Original subtitles

And now, I love Lucy.

Lucy, can I borrow an egg? I'm baking a cake and I'm short one.

What's the matter? Are you sick or something?

No, I spent the day with little Ricky in the park.

I am suffering from a disease common to mothers of three -year -old children. It

is called poopitis.

He really gives you a workout, doesn't he? He never stops running.

Well, is there anything I can do for you? Yeah, help me put my feet up on the

couch. Okay, honey.

Oh, you poor little thing.

Want me to take off your boots? No, thanks. I'll take them off later. Help

yourself to the eggs.

Okay. I hope you feel better after you've rested a while.

Hi,

Ann. Oh, hi.

What are you doing lying there with your coat and your boots on?

Motherhood.

Lucy!

Relax, dear. I meant motherhood of a three -year -old child.

Did Ricky give you a tough day?

No, just the same as any other day.

After breakfast, I put on his snowsuit.

I pull on his galoshes. I slip on his mittens. I walk him to the park.

He chases the pigeons. I chase after him.

He runs after the squirrels. I run after him. He gets on the swing.

I push the swing.

He teeters, I totter.

And we leave the park and we walk home. I pull off his galoshes and I pull off

his mittens. I pull off his snowsuit. I fix his lunch.

I put him down for his nap. And he sleeps for a whole half hour.

Well, that sounds very... After his nap, I put on his snowsuit, pull on his

galoshes, and I pull on his mittens. We walk back to the park.

He chases after the pigeons. I chase after him.

He gets on the swing. I push the swing. We get on the teeter -totter. He

teeters. By now, I'm really tottering.

We leave the park. We walk home.

I pull off his galoshes. I pull off his mittens. I pull off his snowsuit. I tell

him to go in his room and play with his teddy bear.

And that is why you find me sitting here with my coat and my boots on.

Wow.

What's the matter with you?

I'm worn out from just listening.

Honestly, I'm so tired. I could scream.

Well, go ahead and scream. It'll do you good.

Oh.

I'm too tired.

It is just silly for you to get this tired every day.

Little Rick is three years old now, and there's only one thing to do.

Now, don't start that again.

What again?

You want me to send him to nursery school. That's right.

Well, I won't hear of it. He's entirely too young.

You said that six months ago. And I was right. We're just going to have to wait

until he gets older.

How much older?

Well, until I feel he's old enough to go to nursery school.

Well, he's going to look pretty silly playing in a sandpile when he's 30 years

old.

Now, honey, don't be funny.

Now, look, it's not fair to the kid. He needs children his own age to play with.

He has plenty of playmates.

Who? Me, Ethel, Fred.

Well, Fred... and you and Ethel are not exactly little Ricky's age.

Although at times you act like you were.

It may interest you to know that one of the world's leading authorities on baby

care does not think he should go to nursery school.

Who's that?

Dr. Spock.

I've been reading his book ever since little Ricky was born.

Now this is what he has to say on the subject. I quote, A good nursery school

does not take the place of home.

Go there.

Well, that doesn't sound right to me. Let me see that book.

I told you what it said. What's good enough for Dr.

Spock is good enough for me. Let me see the book. Why don't you want to see the

book? I told you what it said. I want to see the... You

didn't quite finish that sentence.

A good nursery school doesn't take the place of the home.

It adds to it.

Most children benefit from a good nursery school.

It is particularly valuable for the only child.

for the child with a much chance to play with others, and for the child who

lives in a small apartment.

That's what the good doctor said.

Well, what does he know?

This man is supposed to be one of the authorities on baby care, and he says

little Ricky should go to nursery school.

I don't care.

Well, I do. I say that he should go to nursery school, and so does Dr. Spook.

And he doesn't know everything.

Well, was he ever a mother?

Now, Lucy... He can't go. He'll catch germs there.

Germs? Yes, all those other children have germs.

And I suppose that we have the only sanitary child in New York City.

You know perfectly well that as soon as a child starts to go to school, they

come home with chicken pox and measles and all sorts of nasty little diseases.

Well, that's part of being a child.

What are you going to do, seal him up in a plastic bag until he's 21 years old?

Oh. Now, look, Lucy, this doesn't.

I want you to promise me that tomorrow morning you are going to enroll little

Ricky in nursery school.

No buts. But, Ricky. No buts.

All right.

All right.

You'll be a better mother, too.

You won't get so tired.

him again.

Oh, now, Mama.

Come on.

I'm losing my baby.

Lucy.

Yeah? Do you see Natal?

Uh, not since this morning. She took little Ricky to the park while I went to

nursery school.

You went to nursery school?

Yeah. I thought you promised Ricky you'd take the baby to nursery school.

I promised...

him nursery school and I did enroll him. I didn't promise he would attend.

Oh, brother.

What's he going to say when he hears that?

Nothing if we all keep our big blabbery lips buttoned up.

Don't worry. I'm not the one to break that kind of news to him.

Hi.

Hi, Rick. Got to check the furnace. Bye, Rick.

You too, isn't it, Rick?

Yeah. Say, how did little Rick like nursery school?

You took him, didn't you?

I promise you.

All right, well, how did he like it?

He didn't say. He's a closed mouth, little rascal.

What are you talking about, honey? What did they do there?

Oh, you know the kind of things they do in nursery school.

No, I don't.

You went to nursery school in Cuba, didn't you?

Yeah. Well, they do the same things over here, only in English.

Lucy, what's the big secret?

I mean, what do they have over there? Well...

What do you mean hard to describe?

Do they... They must have sandpiles and swings and flies.

Good, that's just what they have.

Well, how about finger painting and building blocks? All right.

Well, what else do they have? Oh, you name it and they got it. I got to finish

my... Remarkable school.

finds out you didn't take the baby to nursery school?

Thank you, Ethel Beanspiller.

Lucy, come here.

Hi, Ricky.

Lucy! Gee, I didn't know you were home. I didn't hear you come up the stairs.

Oh, you.

Well, it's all your fault. You're the one that pestered Fred to have the

carpeted. You come here.

Why did you tell me that you took Ricky to nursery school?

I didn't. You did, too. I did not.

enrolled him, and I did enroll him. I just didn't take him there.

See, I'm ashamed of you.

Well, I tried, but he refused.

He refused?

Yes, yes. Ethel was right here when I asked him. Didn't I ask him? Yep, she

asked him. She said, little Ricky, you don't want to go to that nasty old...

what's the difference? I'm glad the cat's out of the bag.

I'm his godmother and I think he should go to nursery school.

If you ask me... Yeah, well, nobody's asking you. Just butt out.

Never mind. You keep butting in.

I never know anything around here if you don't come up once in a while and spin

the beans out of the cat bag.

Not spin the beans out of the cat bag.

It's spill the beans or let the cat out of the bag. It doesn't matter which way

it goes.

The only thing that is important that tomorrow morning little Rick is going to

go to nursery school because...

I am going to take him.

Lucy, you've hidden him.

Why, whatever makes you say a thing like that?

Mr. Ricky, where are you? Mr. Ricky!

Mr. Ricky!

Lucy, where is he?

I'll never tell.

I forget you're unfamiliar with our American expressions.

You see, in this country, children have a game called hide and seek. And when

the player who is it wants all of his little playmates to come out from

they're hiding, he yells, ollie, ollie, outside free!

And all the little children come scampering out, and the game is over.

And do you also have an expression for whenever a husband is tired of playing

hide and seek and is just about ready to hit the wife in the nose?

Not up to now, we don't.

Look, I have a right to know where he is.

He's half my child, you know. Well, he's half mine, too. And unfortunately, when

I hid my half, your half went right along with it.

Unfortunately, your half has to go to nursery school with my half.

Not until you find him.

Lucy, where is he?

There he is.

I thought I told you to stay out until at least 11 o 'clock. Come on, son.

How are you, partner?

Oh, sweetie, how are you? I'll talk to you later.

You're going to nursery school. Come on.

Lucy, I'm too weak to defend myself.

Better not cut out to be mothers.

sailboat. Oh, Ethel, it's a house.

It's yours.

Oh, now, wait a minute. You're both wrong.

It's an elephant.

You know, he's smarter than I thought.

This is a picture of an elephant sailing a houseboat.

Isn't it wonderful? I'm going to have it framed and hang in my bedroom.

You can forget about it.

One day?

Oh, it's hereditary, you know. Oh, hereditary. It's the nursery school.

working out fine, just like I told you it would.

Like you?

Hey, hey, hey, now, watch your language.

The baby will be learning Spanish any day now.

Oh, I think I hear the baby.

Baby learning Spanish.

He's too young.

I was speaking Spanish when I was his age.

Oh, well.

Well, I hope you're satisfied.

Oh, what's the matter?

The baby is sneezing. Sneezing?

I told you that nursery school was nothing but a hotbed of bacteria.

Dr. Gettleman, this is Lucy Ricardo.

Something's wrong with our baby. Can you come over right away?

I have nothing to worry about, Mrs. Ricardo.

It's just a mild tonsillitis. Are you sure?

Oh, yes.

I'll write you a prescription.

You and that nursery school.

You can't blame it on the nursery school, Mrs. Ricardo.

After all, this is the fourth attack of tonsillitis little Ricky's had this

year. It's all your fault.

It's my fault. He just told you he had nothing to do in nursery school.

He inherited his weak tonsils from you.

What are you talking about?

Everybody knows Cubans have weak tonsils.

Doctor, do Cubans have weak tonsils?

Not that I ever heard of. Thank you. Well, he certainly didn't get them from

I had the strongest tonsils on the block.

They bulged with muscles. People used to come from miles around and say, let me

look at your tonsils.

I'm afraid you have a siege like this to look forward to every time he has a

cold, Mrs. Ricardo.

Oh, dear.

Yes, I strongly advise that when this infection clears up, we remove those

tonsils.

Oh, no, doctor.

Honey, we don't have to decide right now. He's just a little baby.

I know, sweetheart.

Thank you for coming, doctor.

Yes, I'll drop this at the drugstore and have them send it up.

That infection will clear up in a few days.

Good night. Good night, doctor.

Oh, I'm coming, dear.

Oh,

he wants his teddy bear.

The patient is being flown in.

medical students interested to be ready to come over as soon as we call.

This is a most unusual operation.

Goodbye.

Come on, honey, let's go.

Oh, I hate to leave the baby like this.

Oh, honey, the operation was over hours ago.

The baby's in fine shape. He's getting the best of care. You haven't eaten all

day. Come on, you've got to eat. All right, nurse. Yes? Please take good care

our little boy until we get back.

Ricky Ricardo, Jr., room 602.

We will.

Okay. I'll be right back as soon as I have dinner, and then you won't have to

bother because I'm going to spend the night with him. Oh, I'm sorry, Mrs.

Ricardo. Parents are not allowed to stay overnight with their children.

Oh, but this is the first time our baby's ever been in a hospital, and I

him. Oh, my dear, I'm sorry.

Regulations. Reg... Well, we'll just have to get permission. We'll have to

Dr. Gettleman. I'm afraid that won't do you any good.

But I promised him.

But, honey... Well, she says it's regulations. But, honey, I promised him.

promised him.

I've never broken a promise to him in my life. I know, honey, but you shouldn't

have promised him. And I promised him that I could bring him a teddy bear so

could cuddle with it. I know, honey, but there's nothing you can do about it. If

it's against regulations, there's nothing we can do about it. Now, come

me get some dinner for you, and then we'll go to bed.

Good night.

Good night.

See you in the morning.

Yeah, see you in the morning.

Can I help you? No, thank you.

Are you a patient?

Oh, of course.

The maternity ward is just in there to the right.

Would you register first, please?

Right around the morning ring, thank you.

Wait a minute.

Say, did you just send up a maternity case?

You didn't?

Thanks.

I didn't see anyone.

Why? Well, she just ran right by my desk.

Patient?

Maternity. When?

Any minute.

I mean, when did she run past you?

Just now.

Look, if you see her, let me know, will you?

Okay.

All right, nurse, we're ready for the next patient.

Just a minute. Let go.

What's the matter?

My patient's changed his mind. He doesn't want an operation.

Do you?

No, no, no. He's decided to hang on to whatever it was you were going to take

out.

Oh, cut to nonsense. Nurse, Dr.

Barnett's waiting to perform this operation. He does not want to be cut

does not want to be cut open.

Gentlemen,

I want to apologize for calling you in here at this hour of the night.

But this is a most unusual operation.

You may never have a chance of seeing anything like this again.

Thought you should see it.

I understand a few of you have never witnessed surgery before.

And under those circumstances, we always have a few incidents of fainting.

Now, if you feel as though you're going to keel over, why, just step back so you

don't fall over the patient.

What's going on here?

My patient has changed his mind. He doesn't want to have the operation.

He doesn't want to have the operation? No, he doesn't want any part of this

whole ordeal. Well, why have you got the sheet pulled over his head? He can't

stand the sight of blood.

Well, this is most unusual. He says he wants to go home. I'm going to have to

take him home. He lives right away from here, New Rochelle. I have to take him

all the way out there.

Well, what patient is that?

This is your patient for the operation, Doctor.

Well, what patient is this?

Oh!

wife, Mrs. Ricardo, and I think she's in room six or two with our child. No, she

couldn't be there. It isn't permitted.

Well, I got a feeling that that's where she is.

You evidently don't know our rules.

Well, you evidently don't know my wife.

No one missing from the psychiatric ward, nurse.

Look,

if you would just take me to the room. Oh, I'm awfully sorry, but I just don't

have the time.

The whole hospital's in a turmoil trying to find some screwball red -headed

nurse that has gone berserk.

Was she carrying a teddy bear?

How did you know?

Well, let me put it this way.

I am looking for my screwball red -headed wife who has been berserk for 15

years.

Now, if you just take me to this room six or two, I got a hunch that we're

to solve both our problems.

Well, very well.

But I'm quite sure it won't do a bit of good. It's entirely against the rules.

Dr. Gettleman was played by Olin Coulee. Dr. Barnett was played by Howard

Hoffman. And the nurses were Iva Shepard, Maxine Seaman, Bob Brubaker,

Ray.

I Love Lucy is a Desilu production.

Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz will be back next week at this same time.