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Well, I can't wait to get stuck in.
Come on, ask. Who are you?
Neil Grayling.
I'm the new governing governor.
We both know I never killed O 'Kane.
Oh? And who did, then?
Your little tart, Purvis.
This is confidential, just between us and the water cylinder.
What's your view on your wing, Governor?
Plead guilty to manslaughter and 15 years might become five.
Don't you want some time to yourself?
No.
Knickers don't interest me, Maxie.
It's what goes inside of me that takes my fancy.
Let's have your lift.
Do you have anyone lined up to replace me?
Well, I haven't made a final decision, but yes, I have someone in mind.
Damn it.
Let me.
Di, you're making it worse.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Well, I did offer to make you breakfast.
Well, we were late enough anyway, weren't we?
And we know whose fault that was, don't we?
That is no way to treat your future wife.
You what?
You're kidding me, right?
You two don't waste much time, do you? Gone and booked the register office,
haven't you?
Can't get out of it now, can I?
You been buying those pinstripe holes, Elgin?
Drop the snide comments, will you?
It's not my fault I got the job.
Of course not. Nothing to do with you.
Morning, Governor.
Karen.
Right, folks.
The deal wants the word.
This won't take long.
I'd like to acknowledge your efforts over the last few weeks.
We've all had to adjust, and I've been gratified by the support you've shown
Fanner. Hear, hear.
G -Wing's finally settling down and the new lock haul's taking shape.
You'll be pleased to hear that the new airlock is nearing completion.
So, keep up the good work and this is a treat from me for your tea break.
Thanks, sir. It's very kind.
Oh, it clears.
Nice to know you're appreciated for once.
Makes a change.
Right, let's get on with it.
I'm bringing Atkins back from the block today.
I think a month's long enough.
A month's lenient.
All the lies she told about O 'Kane, wasting police time.
Manslaughter, my eye.
It was murder, plain and simple.
Yep, I think we're going to be looking after Atkins for a very long time.
Now, we've got canteen today.
Barry, Mark, you'll be supervising the movement.
Di, Sue, Bob, locks, bolts and bars. And that's about it.
Um, this isn't work -related.
Well, it is in a way.
You're all invited to attend a wedding three weeks on Thursday.
Who's getting married?
I am.
Who to?
Oh,
Prince Harry.
Who do you think?
Come on, Atkins. You're going back on the wing.
Hurry up.
Get dressed.
You and me have got something in common.
I heard that Fender dicks you over and all.
But you didn't see it coming.
Two. We know you'd get into it.
I've got the screw dragged in.
Keep moving, Purvis.
Finally put your murdering hands up, did you?
Purvis.
You killed our friend, miss.
On you go, bitch.
Glad you know you're stuck.
How's business?
Oh, I'm up against it, sir.
It's a good job these shoulders are broad.
There's been a lot of flak from the girls.
And I can't say my colleagues have gone out of their way to help.
But I'll let the figures speak for themselves.
So when can I see the paperwork?
Well, I'm doing my best. But it's the antiquated ordering system.
You know what it's like in this place.
Time stood still.
That's about to change.
Well, I must say, sir, you've made an excellent... Excellent start with our
wing governor.
There's an upgrade coming your way too, Sylvia.
Gosh.
That's what Barry said.
And is he getting a die done?
He says he's thinking about it.
What happened there?
Oh, that's the way.
Had to hold me down.
Did they put your shoulder in a vice?
It was agony.
I was jumping out the chair.
Well, I hope it's all worth it.
Tattoos for life.
And Phil's Barry.
And you know that already?
After only a month?
What are you doing?
Showing me her secret.
Tattoo.
She'll think you're as daft as I do, then.
Right, well... I've got these upstairs.
Before I forget.
And then congratulations are in order.
Yeah.
Must have been love at first sight, then.
You going to clear these mugs up?
You lot think she's a soft touch, don't you?
Miss Barker?
You won't.
When she's Mrs Pearce.
What's this rubbish?
Shampoo.
For blonde or highlighted hair.
Do I look blonde, miss?
Shampoo, shampoo.
Now move.
You heard.
Move your arse.
Evil car.
This is Holliday. Yes.
There's a package from area.
There's a bloke here with a big one for you, miss.
Where do you want it?
I can tell you where to shove that.
Quiet!
What is it? I've ordered nothing from area.
It's a computer.
Computer?
What the thing am I supposed to do with that?
Home sweet home, eh?
Piss off, then.
You want to watch it, Atkins.
You're talking to the wing governor.
Been kissing half again, have we?
Well, you shafted bets up the hard way, haven't you?
You dried up, old tar.
You think you can get away with murder?
Well, your life's going to be a bloody misery from now on.
I'm going to make sure of it.
I'm over this.
Here, do these and all.
I ain't doing yours.
Oh, no.
What happened?
Ask her.
Well?
She wasn't even a laugh, was she, Crystal?
She's having a baby, for Christ's sake.
I was a bit daft there. Can't help it. Got her hormones mixed up, innit?
You've got so much to say for yourself, Purvis.
Problem? Yeah.
These two.
Back to work, both of you.
That means you, Purvis.
She's got an attitude, that one.
Think she's running the place.
Maybe we need to remind her who's boss.
Purvis, my office, now.
Purvis?
You heard.
Oh,
he popped it. On bended knee.
Oh, you'd better get him up the aisle quick, miss.
He's changed his mind.
It's already booked.
Well, what are you doing about a dress then, miss?
Well, it's only at Streatham Registry Office, so nothing fancy.
Oh, you've got to dial up, miss. Get him all juiced up for the honeymoon.
Honeymoon, yeah.
Well, I did buy some bridal magazines, but I don't know where to get started.
You bring them magazines in, miss. We'll point you where.
Oh, would you?
You know we love a bride, miss.
Thanks to you, Liz.
Well, at least she's copped a bloke of her own this time, eh?
Doesn't mean to say he's the right one.
Well, you like weddings, Babs.
She ought to.
She's had enough of them.
Hi, what's the hurry?
I've got a prison wing to run.
And you turn me on.
Of course I do.
You and me's got a good thing going.
Just as long as you know who's calling the shots.
No favours.
After the favour I've done you.
The old bag in the bath.
Okay, now.
Who let the air out?
You saying you did me a favour with O 'Kane?
Don't have to put on an act with me.
You don't think Atkins topped her, do you?
As far as I'm concerned, she's pled guilty.
To manslaughter, at least.
The police have still got the right person.
Let's get back to where we were then. No, it's too risky.
I thought you liked it like that.
It's you who's at risk.
Till Atkins goes down for good.
Atkins? Who's she?
A gangster's mole who had her old man shot in the head. That's who.
The old bag shriveled your nuts.
You'd better do what I tell you.
Out.
Your loss.
It's called Purvis. Back to the wing.
Mouse.
Mouse.
Graphical user interface.
Point and click.
Are you two making friends?
Oh, yes, sir. We've definitely clicked.
Not too heavy.
Mr. Pierce doesn't like a tarty look.
He just doesn't like women.
Well, we know you don't like men.
You don't know what you're missing, Cher.
Not like that.
I mean, the way a gentleman treats a lady.
Like the other night, he cooked us tea from scratch.
He even made his own banoffee pie.
I said he could have mine, cos with the wedding coming up, I wanted to stay as
trim as I can.
He said I'm perfect as I am.
Oh!
Haven't you got any mates of your own, miss?
It's just her banging on about a crappy wedding during my edit.
Well, why don't you naff off?
Why are you marrying Piers anyhow?
He's dog shit.
He dug his clothes into my arm, didn't he?
I had marks there for days.
I thought I told you.
I'm going before I throw up.
Come on, Emmy. Back her up.
This is Pink Petal.
How'd you like to go on in, Aunt Stale?
Wasn't that good?
That shit Fenner thinks he can prick me about.
I'll show him prick.
It's just a bit of help with make -up and things.
I just don't like the prisoners knowing about our personal lives.
Oh, but it's the Julies.
They're girls.
Girls love a wedding.
No, you're right.
I got carried away.
Just when you're as happy as this, you want to tell the world.
Just tone it down a bit, OK?
Did you call your mum?
No. Why not? You said you would.
Don't worry, she'll like me.
I'm not worried about her liking you.
What, you think I won't like her?
She can be hard work, that's all.
I bet she's a sucker for good looks and charm.
Just like her daughter.
All right?
Okay.
We'll come for you next week.
to see you last week. You avoiding me or what?
I've been busy.
Yeah, well, me and Al, we want to go up on an aunt.
Do you? We're going to have to wait.
Wait?
Jesus, you're really starting to get on my clit.
I'll consider your request along with the others, Purvis. You're not entitled
special treatment.
That ain't what you say to me in private.
Who's she?
Maxie Purvis.
Well, I don't like her tone.
Well, it's life in a women's nick, sir.
Best things to turn a deaf ear.
What do you want?
Well, we can't make the place look nice for you sat here.
No, I fancy going to put the hood off.
We're worried about you.
We've never seen you look so down.
Well, what do you expect?
Well, we ain't going to leave you stuck here on your own. You've done enough of
that down the block. Down the block, yeah.
I've got a letter here from Lauren, begging me to do something.
Like I can snap my fingers and the charge will be dropped.
I don't even want to come and visit.
I only make...
You have a good cry.
They're going to start getting things sorted.
Yeah.
I'm screwed.
Even if they do accept the mantle, I could be looking at another ten years.
Well, listen, right?
We've been thinking.
I've warned him what Mum's like, but...
He has to do things the right way.
He's bought up this huge bouquet of flowers.
Die. Just don't get angry if she don't say thanks.
Tell me what to do already.
Come on, let's get back to it.
Here, sit.
Put her down, will you?
What are you staring at, hun?
Yeah, I still can't believe those two.
Known each other a month and they're getting hitched.
Weren't you and Gina about to tie the knot?
I finished it.
I'm sorry, Mark.
I didn't know.
Well, after what happened with the baby, it all went wrong.
She's putting for a transfer to a men's prison.
She won't be coming back here, whatever.
Something to be said for not rushing things.
What about you and Jim?
Apart from this place, we haven't seen each other for weeks.
Well, if you're ever at a loose end, you know, I guess I am too.
What have you said about Mr Pearce?
What? Your arm, but he hurt you.
What's it to you?
Well, why didn't you make a complaint?
Pardon? Well, it might stop him doing it again.
Bastards like Pierce don't stop.
Not ever.
They're cowards, and they know it, and they hate it, and the only thing that
makes them feel better is kicking the crap out of some girl.
Shaz, if you are right about Mr Pierce... I am right.
Then Miss Barker could be making a dreadful mistake.
The truth is, I saw a massive bruise on her shoulder.
That can't...
If I could ban cigarettes altogether, I would.
You'd have a riot on your hands, sir.
That's the smoker talking.
When I was married, I smoked 40 a day. If I can kick it, my officers can.
Especially on duty.
What the hell?
Is no -one supervising this wing?
What the faster's done that?
Look, there is slander. I want whoever done it strung up. That's enough,
You'll be up on a charge.
For what? I ain't done nothing.
I'll deal with it, sir. Don't want to hold you up.
I've got your measure, Miss Purvis.
You're behind this.
I don't ask for favours, Fenner.
Don't like owing people.
Gets messy.
All right.
Get off and get your lunch.
Go on.
Same goes for the rest of you. Go on.
You better not let that bitch get away with it, writing them lies.
What lies?
What's on these walls happens to be bloody true.
There's ooze.
I don't need her spreading rumours. It'll bollock things up for me on the
won't it?
Listen, love, I've already told you there's nothing I can do.
There is.
Put Al and me on enhanced.
That'll show that you don't believe a word of it.
You bark orders at me, you little bitch.
You just got this job.
You don't want to be the first wing governor to end up on the other side of
bars, do you?
All right, team.
Do you want to bring your train here with us?
Is it true what they wrote?
You have to ask.
Is it true?
Do you hear that?
Me own sister thinks I'm a murderer.
You'd better watch your mouth.
Is it true?
Atkins done it.
Fenner heard her, remember?
I forgot about that.
Anything else you want to accuse me of?
No.
I'm sorry.
I don't like it, Maxie.
I thought I'd begin to point the finger at her.
Don't worry.
We've got friends in high places.
Me? Matron of honour?
Well, I don't know.
A fortnight Thursday.
Well, what about an outfit?
Well, it's nothing fancy. A smart skirt and top will do.
Well, my hair won't do by then.
I'd have to move my appointment.
All right.
Anything to help a friend in need.
Thanks, Sylvia.
I won't ask you to make a speech at the reception.
Well, it's all ever the sudden day.
Am I to draw the obvious conclusion?
We're in love.
There's a bun in that oven. Mark my words.
Wouldn't be surprised.
Well, I suppose you'd better start baking while it's still switched on.
Have you got a minute, Sue?
Oh, I'm rather pressed.
This is an assignment for Mr Grayling.
Ah, right.
Only I'm working out some moves on G -Wing.
Putting Atkins back on basic for Starford.
Good. Any recommendations for a move up?
No. Stale bread and swamp water for the lot of them. I'll have to shift someone
on to Enhance to make room.
Who's been the least annoying this week?
Well, Maxie Purvis, I suppose.
Purvis it is, then.
And Mackenzie.
I guess it'll help keep them out of Atkins' way, eh?
It'll do a nice bit of rubbing her nose in it.
You're right there, Soph.
Thanks.
What will we do without you, eh?
What the heck?
Well, either of you guys know who done it?
No, I don't care.
Here, mate.
Here. I can see Miss Barker in that.
Oh, I don't know.
Well, not in peach, but in crane.
Here, what do you think, Babs?
A bit too much cleavage?
I'm really not sure.
I don't really think Miss Barker should be getting married at all.
Eh?
It's a bleeding miracle. She's got a bloke anyway. She'd better bag him
I don't understand why you two are so keen, unless you want to see her suffer.
Eh? Get off.
Oh, we know she's a screwball. We just want to see her happy. Happy. Like she
with him.
Happy like nutty, yeah? Yeah.
But that's just it.
She's too needy, clingy. No normal man wants that.
Well, Mr Pierce seems normal enough for me.
May I'd scoff his banoffee pie for him?
And he likes her. You should hear the way she talks about him.
She loves him, and he loves her.
Well, I think Mr Pearce has got a nasty streak.
And I think Miss Barker's either too scared or too stupid to admit it.
You sing a nasty streak, Jo.
Well, not on him, Jo.
That's enough slacking, Hunt.
Time you made yourself useful.
That's the beast there.
But what do you want?
Just a database.
What's your account package?
Take whatever you can fiddle.
Where'd you get that?
Bog off.
You grubby little pervert.
Me?
You're the big perv, mister.
We tried that with Miss Barker.
Right, give us that ear off. Go on, finish what you were going to say. Or
what? Beat me black and blue like you done to her?
What the hell are you talking about?
Us girls know all about you.
If Barker's brain was as big as a bug, you'd get rid of that wanker, Piers. Say
one more word. Do you mind? This is private. What are you going to do,
dick? No!
Go on, then.
Show us.
You're on report.
Jesus.
What are you doing?
You saw.
He ate me.
And Kate busted.
Right. Thank you.
Here you go, Helen.
Thanks.
What?
Oh, I don't know.
How about the truth?
All right.
Your career's gone down the bog and your hair looks like crap, miss.
You expect me to believe Mr Pearce punched you in the face for no reason?
Look at me.
He said you did it yourself.
He's lying.
Bastard smacked me once.
I'm not nutter, miss.
He is.
Ask Barbara.
Honestly, Barry, I have never seen Montlaw taken with anyone.
You're a real charmer, you are.
You know that, don't you?
She even had a smile for me.
Rare as hen's teeth, that, a smile for me.
Try not to worry, Horne.
Easy for you to say.
Your job's not on the line.
It won't come to that.
What do you know about it?
You won't get away with it, the lying little bitch. I'll see to that.
You've taken my statement, Miss. I really don't have anything else to add.
Not much of a statement, though, is it?
You were in the room, but you didn't actually see Shaz get hit?
No.
So, the truth is, you don't really know what happened.
Well, it's obvious what happened.
Two people were involved in an altercation and one of them was injured.
Don't be clever, Barbara.
Do you believe Mr Pearce actually punched Shaz?
He's certainly capable of it.
And he's like, pow!
She's looking at his eyes.
Bastard. And to think they was defending him.
Girl, you was right about him all along, Babs.
Looks like him.
Shad's wily.
You seen this, miss?
She did that injury to herself.
I thought I heard everything, man.
Now the crew's the same, we're going round and sorting ourselves.
You, stop this nonsense.
Now.
And you, I thought I could trust you to tell the truth.
The facts speak for themselves. We know it hurts, miss. He's your fella.
You love him. Yeah.
So we're thinking straight for you.
Dump him.
Just shut up.
You are disgusting.
Every one of you.
Oh, for God's sake, woman, will you just wake up?
Good.
She'll barely be well, please.
Some cell changes on G -Wing.
Can you seek them after the meeting?
Purvis and McKenzie on Enhanced.
Problem? Are you kidding?
Since when have they earned that?
Well, we've got to punish Atkins for doing a runner. And I need bodies on the
threes. Anyway, it's Sylvia's recommendation.
Well, I'm sorry.
Sylvia's had one too many cream cakes.
Look, Jim, I'm not being difficult.
I'd be unprofessional if I didn't give you my honest opinion.
No.
What's unprofessional is letting your antagonism towards me cloud your
judgement. Excuse me? That's what's happening here, isn't it?
Let's be honest, for once.
I can't agree to put Purvis or Mackenzie on enhanced.
Fine. Get someone else to do it.
Miss Barker.
Just leave me alone.
I didn't mean to snap like I did. I'm sorry.
You call yourself a Christian.
Bearing false witness.
Because that's what you've done, haven't you?
I haven't said anything about Mr. Pierce that I don't honestly believe to be the
truth.
Maybe Mrs. Ollenby's right.
Prisoners really are a different breed.
We're only trying to help you because... Because we think he hits you.
And you'll be making a terrible mistake if you marry him.
Yeah.
Well, it just goes to show, doesn't it?
I'm sorry, but not everyone can be mad, bad or sad like you lot.
Me and Mr Pearce are just normal, ordinary people who love each other.
Fox and all.
Having made a thorough inquiry, no corroborating evidence has been found to
up Shaz Wiley's accusations.
You're officially in the clear, Barry.
I should think so, too.
Thank you.
Thanks for all your support.
All for one, and one for all. Or those hyenas will tear us to shreds.
Yeah, well, it still doesn't make any sense to me.
I mean, I know Barbara Hunt's lying.
Why? I don't know. I mean, it's so unlike her.
Well, I hope they know I can sue them for slander after what they accused me
Well, you've taken a load off our minds, Karen.
We've been nervous wrecks all week, haven't we, Barry? Well, hardly.
I'm innocent, and you'll be proved.
Of course.
Fact is, mate, Wiley's clearly got it in for you.
So watch your back, all right?
Yeah, I will.
Wiley's the one who should watch it.
Oh, one last thing, Phil.
Could you see to it that Maxie Purvis... Can I have a word, Jim?
OK, folks, that's all.
Have you lost the plot?
Maxie Purvis on Enhanced. Please explain.
Well, I realise Purvis is a borderline candidate. Borderline?
From what I've seen, she's verging on sociopathic.
Oh, sorry, Jim.
I'm going to have to overrule you on this one.
You conniving little bitch.
I didn't go running to the number one.
He just obviously shared my opinion.
Why do you give a shit where Purvis is, ma 'am?
Why do you?
Karen?
You ready?
Sure.
What's the matter, Fenner?
You don't look happy.
A little shag -bag Purvis giving you trouble, is she?
You never learn.
You'd better start minding your manners, Atkins.
Or what?
You'll shackle some murdering little tart and fix me up for what she's done.
You've already done that.
Haven't you?
What a week.
Still, at least we've got the support of everyone at work.
I don't think Shaz Wiley will try a stunt like that again.
What are we talking about? That's bad little con for anyway.
This is supposed to be a celebration.
The future.
You and me.
And your mum.
I tell you what, when I fill my house, we'll get something a better size.
Big enough for your mum as well.
What, and have her come and live with us?
Yeah.
You'd be prepared to do that?
Do what?
She's a sweet old lady.
You appreciate them when you've loved them, don't you?
Come on, drink up.
Oh, what's with the waterworks?
Sorry. They'll die away, is it?
Oh, you are so wonderful, Barry. Sometimes you really are.
I'm offering to have Mum come and live with us.
Most blokes would run a mile.
I'm not most blokes, am I?
No, you're not.
Still, I think it would be better if we leave our way to live for the time
being.
Well, that's up to you.
Oh!
I finally sorted out my wedding outfit.
What, you're not wearing your uniform?
No.
I'm pulling your leg. Die, for Christ's sake, have it. Ring.
I don't know, sometimes it's like pulling Pete trying to get a laugh out
And you bloody Betts would clear him.
Yeah, well, that screws on her, innit?
A way to look after their own.
Just like to think how Miss Barker end up. See me cow?
Well, a lot of women are very desperate for love, Shaz. And a good Roger Ewing.
Miss Barker's as desperate as they can get. And that man knows it. At least
a looker.
Yeah, but look what he's done to Shaz, June.
You think Miss Barker ain't going to get the same and worse?
Why are men bastards?
Hello, Barbara.
Time to chat, have we?
I'd like to eat, surely.
You can eat when the job's done.
Can you tell Miss Barker to dump him, Babs? She'll listen to you. You're posh.
I've tried telling her. I can't make her listen.
Where are they getting married again?
To a registry office, won't you? Next Thursday.
Straight on, yeah.
I'm not so sure this is such a good idea.
All we're doing is giving that dozy cow a chance to change her mind.
I know a girl going out tomorrow.
She can post it for us.
Your carriage awaits.
I look all right.
So beautiful.
Thank you, thanks, sir.
This is it?
Yeah.
Tomorrow, Tenerife.
Shall we?
You're not going to believe this.
Let's hope all that make -up's waterproof.
I didn't write this.
You are Barry Pearce?
Yes, I am.
But I didn't write... And we had a call from Miss Barker confirming the
cancelling. No!
Well, I'm sorry, but we're full now today.
If you want to make another booking... No, I don't want to make another
booking, do I? Come on, Barry, there's no need for... Piss off!
This is your fault. Mine?
Yeah. Who do you think wrote this?
Well, I didn't! No.
Not you. You bitch conmates.
I told you, don't let those friggin' women know our business.
But did you listen?
Did you?
No.
And now they've gone and cancelled our friggin' wedding, haven't they?
Haven't they?
You stupid...
Are they done?
Done and dusted.
I wasn't expecting you back for a while, actually. I thought you'd still be out
celebrating. Ha!
No?
Don't come it, Hunt.
Someone in here cancelled it.
Poor Miss Barker was left stood there bawling her eyes out.
Awful. The groom was none too pleased, I can tell you.
Wait to get his hands on whoever's responsible.
Oh, sir, I was just coming to look for you.
You look very fetching today, Sylvia.
Well, given the opportunity.
Well, as to these.
Excellent.
You should have been computerised years ago.
Oh, I know.
It's been like the dark ages.
As far as I'm concerned, if you can't use a computer these days, you're
basically illiterate. I couldn't agree more.
I'm giving a seminar on part privatisation in the prison service next
these figures, well, I'll just say it all, you couldn't ruffle up some
could you, for overheads and handouts?
You know, nothing fancy, just a few pie charts and a bit of colour.
I'll leave it to your expert design skills.
If you want enhanced, you'll have to be patient.
Just lay low for a while.
Keep that pretty little nose clean and you'll get everything you want and more.
I'll make sure of it.
Look, it's not my fault they're number one at meddling tight ass.
My dad told me, don't let no one get the better of you.
Especially not some soft cock screw.
Either I get what I want, or you're going down.
You're bluffing, Purvis.
What will you accuse me of?
Helping you get away with murder?
You'd have to confess to do that.
You don't know me at all, do you?
I was starting to worry.
No, Farage!
Happy now?
Are you?
Happy you made a fool out of me?
Are you?
Shut up.
You couldn't help yourself, could you?
You couldn't help yourself flapping your big mouth to all your con buddies?
Talk about me, did you?
Have a little chat?
Help set me up, did you? No!
You ugly, ungrateful bitch! No!
Mary! Shut up!
I
don't
know where the hell you're coming from.
First... Did you fit me up?
And now you're saying let's get Purvis?
Look, we've both got our wires crossed over who killed O 'Kane.
Just tell me, do you want off this rap or not?
So you're going to change your story?
I might.
This is bollocks.
I would rather trust a nun.
In a playground.
Before I trapped you.
Listen.
I swear.
You help me.
And I help you.
We need each other.
You know we do.
Well, if you don't get a filming I can use by lunchtime, that's you seriously
bollocks, love.
Yeah?
And that means you and all.
You interferon old mother, I'll clean your dirty mouth out! Uh, Daniela,
Blood?
How's it going, miss?
Do you miss me?
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