Original subtitles

Show me some stupid tattoo and say sorry and it's all fine.

I'm trying, Stella.

Well, try harder.

I've been dreaming of a spot of gin.

What if I told you I had a plan to get more in?

Free organic fruit and veg?

It's my son, me. He's getting married and we thought we could have a blessing

for him here.

The little girl that visited you this morning, Vanessa Andrews, got a phone

from the police. They think that she's being used to smuggle drugs into

You're both sure about what you've got to do?

Of course.

We'll see.

She's going to escape in a bin bag.

Bill Laurie collects David's blessing.

It's going to be me at that wedding, and then me escaping in that bin bag, not

Pat Kerrigan.

Rowan, she's just trashed out of a tiny mind.

Again.

Vicky!

How much do you reckon for attempting to escape?

She'll rot in this place.

She deserves everything that's coming to her.

Vicky, have you seen my keys, anyway?

Sorry,

am I getting in your way? No, no, it's all right.

I'm still feeling so exhausted.

I can't believe I'm going to do that to you.

Yeah, well, hopefully.

But you won't do it again in a hurry.

I mean, your stomach pump's not as cracked up to be, trust me.

Not your finest hour, no.

You really scared me, Vicky.

Why did you do it?

Screw up sometimes.

Thanks, though, for being there.

I thought I'd never speak to you again.

Still got my attention this time, didn't you?

You think that's what this was all about?

Well, what was it about?

I can't believe this.

You think I did it for a laugh?

At trying to kill yourself some regular evening's entertainment.

Have you tried it before?

No. I only do it when you're watching.

Oh, come on, Vicky. Don't be like this.

I'm just trying to help.

Oh, St. Lou.

Looking after all the waifus and trays.

We needn't bother with this one anymore.

Not if you think I'm faking it.

Where are you going?

Vicky? Oh, come on.

Don't do this again. Don't just disappear. I can't handle it.

Don't worry about it.

I'm not too sad, all right?

Your conscience is clear.

Hey, mate.

What can I do for you, darling?

I just wonder what time the bin law is due.

I need someone to take these out for me.

You've got ages yet, love. You won't be here till three.

Want me to, uh...

Won't we pass the time?

In your dreams.

What?

It was good of you to let this wedding blessing happen.

The Julies are over the moon.

Yeah, well, I can see any point in saying no.

Everything all right, ma 'am?

You don't seem yourself.

Absolutely.

You're on top of all the arrangements for today.

It'll go without a hitch.

Glad to hear it.

a blessing.

Oh, you're welcome to it.

Straight out of the tin.

Why would anyone in their right mind get hitched in this godforsaken pit?

Oh, shut up.

It's going to be well smart.

See?

I've got follow vents.

Is this what you're after, ladies?

Answer to our prayers.

How's the patient this morning? She's gone. What?

We had a row.

And?

I kind of suggested that I didn't think she really meant to kill herself.

Ouch.

Anyway, she flew off the handle, packed her bags and left.

Do you want me to talk to her?

I don't even know where she is.

Well, let's check her old home, where she used to work. It wouldn't do any

I want to help.

What can I do? Well, unless you can click your fingers and make everything

perfect.

Nothing.

What's this?

You're minding your business, that's what.

Is that your speech?

Oh, well, you ain't going to go into things too much, are you?

About what we got up to in the past and all that. Oh, do me a favour.

I don't have jokes about us being on the game. I go down too well with in -laws.

Even the funny ones.

I've got off a brain in me head.

I'm not going to show David up, am I?

Well, what have you said then?

Everything that needs saying.

Julie, is everything set?

It's all been sorted.

This blessing's our only chance to get out to the bins.

Yeah, I've been through it a thousand times.

Well, we'll go through it again.

Now, the bin will reach you at three.

So the whole deal... Ceremony, speeches, everything has to be done and dusted by

then, yeah?

Yeah, we'll do what we can, won't we, Jo?

Yeah, of course.

But this is David's big day, you know.

You can't bail on me now.

And let Buxton get away with what she did to that little girl.

She made her stuff drugs inside herself.

Yeah, I know.

We're with you.

100%. Mummy, I can't... I can't believe how unfair and bigoted you're both

being.

David's family are our family now.

If you don't come today, you're not just snubbing them, but also your

grandchild. Think about that.

I expect to see you later.

Look, it's a lot for your parents to get their heads around fidelity.

A wedding blessing in a prison.

It's snubbery, pure and simple.

They owe it to us to be here. Don't get yourself worked up, darling.

Let's just concentrate on our family today, shall we?

You, me and Junior here.

I'm sorry.

You're right.

Through here, I suppose.

You look a million dollars fourthier. But, Denise, I just wish you weren't so

big nervous. That's all.

Bound to be. It's a big day.

It ain't quite normal, though, is it?

I'm not the only one who's going to be thinking.

I mean, really, thank you. Well, they ought to be nervous about meeting you

You're David's mum.

You deserve respect. Now, don't you forget that.

I know.

She's just fidelity.

She runs her brain in sophisticated and pedantic.

God knows what the rest of the family's going to be like.

Oh, ladies.

I know you appreciate what a privilege this is.

Yes, miss. Can't thank you enough.

It's important you're both part of it.

Must be a happy time.

Child getting married?

Yeah. I mean, I'm over the moon.

You both enjoy every moment, hmm?

Oh, that hit the spot.

I'll have some of that melon. I'll go dead posh on my ham. No, unripe. Give

death massive indigestion. You'd ruin the day. Yes.

Oh, take some of this to the blessing for dessert. I mean, it would be

delicious.

Bleeding white. It smells rank.

It's high -grade organic fruit.

Well, it don't look like fruit to me. I can't see no apples or nothing.

And what else?

Oh, here's a Chinese gooseberry. There's mangoes, papayas, pomegranates.

Right. Oh, believe me, before long, all those greasy, starchy, cholesterol

-soaked lunches will just be a thing of the past.

You'll never look longingly at a sausage again.

Looks all right, doesn't it, Jo?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, we've done good.

Everything's set with Pat, yeah?

Yeah, don't worry.

Look, you just enjoy your day. Me and Tina are on top of it.

David!

Hey, darling.

Hey, Arnie, do you look great? Oh, my God, look at you.

I swear I did. Oh,

this is Mr. James. He's officiating. Oh, hello.

And, um,

this is Fidelity.

It's ever so nice to meet you. Oh, my God, I have heard so much about you.

It's such an honour to meet you. You've no idea.

Yeah, we know. Same here. And to get any awkwardness out of the way right now.

You must believe me when I say it doesn't matter to me that you're...

Hi.

Well, that's good to know, isn't it, Jo?

You.

Feeling better?

Now that I've seen you.

And what can I do for you today?

I just wanted to tell you what a selfish cow you're being.

Brown.

Sweeney.

Nobeski. Oh, you're popular all of a sudden. Third this week, isn't it?

Tonight. I've been counting.

Another letter from Miss Michael.

Yeah, I think so.

So who is he?

And why you never mention him before?

Just started writing.

Right.

You meet him yet, Wilkins?

No. And I don't think you will.

Not until him charm you with them words.

Because I bet he's damn ugly.

You know, that's right.

So, um, Auntie Jade can go to the party.

Yes, she had a real stroke of luck.

So make sure you meet her at the Prince Albert after three.

Oh, and, um...

My hips are drying up, so make sure you bring the car.

Got it.

Right, you and Buck have been ready for the off.

How much do I love thine?

You make me feel like nothing more will go wrong.

Just by knowing that thou are mine.

The sight of you sings to me like a song.

I've never felt like this before.

You have really unlocked the door.

You ready?

Yeah. I've just got to do this.

Very nice.

Oh, I meant to say.

We've heard.

It's Judge Heather Thet who'll sentence you tomorrow.

Oh, great. He's really tough, isn't he?

Here. What do you think I'll get for arson?

Five years?

Eight if I'm lucky?

There's a whole world out there, Tina. Don't you want the chance to see it?

All my mates are in here, innit?

Letter was lovely.

Yeah?

There's another on the way tomorrow.

I've written something for you.

Yeah?

What does it say?

I'm not going to tell you that.

I think you might like it, though.

You're a tease, Miss Nabeski.

Yeah, well, you love it, Mr Kemper.

So when do I get this letter?

You two help Tina.

She's managing fine. You volunteered to help.

Right, here's the drill.

Soft drinks offered to all the guests before kick -off.

Then, after it's all over, you clear up the kitchen, stack the trolley, take the

rubbish out, and it's back home to the wing. Capisce?

Right. Yes, yes.

I'm sure there won't be any problems, will there?

No, I wouldn't have thought.

Oh,

come on. Don't you want fruit cocktail for dessert?

Yes, a delicious way to make up your five recommended daily doses of fruit

veg.

Oh,

you know, I fear your forebears would be most disheartened to hear you talk like

that.

Your healthy genes, Darlene, were not bred on staunch.

You wrinkle old witch.

No, I've just had the tartan oil, thanks.

Not exactly shifting, am I?

He's right, you know.

And if we don't start shifting it, the powers of B will shut the healthy eating

scheme down.

Bang goes our access to gin, vodka, brandy.

Oh, dear.

Oh, is that melon?

Oh, cook me up a bit, will you?

Delighted. Oh, she's on a stick.

Oh, I don't believe it. We were that close to having a bottomless cruise fit

here. Now, we are totally screwed and probably looking at a few years on a

lantern thief.

Thanks, Pat.

It's not too late for me to stuff this ceremony up.

So you better keep to your end of the deal.

Well, we said we would, didn't we?

And that bitch better completely be in the dark.

She is, I swear.

She don't know a thing.

It's going to be a great day, isn't it?

I'm certainly looking forward to it.

Where the hell are they?

I'm sure they'll be here soon, love.

Oh, they'll be here.

You know, what will happen if they aren't?

Maybe we should start without them.

What?

Well, it's looking like they don't want no part of it.

And how would you know?

Do you know my parents?

No, of course not.

My family have manners.

Yeah.

They've obviously just been delayed.

Move it along.

It's just, she was dead embarrassed.

I've done it to parents. I mean, they are going to be at the proper wedding

ceremony, aren't they, anyway?

Sorry, time's a bit tight.

Don't think we can wait much longer. Surely just a few more minutes.

I mean, what difference can it possibly make?

Quite a lot, actually.

We're going to have to start.

For God's sake.

Well, come on, then.

Let's get it over with.

Can we begin, ladies and gentlemen?

Good afternoon, everyone.

I know that Delity and David are delighted to have you all here to share

special day with them. A day which I'm sure none of us are ever going to

And so it is that Fidelity and David have come to the decision to make a

contract with one another for life.

Reconfirmed here in the presence of you, dear friends and family.

You may kiss the bride.

Congratulations.

Congratulations.

I can't blame her parents for not turning up.

It's horrendous, isn't it?

I'm just glad I didn't wear my dolce cabana.

If David thinks his jailbird lack of a mother is having anything to do with our

child, he's out of his mind.

Shall we

start cleaning up now, miss?

Don't be daft. We haven't even had the speeches yet.

We're done for.

Ladies, that melon?

Yes, I can explain.

Stop not.

Put me up no end.

Let's hope we can do the same for this lot.

Thank you.

Keep up the good work.

No sign of the plant.

Eh?

I left it in there.

No, I know I did because I sprayed it with perfume and everything.

Did you look where I told you?

Yeah, all over.

Right!

Wait, hold on.

I know it was her.

You can't go in full on it. It'll be too obvious.

I thought of her reading it.

Bitch! It doesn't matter. The main thing is that she doesn't know it was meant

for me.

No, no, she won't. They'd ship me out if they found out.

I've just got to be a bit more clever.

Do you mind?

You are off your head. What is going on?

I just had a little pick -me -up. It's been a tough couple of weeks.

It's more than a pick -me -up, Joy. How much have you had?

I don't have to answer questions like that from you.

Who the hell do you think you are anyway?

I'm number one. This is my prison, not yours. So bloody piss off. Go on, piss

off.

I should report you for being drunk on duty, but I don't think that's what you

need, is it?

Don't talk to me about professionalism when you're having it off with a doctor

every five minutes.

Do you want to lose your job?

You've already lost your daughter. Isn't that enough?

I did try with Stella.

Why don't you take a couple of weeks off?

Have a break. Get your shit together.

I've known David since he was six.

And here he is, grown up, handsome, and married.

I wrote a speech, but it doesn't seem quite right now.

There ain't never been a boy who loved his mum more than you, David. And there

ain't never been a mum who wanted more for a boy.

More than you do.

No matter who looked down their nose at you.

But there's one thing you ain't done.

Which we both know you have to, sweetheart.

David, your mum's had cancer.

She's all right now, but she won't stay that way unless she gets proper

treatment. Excuse me.

Is now the time?

You need to give her an earful, because I tried and it ain't done no good so

far.

Mum, is that true?

Oh, yeah.

I mean, it was.

But like Fidelity said, now ain't really the right time. Not that.

Don't embarrass me.

Are you okay?

I mean, what's the doctor think? Why didn't you say something?

I should have.

I didn't want to worry you, darling.

We're saving it up just to ruin our big day.

What did you just say?

Now look what you've gone and done. I needed sorting, June.

It weren't your secret to tell, June. I can't believe you think my mum would do

something like that.

Come on, you've got to pass that.

Miss, maybe we should start clearing up. You don't want to be late checking a

thing. Good point, everybody. You'll be leaving soon.

Well, maybe I should take out the rubbish and Pat and Tina, well, they

clear the tables.

No, you two take those glasses out first.

I've just found this out now.

Don't do this to me. No, I'm sorry.

I'm just doing it.

How can you do this?

How can you say that?

You ruined it, you moron!

What's going on?

It was an accident.

Get it cleaned up.

Miss, maybe I should take this out now. Go on, then. Hurry up.

Make sure you wet the floor properly and all.

What now?

I need some air.

It's for every life you've screwed up, Mons.

Maybe I have to be able to quit.

Well, well, well.

I thought I'd better wait till the last minute.

Just in case you turn... I thought getting rid of me was going to be that

Dobby!

I'm sticking out here.

Because David's got a right to know.

I came to this cesspit, fell out with my parents, all so you could be here, you

ungrateful cow.

At least I'm not a two -faced one.

I heard what you said about not allowing Julie anywhere near your kid.

What?

That's not what I meant.

This is my mum we're talking about, and she is coming to live with us as soon as

she gets out of this place.

Oh, David, darling, you don't have to. Are you out of your mind?

No, I'm bloody not.

She could have died.

And I wouldn't have known anything about it.

But... That's not fair.

If you want us to have any kind of a future, you won't try and stop me.

Hey.

Thanks for telling me.

She's a good mate, isn't she?

You couldn't ask for a better one?

No, Emma.

I'm just going to check on the deputy.

Come on, Tina, get a move on.

Have you seen Kerrigan and Buxton?

I think Pat's still in the loo and I don't know about Natalie, miss.

If either of you have seen Pat, good who thinks something's up.

Right, everybody, time to go.

How is she?

She can't say sorry?

No.

Let her stay for a bit.

I've got to mess things up again, haven't I?

No. It's for the best.

Finally stood up to her, didn't I?

Things will be better from now on.

Are you sure you want to marry her?

She's having my baby.

Ain't no reason nowadays.

She's got a good side.

You take care of yourself.

Yeah. I love you.

I'm going to come and see you as soon as I can. Yeah, yeah.

I love you.

See you.

I couldn't tell you, miss.

Well, Pat, now she said she'd meet us at the gates. She's just taking the bins

out. Right.

Time to go.

Where are the others?

Sorry, mate. I've got a bit of a dicky tummy.

What's going on?

Ah! A rat!

Ah!

For God's sake, I thought somebody was getting murdered. Where's Buxton?

He just went through with the others.

Wait a minute.

What's that?

Oh, I think I must have fainted in the loo.

Bang my head.

Make sure you get it checked out with Dr Dunlop.

Where were you? What happened to your head?

I went out to check she was in the bag, and the bitch held one last go at me.

Yeah, yeah, I went out of the lorry. When will she be found?

It'll be about ten minutes till the bin lorry finishes its rounds.

And then Buxton's had it.

Macdonald here at Lark Hall.

Just to let you know, I'm taking annual leave for a couple of weeks.

Louise thought we'll be acting governor in my absence.

Sure, the prison will run like clockwork in her hands.

Is that her?

How come we ain't heard anything yet?

Look, I don't know any more than you do, Liz.

Well, what about your inside man? I thought he was going to find her in the

rubbish bag.

So did I.

Please, now.

Don't you tell me she's gone and done it.

Escaped?

I don't know.

Why don't we raise the alarm now?

Well, we've got to say something.

Shut it, right?

Do you want to get a stand for Aidan in a betting?

Now just get out there and act like everything's frigging perfect, OK?

What a cow.

I mean, you've only got to think about it, though, ain't you?

After then, what gets married gets divorced.

And the other half, what stays married, ends up hating each other.

Ain't hardly worth it.

I reckon there must only be about 100 people in the whole country who's glad

they bothered.

If you get divorced, it's probably because you got married for the wrong

in the first place.

You know, for your mum or dad or for money.

See, I never thought about it like that.

So how come you're tearing so softly all of a sudden?

Writing them stupid love poem and things.

You'll lose your mind.

And what do you know about love poems?

I know everything that happened on G -Wing. You have me ear to the ground.

Yeah, your hands are masked up more like.

You nicked them, didn't you? You took them off my bed!

Hey!

Hey! Hey!

Enough! Enough!

Darling stole a poem that I wrote for my boyfriend and he has fucking alien

rights!

I can't let you get away with that. You're on report.

No, I don't care what darling did or said.

There's no excuse for violence.

Now watch it, yeah?

And that goes for you too.

I am mean. I didn't do nothing.

Yeah, make sure it stays that way.

Good.

Trust me to miss the good bit.

Well, apparently, the two of you leave us a bit of a fallout.

Well, there's always a fight at a wedding.

Really? I don't want to eat yours.

Yeah. And I tried to get away.

What the hell are you doing here?

Why don't you ask Sigmund Freud?

Well,

that worked all right, didn't it?

Yeah. Bit of an actress on the quiet, innit?

That ain't all I'm good at.

Yeah?

All right.

We'll hear anyone coming a mile off.

Come on.

Here you go.

Right.

Just try not to draw blood, OK?

Is it serious?

Keep your hands off.

So how did he manage to talk you round?

Told me he reckoned there was a chance we could have a conversation that didn't

end up in a row for once.

Yeah.

Well, I haven't seen to manage that for quite some time.

Go on, say it.

Aren't we here to clear the air?

Not since you made me have the abortion.

I didn't make you do anything, Vicky.

It was entirely your own decision.

You didn't leave me with any other option.

Oh, God, when are you going to stop punishing me?

It's been three years, Vicky.

And yes, I confidently asked myself if I did the right thing.

Well, let me answer that for you. You didn't.

I was just asking for a little bit of help with childcare.

No, you weren't. You were asking me to give up my life to raise your child for

you.

I was the one with something to give up. I'd almost finished teacher training.

You were drifting from one pub to the next. Look, I'm not saying a better

wouldn't.

There's still a hell of a lot to ask.

You could have given it a chance. It might have worked. No, it wouldn't.

Can't you see that?

I really wanted that baby.

I'm so sorry.

All I can do is try and help you now.

I know you can turn your life around, Vicky.

Sweetheart, you're still so young.

You've plenty of time for another baby.

Actually, there isn't. What do you mean?

I didn't want you to feel guilty because you were the one that thought I ought

to go through with the abortion, found me the clinic.

Oh, God, here we go again. Look, there were complications. What complications?

Bravo 2 to Golf 1.

Bravo 2 to Golf 1.

Golf 1,

go ahead.

We need you on the wing. I think we've got one down.

Shit.

It's Buxton.

I think she's gone.

She can't have. She's got to be somewhere.

You checked her back in from the wedding, didn't you?

Oh, no. Oh, Christ, man.

Oh, that's me job gone. I know it.

Sandy relies on me wages.

We'll be up shit quick. Look, don't panic.

Let's see if we can find out what's happened first. She might still be

You think she could be?

Well, let's start by talking to everyone from the blessing.

Right, you start with the jewelers. Come on, we ain't got much time.

All right. Come on, need to back yourself.

Come on, mate.

Come on, don't ask questions. Get on. What's up, guys?

Hurry up.

No, I

don't

think she'd come back.

That's where she's gone.

She went out with the bins.

You said you saw Natalie go in.

Sorry, mate.

I thought I did.

We got a call to gov.

You said nothing would ever stick to us.

And now we're getting a third degree.

Who handled it, didn't you?

That's not the point. She was meant to get caught escaping, and now she's got

off scot -free.

And they're looking to ask for answers.

Look, I'm sorry. It went wrong.

Yeah, well, thanks to you, the knee will not back out there again.

Vicky.

I still don't understand why you didn't say anything.

This isn't something you can fix.

I know.

Well, look, there's other options. There's fostering, there's adoption.

Like they're going to give a kid to a junkie lap dancer.

Well, then stop being one.

It's not that simple.

Yeah.

Don't I know it?

No.

You? Well, look, I'm not saying I was jacking up in the toilet every five

minutes, but... Then what?

Well, you know I like a drink.

And there were times where I just couldn't stop.

Why do you think I wasn't ready for the responsibility of a child?

And now?

A couple of drinks on special occasions.

I see you can control it. I can't. Yes, you can.

But I'm not saying it's going to be easy.

But I can help you through it.

Get you a place at a really good rehab clinic.

Lou to the rescue.

Only if that's what you want.

Yeah.

Sorry.

Lou Stoke?

What?

Right, put them on lockdown.

I'm on my way.

Can you believe it?

They put me in charge for five minutes and already someone's done a runner.

I'd better be going anyway.

Rowan will help you pick up your stuff, yeah?

Well, you're going to need to pack a bag.

I don't think even the poshest rehab dolls have decent clothes.

Everyone in your cells!

Come on, move it! Who is there?

anything.

No, but they sound like they are running around like chickens.

She must be long gone.

She's gone.

She is really gone.

This place has got a million frigging times better.

So she went out in the bin, Laurie?

That's what it looks like, yeah. Should we call the depot? Oh, please. She'll be

long gone. How the hell did this happen?

I don't know.

I thought I saw her go back in. Well, did you or didn't you?

Well, I can't remember actually seeing her, no. But this rat you're seeing...

Let me get this straight.

You checked a prisoner back in without actually seeing her. Is that right?

Unbelievable.

I want you off site right now. You are a liability.

But does that... Just go, Mandy.

We'll deal with this tomorrow.

Do you?

Goodnight.

That won't happen again.

Well, that's up to you, Rowan.

The final two months of your sentence will be suspended.

I'm releasing you on license.

What do you mean, releasing me?

You're free to go, Miss O 'Kane.

Julius.

I reckon we need to talk, yeah?

This is a stick -up!

Get down from there, right?

What the hell are you doing? Get on the floor, everyone.

Well, tomorrow night on STV, an investigation takes the team far from

bad city and into the country. A rural case for Taggart, tomorrow at 8 .30.