Original subtitles

How many more are you going to take?

I'm freezing my backside off here.

I could warm it up for you, Ewan.

Sounds promising.

Ah!

That wasn't quite what I had in mind.

Just one more roll of film, right?

Oh, I get it. You've suffered for Europe, now it's my turn.

I mean, you've seen one shot at the locket sunset. You've seen them all,

You should put some lotion on. You really caught the sun. Mm -hmm.

Funky kind of light, though.

You know, I kind of like it being locked in a dark room with you. Ewan, stop it.

This is important for my school project.

What?

There's a splodge.

Best one to.

You could have ruined my film.

Amy, we're going to be rich.

What are you talking about? Look at that.

Why? It's just a flodge.

Who's wondering if a flodge have a long, sneaky neck?

I'm not interested in you.

What's that? You're not me.

Monsters are in books, not Scottish locks.

But you saw the fool.

A trick of the line. A log in the water, a monster -shaped swarm of edges.

Oh, there's a card from Donald.

A good fella. Who?

He says his pal, the luxury hotel owner, turns out to be running a naturist

centre in the French Alps. La la!

I beg you to remind me of the possibility, Paul. Well, don't bother.

only open for business.

He says everything is going swimmingly, even in the pool, until there was a

sudden cold snap.

Sounds painful. But that's what I'm trying to say.

Then someone got frostbite.

Done. Lovely scrambled eggs, Ewan. Thanks, Molly.

I've made that recipe with pecorino cheese and double cream.

Look at this lot.

Anyone would think we're living at the Savoy.

Poor trait of angry man.

And as for you, young lady, right, I've just had the bill for the chemicals for

your darkroom. My initials aren't ICI, you know. Paul, can I just say... No,

no more, right? The only monster I'm interested in is the beast that is on my

back 24 -7. This is States Finances.

You can help me by servicing the fishing parties and the household without

recourse to pecorino cheese and double cream. In other words, do your job.

Paul, can I just say... And you can help me by taking fewer snacks. It was you,

Godfather, who said I had to go back to school.

I wish I could do more to help.

What am I doing here? I'm not even hungry.

Hamish is coming, you see.

Paul, I have to tell you something. No, enough is enough.

OK, I'll move out tomorrow.

What?

No, no, no, I'm sorry. I was just... Never mind.

Did you sleep well? Yeah, great, thanks.

Yeah, you look like you slept well.

I mean...

Why, do I normally look sleepy?

No. No, no, no. Not at all.

I'll catch you later.

Hamish is coming.

Oh! What?

I think you ought to know.

There's a boat coming up the drive.

A boat?

Oh, that's very clever. They usually arrive on water.

What in heaven's name is going on now?

Amish is coming.

I know that.

Hi. Will you come in peace?

Sorry, sorry. How can I help you?

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

This is what I've been trying to tell you.

You see the lozenge -shaped head, the elongated neck, typical of cryptoclidids

and elasmosaurs.

Plesiosaurids, too, obviously, but my gut feeling is veering away from the

upper... Simon.

Why, I'm sorry.

Um, what I'm saying is that this sighting is entirely consistent with the

plesiosaur hypothesis.

What's that? Some sort of dinosaur?

No, no, absolutely not. No, no, no. Marine uriapsids may be mesozoic, but

anyone... Sorry.

Yes, more or less.

But this is what I really wanted to show you.

Thank you, Bill.

This is what brought it here in such hope and excitement.

Amy's photograph.

This could be the most famous photograph in the world.

Here's why.

You could have got it in focus, Amy.

Watch.

There.

Isn't that something?

Goodness me.

Ladies and gentlemen, you could be sitting on the most important discovery

the natural history of this island.

Sorry, hold on a minute.

How is it possible?

How could it have survived for all these millions of years?

Species long thought extinct turn up from time to time. The filacanth, for

example. A fish in the Indian Ocean.

Strange -looking kind of thing.

The Loch is big and deep enough to support a viable population.

So how come no one's seen any of them, then? They have.

Your father's father were there.

Echushka, he called them. The water horse.

There's pictures of them in the old history book. How fascinating.

So, Dr. Cutter, you and, um... Bill.

Short for William.

You want to spend a few days surveying the Loch? With your permission.

Jeff?

My motorboat in the Loch?

No, no.

That disturbed the wildlife.

And I'm not talking about the monster.

Golly. It's a fairy tale.

There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamed of in

philosophy.

Who said he's your molly? Is there any relation to Hamish?

I'm sorry, Dr. Cotter. You've heard what my gillies have said. This is a

distraction from the real business of running Glenboggle. But please go and

some lunch. Amy, you're late for school.

Excuse me. I have another appointment.

Hamish.

Mr. MacDonald.

Hamish. Congratulations.

Yeah? These are, without doubt, the most catastrophic set of accounts I've seen

in 50 years.

Enjoy.

Oh, the page for Thicko's, otherwise known as the Executive Summary, is on

five.

I'm afraid he's the only one who might be able to help you.

Turning your bank manager into a pillar of salt might be a useful diversion.

I thought you were supposed to be on my side.

Accountants are never on any side but their own, Mr MacDonald.

But if the bank sees these figures, they'll never extend the loan.

I mean, you made it look as if we're going bankrupt.

We just need a little time. Things are bound to improve.

Oh, I cannot falsify the account.

I'm not asking you to.

But couldn't you be a little more creative?

Creative?

Oh, I'm a number cruncher, not a writer of fiction.

Or maybe I'm just a little old -fashioned.

Maybe you'd be better off with one of the new breed.

They don't worry too much about irritating details, like facts.

And figures.

Maybe you're right.

Good day, Mr. MacDonald.

I'd present you with my bill if I had any confidence you'd be able to pay it.

I'll make him a proper lunch then, Ewan.

I want to spend what little time they have here by the lock.

Look, I'm sorry if you're disappointed.

You're the one always going on about the estate and pulling our weight.

But when someone comes up with a good idea, you just squash it flat.

I don't believe it. Think of the tourists.

Lord gets out there's a monster in the loft, we'll be busting them in. But

isn't a monster in the loft.

You still get it, do you?

That doesn't matter. I'm talking business here, Paul.

You talk to my owner.

He's got something to offer.

I can do anything.

Golly, I got a bit.

I'll take these out.

No, no.

I'll do it.

Have you ever had an obsession, Mr. MacDonald?

It's all around you. I mean, gripped by it so that it consumes your every living

moment.

It means that much to you?

I think I must be getting worse.

Yeah.

Oh, sandwiches. Thank you very much.

It's with every setback, every derisive comment to my scientific colleagues, I

just get more determined.

Delicious.

It must be hard to understand.

No.

No, not at all.

I know people think I'm toothy, she's sort of a doctor, but... I know they're

out there.

I just have to find them.

What exactly do you need?

To do your work here.

Well, you got your way.

It's my job to make sure that the wildlife isn't disturbed. I think I

guaranteed a stress -free experience for all.

Maybe even pleasurable for some.

I doubt that very much.

For the salmon, anyway.

They're even more sensitive than Scots girls, and that's really saying

something. Well, you're an expert, are you?

Well, my doctorate was on the breeding cycle of Oncorhynchus nurca.

I've had a number of papers published on Platycephalus and the Salmoneidae in

general, so...

I suppose.

To that extent, I guess I sort of am.

An expert, that is.

Sorry. I didn't catch your name.

Mackenzie.

Jess.

Mackenzie.

Problem?

I'm all fingers and thumbs.

Yeah?

That seems to have fixed it.

Some knots you can't untie.

Pleased with himself, isn't he?

The bullfellow.

In my opinion, needs cutting down to size.

And what exactly are you up to, as if I didn't know?

Giving a natural process a little nudge.

It'll be good for Jess.

Why, Jess lived well alone.

Too late, I've lit the touch paper.

All we need to do now is retire to a safe distance and watch.

I own us a home, buddy, all right.

I'll be right glad to get back.

Even though I say it myself, the boys have done a good job.

I'm sure she'll be pleased.

Give it a thorough clean with my finny.

Folk appreciate that.

Is there a problem?

Yeah, a number.

Like what? The floor needs another layer of varnish, the skirting board needs

beading, that light switch is on the wrong side and the door handle is shaky.

It's never shaky.

Shaky.

Have you moved the window?

Yeah, it used to be there.

Well, why did you do that?

Well, where it was, it lit in very little light. Here it opens onto a nice

so... Move it back.

You're clever.

No, I'm not. And I don't want to be billed for it either. I've given you

than enough work recently to justify a little goodwill.

So I told him, no tenant of mine is getting a second -rate job.

I want it done again, and I want it done properly.

That was kind of you.

Yeah, well... So, um, so where are you off to today?

Oh, Amy left her bag, so I was just going to drop it in.

Well, you don't have to do that.

I know, but...

Well, I've got errands to run anyway.

I want to get some groceries and I don't want to be a complete stranger.

You don't mind, do you?

You know, I'm staying here a bit longer.

Oh, no, I don't mind at all.

If you don't mind.

Me?

No, not at all.

You're about the only one that keeps me sane around here.

Oh.

Well, I'm glad I'm earning my keep.

Right. Right.

Yeah.

Could you put me through to the news desk, please?

Hi, um, I thought you might be interested in a monster of a story.

Okay, that's finished with sector H.

We go on to the next one on the grid.

Iona McLean. And what did I say about wearing jeans in school?

Oh.

Good one.

Dear me, was I really that scary?

Well, you had your moment.

It's lovely to see you. You'll be here about Amy.

Yeah. How's the wee soul feeling?

Sorry? My sister's girl had ME.

Awful illness.

How long do you think she'll be off?

The old lords of Glen Bogle was a true believer in the existence of the other

ancient resident of the Glen. And he liked nothing better than to wander

the gardens after a good dinner and look out for these old friends.

This is the perfect spot for a monster viewing zone, as you'll see.

You aren't.

Oh, excuse me.

Who are those people?

Chief reporter from the Glenbogle Bugle, bloke from the tourist board, coach

tour operator, the manager of the Inverness Hilton and a novelty goods

manufacturer from Germany. What are they doing here?

I'm giving them the tour. They'll love it. I'm telling you, Paul, by Friday

place will be thronged with people with their wallets hanging open.

I never agreed to this.

I thought it was what you wanted.

Enterprise, initiative, cash.

Excuse me, if you'll follow me into the family dining room, I'll serve you the

Glenbogle water high tea.

Hi.

Hello there.

Andy, where I might be able to grab some milk?

Yeah, if you turn right round here, up the hill, you'll come to a cottage.

Golly and Jeff live there.

All right.

Leave it.

Oh.

Sausage and beans?

Chili and solvino.

Better not let Ewan see you.

He'll charge you a tenner for that.

You home late?

Yeah, I had a session at school with my art teacher.

I showed him my photos.

Obviously not the one of the monster.

She liked them.

Said I had a real flair for composition and... Helen Porky's?

What do you mean?

Well, how could you show her your photos if they were in your bag and you left

your bag here, Amy?

Erm... I had copies.

Amy, don't. Look, you never went to school.

I know.

So, are you in some kind of trouble, or is somebody bullying you?

Don't want to talk about it.

Amy, maybe I could help you.

I don't want to talk about it.

Hi.

I was wondering if you had a spare pint of milk for the lonesome traveler.

Gee, you don't need a cup of sugar with it.

Sweet enough as it is.

Please. Just wait there.

You could have invited him in last.

Keep him where he belongs, on the outside.

I don't understand.

If you want them to get together, why do you keep running them down?

Golly, you really ought to get out more.

Thank you.

Fair maiden of the mill. Look, just cut it out, will you?

I'm sorry?

I can read to you like a book. A cheap paperback.

I don't understand.

I know exactly how you operate.

Another loch, another monster, another gal.

That's not how I... Well, I don't want to be another notch on your echo

You may have.

Good muscle definition.

But you do nothing for me. Nothing.

Zero. Zilch. You don't even register on my radar.

Okay? I was going to ask you out on a date.

I'd rather have a pen stuck in my eye.

One.

This baby is the limit, that one.

Devastatingly attractive, but utterly insufferable.

You obviously get funding for your work.

Yes.

I'd be quite happy to pay a facility fee, if that's what you're thinking.

No, I'm not.

Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean... No, I know, but... Simon, please.

If there is something significant out there, then we'll be able to tap into

manner of new sources. Then we're talking real money.

I'm sorry if I was a bit rude earlier on.

Oh. I quite understand.

No, you don't.

No one does.

Explain.

It's just... When you're trying to say...

Paradise.

Preserve and protect it for the people you love.

Everything goes wrong.

You're carrying such a responsibility under so much pressure.

It gradually ceases to be a paradise.

You fall out of step with those people and the place itself.

Gosh. Please, don't mention this to anyone.

Oh, good heavens, no, not a word, no.

It's sometimes easier to talk to complete strangers about important

isn't it?

I'd better go.

Yes, and I'd better find that plethysaur.

I won't hold my breath.

Paul.

We know more about the moon than we know about this Loch.

It's almost a thousand feet deep in places, and no one has ever been down

ever.

I would be more surprised if it didn't hold some extraordinary secret.

Have you ever seen anything yourself?

Thank you.

I think I'm going mad.

I saw the wars of us last night.

Ah.

Right.

I'll get my jacket.

Where are we going?

Are you ready?

For what?

A water horse?

What's it doing here?

They've been in that loft a long, long time, son.

You're not the first person to have seen it.

Have you?

No. But you still believe in it? I've never seen the queen either, but I

in her.

You never said anything, even yesterday?

I don't talk about it.

Never have.

The best folk think I'm mad.

At worst, they believe you.

The place gets overrun.

I've never seen it.

But you hear it from time to time.

A weird sound.

Nothing you've ever heard before.

You're a very lucky man.

Blessed, you may say.

But you really don't understand what it means, do you?

I don't understand.

What do you want from the Waterhouse, Paul?

Want? Hmm.

I don't know what you mean, Golly.

I've got work to do.

Right, well, best get going then.

Iona, I'm not going to school today.

Amy... Why?

I'm not telling you.

They're letting Paul down, you know that.

I am not.

Yeah, that sounds great.

Actually, can you hold on a sec? I'd better check.

Could you make it a wee bit later? It's just I've got the BBC coming at 11.

That's great.

Cheers.

Cheers.

You wouldn't believe it.

We've always been nuts.

Where'd it go out then?

In the paper.

They're not going to like it.

Very good.

You don't mind?

No, this could be good for us.

Could change everything.

That's exactly what I've been saying.

You've sure changed your tune. He's had the round of those cash registers,

haven't he?

I'm bored almost, I refuse.

OK.

Yeah.

I'm fine.

How was Amy this morning?

Yeah, fine.

Did you get to school all right?

I dropped her in the village.

Great, thanks.

Right, I will, um... Yeah, I'll see you later.

Well, they tell her people are coming later this morning. They want to

you. You do it.

You're sure.

Where are you going?

Uh, you're assuming she likes sunshine. I reckon she prefers rain. She?

Hmm.

You think it's female, do you? An elusive creature pursued by men at great

for little reward? No, no, no, she's a female, all right.

Redhead, probably.

You got room for a little one?

You want a cud?

Yeah, why not?

Don't tell me you've been bitten by the bug in the night. Well, let's just say

I, um, walk up with an open mind.

Might be a bit cramped.

No, you wanted to be back by midday anyway.

So, um, why not let Paul on? Yeah, right.

Yeah, are you sure that's okay?

Are you kidding?

I haven't had a day off in months.

Happy hunting.

Oh, hi.

Hi.

You're Bill, aren't you?

Yeah. I'm Iona. I live right here.

Lucky you.

You haven't seen Paul, have you?

I sat with Simon on the boat.

Oh.

Interesting work that you do.

Sure is.

Listen, I'm sorry. I've got to be somewhere.

Yeah, it's pretty standard sonar gear, but Bill's fine -tuned the software to

fit the profile properties of the plastic sword.

So what does the sonar do exactly?

Oh, see, it picks up different densities, like water and air. So it's

really the creature we're looking for. We're looking for its lungs.

Amazing.

Yes, well, I wish the founding councils agreed with you.

Ah! No, the trouble is we're not fashionable anymore. They don't believe

work has business impact, economic impact.

They must be crazy.

They don't want to know.

But we struggle on.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Oh, no, no, no, don't be. No, no, no. Every morning I wake up tingling with

possibilities. Will it be today?

Oh, what's that?

A rocky ridge of some kind, I should think. Too dense.

No oxygen, you see.

Shall we, uh...

Should we try that inlet over there?

Well, um, we'd better stick to the grid pattern first. We can head over there

later.

Hello, folks, and welcome to Glenbowl, the ancient home to the lads of the Glen

and an even older resident.

A place here, sir, we call Old Borg Lake.

Oh, no, no.

Well, that's done that good and proper, hasn't it?

I'll get it, sir.

I've got a feeling we're going to find something, you know.

Yes, Paul, there's something you ought to know. I've spent ten years searching

for the smoking gun. I don't think we're going to find it on the first morning.

I saw a sun.

Last night.

Really? Just as the sun was setting.

Not far from here.

You saw a plesios? I can't tell you what it was like.

Why, it made me feel.

Hold on, Paul.

There's something I have to tell you.

What you saw... No, you were in a highly suggestible state.

You'd had half a bottle of wine. I know what I saw.

You saw what you wanted to see, with all respect.

Excuse me, I'd rather trust my instrument.

Golly, what are you doing?

Golly, you're spying on Bill. That's awful.

What's he doing?

I'm going to find out.

Wait.

I wonder what the smoke was.

You know where I come from. Kind of a signal.

Thanks for the milk.

I thought, uh... Yes?

One good turn deserves another.

Looks nice. Where'd you get the trout?

Your river.

You want to watch out? I hear the ghillie's pretty tough on poachers.

And visiting scientists.

I won't detain you.

Oh, please do.

I'll come quietly.

You're pretty... You're a damn cheater of yourself, aren't you?

Not as much as you think.

I know you think this job is a blessing for the kind of guy you think I am.

It isn't.

Don't get me wrong, the work fascinates me, but it pays lousy.

I live in a tent.

And as strange as it sounds, I don't really fancy Simon.

Jess, you're wonderful.

And beautiful.

And in that order.

So why don't... Oh, for goodness sake, Melville, will you just shut up?

What about lunch?

I'll leave it to the doctor.

Let's see me go for a little stroll over there.

You look worried.

I don't like this.

I can't keep it going tomorrow or the day after.

Do you think she doesn't know that?

I'm not sure that I do, Molly.

Listen, Jess is getting over a very long and close relationship.

So? So eventually she's got to start living again, loving again, or else it's

nunnery. That's what this is, a little harmless fun.

Harmless? Do you think so?

Well, let her find out for herself.

Life goes on, Golly, and we must go with it.

Carpe diem, Golly.

Carpe diem.

What's an ornamental fish got to do with anything?

What is it?

Pass me the computer, will you?

See, this is a serious scientific investigation being carried out by two

-famous experts.

The difference is, here at Glenbogle House, we believe the public should be

to come and watch them at work.

You know, breathe in the unique atmosphere of this ancient lock.

And maybe even catch a glimpse of old Bogley himself.

Yeah? I'm bogglehead Am I dreaming

or are there fireworks going on somewhere?

Simon, we found something.

Come on!

We found her!

We found her!

There the lungs of a massive air -breathing creature I've never seen

like it so clear sharply defined this is only the beginning of course I mean we

need an intensive program of testing and research which could take week maybe

even months if That's OK with you, Paul?

Yeah, yeah, of course. I mean, you'd obviously get funding for it, right?

this and Amy's photograph, I'm certain of it.

Fantastic.

Couldn't it be an old wreck or something?

Something with air pockets?

No way.

Well, what about weeds, then?

Rotten vegetation?

Anything is possible, Iona, but some things are more possible than others.

Oh, right, like a survivor from prehistory, you mean.

Iona? No, no, that's all right, Paul. I'm used to scepticism. In fact, I

haven't... No, I hope that one day I will be able to prove my hypothesis to

beyond all doubt.

Well, where did you find it, then?

What I want is a science centre. You know, research, education.

We'll get the kids in. Yeah, yeah, and I'll get on to the news. They'll want an

interview. Good idea.

Uh, Marcy?

Look, marking's important, Simon. For you as well as us. I mean, if we handle

this right, we'll be world famous.

As big as Disneyland.

Paul? Phone.

Come for dinner.

I'll keep you for time.

Garving already?

Hello?

Oh, hello, Mrs O 'Brie. What can I do for you?

What?

Sam, can you bring out some household clean -ups?

Yeah, sure.

Thank you.

I just don't understand.

After everything we've been through, how could you do this?

So these are the monsters locked in, are they?

It's not as simple as you think.

How trusted you.

He believed in you.

So are you going to tell him or shall I?

I don't believe it.

You lied to me.

I welcomed you here as a friend.

Sorry. And you treated me like a fool.

Do you think I enjoyed it?

It's the worst thing I've ever done.

Then why?

I had to.

The money's run out, Paul.

Bill and I have reached the end of the road. The oil drums just bought us a

little bit more time.

It's called fraud, Simon.

So I bent some of the rules.

I did it not just for my benefit, but for Bill and the rest of the research

team.

Have you never felt tempted to do the same when you were in trouble, Paul?

I am sorry.

But I did it because I believe passionately in what we're doing here.

Please let us finish it.

or the water hose.

Yes.

OK, I'll think about it.

Well, I'd better go and get changed.

Thanks.

Nothing's changed, Paul.

We still have Amy's photo.

It's just as it was this morning.

OK, Ewan.

This could be the best thing to ever happen to the estate.

Don't blow away, boss.

What's that?

I'll take this for the day.

OK, this morning, when you asked me what I wanted from the water horse, what did

you mean?

It's always been said that it appears to people who are in some kind of trouble.

What do you want, Paul?

Comfort. Soccer.

Or a steady income stream.

You look like a man who's made a decision.

I respect you, Simon, despite what you did.

I like you, too.

What?

I won't say anything about what happened yesterday, but I think it's better if

you and Bill just leave quietly.

I see.

I've really messed things up, haven't I?

I wish you luck.

I hope you find what you're looking for.

Yes, one day.

I'll say goodbye, then.

Thank you, and good luck to you, too.

Paul, what was it like to be her?

Why don't you wait and see for yourself?

Another pint of milk?

Or do you want the gorgeous meal you didn't show up for last night? Only if

dessert is humble pie.

You heard.

I'm sorry, Jess.

Not just about the date.

Like I said, Bill, if I'm not, he can't untie.

I'm going already.

Another Loch, another Munster.

Another girl.

No.

I don't think so.

I meant what I said.

You're wonderful.

Let's hope I meet someone who agrees with you.

My chest.

Hi.

We like to say a proper goodbye around here.

Now are we with it?

Turn left at the end of the drive and Loch Ness is about an hour away.

Have a nice day.

I was making it work.

I was doing something.

I know you were.

And I've learned more about you in the last few days. Then why?

Because you have to listen to your constituents.

You have to do what you think is right.

I couldn't live with myself if I didn't.

All right?

As a matter of fact... Yeah?

I've had a bit of silver lining.

I agree.

Can't go and pound it for Duncan forever, can I? That is just what I was

to your father.

And there is something I will never forget.

Oh, what's that?

He was a lovely kisser.

I'm not sure I wanted to know that.

Mr. MacDonald, the curse of modern life is that we complicate things that are

actually very simple.

You mean I can exist without an accountant?

Of course not. Don't be absurd.

But if Mr.

MacGobber can grasp the point, I'm sure you can. To wit, if you cannot earn

more, you must spend less.

Spend less?

If we pull our belts any tighter, our legs will fall off.

You have bad eyesight.

No. Yet you have two lamps on.

Do you own a thick woolen sweater?

Yes. Then I suggest you wear it.

Anything else? You always pay your bills promptly.

Garage, insurance, household maintenance. Did it never occur to you

negotiate?

Negotiate? Haggle.

You'd be surprised how accommodating people can be.

Oh.

Oh, I see.

Perhaps we can start with your fee, then.

Shall we say 75 % of what you asked for?

I have a painful sensation of having just been hoist by my own petard.

Perhaps we'd better look at the income again.

£110.

Amy.

Amy, what was that about?

I didn't do it for me, I did it for you.

I know it's not much, but every little helps, doesn't it?

Amy. Amy, come here.

You shouldn't have done that, but I'm grateful that you did. I just wanted to

help. I know, and you have.

And I'm not just talking about the money.

Well, it's back to school tomorrow, and from now on, complete honesty between

us, OK?

You sure about that?

Yeah, of course I'm sure.

That's not shocking.

I'm going to help you with something. You coming?

Er... Yeah, yeah, in a minute.

What are you doing?

Well, the work's all done now, so I'm moving back home.

Well, what about the window? I think the window's probably fine where it is, but

I think they're helpful for Jeff, Jim.

I'll be sad to see you go.

I'm... I'm going to miss you.

I thought that you might be sick of sight of me by now.

Anyway, it's not far away and... You're welcome.

Anytime.

Listen, thanks for... All everything.

Especially the last few days.

You seem... Different, somehow.

I don't quite know what it is, but... Do I?

Yeah.

Well, I feel...

Feel at peace, I honour.

Well,

come on. You have to help me get this couch in.

A couch?

I'm not letting you a couch. You are, he says.

So this guy comes up to me and he says, I like your chocolate monsters.

I said, thanks very much.

He says, what's your recipe?

And I said, that's between me and my moulinette.

Then he says, I'll make it worth your while, son.

Turns out he runs a confectionery business in Dundee.

So,

he's asked me to develop a whole range of the beasties, you know, different

flavors and stuff, and he's prepared to pay big time for the recipe.

Really?

Pay the estate, that is.

No, I'll go on.

50 -50.

All right, so now we come to the tasting.

Now, it's a speed tasting, so the first to gulp down the monster gets a second.

Now, we have marzipan, peppermint, orange, lime, raspberry, and, for

The haggis flavour.

He hasn't seen it all yet.

Like on BBC One, tormented by the past.

Grace is under pressure in a new two -part Waking the Dead.

Wacky Races on BBC Three with more stars in fast cars.

And if you've got a question you'd like to put to Rae Hendry, who played Jess in

Monarch of the Glen, she's waiting to hear from you now at bbc .co .uk slash

monarch.