Original subtitles

Boy, what lousy luck.

Everybody on the ocean was catching fish but us. Yeah, well, Fred, it's not

important how many fish you catch. It's the sport that counts.

You believe that?

Well, no.

It helps to say when you haven't caught anything in a couple of days. Hey,

there's a note here from Lucy.

Ethel and I have gone shopping for beach clothes.

What, again? Beach clothes, beach clothes. That's all they think about.

Hey, you know something? I think I got an idea how to keep him from going

shopping. How?

Well, the next time we go fishing, we'll take the girls with us. Are you crazy?

The fish aren't biting as it is. Why antagonize them further?

Take your choice.

You're either going to take Ethel fishing with you or you're going to let

run wild in the shops.

She might easily spend over $100.

Welcome aboard, Ethel.

I thought you'd see my way.

I'm going to get out of this clothes, and I'm going to take a little nap.

Ricky?

Oh, it's all right, Ethel. He's taking a shower. Come on.

Oh, Lucy, when Fred sees all this stuff I bought, he'll kill me.

He may faint first, but when he gets up off of the floor, he'll kill me. Oh,

now, Ethel, pull yourself together. Come on. Hey, hide your packages in here.

Oh, can I, honey?

Yeah. Oh, thanks.

I don't know what came over me.

I walked in that store and I saw all those beautiful things and I just got

with power.

I know. I got a little plastered myself.

I spent $68.

Let's see, that's my clothing allowance for the next eight weeks.

I spent $72.

How many weeks allowance is that for you? I should live so long.

we gonna tell the fellas we bought all this stuff?

I don't know, but we're gonna have to break it to them gently.

Hey, I think I'm getting an idea.

Well, encourage it. I'm desperate.

The next time the boys go fishing, we'll insist on going along.

Lucy, what are you talking about? They'll never take us with them.

Exactly. They'll refuse.

So? So, we'll say, well, if we can't go fishing, we'll go shopping.

And then when they come back, We'll show them all those packages, and they won't

be able to say a word about it. What do you think?

In spite of what I think, let's do it. Okay.

What are we going to tell them? We're going fishing with them.

I think they're going in the morning. Let's tell them right now. Go get Fred.

Okay.

Hi, honey. Hi.

How was the fishing? Any luck?

Terrible. Not a bite. Oh.

I think our boat is a yinx.

Oh.

Of course your boat isn't a yinx.

Well, something is wrong someplace.

Come on. A man can't even get a chance to take a nap. What are you dragging me

over here for?

I told you.

Lucy wants to talk to you. Well, we were just thinking, you know, Ethel and I

aren't getting the most out of this trip.

After all, how much of Florida can you see from the inside of a store?

So we decided that the next time you go fishing, we'd like to go along.

You want to go fishing with us?

Yeah. Unless, of course, for some reason or other, you don't want us to go

along. Then I suppose we could spend some more time in those stale shops.

Oh, no, no, we want you to.

I think it's a wonderful idea.

You do?

Yeah.

You don't think it's a wonderful idea, do you, Fred?

Honeybunch, I think it's swell.

Fred, you know me.

You know how I get on water. I'll be hungry and thirsty and cranky.

What's your excuse on dry land?

My husband wants his wife along on a fishing trip.

We do.

And besides that, it was you who suggested it. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

So I did.

And I think it's a wonderful suggestion.

You might turn out to be great fishermen.

Yeah, you might even catch something.

Yeah. I'll bet they catch the biggest fish in the whole trip. Right.

I'll bet we could at that.

I'll bet you could, too, honey.

I mean a real bet. The women against the men. We'll bet you that we'll catch a

bigger fish than you two.

Oh, you want to make it interesting? Yeah.

All right. How much do you want to bet?

Uh, 68 and 72, uh, $140 plus tax.

What?

Well, uh, make it 150 even. That'll be, um, $75 apiece. Lucy.

Oh, where are you going to get the money to pay if you lose?

Out of our clothing allowance.

Lucy, could I see you in the hall for a minute? Don't worry, Ethel. Ricky, you

were saying that your boat was a jinx. Well, now, just so Ethel and I don't get

jinxed, too, let's say we have a boat of our own.

Okay with you, Fred?

Okay, that's perfect.

I'll see that the hotel gets a different boat for you two in the morning. Oh,

fine, when it's all settled. Yeah, now go get dressed. I'll take another crack

at that map.

Yes, sir.

Are you out of your mind? We don't know a thing about fishing. We won't lose a

thing, Ethel. I have a plan.

I'm still recuperating from your last plan.

Oh, now, Ethel. Now, here's what we're going to do. Right after lunch, we're

going out and buy the biggest fish we can find, and we're going to have it

for insurance in case we don't catch anything.

Have it here?

Yeah. Where do we keep it?

In the refrigerator here in the hotel kitchen.

Well, couldn't we get it in the morning? You know how early they go fishing.

There won't be time. Now listen, I remember seeing a pier.

Oh,

you and your hot ideas.

Well, is it my fault if the chef didn't have any more room in the refrigerator?

Close the door. Go ahead, close it.

And was it my fault there's a convention here and he just made 2 ,000 ice cream

molds in the shape of a Shriner's hat?

Well, let's put it somewhere. Moby Dick is getting heavy.

We can't put it in any place. We've got to hide it.

And we've got to hide it before little Ricky comes home from the playground.

hate to have to explain this to him. Why would you have to explain it? Isn't he

used to have a tuna around the house every day?

Hold on a minute now. I'll see if I can get it in this closet.

All right.

Oh, I can't put it in there with the clothes.

Oh, Lucy.

Even if you find a place to hide it, you can't just keep a dead fish in your

room all night and all day tomorrow.

We've got to hide it. We can't let Ricky and Fred see it now.

Oh, great. We've got a hot tune on our hands.

Come on.

I know.

We'll put it in the bathtub.

In the bathtub? Yeah.

I've got to get a hold of this thing. All right.

We'll pack it in ice cubes.

All right.

Hey, won't Ricky find it in there?

Well, I'll draw the shower doors around the tub.

Okay.

Come on. All right.

Got it?

Oh!

Lucy?

What? What if Ricky wants to take a shower?

One thing at a time. We'll worry about that when it happens.

Where are the villains?

They're at the Seaquarium taking publicity pictures. They'll be gone for

Oh, that's good.

Room service, please.

Room service, this is Mrs. Ricardo in 919.

I'd like some ice cubes, please.

Oh, how many?

About 4 ,000.

No, I don't need any glasses.

Well, you see, they're for the bathtub.

The bathtub.

I think I'd better come down and explain.

I'll be right down.

Come on, Ethel, this explanation's going to take two of us. Okay.

You and your great ideas buying a hundred -pound tool in case we don't

anything. Well, I didn't want to take any chance on losing that 75 bucks.

And you said the chef was going to keep it down in the refrigerator.

I still think he was giving us a song and dance.

Who ever heard of ice cream in the shape of a Shriner's hat?

You see the wild look he gave us?

Yeah, you'd think somebody came to him with a hundred pound tuna every five

minutes.

Where are we going to put this beast?

Well, can't we put it in your bathtub?

Yeah, that's a good idea.

Hey,

wait a minute.

What? We can't put it in there.

Lucy brings little Ricky back from the playground. She gives him a bath. She's

sure to find it in there.

Oh, that's great.

Let's put her in your tub.

No, no, no, no, no. Supposing Ethel wants to take a bath.

Listen, this was your idea. You think of something. Let's go.

Now, really.

You'd think the Eden Rock Hotel would have 4 ,000 ice cubes on hand.

Oh, sure.

All the guests must keep fish in their bathtubs.

I want to see how our guest is doing.

How is he?

He's resting comfortably.

Never mind.

Never mind.

I'll go take a hot bath.

Oh, hi.

Goodbye. Goodbye.

Hi, dear.

Oh, hi, honey. Hi.

How was this aquarium?

Fine. Wonderful. We have to take little Rick in there sometime.

Oh, yeah. That's a good idea.

How was your day?

Fine. Fine. That's good.

Where are you going?

I want to take a bath, dear. Take a bath?

In Miami Beach?

With the whole Atlantic Ocean at your doorstep?

Oh, take a dip. Take a dip, honey. It's much more refreshing. No, I don't want

to take a dip. I want to take a spot. Well, look, honey.

Let me draw the water for you. A wife should do those things for her husband.

Anyway, while I'm drawing the water for you, why don't you go in there and find

little Ricky's red swimming trunks? I promise to take them down to him at the

playground. Would you do that for me?

All right.

You got a visitor.

Honey, I can't find the swimming... What are you doing here? Where's Lucy?

I didn't see her.

Wow, that was a close one.

What are you talking about? The fish.

Ethel had to go to want to take a bath. When she went in the dressing room, I

sneaked the fish out of our tub and stuck them over there in your tub.

What's the matter?

Where you going to?

I had to talk to Ethel for a minute.

Oh, I couldn't find the trunks.

Oh, he's wearing them.

Oh.

Ethel, I thought you were going to take a bath.

Well, I changed my mind.

I thought you were going to take a bath, honey.

Yeah, well, I changed my mind. Oh, well, if you're not going to bathe, I

certainly am. All right. Oh, honey.

You don't want to take a bath here in Miami Beach with the whole Atlantic

at your doorstep.

Take a dip. I don't want to take a dip. I want to take a bath. You can.

Why not?

The hot water faucet is broken.

So I'll take a cold bath. It will be a terrible shock.

You can say that again.

The cold water makes you sick. It does not make me sick. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. I got to think of your health there. If you want to take a bath, I

insist that you take a bath over at the merchant's. I can't.

Why not?

Yeah, why not?

Okay, Ethel, let's go.

Honey, you can't take a bath in our tub with Tilly the tuna in there.

I know it, but I gotta have a bath. I gotta get this fish off me. What are you

gonna do?

I'm gonna take a nice cold shower in our tub.

Oh, fine.

How are you gonna explain to the fellas that our tub is occupied?

I'm not going to explain to the fellas. I'm going to get rid of them. And how

are you going to do that?

I have a plan.

I have.

919. What are you calling your room for?

Now, Ethel, just relax. I know what I'm doing.

Mr. Ricardo, this is the manager's office.

The manager would like to have you and Mr. Mertz come down to the office right

away.

Thank you very much.

What do you suppose the manager wanted to talk to us about?

Oh, he probably wanted to talk about the ban or something. Oh, I suppose.

Just a minute. What's the matter with you? Just a minute. Now, Ethel,

everything's working out very nicely. Oh, just peachy.

You're going to take an ice -cold shower, and I've got a hundred -pound

my tub.

Now, get this through your head, Lucy.

I am not going to keep that sea monster in my bathtub overnight.

All right, all right. We'll worry about that after I bathe.

Now, you go on back over there and guard that bathroom.

Fred will be back any minute.

You don't suppose he could have swum through the pipes from your tub back to

ours, would he?

What are you babbling about?

The fish is in our tub.

Oh, you poor little thing.

I knew if you kept up this mad pace, sooner or later you'd crack up.

Go see for yourself.

What? Do you suppose we both cracked up?

I don't know yet.

Don't panic.

Don't panic. Don't panic.

Now, we're going to sit down and think this out calmly and rationally. Now,

look. We brought the fish up here, didn't we? Yes, that's right. And then

took it over there? You did. I did. I took it over there.

You sure that was the manager's office that called?

Sure, I'm sure.

Oh, you must have misunderstood.

Look, Fred.

I may speak with an accent, but I don't listen with one.

Yeah.

Where are the girls?

Lucy's probably still in the tub.

Honey, I locked myself out of our room. You got the key?

That's funny.

Lucy in the tub?

No.

But guess who is?

Ethel?

No.

You're getting warmer.

Quit playing games with me. Who's in there?

Is the tuna by any chance a flying fish?

Oh, no. What are you talking about?

Go in there and look.

Go. Go in there and look.

Well?

Well, what?

If you put that fish in our tub, how did it get back into your tub? Oh, I

don't... Oh, no, but I'm sick and tired of playing hide -and -seek with that

fish. Well, that makes two of us.

What do you say we just forget this whole crazy scheme of yours, huh?

I'm with you.

But how are we going to get rid of our friend in there?

Well, we'll dump him someplace. There's a big trash can in that service room.

We'll just pick him up and dump him in there. That way, our hands will be

Smelly, but clean.

Well, what are we going to do now?

Ethel.

say we get rid of the fish and call the whole thing off.

Oh, now you're talking sense.

What in the world are we going to do with it? I don't know. We'll get rid of

and we have to get it a room.

Get it a room?

All right, so we'll dump it down the elevator shaft.

What are you doing with that fish?

I asked you first.

Yeah,

so you did. Well, I think of an answer. You tell me what you're doing with

yours.

Well, Fred,

what are we doing with this?

Well, I was... Well, that's not the point. Where did you get that?

Yeah.

Well... I know what you were going to do with that fish.

You bought that fish and you were going to pretend that you caught it.

What a sneaky thing to do.

Well, you were going to do the same thing, so you're just as sneaky as we

Oh, you started the whole thing. I didn't start the whole thing. What do

mean I started the whole thing? All right, all right, all right. All right,

let's admit it. We're all guilty.

But the bet's still on.

Tomorrow morning, we're going fishing.

But we're all going the same boat, so there'll be no funny business.

Understand?

What do you want me to do with these 4 ,000 ice cubes?

Where do you want me to put them?

Four hours and not a fight.

Oh, be patient, Ethel.

Just keep thinking about all those new clothes we're going to get.

Hey, Rick, I better check my bait.

Daddy, what if I catch the biggest fish?

If you catch the biggest fish, it counts for our side.

Oh, just a minute now. He's as much my child as he is yours, you know.

The bet was the man against the women. We get credit for anything he catches.

That's right.

You couldn't have had a girl child.

You had to go and have a boy.

Hey, I got a fish on mine. Hey, hey, hey.

Oh,

come on now.

Oh, you call that a fish? Yeah, your bait was bigger than that.

Well, go ahead and laugh.

Yeah. That's the biggest fish we caught. That's the biggest thing that's been

caught out here. We're going back in 20 minutes. That's right. So far, that fish

was the best. Yeah.

We've still got 20 minutes. Yeah.

I'm going to use one of those fly sardines from there. That's a good idea.

This will be better.

Oh, I got a fish. Oh, you got one? I got a fish. Put on your brake. I got a

fish. What?

Put on your brake.

Yeah, I got it. Oh, it's a big one.

Come on, honey.

Whose side are you on?

Come on, honey. Oh, that's a good one.

Well, baby, just one pop of 75 bucks.

Yeah. Thanks a lot, Lucy.

Well, we can't win them all.

New Lilt, the only home permanent with squeeze bottle magic.

The fastest, easiest home permanent ever.

I Love Lucy is a Desilu production.

Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz will be back next week at this same time.