Original subtitles

Get out of my tulip bed.

The idea.

What's the matter, Mommy? Oh, Fred's trying to bury his bone in my tulip bed.

Oh, that's naughty, Fred. Yes, that's naughty, Fred. Especially when Mama's

trying to win a prize.

A prize?

Yeah. The garden club's going to give a prize for the best -looking garden

tomorrow. Mama wants to win the prize.

Hear that, Fred?

Yeah, you hear that, Fred? Now you just take your old bone and skedaddle. Here,

you take it, honey, and call him. Come on, Fred. Go on. Come on, Fred.

Go on. You go on. Come on, Fred.

Take him way outside there now.

Now you stay out of here, Fred.

Hi, honey. Hi.

Oh, how do you think my tulips look? Oh, they're just beautiful.

You think I can win a prize?

Well, I don't know, Lucy. I was just next door at Betty Ramsey's, and her

are beautiful, too.

In fact, her whole garden's just gorgeous.

She really has a green thumb.

If I win that prize tomorrow, she'll be green all over.

Oh, this is work. It's fun.

You know, you ought to have a garden, Ethel.

Then you can have fresh flowers all the time.

Oh, who has to work so hard?

I just went down to the village gift shop and bought some wax tulips, and you

can't tell the difference.

Wax tulips? Oh, Ethel, how can you live with a substitute when you can have the

real thing?

I don't know. I've been asking myself that ever since I married Fred.

We do have a chance to win that prize tomorrow.

I hope so, honey.

But remember now, Betty's won the cup three years in a row.

That's before I moved to Westport.

Gee, I get a big kick out of beating her. She thinks she's so smart.

You know, the way she brags about the cross -pollination she does, you'd think

she was a bee.

That's what I like. A nice, friendly rivalry between friends.

Well, she thinks she knows everything. She's always talking about root rot and

compost heaps and aphids and all that.

Here comes the queen bee.

Hi. Hi, Betty dear.

I'm going to New York to meet Ralph, but I had to stop by and see how your

garden looks. Oh, Lucy, it's lovely. Oh, can't compare with your garden, Betty.

Oh, I don't know. You're going to be pretty stiff competition.

Well, I know it hasn't got a chance against your garden. As a matter of

was just looking at it, and I was thinking it looked so ratty, I ought to

it under and plant rutabagas.

This is one of the prettiest gardens I've ever seen.

Well, thanks, Betty. For a beginner.

For a beginner.

I'll bet you when the judges award the prizes tomorrow, you're going to walk

away with at least second or third.

And who do you think's going to walk away with first, Betty?

Well, three years in a row with the same bulbs, the same soil, and the same shy,

modest gardener.

Well, see, that wasn't a very nice thing to say.

Well, it wasn't very nice of you to call me a beginner.

Now, look. See, here you are, a ranked beginner. You don't know the first thing

about gardening.

I'll match my tulips against the blues from your burned -out bulbs any day.

Oh, now, look. Why doesn't everybody take her green thumb and go to a neutral

corner? You keep out of this, Ethel. Yeah, butt out, Ethel.

We'll just see who wins tomorrow.

And if I were you, Lucy, I wouldn't clear a place on your mantle for that

Oh, boy, your tulips get root rot.

Well, now that was a pretty exchange. Well, she makes me so mad. There's no

reason why I can't win that prize tomorrow.

My tulips are perfect. My roses are beautiful, and my lawn... Oh, good

the lawn. Ricky forgot to mow the lawn.

Well, it does look kind of shaggy. He promised... Trust me faithfully, you get

this mowing done in time for the judging tomorrow.

Husbands make me so mad. They're always promising they'll do something for you

and then they don't do it. Well, that's one problem I never have with Fred.

You don't? Nope. Never promised to do anything for me in the first place. Oh.

Let's go find my reluctant grass cutter. Okay.

Rick, you asleep?

No, Fred, just relaxing. Okay.

You

think

you'd maybe like to go down to the village?

We could browse around the hardware store and kind of...

Poke at the power tools.

No, not today, Fred.

My day off.

Wouldn't move off this couch if my foot wasn't fire.

Ricky?

Oh, hi, honey.

Do you think if a person makes a promise, he should keep it?

Sure, honey.

And if a husband makes a promise to his wife and doesn't keep it, isn't he a

cad?

I guess so.

Then why didn't you cut the grass?

Hi, Ethel.

What have you got to say?

Well, it looks like you're married to a cat.

like pushing a lawnmower all afternoon.

But the grass is a foot high. What am I going to do?

Maybe you could rent a couple of sheep for the day.

Oh, you two are a big help. Lucy's trying so hard to beat Betty and win

prize. Ralph cut the grass for Betty.

Well, I would, too, if I had a power mower like Ralph has.

Well, good. Then Ralph said that you could borrow his lawnmower any day you

want, so then it's all settled.

Except that today is not the day I want to borrow it.

Gotcha the third.

Are you going to do it?

When she uses my full name, I'm cooked.

Go help him, Fred.

I will not.

You go out there and help him, Frederick Hobart E .D. Mertz the first.

Finish my list here.

Come on, Rick. How about it?

Nothing to it. Get out of my way.

I'm not moving.

Now, Fred, for the last time, I'm warning you.

What's going on?

Now, Fred, I'm telling you, for the last time, I want to cut the line with you

standing. Get out of my way.

I'm not moving till you let me take my turn and quit trying to hog it all.

He won't let me take my turn on the mower.

It's not your turn yet. I still got a whole minute to go.

Not by my watch, you haven't. Oh, come on now. You must be able to settle this

peacefully. I'd love to. He just gets out of my way.

I'm not getting out of his way till he lets me take my turn.

He's been on that mower so long he'd think he was glued to the seat.

Come on, Ricky.

Let Fred have his turn.

I don't have to let him have his turn.

He's not his lawnmower. Well, it's not yours either.

Come on, take your turns like little gentlemen.

Well, all right.

Go on, take your old turn.

You're darn tootin', I will.

Oh, come on, let's go.

Oh, now wait.

Do you think it's safe to leave the children here all by themselves? They

get to fightin' again over that toy. Well, I'll tell little Ricky to keep his

eye on them.

this thing.

Figure it out for yourself.

Oh, gee, is it a beautiful day.

And the lawn looks great, what they've cut of it. Yeah.

Wonder why they left the mower out by the garage. Where do you think they've

gone? Probably in the kitchen having a cold drink.

What? Harry Munson had some tickets for the baseball game, and we took little

Ricky with us.

What are they going to do about the lawn?

Says they'll finish it in the morning.

Oh, well, then that's all right.

All right, my foot, I have no idea how early those judges are coming in the

morning. Oh, honestly.

If they hadn't spent so much time arguing about whose turn it was, they

have had it finished.

Well, I guess there's just one thing to do. What? I'll have to finish the lawn

myself.

I don't know anything about running a power mower.

Well, what is there to know?

I know how to drive a car. It can't be any harder than that. Come on.

Uh -oh.

Interesting little machine, isn't it?

Now you get it started.

Oh, fine.

Oh, look, it's got a crank. I guess you crank it like the old...

That was quite a bit before my time.

Oh, come now, Ethel.

I only go back as far as the stuck bear cat and no farther.

Hey,

this looks like it might be fun. Come on, crank her up, girl.

Gee, it's got gear shifts and everything.

Oh, you've got to get a good grip. You've got to get a good grip and go

there. Lots of elbow grease. Steady. Steady around.

Oh, honey, you're not doing it right. This is exactly the way we used to

crack... Same way you used to crank, huh? Well, I've been watching

those old movies on television. Oh, right. The late, late show. Yeah.

Come on, crank her up.

cooking sherry.

Oh, Lucy.

Where have you been?

Oh, where haven't I been? I've seen parts of Connecticut I didn't even know

existed.

Of course, that galloping grass cutter took me straight through the main street

of town.

The way people came out of their houses to watch me ride by, you'd have thought

I was Lady Godiva.

Then what happened?

Well, the next thing I knew, I was on the Boston...

way like that.

It wasn't my idea. That beast has a mind of its own.

I stayed on that post road for a mile and a half.

You didn't.

Now, against traffic all the way.

Oh, Lucy, you must have been terrified.

Oh, I was. If I ever let my hair get dark at the roots, I'm afraid it's going

be snow white.

Was there much damage?

Well, every lawn between here and town is half mowed.

Well, thank goodness nothing really serious happened.

That's what you think.

Now, don't get too upset.

Maybe you could get some tulips at the nursery and put them in Betty's garden

before she gets back from town.

Oh, honey, there isn't a tulip left in the nursery with a bloom on it. I was

just there yesterday.

I feel so bad I could cry.

Oh, dear.

I know what you could do. What?

You can take your tulips and transplant them into Betty's garden.

Ethel, I feel bad, but not that bad.

Now, Lucy?

Well, maybe I'd better.

I ruined hers. I guess it's only fair I give her mine.

Good girl.

Oh, gee, when I think of the loving care I've given those little pink blooms.

Wait a minute.

Betty's tulips are yellow. I could never fool her with my pink ones.

It won't work. Thank goodness.

That's right. They were yellow, just like those wax ones I bought.

That's it.

Wax tulips. I'll go down to the gift shop and get some wax tulips and put

in there. Come on.

both roads?

Yeah, honey, but nothing happened, no accidents or anything. All that happened

was that people slammed on their brakes and pulled over to the side when they

saw me coming. Then what happened?

Well, like I said, I finally got the fool thing headed for home, and I went

along pretty good, except for an occasional detour into someone's yard,

know, until I got to the Ramsey's.

And then that infernal machine...

that little switch by the carburetor and shut off the motor. Because I didn't

know anything about the little switch by the carburetor to shut off the motor.

Now, don't think of him just because you insisted on fooling around with the

machine that you didn't know anything about.

And I wouldn't have been fooling around with the machine I didn't know anything

about if you hadn't gone tooting off to some baseball game.

Well, you know something, honey? You're right.

I'll let you down.

The minute the Ramses get home, I'll go over there and I'll tell Betty that it

was all my fault.

Oh, well, honey, thank you, but that won't be necessary.

What do you mean? Well, I know how Betty feels about her garden, so I replaced

them. Oh, good. You went to the nursery and bought some new ones and

transplanted them, huh? Yeah, well, no. The nursery was all out of tulips, so I

went to the gift shop and got some wax ones.

Wax tulips? Yeah.

Now, you think you're going to fool the judges with wax tulips? Oh, yes. Yeah,

Rick.

They look real. You can't tell the difference. Oh, come on now. Any child

tell the difference between a real tulip and a real... and a wax tulip. Honey,

do you mean that I wouldn't be able to get wax tulips that look as good as

these? Never in a million years.

These are wax.

What are you talking about? Yeah.

Why, George, they are wax. Yeah.

You know something?

Maybe this could fool the judges.

Oh, I hope so, for Betty's sake.

And look, for my sake, when are you going to finish cutting the grass? I'm

to do it right now.

dinner over here tonight, so just read the paper for a while while we fix it.

Okay, okay.

Fred!

Where are the girls?

In the kitchen. Come on!

Well, where are we going?

I want you to go to the gift shop for me.

What for?

how Lucy said that it was too dark out there to see what I was doing?

Yeah. She was right.

Yeah, Lucy's tulips are going to be waxed too. Oh, come on. Let's go.

Oh,

the

judges

are still over at the Ramses.

Oh, honey, is it hot or am I just nervous? Both. It's hot, all right. Why

they taking so long over there?

They didn't find out about the tulips, did they? Now, now, honey, calm down.

Everything will be all right there. Oh, I just hope those judges are

nearsighted. That makes two of us.

I tried to fix it by replacing your tulips with the wax ones. I'm sorry. But

fixed it all right. You fixed it so I couldn't possibly win.

Oh, really, I'm terribly sorry, Betty. Look, if I win the cup, I'll give it to

you. No, that won't be necessary. No, I insist, Betty. Betty, by the way, how

did the judges find out that the tulips were waxed?

Well, it wasn't hard. They were melting in the sun.

I don't think there's any doubt about who the winner will be.

You mean Lucy's won?

Oh, honey, as long as it couldn't be me, I'm glad it was you. Oh, thanks, Betty,

but my offer still goes about that cup. Well, look, let's all go inside and have

some lemonade. It's very hot outside. These are remarkably perfect.

Well, I certainly love raising them. You see, I started from scratch.

I didn't have a compost heap. I didn't have anything because I just moved here.

Let's go inside and have some lemonade, everybody.

We can talk about it inside, honey.

Betty didn't have anything to do about this. I can explain.

You? Well, start explaining.

Well, now, this might be very hard to believe, but you know, like you said

night, it was too dark outside to see what I was doing. Yes, yes.

Well, you was right. It was dark.

Oh, it was so dark. It was darker than the inside of your sombrero.

And I was mowing the lawn very nicely. I mean, you really... I don't know how

you did so well on the Boston Post Road. I mean...

Here again are Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz for our alternate sponsor.

Listen, honey, tonight I got to tell the ladies about the new Squeeze Comb Lilt

Home Permanent, and I need your help.

Oh, you sure do.

It's the new Squeeze Comb Lilt Home Permanent. No, no, you don't understand,

honey. Just tell me the name of this thing here. That's the Squeeze Comb. I

mean, it's the Squeeze Comb.

No, no, no, no, this.

Oh, that's the comb tip. Thank you. Now, this comb tip comes the lotion right

into your hair out of the squeeze bottle.

Remember how we gals used to dip, dab those messy lotions on? Well, that's

With new lilt, you just squeeze the bottle and it combs itself right in.

simple, even he could do it if he had to.

Ah, sissy.

Yeah, sissy.

And you'll get the most beautiful, longest -lasting home permanence you've

had. Thank you, honey. Now, ladies, remember this name.

Squeeze.

Come.

Lilt.

Squeeze, comb, lilt.

The hearty coffee you can drink as strong as you like. It still can't upset

nerves.

I Love Lucy is a Desilu production.

Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz will be back next week at this same time.

Stay tuned for December Bride starring Spring Byington, which follows

immediately over most of these same stations.