Original subtitles

And now, I Love Lucy!

Everybody, on behalf of the entire neighborhood, welcome home.

Where's your mother?

Oh, she's on her way home to Jamestown.

Oh, look at the baby.

He's almost as big as I am.

Well, that's the California climate. You know, everything grows bigger out

there.

Yeah, look at that, though.

Ricky, Ricky, how does it feel to be a big movie star?

Oh, what do you mean a big movie? Tell us all about it. Oh, now, now, Mr.

Ricardo is tired, but I'm sure he'll tell us all about the trip at the party

tonight. The party? Yes, yes, we all chipped in together, and we're going to

have a Ricky Ricardo block party tonight.

Well, did you have any trouble managing the building?

Not a bit.

Collect all the rents? Every penny.

Good girl.

Just one thing, Mr. Mertz. Yeah?

We had a cold day a couple of weeks ago, and I turned the furnace on. Oh, that's

all right. And I couldn't remember how you told me to turn it off. You mean

furnace was on for two weeks?

Get away from me!

Oh, gee.

Isn't that nice, them giving us a party tonight?

Yeah, it is.

Block party. Imagine that.

Hey, you know, I think I'll dazzle the whole neighborhood and wear my Don Loper

original. What are you going to wear?

My Gimble's basement original.

Oh! Oh, hi.

Hi. I haven't seen so much excitement around here since Lindbergh came home in

27.

I want to thank you very much for cleaning our apartment, Mrs. Trumbull.

sure. Well, that was very nice of you. Glad to do it. Here's your paper. Oh,

started our paper again. Thank you. No, it wasn't ever stopped.

Oh, no.

Mother forgot.

But it's a good thing, too, because I saved them all. Now you can find out

happened in New York while you were gone.

Well, thanks very much, but they have papers in Hollywood, too, you know. Not

the New York Times. Oh, that's true.

That's true.

He fell asleep while I was sending his clothes. Oh, poor little guy. He was so

tired. I know.

What's all this?

Mother, Mrs.

Trumbull saved all the papers for us, dear. Wasn't that nice?

Wasn't your mother supposed to... Yes, she was, but she didn't. And Mrs.

Trumbull saved him. Wasn't that nice, dear?

Oh, yeah, yeah. Very, very nice. Very nice, Mrs. Trumbull.

Well, Mrs. Trumbull, did anything exciting happen in the apartment house

we were gone?

Mrs. Trumbull?

Anything wrong, Mrs. Trumbull?

Oh, no, no.

You sure?

No, it's just that I've never been this close to a movie star before.

Well, I... You see, I used to be a Rudolph Valentino fan.

Now I'm a Ricky Ricardo fan.

Well, now, Mrs. Trumbull, I am the same guy that I was before I went to

Hollywood. Say, doesn't he have those big shoe -button eyes, though?

Oh, he sure does.

Boys! You could bake bread in here.

Well, I'll see you tonight at the block party, Rudolph.

Oh, I mean, oh, well.

Isn't she cute?

Yes, Rudolph.

What happened to her?

The heat got her.

Two weeks in a hot building will do it every time.

Why did she call you Rudolph?

Because he looks like a red -nosed reindeer.

He thinks he's another Rudolph Valentino.

Hey, Ethel, let's call all of our friends and have them come to the party

tonight. I don't want them to miss this. Okay.

tear Ricky to pieces.

I didn't know he was that important.

Neither did I.

Where is he?

We must have left him out in the hall.

Honey,

are

you all right?

What's the matter with those people? Are they crazy or something?

No, no. They just wanted to touch you because you're a movie star.

Yeah. Where's your coat, honey?

Some woman just ripped the right off my...

I think Fred finally got it back from her. Oh, for heaven's sake. I'll go

up. Yeah, that's mine, honey. Thank you.

See you later.

Well, it's what's left of Ricky's sport coat.

You mean they pulled it right out of your hand?

Well, not exactly. When I saw which way the wind was blowing, I capitalized on

it. What do you mean? Well, I mean I grabbed it and tore it into pieces and

them for four bits of pop.

My friend, you're kidding. When it comes to money, he never kids.

Lucy, have you got any old coats or stockings or shirts or DVDs or rickies?

can handle all the merchandise you can give me. No, no.

What am I talking about? I got an old shirt or ricky that I've been using for

paint rag.

Oh, Fred. Hey, this thing could be bigger than uranium.

Oh, well,

isn't it wonderful having our own little... group together again. It's so

to have you home. Well, it's wonderful to see all of you, and I'll bet you're

just dying to hear about our trip. Well,

it was just fabulous. Did Ricky really hobnob with the stars? Oh, yes. We all

hobnobbed. We hobbed with every knob that was worth hobbing with.

It was just fabulous. Right after we checked into our palatial suite at the

Beverly Palms Hotel, we all decided to go out to lunch. So we all trooped over

to the Derby.

Oh, you probably know it as the Brown Derby, but us show folk who eat there

the time, we just call it the Derby.

So as I say, we wanted some lunch, so we went over to the Derby, and we sat in a

booth. Let's see, now you were on the outside, Fred was in the middle, I was

this side.

And we hadn't been there.

How's that?

Wasn't Ricky with you? No.

No, as I say, we'd only been there about five minutes when... Well, where was

Ricky? What was that, dear? Where was Ricky?

Oh, I don't know. He was an MGM, I guess. Oh, yes.

Meanwhile,

meanwhile, meanwhile, in another part of town, we were having lunch at the

Derby. And, as I was saying, we'd only been there about five minutes.

Hi, everybody.

How was the trip, Ricky? Oh, it was wonderful.

Is Hollywood as fabulous as they say it is? Oh, it's just great.

Ricky, when is your new pitch open?

February. That's right, February.

It's at the Radio City Music Hall on 49th Street. That's right.

Did you have a lot of big love scenes in it? Yes, he did. I'll tell you all

about it, Mr. Trumbull. I'll tell you all about it. The funniest thing that

happened was when I met Bill Holden.

Bill Holden?

on me. And all of a sudden, I look around, I say, who do you think the

was? Bill Holton.

We have stories to tell. Yeah, yeah.

Tell them about Richard Widmark.

Richard Widmark?

Oh, yeah. We have lunch at Perino's one day, you know.

Hi. Hi.

Hi.

Is he awake yet?

Who?

Ricky. We were going to back you in the hall, but we don't want to bother him.

Oh, go ahead.

Vacuum. No, no, no, no. We don't want to wake him up. Oh, we wouldn't want to do

anything that would disturb him.

What's the matter with you two? I can understand those people last night, but

why are you treating Ricky like he was made a cake or something?

Oh, Lucy, he doesn't belong to us anymore.

He belongs to the world.

He's not an ordinary person. He's a great big movie star.

Oh, movie star.

Phooey. Lucy, you go wash your mouth out with soap.

What's the matter with you two? Good morning, Mickey. Good morning.

Allow me.

Thank you, Fred.

You're welcome.

Cigarette.

What's the matter with you two?

Oh, nothing.

Nothing.

I got to go downtown, honey.

Goodbye, Fred. I'm shaking some uniforms. I'll see you later. Okay.

Ricky.

Goodbye, Fred.

I'm going to be right back. Well,

I'm disappointed in you.

What do you mean? Why? Letting him walk. Aren't you afraid you'll get the soles

of his shoes dirty?

I'm surprised you didn't pick him up and carry him. him all the way downtown.

Really?

Well, it's different now. Oh, it's different.

Hello.

Oh, well, I'm sorry. If you want an interview with Mr. Ricard, do we have to

call him at the Tropics?

Oh.

Oh, oh, oh.

Oh, you want to do a story about me?

Well, that would be wonderful.

Well, I'd be delighted, of course.

Yes, that's wonderful.

That's quite all right, yes.

Thank you.

Goodbye.

Well, what do you know?

Nancy Graham is coming here this afternoon to do a column just about me.

She's going to call it The Lucy Ricardo Story.

Oh, that's great.

Yes, it's about time somebody realized that I'm important, too.

Mrs. Ricardo?

Yes, won't you come in, please? Thank you.

I'm Nancy Graham.

Oh, I know. Won't you sit down? Thank you.

Care for some tea? No, thank you.

I have another interview this afternoon, so if you don't mind, we'll get right

down to business.

Fine. I was born Lucille McGillicuddy in the thriving metropolis of Chatedown in

19...

I had a very happy childhood.

I graduated from Jamestown High School in... Let's say I just graduated four

years after I started.

After I left high school, I went to New York City and... Don't you take notes?

Yes, I do. Now, tell me. When did you first meet Ricky Ricardo?

Oh, that was years later.

After I left high school, I went to New York City... Mrs. Ricardo. Mrs. Ricardo.

Yes. When did you first meet...

Him.

Him.

Well, I thought this was the Lucy Ricardo story.

Oh, it is.

From the time you met him.

Well, I had a very exciting life before I met him.

I'm sure you did, my dear. But you are only interesting to my readers as you

reflect. Him.

Well, I thought you wanted to know something about her.

Mrs. Ricardo, my dear, you obviously don't know what your husband really

to every one of the 160 million people in the United States.

80 million of them are women, and they would all love to be in your shoes.

Well, I don't understand. Ricky went to Hollywood and made one picture, came

back here, and suddenly the whole world is all top... Eighty million of them are

women.

And they'd all like to be in my shoes.

That's right.

And I am one of them.

Mrs. Ricardo, my dear.

What? You have been chosen for a very important task in life.

I have?

Why, certainly.

It's up to you and you alone to make Ricky Ricardo happy.

You must see that his every wish is fulfilled, that his every waking hour is

filled with happiness due to your love and devotion.

Why, Ricky Ricardo is no ordinary man.

He's something special.

Give him the attention he deserves.

Make him happy.

I will, I will.

Yours is a sacred trot.

Don't worry, I won't goof.

Now I must be going.

Well, what about your story?

I have my story. And to think that it happened right here before my very eyes.

The regeneration of a woman's character.

80 million heart -sick women will rest easier on their tear -stained pillows

when they have read my article, Now I Am His Slave, by

Lucy Ricardo.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Snockman's with her back.

Paper here, honey?

Paper, yes, I'll get it.

Oh, you sit down, dear.

You sit down.

Oh, my God.

Oh,

is there something wrong?

Are you sure?

Everything's wonderful.

Hi.

You got any more Ricky souvenirs for me? No, you picked me clean yesterday.

What smells so good? Are you roasting another pig?

Yep. Ricky's favorite food, and that's what Ricky's going to get.

That's what you ought to give him.

What are you doing, shining his shoes?

I certainly am. He likes to be able to see his face in them, so I shine them

myself. Oh.

Good morning.

Oh, hi, Rick, old pal.

Good morning, darling.

There you are, sweetheart.

There's your orange juice.

No seeds.

All gone.

All gone.

There we are.

There we are.

Can you close that for me, Fred, please? Yeah.

There we are, darling.

There we are, sweetheart.

Are you going to watch the football game on television today?

Well, I'd love to, Fred, but I have to go to the Tropicana and get some music.

Oh, now, darling, you stay right here and watch that football game. I'll go

and get your music for you.

Oh, honey, the Tropicana's way downtown.

Now, there's nothing I'd rather do.

Now, Lucy... Now, not another word. I'll go right now, darling. I don't mind at

all.

Is there anything else I can get you while I'm downtown, dear? No, no,

at all. Nothing? All right, sweetheart.

Well, I don't get it. I don't get it at all. Why is everybody treating me like

if I was a perfect stranger?

Even you.

Have I changed?

Nope.

Then why is everybody treating me like if I was something special?

Well, I don't know about the rest of them, but I got a pretty good gimmick

for me here. I don't want to loss it up.

Well, I should have known you had some kind of an angle.

What about her?

She shines my shoes. She answers my fan mail. She draws all my errands for me.

She follows me around like a little puppy.

She thinks I'm a... She's dreaming like if I was a big movie star.

I want to be treated like a husband.

What an awful thing to say.

Look, Fred, I got to snap her out of it.

You got any ideas?

Nope. Getting Ethel to stop being nice to me is a problem I've never had to

face.

Well, you won't like it any more than I do.

Well, maybe Lucy will get tired of it. I hope so.

Maybe I can help her get tired of it. What do you mean?

Well, she wants to do things for me, right?

I'll give her things to do.

She thinks I'm a big movie star, right?

Well, I am going to become the biggest and most revolting movie star she has

ever seen.

have you been?

I have been dying for a cigarette.

Oh, I'm sorry, dear. I'm sorry I took so long.

There you are.

Traffic was terrible.

Really, an hour and a half. Well, I'm sorry, dear.

My shoes shine.

What? Are my shoes shine?

Oh, yes.

Yes, I'll get them, dear.

Here they are.

See? There they are, sweetheart.

Listen, I can't be bothered with this music and lyrics all mixed up together.

Type the lyrics all by themselves, please.

Yes, sir. I mean, certainly, dear.

Thank you.

Right now, please.

Yes, dear?

You didn't shine these shoes, did you?

Oh, yes, I did, dear. Why, something wrong?

Well, I can't see my face in it.

You can't?

Well, I saw mine.

Yeah, there I am.

Is it too much to ask that one's shoes be shined properly?

No, dear.

No.

I gladly.

Thank you.

The lyrics? Don't forget the lyrics, please.

No.

Yes, please. Immediately.

How about the shoes, Lucy? I'm waiting for the shoes.

Honey, I'm typing.

Well, you have two hands, haven't you?

Well, yeah, that's true.

The ashes are about to fall off.

Well, honey, there's an ashtray right there.

I don't seem to be able to reach it.

Well, neither can I.

Well, what do you want me to do with them?

in ashes.

And if you want another roast pig, you can crawl in the oven yourself, you big

ham.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah. What do you think of that?

I think it's just great. I don't care what you think.

You think it's just great?

Yeah. You think I want to be treated like a movie star, don't you?

Well, don't you?

No, I don't.

Well, then what are you doing all that stuff for?

I just wanted to make you mad enough. so you stop fighting back.

Well... Maxie Graham

said that I should fulfill your every wish.

Well, you'll be...

and Desi Arnaz will be back next week at this same time.