did. I have arranged for you to have an extension on your filing deadline.

And I have hooked you up with the very best accountant in the city. I couldn't

even afford mediocre.

Oh, no, no, no. He's free. He owes me big time.

Mark, is he... Hello?

We need to talk.

Oh, all finished auditing my friends, have you?

And my family.

I took the lien off my sister's ashram, I cancelled our mother's audit, and I

paid for Rip's tuition so that he doesn't have to work two jobs.

Well, you feel okay. Maybe I want to examine you.

I feel great.

I just got tired of always assuming the worst. I want to look for the incipient

good in people.

Well, welcome back, officer.

Where is that examination room?