All language subtitles for Diagnosis Murder s02e18 Sea No Evil.avi

Do you know her?

She comes every morning at the same
time.

We never actually met.

Do you see anybody on the beach?

No.

But that doesn't mean there wasn't
anyone else here.

I was studying late last night. I'm
working towards an MBA.

Look, it's a little early for me to be
reading between the lines. What are you

trying to tell me?

It's as clear as a lifeguard insignia on
his trunks.

Rip McCord was asleep on my beach.

I dozed off.

Only for a minute. It cost Wendy Hewitt
her life.

You knew her?

I'm making a priority to know everyone
on my sand.

Lieutenant Buck Denton, city lifeguard.

Wendy Hewitt is... was...

A freelance journalist and top -notch
swimmer. She shouldn't have drowned. Are

you suggesting some kind of foul play?

I'm suggesting a lifeguard didn't do his
job.

Look, it was an accident.

Lifeguards don't have accidents. People
do. That's why we're here to save them.

You wouldn't know about that, would you?
All right, now's not the time.

Yeah, now it's too late.

You turn your trunks in, you're fired.

I need this job.

Not as much as Wendy Hewitt needed you.

for mistakes when your job is saving
lives.

Oh.

Medic!

Take care of him. I'll man the tower
myself.

Hold it, folks. Let me see him.

Lifeguards are there for one reason.
Save lives.

It's the only thing we think about from
the minute we pick up our cans in the

morning until we peel off our suits at
night.

I'm sorry. I start talking about saving
lives and I can't stop. No, I find it

fascinating. Believe me.

Makes me want to just hurl myself in the
ocean.

Don't eat without me, you said.

Order the French toast with a side of
bacon, you said.

I'll be right in, you said. That was 45
minutes ago, Jack.

Excuse me, this is a medical emergency.

May I speak with you for a moment?

What the hell is wrong with you? Will
you stop talking? Can you see that I'm

the middle of a very important
professional consultation? Can you see

And what profession might that be? Oh,
wait, let me guess.

Since we don't have any rocky scientists
here at Community General, she must be

the new brain surgeon. Hey, hey, she's
saved more lives than a lot of doctors

this hospital, okay?

Really? Yeah.

You stiff me again for breakfast like
this, and you're going to have an

opportunity to sample her skills.
Really? Yeah. You know, I'll kick your

butt all over this house. Oh, yeah,
really? We'll see. I've got to get back

work, Dr. Stewart. It was nice meeting
you. Hey, it was very nice meeting you,

Lecture. I'll walk you out of here. Go
on, have a seat.

Morning. Morning.

Well, the good news is you're hardly
fine.

The bad news is that woman isn't.

She died because I fell asleep.

Well, why don't we approach this one
problem at a time?

Have you been under any stress lately?

No more than usual.

What usual is?

Well, um, there's my lifeguard job, of
course, and my night job managing the

video store.

Studying for my MBA, which will probably
be useless since no one's hiring, which

will leave me with thousands of dollars
in student loans.

I'm still looking for a place to live
since my girlfriend announced that she

a new guy and he's moving into our
apartment, which is making it really

for me to find the time to see my
grandmother since Grandpa died last

What is it, Doctor?

Do you know why I collapsed?

Well, I have a rough idea, yeah.

What amazes me is how you stayed
standing as long as you did.

Is it something serious?

It's called exhaustion.

I can't be tired. I drank a dozen cups
of coffee this morning.

Uh -huh.

Well, you're going to get some sleep
now.

Look, I'd like to keep you overnight for
observation, all right?

Okay. Okay, just relax.

Hi. Hi. How is he?

Well, physically he's fine, but...

Emotionally, you can imagine.

It's hard to believe he was asleep when
one of you had drowned.

That lifeguard tower was littered with
empty coffee containers.

He has been running on pure nervous
energy.

You know, eventually, the human body is
going to break down, no matter how many

stimulants you pump into it. Yeah,
maybe.

We canvassed the area, and we came up
with a guy who was out in a sailboat

around the time of the accident.

He says he saw a lifeguard run into the
water.

Did you identify him? No, it was too far
away.

Well, how did you know it was a
lifeguard?

Well, he says he came out of the tower
wearing red bathing trunks and carrying

one of those red floats.

When he came out of the water alone, the
guy in the sailboat figured it was just

a false alarm.

You're suggesting that Rip let that
woman drown?

I'm not suggesting anything, Dad. I'm
just giving you an eyeball account.

But if a lifeguard had something to do
with Wendy Hewitt's death, McCord was

only one on duty this morning.

Oh.

Mr. Briggs.

Mr. McCord. Good morning.

You look lovely this morning. I heard a
rumor you left the IRS.

Utterly false.

I realize that an arrow view of the tax
code doesn't see a cat as a dependent,

but if they would only realize that my
cat's seaweed is like family. He's like

relative. Where is Dr. Sloan?

He's in his office.

Just kidding about the cat.

Ah, Miss McCord.

Mitchell, isn't it?

Somebody told me you quit the IRS.

Who starts these rumors?

Then it's not true.

I'd sooner stop breathing.

Well, if you're here because of that
slight dip in my gross earnings, despite

the raise I got, you see, I was trying
to income average, and I hardly made any

money in my team.

I want to see Dr. Sloan. Oh, go right
in.

You don't even need an appointment. I
won't even announce you.

Richard. No, I have not left the IRS.

You can't be here to audit me. I haven't
filed my income taxes yet.

Or maybe this is your way of returning
my phone calls.

Phone call?

What phone call?

You called?

After our evening out, you asked me to
call. I did several times. That was six

months ago.

No, I never knew that you called.

No one told me.

Well, heads will roll.

No, after our escapade, I was
transferred to South Dakota.

Something of a demotion.

Very intensive training. I've just been
buried under tax returns ever since. I

just wangled a 48 -hour leave so that I
could come and see about my nephew.

Nephew?

Yes. The lifeguard headquarters said
that he was sent here.

Jake McCord. I never made the
connection.

Yes. Well, I'm on a very tight schedule.

I've got to see about Rip. Where is he?
Well, actually, he's down there.

No, we... Aunt

Gretchen.

Your mother told me you were in terrible
trouble. She authorized me to come and

look into the matter and take whatever
steps are appropriate.

Couldn't come herself.

Well... Don't tell me it's harvest time
at the ashram and Mahesh Swamiji isn't

granting any passes.

Mahesh Swamiji?

Well, my sister is a great believer
in...

alternate lifestyles. You see where it's
led.

Now, my advice to you is to confess
immediately. There is no point in

this kind of thing out.

Darling, was it a crime of passion? Wait
a minute. He hasn't been accused of

anything.

He's a suspect.

I got that from your son, who dresses
awfully well for a policeman's salary,

know. Wait.

What am I suspected of?

Well, it seems that someone saw a
lifeguard go in the water after Wendy

It wasn't me. I was asleep.

Of course you were, darling.

Just remember, the best time to come
forward is before they've spent any time

and money on the investigation.

Believe me, I know. Wait a minute,
you're assuming he's guilty without

his side.

Well, I did hear.

He was asleep.

I was.

Rip, I believe you.

Excuse me. I hate intruding on family
reunions.

Hey, I got the test results on Rip
McCord.

The guy was on tranquilizers. It's very
strange because the nurses keep catching

him snitching coffee from the doctor's
lounge.

You know, there's something not right
about this.

What did Steve say?

Steve doesn't buy Rip's story at all and
even his aunt thinks he's guilty. She

doesn't know what of.

No, Mark, I think he's a good kid.

What can we do to help him?

Well, Steve said that Wendy Hewitt was
in interviewing the owner of the fish

shanty before her swim.

Thought I might go down there and find
out what she was interviewing him about.

Well, I can check out the autopsy
report.

I can go down to...

Lifeguard headquarters and ask around
there.

I want to be down there anyway. I can
drop by. No.

Look,

you're way too busy. I mean, you're the
chief of internal medicine. You have

things to deal with, like Norman and all
that stuff.

You know I love you, and it's the least
I can do for you. Well, thanks.

No problem at all.

I'll do a great job.

Signing up for Rookie Lifeguard Tryouts.
Please take a number.

Hey, how you doing? I'm here to see a
lecture.

Take a number.

I don't think you understand.

Hey, I can't believe you're here.

Yeah, thanks for your help.

You made quite an impression on me this
morning.

In fact, I haven't been able to stop
thinking about you.

But you're a doctor. Where are you going
to find time for that?

A couple of days off coming up.

Besides, being a doctor is only part of
what I do.

Some things are too important to let
your career get in the way. You know

mean?

You won't be needing this.

You're moving to the front of the line.

Just sign here and then grab a swimsuit
out of the locker.

What?

Oh, hey, wait a minute.

I'll see you at school.

Yeah, how can this be?

Congratulations.

You raced the qualifying swim.

Any math to math?

You're a very funny guy.

Maybe you should consider quitting now
while you can still walk.

You have a very interesting technique of
encouraging aspiring lifeguards.

I'm Jack Stewart.

I'm Spring Dana.

I just don't want to see you drown so
you can get a little loving and she can

get a promotion.

I don't see how our relationship could
get anybody promoted.

Signing a doctor up as a part -time
lifeguard is bound to impress Lieutenant

Denton. If you survive.

You're either a very caring human being,
or you're up for the same promotion.

Which is it?

Well, with Rip out of the running.

It's just a lecture I made.

And she'll do anything to get promoted.

What if I tell you I really want to be a
lifeguard?

What if I told you I really want to be
Tammy Faye Baker?

I'd say you'd need more makeup.

It's treacherous and unpredictable.

If you can't cut a thousand meters swim
in choppy salt water, we don't want you.

So now you're in a grueling three -day
training program.

Can they just take the written test?

I love a man with a sense of humor.

When it's over, you'll know if you're a
lifeguard.

If the beach is still just a pretty
place to walk and sun yourself, you're

But if you can look at it and see your
sand, you made it, pal.

Permission to come aboard, Captain.
Sorry, mate. We're closed.

Show off. I'm looking for Ronnie
Schwartz.

I'm Captain Ronnie. What do you want?

Okay, Skipper. You want me to start
checking invoices again?

Oh. Oh, hello, Doctor.

Good. Now, where were we? You're a
doctor?

Good. Because I'm going to have a heart
attack.

She's driving me into bankruptcy.

She comes in during the lunch rush,
starts asking questions. I don't have

answers. She threatens to audit every
customer in the place.

I think a better class of clientele
wouldn't have gone running out of here.

May I have a word with you, Agent Corn?

What do you think you're doing?

You can't just audit anybody who doesn't
do what you want.

Can you?

You think River's innocent?

Well, so do I.

Since when?

Being suspicious is an occupational
hazard with me.

After you left the hospital and you're a
version of a huff.

I came to my senses.

Now, I am going to crack Captain Flea's
bag like a crab. Get in my way. You're

part of the Louie.

I would like to know why Wendy Hewitt
died.

I don't know anything about that. I
already told you. Yes, right before I

discovered that you wrote off your yacht
as a business expense.

Well, this is a seafood restaurant.

I got to know about the sea.

All right.

Well. I'm sorry I had to shut you down
during peak business hours.

You're going to need every penny you can
get for your legal bills. All right,

okay, okay, please, please.

Wendy Hewitt.

She came here to interview me about the
oil rig I was going to put in front of

my restaurant.

I showed her the artist's rendition of
the Pump's Adobe facade, and she agreed

that it was a stirring tribute to the
Hispanic community.

And then she left.

Then why the secrecy, Skipper?

Because the eco -nuts are trying to shut
the project down.

The last thing I need is more
controversy to ruin my business.

No, no, no.

That's the second to last thing.

It's the hard part. It's the hard part.

Who works at the fish shanty?

I can take this.

We were doing lifeguard exercises.

Jack saw him floating face down and
pulled him to shore.

All right, move it. Clear.

He's gone.

a broken neck and a dislocated shoulder.

I don't know if that's what killed him,
but it definitely helped.

Well, whatever it was, I don't think he
was out for a morning swim.

Yeah. Meet Larry Tivnin of Venice.

And Wendy Hewitt drowns after having
breakfast at the fish shanty. Now a

from there turns up dead.

Maybe he went after her for the tip.

These keys are from a Chevy.

Check around. I got a feeling it'll be
parked down by the beach.

We're on this license with DMV. All
right, good.

All right.

It's not that I don't appreciate your
revealing insight into the criminal

Jack, but exactly what were you doing
down there anyway? Well... I'm so proud

you. You're a natural -born lifer.

Never mind.

Lieutenant Denton was very impressed.

Oh, good.

Does that mean I don't have to go
swimming anymore? Because important

my body have gone into hiding.

Where do I sign up?

You're half the lifeguard this man is
you hired.

Hell of a rescue.

Yeah, they rescue anybody.

No, but you've got the instinct.

And I've got the skill. I can teach it
to you.

Consider yourself a lifeguard trainee.
Starting tomorrow, you're teamed with a

lifeguard.

Just the two of us all day?

Well, can you handle it?

Hey, I give it my best shot.

Good.

Great rescue, mister.

This is Devon's car.

A waiter with a pair of lifeguard
trunks? Lieutenant.

Lieutenant.

Captain Schwartz.

So tell me, how long are those cops
going to be parked there?

Frankly, it's an appetite killer.

Well, I can only handle one killer at a
time.

You know Larry Tivnin?

He's a waiter.

Only been here three weeks. Already he's
showing up late.

Well, he's not going to be showing up at
all unless you're catering a party at

the morgue.

If it weren't for us pulling your
drunken customers out of the water, most

your clientele would be there right now.

I can understand his anger.

I wouldn't want to do anything to
disturb a lifeguard in that. Tivnin had

of lifeguard trunks. Did he work for
you?

No. My lifeguards wouldn't set foot in
this hellhole.

Except when I'm handing out free coffee.

You mean you actually visited Mom at the
ashram?

I expected to find a bunch of scrawny
hippies in tie -dyed saris living on

basmati rice and marijuana brownies.

Mom hasn't lived like that since I was
14.

Instead, there was this working farm run
by contented, loving people who've

devoted themselves to a spiritual way of
life.

I was just devastated when I had to slap
a lien on the place for back taxes.

Well, my friend, good news here. All the
tests say you're in pretty good shape.

You're going to have to stop juggling
the caffeine and the tranquilizers if

want to stay that way.

I've been living on caffeine to stay
awake. Why would I want to take

tranquilizers?

You said you drank 12 cups of coffee
yesterday morning. Where'd you get them?

Everywhere.

A donut shop, lifeguard headquarter,
fish shanty.

Well, from now on, you're going to have
to stick to decaf, my friend, and that

is doctor's orders.

Does that mean he can go?

Sure, unless you want him to stick
around and confess to something.

I want to work with you, doctor.

Any word you want, except audit.

Hello, hello, I'm here.

I'm sorry, I was thinking.

Good. You're already trying to figure
out who may have drugged Rip's coffee.

No, actually, I was just thinking about
an old friend.

Look, my nephew is in real trouble.

We've got work to do.

You know, she always pretended to be so
heartless, but down deep she was a

sweet, caring person.

Doesn't sound like any kind of woman who
could help solve a crime. Well, I miss

her.

You know, she was so compassionate, we
used to call her Soft Serve.

Soft Serve McCord.

Get over it, Sloan. That woman is dead
and buried.

Buried in South Dakota.

Now, I'm going to get to the bottom of
this.

You're welcome to stay here if you want
and wallow in the past.

The lifeguard rescue floats were
originally made of a metallic alloy, and

why to this day we still call them cans.

With the advent of plastic, we switched
to these babies. They're smaller and a

lot easier to handle.

There's some talk about changing the
shade of red, but that's another story.

Are you listening to me, son?

Yeah, that's so fascinating. Somebody
should write a book about it.

You know, it's funny that you should say
that.

But I just finished seven chapters. It's
handwritten, but I think you can make

it out.

Look, I would love to... You see those
guys over there?

One of them can stumble and fall and be
washed away by a big wave.

Well, well, we woke up the lifeguards.
We better lower our voices. What do you

think you're doing?

I'm taking the final measurements for
the pipeline.

I'm gonna run it under this patch of
sand, then straight down till I strike

black gold.

You gotta pack it up and go.

Uh, excuse me, Tarzan. Take Boy and step
aside. I'm trying to conduct a survey

here. Not on my sand, pal.

The planning commission okayed the
project, and there's nothing you can do

it. You gotta pack it up and go, or I'm
gonna fine each one of you $1 ,000 for

littering. What?

We haven't littered.

Interfering with the lifeguard is a
violation of the criminal code.

You work for the night in jail. You keep
running, you're a yak.

Okay.

I'll get out of here. But I'm going to
come back with the sheriff's deputy.

Let's go.

Come on.

Yeah, nice hat.

What the hell was that all about?

Saving the sand from its natural
predators.

Greedy entrepreneurs.

If anything goes wrong with that rig,
we're going to have an oil slick

stretching from Malibu to Redondo.

Sounds to me like your beef is with the
Planning Commission, not with this Alan

Hale lookalike.

He only won the Planning Commission's
approval by one vote.

I know that fish fryer bought it.

How do you know that?

Wendy Hewitt.

That's what her article is going to be
about.

Come on. It's sick.

Miss Dano, I'm Mark Sloan. I called. Oh,
come on in.

Yes, I hope you could give me a few
minutes of your time.

Well, if someone's interesting, I've got
hours to spare.

So, do you like the place?

I decorated it myself.

Oh, really?

Well, Daddy helped.

Well, lifeguarding pays a little more
than I thought.

He's silly.

Daddy paid for everything.

Oh, very useful.

Yes, it's just like my room at Daddy's
house. It's kind of like a home away

home.

So, would you like to sit down? Yes,
thank you.

So, how would you like to spend these
minutes?

I'm talking about Rippercorn.

Oh, that.

Well, he asked me out a couple of times,
but I told him that I don't go out with

little boys.

See, I like a man who can teach me
things, who can show me the world.

I mean, what can you learn from these
immature boys?

You know, I was actually wondering if
you could tell me just a little bit

the morning that Wendy Hewitt was
killed.

You know, she... Oh!

Didn't the match set?

What? Well, Ronnie Schwartz has one just
like that.

Is this what you use to give each other
permission to come aboard?

I think you should go now.

You're not quite as mature as I thought
you were.

Well, that's good.

That's a blessing, actually.

Mark, I've been looking everywhere for
you. What? I just got finished going

Wendy Yu with an autopsy with a medical
examiner. Yeah?

I found traces of aluminum hydroxide in
her system.

That's an anti -diarrheal.

Why would she have a big meal and then
take a swim if she had a stomach

That's not all I found.

Wendy Yu had had a Bloody Mary with her
breakfast.

And alcohol mixed with aluminum
hydroxide causes... Tramps. Well, there

I've been looking everywhere for you.

Hello, Doctor.

Say, you aren't pursuing this case
without me, are you? I wouldn't think of

However, Dr. Bentley has found something
that leads me to believe that Wendy

Hughes was murdered.

Murdered? We think that Ronnie Schwartz
gave Wendy a drug which, when mixed with

alcohol, gives you the cramps.

But why would he then assume she
drowned?

Because he gave Rip, who was the
lifeguard on duty at the time, a free

coffee laced with tranquilizers. So when
she started to cramp up, there'd be no

one there to rescue her.

And Schwartz's waiter posing as a
lifeguard to make sure she drowned.

Right.

Well, I think it's time I had a little
chat with Captain Crunch.

Gretchen, I think that's better left to
the police.

Well, call them if you like. I'm going
to the fish shanty.

Now I know how Steve feels.

You

know,

Steve said we should wait until he gets
here. I think that's a good idea.

Why would it be closed?

Well, Just a little fresh air wouldn't
hurt anything.

Gretchen, Steve said we should wait for
him.

Show yourself, Schwartz.

Hell no, don't shush me.

We should wait outside for Steve.

But Schwartz may make a break for the
door.

Oh, all right, you just stay here.

Don't wander off.

You can't hide in the dark forever,
Captain!

He's over here.

You want to question him first, or shall
we wait for Steve?

Well, let's wait for Steve.

I told you to wait till I got here. I
wanted to wait. She made me come in.

This is a homicide investigation.

When I say wait, you wait.

Don't mess with Federal 10. I'm coming
aboard this investigation.

You're an IRS agent. You have no
jurisdiction in a homicide

No, but I could order the chief of
police and tell him that you suggested I

so.

Dad, get her out of here before I arrest
her for threatening a police officer.

You wouldn't dare.

Oh, yeah?

Breaking and entering, interfering with
a police officer, and tampering with

evidence. You're bluffing.

Loitering.

Your son is a bullheaded, arrogant, mean
-spirited, rigid bureaucrat who abuses

his authority without a fault for anyone
else.

You must be so proud of him.

Thank you.

You know, Mark, I think I owe you an
apology.

I was a bit hard on you.

Oh, really? I hadn't noticed it. Well,
see, to be honest, I thought maybe Rip

was responsible for Wendy's drowning,
and in a way, it would have been my

How would you be responsible?

Well, because when my sister went into
the ashram, I should have spent more

with him instead of going off trying to
make a name for myself in the IRS.

Yes, but you helped prove he was
innocent. That's what matters.

We helped.

Well, I guess now that you've cleared
Rip, you'll be heading back to South

Dakota pretty soon.

Well,

I could put it off a little bit. Did you
have something in mind?

I was wondering if you'd like to march
through another door without knocking.

Okay.

I've been waiting for a chance to do
that ever since I got my badge.

What do you mean?

Federal in?

Quite a case you've got there.

Well, if Wendy Hewitt prepared her taxes
the way she kept her apartment, I won't

have any problem with her return.

Well, I'm not concerned with her income
taxes.

Schwartz killed her for a reason, and I
want to know what it is.

Well, didn't Buck say she was going to
write a negative article about the oil

rig? Well, she was collecting evidence
on him.

Whatever it is might help us figure out
who killed Schwartz and his waiter.

I don't think that you're going to find
it in the desk.

You got a better idea?

Well, good.

While you're pacing, I'll go look in the
kitchen.

Now, wait a second.

Shh, listen.

None of these floorboards are creepy.

Except this one.

Look at that. Give me a hand.

Here.

Hello?

I don't believe it. I'm impressed.

So am I.

This is the startling new evidence in
the Wendy Hewitt case?

Found it in her apartment, and you're
not going to believe what's in here.

Her apartment is sealed.

Not anymore.

Oh, you did not break into any of his
apartment.

Because if you did, this evidence is
worthless.

Oh. Uh, what did we do?

Well, you were, uh, passing by, and you
thought you heard a sound inside.

Uh, I did.

A baby.

A baby?

Yeah. I heard a baby crying, and so I
kicked in the door.

Because you feared for the baby's
safety.

And then I searched the desk for the
baby.

And then I had the idea to pull up the
floorboard.

Because you thought the baby was trapped
under the floor?

Mm -hmm.

And we found the box and brought it
here. Mm -hmm.

And you couldn't wait for the paramedics
because the baby might be inside in

desperate need of medical care.

And so we broke open the box.

To free the baby. Free the baby.

And we found photographs and tapes and
papers proving that Schwartz paid off

planning commission for their votes.

Well, that was a mistake.

Sounds completely reasonable to me.

Well, at least we know why Schwartz
killed Wendy Hewitt.

The only thing we don't know yet is why
his waiter, Larry Tivnan, was murdered.

Why don't you leave that to me? That is
what they pay me for, after all.

Well, there's one thing that's certain.

Rip deserves his job back.

I've got seven accommodations and a year
more experience than you.

I deserve that promotion.

Then why am I getting it? You're getting
it because you're a slut.

I'm not the one who slept with Buck
Denton.

You've got to be pretty desperate to do
that.

Well, you're trying to seduce Jack just
so he'll have a high -profile recruit to

wow Buck with. You couldn't earn the
promotion, so you had to resort to dirty

tricks. Jack volunteered for rookie
school. I had nothing to do with it.

If I was going to use dirty tricks, I'd
tell Buck that you were sleeping with

Ronnie Schwartz, too.

Right up until he was bobbing for
lobsters.

Hey!

Hey, let go!

Let go, let go.

This isn't over.

Anytime, Barbie.

That was a pretty slick move there.

I haven't seen that since my Uncle Roy
showed it to me when I was a kid.

What did your uncle do?

Time.

I was playing it over dinner.

Just as long as you don't use that
little move on me.

I have other moves in mind.

Lieutenant?

We're awfully sorry to have cooed on
you, but they told us if you liked our

station, we could find you here.

I'm a Dr.

Mark Sloan. I'm Rip McCord's doctor.

And this is his aunt, Gretchen McCord.

What do you think of my indoor beach?

It's very nice. A little harder than a
vacuum cleaner, isn't it?

I couldn't afford to live at the beach
on my salary, so I...

Created a bit of heaven in Van Nuys. I
work out here every day.

This is genuine Caribbean sand.

Straight from the unspoiled beaches of
the Bahamas.

Speaker? Speaker.

What you're hearing is perfect surf off
some shoreline in the South Pacific.

I... I prefer Oxford Peterson myself,
but then he tweets his own, I guess.

That's it.

And this is my fan.

I just wish the Santa Monica shoreline
could be this pristine.

Well, you know, maybe a good way to
start would be to put Ripley Court back

duty.

No way. No. You know, what happened to
Wendy Hewitt was not his fault.

Schwartz drugged his coffee.

It doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter. He created
opportunity by juggling other jobs, by

himself down.

He forgot saving lives is number one
priority.

I like Rip. I'm the one that gave him
his nickname.

It's a clever one it is, too.

But his days on the beach are over. Did
you pay import duty on this sand?

Did you get a permit for all this from
Building and Safety?

I don't remember.

IRS.

IRS. Did I fail to mention that?

You know, if you're this lax with
regulations in general...

I just can't wait to go over your
personal tax return.

Trust me, you don't want her to look at
your taxes.

Yeah.

You know, I've had some time to think
about this, and it's possible I was too

harsh on Rip.

You know, we make a good team.

It's not like we were a good team the
last time we were a team, when we

a murderer to justice, remember?

There you go, wallowing in the past
again.

I'm not wallowing in it. I'm splashing
around a little bit. Why did you get to

be so hard -nosed?

What are you talking about? You're the
one that convinced me I could be a good

IRS agent, that I was tough and
tenacious enough to do the job really

All that while dancing to Begin the
Begin.

Well, it was a sentimental journey, but
who remembers?

See, there's hope for you yet.

Look, I... I have dedicated myself to
ferreting out cheats and bringing

malefactors to their knees. Don't try to
convince me now that what I do is

pointless. Is everybody you come in
contact with an incipient malefactor? I

mean, Norman Briggs, Dolores, your
nephew, me?

What? Maybe.

Oh, if you could see your face when you
talk like that. Take a look in the

mirror at yourself.

I had to run five miles in the sand,
right?

Then I had to swim three more in an
icy...

polluted ocean.

And to top it all off, when I was done,
I had to run all the way back along the

PCH. Could you imagine? Well, after all
that effort, I certainly hope she's

worth it.

How would I know? Every time I'm with
her alone, I fall asleep.

Hi.

That's you, Jack? Didn't recognize you
with your clothes on.

Actually, Steve's come all the way over
here to give us some interesting news.

The dead waiter served time for Arne
Robbery in Oklahoma.

Seems Tivenden and his girlfriend played
Bonnie and Clyde all across the Corn

Belt.

Which means... Uh, I don't see.

I don't know.

We just don't have enough physical
evidence.

Well, what evidence do you have?

Well, we got the murder weapon that
killed Ronnie Schwartz, an oar from the

restaurant wall, no prints.

We checked the area around the tank.
Guess what we found there?

Sand, salt, tiny fragments of crab,
conch and lobster shells, trace amounts

cooking grease.

Could you imagine that in a beachfront
restaurant?

I just don't think we can solve this
case with so little evidence.

Don't worry about it. You already have.

How's the shrimp?

Great. But anything would taste good now
that I have my job back.

Rick, congratulations.

Glad to have you back on my fan.

Lieutenant, I didn't expect to see you
here. I don't know how you feel about

place. Oh, the place is fine.

That Ronnie Schwartz, I couldn't stand.

I wouldn't set foot in here with that
idiot still alive.

Technically speaking, I suppose that's
true.

Excuse me?

Ronnie Schwartz was alive when you came
in here.

You killed him just before you left, so
I suppose that's accurate.

Look, pal, I don't take lives. I save
them. Well, you made one exception,

They found sand all around the lobster
tank.

Well, you could find sand all around the
restaurant. It's called a beach.

But this wasn't any sand.

This was your sand.

It had little bits of conch shell in it.
Not indigenous to Southern California.

However, it is in the Caribbean.

Well, I'm sure we could also find Idaho
trout scales and Alaskan king crab shell

on the floor.

This is a seafood restaurant we're in.

But conch isn't on the menu.

No, the only place you'd find that
around here is in your backyard.

For the murder of Ronnie Schwartz, pal.

Why'd you do it?

I always knew Schwartz had to be
involved in Wendy's death.

And when I saw the lifeguard trunks in
his waiter's car, I figured it out.

Schwartz drugged her, so she'd cramp up,
and then Tivnan, posing as a lifeguard,

drowned her.

And he wanted to discredit the lifeguard
so he can ruin my stand.

I couldn't let him get away with it.

If Buck didn't figure it out until after
the waiter was killed...

Who killed the waiter?

Electra.

I love this guy's sense of humor. Oh,
he's kidding around.

Yeah, I'm all right, huh?

You stole that lifeguard suit for
Tiffin.

Because he's your old boyfriend.

You know, the guy you went around doing
that Bonnie and Clyde thing with?

Stay away!

You want a knife on me?

You kidding? Come here.

How'd you find out?

Well, it was a little move that you
pulled on Spring. Remember that?

Remember I was telling you about my
uncle?

Well, he learned that move in the prison
yard.

He did time, didn't he?

That's why the waiter had a broken neck
and a dislocated shoulder.

She tried that move on him. She went a
little too far.

All I ever wanted to be was a lifeguard.

But Buck would have fired me if he would
have found out I was an ex -con.

That's right.

Larry threatened to tell him, so I stole
the food for him.

Then he wanted more. My money, my body.

I'd stop.

Let's go.

We've got the right to remain silent.

Anything you say can and will be used
against you in a court of law.

Oh, Mr. Briggs. I just finished going
over your tax return.

All right. I'll take the darn cap off.
Just please stop hounding me.

You have overlooked some very
substantial deductions.

I've marked your refund top priority.

You should be receiving a very pleasant
check in just a few days.

Dolores. Yes. I fired my accountant.
Couldn't stand the government saying she

did. I have arranged for you to have an
extension on your filing deadline.

And I have hooked you up with the very
best accountant in the city. I couldn't

even afford mediocre.

Oh, no, no, no. He's free. He owes me
big time.

Mark, is he... Hello?

We need to talk.

Oh, all finished auditing my friends,
have you?

And my family.

I took the lien off my sister's ashram,
I cancelled our mother's audit, and I

paid for Rip's tuition so that he
doesn't have to work two jobs.

Well, you feel okay. Maybe I want to
examine you.

I feel great.

I just got tired of always assuming the
worst. I want to look for the incipient

good in people.

Well, welcome back, officer.

Where is that examination room?