Original subtitles

Josh, what are you doing here? I thought it was just us girls that kept dragging

back to this place.

You're all so gorgeous, I couldn't keep awake, could I?

Man, you know what you are?

You're, what do you call it, institutionalised.

That's me, that's me.

So you've caught up with Crystal, yeah?

Nah, nah.

I got you her address.

Yeah, the hospital said she moved on, they didn't know where to.

Bummer, you two are great together.

Yeah, then I really got to move on, yeah? Well, maybe she'll turn up

you never know.

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, sorry.

Oh, don't apologise.

Best thing that's happened to me since I got here.

Yeah, well, like I said, I've got to get on out.

Hello, me.

Oh, hello, me.

Hello, Julie.

I've got some news for you.

Come on in.

Let's have it.

The good news is it looks like you'll be able to see your Sunday school face.

Yes!

Your application for an electronic tag's been successful.

Hang on, Julie.

Listen to me, please.

Sorry, Mish.

I'm afraid your application failed.

Sorry, Julie.

What?

We can't have.

We got the same sentence.

The same prison sentence, but not the same prison record, I'm afraid.

That little incident, giving the handjob under the table in the visitor's room,

didn't help you much.

They can't be serious.

There's nothing.

It's out of my hands.

No pun intended.

Let's bang out of Aldermy.

It's up to you, Julie.

No -one's forcing you to get tagged.

You can finish your sentence here, if that's what you really want.

I'm not sure about this, Sylvia.

We won't be suspicious if we all report in sick on the same day.

Right, Job's a comforter you're turning out to be.

I'm just saying, that's all.

Well, of course they'll be suspicious.

They'll know it's a protest, but they can't do anything about it.

We're entitled to seven days after sick before anyone asks for a sick note.

And then?

Well, I know I won't have any difficulty getting the necessary from my GP.

He's too misstated now.

Oh, um, have you heard anything from Dominic yet?

Yes. So when's he back?

He isn't.

What?

I got hold of his parents.

Apparently he met someone in Greece and he's decided to stay there with them.

What?

You mean he's resigned?

Yeah. They were going to be in Oxford over a while.

Well, that's very considerate, I must say.

We'd all like to stay on our holiday forever, wouldn't we? Get a nice tan.

Magic. He never was much of a prison officer.

Too wet.

Oh, this is...

Well, I'd have to do this to us, Jo.

Jo.

About you getting out of here.

You know you've got to go, don't you?

We said we'd walk out of this place together.

I know, but you've got to go. You've got to take your chance. For David.

I mean, a crime house.

On his 16th birthday and that.

Of course, I mean, I want to, but... What about you?

What about me?

I'll be all right.

You sure?

Yeah.

Jeez, Jo.

It won't be long till you're out and all, eh?

It's a couple of months. A couple of months, yeah.

Looking for me?

No, I don't think so.

You got a second?

Look, Helen, I know Jim's got his faults, but if I thought what happened

Shell Dockley's cell was because of any wrongdoing of his, I'd have his balls on

a skew, and I hope you know that.

I am not calling your integrity into question, Karen.

Oh, it seemed that way.

I'm looking for a motive why Shell stuck that bottle into Jim.

I think when she heard about your relationship with him, it sent her over

edge.

She's really obsessed with him, isn't she?

Or you.

She trusted you.

She told you things about her childhood, things she never told anyone else.

I think she thought you'd tell Jim and he'd make a laughing stock of her.

Oh, Christ.

I phoned Monica Lindsay earlier.

She's going to come and pick me up.

So you're going then?

Yeah.

I'm going.

Only I was thinking, do you have to?

Eh?

Please don't go, Jew.

But you told me to.

I've got to take my chance, that's what you said.

It would be a crime else.

Those were your words, Jew.

I know, but I was just saying them because I thought that's what I was

to say.

But I don't want you to go.

it in this place. Not on me. Not without you.

We've always been together.

Oh, please.

Please say you'll stay, Ju.

I can't, Ju.

You shouldn't be asking me to either.

I need you. I've always needed you.

You'll be alright.

I promise.

You promised we'd be together for good.

Oh, come on. It's only a pissing school play.

He's my son, Ju.

How do you think I feel if I miss out on the chance of seeing him on his big

day? Well, you'd understand.

I mean, it's only a few months and then we'd both be out together.

It's his 16th birthday.

No, Jo, I can't. I just can't.

You mean you won't, you selfish cow.

What?

Oh, I understand it all now.

Too bad I didn't see it before.

Just like all the rest of them, ain't you? Just out for yourself.

Jo! You heard me.

Sod off out of it.

And stop calling me Jew. My name is Sonia. I hate people calling me Jew.

have. And I hate you!

So piss off!

So, what's actually wrong with you, Sylvia?

Stress, Mum.

Stress?

We seem to have an epidemic of it on our hands today. I can't help that.

No, I'm sure you can't. I'll be reporting for duty as soon as I'm

I'll look forward to it.

Oh, shit.

How many is that?

A lot.

All materially struck down by the threat bug.

It's a nightmare.

Well, we'll have to do something.

Oi! You can't do this, you asses! I ain't a bleeding zoo!

My dog was coming to visit today!

Is this down to you, Dockley?

Why don't you piss off that dramatic wing when you belong with all the other

bloody nutters?

First we've been right for a little bit this morning. What do they do? They keep

us sitting banged up.

Well, he said it's circumstances beyond their control.

What's beyond their control in this place? They're full.

Well, maybe not, but banging on the door and shouting isn't going to get anyone

anywhere. This meeting's important.

I know.

But there'll be another meeting, don't worry.

I've got to get my cape together for the UCRP. It's the only chance we've got

getting out of here.

But...

Why don't you let them out? The other man is running things to himself.

After everything that happened?

It's been done before.

They're hardly going to escape, are they? Don't get me wrong. You'd make my

a lot easier.

I think we should try it.

On one condition.

Shell Dockley stays on cellular confinement.

Okay.

But she's been behind the door for weeks now.

You can't keep her there forever.

It's up to you, Simon.

You got everything?

Yeah, it's all here.

Getting out at the right time, if you ask me.

Come on, then.

This is it.

I'm going.

Julie. Hello, Monica.

I can't thank you enough for this.

So, did you have any luck?

Did you get to talk to him? I think it came as a bit of a bolt out of the blue.

Will he see me?

He might come round tonight.

Come on.

Got a lot to look forward to.

Yes.

Christmas did the screws out of the way. The governor must have gone frigging

stupid to let us out of that list.

Well, he thinks we're... Nicky.

Hi. Her thing.

I'm getting by.

Listen, I managed to convince number one governor and Karen to let everyone out

themselves, but I don't want it blowing up my face.

Can you keep an eye on things?

Come on, you know I don't like playing preacher.

Look, if anyone steps out of line, it's going to mean that you'll get banged up

again. Maybe for days.

None of us want that, do we?

I suppose not.

I already missed a meeting with Mr Lister this morning.

We can set up another meeting.

Things are moving, so don't worry.

How about you?

Oh, don't ask.

I've got this bloody report to do on Shell's attack on Jim Fenner.

Well, I hope you hang the bastard out to dry.

Not going to happen.

What? Look, there's nothing to back up Shell's claim that Fenner was trying to

rape her.

She smuggled a broken bottle back from Sylvia's party. I mean, Shell was out to

get Fenner.

So the lucky bastard rides again, eh?

I'm afraid I can't possibly comment.

Have you had lunch?

Come down in the world, ain't you?

We've got some problems today.

Still let everybody out, though, didn't you?

Except me.

You're back on a basic regime shell.

Who said?

I ain't had no adjudication.

We don't have the officers.

You're just pissed off. Because when Fenner was supposed to be giving you

he was shoving it on me instead.

If I'm pissed off with you, it's because you nearly killed one of my officers.

Nothing else.

So I was supposed to just lie back and thank him afterwards, was I?

I suppose that's all you think I'm worth.

After all, I let my old man pork me, didn't I?

You know that's not what I think, Cheryl.

Did you tell Fenner, did you?

He'd have loved that.

No, I didn't.

I'll never tell him or anyone else about what happened to you as a child.

I gave you my word on it.

He was your block drain, isn't he?

What, minding giving my drain a good rodding?

Yeah, if you want to get us all locked up again.

Why, who's going to catch us?

Well, suppose Josh isn't up for it.

Are you saying I can't pull?

What I'm saying is, if you're desperate for it, find someone on the same side of

the wire.

No one will bat an eyelid.

It's a lot easier and you won't end up down the block.

You're joking.

Turn Liz in?

I'd rather shag bleeding Fenner first.

Come on, Julie.

What's the use in crying? You'll be out of here and meeting up again with Juliet

in no time.

Yeah.

Yeah, you're right.

This thing's stupid.

What do you think?

They're trendy, innit? Very nice.

21st century ball and chain.

How does it work?

Well, these nibs just fit this gizmo to your phone, so it knows when I'm in

range of the hour.

And if I in here between quarter to seven at night and quarter to seven in

morning, it sends up the balloon.

And you end up back in Larkhall. Yeah, so I'd better keep my eye on the time

hope the watch don't stop.

Such a shame they wouldn't let Julie out as well.

Yeah.

Yeah. Something the matter, Julie?

The night before I come out, me and Jude, we thought we've had words.

See, she didn't want me to go.

I think she couldn't cope on her own. I think she was just scared.

But she said some rotten things.

It really hurt.

Oh, dear, I'm sorry.

Maybe I shouldn't have left her.

Nonsense. You've got nothing to feel guilty about.

Julie will be all right.

She's still got lots of friends on Yewing.

Yeah. It's only for a couple of months. Cool.

Let's face it. You've got a lot to take care of now.

I can say that again.

Do you want me to make myself scarce when he comes round?

It's no trouble, really.

No way.

Tell you the truth, mon.

Never mind the bricks.

I'm sitting free by bloody semi.

What are you doing?

Don't tell me no one's ever felt your arse before.

Nice little one like that.

Just begging for it.

Yeah, well, next time, knock or something first, yeah?

Fair enough.

Knock, knock.

That's the way, Josh.

Come on, leave it, eh?

It's all right. No one's going to catch you.

I'm not interested.

I don't want hearts and flowers, Josh.

Just a quick shag.

You can do that, can't you? Yeah, I suppose I could.

But I don't want to.

You're way too old for me.

Nothing. Just having a laugh.

She started it. Shut up, you liar.

The best way you can shut up, you can shut up and clear this mess up.

What's got into you?

Worse than a bloody screw, man.

Yeah, and you'll find out how much if you don't behave yourselves.

I told you, no stepping out of line if you want to keep this set up sweet.

Now clear this up. Come on.

How come I never see you with any of the others? Come again?

Well, it's like what you were saying earlier.

I mean, you're a good -looking woman.

Should have you picked me, couldn't you?

Could I?

Have you got someone on the outside?

No.

What, no -one in here good enough for you, is that it?

Look, who do you think you are, Jeremy bloody Paxman?

It's just I suppose I can see why some women are out for it.

It's not until you've been in a place like this that you wouldn't believe how

much you could miss having a fellow to hold you at night.

Those shitty beds can be bloody empty some nights.

No matter how narrow they are.

Now, don't go getting any ideas.

Come on, you'll never know, you might like it.

I said I was down, not bloody desperate, right?

Macbeth is one of Shakespeare's tragedies. Oh, what, you mean In Like

No, um... A tragedy in the, um... Dramatic sense.

Oh, I see.

So what's that, then?

Well, um... A tragedy's a story about a great person who's destroyed by...

Circumstances of their own creation.

See, Macbeth is a Scottish lord who encounters three witches.

Now, these three witches prophesy that he's going to become king of Scotland.

So, in order to fulfil the prophecy, Macbeth, egged on by his wife, murders

king, Duncan, but he ends up killed himself.

Eh?

You're giving away the ending now, aren't you?

I'm fine.

Oh, jeez.

Don't stand on the doorstep all night.

You'd better come in, Trevor.

Monica's my boss, actually.

We're holiday reps.

So we're out of the country most of the time. Oh.

Where?

Oh, you know, Spain, Portugal.

Except lately.

It's been places like Belgium and Norway.

Don't get so much of a tan, I'm afraid.

No.

No, you don't.

I'm a mechanic.

Up. Always thought you'd do something like that.

Always was good with a tool in his hands with Trevor.

So, where did you two meet?

We were sweethearts.

From third year at comp until, well... Our folks put a stop to things when

they found out Julie was pregnant.

Oh.

If it hadn't been for them, me and Julie might have still been together.

Well, I'll, um... I'll just go and see if I've switched off the... That

was a lovely

thing to say.

I meant it.

So, what about you?

Any... I've got two kids, Dan and Sophie.

But when me and Sue split up, she didn't want me having anything more to do with

them.

Well, I hope you didn't stand for that.

Of course not.

We all went to court and everything.

I didn't want it to.

All that sort of stuff's no good for the kids, is it?

But I wasn't going to be denied my children.

Good for you.

I used to wonder, you know, about you and our kid.

David's wonderful. He's dead bright and good -looking.

That would be his mum's looks then, not his dad's.

I never thought you looked so bad.

We don't want the screws back in!

We don't want the screws back in! Keep the shitbags off the wing!

Keep the shitbags off the wing!

I hope you and your little mate have finished cleaning up here before

Look.

Spotless. Everything in order, sir?

Where's the knife?

What knife?

The knife.

The one that ain't bleeding there.

That's me.

That little mate of yours.

The bit.

Julie, about tomorrow.

It is going to be all right with the lad, isn't it?

It was his idea.

He kept going on at me.

He's always wanted to meet you.

It's the best 16th birthday present I could get him.

If you'll come, see him in the play, it'd be such a surprise.

I'd love to.

Let's be on my way, then.

Look at you.

Signing out a big posh school.

Living in this house.

Your holiday reps must get paid by the coach, though.

You've done well for yourself, Julie.

I'm really glad.

Makes me feel like a real waster.

No, you ain't.

Well, you reckon.

Anyway, better be off then.

Yeah.

You can't do this.

You've got no right. You ain't a bloody screw.

Shut up.

She ain't had it.

I'd have seen her, man.

Beautiful, isn't it?

Lovely, yeah.

Makes you think about all the people you're missing on the outside, doesn't

Yeah.

Well, now Judy's getting on in the big wide world, eh?

Fine, I suppose.

And you're getting on all right without her, aren't you?

Me? Yeah, spectacular, I am.

You can't live in someone's shadow all your life, can you?

And just wither up like an old pot plant.

Based up my own life, you know.

Just realising now I'm getting it back, aren't I?

Nicky, listen, I've got a problem.

A big one.

What have you done with it?

A fair cop.

I was only going to chop up a couple of screws with it. No big deal.

You stupid bitch.

Catch that brain cell of yours and see if it still works.

If that knife isn't back in the cabinet by tonight, when the governor checks the

kitchen, we're all in deep shit and banged up till God knows when.

I'm joking. I haven't got the bloody knife.

There's only one thing we can do, and that's search all the cells.

What?

We'll just have to keep the party going as long as we can.

Have you got everything?

Yeah.

It's all lovely.

Except... Yes?

Except what?

I wish Stu was here.

I could do without to talk to you right now.

No offence, Mon. I mean, you've been great.

It's just... We're like sisters, me and her.

It don't seem real with her not here.

Won't I do, as a temporary measure?

Did Trevor live up to expectations?

He was nice.

Really nice.

So are you.

I'm a bleeding tart, is what I am, and a con.

You were?

Yeah. Well, what's this, then?

Well, if he holds that against you, he's not worth it. Well, that's just it,

isn't it? He don't know about it. He don't know nothing.

Oh, Julie.

I didn't want him doing a run -on after just meeting him again.

You must be honest with him.

I want him to meet David.

And will you ask David to lie too?

It's just what you would have said.

How many screws does it take to change a light bulb?

Six.

One to take it out, a five to beat the shit out of it because it went on the

blink.

walks into a bar. He says to the barmaid, excuse me, love, can I have a

lager? She said, sorry, sir, we only do bottles.

Maybe we should call it a nightmare.

I think we're just getting warmed up.

That's what I'm afraid of, is that we're building up to a riot.

God make her go away.

Die!

Die!

Die!

You

wanted me?

You've got me!

Spool span handle and a cutlery knife covered in silver foil.

Take them together.

And there you have it.

What do you think this is, Bleeding Blue Peter?

You got any better ideas?

Julie?

Hiya.

Thanks for coming.

What's up?

I was surprised to get your phone call.

Is it?

Is it David?

Look, Trev, I ain't exactly been straight with you.

All that ology rep stuff, it's a bollock.

I don't have no fancy job.

Well, so what?

I'm a flaming car mechanic.

Truth is, me and Monica, we met inside.

In prison.

I'm out in a taxi.

Shocked you, didn't I?

Oh, yeah.

I suppose you have.

So what did you do?

Rob a bank?

No.

I'm a prostitute.

What? A tart.

I work with my mates, we screw the clients and we nick their wallets.

I don't believe it. Well, you better have, because it's the truth.

That's how you feel, I understand.

But David, he'd love to meet his dad.

Morning. Morning.

Morning. How have they been?

So far, so good.

See, if you trust them, they can take care of themselves pretty well.

I have to admit, things have been running pretty smoothly.

Well, let's not start talking ourselves out of our jobs.

We'd better be careful. Imagine what the press would say if they heard Larkhall

was run better by the inmates than its officers.

Don't worry, Simon, your secret's safe.

And on the subject of secrets, just so there aren't any between us... What is?

It's my report to alien management.

It's your copy, in case there's anything you'd like to add.

Thank you.

Nothing too shocking, I hope.

Well, I certainly think there'll be a few raised eyebrows on the outside over

lifers waiting on Sylvia's party.

And the discipline of officers that night, not brilliant.

You have a point, of course.

What about Jim?

Well, the attack on Jim was obviously premeditated.

I can't find any evidence against him.

Excellent. I knew this investigation was in good hands.

Now all we have to do is get this place back to normal.

Well, I've got things to get on with.

Me too.

Hello?

Well? Still gone.

At least no one's left the saucepan handle. They must be bloody blind or

So what do we do now?

We've already searched the cells. We're not the bloody DST and I don't want to

be. Well, all we can do is hope that someone took it for a spot of whittling

they'll put it back before things get back to normal.

Mrs Saunders? Who wants to know?

My name's Meadows, David's English teacher.

Oh, lovely to meet you. I didn't think I'd recognise you.

We see most of the other parents on a more regular basis.

Mum.

David. Oh, hello, my darling.

Hey, happy birthday.

I've only got a second or two. I've got to get backstage before curtain up. I

just couldn't wait to see you. Me neither.

You look grown up.

Even with all your make -up on.

I'll see you later, yeah.

Yeah, you count on it. I've got your paper for you as well.

He's a good lad.

I know.

You must see a lot of the world.

Eh? In your business.

Well, David tells me you're really in the UK.

Well, that's right.

In fact, we've just flown in from New York.

A bit jet -lagged.

I'm Mrs. Saunders, P .A., by the way. How do you do?

Well, if you'll excuse us, I think we'd better find our seats.

Yes, of course.

Is that a bad being honest?

There are lies, and there are white lies.

No treasure, then?

I'm sorry, that seat's taken.

Sorry.

I really think we should tell Miss Betts about this knife.

No -one's going to come after you with it.

I mean, someone might do themselves harm.

I've never forgiven myself.

If they were going to, they'd have done it by now.

Not necessarily.

I won't beat about the bush, Sylvia.

And I'd be grateful if you'd be equally straightforward with me.

The fact of the matter is that your protest on the wing has patently failed.

That might be your impression.

From what I've heard, the women are running the place.

It's a recipe for disaster.

Well, I have to admit that the longer this situation persists, the more likely

disaster becomes.

Which is why I was wondering if you and I might manage to negotiate some way

forward.

Such as?

You lost your pips recently.

So it was quite unfortunate, an experienced officer such as yourself.

I felt I was a scapegoat, sir.

Quite so.

All right?

Yeah.

How long do you reckon this is going to go on with the screws off thick?

Not long enough?

It's all a load of bollock, mind.

I mean, kicking up all the fuss because Cheryl's been put back on the wing.

Can't say I blame them.

I mean, which one of them wouldn't be left with her on their own again?

Well, I've got nothing against Cheryl for opening Fenner up like a handbag.

It was long overdue, if you ask me.

Yeah, I'm no fan.

Good.

It was expected, really.

I mean, he's just another paid -up member of the all -men -are -bastards

That's funny.

Now I come to think of it, I've never been with a bloke who was straight down

the middle decent.

All of them were bastards.

Doesn't stop me wanting one, though.

Yvonne, just give me the knife.

You what?

You're going soft in the head.

I know you're going through a difficult time right now, but let me have the

knife and I can help you.

I'm not suicidal, you stupid car. I just want to shag.

And as far as helping me goes, darling, you just haven't got the tackle.

You want a bit?

Stay you imperfect speakers.

Tell me more.

By Finnell's death, I know I am famous glance.

But how of Cawdor?

The Thane of Cawdor will.

A prosperous gentleman.

Sorry, I'm late. To be king stands not within a prospect of belief, no more

to be Cawdor.

Say from whence you owe this strange intelligence, or why.

The end. Upon this blasted heath you stop our way with such prophetic

Speak, I charge you.

He's an old mate of mine. Can I help you?

What's he going to do?

Whisper sweet nothings down the phone?

I was after something a little bit more hands -on.

He runs a male escort agency.

Very discreet.

He's very sexy.

Very good, so I'm told.

Great.

I look him up in three years' time.

After he got the urge.

When was the last time you saw your solicitor?

Months ago.

Well, maybe it's time you got yourself a new one.

Maybe you could find yourself someone fairly young.

Somebody up and coming.

You catch my drift?

Of course.

You get a private room when you see a brief.

Exactly.

And this guy's briefs will be packing more than just his paperwork.

Is this the dagger which I see before me, the handle toward my hand?

Come, let me clutch thee.

I have thee not, yet I see thee still.

Art thou not fatal vision sensible?

To feeling us to sight?

Art thou but a dagger of the mind, a false creation, preceded by the heat

-oppressed brain?

Blood hath been shed here now.

In the olden time, ear humane statute purged the gentle wheel.

And since, too, murders have been performed too terrible for the ear.

The time hath been that when the brains were out, the man would die, and there

an end.

It will have blood, they say.

Blood will have blood.

Stones have been known to move, and priests speak.

Ogre is an understood relationship.

By maggot pies and chuffs.

And looks brought forth the secretive man's blood.

Julie, wait a second.

What's the matter?

I've got to get back to Larkle. What? I've got to get back to Julie.

She's in trouble, Mum. Who's Julie?

I can't explain it. I don't know. I've got to get back to the prison.

Well, give me a lift, please, Julie. The prison's behind you now, Julie.

You've got to let it go.

Well, you could.

Look, maybe there's something for us to... I ain't got time, Triv.

I'm sorry.

Julie!

That must be a daft of you.

Come on.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Don't, love. You've got it the wrong way round. Everyone's trying to get out of

here. Look, me name is Julie Saunders. I'm a prisoner here.

Look, I'm out on a tag.

I'm breaking my curfew. Please, you've got to let me in.

If you want to give yourself up, use the cop shop or go back home with your

friends. Now, if you don't mind, love, my tea's getting cold.

Julie? What are you doing here?

Oh, sorry, miss.

I was a bit peckish.

Peckish?

Well, if pinching from the biscuit tin's all you can come up with over the past

couple of days, I'll let it go.

This once.

Thank you, miss.

I suppose you heard the commotion?

Yes, miss.

It seems Julie wasn't keen on life on the outside after all.

First time anyone's ever tried to break into prison.

Let's miss.

Night.

Night, Julie.