Original subtitles

I'll go get Fred and Ethel. Oh, don't bother, honey. They'll be right over.

Oh, all right.

Hey, you know something?

We haven't played bridge since we four went to Europe.

I know. I bet I've forgotten everything I ever knew about bridge.

Good. Then maybe we can win.

Well,

why the formality? Come on in.

Really?

Yeah?

Signora Ricardo.

Signora Ricardo, it's so good to see you again.

It's so good to see you again, Signora Ricardo.

Well, it's good to see you again, too.

Yeah. Yeah, he sure is.

You know, you said if ever you come to America, you must be sure to stop and

hello.

Hello.

Hello. Hello.

Hello. When I got off the boat this morning from Italy, I said it to myself.

suppose the Ricardos don't remember me. Oh, now remember you? Oh, imagine now

remembering me. Yeah, how about that? You.

How could we possibly forget you? Yeah, good old you.

Ricky, can I see you in the kitchen for a moment? Yes, there. Will you sit down

and make yourself at home? Grazie. Excuse a moment.

Grazie. Yeah.

Who is he?

I don't know.

His face is awfully familiar, but I... Well, think now. Who do we know from

Italy? I can't place him, honey.

I know. Florence.

Florence who?

Florence, Italy.

He's that friend of the letters that was so nice to us.

Oh. Yeah.

So, you just got off the boat today, huh?

That's right.

And in New York, she's a beautiful city.

Well, not half as beautiful as Florence, I'll bet. By the way, how are things in

Florence? I don't know. I was never in Florence.

So, you just got off the boat today, huh?

That's right.

And when I got off the boat in America, I said to myself, I said, Mario?

Mario. Mario.

Mario?

I said, Mario, the first thing you've got to do is to look up your old

the Ricardos and the Merces.

Oh, the Merces. The Merces. Well, they live right across the highway.

Yeah, I'll go get them. I'll go get them. Oh, yes. Yeah, they live right

Look who's here.

Mario. Yeah, Mario. Mario. Oh,

how are you?

Oh, what a surprise.

Who is he?

Don't you know?

No, don't you?

No, I thought you did.

Oh, all we know is that his name is Mario and he met us someplace in Europe.

Well, I got a clue.

What? He's Italian.

Listen, let's see if we can try to find out what city he's from. Yeah, if we

know the city, maybe we can place his face there. Yeah.

Well, we certainly enjoyed our trip through Italy.

Rome?

Naples?

Genoa?

San Remo?

Oh, San Remo!

Some day I would like to go there.

So you just got off the boat today, huh?

That's right.

And you know something?

You're having to change a bit. You all look just like you look in the picture

you gave me.

Picture? The one you took in my gondola on the Grand Canal.

Gondola! Grand Canal!

Venice! Mario!

Mario!

How long are you going to be in town?

Well, just for a few months.

Oh. I come to surprise my brother, Dominique. Oh, that's right. You told us

had a brother in New York. Yes. Mama, he was not there.

Somebody said he went to visit Sam Francesco. I wrote it down on a piece of

paper.

Maybe, Mrs.

Riccardo, maybe you can help me. Sure. How can I find this Sam Francesco? Well,

let's see now.

Well, my writing, she's not so pretty, too. No, it's all right. 44 West 3rd

Street.

Oh, this isn't Sam Francesco. It's San Francisco.

Who? Not who, what.

San Francisco's a big city.

Oh, big city. Well, maybe you can tell me how I get there. Can I walk?

Oh, not from New York, no.

It's 3 ,000 miles away.

Yes, you'll have to take a train or a plane or a bus. Yeah. Well,

I got $10. Is she an offer?

Oh, no, I'm afraid she isn't. No, it's about $60 by bus.

$60, mamma mia.

Oh, well.

Now, Mario, don't worry. We'll all chip in and help you. Sure, Mario, we'll give

you the money.

Sure, we'll be glad to, won't we, Fred?

Yeah, glad.

No, no, I'm sorry. My borrowing is no way to start a vacation in America, no?

Well, why not? That's the way Americans always start their vacations.

Besides... If we don't give you the money, how are you going to get to see

brother? Yeah.

Well, I work. I get a job and make the money to pay the boss. Well, all right.

Mario, if you want to get a job, we'll help you get a job. Sure, Mario. What

you do?

Well, I'm the best gondolier in all of Venice.

I'm afraid it's slack season for gondoliers in New York.

Unless you go down to Canal Street.

I know where he can get a job. In Ricky's nightclub.

He can?

Yeah. He can work as a busboy.

He can?

Sure, he can make $60 in a couple of nights.

He can?

Well, if he won't take the job, I will.

Look, you stay here with us, and then you go to work tomorrow night.

$60 for two days?

My goodness.

America, she's a great country.

Good morning, honey.

Where's Mario?

I don't know. He was gone when I got up.

Look, when he comes back, give him this check for $60 and put him on the bus.

Put him on the bus? Why?

Is something wrong?

Oh, no, no, no.

You and your bright ideas.

What happened?

Well, first of all, he thought that the nightclub was in a canal in Venice.

What do you mean?

He collected all the garbage and threw it out the window.

Well, now that was an honest mistake.

That's just the beginning.

When I stopped singing Babaloo, he stopped to applaud.

Well, so what? I've seen busboys applaud before.

While they're carrying a tray full of dishes?

Well, he's not the first busboy that ever dropped a tray full of dishes.

Wait, wait, there's more.

There's more?

Yeah.

As he bent over to clean the mess that he had made, the maitre d' was coming in

with a cake for some newlyweds.

Oh, no. Oh, yeah.

went up in the air, and that bride and groom had the world's first upside -down

wedding cake.

Oh, my goodness.

What happened to Mario, then?

The last I saw of Mario, the maitre d' and the chef each had him by an arm, and

they were carrying him out the back door.

So just, uh, give him the $60 and put him on the bus. Well, honey, I don't

he's ever gonna believe that he should get all this money for just one night's

work. Look, Lucy, he thought that America was a great country.

Well, just tell him that he's a little greater than he thought he was.

Maybe I can get another idea for a job for Mario. I can't afford any more of

your ideas.

Now, make up your mind.

It's either Arrivederci, Mario, or goodbye, Lucy.

Oh, hi, Mario.

Buongiorno, signora.

Si, senora. You're going to be on your way to see your brother today.

Ricky left your pay with me.

My pay?

Yeah, for last night at the club. I can't take the money.

Why not? It's your pay.

No. Last night, I'm get fired.

No, Mario. You didn't get a fire.

Yes, I'm get fired.

Mario, I think you misunderstood.

Ricky said that you were a... Please, senora Ricardo.

My English is not so pretty good, but...

In my country, when two men grab me, push me to the door, I go, ploop!

I'm a boy!

Well, look, Mario, will you accept this money as a friendly gesture from our

country to yours?

Grazie molto.

Ma no.

How are you going to get to see your brother?

good news, too. I got another job.

Another job?

Si. I was taking a walk. I pass by a pizza restaurant.

In the window, I see a sign that says somebody to make a pizza. That's me.

I go inside.

I get the job.

Well, that's just wonderful.

And now I stay three more days, make enough money to go see my brother

in San Francisco.

Three more days.

And night.

Sit down, Mario.

Could I see you in the kitchen for a minute?

Ethel, how'd you like to play a new game called hide the house guest?

Mario.

Yeah, he's going to be here three more days.

Well, you see, he got another job after Ricky told me to get rid of him, so now

if Ricky finds him here, he'll blow his Cuban cork.

Nice

to

be alone, huh?

Sure is.

Well, let's see now. Mario's been going for two days.

He should be halfway to San Francisco.

He should be.

Well, I gotta go to work. I'll see you later, huh? All right, sweetheart.

Bye.

Bye, doll.

Mr. Ricardo?

Yes?

Bureau of Immigration.

Do you know a Mario Orsatti?

Come in.

Yes, sir. Why?

Is he here? Here?

No, he isn't here.

Anything wrong?

I understand for the past two days he's been working at Martinelli's Pizza

Parlor. That's right.

Well, I was just over there and it isn't open yet.

No, not now. Well, you see, Mario Asari entered this country on a visitor's

visa. Visitors are not allowed to work.

So if your friend has violated the law, he may have to be deported.

Deported? Oh, you couldn't do a thing like that.

Mario didn't know he was breaking the law.

Yes, he didn't, and I didn't either. You see, he was just working to get a

little money so he could go visit his brother in San Francisco.

And that's the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. So help me,

Your Honor.

We try to be lenient in these cases. However, Mrs. Ricardo, under no

circumstances is our sorry to continue working.

Even for one more day?

Not without a work permit, and it'll take him at least 90 days to get one.

I trust that you'll see he gets this information?

Oh, yes, sir.

Yes, sir, I'll tell him, and thank you, sir. That's quite all right. Goodbye.

Goodbye.

the kitchen for a moment, please?

Please?

This time, Mario go in the kitchen.

Okay.

What's up? We're in a terrible jam.

A man from the Immigration Bureau just told me that if Mario works one more

he's going to be deported.

Deported? Yeah, it's a law. Visitors can't work without a permit, so we can't

let him go back to that pizza place.

Lucy.

If Mario ever finds out that he broke the law, he won't even accept the two

salary that's coming to him. So we mustn't let him know. Well, how are we

to get his money?

Well, I could go down and pick it up. If you'll stay with little Ricky when he

comes home from school. Oh, I will.

Let's see now. He's got two -day salary coming.

Bus fare.

I'll make up the rest out of my allowance. That's good.

Mario doesn't have to know anything about it. Okay.

All right. Uh, Mario?

Si, senora?

Uh, Mario? Uh, Mr. Mario? Martinelli just called and said that you don't have

go to work today.

No work? How come no work?

Well, it's a new labor law.

You see, when you start a new job, you work two days and then you get the third

day off with pay.

That's the law?

Yeah. Now, what's the name of that new law, Ethel?

The Taft -Hartley visitors from Italy who work in pizzerias get every third

off amendment.

My goodness.

America, she's a great country.

Yes, sir. Um, Mario, as long as you don't have to go to work, why don't you

relax? Just sit around and rest up for your bus trip tomorrow, huh? Yeah,

a good idea. And I'll go down and pick up your pay. Oh, you're such a lovely

lady.

The table, senora?

I'd like to see Mr.

Martinelli, please.

Si, senora. I'll get him.

You want to see me?

Mr. Martinelli? Yes? Mr.

Martinelli, I'm Mrs. Ricardo.

Where Mario's staying?

Yes. Well, Mario is very sick and he won't be able to come back and work

anymore, so I came over to pick up his two -day salary. Oh, no.

What do you mean, oh, no? I made a deal with Mario to work three days. He works

three days on no pay.

Well, that doesn't seem very fair.

Look, the pizza chef is getting off in five minutes.

If Mario is not here to relieve him, no pay.

Uh, Mr.

Martinelli.

Uh, if I, if I could find a substitute for Mario, will you pay the money?

Well, it all depends.

What are you going to get?

Well, um, I know a pizza specialist.

Who?

Me.

You? Yes.

You know how to make pizza? Yes. Yes, I majored in pizza in my high school

cooking class.

Yeah, I make all kinds.

You see, people from Rome write me for my pizza recipe.

I'll give you a cap and an apron.

Two pizzas.

Thank you.

It's my day off.

Come on, Mario.

It's our turn in the kitchen. Come on. Our turn in the kitchen.

Athol! Come here.

Start back at the beginning and tell me the whole story.

You're not going to like it.

Athol!

cost Ricky a fortune.

Bus fare, cleaning bill for the entire wedding party down at the club, broken

dishes, burned out pizza oven. I know exactly what it cost. $210 .33.

Ricky did everything but tattoo the number on my chest.

Hi. Well, that's that.

Did you get him on the bus?

Yep. He's on his way to San Francisco.

I stayed there until the bus pulled out.

Senor Ricardo?

Yes? Excuse me. Come in.

They tell me Mario is staying here.

Well, Mario was here, but he's on his way to California.

California? Yes, he found out that his brother Dominic moved to San Francisco.

Mamma mia, but I'm his brother Dominic. You're Dominic? I no move to San

Francisco. I just go stay with my sick friend, San Francesca.

of Lucy, starring Lucille Ball and Bessie Arnaz, has been presented for

pleasure by Instant Sanka, the hearty coffee you can drink as strong as you

like. It still can't upset your nerves.

The role of Mario was played by Jay Novello, and Peter Bracco was his

Dominic. Eduardo Cianelli was Mr. Martinelli. Louis A. Nicoletti played

waiter. The immigration man was James Flavin, and Aldo Formica was the pizza

chef.

I Love Lucy is a Desilu production.

Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz will be back next week at this same time.