Original subtitles

Good morning.

Hi, honey. Oh, hi.

Say, I'm going to the market pretty soon. You want to go with me? I can't. I

have to take care of little Ricky's little friends.

Lucy, it looks like you're running a pet shop.

Oh, you're telling me.

Every morning I have to change the paper in Alice and Phil's cage.

I have to feed Tommy and Jimmy their turtle food.

And I have to water their little palm tree.

I have to tidy up the cigar box for Hopalong. Hopalong? He's the frog.

Oh. And I have to change the water for Mildred and Charles.

I wonder if this is the way Osa Johnson started.

Come on, Mildred.

Come here.

Come,

Mildred.

Sweetheart. There we are.

Hey, girl, you're pretty good at that.

Well, Mildred's easy. Charles is the problem.

Oh, Charles.

Come, dear.

Charles. Charles.

Chucky Wucky.

Charles.

Charles. I'll tell you what you mean.

I have several different techniques I work with him. Sometimes I sneak up on

him.

Then again, I just act nonchalant, you know, sort of stroll away and...

And then when I think he's off his guard, I just... Listen, let me borrow

hairnet.

Oh, no, you don't. Oh, come on. I'll buy you a new one.

Well, okay.

Yeah.

Gee, I don't know why I didn't think of this before. Oh, help me, will you?

Go from here, okay?

I'll hold on to the net now. You just tip up as far as you can.

Okay, go. Fast. Real fast.

I got it. I got it. I got it.

There.

Now, that was simple, wasn't it?

Simple? Gregory Peck had less trouble with Moby Dick.

Well, that's life.

Children bring home pets. Mothers take care of them.

Oh,

now, who's the lettuce for?

Lunch for Hopalong.

Well, I think it's important for a child to have pets, especially a city child,

you know.

Gee, sometimes I think we should move to the country so little Ricky could have

all the animals he wants.

Oh, Lucy, don't even say you might move away.

I don't know what I'd do without you.

Well, frankly, Ethel, I don't know what I'd do without you either.

Besides, with another vacant apartment, Frantic Freddy would blow what's left of

his top.

I just went through three weeks of torture with that apartment next door.

Hey, speaking of our new neighbors, are there any little children Ricky's age?

No, it's a bachelor, a Mr. Stewart.

And he's an old grouch.

Why would Fred rent to an old grouch?

Well, to one old grouch, another old grouch doesn't seem like an old grouch.

And he's going to pay to have his kitchen remodeled, so Fred doesn't care

anything about his disposition.

Oh. Well, I'm going out to the market, honey. You want anything?

Well, not for us, but Alice and Phil could use some bird seed, and Tommy and

Jimmy could use some turtle food, and Mildred and Charles could use some fish

food. Wouldn't it be easier if they just ate each other?

I'll tell you later. Okay.

Whose is it? Mine.

Yours? Uh -huh.

Is that one of Billy Palmer's six puppies?

Oh, now, honey, listen, it's a very sweet little puppy, but I'm afraid we're

going to be able to keep it. Why not?

Well, for one thing, dear, our house is too small for a dog.

But, Mommy, it's a small dog.

Well, I know, but he's going to grow bigger.

Maybe our house will grow bigger, too.

Look, honey, I got all I can do to take care of your fish and your parakeets and

your frog and your turtles.

But, Mommy!

Oh, now, honey, I'm sorry. I'm just going to have to call Billy's mommy and

her that we can't keep the puppy. I'm sorry, sweetheart. You take your things

off now.

Lillian? Lillian, this is Lucy.

Yes, about the little puppy.

About the little pup... Well, I... I just wanted to say...

I just wanted to say thank you for this sweet little puppy.

Yes. Well, thank you very much.

Goodbye. Oh, boy, thanks, Mommy. Well, honey, I can't make any promises, but

we'll just have to wait until Daddy comes home and see what he thinks, huh?

Okay, you go to your room now, sweetheart.

Okay, mommy.

Oh, hi,

dear. Oh, hi, honey.

Where's little Ricky?

He's in his room.

Oh, good.

Go say hello to him. Oh, honey, before you do, come here.

We, uh, we have a bit of a problem.

Well, what is it?

He brought home a little puppy dog today.

Honey, you know that he can't keep a dog in his apartment.

There's no room.

I know that, dear. He already has frogs and turtles and parakeets and goldfish

and lizard.

The lizard fell out the window, remember?

He didn't fall out of the window. He jumped out to get away from the crowd.

Now, look, honey, he cannot keep a dog in this apartment.

I know, I know.

Well, did you tell him? Were you firm about it?

Well, not exactly.

Well, what did you tell him? Well, I told him he'd have to wait until Daddy

home and let him decide whether we could keep the dog or not.

Oh, that's being firm.

Well, can I help it if I'm soft and squishy?

Oh, he's the cutest little puppy. Wait till you see him together, honey. Look,

there, it's out of the question.

The boy cannot keep a dog in this apartment.

Now, the trouble with you is that you don't use enough discipline with the

child. I'll just go in there and tell him, little Ricky, you cannot keep a dog

in this apartment, and that's that.

Hi,

Daddy. Hi, son.

Oh, is that your little dog?

He's very cute.

Hi there, boy.

He likes you, Daddy.

Yes, he's very cute.

Look, partner, I have to have a little talk with you.

Now, I know that you're all enough.

to know that you cannot have everything that you want.

Now, it just so happens that... Can you talk to him, dear?

Yeah. Where are you going?

Down to the basement to get a box.

A box?

Well, that little puppy can't sleep on that cold floor all night.

Oh, hi.

Hi. Hi, Fred.

Hi. Hey, say, Fred, have you got a box down in the basement?

Yeah, what for?

For little Ricky's dog.

Oh, the dog.

Yeah.

That's what I want to talk to you about. Ethel just told me about.

Yeah? You can't have a dog in this apartment.

Oh, it's only a tiny little bitty dog. Yeah, Fred. We're not going to let him

grow very big.

But there's no pet clause in your lease.

Oh, now, Fred.

Now, haven't I been lenient?

Didn't I close my eyes when you got the turtles?

Didn't I look the other way when the frogs and the goldfish arrived?

Didn't I keep quiet when you got those two molting buzzards?

I got to draw the line someplace.

That pooch has got to go.

Oh, Fred, you haven't seen him. He is the cutest little thing. One more word

of you, Ethel, and you go, too.

Well, I'm afraid that Fred's right. Well, I'm sorry. Oh, honey.

I'm sorry, but if I let little Ricky have a dog, everybody in the building

want one.

I don't mind being a landlord.

But I'll be darned if I'm going to run a pet motel.

All right, Fred, all right, we understand.

Mommy, Daddy.

What is it, dear?

I found a name for my dog.

Oh, what?

I spent to get the box.

Come on, Ray.

Oh, wonderful.

Oh, boy.

You saved the day, sweetheart.

Hey!

What time is it?

Huh? What time is it?

Three o 'clock. Oh.

He's getting better. He hasn't yipped in about 20 minutes.

Will you go out in the kitchen and see if you can quiet him down again?

No, now you go. It's your turn.

I'm setting this one out. You go.

Okay, okay.

Listen, what am I going to do with you?

Oh, dear.

Fred, I told you to go to sleep.

Do you understand?

Sleep, sleep, sleep. Look at me.

I'll sing you to sleep.

Now, come on, Fred.

Please, please, please go to sleep. Please, Fred.

Rock -a -bye.

sure. You're no lassie either.

Now, Fred, please get in there and go to sleep.

Don't you know what time it is?

Three o 'clock in the morning.

You hear me?

Three o 'clock.

Hey, maybe that will work.

Now, you get down there. See? Now, look. Nice clock. Nice clock. That's a good

boy. Look at that.

Look at that.

Yeah.

Yeah, see?

That's a nice boy.

That's a nice friend.

Yeah.

Hey, he stopped.

How you doing?

Well, I remember reading someplace if you put a clock in with a little puppy,

they go to sleep.

The ticking sound keeps them company or something. I don't know. Oh, nice work.

We hope.

Good night. Good night.

Mr. Stewart, the new tenant just phoned and threatens to move.

All right. Lucy, I'm sorry, but it's either the tenant or the dog.

And dogs don't pay rent.

All right, Fred. All right, we'll get rid of him tomorrow morning. Well, see

that you do.

Okay. Come on, Fred. You're awful cranky. Yeah, go back to bed, will you,

Oh.

Now, look, honey, I'm sorry.

But you will have to tell little Ricky that he has to get rid of the dog.

I'll make a deal with you. You tell little Ricky, I'll tell the dog.

Look, honey, let's be sensible.

Tomorrow morning, when little Ricky gets up, one of us will tell him.

Which one?

Well, whoever sees him first.

Okay.

Okay.

Good morning, Fred.

Ricky Ricardo, will you please tell me where you were going?

Me? Uh, rehearsal.

Yeah, that's it. Rehearsal at the club.

At 7 o 'clock in the morning?

Well, yeah, well... Uh, never mind about me. Where were you going?

To the market.

The market is open at 7 o 'clock in the morning? If you can have a rehearsal,

the market can be open.

I know you were trying to do.

You were trying to sneak out of the apartment so you didn't have to tell

Ricky. Yeah, well, you got to get up awful early in the morning to sneak out

this apartment.

I can say that again.

Yeah.

You're right, honey.

I'm his father.

I guess I should tell him.

Oh, well, honey, I'm glad you finally decided.

Hi, Mommy. Hi, Daddy. Hi, son. Good morning, sweetheart.

Say, I want to talk to you, partner.

to have a talk here.

I want to tell you that, uh... I want to tell you that, uh...

I want to tell you that your mother has something to tell you. I am late.

Goodbye, everybody.

Well, honey, listen.

Listen, sweetheart.

Oh, it's not important. It can wait. What say you and Fred and I have some

breakfast? Okay. Okay, come on, sweetheart.

You are the cutest thing.

Oh, come on, he just loves his hat.

Look at that.

Who is it?

It's me, Fred.

Well, what is it, Fred?

Well, Mr.

Stewart here claims that he heard a dog barking.

You did get rid of that dog, didn't you, Lucy?

Well, you told me to, didn't you, Fred?

Mr. Stewart, but he insists on having a look for himself.

Oh. Oh, well, just a minute, Fred. Honey, it's way past your nap time. You

in and take your nap, sweetheart.

Okay, Mommy. Thank you, sweetheart.

Come on.

Okay.

Okay, Fred, just a minute.

Oh, hello, Fred. Oh, hello. This is Mr.

Stewart, your new neighbor. This is Mrs. Ricardo.

How do you do, sir? Do you have a dog in here?

A dog in here?

I told you they'd get rid of it. Then what was that barking a few minutes ago?

Oh, you must have been hearing things, sir.

Now, just remember this.

If I find there is a dog in this building, I'm taking back the first and

month's rent and moving out.

I can assure you there's no dog around here.

Right, Lucy?

No, you aren't.

Well, there's no dog in this apartment.

What are these doing here?

Oh, they're mine.

I love a snack in the afternoon.

You eat dog biscuits?

Oh, yes.

Yes, yes. They're wonderful.

I just love them.

Oh,

you should try it. They got it all over donuts for dunking.

Fred?

No, no, thanks. I'm trying to cut down.

Mr. Stewart, your new neighbor. This is Mr. Ricardo. Oh, how do you do?

I'm sorry about all that noise last night. It won't happen again.

I should hope not.

Oh, we got rid of the dog this morning.

Then we'll see.

Well, you don't see him around, do you?

Oh, good.

Excuse me.

Oh, I'll hang that up for you, dear. I can do it. No, no, no, I'll do it.

what wives are for.

Oh, so that's what they're for.

Say, uh, Mr. Stewart?

business are you in?

I'm retired.

Oh, well, nice work if you can get it.

Mr.

Ricardo's in the nightclub business.

You've probably heard of it.

I never go to nightclubs.

Mr.

Stewart wants to remodel his kitchen, Ricky. Do you mind if he has a look at

yours? Well, we have a very modest... Yeah, go ahead, honey. Show him the

kitchen. Go ahead, dear. The kitchen's right in here, Mr. Stewart. Right in

here. What's that doing on the floor?

Oh, I was going to practice my hat dancing.

Hat dancing.

Oh, I was going to try to surprise you, dear. I've been taking hat dancing

lessons from Arthur Murray.

you understand.

I understand.

I'm a very nice carpenter.

What was that?

It's me. I'm playing the piano.

I'm saying you play the piano.

I thought I'd play the piano so that I could accompany myself in my hat

Well, it's progressive jazz.

Here's your dog, son.

That doesn't work. I'm moving.

I must remind you, Stuart, you have a lease.

The lease says no pets.

Now, either the dog goes or I go.

Good. I'd rather live with a little dog than a big grouch.

Here, take your check back and scram.

With pleasure.

Adios.

Oh, I guess I told him.

Hey, what's the matter with Mr. Stewart? Oh, Fred just did a wonderful thing. He

sure did. He told Mr. Stewart he could take his check back and told him to

scram. Yeah, darn right I did. It's not the money, it's the principle of the

thing. Fred, you gave him back the whole two... $250?

Yes, I gave him back the whole $250.

$250?

I

love

Lucy. Starring Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz. Has been presented for your

by Instant Senka.

Heartache coffee you can drink as strong as you like. It still can't upset your

nerves.

I Love Lucy is a Desilu production.

Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz will be back next week at this same time.