Original subtitles

I went next door to the Ramseys to borrow some.

Oh. Oh, gee, that Betty Ramsey is a nice person.

And so is Ralph, her husband. You're just going to love him. We're sure lucky

have such good neighbors.

Look, honey, I don't think it's a good idea to get too friendly with the

neighbors too fast.

Why not? We're going to be living here the rest of our lives.

Why shouldn't we get friendly with the neighbors right away?

That's just it.

We are going to be here for the rest of our lives, so I think that we get...

Then we should get chummy gradually.

Oh, well, maybe you can get chummy gradually.

With me, it's instant chummy.

Well, I still say that you should rush into friendships.

Oh, push -push.

Here you are. Nice neighborly toast.

How about some nice unneighborly jelly? Okay, dear, I'll get it. Thank you. Gee,

you should see the Ramsey's house. It's all done in the most beautiful early

American. I'm getting some wonderful ideas from Betty for redecorating our

house.

In the far distant future, of course.

Here you are, doll.

Thank you.

Why don't you ask me what's the matter?

I can't afford to ask you what the matter.

Honey, our old furniture looks just awful in our beautiful new house.

What are you talking about? When we bought this house, you said that our

furniture would look perfect in here.

Well, we haven't got enough furniture for this big place.

Oh, gee, honey, please, can't I buy just one new thing?

All right, I guess we could afford one new thing. What's it going to be?

One house full of furniture.

One living room full of furniture?

Oh, if you put some seeds in your head, you could use it for a maraca.

Look, Lucy, we just got an order for a lot of new furniture right now.

But this stuff looks so awful.

Look, why can't we put all this in the den? And then all we'll need is just a

few basic things, you know, like a table and a lamp and a little old rug.

Oh, please, honey, please.

All right, all right.

You can buy $500 worth of furniture. And not a penny more. Oh, thank you, honey.

Thank you so much. All right.

Well, good morning, Bruce.

Hello. Hi, honey. You know Bruce Ramsey. Oh, yeah. Hi, Bruce.

Hi. Is little Ricky here? Yes, sweetheart. He's here. He's upstairs. Go

And Ricardo.

How about that?

I gotta go.

I gotta catch the 920. Oh, okay, darling.

Bye -bye, sweetheart. Goodbye, honey.

Now, only $500.

I know, $500. I have it engraved right here. All right.

Wanting to buy new furniture? Yes. Well, I just talked to Ralph on the phone,

and he's arranged for us to go to a wholesale furniture place this

Oh, how wonderful. And I just talked to Ricky, and he said, go ahead, buy a few

things. Oh, good. How about that? You want some coffee? I'd love some.

Oh, really? They have simply gorgeous things at this place. And I can get you

% discount on everything you buy.

Oh, that's great.

Let's see, 40 % of five of the...

Of what Ricky said I could spend.

Why, I can get almost twice as much as I thought I could.

Oh, you're so lucky, Lucy. You know, most husbands would raise quite a fuss

their wives wanted to redecorate.

Ricky must be very generous.

Oh, yes, he's very generous in his own little way.

Of course, someone in Ricky's position doesn't have to worry about money.

No.

to keep a couple of the old pieces for sentimental reasons, you know. Oh, no,

no, no, dear. You don't want to mix this beat -up old stuff with your lovely new

thing.

Well, I don't want to, but... You know what we should do with this?

Set fire to it?

No, trade it in. Get an allowance on the new furniture. That way you'll save

even more money.

Trade it in? That's a great idea. Now, I think we should put two wing chairs

here. Two wing chairs, yeah. And a big sofa here.

Maybe even two sofas. Two sofas? Yes.

Now, let's see, Lucy. We've picked out the whole dining room set, the buffet,

the two chairs, the couch, bench, and table.

Now, we decide on a coffee table. Uh -huh.

Well, how about this one?

Yes, yes, that's very nice.

How about that one over there, Betty? Could be.

The shape there.

Now, a lamp.

That's attractive.

Oh, isn't it? Yes.

How about that one over there?

at parties, our friends like to try on lampshades for hats. I was just making

sure it was the right size.

Oh, Lucy, you're such a clown.

Yeah.

Yeah, you know, Betty, I can't get over how inexpensive all this furniture is.

Well, what do you mean, dear? Mr. Perry hasn't quoted prices yet.

Oh, well, I just casually happened to glance at some of the price tags, and

there's some real bargains here.

Price tags?

Yeah. You know, like... Princess, here's one right here. See, this table's 1062.

Oh, Lucy, there you go clowning. Those aren't price tags, they're stock

Stock numbers?

Mrs. Ramsey, I've been going over Mrs. Ricardo's purchases like you asked me

and the furniture that she has selected so far, less the 40 % discount, of

course, and the allowance on her old furniture comes to exactly $1 ,875 .50.

Little favors for our friends.

$1 ,875 .50.

That price is fantastic.

You can say that again.

Now, Mr. Perry, do you have any more lamps besides these? Because I don't

any of these are right for Mrs. Ricardo.

I have just the thing for you. Oh, look, Betty.

Betty, maybe I shouldn't have rushed into this. Maybe I shouldn't buy so much

all at once. Maybe I should just buy a chair or a lamp or a little table or

something. But dear...

Yeah, why not?

Well, because I sort of like to have furniture trickle in one at a time, you

know.

Chair of the month club.

Stop clowning, Lucy. Here we are.

Oh, that's very nice.

To tell you the truth, Betty, I need everything by Saturday night.

Yeah, we're having some friends in Saturday night, and if we can't have

everything by Saturday night, and I know that's impossible.

Why, then, I'm afraid I won't be able to take any of it.

But just so the afternoon won't be a total loss, I'll take this little

here.

Oh, my, that is awfully fast.

Yes, I knew it would be, so if you'll just wrap this up. But since you're such

good friend of Mrs.

Ramsey's, I'll do it.

Thanks a lot.

This is $24 .50. I'll just put it with your other furniture.

Thank you so much, Mr.

Perry.

Come on, Lucy, we've got lots of other things to look at. We haven't even

started on the den yet, dear.

Yeah, why now? What have I got to lose except my life?

What?

Oh, there I go clowning again.

but we can get those next week. Listen, I have to run now, dear, but I'll see

you later, all right? Okay. Bye, Betty. Bye.

Operator, can I have Schuyler 4 -8098, New York City, please?

Hello? Oh, I'm in terrible trouble. Can you come out right away?

What's the matter? What's up?

It's Lucy, and she's in trouble. Quick, hang up.

Is it bad trouble, honey?

Well, Ricky told me that I could spend $500 for some new furniture, and I got

carried away, and I spent over... I... I spent over...

How much? How much?

I spent over $3 ,000.

$3 ,000!

What? What? What about $3 ,000?

she could spend $500 for some new furniture, and she spent over $3 ,000.

Now, Fred... Fred, loosen your collar so you won't faint.

Fred, it's not your money.

Lucy, what happened to Fred?

Oh, he got lightheaded just thinking about somebody spending $3 ,000.

Oh, Ed, look, can you come out right away? Maybe Ricky won't be so mad if

here. Sure, honey, we'll get on a train just as soon as I can revive Fred. Oh,

thank you so much, and hurry, hurry!

Connecticut. Three thousand dollars.

And I said, yes.

Well.

Walk like a normal human being.

Now, do you promise that, Ricky, do you?

Okay, I promise.

Let me out! You see?

You stay right where you are.

Oh, now, honey, you promise to be calm and understanding.

I am.

I am calm.

And I am very understanding.

Now, we go in there. We go and sit down in there.

And we talk over this whole thing like two normal... about human beings.

Honey, isn't this pretty? What we're sitting on?

See, I got both of them because the room is so big and they match the two chairs

and everything. I bought this because I like the little railings and it spins.

You can get things from all sides. And the rug, did you notice the rug is $3

,000!

$3 ,272 .65.

Hey, dear, we really saved you money, you see, because Betty got them to take

our other furniture in on trade, and Betty got us a 40 % discount.

Betty. Yes, Betty.

Do you remember I told you it wasn't right to get too chummy with the

too fast?

Oh, you're not going to say I told you so. Yes, I am.

Well, I just thought I'd ask.

But, honey, I still say that Betty did us a big favor.

Do you know how much money we're saving?

Yeah, exactly.

We're saving $3 ,292 .95.

Because all this stuff is going back.

Oh, honey, I can't return all this.

What'll I tell Betty Ramsey?

Just tell her the truth.

Tell her we can't afford it. I couldn't tell her that.

Why not?

Well, I just couldn't, that's all. You tell her. You go on over and tell her

you're a tightwad.

I'm a tightwad?

Well, if the shoe fits.

You go right over there. You go right over there this minute and tell Betty.

Right this minute you go over there and tell her. I'll be upstairs.

I'm just on my way over to talk to you.

I'm afraid we're going to have to return all these things.

Return them? Why?

Well, we just can't... I don't think that... Well...

We just don't think that we should... We should look at some other furniture

before we plunge into buying all this.

Well, Lucy, you might at least have told me this before we took up Mr. Perry's

time and had everything set out.

Yeah, well...

and bamboo mats and cushions thrown all around. We love to eat on the floor.

And lanterns and screens and a built -in Mahjong set.

All right, Lucy, why don't you just come right out and say it?

Say what?

You don't like my taste.

Oh, no, Betty, I didn't mean that. No, what else could it be? I'm only trying

be helpful. Well, that's what I get. My husband warned me not to get too chummy

with the new neighbors, and he was so right.

Oh, Betty, but I didn't say that.

Betty, listen.

Oh, dear.

Oh, dear.

What's the matter?

Betty Ramsey was just here.

Oh, you're telling her that we couldn't afford the furniture?

Oh, I couldn't bring myself to tell her we couldn't afford it. So now she thinks

that we don't like her taste and everything's a big mess.

We got everything fouled up.

All right, I'll go next door and have a man -to -man talk with her husband. I'm

just telling that we cannot have...

Thank you. Let's go in the den where we can sit down.

I haven't got much time. I just want to talk to you about something.

Oh? I was telling the boys down at the agency that I live next door to a big

celebrity now.

What agency are you with?

Burton, Walshman, and Ramsey.

Oh.

Are you that Ramsey?

Well, yes, I guess I am.

I was talking about you last week out at the country club. You were?

Mm -hmm.

Proposed your name to the membership committee.

No kidding.

Yeah, of course, the dues and initiation fee are pretty high, but I told him

that money doesn't mean a thing to a big star like Ricky Ricardo.

Yeah, well, uh... Yeah,

sure.

Yesterday, down at our weekly think conference at the agency, I suggested

name for a guest shot on the TV show.

You did?

Yes, and the reaction was tremendous.

Well, isn't that nice?

Are you interested?

Why, sure, I'm always interested in doing guest spots.

Oh, good, good.

What was it you wanted to talk to me about? Oh, well, I just wanted to talk

you about the furniture that your wife picked up. Oh, that's all right. You

don't have to thank me. I was glad to set it up for you. How do you like it?

Fine, fine.

Only that... Well, it's a little bit high... High price?

No, no, no. It's not that. It's that... High class.

You know, we... We're very earthy people.

You mean you don't like it? Oh, no, no. It's not that. It's fine. It's just

that... Well...

It's not for us.

What you mean is it doesn't suit you? Yes, that's it.

In other words, you don't like my wife's taste.

I didn't say that.

Well, that's what you were inferring. Well, no, I didn't infer it either.

Well, I got you a wonderful discount, so it can't be the price. What is it?

We just want to return it, that's all.

Well, it's impossible.

Why? Well, I went to a lot of trouble to set up that deal. I can't ask those

people to take it back.

Why not?

Well, I just can't, that's all.

Are you by any chance getting a kickback from this furniture store?

Now, look here, Mr. Ricardo.

I don't have to stand here and be insulted.

First you don't like my wife's taste, now you call me a crook. I think you

better get going.

Are you throwing me out?

I said, I think you better get going.

Who's gonna make me?

You are.

Ha!

Would you care to step outside?

I love you.

So would I. Good.

Good!

And you can forget about that TV show. We'll get Cougar. That does it. Come on.

You suppose we beat Ricky here?

I guess so. There's nothing broken.

My, Fred.

Isn't all this new furniture beautiful?

Beautiful it is.

Three thousand dollars worth it ain't.

It's too quiet around here. I don't like it.

He looks like that. What must Lucy look like?

Oh, Fred and Ethel, you're here.

Not a scratch on her.

Honey, what happened?

Don't you know?

No. Honey, what happened to you?

Well,

what about Ralph Ramsey?

What's he saying, Lucy? What's he saying?

Well, as near as I can tell, our next... door neighbor Ralph Ramsey pushed him

into a rose bush.

Why did he do a thing like that? Well, Ricky went over to tell Ralph Ramsey,

that's Betty's husband, that we couldn't afford to keep all this furniture.

Because when I told Betty we couldn't afford it, she thought that I thought

she had bad taste.

What'd she say?

I got it, didn't you?

No, I was doing better with his Spanish.

Peace and quiet.

We'll get cleaned up.

This is all a big misunderstanding.

The real reason for all this trouble is that the Ricardos simply cannot afford

all this new furniture.

Is that all?

Why didn't you say so?

Yeah, why didn't you say so?

Yeah, why didn't you say so?

too embarrassed to admit it.

Yeah, me too.

We would have understood.

I've been wanting to redecorate our house for years, but we just couldn't...

ahead, honey, tell them. We couldn't afford it either.

If you want that job, it's yours.

Well, thanks. I'll take it. Hey, Lucy. Yeah.

Ralph is going to give me a television job in one of his shows, a guest

appearance. A television job? Yeah. Oh, boy, that's wonderful.

Yeah, it's $3 ,500.

$3 ,500?

$3 ,500.

Honey, that'll just about, uh... Yeah, I know. Pay for the new furniture.

has been presented for your pleasure by Instant Sanka, the hearty coffee you can

drink as strong as you like. It still can't upset your nerves.

I Love Lucy is a Desilu production.

Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz will be back next week at this same time.