Original subtitles

Ladies and gentlemen, as a tribute to Johnny London, wonderful riding

accomplishments, the National Turf Association wishes to present them with

beautiful trophy.

Applause, applause, applause, applause, applause, applause.

The inscription read, presented by National Turf Association to Johnny

the winningest jockey of all time.

4 ,961 victories.

There you are, Johnny.

Thank you, Ricky.

My pleasure, Johnny.

And I wish to add my congratulations and the congratulations of everybody here

at the Club Babalu.

Applause, applause, applause.

Ricky, that's a wonderful speech. That's the one you're going to make at the big

affair tonight, huh? Yeah, sound all right? Yeah, it sounded great.

Oh, good.

I'm so proud they asked me to be the emcee, you know? You should be.

Yeah. Where's Lucy?

She went shopping.

I told her to go and buy a new hat and a new dress for the banquet.

Would you say that again?

I told her to buy a new hat and a new dress.

In the 25 years I've been married, I have never heard that phrase before.

Oh, now... I know that Fred is a little tight, but I know that if an important

occasion came around, he would loosen up.

He wouldn't tell me to go buy a new dress if he was inaugurated president of

United States.

Hi. Hi, Fred.

Well, Rick, I see you picked up the trophy. Yeah. Isn't that a beauty?

Listen to this, Fred. Yeah.

4 ,961 victories. Isn't that great?

Great? It's terrible.

What do you mean? I didn't have a buck on any one of them.

Well, hi.

Hi. What'd you get? What'd you get? Oh, wait till you see, Ethel. Wait till you

see. Oh, honey, you got the cup.

Is that a beauty? Oh, it's beautiful.

Oh, he's going to be thrilled with that. The engraver did a beautiful job. Uh

-huh. Come on, honey, open up. Let's see what you bought. Okay. Oh, listen,

dear. I have a lot of business to do uptown before I go to the banquet, and I

don't want to lug that cup around with me. So will you bring it down?

Sure, honey.

Now, look, the banquet starts at 7 o 'clock, so don't be late. No, I won't be

late. Come on. Let me see your new dress. All right, calm down. You're

like you never saw a new dress before.

Who's acting?

How do you like it? Oh, it's good.

Gorgeous. Honey, how do you like it? Oh, it's beautiful.

It looks like a million dollars.

That's probably what it cost.

It was only $49 .95.

To him, that's a million dollars.

Honey, but can I help it if I think of you as my dungaree doll?

Campbell, where do you see my new hat? It's the smartest thing you ever saw.

Come on, let me see it. Well, you really have to see it on to appreciate it, so

close your eyes, everybody.

All right.

How do you like it, dear?

Well, it's, uh... What

are you laughing at?

That's the funniest thing I've ever seen.

Looks like you're wearing a fussy fishbowl.

Now, honey, don't you pay any attention to them. It's divine.

Who cares what they think? They don't know what's smart.

Well, I may not know what's smart, but I know what's funny.

And that's funny.

I don't care what you think. It may interest you two hyenas to know that

the latest style from Paris. Oh, no.

I think it's the end. The very end.

The end of what?

I don't care what you think. I'm going to wear it to the dinner tonight. Oh,

you're not.

My wife is not going to... ridiculous in front of all those people. I do not

look ridiculous.

You do, too.

You'll be better off wearing that trophy on your head.

It won't look half as funny.

But, honey, all the new hats look like this. Well, then wear one of your old

hats. Wear an old hat to the banquet in front of Johnny Longdon and his wife and

everybody? Look, Lucy, I don't care what you wear, but don't wear that.

Mommy! What, dear?

I need a bigger box for my turtle.

A bigger box?

Oh, wait just a minute. I'll get you one, honey. Now, Ricky, I'm giving you

last chance. Can I wear this hat?

I'm giving you one last answer. No.

Hey, this is a square new house for my turtle.

Hey, stop it. He can't put his turtle in that tent.

Oh, Ricky, Ricky, honey, come here, dear. You can't put your turtle in that

tent.

Isn't that funny, Fred?

Women will buy anything if it's in fashion. They certainly will.

How would you know? You haven't bought me anything since bloomers were in

Oh, good grief. Ethel, if you're going to play that same old tune on your

piano, I'm going home.

Well, 23 skidoo.

I'll see you later, Frank. All right.

Honey, I'll see you down at the banquet. I got to go.

Wait a minute, dear. I want you to see the hat that I decided to wear. Okay,

honey.

You said I might as well wear this. I think I will.

Very, very funny.

Now take that thing off your head and bring it down to the club in time. Oh.

Goodbye.

Hey, you're cold.

That was a nice try, girl.

I'll see you later. I got a lot to do.

Ethel, help me get out of this way. It's a little tight.

Oh, I think it's stuck.

Oh, this could only happen to you.

What'd you say?

This could only happen to you.

Speak up. I can't hear in this thing.

This could only happen to you.

Don't shout. It echoes in here.

Oh, honey, I'm sorry. Here, come here, honey. Now, just bend over. I'll get

some... Okay, ready?

Oh, that's all.

Oh, Lucy, it won't come off.

What am I gonna do?

Well, we could always butter your head.

not be funny.

I've got to get this thing off. Now think.

Okay.

Oh, gosh.

Of all the things.

Are you thinking, Ethel? Yeah, I'm thinking.

What are you laughing at? Oh, you don't know how funny you look in that thing.

Does heat make metal contract or expand?

I think it makes it expand. Why? Then that's it. We'll stick your head in the

oven.

In the oven? Yeah. The trophy will get bigger and then your head will be free.

Oh, great.

Why don't you put an apple in my mouth and barbecue me?

I guess it wouldn't work, huh? No, I guess it wouldn't work.

Hey, I got another idea.

It better be better than your last one. Wait a minute now.

Just a second.

Ethel, are you going to stay over here all winter?

Oh, Fred, come here and see if you can help us.

Wait till I tell the boys in my old outfit that the Kaiser is still alive.

This is no time for your corny jokes. We can't get that thing off of Lucy's

head. You've got to be kidding.

I am not kidding.

might get the trophy rusty.

Greg, what are we going to do?

Well, we could get a silversmith and cut it off with a blowtorch. A blowtorch?

Whatever they use, then you can weld it back together again.

Oh, dear, can't you think of an easier way?

You better think fast or you'll wind up wearing it to the banquet.

He's right, honey. You haven't got much time. Oh, no. What time is it, Ethel?

It's 5 .30. Oh, I better call the silversmith. Time to come over right

I'll do it. I'll do it for you, honey. A silversmith. A silversmith.

I'm not even going to ask you how this happened.

Thank you.

What are you doing?

What are you doing, Fred? You can't give Johnny Longdon a trophy all full of

fingerprints.

Hello,

is this the silversmith?

Can you get a loving cup off of a woman's head?

Huh? Oh, well, she bought a new hat and I thought it was... Oh, never mind how

she got it on there.

Can you come up here and get it off?

Oh, well, now, just a minute.

Lucy, he's going to close his shop in a half an hour and he says if you want him

to take it off, you'll have to come down there.

Go down there? How am I going to get there?

I'll take you.

She'll be right down.

Mrs. Ricky Ricardo.

Huh? Oh, you won't have any trouble recognizing me.

His shop is way down on Blinker Street, so you'll have to go right from there to

the banquet.

Oh, Fred.

Fred. Yeah?

Fred, run out and hail a taxi for us right away. All right.

Just a minute, honey. A taxi will take too much time.

The subway will be faster.

I can't go on a...

You want to get to that banquet, or don't you?

Oh, all right, all right. Fred?

Is it Fred gone?

Answer her!

Oh, I'm here!

Fred, will you stay with little Ricky? You can finish reading Cinderella to

Yeah, I'll go and get my specs. I can hardly wait to see who that glass

belongs to.

Honey, I'd better go change my clothes, too. I can't go on a subway dressed like

this. Well, if I can go like this, you certainly can go like that.

In my blue jeans?

Ethel, with a loving cup on my head, I hardly think anybody would be looking at

your blue jeans.

Lucy, I have never ridden on a subway in my blue jeans, and I'm not going to

start now.

Okay. Oh, boy, I look terrible.

I'll get up on the couch so I can pull it better from there. Here, honey. Right

here. Turn around.

Ready, set, go.

Oh,

Lucy, we can't get it up over that loving cup.

I want to wear my new dress.

Okay, honey, we'll take your dress along and you can change down there.

Okay.

Say, we better get a big hat or something to cover that thing in the

A big hat? Yeah, you got one?

There might be one in the box in the closet. Okay, I'll look.

Right there. Stay right there.

Ethel, are people staring at me?

No, they're not paying much attention to you. Would you say?

I said, they're not staring at you. You'll have to speak up, honey, with

hat and the cup and the veil and everything. I can't hear you.

I said, they're not staring at you.

Ethel, are you still there?

Yeah, I'm still here. Why?

Well, I have a feeling you're trying to pretend you're not with me.

I'm right here beside you. Okay.

on a subway before?

Who was it? Just some smart aleck. What'd he say? He's going away. He's

away.

This

is

Blinker Street, honey. Here's where we get off.

Come on.

Oh, pardon me.

You're telling me.

Will you tell me where I am?

Yeah. You're on Earth.

Pardon me. Where am I?

Where are you?

What are you?

What's the matter with everybody? Haven't you ever seen anybody with a

cup on their head before?

No, I haven't. I've lived in Brooklyn for 56 years.

Brooklyn? Am I in Brooklyn?

Yes, you are.

Flatbush Avenue.

Oh, dear.

Would you do a favor for me? Would you make a telephone call for me? There's

something I have to tell my husband.

Yes, dearie.

Anything you say. Oh, thank you. You call Plaza 32099 and ask for Ricky

He's my husband. And tell him that I have the cup, but I put my foot in it

again.

I put my head in it.

Just tell him I have the cup and I'm on my way and tell Johnny Longman to hold

his horses.

husband will understand. Now, if you'll just call Plaza 3 -2 -0 -9 -9, ask for

Ricky Ricardo, and tell him Lucy's on the way with the cup.

Oh, dear, I can't find the dime. Just take what you need.

Thanks, lady.

Where's that lady I was talking to?

Where'd everybody go?

Would a policeman be of any help? Oh, good grief, no. Don't get a policeman.

You know how nosy they are, always asking those foolish questions, and then

instead of helping, after you've gone all explaining for a half an hour, all

they do is just mess things up. Don't get a policeman. Thank you very...

if you could direct me to a... If...

Uh,

yeah. Would you get me one... One of those wonderful, kind -hearted

Guardians of the law in this great city. One of those grand chaps. Just what do

you think you're doing?

Well, officer, sir.

You see, sir.

Officer, sir.

Now, you're not going to believe this.

to me on the way to a banquet tonight.

Now, ladies and gentlemen, before we start our official presentation, I'd

you to say hello to our guest of honor.

Of course, you will know the man that has won more races

than any other jockey in the entire world, Johnny Long.

and charming wife, Mrs. Hazel London.

And now, as a tribute to Johnny's great accomplishment

in the racing world, the National Turf Association

is very proud to present to him

We're about to present to him a very lovely trophy.

Oh, wait till you see this. It's really beautiful.

And we do have a trophy, you know.

I saw it. I had it in my hands once.

Well, the trophy should be here shortly. And while we're waiting for the trophy,

I'll tell you a story. I've got a wonderful story about a turtle.

Oh, pardon me. Are you Ricky Ricardo?

Yes. Well, I got a... Well, there's a woman out there. Claims she's your wife.

My wife?

Yeah, she's got a loving cup stuck on her head.

That's my wife.

You have my deepest sympathy.

Thank you.

He seems to be in a little mishap.

Oh, no.

Yes, that's all right.

This is the trophy, ladies and gentlemen, right along with my wife,

And now for the presentation, ladies and

gentlemen. This is the trophy, and I'd like you to read the inscription.

To you, Johnny, the inscription.

Would you mind there if you just push the thing down? Thank you very much.

Presented by National Turf Association to Johnny London, the winningest jockey

of all time, 4 ,961 victories.

There you are, John.

Well, rookie, that's a great honor.

And that's a nice cup.

I'm sure it'll look good in my trophy.

But what am I going to do with your wife?

Well, Johnny, that's been my problem for 15 years. Now it's yours.

Oh,

Ricky. Down, girl.

Can I get a shot of you two with that trophy? Why, sure.

Hold the cup over there, Johnny. That's it. All right, now a great big smile.

All right.

Not you.

Thank you. Thank you.

Love Lucy, starring Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz, has been presented for your

pleasure by Instant Sanka, the hearty coffee you can drink as strong as you

like. It still can't upset your nerves.

I Love Lucy is a Desilu production.

Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz will be back next week at this same time.

Stay tuned for December Bride starring Spring Byington, which follows

immediately over most of these same stations.