Original subtitles

And now, I love Lucy.

Gee, these Italian trains sure are cramped.

Imagine, one seat for four people.

Ethel, will you stop complaining?

Well, it's true, they're not very roomy.

They're roomy enough, it's just that you're roomier.

Well, it's not so bad now that Lucy's not here.

Yeah. Where'd she go?

Just out to stretch her legs.

What's the matter? There's a man out there leering at me. The typical masher.

Lucy, why is it that every time you get on a train, you start imagining things?

I am not imagining things. I know a masher when I see... There he is now.

Ricky, don't lose your temper.

Why should I lose my temper?

Aren't you going to beat him up? What for?

For?

Oh, honey, calm down.

He didn't do anything.

Well, he was thinking.

Where was I sitting?

Right beside me.

Where?

Gee, it was there a minute ago. Come on.

Get over it.

Come on, get over it. Get over it. Let me get my dress.

Such a train.

Fred, at what time do we get to Rome?

Ten o 'clock.

Oh.

Well, that's only just about one more hour. That won't be so bad.

this torture?

Well, I mean, that's 10 o 'clock tomorrow morning.

What?

You mean we have to sit like this all night?

Well, it's only 13 more hours.

If I could only reach you, I'd punch you right in the nose.

Fred, why didn't you get us birthed?

Well, it's cheaper this way.

Oh, fine.

Well, as Ricky's band manager, it's my job to save money.

I appreciate that, Fred, but you've got to draw the line someplace.

Oh, we're lucky he hasn't got a hitchhiking.

Will you stop yapping?

Oh, 13 more hours in this sardine can.

Sardines were better off. They got all that oil to wiggle around in.

Let's try to get some sleep, huh?

to have more room.

This is all Fred's fault. Let him stand up.

Fred?

Fred?

Wake up, sleeping beauty.

You couldn't wake him up with a stick of dynamite.

Hey, I got an idea.

Hey, look, there goes Gina Lola Brigida.

Where? Where?

Now, what's the big idea?

Well, you got us into this. You can just... Stand up.

Bethel, I'm not going to forget this.

There's that man again.

Yeah, he is looking kind of funny on you. I told you he was a masher.

Is there anything I can do for you?

Excuse me, senor.

I am afraid I have given the wrong impression.

Yeah, well... Allow me to introduce myself.

I am Vittorio Filippi.

Vittorio Filippi. Yes.

Vittorio Filippi. I produce films here in Italy.

Oh!

and they're just wonderful. They're so realistic and earthy. Thank you. Thank

you. Well, we better introduce ourselves. My name is Ricky Ricardo.

Ricky Ricardo.

Well, I read you were traveling in Europe.

Oh, you did?

Yes. This is my wife, Lucy.

How do you do, madame?

And Mrs. Mertz. How do you do, Mr. Mertz? And Mr.

Mertz. How are you? Good to see you.

I shouldn't have... been staring at Mrs. Ricardo, really. Oh, that's all right.

But you see, she happens to be just the type I need for a new picture.

Who, me?

Yes.

Tell me, Mrs. Ricardo, have you ever considered acting?

Has she ever considered acting?

Look here, Mr. Ricardo, here's my card.

If you charming wife would be interested in auditioning, call me, please.

But do it soon. You see, we start production in a few days. It was very,

nice meeting all of you. Thank you.

Arrivederci.

Arrivederci. Goodbye.

Poor man.

your debut.

It's nothing, Rick.

Nothing?

Smarter than the Yankee Stadium.

Joe DiMaggio would have hit 80 home runs in that hat box.

Oh, what can I expect when I expose him to culture?

Come on, Lucy, take a look at it. I saw it. Listen, there's a big article about

Vittorio Filippi in here and pictures of some of the actresses he discovered.

Aren't they earthy?

Wow.

Oh, I don't think those Italian actresses are so much.

Not one of them's got her hair combed.

Well, they look great to me.

If I let my hair go like that, you'd never let me hear the end of it.

Honeybunch, if the rest of you looked like that, I wouldn't care if you were

bald.

Ricky? Yes?

Do you like earthy women?

What's earthy?

That.

Well, we don't call that earthy in Cuba.

Oh, what do you call it?

I have words for it.

Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay.

Come in.

The hangers you called for, Signora. Oh, yeah, yes.

Oh, uh, Signor Bellboy, would you, uh, translate the story for me on Vittorio

Filippi? Uh, I don't understand Italian, you know.

Uh,

it says here, Signor Vittorio Filippi has announced the starting date of his

newest picture.

which will be called... Oh,

mother!

It's the same thing in Italy.

Excuse me, signora. The name of the picture will be Grappolo Pungente.

Grappolo, what does that mean?

It means bitter grapes.

Bitter grapes?

Oh, what else does it say?

The picture will be filmed in color.

and will be shot in and around Rome.

Uh -huh. Go on.

That's all there is. È finito. Oh, well, thank you very much.

Belle bambine tutte queste cose, sono belle.

Would you like to take the magazine with you?

Oh, grazie. You're welcome. Ai, ai, ai.

I wonder what part they want me for.

Oh, you're probably going to be one of the bunch.

Very funny.

Gee, I've got to find out about the grape vineyards.

How the workers act, what they do there.

Lucy. There must be some grape vineyards near here someplace. Lucy.

I bet I can learn all about them in a couple of hours. Oh, no, you don't.

Why not?

Look, honey, Italy has enough problems already.

I don't want to have to worry about you lousing up the entire grape industry.

Oh.

All I want to do is soak up a little local color so I'll know what I'm acting

about. What could possibly happen to me? Well, I could answer that, but we're

only going to be here ten days.

Come on, Fred, let's check the theater.

Okay. So long, Fred. See you later. No funny business.

Promise. All right, all right.

All right.

See you later.

Come on, Ethel, let's go.

You promised Ricky you wouldn't. I did not. I promised him no funny business.

Soaking up local color for acting purposes happens to be a very serious

business. Oh, brother. Besides, the only reason he doesn't want me to go is

because he doesn't want me to be in that picture. Now, don't start that he

doesn't want me in show business stuff. Well, he doesn't.

How can I find out where the grape vineyards are?

Just look in the yellow pages of the phone book.

Operator, would you ask the bellboy to come up to 605, please?

Thank you.

I'll ask him where they are. So you find a vineyard. What are you going to do

about the fact that you don't speak Italian?

I know a few words. What I don't know, I'll shrug.

How can you shrug a conversation?

Ethel, you have been in Italy for a week. Haven't you learned anything?

What does this mean?

It's wonderful.

Right.

How about this?

Who knows?

Very.

the spaghetti, wind it around the fork.

What's this?

Oh, I give up. What is it?

Get me a large pizza.

Come in.

Si, senora, you sent for me? Yes, I'd like a little information, please.

I'd like to know a little bit about the wine industry, how they make the wine,

how they pick the grapes and how they press the juice out with their feet.

Are there any grape vineyards around here?

Well, there's only one little town called Turo where they still make wine

that, you know. All other wineries are modern. They use big machinery.

Oh, oh, well, where is this Turo?

Oh, it's right on the outskirts of the city. Oh, well, thank you very much.

Turo, Turo.

You want to come along?

No, thanks.

What am I going to tell Ricky when he asks where you are?

Tell him anything you want. I have nothing to hide. Tell him the truth.

Okay, I'll tell him the truth. Don't you dare!

I heard, you know, the poor girl.

Thank you.

Rosa, Teresa, voi lavorerete nel tino.

I want you to work in Tino, and you, Rosa, go to the vineyard. But why?

Why?

Look, look at those beautiful feet. They're as wide as a pizza.

They can hit you so hard.

Let's go, let's go, let's go.

Let's go now.

Where did Lucy go?

Where did Lucy go?

Will you stop repeating everything I say? Where did she go?

Well... Ethel, did she go shopping? I promise not to tell.

Did she go around sucking up local color?

because you were trying to keep her out of that movie. What do you mean, keep

her out of that movie? I just don't want her to go around and get herself into

trouble again.

Really? Well, why would I ask Victoria Felipe to come over here if I didn't

her in the movie?

Why, that's right.

Sure.

Now, don't you worry about it, Ricky. She just probably picked a few grapes

she's on her way home right now.

Yeah, well, I hope you're right. Yeah, I'm sure of it.

I cannot wait any longer, really. Oh, gee, that's too bad. She's going to be

awful sorry that she missed you. Oh, she's so anxious to be in your picture.

sorry, but, you see, I have to go back at the studio. I'm late. Wait just a few

minutes longer. Just a few minutes.

for working in your picture.

Boy, when it comes to soaking up local color, you don't mess around.

Lucy, why don't you go wash that blue stuff up?

I tried to. It won't come off.

But, Mrs.

Ricardo, I'm afraid you misunderstood.

You see, Vida Grapes is just a symbolic title.

The picture has nothing to do with the grape industry.

And, uh, besides, you see, I had you in mind for a small part as a typical

American tourist visiting in Italy.

Oh, well, fine!

Oh, it isn't fine at all. You see, we're shooting the scene tomorrow morning in

color, and I couldn't take a chance that you would be back to normal by then.

Well, well...

Oh, please, I'll do anything. I'll dye my hair. I'll do anything.

Mrs. Ricardo, please.

You know, the part isn't big enough to go to all that trouble.

Really. Well, it's very nice of you to come over, Mr. Felipe.

It was very nice meeting you. Thank you. I'm awfully sorry, Mrs. Ricardo. I'll

shave my head. I'll wear a mask.

No. Goodbye, Mr. Mercer. Goodbye.

Goodbye, Mrs. Mercer. Goodbye.

Just a minute.

Oh. Mrs. Mercer, would you be interested in playing that part?

tomorrow morning at my studio at 8 o 'clock.

You are a typical American tourist, if I ever saw one. Oh, thank you. Oh, thank

you. Oh, I'll be right there at 8 o 'clock.

Oh, imagine me in an Italian movie.

This is only the beginning.

I may end up being a star.

Arrivederci, mi amore.

Mi amore, arrivederci.

Vittorio Filippi was played by Franco Costaro.

The bellboy was Solverio Lomedico.

The two women were Teresa Torelli and Rosa Barbato.

And the boss was Ernesto Molinari.

I Love Lucy is a Desilu production.

Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz will be back next week at the same time.