Original subtitles

The Loopy Desi Comedy Hour.

With special guest star, Fernando Lamas.

With Vivian Vance, William Crowley, and Little Ricky.

Honestly.

Do you need your guitar?

Because all of a sudden I may be doing a television show next week. I thought

that fell through. Well, it hasn't fallen through. My agent's still working

the deal, so just in case, I want to be ready. All right.

Oh, look, honey.

What's all that junk?

Junk? These are mementos, souvenirs of our courtship and our wedding and

everything. Oh.

What about my guitar strings?

Look.

Look, honey.

What's that?

Don't you remember the night we first met in Havana, you gave me this corsage?

I gave you a corsage of old tobacco leaves?

These are violet.

Violet?

Well, they looked a little better 17 years ago.

Yeah, well, we old it.

Oh, honey, look at this picture of us.

What's so funny?

We look like two scared rabbits.

When was that taken?

The day we got married.

I think it's a very sweet picture of us.

Honestly, Ricky, where's your sentiment?

Isn't there anything in there that's dear to your heart?

Yeah, here's something that's dear to my heart. Well, good. What is it? My

guitar strings.

Hi,

honey. Hi, Ethel. I'm returning your iron.

Fred finally fixed ours. Okay.

What's all this junk?

Ethel, this junk happens to be some of my most treasured keepsakes.

Oh, sentimental junk.

Gee, Ethel, Ricky didn't even remember what these things were.

And little things like this used to mean a lot to him.

When we were first going together, we were so lovey -dovey. I just can't

he's forgotten all the little things that meant so much to us.

I guess he was just preoccupied with that television show.

Sure, that's it. He was just preoccupied. Why, the romance hasn't

our marriage at all.

Are you trying to convince me or you?

I'm trying to convince you. I haven't doubted it for a minute. Okay, if you

so.

Oh, look.

Here's the record Ricky made for me of our song.

What happened to it?

Well, it got sort of broken.

How? I sort of sat on it. Oh.

Bells. Jingle.

Your romantic song was Jingle Bells?

Yeah, well, Ricky proposed to me on Christmas Eve, and besides, it was the

song he knew in English.

Oh, he was so cute when he used to sing it to me.

Jingle bells.

This is one thing Ricky will never forget.

I wouldn't count on it if I were you.

Let's face it, Lucy. Men are all alike.

They're just not sentimental.

Ricky is.

He would remember this.

Stop doing that in my ear. I'm trying to tune up my guitar.

Please, darling, please listen.

Now, you know what that is, don't you?

You're imitating a bumblebee?

Little Ricky drove us crazy last year rehearsing for the Christmas pageant.

Ethel Mertz, if you say one word, I'll never speak to you again.

I want you to open my mouth.

Ethel was right. Ricky Ricardo!

I'm talking about the fact that the romance has completely gone out of our

marriage. Now, how did you arrive at this conclusion?

I'll tell you how.

You didn't remember the first flowers you gave me. You didn't remember our

wedding picture. You didn't even remember our song.

Hi, Mommy. Hi, Daddy.

I'll bet you don't even remember him.

Now, Lucy, don't you think you've been a little silly? No, I'm not being silly.

Oh, baby.

I didn't realize you were serious about this. Yeah, well... I'm sorry, honey.

It's just that I had so many things in my mind lately, I haven't been very

thoughtful. Yeah, you can say that again.

Well, I promise you that from now on, I am going to be the very, very romantic

husband. Really? Just to prove it, you know what I'm going to do? What?

Next week, I'm going to take you on a second honeymoon, just the two of us.

Where?

Well... You know what we always wanted to go and we could not afford on our

first honeymoon?

Sun Valley.

Well, she's gone into town to get some clothes for Sun Valley, and that's what

went with her.

Oh, well, thanks a lot, Fred, but we're not going to be needing this.

That's what you think. When she gets through picking those department stores

clean, you'll need a dozen of those things.

Well, you understand, Fred, the television show came through, so we

Sun Valley.

Oh, does Lucy know?

What's the long, Rick?

Where are you going?

Down in the storm cellar until this blows over.

some, I'll just say, you know, that... Well, I'll tell her exactly what... I'll

just simply... Is there room for both of us in the summer?

Rick, I think you better call the television show off. I can. I signed a

contract already.

Now, Fred, believe me, when I explain to her what happened, she'll be very

understanding. Oh, by the way, they were looking for somebody to sing an old

-fashioned ballad, so I mentioned your name. Are you interested?

Well, you're darn tootin'.

I knew if I waited long enough, my type would come back in style.

Ricky's going to be in the show, too.

He's going to play the drums. Hey. Hi, fellas.

Oh, Ricky, wait till you see what I bought.

Some of the cutest outfits you ever laid your eyes on. Sweetie. Look at this

turtleneck sweater. It goes with the ski pants I bought.

Sweetie. And, of course, this peasant cardigan. Isn't it out of this world?

Honey. And this Italian silk scarf. What's the matter?

What makes you think that anything is the matter?

Two sweeties and a honey.

Well, about Sun Valley.

What about Sun Valley?

Well, now, look, Lucy, I know that you are mature enough to take a little

disappointment. The fact of the matter is that, well, the television show came

through and we cannot go to Sun Valley.

Oh. Well, that's all right, dear.

Certainly I'm mature enough to take a little disappointment.

I'm not a child.

Good girl. I'm proud of you.

Say, I told you that if I explain it to her, she will be very underst...

What were you saying, Rick?

get stale and humdrum.

Did I, honeybunch?

How could you? It started that way.

Now, look, honey, honey, I got an idea there. Now, wait a minute.

Wait a minute, sweetheart. I got an idea. Look, the week after next, I can

away, and then we'll go to some valley.

We'll really get to go?

You bet, sweetheart. I'll call you in Pacific when I change the reservation.

We'll go. That's a good idea. Week after next.

Oh,

no. Oh, dear. What's the matter?

Oh, I just remembered something.

Week after next, I got to do a show for the press club.

Don't worry.

We'll go sometime.

When? Well, maybe next month. Next month. Then the next month, it'll be the

month. And the next month after that, it'll be the next month after that.

Oh, maybe the only way I'll get to go on my second honeymoon is to go without

you.

without me. Maybe I will.

Maybe it's a good idea for husbands and wives to take separate honeymoons. Why

didn't we think of that?

Oh, dry up.

Maybe little Ricky would like to go with me. He can't go either. He's also going

to do the show.

Ethel, would you care to join me on my second honeymoon?

Sure. It's got to be better than my first.

Hold it, hold it.

Who's paying for this crazy trip?

I'll pay for it.

Fred, where are you going?

To pack your bags. Come on.

You're really going to go to some party without me?

I certainly am.

Unless, of course, you change your mind and cancel the show and come with me.

I...

Wish I had something to feed him.

I got a bag of potato chips in my pocket.

like white.

Lucy, let me take a picture of you against this background.

Oh, you're too close.

you do better than that.

This is my smile. Take it or leave it.

Guess who just walked in the door?

Who? Fernando Lamas.

Oh, that's nice.

Did you ever see a more gorgeous hunk of man?

Yes. Who?

Ricky.

Gee, I wish he was here.

I'm glad Fred isn't here. I'd throw rocks at him.

Let's take pictures of each other with him. Please, Ethel, I'm too upset about

Ricky to care anything about movie stars. Why would I possibly want a

myself with Fernando Lamas?

After all, I have a whole... Wait a minute.

Ethel, you just had a great idea.

Idea? Yes, listen. If you took a picture of me with Fernando Lamas, I could mail

it to Ricky and just casually mention in a letter that I've been seeing a lot of

him. I get it. He looks at the picture.

reads the letter, his eyes bug out with jealousy, he yells, He

rushes out here and punches Fernando Ramos in the nose. Yes!

No.

Not at all. He rushes out here, sweeps me into his arms, and never lets me out

of his sight again.

That sounds pretty good.

Now, look.

I'll just sort of wander over there and stand close to him so it'll look like

I'm with him. And you snap the picture. Wait a minute.

Wouldn't it be simpler just to ask to have your picture taken with him like we

did with the stars in Hollywood?

And get turned down like we did with the stars in Hollywood?

Now get ready.

When I nod my head, you take the picture.

Fricky will get jealous over a picture of Fernando's Adam's apple. You're in.

I couldn't help it. Just as I snapped it, he leaned back.

Oh, well, let me try again. And this time, make sure.

of you going like this i couldn't help it i got pepper in my nose let me try

once more

salami sandwiches.

Mr.

Lamas, she wanted to have her picture taken with you. Yes. Well, why didn't

ask me?

Oh, would you?

Of course, I'd be glad to. Oh.

Yes, we can do it while my sandwich is drying up.

Would you mind taking it outside?

Not at all. We can take advantage of the beautiful scenery.

Oh, yes.

We can be on our skis.

I'd like to see the whole valley.

Yeah.

Stand real close to him, honey. Yeah.

Okay.

On top of Mount Baldy, posing.

Next thing I knew, she pushed me off, jumped on my back, covered my eyes, and

skied up a tree.

Fair child.

Telephone. Excuse me, Mr. Lamb. Yes, of course.

to apologize.

Oh, that's perfectly all right. I'm sorry I lost my temper.

Oh, that's all right. I rather enjoyed being balled out in Spanish again.

What? My husband is Cuban. Oh, Cuba, such a lovely place. Yes, Havana is

particularly beautiful. Just beautiful. It's been wonderful seeing you, Mrs.

Ricardo, Lucy Ricardo.

Ricardo? Yes.

Cuban? Yes.

And not Ricky Ricardo?

Yes, you know him? Of course, we were together at MGM.

Really? Yes, when we left the studio

with a Spanish accent.

Oh, I'm terribly sorry. I forgot about your ribs. That's all right. That's

perfectly all right. I'm terribly sorry. Goodbye. Goodbye.

Lucy? Hmm?

Was that Mr. Lamas? Yes, and I apologized for yesterday and he couldn't

been nicer.

Well, that's good because I'm afraid we're going to have to prevail upon his

services again.

What do you mean?

I took yesterday is going to make Ricky very jealous.

Oh, Ethel, what happened? This is just a picture of snow. Where are we?

Well... I think about halfway down Mount Baldy.

Oh, Ethel.

I'm sorry, honey. I sure goofed.

Oh, well, let's go home.

We'll never get Ricky out here.

Oh, now, Lucy, don't give up. We'll think of some way. How?

Why don't you call Ricky and tell him you've been seeing a lot of Mr. Llamas?

He'd never believe me. He'd know it was one of my tricks.

I guess you're right.

I know. I'll call Fred and have him tell him.

Do you think he'd believe Fred?

Of course.

Fred may be grouchy and he may be tight, but somehow he's got honesty written

all over his sour little face.

That's true.

Well, go ahead. Give it a try.

Okay. They'll be rehearsing at the studio. I better call there, huh? Yeah.

Ethel.

Ricky that I'm having a wonderful time.

Perfectly wonderful.

You'll be sure to tell him.

Show's going along great, huh, Rick?

Yeah, I guess so.

Well, come on, snap out of it. Don't be so down in the dumps. I'm not down in

the dumps.

Well, you're giving a great imitation.

Here's your wife's away, and you miss her.

I do not miss her.

Oh, wait. There's a long -distance phone call for you. For me?

Yeah, your wife from Sun Valley. Oh.

I wonder why Ethel is calling you from Sun Valley. I don't know, but at these

prices, she better have a broken leg or something.

Uh, Rick, I'd like to get a balance on little Ricky's number, okay?

All right.

Where do you want it from? You want it from his drum solo? Yeah, yeah. All

right. We'll take it from you in drum solo, partner.

I'll give you the tempo, all right?

Very good, partner.

Thanks, Daddy.

That was wonderful, Ricky. Let's go check your costume, huh? Okay. Come on.

No bother.

Excuse me, fellas.

Oh.

Why did Ethel call you?

Are they really having a good time?

How is Ethel, anyway?

Just the same.

How do you like that? She had the nerve to call me all the way from Sun Valley,

and she hasn't got a broken bone in her body.

Oh, come on, Fred, admit it.

You enjoy talking to her.

Oh, it's all right, I guess.

Now, listen, Rick, I know it's none of my business, and I probably shouldn't

even tell you this, but Ethel says that actor, that Lamas, what's his name?

Fernando Lamas? That's the guy.

He's up there staying at the hotel where the girls are.

And Lucy is spending a lot of time with them. Oh?

Yeah, they're thick as thieves.

Skiing, skating, sleigh riding.

What's the point?

Don't you see?

She's just trying to make me jealous.

lose his harebrained schemes.

Oh, no, it isn't.

It's one of Ethel's harebrained.

I told you you wouldn't fall for it. Of course I wouldn't fall for it. Oh, come

on, Ray. Can't you swallow your pride and run out there for the weekend?

Nothing doing.

If there's any pride to be swallowed, let her swallow hers and come home.

Okay, everybody.

Fred, you want to address your number for camera?

Yeah. Perry, want to give Fred a pickup?

Harry, look.

Pull way back on this cabin shot. Here. Way back. I want to come in nice and

long on this shot.

Okay.

Come to me, my valentoled baby.

Huddle up.

And don't you be so blue.

A silver lining.

So wait until the sun comes peeping through.

And smile, my honey dear, while I

kiss away each little tear.

Or else I shall be...

real got me, I guess.

That gulp you just heard was me swallowing my pride.

When you're going up to see Lucy?

You bet you'll like it. Oh, good boy.

I'll fly out there, surprise her for the weekend. Good.

And I'll say hello to her for you.

You won't have to. I'll say hello myself.

Huh? Can I help it if I sang that song so good it got me too?

Loopy, they said someone wanted to see us here in the lobby. Do you know

anything about it? Oh, yes. It'll be right down there.

Surprise!

Surprise! Oh, Ricky!

Oh, honey, am I glad to see you.

Oh, gee, I was lonesome.

You were?

Yeah, where's little Ricky?

He's staying with your mother, honey. Oh.

Fred and I thought we'd surprise her for the weekend. Oh, well, you sure did.

I bet you're sure surprised, Ethel.

Surprised? I'm flabbergasted.

I think you'd spend all that money to come way out.

just to see little old me.

Well, I figured coming out here was cheaper than those long -distance phone

calls.

Oh, Fred, sometimes you're awful cute.

You really are.

I missed you.

I'm here.

Now take your hands off me.

Well, Ethel, I guess our little scheme worked, huh?

Honey, now that you're here, I want to confess something. What?

I haven't really been seeing him at all.

Him who?

Fernando Lamas. Oh, yeah, that's right. I was supposed to be yellow.

I'm not yellow.

You're not?

No. Well, then why did you come all the way out here?

Well, because I was lonesome. I miss you.

Is that all?

You mean you didn't believe that story?

Of course not, honey. I came here because I love you.

What kind of a...

I mean, it's, uh, you know, it's... It's so ridiculous, I

mean... I don't see what's so ridiculous about it.

Honey, you just said you made the whole thing up yourself. All right, I made it

up, but it could have happened.

Just because you think of me as a wife doesn't mean that Fernando Lamas

find me attractive.

I did say that he couldn't find you attractive. Yes, you did.

at you, too.

Yeah, let's not all get hot out of the car.

Now, look, Lucy, I came here because I was lonesome.

Isn't that enough?

No, it's not enough.

Anyway, how could you be lonesome for an unattractive old frump like me?

Fernando, I, you know, I just got here yesterday. And I got a little problem. I

wonder if you would help me out.

Fine, fine.

I understand you met my wife, Lucy.

Yes.

You see, we had a fight.

And she came out here alone, you know.

And then she saw you, and she got an idea.

And she got somebody telling me that...

You were seeing a lot of each other, so I would have... I would come up here

because I was yellows.

Uh, yellows?

Si, senoso.

Oh, yellows! Yellows.

I didn't believe her, you know.

And I laughed at her, and I hurt her feelings.

So now I'm in the doghouse.

So... I thought maybe, you know, you could... Well, this afternoon we're

to be down in the skating rink. I get it. I get it. Do you want me to make a

fuss over here and you pretend to get mad?

All right. I'll do it.

Well, thanks a lot. That's all right. This might sound a little silly, you

but... Well, Lucy's... Well, she's a little... You know...

Well,

I sure appreciate this. That's all right.

So I'll see you in the ice skating rink this afternoon. Wonderful.

And you dance with her. Wonderful. Perfect.

But remember, this is yes between us.

Yes between us.

who took the picture. Yes, I remember.

From the mountain. Yes.

Did I talk to you? Well, I'm afraid I don't have any time now. You see, I have

an interview in a few minutes, an appointment.

Well, this will just take a minute.

I know it's terrible of me to ask you a favor, but you're the only one who can

help. I understand you met Ricky out in Hollywood. Yes, yes. Well, Lucy and

Ricky had a fight, and I thought maybe if you could act kind of interested in

her, it'd make Ricky jealous, and then she could see that her husband wasn't

taking her for granted.

The whole thing...

What's the matter?

I never saw a movie star in his bathrobe before.

Oh, we wear bathrobes.

Oh, yeah, well.

This afternoon, we're going to go skating. And I thought maybe if you'd

drop by the table and say, Sir, oh, Mr.

Lama.

Madame, please control yourself.

Yes, I'm... I have a shower. to take and we have a marriage to save.

Then you'll do it? I'll do it. Oh, Mr. Lamas, you're just wonderful.

Thank you. Oh, thank you so much. Thank you.

Now remember, this is our little secret.

Just a minute!

Yes,

hi there.

My name is Fred Mertz.

I think you met my wife. Yes, she was just... Yes, I have.

Now, this might seem a little bit crazy to you, but I'm going to ask you to do

me a favor, Ferdinand.

Fernando. Yeah.

And I was wondering if we couldn't... You want me to make a fuss over her so

gets jealous and she realizes he's not taking her for granted.

Yeah. Hey, you catch on quick, don't you?

But I don't know just how we're going to arrange this. Well, how about this

afternoon at the skating rink? I could ask Lucy to skate with me. Well, that's

swell.

How'd you happen to think of that?

Oh, I don't know.

I guess this is old stuff for you Latin lovers, eh?

We've got to keep this just between us.

Just between us.

I sure appreciate this, Ferdinand. Fernando.

Yeah.

to ask of you. You see, my husband, Ricky, got here and I had told him that

were interested in me and, well, he didn't believe me and I thought maybe

afternoon at the... Do you know that you're...

See, have you noticed Fernando Lamas hasn't taken his eyes off you?

Really? No, I haven't noticed.

Well, I have.

Hello. Hi.

Hello. Hi.

Isn't this a beautiful day?

Yeah, nice.

Nice.

Say, Ricky, would you mind if I escaped with your beautiful wife?

Thank you. I'd just love to.

The nerve of the guy.

Thanks for doing this. Ricky's boiling.

I hope it isn't too boring for you. On the contrary, I'm enjoying it.

Do you think we could do something a little fancy, you know, to look good in

front of Ricky?

Sure, I'll do a spin with you. A spin?

Yes, all you have to do is hang on. I think I can manage that.

All right, now let me take your left hand.

Shall we... Shall we skate, uh, partners?

Oh, uh... Oh, yeah.

Yeah, that'd be fine.

Oh, Ricky, you'll love this.

Shall we go?

Yeah.

Boy, they're sure skating close together.

Yeah, they're closer than five minutes to eleven.

You ask me, I think they're scanning a little too close together.

And right in front of you, too.

Yeah. Nerve of that guy.

He may be nervy, but he's awfully handsome.

Yeah, he sure is handsome, all right.

Fernando's only putting on an act. I told him to, so you'd get jealous. You

him to put on an act. I told him to put on an act.

Well, I told him to put on an act, too, but he's trying for an Academy Award.

Just a minute.

What's the matter?

I don't like the way you got your arms around my wife. You're holding her too

close. Well, a woman as beautiful as your wife cannot be held too close.

coming with me.

Lucy and Ricky.

What's so terrible about a ski lift?

I'm not going to go hurtling through space in that strung -out Ferris wheel.

Oh, for heaven's sake, Fred.

Hi.

Gee, isn't this exciting? My first ski lesson.

And, uh, Fred?

Did you decide to come with us?

Nope. Not unless he can hire a dog sled and mush up.

Oh, Fred.

Oh, you go ahead, honey, and have a good time. We'll stay. here. It's only five

hours till tea time.

Oh, well, we'll see you later. See you later. Bye.

Bye. May I have my bin?

Oh, honey, there's Fernando. I think he's checking out. Let's say goodbye to

him. Lucy, the nicest thing we can do to the man is to leave him alone.

He already thinks we're a bunch of lunatics.

He does not. You apologize.

He accepted. It's all forgotten. Come on, come on.

Hi, Fernando.

Oh, hello.

Are you leaving us, amigo?

Yeah. Yes, I'm afraid so.

I hope there's no heartbeats. Not at all.

The doctor says the tape is coming off in a couple of days.

My eye will be all right in about a week.

He says it'll take about ten days for mine.

We're sure sorry to see you go, Fernando.

Well, I have to go to Europe. I'm doing a picture there, a musical.

Oh, are you going to sing?

And dance.

And dance?

Yes, I'm doing a big samba number.

Oh, for heaven's sake. Well, we wish you a lot of luck. Well, thank you. Yeah,

we certainly do. You've been a wonderful sport. You know, thanks to you, Ricky

and I are happier than ever. Well, I'm very, very glad.

Well, Lucy, meeting you has certainly been interesting.

Oh, well, thank you.

Oh,

I almost forgot. I called my mother long distance last night and she said to be

sure and get your autograph.

I hope you don't mind. Of course. Of course not. Oh, fine. I'll get a pencil.