Original subtitles

Thank you.

Up the ramp.

Everybody out.

Everyone up the ramp, please.

Get out. Go away.

Quiet.

You and you together?

Someone slipped up.

Mark. Yeah?

Will you turn here?

Watch it.

Do you want to get this bit up again?

Lighten up, will you?

Take a seat over there, please.

That's right.

Thanks, mate.

Had a knife fall, then?

For Christ's sake.

Look, do you want to come over here?

Name?

Charlotte Middleton.

Just need to ask you a few questions, Charlotte, OK?

Now, just for your first offence.

Yes. Are you taking drugs or medications?

No.

Are you carrying drugs of any kind?

Look, is all this necessary?

Just answer the question, sweetheart.

I beg your pardon?

We only put the red carpet out for your sort when you're opening prisons, not

entering them.

What's your name?

Can't you read?

I'm not answering any more questions. I know my rights. We'll have that for a

start. Have we got those forms?

What forms?

I'm just doing my job.

Telephone calls aren't an automatic right at this stage, I'm afraid.

But if we go through this paperwork, I'll see what I can do.

OK?

Crystal Gordon's back with us, I'm sorry to say.

Crystal? Accused of harbouring Shell Dockley and Denny Blood.

And drugs were found in her possession.

I'd like you to be a personal officer, Dive, that's right.

Dive? Oh, sorry.

Yeah.

Now, some of you will have met the Honourable Charlotte Middleton, daughter

the Tory Home Affairs spokesman in the Lords.

He turned her in, didn't he, the father? His chauffeur found a wrap of coke in

the car after she'd been driving it.

Daddy thought it a get -out, so... And she got 12 more for that.

They got it with supplying as well.

If you may have problems adjusting here.

Four of us share that.

And you make your own bed.

The girls will show you.

I suppose you don't know how.

You don't know anything about me.

No? Well, I'm learning.

I'll take care of this, Gina.

Oh, we have.

We've got the posh. Brilliant.

Right. I'll leave you lot to introduce yourselves.

You got any gear?

Take it this is mine.

Are you deaf?

How would I bring any gear in?

You might have crouched some.

Any flu box?

That's what you're in for, innit? You're a cokehead.

Well, any time you want something, that's suited by a few hits.

Yeah, you didn't get that from Topshop, did you?

Feel that's a knob. Can you get me out?

All I did was stab my pimp.

Didn't say much, did she?

Do you know Prince William?

Have you shagged him?

Oh, for God's sake.

You must be well pissed off with Dockley.

What do you think?

I assume it was her idea to go to your place.

It was her idea to drop me in it and all. How come?

Because I wouldn't let her do drugs.

Now I'm in here and I haven't done nothing.

Kill show when I see her.

Yeah, well, I'll look the other way when you do.

Hello, Crystal.

Catch you later.

Just to say that I'm your personal officer, so any problems, things you

talk about, we'll soon have it sorted out, OK?

All friends clear.

Don't talk to me, Shaz.

Why? What have I done?

You're one of the reasons I'm back, innit?

Mate.

If you and them two hadn't have broken out... I didn't know they'd go to you.

It went to a seashell.

They're gone, man.

And they're never coming back.

And when I get out, I'm going to find Denny and join her.

When they get her, she's going down for a long time.

No way.

And you're going to be outside waiting for her.

Who's this?

Crystal. Remember I told you about her?

This is boozy.

Got any gear?

Nothing changes, does it?

How's the new girl?

Dunno, won't speak to us.

Hello there.

I need one.

Ooh, it's not exactly Marco Pio White, is it?

Look, we all find it hard when we first come in here.

But ask anyone. The only way to get through is to muck in.

Really?

You won't get nothing out of her, everyone.

She knows it all.

She thought she was above the law till Daddy shocked her.

This is all you've got, isn't it?

This little bit of power in here.

Is that why you took the job, Miss?

Dance that more than you've got right now.

Yes, but in six months' time I'll be gone and you'll still be here.

I'd say that was rather sad.

You're making a big mistake.

You rattled her cage, all right.

I wouldn't want to get on the wrong side of you.

Then don't.

Trouble is, away with words ain't enough in here.

Especially when you walk around like the flaming Queen of Sheba.

You're in the jungle now.

I'd noticed.

That little can is teaching a lesson.

We must fix the time to have that chat.

I've just been so busy.

We're really short -staffed at the moment.

Yeah? Yeah.

What was Nick with Hollandby off?

Cavalry's on its way, though.

Do you remember Josh Mitchell?

He used to be the odd job man here.

Yeah.

He's at college training to be a PO.

He'll be back any day now.

Come to think of it, didn't you used to have a crush on him?

Me?

Just gossip.

I wouldn't blame you if you had, though.

He's a lovely lad.

Is everything all right?

Yes, miss.

Because that's what I'm here for, you know.

If there's something that's bothering you.

If you'd feel better for getting it off your chest.

Can you give us a hand with these arms, Crystal?

Can you do it yourself, Dawn?

They weigh a ton, Miss. We've been told not to lift them on our own.

I'll see you later.

Where's Lady Mutt gone, then?

Her and Crystal are down in the shower.

She said something about getting the stench of the prison out of her hair.

Mm. Did she know?

I think it's about time that our little princess had a change of image.

What do you think, girls?

Usual, please, Tracy.

I'm going to have to watch myself.

I nearly clocked out this morning.

Look, you do that again and you're out.

Thank you, sweetheart.

I do not need reminding.

Another lager, please.

You look as shagged out as I am.

You from Larco?

No, Rockworth.

I live round the corner, though.

You get an easier time of it in a men's nick, I always say.

That's coming from a woman.

Are you from over the road, then?

Worth luck.

Yeah, you've just got that pie tart, haven't you? What's the name?

Charlotte Middleton.

Yeah, that's right.

Yeah, we were just talking about her.

Pain in the neck.

Yeah, I bet.

We had a tough like that once.

Had the governor round his little finger.

Nice girl on his own.

She'd be lucky.

She's sharing a dorm with a crackhead and a Jesus freak.

Nice one.

I don't know which is worse.

Crackhead takes some beating. She's in for stabbing her pin.

Oh, I know who you're talking about.

Yeah, it was in the papers.

Bookie Lester.

Yeah, that's right, Bookie Lester.

I don't envy you there.

She'd sell her mother down the river for a spliff.

Why do we do it?

Oh, well, I'll leave you in peace.

Yeah, take care.

See you.

Who's got them?

What?

What's it?

What do you think you're doing, man?

What are you after?

You know perfectly bloody well.

What's the problem?

Ask these two.

I don't know what she's on about.

If it's not them, it's the other one.

What is?

They've stolen my clothes.

No, we never.

Well, they didn't disappear into thin air.

Aren't you going to arrest them?

Look, if you seriously expect me to conduct some kind of investigation into

use of your clothes, I'm not going to.

You took my advice then?

I'm sorry?

Dressing Dan a bit?

Better than lauding it about.

It was you, wasn't it? What was?

That's a bit subtle for me.

You're talking to an animal now, remember?

Are you not having breakfast?

I'm not hungry, miss.

Are you sure you're all right?

What is it, Crystal?

I know something's troubling you.

It's somebody giving you a hard time.

No, miss, it's not that.

Then what?

You know what you said about Josh?

About me having a crush on him and that?

I was only joking.

No, but it's more than a crush.

Lives together, see?

You and Josh Mitchell?

I was at his house when I was arrested.

Well, didn't the police question Mr Mitchell?

No. The flat's in his mate's name.

He's out of the country.

So he doesn't know.

I swore to him I'd never get into trouble again.

God knows what he's going to think when he finds me back here.

Well, how long have you two been together?

Since I got hurt.

Only we're not, like, sleeping together.

We're saving ourselves till we get married.

You're getting married?

If he'll still love me.

He won't blame me if he didn't.

I'll have a think.

See what I can come up with.

How do you know it was Yvonne Atkins?

It was written all over her face.

I need more than that, I'm afraid.

She nearly hit me yesterday lunchtime.

That man, Fenner, had to stop her.

So how did she get into your cell?

She wouldn't do the dirty work herself, would she?

I'll look into it.

It's more like a Turkish jail than an English one.

I'm not that au fait with Turkish jails, I'm afraid.

If you have an aversion to prison, it's a good idea not to do the crime.

My father's going to hear about this place.

Fine.

Most inmates speak to their parents.

Darling, how are you?

Where's my father?

He couldn't get away.

He didn't want his picture in tomorrow's paper, you mean.

You have to see it from his point of view.

I can't imagine the hell we've had with the press.

He should have thought about the press before he went to the police.

We've been through all that.

Anyway, what's he doing to get me out?

The lawyers are making an appeal for unfair sentencing.

But that'll take months.

I'll be out before then anyway.

He's doing everything he can.

He's in a very difficult position.

So, if he's not going to get me out... Give him time.

I don't think...

Sit down, Bookie.

Am I in trouble, Miss?

Charlotte says her clothes have been stolen.

She says they were taken in the night.

Now, if that's true, it was either you, Shaz, or Crystal.

Miss, I thought I saw a man in the room last night.

Oh, for Christ's sake, I'm going to get to the bottom of this.

Now, if you were involved, you'd better say now, because if I find out later...

If you're staying quiet to protect someone else, someone outside your cell,

maybe?

Whatever you say here won't go any further.

It was me and Shaznith.

Yvonne made us.

We didn't have no choice. We were shit scared of her.

What did you do with them?

She told us to burn them.

You won't tell her I said, will you, miss? She'll kill me.

I might know where your clothes are.

you. I didn't take them. I heard it was crystal.

Yvonne told her to throw them out the window.

So where might they be?

You have to pay if you want them back.

Oh, so that's what it's about.

You want them or not?

Yeah, sure. I'll just write you a check.

I have no more money than you have.

No, but we can trade.

That ring looks tasty.

That ring was my grandmother's.

See yourself.

So you deny it?

I don't even know what you're talking about.

Conspiring to have her clothes stolen and burnt?

Sounds like the gunpowder plot.

I was told you did it, Yvonne. So do.

I'm not prepared to disclose my source of information.

I'm entitled to know.

I can sue you for slander.

That's your prerogative.

In the meantime, I'm giving you 42 days' loss of remission.

What? And a poor report to probation.

I expect a speedy improvement in your behaviour.

That'll be all.

But you can't do this. I haven't done anything.

Come on, Atkins, don't make it worse for you. But you keep your hands off me.

I'd keep it buttoned if I was you.

Someone's grasped me up to bets about Lady Muck's clothes.

Weren't me.

Like we'd grasp you up.

Spooky.

Let's help.

Me.

If there's one thing I can't stand, it's a knock.

Do you mind saying that in English?

A cup of little tart.

I just want to be left alone.

No one grasses on me and gets away with it.

Just tell your psychics to get my clothes back. That's all I ask.

You don't get it, do you?

You don't give me orders.

You're nothing special.

You're just a common criminal.

One more word, and I'll snap that little brass neck of yours in two.

Don't go running to Betts again, or you'll wish you were dead.

There you go.

Where's the rest?

The rest?

Didn't expect to get it all back from that ring, did you?

That ring was a priceless family heirloom.

That ring's worth what I can get for it, which is piss all in here.

A few phone cards and more, you've got any of them?

Just have to wait till payday then, won't you?

Buy it back a bit at a time.

For you to steal again?

Here, have your bloody booty.

Poor girl.

I've tried talking to her. Yeah, so has everyone else.

But if she's too far up her aristocratic arc to talk back, she can go shady,

though.

She still hasn't come out yet. Do you think she's all right?

Are you two finished on here?

I thought I told you to burn that.

What's the point? We can get money out of her.

What? Yeah.

She won't. She ain't getting it back on her unless she keeps coughing up.

You been backbiting her?

You stupid bitch!

You can have a cut!

God! It was thanks to Yvonne Atkins that we got to her in time.

How did she know?

She saw her go in there, knew she'd been depressed, and when she didn't come

out, she went in and found her.

In view of that, I prescinded her 42 days' loss of remission.

It was Yvonne who made her depressed in the first place.

Yvonne and others.

Anyway, she's had a few days in hospital and she's back this morning.

What sort of state is she in?

She's on antidepressants.

I'm keeping her on 15 -minute suicide watch for the time being. Great.

Well, the good news is Josh Mitchell will be joining us later today.

OK, I know he's green.

In the present climate, every little helps.

Do you rather be dead?

Well, I'm glad you're not.

You gave me hell of a bloody fright.

Sorry.

No.

I'm sorry.

I thought you were the god of your maid out, didn't I?

I hate my father.

People only... The drunk, you know.

And my mother.

You're one of us now, right?

I'm just the posh.

Be back later.

Thanks for seeing me.

You're the one who's paying.

I'll take it you're a reporter.

That letter was a bit, you know, more vague.

Letters get opened.

So what do you want to know?

As long as it's about Charlotte Middleton.

Anything.

How do I know you'll pay?

100 quid in there.

Camera.

If you can get any...

No, we could not, Mark.

What do you mean?

Once we come up with something.

So what can you tell me?

Tried to top herself a few days ago.

You're kidding.

Today?

He's on the roster for this morning.

I've just checked.

I don't know how I'm going to get through this.

Oh, you'll be fine.

Only... I think we should keep quiet about your telling me.

Yeah? Well, some people can get really funny about others knowing their

business.

Especially men.

Yeah, maybe you're right.

Um, I'm only thinking of you.

I really appreciate it, miss.

How'd it go?

Yeah, it went really well, yeah.

Told you it wasn't so hard.

Yeah, I was surprised.

It seemed to be more about street wisdom than anything.

At least that's what they kept saying, anyway.

Well, you look great in the uniform.

Yeah.

You're not nervous, are you?

You look a bit out of sorts.

No, I'm fine.

Go on.

There's your clothes, right?

Well, I... Sorry.

And?

There's your ring.

I'll leave you in peace.

Seems strange.

Yeah. I was men in fuses last time I was here, so...

You said you could get me some

nubbies?

Are you for real?

You'll have to pay.

How's it going?

Fine, yeah.

Did I see that Crystal girl back on the wing?

Crystal Gordon, yeah.

She's turned out to be a revelation.

How come?

Well, we all thought she'd reformed.

Turns out she was hiding Denny and Shell when they'd escaped.

What?

Doing heroin with them as well.

Crystal... She's religious, isn't she?

Didn't stop her getting into trouble before.

It just makes you wonder, you know.

It's all a front.

Shalom.

out tomorrow, don't you, Jo? Can't bleed in wait.

1 ,900 quid.

I've got a package for you.

I'll pay it, Debra. I'm not mewling no gear out.

Who said it was gear?

Suicide attempt.

Selling clothes to buy drugs. The lot.

How'd the camera get it?

Well, if I knew that.

It could be a setup.

I mean, she's asleep.

Anyone could have put that stuff by the bed.

I want her testing for drugs.

Di, can you do that?

Sure, yeah.

Do the others in that dorm while you're at it, and anyone else on the wing, you

suspect.

Lord Middleton said that he was appalled and that his daughter deserved

everything she got.

That's nice.

If he said that, they make it up half the time, don't they?

But who could have done this?

There are people in here who do anything for money. You must know that better

than me.

Perhaps I'd do the same thing if I'd been here long enough.

Know anything about this?

I reckon it was that Jo woman.

What Jo woman?

Came in with Charlotte.

She did ten days for shoplifting.

She was always asking about her.

Oh, and she had a camera.

I don't know, but it makes sense.

But how'd I get a camera? How would she?

I don't know that either, but it's funny. She got out yesterday and it's in

papers today.

How's it been, you?

I can explain.

Yeah, you better.

Denny and Shell turned up, right?

Just like that?

Yeah, just like that.

I didn't know they was coming.

And you just let them in?

I couldn't stop them.

You know what Shell was like.

And you know why they came.

Because you told Denny we was living together.

So what about you doing drugs?

Give me a break, Josh. What do you think?

As soon as I knew they were doing that, I made them go, innit?

So how did the police find out?

Joe must have phoned them.

I've been dreading you coming back.

I nearly died when you saw me.

You're going to leave me now, aren't you? I know it.

Look, I didn't do anything, Josh. I swear.

Yeah, all right.

I believe you.

You may be crazy, but you were a liar.

Not happy, eh? Me and Josh have made up.

Really? You said it would be fine, miss. You were right.

What's that?

A postcard from Auntie Nellie in Spain.

Auntie Nellie?

Having a great time. Sorry you can't be here.

Love you, babe.

Tell you from no Auntie Nellie. That's from Denny.

Denny?

She made it.

She's in Spain.

Yeah, right.

From a bed -sitting King's Cross, more like.

It's a fake one.

Haven't you had enough of that?

You know, what we need is some publicity of our own.

Have you considered making a statement?

Use my celebrity stateless, you mean?

At least you get it printed.

You could clear your name.

You could even get people talking about changing the system.

Do you think it would work? It wouldn't do any harm, that's for sure.

If I did write an article, how could I get it out of here?

Josh.

So, how was your first day?

Yeah, great, yeah.

Once I got Gary.

That tells you, you were born to it.

We should go out for a drink to celebrate.

No, I'm going to take it steady my first week.

We'll get some early nights, you know.

Another time, then.

Yeah, yeah, be good.

Josh, you live round Acton Way, don't you?

Yeah, that's right.

Do you know, I go there sometimes at the weekends, line dancing.

I could stop by on the way home.

Yeah, well, next weekend, sort of.

Well, you're not working.

No, no, not working, is it?

You wouldn't be disturbing anything, would I?

No, no, don't be silly.

So?

We'll do it, then.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

This is crazy, man. You know I don't do this rubbish. Well, it wasn't me that

authorised it. Can I go now? Hang on.

Fine, then.

Now can I go? Yep.

Will you send the next girl in?

Is this really necessary?

Just do yourself a favour, yeah?

Okay. Where's the loo?

Behind you.

Quite in front of you.

You might cheat otherwise.

But this is barbaric.

Look, I may as well tell you.

I've taken coke in the last 24 hours.

Now do I have to go through with this?

Bread's out.

Didn't have any choice, did I?

I bought some.

Quatched it in this.

Abracadabra. I'm clean.

You jammy twat. It was humiliating.

I should be in the first place, let alone squatting in front of a screw.

Come on, girl. You want to shift it or you'll miss

breakfast.

I suppose you're right.

Shell will have just got one of her dodgy mates to send this card to throw

police off the scent.

Trust me.

Right now, them two will both be getting smacked up in some squat.

Yeah.

I guess they will.

Discovery. Discovery.

Big porno star.

Very wonderful.

Can't beat you anyway, can I, Jen?

No, lesbian.

So, what's next then, Joe?

Don't know.

Between the sheets?

Yeah. Like all prison piss -stained sheets.

Or what about a slow, comfortable screw against the wall?

What's in that then?

Orange juice, vodka, fennel, spunk and a cherry.

Oh, man.

Do you know how gross that is?

You dirty cat.

You'll be pleased to know we are petty, authoritarian and ineffectual.

Bullying is rife among officers and inmates alike, and the average PO is

intellectually and emotionally inadequate.

That's rich.

Coming from a junkie.

Yeah. Well, that's the irony.

Her test results are clean.

The big surprise is, Crystal Gordon has tested positive.

Here comes one of our inadequate... Feeling pleased?

If I have to be in the papers, it may as well be the truth.

Well, here's a bit more truth for you.

Your father resigned this morning because of you. Just heard it on the

So I'm going to have a nice chin wag about next time your mum comes in, eh?

I was hoping you'd come by to have breakfast.

What is it? What's wrong?

You don't do drugs, no?

You know I don't.

Why, what's happened?

Test you done.

You come back positive.

What?

Just... You can't be.

After all you told me. It was the truth.

They don't get these things wrong.

What do you mean?

Did you, Crystal?

Josh!

Disappointed in you, is he?

We all are.

I've never done drugs in my life.

Well, Charlotte here.

Your MDT was negative, you'll be pleased to know.

What? Bookies as well.

It's Shaz and Crystal that have let the side down.

I never!

It's been a mistake!

You'd better clean up your act.

Otherwise you're going to be in here for a long time.