Original subtitles

Did you have a nice weekend in Connecticut?

Oh, honey, it was just marvelous. The Munson's place is so beautiful, and

Munson is so sweet. Look what she gave me to bring home. Country butter.

Oh, that's wonderful.

Grace made that herself.

And look.

Grape jelly from the grapes in their own arbors. Grace made that, too.

And look at the size of these eggs.

Now, don't tell me that Grace... Oh.

Don't be silly, but they're from their own chickens. And these are for you.

Oh, thanks, honey.

Oh, Ethel, there's nothing like living in the country.

Clean, fresh air, homegrown food.

Lucy, you're not thinking of moving, are you? Why not? It'd be great for little

Ricky. And Grace took us to see the most wonderful house that's for sale, a

quaint old early American.

Why, Lucy, you're really serious about this.

Well, I am, but Ricky isn't. We argued about it all the way home on the train.

You know how pig -headed he can be.

Well, hooray for pig -headed Ricky.

Ethel, whose side are you on?

Well, I know it'd be wonderful for little Ricky, but I'm thinking a big

Gee, if you move to the country, I may never see you again.

Oh, now, it's not as bad as all that.

You and Fred can come out on the train on weekends. The round -trip ticket's

only $3 .08.

Now I know I'll never see you again.

Oh, honey. Hi, Anna.

Hi, Rick. Honey, I'm in a hurry. I haven't got time for breakfast.

Oh, honey, I wanted to fix you a couple of those nice fresh country eggs.

I'm sorry, honey, but I've got to go. Oh, and I wanted to give you some toast

bread with country butter and homemade jelly.

Lucy, don't start that again.

Start what again?

We decided on the train last night that we're not going to talk about moving to

the country anymore.

We didn't. You did. I decided to keep right on talking about it. All right.

keep right on talking and I'll keep right on not listening.

Oh, honey.

Won't you at least think about it before you say no?

All right.

No.

Oh, you.

Goodbye. Goodbye. Bye, Rick.

Oh, boy. Good for him.

I have a feeling this is one time you're not going to be able to talk Ricky into

something. Don't you be too sure.

All my life I've wanted to live in a quaint old early American house, and I'm

not giving up without a fight. Oh, speaking of quaint old early Americans,

have to fix Fred's breakfast.

See you later.

Thanks for the eggs, honey.

Okay.

Moving the furniture?

Well, obviously, but why is it all pushed together in the middle of the

So I can show Ricky how cramped it is living in a crowded city apartment.

Then he'll want to move to the country, is that it?

Ethel, I wish you'd stop thinking like my friend and start thinking like little

Ricky's godmother. Well, I just don't want you to move away, that's all. Oh,

gee.

Look out.

Morbid curiosity makes me ask, what is that for?

That's to show Ricky how really dirty it is in this city.

Don't tell

me.

City power.

Let's see now.

There, I'm all ready for Ricky to come home.

When is the poor, unsuspecting victim due?

Any minute now.

Well, bad luck. Oh, Ethel, honestly.

Hi, honey.

Oh, hi, dear.

What's the matter with you?

Nothing, why?

You look kind of pale.

we don't get much sun around here, you know.

It was sunny today. Weren't you out?

Yeah, I was out, but you know how it is here in New York with all the big

skyscrapers. The Empire State Building has better color than I do.

Lucy, what are you driving at?

Nothing, darling. Here, I'll hang this up for you.

Oh, honestly, this apartment gets smaller every day.

What's the matter with the furniture?

Not a thing. Why?

Why is it all... scrunch up together in the middle of that.

Well, that's what happens after you spend a weekend in the country. You

how small these city apartments really are.

Any mail today?

It's on the mantel, dear.

Thank you.

Oh, honestly, the...

in this city.

Now, you wouldn't believe that I dusted there just half an hour ago, would you?

Oh, living in this congested

city, you just have one cold after another.

Lucy, I think you have gone far enough.

How's that?

I said you have gone far enough. Oh, you're going to have to speak up, dear.

can't hear a thing over that city noise.

Come on, dear, if you can find room in this crowded apartment.

I'm going to put our poor little city child to bed in his stuffy, dusty little

room.

you should move to the country.

You do?

Yep. After all, it doesn't matter if we have a vacant apartment.

And what's money compared to the health and well -being of our good friends?

Fred, you really mean that?

No, but Ethel made me say it.

He does too mean it. I really do, Rick. For once, you should listen to the

rattle -brained redhead.

I get it. You're part of Lucy's propaganda campaign.

No, we're not.

I was against it at first and said so, but...

After I got to thinking it over, I realized I was just being selfish.

Little Ricky should live in the country.

You really think so? Yes, I think that every child is better off when they're

out in the fresh air. Can you keep a secret? Well, don't put your fingers in

your ears.

Why? Because the only way you can keep a secret is not to hear it. Oh, never

mind now. I won't tell Ricky.

Well, you know, next week is our 16th wedding anniversary.

Yeah, I know that.

And I got a surprise for Lucy. Oh, what is it?

I bought her that house in the country.

You bought the house?

Yeah, isn't that wonderful?

You know, I pretended to be against it at first to throw her off the track, but

it's a wonderful house, and I got a real bargain. I gave the man $500 deposit

this afternoon. Gee, that's swell.

What's the matter, Ethel? I thought you said we should move.

Yes, I know we said you should move, but... But what?

We can go out and see them on weekends.

Fred, round -trip tickets on the train cost $3 .08 apiece. Like I said, they

come in and see us on weekends.

Good night, sweetheart.

Hi, Fred.

Hi. Hi, Ethel.

Hi.

Honey, the baby wants you to come in and tell him a bedtime story.

All right, then.

Why don't you tell him the one...

a red -nosed reindeer who lived in the big city and had one cold after another

and had to keep blowing his nose. That's why his nose was red.

Or you could tell him the one about Snow White and the Seven City Dwarfs.

Sneezy, dusty, stuffy, drafty, sniffly, noisy.

That's enough.

And pasty.

sure not getting anywhere with him.

You don't suppose through the years Ricky has grown an immunity to me, do

Well, they're giving shots for everything these days.

Oh, I don't know. Looks like the Ricardos and the Mertzes are going to be

side by side for the rest of their lives.

What's the matter with you, Ethel? Are you crying?

No.

No, I... I just guess I'm getting one of those city colds you were talking

about. You are...

Better go home and lie down, take a nap, and I'll put a cold cloth on your head.

No. Now, there's no need to get upset. We're not moving to the country. You

heard what Ricky said.

I wanted to save it as a surprise for our anniversary.

But, well, I bought you that house.

Yes, you bought me that house.

Oh, Ricky, that's the sweetest, nicest thing you've ever done in all the years

we've been married.

I thought so.

I would have given that guy $500 deposit this afternoon.

Oh, well, honey, can't you get your deposit back?

How? Well, can't you just tell him that you changed your mind? Yeah.

Well, now, honey, buying a house is not like buying a dress. You just can't call

up the guy and say, I don't like the color.

Well, you could tell him it doesn't fit.

Honey, I never want to live any other place as long as I live. I just want to

right here.

Women.

You can't live with them, but I guess it'd be pretty hard to live without

Well, it might be worth a try.

Sure. Yes, sir. Uh -huh.

All right, sir.

Goodbye. What did he say? Is he going to give you your deposit back?

He said absolutely not.

A deal is a deal.

Oh, dear.

You mean you have to move to the country whether you want to or not?

No. But if I don't buy the house, I lose $500.

Well, I don't think that's very nice of Mr.

Spalding not giving you your money back.

Well, honey, on the strength of us buying his house, he bought another

down the road, so you can't blame him for holding us to the deal.

I sure wouldn't be as calm as you are if I were losing $500.

If you were losing $500, you'd be foaming at the mouth.

Well, I guess that's that.

Oh, honey, I'm so sorry. It's all my fault.

Maybe, maybe you could take it out of my allowance for the next 50 years?

I'll have to go to the club, honey. I'll talk to you when I come home. Goodbye.

Bye, Rick. Bye.

Oh,

gee.

There must be some way to get that $500 back.

Fred, you know about real estate and things.

Isn't there some way that we can make Mr. Spalding give that deposit back?

Well, I don't know.

Unless you could fix it some way to make him think you're undesirable and he

didn't want you to have the house.

Hey, that's a good idea.

Yeah.

Now, let's think. How can we do that?

We?

How did we get in on this?

Well, for heaven's sake, Ethel, you and Fred are the reason that I don't want to

move. The least you can do is help me out of this thick.

Oh, you're right.

Let's see now. How can we be undesirable?

That shouldn't be hard for you, Ethel.

Oh, Michelle, moving out of this house after 30 years.

Well, we're not moving to the North Pole, my dear. We'll be living right

the road.

Oh, it won't be the same.

Maybe you should give the Ricardos their money back. Now, Eleanor, a deal is a

deal. And don't forget, we both agreed now that the children are married, we

don't need this big house.

That's right.

Oh, I do hope they're nice people and we'll take care of it. They seem like

nice people.

Well, you never can tell, dear.

Remember. They're in show business.

Oh, now, Eleanor, we mustn't be narrow -minded.

Some of them are all right.

Bring a couple of my friends in in case of a joint.

Well, not at all. Just want to show them around, you know.

Why

don't

you meet a couple of friends of mine, Fred and Ethel Mertz. How do you do?

How do you do? Hi, honey.

Mrs.

Ricardo, you don't look at all the way you did the other day. Your clothes are

so different.

Oh, you mean that little dark suit and the hat with the veil and the little

white gloves?

Yes, that's right.

I was on my way to a masquerade party. Went as a lady.

means hideaway.

Hey, Singer, get a load of this.

Perfect spot for stash in the arts. Yeah.

Uh, who's... Oh, we have a refrigerator.

Ah, you're cute, kiddo.

Corny, but cute.

Leave it to the brains to pick out a spot like this.

Yeah, I don't call them the brains for nothing.

Brains? Tricky Ricky Ricardo.

I thought he was the band leader.

He's our leader.

We're the band.

But he told us he has a rumba band.

Oh, that one again.

Don't tell me he used that phony Spanish accent, too.

Sorry.

Fingers, I thought I told you not to pack a rod unless we were pulling a job.

Now hand it over.

Why should I? You ain't the brains.

No, but I'm Mrs. Brains, and don't you forget it, bub.

Uh, Mrs. Ricardo.

What do you want?

Well, uh, Eleanor and I have just been thinking, and perhaps this isn't the

right house for you after all.

Now, just a minute.

A deal's a deal.

The Brains bought this house and gave you his check for a deposit.

Well, it's not really a deal unless I catch the check.

Is that so?

So what I think I'll do is just return it. Nothing personal.

That's right.

Nothing personal.

Now the brains will have to find another house.

He ain't gonna like this.

Why do I care what he likes?

Watch out or you'll step on the brain's toes, fingers.

I'll look at her purse. That's where she put the gun. Oh.

Careful.

Uh, Mr.

Spalding, I can explain everything.

You can explain it to the police.

Well, I'd rather explain it to you, sir. No, to the police. And here, you can

take your check back. We don't want your kind of people out here. Take it, take

it.

All right, now back up against the fireplace.

You too, Buster.

What? Back up.

All right, now turn around.

That's better.

Tell them to see who that is at the door and be careful.

Higher with the hand.

It's the brains.

All right, get your hands up. What's the matter? Back over here, brains.

What? Back there.

Back up.

Does somebody mind telling me what's going on? What are you doing here?

Well, I got your deposit back, dear. Here.

Oh, good.

And you can drop that phony Spanish accent.

We pretended to be gangsters so that Mr. Spalding would think we were

undesirable and then wouldn't want to sell us his house so we could get your

deposit back, and it worked.

Except that we might have to spend the rest of our lives in the pokey.

If my hands weren't up here, they'd be right around your neck.

Look, Mr. Spalding, this is very simple. My wife just changed her mind about

that.

It's very difficult for anybody to believe that anyone would put a stock

this. But you don't know my dizzy wives and their crackpot friends.

Quiet!

Quiet! Quiet!

Quiet! I've never known such gabby gangsters.

I assure you, if we could just be alone for a minute, I could explain if I could

get in a word to an edgewise.

Yeah, just let him get a word to an edgewise and he'll... Well, you're all

right. See if he's got a gun, Eleanor. And be careful.

He's clean.

That's what they say on line -up.

Well, take this and guard him. And be careful.

All right, Ricardo.

Come with me.

Ricardo, that's a lady now.

Right over there. In that door. Keep your hands up. Yes, sir.

Bill, I'm an officer.

Right in there, please.

Boy, I could never be a gangster. I don't have the arms for it.

You know, Lucy, now that I get a chance to look around this room, it really is

beautiful. Oh, I know.

It's the most charming house I've ever seen, and you should see the den and the

upstairs. Oh, it's beautiful.

Oh, thank you.

Oh, don't mention it.

Oh, and it's authentic early American.

Yes. It's over a hundred years old. You won't find beamed ceilings like that in

the houses they build today.

No kidding. A hundred years old, huh?

Ethel, did you see the fireplace?

Yes, I did. And there's one in the master bedroom, too. And, oh, the

You ought to see the kitchen, Ethel. It's a dream.

Lucy, I don't blame you for wanting to move out here. Isn't it wonderful?

Beautiful.

It's all right, Eleanor. Mr. Ricardo has just convinced me they're not really

gangsters.

But you wouldn't believe some of the other things his dizzy wife and her

crackpot friends have done.

But are you sure he's telling the truth, Gerald? Yes, ma 'am. Oh, I'm sure. For

one thing, that accent isn't phony. I could hardly understand his explanation.

But how about that gun?

Just a water pistol, see?

That's just a water pistol. It belongs to our little son.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry about all the misunderstanding. And I think it's very,

you to let me keep the check.

Right, all right.

Ricky, honey.

Yes, dear.

What, dear?

Give him the check back, honey.

What? I want the house after all. Oh, no.

Please, honey. I just gotta have it. Oh. Please.

Are you sure this time?

I'm positive.

Mrs. Paul, the house still for sale?

Yes, it's still for sale, but it'll cost $500 more.

$500 more? If you frighten Eleanor and me out of our wits, it'll cost exactly

$500 to recover.

All right. All right, $500. Oh, thank you. Thank you.

That'll be $550 more.

I love Lucy.

Starring Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz. Was brought to you by New Lilt.

The only home permanent with squeeze bottle magic.

The fastest, easiest home permanent ever.

I Love Lucy is a Desilu production.

Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz will be back next week at this same time.